04x07 - Dungs in Candyland/Tour Wars

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

Edward: ooh, they're in for

It now.

Slinkman: I am ashamed of you

Two.

You know having candy is against

Camp rules.

And if lumpus ever found candy

On the premises...

Lumpus: I said no candy in

Camp, you worm!

Slinkman: I mean, look at

This stuff -- fizzy sticks,

Bubble gum, lollipops, taffy,

Pure cane sugar, and --

Sugar-coated bacon?

Skip: ah!

Slinkman: dah!

This is what I'm talking about.

No self-discipline.

It's times like these I wish I

Could take old spankful out of

Retirement.

But at least I have

Old shredful.

[ Both sob ]

Edward: that's it.

We're doomed.

Lazlo: don't worry, edward.

It's not the end of the world.

Edward: not the end of the

World?

Those were the last pieces of

Candy in the entire camp!

Raj: without chip and skip,

The whole camp will be dry by

Snack time!

What will we do?

Yeah.

How will we get our sugar?

Hey, guys, I have an idea.

[ All murmuring ]

Um, um, um, um, edward?

I-i have an idea.

Edward? Edward? Edward?

Edward? Edward?

Wanna hear my idea?

Wanna? Wanna? Wanna?

Wanna? Wanna?

It's a good idea, edward.

Edward?

Edward: samson?!

What do you want?!

What?!

What?!

Can't you see we're busy over

Here?

We got to come up with...

Ohh, forget them.

Itwas a good idea, samson.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, my little bean chemistry

Set.

At first I thought this idea

Would be impossible.

I mean [chuckles] using my

Chemistry set to make candy?

It just sounds so absurd.

But then it occurred to me.

If I can get lucian to grow six

Times his size with just a cup

Of water, then I'm sure I could

Make a piece of candy.

[ Humming contentedly ]

It's working!

[ Laughing maniacally ]

[ Rumbling ]

Hey, guys.

Lazlo: oh, hi, samson.

Raj: how can you be so happy

When there's no candy in camp?

What if I told youi had some

Candy?

Raj: oh, stop your fibbing,

Samson.

I'd give my entire record

Collection for just one piece.

But we all know slinkman

Shredded the last of the candy.

That was before I made all of

This!

Oh, it's real, all right.

Raj: [ grunting ]

Here! Here! Take it!

Unh-unh-unh-unh!

Only one piece.

Raj: but I gave you my entire

Record collection.

Only one piece per trade.

Raj: fine!

Clam: abacus?

Lazlo: my harmonica?

Skip: my firstborn son.

I'll give you my medicine!

O-o-h, y-yeah.

Yeah! I won!

[ Laughs ]

In your face, ping pong!

Oh, yeah, I won!

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

Ahem?

Oh [chuckles] here you are.

Thanks.

Boy, who knew making candy

Could be so lucrative?

Next stop -- cool town.

Toot, toot!

Both: hey, samson.

Oh, uh, hi, chip.

Hi, skip.

What you doing in the garbage?

Chip: looking for you.

Skip: yep. We want candy.

Chip: we'll do anything.

Sorry, guys, but I really

Don't think you have anything I

Want.

Skip: wait right here.

I can iron your clothes.

Chip: I can brush your teeth.

No, leave me alone!

Aah-ha-ha-ha!

Skip: samson, we just want

Some candy!

Chip: we'll do anything!

[ Panting ]

Dave! Ping pong!

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

I need your help to get out of

Here safely.

Chip: samson?

Phew!

We made it.

Take me somewhere safe.

Anyplace in particular, sir?

The showers.

Chip and skip wouldn't be caught

Dead in there.

Both: samson?

Samson?

Samson?

Sam...son?

Chip: what is this stuff?

Skip: I don't know.

Touch it.

Chip:you touch it.

Skip: no, you touch it first.

Chip: hey, my face tastes

Like candy.

Skip: I want my face to taste

Like candy, too.

[ Both laughing ]

[ Dolphin chittering ]

[ Laughter continues ]

Chip: do you see what I see?

Skip: I see it, but I don't

Believe it.

Chip: I think we just made

Candy.

I call dibs on this one!

