03x12 - The Bean Tree/Taking Care of Gretchen

[bunniefuu]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





Aah!

Sunny moose retirement village.

You just sit back, relax,

And do nothing.

Who wants cake?!

I didn't order a cake.

But, sir,

It's your birthday.

[Scoffs]

I haven't had a birthday in 15

Years.

I'm like, uh...



35, 62...

Aagh!

You are not 29, sir.

You're old.

Old?!

[Grumbling]

I am not--

Aagh!

Old?

Slinkman, it's time.

You want your cake now, sir?

No.

I mean it's time, slinkman.

Time to move beyond the

Restrictive borders of camp

Kidney.

Slinkman,

I'm retiring.

Retiring to where, sir?

To sunny moose retirement

Village to do what I have put

Off for far too long, slinkman--

Nothing.

But, sir, isn't that

What you usually--

It's time to hand the reins

Over, slinkman.

Behold!

The cherished camp kidney family

Tree.

When the big bean who founded

This camp retired, he passed it

Down to his son goober.

Yes, I know the story, sir.

And then he passed it down to

His son uh, de--jerry.

Jebediah, sir.

Oh, well, whatever.

And then he passed it down to

His son who squandered his

Inheritance.

Tisk, tisk.

And that's when my grandfather

Earned his rightful chair at

Camp kidney--legally, I remind

You.

And he passed it to my dad,

Who gave it to me--who, with the

Deepest love and devotion, shall

Bequeath camp kidney to my son.

[Gasps]

Slinkman, I don't have a son!

My branch is barren!

[Sobbing]

Knock, knock!

Anyone home?

[Humming]

♪ Happy birthday today

Happy birthday,

Scoutmaster lumpus!

Where's my forefathers?!

I brought you a birthday

Present.

...fields were aplenty...

Uh, lazlo, now is not the

Right time.

Oh, um...

Well, I'll just leave it here

Then.

My grandfather had 16

Children to choose from.

And my dad was blessed enough to

Have yours truly.

But i--i don't--

Hey.

I don't know why I never saw

That before.

Lazlo.

Lazlo is my son?

Uh, wait a minute, sir.

He just bought you a gift, sir,

And hung--

A gift from the heavens!

Lazlo is my son, slinkman.

What?!

Yes, it is true, lazlo.

You're dear old dad has decided

It's time to retire.

He wants to pass the torch.

All of this...

Is now yours.

Wow!

Who would have thought my dad

Owned all of camp kidney?!

You really are the greatest dad

In the whole wide world.

Now, now,

Spare me the waterworks.

Right now it is my duty to

Reveal to you what being

Scoutmaster of glorious

Camp kidney is all about.

It's about sharing the great

Wonder of nature with the ones

You love.

What?

No, don't be ridiculous.

[Revving]

It's about confiscating

Everything in sight and calling

It yours!

Sir.

Help me strap this to the

Car, will you, son?

Well, scouts, I guess this is

It.

Now, I know some of you may find

It difficult to say good-bye.

Good-bye!

Oh, I said it!

Now that wasn't so bad.

Good-bye!

Ciao, bella!

Good-bye!

Take care!

May the road rise

To meet you!

All right!

That's enough!

Stupid...

[Grumbling]

Stop in the name of

Camp kidney!

Out of my way, slinky.

Aren't you forgetting

Something?

Oh!

What would I do without you,

My little retirement assistant?

You can't do this to me.

I certainly can't fit you in

The car with all my stuff.

This stuff is property of

Camp kidney, including me.

Well, isn't this a rotten

Deal?

But if I don't get it, then who

Does?

Scoutmaster lazlo reporting

For duty.

I've always wanted to wear this!

Ha ha.

Hee hee!

Ha ha ha!

I don't look like that.

For my first order of

Business, I declare today is

Everybody's birthday!

[Cheering]

Birthday marshmallow roast at

The flagpole in 20 minutes,

Campers.

Whoo-hoo!

All right!

Happy birthday, skip.

Happy birthday, chip.

Go ahead.

I don't care about all that.

I am a retiring grownup.

Pthbbbt!

Attention, civilian.

Step up to the gate please.

Gate?

Funny.

I don't remember that being

Here.

Approach the window.

What's that?

Everything you originally

Entered camp kidney with--

One standard issue bean scout

Uniform, 68 cents change, and a

Half-eaten chocolate bar.

Gah!

Bean scout uniform.

