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03x07 - Spacemates/Temper Tee Pee

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Camp Lazlo". Aired: July 8, 2005 – March 27, 2008.*
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Series follows Lazlo, an anthropomorphic spider monkey who goes to a camp called "Camp Kidney", a Boy Scout–like summer camp in the Pimpleback Mountains.

03x07 - Spacemates/Temper Tee Pee

Post by bunniefuu »

[Trumpeting]

Attention campers.

Attention campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then the trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

[Yodeling]

[Shatter]

Ssh!

I think it's happening.

Almost.

There!

The planets are aligned.

Time for our seance.

This is so exciting.

Yeah.

I love the universe board.

There's nothing more natural

Than asking an inanimate object

How to think and feel.

What do you think we should

Ask it first?

Hmm.

I was just wondering who our

Soulmates are.

That sounds intriguing.

Ugh!

What if I don't want to know who

I'm destined to be with for all

Eternity?

Why wouldn't you want to

Know?

Your soulmate is your cosmic

Copilot.

Your knight in shing armor.

Ooh, excellent point, patsy.

That's why it's very important

To know who your soulmate is at

All times.

Well, I guess we can start

With the soulmate thing.

I'll go first.

Universe board, who is my soul

Mate?

Did you see what it said?

Yeah.

Lazlo.

Tell us something we don't

Know.

All right.

My turn.

I already know that my soulmate

Will be a rugged and

Intellectual space man who will

Take me on wild adventures

Through the universe.

All I need to know is his name.

Universe board, who is my soul

Mate?





Ha ha!

For a minute there, I thought it

Said chip!

Ha ha!

A dung beatle.

Ha ha!

Let's try it again!

Who's my soulmate?

C-h-i-p.

Huh?

It's true.

Chip?

You can give me?

A dung beatle who's a dumb as a

Pile of rocks?

Look.

It's still moving.

Skip?

Skip?

Which one is it?

Both?

Oh, no!

It's ok.

It's ok.

Well, what am I gonna do?

Oh, come on, neckerly.

Those are the breaks.

Nina, the universe board

Paired the 3 of you together

For a reason.

They're obviously the most

Compatible guys in the entire

Universe, you know, for you.

But why did I have to get 2?

It's because she's so tall,

Isn't it, gretchen?

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Has the universe board ever

Been wrong?

No.

See?

You could at least give them

A chance.

I mean they can't really be

As dumb as everyone says they

Are.

Vroom vroom.

Beep beep.

[Laughing]

Ah.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Ha ha.

Ugh.

"Dear chip and skip, meet me at

The old oak tree at 7 for a

Romantic candle lit dinner.

Your soulmate, nina."

Ok, here goes nothing.

[Laughing]

What was that?

What is it?

I think it's a donut.

[Sniffing]

It smells sweet like donut.

Wait.

I smell food, too.

I know.

This is a donut.

No.

It smells like a picnic, and

This must be a raffle ticket for

A donut giveaway.

Do you want to go to the picnic?

Yes.

I smell the food, but I don't

See the food.

Yoo-hoo!

Boys!

I'm over here.

Maybe she knows where the

Food is.

I see you didn't have any

Problems following the

Directions on the invitation.

[Laughing]

[Forced laugh]

[Laughing]

[Farting]

So, would you care to grab a

Seat?

Ok.

Wouldn't you guys rather use

The chairs?

Uh-huh.

Yes?

Food!

Ugh.

Maybe you would like to start

With an after-dinner mint before

Dinner.

Ok.

Can we have another?

Wet wipes anyone?

Ok.

Well, you 2 clean up very

Nicely.

I'll say.

I can see my reflection in my

Fingernails.

Hi!

Bread, anyone?

Don't mind if I do.

So, how about some light

Romantic conversation?

You can start by asking me a

Question.

Do you have any butter?

Anyway, I think this is a

Great place for a candle-lit

Picnic amongst soulmates.

Originally I was thinking about

Doing it closer to the lake, but

Then gretchen said, you know,

"The old oak tree has a better

View."

So here we are.

Anyway, what are boys' views on

Einstein's theory of relativity?

[Stomach rumbling]

Shh!

My tummy's talking.

My tummy can talk, too.

Speak to me.

Maybe you're not trying hard

Enough.

Try harder.

[Groaning]

Nope.

Still don't hear anything.

Why won't you talk to me?

Yeah, say something!

Hey that kind of hurt a

Little.

Sorry.

Come on!

Talk!

Give us some conversation.

Boys...

Did you know that galileo's

Favorite color was yellow?

But mine's purple.

I don't know about purple,

But I can turn myself blue.

So they say that purple is

The preferred color for most

Scientifically-minded people--

Is he ok?