Skip: well, then I call dibs

On that one.

Chip: hey, now how are we

Gonna tell whose is whose?

Skip: I don't know.

They look exactly the same.

Chip: I know.

There.

This one's mine, and that one's

Yours.

Skip: okay.

Let's take them back to the

Cabin in my candy holder.

Uh-oh.

We're gonna need a bigger candy

Holder.

Slinkman: no more games,

Milt.

Where did you get this, huh?

Tell me, milt!

What would your father say if he

Knew you had candy?

I don't know!

Slinkman: neither do i.

Hello, milt sr.?

Yes, I have your son here in my

Office.

It would seem...

All right!

All right, I'll tell you!

I'll tell you!

Slinkman: it would seem your

Son is doing very well here at

Camp kidney.

Okay, milt, tell me everything.

Thanks for the ride, skinny.

Why don't you go buy yourself

Something nice?

Thank you, sir.

Ahh...

Aah!

Look at this mess!

Somebody's been messing with my

Chemistry set!

Ohh, when I find out who did

This, I'm gonna...

Hey, I don't rember making

Candy that big.

[ Gasps ]

Wait a minute.

Chip and skip!

They changed themselves into

Huge pieces of candy!

And withmy chemistry set!

This is bad.

This is very, very bad.

I'll get lazlo.

He'll know what to do.

Hold tight, chip and skip!

We'll get you guys changed back

In no t-- aah!

Slinkman: the jig is up,

Samson.

Milt told me everything.

Now, get out of my way.

But -- but -- but --

Slinkman: I know you've got

Candy, and I'm shredding it.

No, y-you don't understand.

This isn't candy.

I-it's chip and skip!

Slinkman: oh, you don't say?

I've had enough of your

"Stories."

I'm shredding this candy, and

That's final.

No!

Slinkman: I'm gonna need a

Bigger shredder.

Ah, here it is...

Yes, hello.

I'd like to order the mega-ultra

Super de-lux shredder.

Yes, same-day delivery would be

Just perfect.

Oh, no!

What am I gonna do?

The only way slinkman will

Believe the candy is chip and

Skip is if I change them back

Before they get shredded.

Got to hurry, got to hurry, got

To hurry, got to hurry, got to

Hurry!

Hey, samson, want to hang?

That'd be cool.

Got to save chip and skip!

If I make the candy formula in

Reverse, I should be able to

Reanimate chip and skip back

Into their normal selves.

Delivery for slinkman.

Slinkman: oh, this thing sure

Has a lot of parts.

Focus, samson.

You've got time.

Slinkman: I wonder what this

Piece does.

[ Panting franticly ]

[ Chain saw buzzing ]

Easy, now...

Almost...

I hope this test works.

Come on.

Please work.

Please!

Ew! Stink! What the --

Slinkman: all right.

Let's see if this thing actually

Works.

Close enough.

Hold on, chip and skip!

I'm coming to save you!

Slinkman: now, how do I turn

This thing on?

I only got one shot at this.

Make it count!

Slinkman: oh, here's how you

Start it.

[ Gasps ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Oven dings ]

Slinkman: man, that thing

Works great.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I vaporized chip and skip!

Both: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Their entrails are speaking

To me!

Slinkman: ha ha.

Nice try, samson.

Your dung buddies just blew your

Story.

Both: [ cheering ]

Slinkman: next time you try

Making candy, samson, I'm

Calling your parents.

I'm sure they would ground you

For the rest of your life.

Chip and skip, get back here!

There better not be any candy in

That pumpkin!

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Oven dings ]

Both: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Their entrails are speaking

To me!

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

Lazlo: come on, pitcher,

Pitcher, pitcher, pitcher.

Let's see what you got.

Bring it.

Raj: oh, you'll see, all

Right.

Lazlo: whoo!

Another home run!

Yeah!

Send in another one, raj.

Raj: you know, lazlo, I don't

Think a rowboat is really the

Best place to play baseball.

Lazlo: yeah, I guess you're

Right.

Raj: when we paddled out at



Clam: yeah. Deliver.

Raj: be our tour guide to

Fun.

Clam: tour guide!

Lazlo: a tour guide?

Hey, that's a great idea.