Like I need that old thing.

Why, I've never been so

Humiliated in all my life.

Your bus to sunny moose will

Be here shortly.

We hope you have enjoyed your

Stay at camp kidney.

What's camp kidney?

I've forgotten it already.

Huh.

[Cheering]

Look at that.

Fresh as a pine tree.

Uh, scoutmaster lazlo,

I just wanted to remind you that

Your marshmallow roast will be

Ready soon.

Edward volunteered to organize

The kindling gathering.

That's it.

Just throw lumpus' desk on top

Of his marlin.

Slinkman, slinkman, slinkman,

We've been through a lot

Together, haven't we?

Oh, yes, sir.

You mean a lot to me,

Slinkman.

I can tell, sir.

Oh, yeah.

Any minute now, the last bus to

Mooseville will be here to

Finally sweep me away to a life

Of leisure.

Hey, my bass eliminator!

Careful with that!

Pizza, french fries.

Pizza, french fries.

Hey, samson, do me a favor,

Will you?

How do you know my name?

What?!

Hello, earth to samson,

It's me, scoutmaster lumpus.

But...

But lazlo's my scoutmaster.

Now, look, fur ball, i--

Help!

Stranger at the gate!

[Gasping]

[Screaming]

This is absurd!

Wait a minute.

What are they laughing at?

They're laughing at me, aren't

They?!

Aw, come on, slinkman.

No, stop.

Just one more hug.

Planned it.

They planned it this way all

Along.

The monkey and slug meant to

Swindle my camp from me.

If that's the way you want it,

You can have your lousy

Monkey-slug camp 'cause I've got

Sunny moose!

...on top of the dining room

Set.

Did you hear something?

Sounded like some kind of

Lunatic stranger.

Scoutmaster lazlo,

There's a lunatic stranger at

The gate.

That's right, I got

Sunny moose, baby!

[Honk, honk]

[Groaning]

Algonquin c. Lumpus?

Coming?

Where do you want this

Bedroom furniture of that moose

Guy that I vaguely rember?

Throw it on top of the

Dining room set.

Hustle with those moose guy

Appliances.

We're getting close to ignition.

How we doing on the

Marshmallows, mr. Slinkman?

I just can't get them to stay

On the sticks right.

Here.

Let me show you.

[Grunting]

Like this.

You made it look so easy,

Scoutmaster lazlo--

The way you stuck it to that

Sucker.

The key is to stick 'em in

The back.

You mean when they're not

Looking?

Ha ha ha ha.

Aagh, no!

Not in the back!

Aagh!

There you go!

That's it!

You got me!

That's enough!

Mr. Lumpus?

[Panting]

Oh, don't you mr. Lumpus me!

You've come back to visit,

Haven't you?!

Come back to find my own son

Sticking me in the back.

And on the way, he stopped by

Here to visit with us!

How sweet!

Uh, no.

Actually, I think--

Oh, before I forget,

I need to get something for you.

Don't go anywhere.

What happened to sunny moose,

Sir?

Traitor.

Hey, edward!

Have you seen that picture

I gave to mr. Lumpus for his

Birthday?

Dave!

Oh, thanks.

Gosh, mr. Lumpus,

It really is nice to see you

Again.

Wearing my hat.

I mean, how long has

It been since he's been gone,

Mr. Slinkman?

20 Minutes now, sir.

Here you go.

Eating my confiscated

Marshmallows.

I forgot to give it to you

Before you left.

Sitting on my chair.

You using this?

No, go ahead.

All right, people!

On my cue!

Anyway, you take care,

And say hi to your son.

And now you have the nerve to

Give me this!

[Sobbing]

Why did you do it to me, lazlo?!

You're my very own son!

My own son!

[Sobbing]

Mr. Slinkman?

Yes, sir?

Why does mr. Lumpus think I'm

His son and is now crying

Hysterically?

You hung your picture on his

Family tree, rember?

Oh.

So, he's not here to visit his

Son?

No, sir.

And my own dad didn't leave

Me camp kidney.

Uh-uh.

Mr. Lumpus...

I'm not really your son.

I accidentally hung my picture

On your family tree.

Ha ha ha.

Whoops!

You mean camp kidney,

It's still mine?

I don't have to retire?

That's right, sir.

Welcome back.

I don't have to go to

Sunny moose!

I'm still scoutmaster

Of camp kidney--

5, 4, 3, Two, one!