Pst, are you ok?

Am I blue yet?

No.

He's fine.

So, this is who I'm going to

Spend the rest of my life with.

Never question the universe,

Nina.

It's never wrong.

Never.

Uh...

Ah...

This is not happening!

You are not my soulmates!

The universe was wrong.

It's off-kilter on sundays!

What's kilter?

Not kilter.

Off-kilter!

It's busted, out-of-whack, and

Broken!

Broken?

Broken!

[Crying]

I think she got upset.

Yeah.

Somebody broke her universe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We should fix it.

Yeah.

Fix it for nina.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

[Crying]

It's not your fault, universe

Board.

Where do we go from here?

Hey, now, don't push on the

Back gusters.

Is that chip and skip in

Spaceman suits?

And pushing a rocket ship?

Universe rocket's a go.

Side mirrors?

Check.

Oxygen supply?

Check.

Ignition?

Check.

Chip, skip?

Pray tell, is that you?

Huh?

Oh, hi!

You are my soulmates!

No.

We just built a rocket ship to

Go to the universe.

And we brought this to fix

It.

There's no need to fix it

Now.

You guys are in space suits, and

You engineered a finely-crafted

Space rocket ingeniously made

Out of...

Biodegradable material!

It wasn't the universe that was

Wrong.

It was me!

Oh, this is so exciting!

This means we can travel space

As a cosmic trio.

That is if there's space for me

On your rocket.

There should be a hole in the

Back.

And here.

You'll need this.

It will keep you warm.

All right!

Let's go!

Come on!

We're wasting time.

Ok.

Hurry.

Hop on.

Hey, skip.

Yeah?

I forgot the wrench.

Yeah?

Do you think we should get

It?

Yeah.

This is going to be the

Greatest moment of my life.

Wahoo!

Oh.

Thank goodness that's over.

No no no!

No no no!

Aah!

What's it doing now?

Second-stage clusters.

Remember?

Oh, yeah.

[Screaming]

Godspeed, space blazer.

Oh.

She is one brave aquanaut.

Yeah.

Aah!

Are you my soulmate?

No, I'm your brother.

Oh.

This universe is so confusing.

So, ha ha.

Would you care to grab a seat?

Ugh.

Maybe you would like to start

With an after-dinner mint.

Wet wipes, anyone?

How about some light romantic

Conversation?


[Trumpeting]

Attention campers.

Attention campers.

It's time for "camp lazlo."

♪ There were 2 scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then the trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[Yodeling]

[Shatter]

And welcome one and all to

The most sophisticated day here

At camp kidney.

We are here in the food chalet

To partake in the annual coed

Checkers tournament where

Manners and maturity are the

Norm.

Uh, excuse me, mr. Slinkman?

Yes, player lazlo?

Would it be bad manners to

Ask why you're dressed in a bad

Toupee and mustache and using a

Funny accent?

Commence checkers.

After you.

I insist.

No, after you, my dear.

I say, good show, madam.

King me!

Ha!

[Laughing]

Will you please keep it down?

I'm trying to concentrate on

These games.

Yeesh!

Now, edward, I realize you

Are in last place.

Thanks for reminding me.

Consider yourself warned.

And you're welcome.

It's your move, edward.

[Making fun]

Ha.

Victory at last.

Meep meep.

Earth to edward.

Come in, edward.

It's your turn, buddy.

You know what I like about

Checkers?

It's not about who wins or

Loses.

King me!

It's about having fun.

[Groaning]

Oh, I hate this stupid game.

Aah!

Oh, now you've done it.

You've just bought yourself a

One-way ticket out of here,

Buster.

Fine!

I don't need this.

Grr, checkers.

Pst.

Hey, little guy.

It's me.

Over here.

Chef mcnusely.

Ok?

So, what do you want?

I heard you got yourself a

Temper ticket.

A what?

Oh.

Uh, yeah.

Well, when a camper such as

Yourself is struggling with

Their more abrasive feelings,

They send them to me.

What are you gonna do?

Cook for me?

Just think of me as your new

Friend here to help you with

Your little problem.

Problem?

I ain't got no problem!

Ha ha.

Oh, I know, tough guy.

Come with me.

You know, I used to be a lot

Like you.

You used to be a platypus?

Ah, here we are.

Huh?

I never noticed that thing

Before.

Welcome to the temper

Tee pee.

Check it out, buddy.

Wow.

This is quite a pad you got

Here.

Not too shabby, mr. M.

But what's it all for?

Funny you should ask.

This is where scouts some when

They're upset.

I'm not upset!

I know.

I know.

[Bleating]

Ok, now.

Have a seat, amigo.

Hello.

Where are the chairs?