We'll use this boat to give

Tours of leakey lake.

We're so busy playing in camp

That the beauty of leakey lake

Goes so underappreciated.

If we give a tour, we can share

The beauty of leakey lake with

All our fellow campers.

Clam, I'm making you the

Official tour-guide guide 'cause

You're so good with words.

Clam: uh, so good.

Lazlo: raj can be the snacks

Guy.

Raj: I like snacks.

What guy are you going to be?

Lazlo: duh.

I'm gonna be the motor by

Kicking my legs and making a

Noise with my mouth like this...

[ Imitating motor ]

Raj: [ laughs ]

Oh, this is going to be great,

Lazlo.

Lazlo: now all we need are

Some customers.

Ahoy, fellow campers.

When you step onto a leakey-lake

Boat tour, you step into high

Quality.

[ All groaning ]

Edward: everyone but me, and

You can count me out!

Lazlo: actually, edward,

You're not tall enough to take

Our tour.

Edward: what?!

[ Laughter and taunting ]

Argh!

Am I tall enough now?

Lazlo: well, uh...

Edward: move over, bear.

I'm sitting next to chip and

Skip.

All right, lazlo.

Let's get the show on the road!

Lazlo: [ imitating motor ]

Clam: a mountain.

All: ooh...

Clam: the tree.

All: ahh...

Clam: ooh, ooh! Rock.

All: ooh...

Lazlo: if you listen closely,

You can hear the rock growing.

I hear it.

I really think I hear it.

Edward: oh, this is so

Boring!

These stupid jellies should go

Back to tour school.

Right, skip and chip?

Skip: [ laughs ]

He pointed at a tree, and then

There was one!

Raj: snacks!

Get your red-hot snacky-snacks!

Clam: rocks!

Trees!

Bushes!

Lazlo: thanks for coming.

[ Both laughing ]

Skip: that tree stump was

Awesome.

Excellent tour, lazlo.

Can't wait to do it again.

Lazlo: thanks.

Oh, hey, edward.

Did you enjoy the tour?

Edward: oh, yeah, about that.

Thank you for showing me hownot

To conduct a tour.

[ Laughing ]

Raj: wow.

That was not very nice.

Lazlo: I don't know.

Hedid thank us.

I'd bet if we do a good enough

Job tomorrow, we could actually

Get him to like it.

[ Rooster crows ]

I told you missing a night of

Sleep would be worth it.

Early bird gets the worm, right?

Raj: [ weakly ] ah, ha, ha.

All: [ weakly ] ah, ha, ha.

Lazlo: all righty!

[ Fireworks launching ]

All: "get ready...

For edward's...

Spectacular...

Leakey...

Lake...

Tour..."

Edward: ...extravaganza!

[ Motor revs ]

Now, let's take this tour, baby!

[ All cheering ]

Next stop -- a tour that kicks

Lazlo's tour in the stomach and

Then laughs in its face.

[ All cheering ]

Raj: lazlo, I think we just

Lost our tour business.

Lazlo: nonsense, raj.

Edward offered them variety.

[ Cheering and laughter ]

Raj: you're not helping.

I still feel depressed.

Lazlo: everybody needs

Variety, raj.

In fact, I bet when they get

Back, they'll hop right back on

Our tour for a nice change of

Pace.

That was amazing.

Skip: I can't believe I even

Went on lazlo's tour.

Chip: who's lazlo?

From now on, I am only going

On edward's tour!

Edward: hey, lazlo, I'd like

To give you a ride on my tour

Boat, but I bet you're too busy

With all the customers you have.

[ Laughing ]

Raj: okay.

I am totally depressed now.

Lazlo: there's only one thing

To do at a time like this.

Raj: what?

Lazlo: 1...2...3...

Positivity!

Yay!

I feel much better now!

Raj: lazlo, I appreciate your

Optimism, but no one in their

Right mind would ever go on our

Tour again.

Clam: uh, my nose hurts.

Lazlo: don't worry, guys.

Why don't we just take edward's

Tour?

I hear it's "magical."

Edward: all aboard!

Raj: I'm not going on his

Tour.

He stole our business.

Clam: thief!