[Boom]

[Cheering]

Yeah, baby!

Scoutmaster lazlo?

Oh, hi, raj.

Um...

My cabin is on fire.

I'm not the scoutmaster

Anymore.

Mr. Lumpus isn't retiring.

He's scoutmaster again.

Oh.

Scoutmaster lumpus,

My cabin's on fire.

[Bells ringing]

Scoutmaster lumpus,

There is fire on your shoe.

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]





[Jingling]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]







[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for "camp lazlo!"

♪ There were two scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside down-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪





Mine's the best.

No, mine is the best.

Oh, yeah?!

Yeah!

Listen, platypus,

Frostbite pops are the best,

And you know it!

If you brought your head out

Of the swamp, you would know

That sputnik cosmo pops are



Garbage on a stick!

Chill pops!

Cosmo pops!

Isn't it great how gretchen

And edward debate every time we

Get a visit from the ice cream

Truck?

Really great.

Dumb argument.

She starts in on it every

Time.

You started, bean brain.

Guys, guys!

Every tongue is different.

That's no reason to fight.

It seems to me that the only way

To solve this is with a race.

Ha!

A race!

That's a laugh.

I'd whip her in a second.

Ooh!

You're so sure about that, are

You, sput-nut?!

Then it's settled!

The first one to the flagpole

Wins.

Ready...

Set...

Go!

Are you sure gretchen didn't

Think you said north pole?

'Cause the flagpole is that way!

In you face, you dumb

Alligator!

I knew sputnik cosmo pops were

The best ever!

Whoo!

I'll go get gretchen.

Hi, grandma.

I knew that dumb platypus

Couldn't keep up with me.

Ha ha ha ha ha--

Oof!

[Laughter]

Here, gretchen.

I think you need these more than

I do.

[Laughter]

There you are, gretchen.

You are super fast.

I didn't think I'd ever catch

Up.

[Laughter]

Hey, guys!

What are we all laughing at?

[Laughter]

This would be way funnier if

I knew what we were laughing at!

Ha ha!

Lazlo!

I'm gonna get you if it's the

Last thing I do.

You're gonna get me?

What does that mean?

Oh, I wouldn't want to ruin

The surprise.

[Grunts]

Wait for us, gretchen.

Raj, what just happened?

I believe that gretchen is

Going to...

Get you.

It can't be that bad.

Ha ha ha ha.

Have you forgotten the last

Camper gretchen got?

And the one before that was even

Worse.

That's terrible!

You have to help me!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I think that you are forgetting

The last time someone tried to

Protect somebody from gretchen.

I am afraid you are on you own,

My friend.

Oh, no.

Psst!

Over here!

Who's there?

[Whirring]

Samson?

What are you doing here?

Shh!

I heard about your problem,

And I can help.

I know someone who can take care

Of gretchen.

Really?!

Well, how thorough is this

Someone?

I don't know.

How afraid of her are you?

Let's just say I want to get

Her the v.i.p. Treatment.

Ha ha ha.

I heard she was just gonna get

You, but she won't be able to

After she gets v.i.p. Treatment.

That makes me feel so much

Better!

So, when are you gonna do it?

Oh, I won't be doing the job.

Then who will?

Trust me, you don't want

To know.

[Whirring]

How do you do that?

I don't know.

See you, samson.

Hey, raj.

Hey, clam.

Hi, lazlo.

Uh...

How are you feeling?

Never better.

This has to be one of the best

Days ever.

Um, lazlo?

Yes, raj?

You know that I am the last

Elephant to go sticking my trunk

In other people's business,

But you seem so upbeat.

Ha ha ha ha.

Are you not even a little

Worried that gretchen is going

To get you?

Get you?

Oh, I don't have to worry

About her anymore.

Why?

Samson's getting someone to

Take care of gretchen for me.

Take care of her?

Explain.

Somebody goes over to acorn

Flats, talks to her, washes her

Hair.

You know, takes care of her.

She'll get so overwhelmed by all

That pampering she'll forget all

About ever wanting to get me.

That is genius!

Genius!

I wish someone would take

Care of me.

If you play your cards right,

As soon as samson's done taking

Care of gretchen, I might just

Get him to take care of you,

Too.

Oh, lazlo, you are a true

Friend.

Uh...

Clam?

Did you want to be taken care

Of, too?

Pamper.

I thought so.

I know samson said he couldn't

Tell me who he was using.

[Gasps]

There he is.

Wait.

