03x09 - Tusk Wizard/Squirrel Scout Slinkman

[bunniefuu]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





Ah.

Peace, love, and understanding.

Ah.

Peace, love, and understanding.

[Rooster crows]

Wow!

What a great dream!

Ah!

The sounds of early morning.

Clam drooling on floorboards...

Raj weeping in the corner.

[Sobbing]

What's wrong, raj?

Did you have another dream about

Poachers?

No, lazlo!

Much worse.

See for yourself!

Oh, my gosh!

I'm beautiful!

Not that!

This!

One of my baby tusks is loose.

That's wonderful news, raj!

It means you're blossoming into

A young adult...

Right before our very eyes.

But the tusk wizard doesn't

Know I'm at camp.

Tusk wizard?

Please explain.

Well, whenever a young

Elephant loses his baby tusk,

He places it under his pillow

Before going to sleep.

During the night, he is visited

By the magical tusk wizard.

The tusk wizard collects the

Baby tusk and replaces it with a

Shiny new quarter.

Then he flies away on his

Magical tusk brush.

Wow!

A quarter!

No!

Don't you get it?!

There's not going to be any

Quarter because I'm not at home!

I'm at summer camp!

Well, maybe your tusk won't

Fall out until you get home.

That's a great idea.

Nobody touch my tusk.

From now on, no touching,

No poking, and absolutely

No wiggling.

Hey, raj!

Hello!

What are you having for

Lunch?

I'm having mashed potatoes,

Chocolate pudding, tomato soup,

And water.

Keep eating like that and

You'll never lose that tusk.

Hey, raj.

You want my corn on the cob?

Ok.

Raj, no!

[Crunch]

Aagh!

Aagh!

Aagh!

Oh!

[Humming]

Where are you going, raj?

I'm hitchhiking to india.

Because of the tusk wizard?

But what if he knows you're at

Camp?

Shouldn't you trust the tusk

Wizard?

Well, he is a wizard.

Maybe he will come.

I bet he does.

Aar-aar-aar-aar-aar!

Well, did he come?

Did he come?

There is only one way to

Find out?

Aagh!

It doesn't matter what I eat

Now.

I could even eat this metal

Tray.

Raj, don't eat that metal

Tray.

You're better than that.

Maybe it takes the tusk wizard

Two nights.

One night to check your home,

Then he comes here tonight.

Yes.

That makes sense.

He's coming tonight!

He's coming tonight!

Aar-aar-aar-aar-aar!

[Coughing]

Go ahead, raj.

Aagh!

Wait, raj!

Maybe it takes 3 days.

Did you ever think about that?



Maybe he'll come tonight, raj.

All right, look:

If he doesn't come tonight,

I'll go with you to india

Tomorrow.

Well, i...

I could use a traveling

Companion.

Hmm.

Maybe you're right.

♪ The tusk wizard's coming

Tonight

The tusk wizard's coming tonight

The tusk wizard... ♪

Hee hee hee hee.

Clam, I don't think the tusk

Wizard's coming at all.

He's gonna be devastated

Tomorrow.

Unless...

I slip a quarter under his

Pillow tonight.

What if he wakes up?

Hmm.

All right.

Raj is asleep.

Did you put the dummies in our

Beds?

We have names, you know?

Huh?

Oh, my goodness!

You're here!

You're actually here!

Yes!

Uh...

It is me, all right.

And this is my associate--

The flying tusk brush.

Uh...

Hi.

Anywhoodles, we should be

Running along now.

Don't forget to floss

And all that.

Oh, mr. Tusk wizard, I know

You're busy, but would you like

To hang out for a bit and play

Some games?

Uh...

Play some games?

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

Aagh!

Ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Hee hee.

Ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha!

Ha.

Morning, raj.

That's the smile of an elephant

That's met the tusk wizard.

He was even more captivating

Than I'd hoped.

And his tusk brush sidekick--

Charming.

That's great, raj.

No, it isn't!

I have glimpsed paradise,

And I will not be complete until

I see the tusk wizard again!

And I won't see the tusk wizard

Until my other tusk falls out.

I'm afraid it's bad news...

Healthiest tooth I've ever seen.

How long have I got?

A decade.

Maybe two.

No, that tusk is in there pretty

Good.

Gah!

I can't wait that long!

I'm sorry.

I hate this part of the job.

Are you sure there isn't

Another option?

Oh, look!

Someone dropped a quarter.

Oh, ow, oof!

[Groans]

[Sobs]

I'll never see the tusk wizard

Again!

Won't somebody pull my tusk out

For me?!

Twist my arm.

It's really quite simple.

Chip ties one end of a string to

Slinkman's tail.

The other end is tied to that

Tusk of yours.

When skip works his magic on his

Trumpet, out comes the tusk.

Are you sure it will work?

Every see a startled

Bana slug run?

Let us begin.

[Toot]

Aagh!

Aagh!

[Screaming]

Aagh!

Uncomfortable!

I know.

But it's raj's last baby tusk.

We won't have to do this ever

Again.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hee hee hee!

Ah ha ha!

[Sobbing]

Look, clam.