Right here.

Oh.

Comfortable?

Ehhh...ok.

Now, eddie, we're gonna play

A little game.

I'm gonna say a word, and you

Just say the first word that

Comes to mind.

Here we go.

Camp kidney.

It's all right, I guess.

We got stupid games and the food

Stinks, and--

Uh-uh.

One-word replies.

Oh, gotcha.

Uh-uh.

Does this--

Uh.

What do you want?

One-word replies.

I ain't--

Uh-uh.

I don't need-

Uh.

Fine!

Hugs.

Spite.

Camp buyers?

Anxiety.

Sing-a-longs.

Depression.

Oh, um, edward, you--

Loser.

No, I mean you're--

A loser at checkers!

Checkers, checkers, checkers!

Ah, now we're getting

Somewhere.

Ok, edward.

I'd like you to say hello to

Checkers the bear.

He had to be called checkers?

Hello, edward.

I want you to take all that

Pent-up frustration and let me

Have it.

Nah.

What did you ever do to me?

I'm checkers!

Argh!

Come on!

Punch me!

Grr.

What's the matter, edward?

Can't handle being shown-up by a

Little checkers?

Oh, now you're asking for it,

Air bear.

Get ready to pop!

Tee-hee.

That tickles.

[Groaning]

[Screaming]

Whoo.

Edward?

How...

Do you feel?

I...

I...

Well, actually, I feel happy.

Congratulations, edward.

I dub thee little happy rock.

I'm happy.

You gotta be kidding me!

You heard me, young lady.

You march yourself to the temper

Tee pee this instant.

And I don't want to see you come

Out of there without proper

Checkers etiquette.

Om.

Om.

Om.

Ok, what am I looking at?

Welcome.

Little happy rock and I were

Just finishing our daily

Affirmation.

Daily affliction?

I got an affliction for you, and

His name's lazlo.

That annoying monkey doesn't

Know squat about checkers.

Happy big rock, I feel that

Little alligator is emanating

Negative energy.

Wise perception, little happy

Rock.

Now, do you think there is

Something that we may offer her

To help illuminate her path?

Well, perhaps we could

Invite her to join our bean bag

Shitaqua.

Indeed, little happy rock.

Indeed.

Little alligator, will you

Join us?

Will you?

Leave me alone.

Hand's off, rock freak.

Easy now, slugger.

We're all friends here in the

Tee pee.

Now, I'm gonna say a word, and

You say the first word that--

Baloney.

Sandwich.

Ah-ha, wait.

Lame.

No.

Yes.

Stop.

Why?

Look, I'm asking the

Questions--

Who?

Me!

Angry big rock is more like

It.

Happy big rock?

Um, ahem, right.

Perhaps we should move along.

Oh, great angry one.

Yeah, what do you want?

We've got something to show

You.

Thrill me.

♪ If you're happy

And you know it

Clap your hands

If you're happy

And you know it

Clap your hands ♪

♪ If you're happy

And you know it ♪

♪ Then your hands

Will surely show it ♪

♪ If you're happy

And you know it

Clap your-- ♪

Stop it!

Group hug!

Argh!

You stole my happy.

You're gonna pay for that,

Sister!

Now, now, edward.

Remember your happy place.

Children, children!

Oh, now hold on there.

Whoa, what's going on here?

What happened?

[Chattering]

All righty, then.

Who's ready to play a friendly

Little game of checkers?

Gretchen, edward.

I won't play her.

And I won't play him.

You're not playing against

Each other.

We're not?

You're going to play together

Against someone who truly

Understands the spirit of the

Game.

No!

Lazlo here plays checkers

Just to have fun.

Hey, guys.

Put her there.

[Groaning]

All righty.

Who's ready to have some fun?

We are!

You start, lazlo.

Hmm.

Watch and learn, young ones.

Eenie, meenie--

Just look at that

Concentration.

Mo!

Incredible.

[Chattering]

Ok, kiddos.

We can do this.

Grrr.

You're good.

Time to unleash my secret

Weapon.

Let's see here.

This is it.

The moment of truth.

Time to find your happy place.

Find your happy place, and

You'll never lose in life.

That's right.

[Chanting, "happy place."]

You can do it!

You go, girl.

Come on!

You can do it.

Look!

They found it!

I think they did it.

King me.

It really worked!

Looks like my work here is

Done.

[Chattering]

Mr. Mcnusely, what do you

Think their happy place looks

Like?

Their happy place, little

Monkey, is for their eyes only.

♪ If you're happy

And you know it--

So, ha ha.

Would you care to grab a seat?

Ugh.

Maybe you would like to start

With an after-dinner mint.

Wet wipes, anyone?

How about some light romantic

Conversation?