Samson wouldn't use--

[Screams]

He would!

No one in their right mind would

Suspect chip and skip.

I bet they're gonna take care of

Gretchen right after breakfast.

And I think I'll follow them

When they leave just to make

Sure.

[Toilet flushes]

Why do the new toilet paper

Holders look like lazlo?

That one looks like a cloud,

See?

Which one?

That one.

Why are they taking so long?

Maybe they just need some

Taking-care-of tools before they

Can see gretchen.

This should do the trick--

A deluxe spa basket.

Now it's only a matter of time.

Huh?

[Squirt, squirt]

You're prettier.

No, you are.

Wait.

You want to go skip around camp?

Yes.

[Giggling]

Don't they know that

Gretchen's gonna get me if they

Don't take care of her soon?!

[Clamoring]

Lazlo, can you pass the

Popcorn?

I thought you weren't worried

About gretchen getting you

Anymore.

Samson hired chip and skip to

Take care of gretchen, and

They're taking a long time.

[Gulp]

Well, uh...

Um...

Have you noticed that chip and

Skip aren't here?

I bet they're taking care of

Gretchen as we speak.

You're right, raj.

Ah-choo!

Here.

Try this vanilla perfume.

Ah-choo!

Vanilla make me sneeze, too.

Here.

Try the cherry.

They're supposed to be

Helping me,

Not watching some movie called--

Say, what's this movie called

Anyway?

"Taking care of frankie

Salvatore and his entire family

Organization."

A film about taking care of

People.

Ooh!

They must be here to take notes.

[Munching]

Very clever, boys.

I guess we are supposed to

Eat this lipstick stuff.

[Fanfare]

It's starting!

Jimmy!

Hey, tony!

Oh, they kissed each other on

The cheeks.

So caring!

Jimmy, we appreciate what you

Do for this family.

I love family films.

Hey, frankie salvatore,

It's me--jimmy!

The family sent me to take care

Of you.

Note pad or pen, anyone?

No, please, jimmy,

Give me another chance.

I'll do anything.

Sorry, frankie.

It's time for you to be taken

Care of.

[Chainsaw revving]

Well, that takes care of him.

I don't want to be taken care

Of anymore.

Huh?!

How about you take care

Of this?!

[Screaming]

No, no, no!

Aagh!

Psst, samson!

Remember our little agreement we

Made today?

Shh!

Hold on!

This is my favorite part.

Well, hows about I take care

Of your entire town?!

[expl*si*n]

You have to call it off!

You can't let this happen to

Gretchen!

I can't stop it now.

The wheels are in motion.

In fact, the job's being done as

We speak.

That's impossible!

The dung beetles are sitting

Right there!

Some more hairspray?

Sure!

That's a good look for you.

I didn't use them.

♪ I feel pretty

But I saw you hand

The dung beetles instructions,

And you shook on it.

No!

I traded them my front row

Tickets to tonight's movie for

This exercise video "buns of

Rock."

This isn't happening!

Fine.

Gretchen!

Gretchen, you're in danger!

Where are you?!

"Everyone: please join the

Faculty for spaghetti night!"

"Mess hall closed for spaghetti

Night."

Where else would they have

Spaghetti?!

[Ruckus noise]

What's that?

Al cazones spaghetti hideout.

I didn't know this was here.

[Singing "vesti la giubba"]

They have a sad singing

Clown.

Gretchen?!

Where is she?!

Aah!

There she is.

Phew!

Nothing bad can happen to her in

A public place.

Waiter, I'll have a water...

On the rocks.

What's he doing here?!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

Oh, I'm overreacting.

Let's face it.

Edward couldn't hurt a fly.

[Watch beeps]

Heh heh heh.

Have your last meatball,

Swamp rat.

[Gasps]

Gretchen, look out!

Gretchen!

No!

Oof!

You imbecile!

How's the t-shirt cannon

Supposed to do it's job if

You're jumping in front of it?!

"I am a jerk."

You sure are!

In fact, you look so ridiculous

In that shirt, I'm not gonna get

You anymore.

You've already been gotten!

[Laughs]

Gee, thanks, gretchen!

That was meant for you,

Crocodile!

He took the hit for you!

Don't you have any gratitude?!

I can't believe I missed movie

Night for this.

[Bell jingles]

I'm just glad no one got

Hurt.

[Clang]

I'm hurt!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

[Jingling]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]

Phew!

[Gasps]