Raj is crying for joy.

Ptui!

These tears aren't sweet.

They're bitter.

Didn't the tusk wizard visit you

Last night?

It was glorious.

He filled my spirit with the

Warmth of a billion suns.

Ha ha ha!

That's great, raj!

No, it isn't!

What is wrong with this picture?

Your obsession with the tusk

Wizard?

I have no more tusks to lose!

Oh!

I'll never see the tusk wizard

Or his charismatic tusk brush

Ever again!

[Sobs]

So what if your out of tusks.

You don't need the tusk wizard,

Raj.

The 3 of us can have fun on our

Own.

Watch those tusks!

Sorry!

Uh, harold, isn't it?

Uh--

Harold, when are you and I

Finally going to sit down and

Chew the fat?

Uh...

Well, i--

I don't know.

After lunch behind the

Boathouse?

Great!

See you then!

You're hanging with raj now!

You just jumped a whole

Level!

[Humming]

Going somewhere, raj?

Fishing with harold!

[Humming]

What's the bone saw for?

Fishing!

[Humming]

I don't know, clam.

He really likes the tusk wizard.

I hope he doesn't do anything

Weird.

Not exactly chatty,

Are you, harold?

Uh...

My name's not harold.

Did you say something?

Doesn't matter.

I'm just happy to be here.

Do it.

Or you'll never see the

Tusk wizard again!

Oh, but harold is nice.

How's he going to feel walking

Around camp with just one tusk?

Better take both of them.

Huh?

Oh!

I got a nibble!

It's a big one!

Ok, get ready to use this!

Here it comes!

Don't do it, raj!

There's something you should

Know!

It was us the whole time, buddy.

I was the tusk wizard.

Do you hate us, raj?

Hate you?

Oh, an elephant could not ask

For two better friends.

And I get to hang with you

Whenever I want!

Say, can--

Can I get some of that?

Well, I guess I should give

You back that dollar you put

Under my pillow.

What dollar.

We only gave you 50 cents.

[Elephant trumpets]

[Engine revs]

Yep.

Just keeps getting weirder.





Why don't we start with a

Shampoo?

Aagh!

Aagh!

Hot, hot, hot!

Hot!







[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪


Slinkman!

Have you seen my scoutmaster

Hat?

Ahem!

Give me that!

The big hat is for the

Scoutmaster!

Play dress-up all you want,

Slinkman.

You'll never have what it takes

To be a scoutmaster.

Oh, yeah?

Well, jane doe has asked me to

Run acorn flats while she's

Away, which, ipso facto, makes

Me a scoutmaster for the next

Few days.

Well, I got news for you,

Ipso facto, you're gonna

Ipso failo.

Ha ha ha ha.

[Grunts]

Oh, we will really miss you.

Bye, ms. Mucus!

Bye, ms. Doe!

Oh, now don't worry.

Ms. Mucus and I will only be

Away for two nights.

Oh, ha ha ha.

Oopsie daisies!

I almost forgot to tell you

Kiddies...

That while I'm gone,

Mr. Slinkman of the bean scouts

Will be in charge of acorn

Flats.

How about that?!

Arrivederci, my little love

Bugs.

Toodle-oodle-oodles for now!

Mr. Slinkman?

A bean scout?

We hate bean scouts.

Good morning, squirrel

Scouts!

I'm proud to be here.

And don't worry.

I know your little girl muscles

And delicate bone structure

Can't handle the stuff boys do.

[Growling]

I wish jane doe was back

Already.

Don't worry, squirrels.

Once this bean scout sees how

Much trouble we are, jane doe

Will have to come back tonight.

Ok, squirrels,

Why don't we take roll call.

This will help me learn your

Names.

Sure thing, scoutmaster

Slinkman.

Here's the roll call sheet.

Oh, wonderful.

Anita life.

Hee hee hee hee!

What do you say?

Anita life?

You sure do!

Ha ha ha ha.

Ok.

How about eileen tothelef--

Left?

Then try your right!

Say!

Wait a minute!

[Laughter]

Oh, you squirrels.

Ha ha ha.

Ok, never mind roll call.

Let's just start the day.

[Whistle toots]

Ok, girls.

A fun game of tennis.

Patsy, why don't you serve.

Um, we don't have a ball.

Oh, come now.

There has to be a ball around

Here somewhere.

I see one!

[Grunting]

[Cheering]

Oh, ow!

[Grunting]

Stop!

Way to keep your eye on the

Ball, mr. Slinkman.

Ha.

Scoutmaster lumpus?

Well, if it isn't

Mr. Ipso-dipso scoutmaster

Slinkman.

What's the matter?

Girls have your den mother skirt

In a twist?

Oh, I don't know what's the

Matter with me.

Sir, nothing I do seems to work.

They don't listen to me.

I never thought I'd be asking

You this, but do you have any

Words of advice?

Let's see...

Words of advice,

Words of advice...

Advice.

Oh, yes.

Care less and be indifferent.

Open hostility is good, too.

And remember the scoutmaster

Motto: it's not fair, but I

Don't care.

That can't be right, sir.