Lazlo: I know, guys.

It's not healthy to hold

Grudges.

And besides, edward is just way

Better than us at giving tours.

The sooner we accept that, the

Sooner we can focus on our true

Calling -- being tourists.

So, what do you say?

You want to go on edward's tour?

All right. Suit yourselves.

Wait up, edward!

I want to ride!

Edward: well, look who it is.

Hey, lazlo, what's orange,

Unemployed, and needs an oil

Change?

You!

[ Laughter ]

Lazlo: uh, thanks, I guess.

Edward: now, let's take this

Tour, baby!

Raj: we don't need customers

To give tours -- or lazlo.

[ Motor sputters ]

Edward: nobody panic, but I

Hope I can fix this engine

Before the scary lake fog

Devours us.

This is my favorite part of

The tour.

Lazlo: hey, edward, I'll fix

It.

Edward: lazlo, sit down!

Lazlo: but I'm fixing your

Engine.

Edward: this is part of the

Tour, dummy.

You're ruining it!

Lazlo: so your engine is not

Really broken?

Edward: duh!

It's a device that professional

Tour guides use to create

Suspense.

Now, sit down!

All: sit down! Sit down!

Lazlo: sorry. Pardon me.

Don't mind me.

That's right.

Just pretend I'm not even here.

Edward: now, where was i?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, the engine's out, and

We're being consumed by a

Mysterious mist cloud.

Leakey-lake legend has it that

The --

Lazlo: edward, is this part

Of the tour, too?

Edward: pipe it, lazlo!

Now, legend has it that the m--

Lazlo: how did you make all

This mist, edward?

Do you have a fog machine?

Edward: shut it!

Lazlo: oh, look, we're out

Of the mist.

All: quiet!

Edward: legend has it that

The mist is haunted by

Head-snatching spirits, and it

Looks like they got me!

Lazlo: aah!

Edward: gotcha!

Just a little tour-guide humor

For you.

Lazlo: [ laughing ]

Whoo!

Oh, phew!

That was a great joke, edward.

If lazlo ruins one more

Thing, so help me...

[ Engine turns over ]

Edward: oh, no, folks.

Looks like I made a wrong turn

Into pitch-black darkness.

Hope I can find my way out

Before the abominable cave

Monster gets us.

Lazlo: does this help,

Edward?

Look, everyone.

It's a big, mechanical monster.

That's it!

Let me at him!

Let me at him!

No, man, look at me.

It's not worth it.

Come on.

Let's just bail.

Edward: phew! We made it.

That was a lot of excitement

Back there.

Well, it was supposed to be.

We now have reached the safest

Part of the tour.

[ Roaring monotonously ]

Oh, no, I spoke to soon.

Lazlo: don't worry, edward.

I'll protect the boat.

Wow, that was close.

Your tour almost got ruined by

That goofy-looking robot

Monster.

Oh, man!

Edward: for those of you

Still on the boat, if you listen

Closely, you can hear the

Sound --

Lazlo: hear it!

I can totally hear the rock

Growing.

We're supposed to hear the

Mermaids singing, you twit!

Man, I'm out of here.

Skip: yeah, me, too.

[ All shouting ]

I can't even swim, and I'm

Going!

Lazlo: hey, where is everyone

Going?

The tour is not over yet!

Oh, well.

More for us.

[ Bell rings ]

Oh, my gosh!

Is this pirate ship part of the

Tour, too?

Clam: rocks.

Trees.

Harold.

Got any open seats on your

Tour?

Clam: sure.

Raj: clam, looks like the

Jellies' leakey-lake tours are

Back in business.

Whoo-hoo!

Lazlo: [ laughing ]

Edward: I can't take it

Anymore!

I'm so glad I had this

Installed -- the annoying

Tourist escape button.

Let's press this button, baby!

Lazlo: wow, edward is

Pretending to abandon ship.

This tour just keeps getting

More and more amazing!

Edward: move over, bear.

I'm sitting next to chip and

Skip.

Step on it, snacky trunks.

Raj: yes, sir!

[ Imitating motor ]

Lazlo: I love edward's tour!

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Oven dings ]

Both: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Their entrails are speaking

To me!