That's terrible advice.

Yeah, slinkman.

It's not fair, but I don't care.

Oh, I don't know.

Scoutmaster lumpus' philosophy

Can't be right.

There must be something the

Girls will respond to that I'm

Not getting.

[Cat meows]

Hmm.

[Giggling]

Good morning, ladies.

I had it all wrong yesterday.

I see now that the squirrel

Scouts are more about lipstick

And makeovers.

You're right.

We are all about makeovers.

In fact, why don't we do one

Now?!

Uh, sir?

Aagh!

The girls just refused to

Listen to me.

Slinkman, what have they done

To you?!

That is you, isn't it, slinkman?

Sir, it's no use.

I'm just a plaything to those

Squirrel scouts.

Slinkman, you can't let them

Do this.

Command respect like I do.

And don't forget the motto:

It's not fair, but I don't care!

Sir, I'm just having a hard

Time believing that.

Yeah, yeah.

Believe what you want, toots.

Hey, you look good in pink.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

[Owl hooting]

Locked.

Oh!

Keys, keys, keys.

Oh!

Darn these pocketless women's

Clothes!

Now where am I gonna sleep?

Ms. Mucus is a real authority

Nut.

Hmm.

[Chuckles]

Yeah, give it to 'em, mucus.

Those girls need a good kick in

The--

Hey.

That's it.

Line 'em up.

[Whistle toots]

Ten-hut!

You mademoiselles have had it

Soft and easy here up till now!

I'm gonna have to break your

Spirits and rebuild you!

To that end, I have constructed

A soul-crushing obstacle course.

Duck tubes, stair-climb, may

Pole, and ding-ding, ring the

Bell.

Now, now, don't worry.

I wouldn't ask a scout to do

Something I couldn't do.

But, mr. Slinkman, acorn

Flats already has an obstacle

Course.

We built it last night.

Sorry we didn't have time to

Make it harder.

But, of course, you wouldn't ask

A scout to do something you

Couldn't do, right?

[Cheering]

Aagh!

[Roaring]

Aagh!

Aagh!

Oh!

Ow!

Oof!

Aagh!

Oof!

Aagh!

[Screaming]

Aagh!

Ooh!

That's it!

I'm through!

Oh, I'm a failure as a

Scoutmaster!

[Sobbing]

No, don't look at me.

I'm ugly!

[Sobbing]

I don't know about you girls,

But I'm feeling a little

Crummy about how we treated

Mr. Slinkman.

Yeah.

I think we hurt his feelings.

Bean scouts don't have

Feelings, remember?

Oh!

All right.

Maybe we owe the slug an

Apology.

Attention, squirrel scouts of

Acorn flats.

This is scoutmaster slinkman

Announcing that today is leave

Your scoutmaster alone day.

Have a happy.

[Opera playing]

Ah.

Dreams of a squirrel-free

Summer.

Um.

Scoutmaster slinkman?

Leave your scoutmaster alone.

But I made you some brownies.

It's just may way of saying...

Sorry.

[Burps]

Now leave your scoutmaster

Alone.

Scoutmaster slinkman,

Is there anything I could get

For you?

Yeah, alligator shoes.

Scoutmaster slinkman?

Oh, what is it now?!

What, what, what?!

With your permission, sir,

May I paddle to the middle of

The lake?

Oh.

Excellent idea.

As a matter of fact, I want

Every squirrel scout in camp to

Get into that boat--

On the double!

Is everybody present?!

Present.

How about anita life, huh?

I sure hope she's present.

Well, I won't want to keep you

Waiting.

It's a long trip to the middle

Of the lake.

But, mr. Slinkman, we don't

Have a paddle.

It's not fair, but I don't

Care.

Talk to the bullhorn.

Well, squirrel scouts,

I guess we deserved this.

This is an emergency

Announcement from the weather

Center.

A severe hailstorm will be

Hitting in the vicinity of acorn

Flats right about now.

Ow!

What the bull moose?!

What?

Giant hailstorm?

[Gasps]

I--i...

I've become lumpus!

[Screaming]

Help!

Help!

Oh, the squirrels!

I'm coming squirrel sco--

[Glub, glub]

[Screaming]

[Gasps]

[Birds chirping]

Oh, no!

Mr. Slinkman!

Scoutmaster slinkman!

Can you talk to me?!

Tell me--

[Coughs]

Who do I look like?

You look like...

Our hero!

Hurray for scoutmaster

Slinkman--the greatest

Scoutmaster ever!

Oowooga!

Oowooga!

Ha ha!

Yoo-hoo!

Squirrels!

Oh!

We're back!

Oh, ha ha!

Hello?!

Ha ha.

Where's mr. Slinkman?

Hmm?

Probably torn to shreds by

The squirrels.

Go, slinkman!

Go, slinkman!

Go, slinkman!

Go, slinkman!

Go, slinkman!

Go, slinkman!

Go, me.

Go faster.

Go, me.

Go faster.

Go, scoutmaster!

Why don't we start with a

Shampoo?

Aagh!

Aagh!

Hot, hot, hot!

Hot!

[Screaming]