04x10 - Friendward/Camp Dinkey

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

[ Tchaikovsky's "dance of the

Reed pipes" plays ]

Lazlo: friendship.

Both: friendship.

[ Audience "aah"s ]

Slinkman: well done, jellies.

Splendid interpretation of

Friendship, wasn't it, scouts?

[ Cheers and applause ]

Edward: that was a joke.

What do you call that garbage,

Anyways, interpretive dance or

Something?

Well, actually, yes, that's

Exactly what it is.

Edward: well, I don't care

What it is, 'cause I'm gonna win

This thing tonight.

Can you feel it?

Slinkman: next up is edward.

Let's have a big hand for

Edward.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Edward: I'm up!

Don't worry about saving my

Seat, 'cause I'll be sitting in

The winners' circle after this.

All right, everybody.

Let me hear some chanting, huh?

Come on, edward!

Come on, edward!

Edward!

[ Silence ]

All right, that's enough.

You're embarrassing yourselves.

And now feast your eyes on the

Most amazing display you'll see

All evening.

Hit it, cheesecake!

[ Grunts ]

Edward: ta-da!

Slinkman: edward, what does

This have to do with tonight's

Event?

Edward: "french ship."

It's a "french ship."

Can't you read?

While all of you were off busy

Dancing and showing off sissy

Flowers, I was building the real

Thing here -- an exact replica

Of a 1914 french warship, yeah!

And it comes with usable

Cannons.

Show them, deckhand!

[ Whistle blows ]

Oui, oui, cap-i-tan.

Slinkman: um, edward, it's

Not"french ship."

It's"friend ship."

Edward: friend?

Friend.

Friend.

Oh, friend!

Right, of course!

Use it in a sentence.

Slinkman: edward, this is

Rather awkward, but do you know

What a friend is?

Edward: don't be silly!

Friend, as in big, medieval

Monster that devours villages.

That's afiend.

[ Laughter ]

We'd tell you, but that's

What dictionaries are for.

How ridiculous!

Edward: where is it, where is

It, where is it?

Ah, here it is -- my reading

Glasses.

C, d, e, f, friction, friday,

Friend.

Like...

Like, like, like, like.

Oh, like.

"Being fond of -- enjoy."

Hmm, let's see.

Who will my friends be?

Ah, the jellies!

I know them!

But I don'tlike them.

Not friends.

Skip: hey, edward, uh, when

You finish talking to yourself,

You want to go play?

Edward: all right, I admit

It -- I have no friends.

But if there's one thing my

Mother taught me, that's how to

Win!

Time to win me some friends.

Hooah!

Then we'll see who's laughing.

Who is it?

Edward: edward.

I already gave you my lunch

Money.

Edward: no, I'm here to be

Friends!

Is this edward from camp

Kidney?

Edward: what are you building

There, samson?

I built a bio-dome so I can

Breathe better.

Edward: well, then, why don't

You poke a hole in it and let

Some fresh air in?

Now, doesn't that feel better?

I liked it better when you

Just wanted lunch money.

Edward: hey, guys, what do

You got there?

Indigenous pretzels from our

Homeland.

Yeah, we get them once a

Year.

Edward: I want to be your

Friend!

Well, I guess we could share.

Would you like to try some?

Edward: would i?!

[ Chomping ]

Hey, these are good!

Really good!

I didn't know being friends

Tasted so good.

[ Gasps ]

Uh-oh.

Hey, wait, where are you going?

Wait for me, friends!

I saved you a few licks.

Your strides are longer than

Mine.

I can hardly keep up!

This friend stuff is harder than

I thought.

[ Gasps ]

Hey, beaver!

[ Gasping ]

Aah!

[ Grunting ]

Edward: aah!

Why did you run from me, beaver?

I thought you were gonna hurt

Me.

Edward: oh, beaver.

[ Laughs ]

No, I just wanted to see if you

Wanted to be best friends.

Friends?

Edward: hey, beaver, mind if

I call you "beavy"?

You like "beavy," don't you?

Well, actually, my name's not

Beaver just because I am a

Beaver.

That doesn't m--

Edward: quiet, beavy, you

Talk too much!

Let's do something manly

Together, like touching muscles.

You know, I think I need

To --

Edward: come on!

Here, touch my muscle.

Yeah, you feel those g*ns?

Pretty big, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

Edward: here, let me touch

Yours.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, my gosh.

Mine's so much bigger.

Ooh, let's see whose hands are

Bigger.

No, don't look.

I'll tell you whose is bigger.

Yep, mine's bigger.

So, what do you say?

You want to be friends?

I...guess so.

[ Cheerful music plays ]

[ Cheerful music continues ]

Edward: well, that was --

Was...

Fun?

Edward: yeah, that's it --

Fun!

I had fun today!

Yeah.

[ Laughs weakly ]

Edward: so, do you want to

Hang out tomorrow, beavy?

Uh, sure, I guess.

Edward: [ thinking ]yes,

Yes, yes!

Wow!

Okay, edward, play it cool.

Don't let beavy know how bad

You want to be his friend.

Cool.

And maybe we could wear this

T-shirt tomorrow.

Does that shirt have two neck

Holes?

Edward: yeah.

I didn't have enough money to

Buy two, so I figured we could

Just share.

[ Laughs weakly ]

Uh...sure.

See you tomorrow, edward.

Edward: see you, too, beavy!

See you, too!

Is this what friendship feels

Like?

I had no idea.

And this whole time I thought

Making enemies was the way to

Go.

[ Laughs ]

Friendship.

This is so exciting.

In 12 hours, I'll be hanging out

With...myfriend.

[ Snoring ]

[ Rooster crows ]

[ Alarm rings ]

Beaver!

[ Panting ]

He's my friend.

Hey, buddy, are you ready for

The best day ever?

Uh, yeah, I really don't know

How to say this.

Edward: edward and beaver,

Partners in crime.

[ Chuckles weakly ]

Right.

Edward: whoo!

Whoo.

Listen, edward, I think I'm

Gonna hang out with someone else

Today.

Edward: who-- wait.

What?

Sorry, edward, I can't hang

Out with you anymore.

I made a new friend.

Who's that?

Just some guy.

Edward: aaaah!

[ Grumbling ]

Oh, hey, beaver.

Oh, what's that?

You don't want to hang out with

Me?

Aaah!

Well, maybe I don't want to hang

Out with you!

How do you like that, huh?!

[ Sobbing ]

Hold on, edward.

The beaver is just playing a

Joke on you.

Yeah, a joke.

Yeah, friends do that to each

Other all the time.

[ Laughs ]

Huh?

Both: ♪ la-la-la

La-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

Edward: okay, now I'm

Depressed.

[ "Swing low, sweet chariot"

Plays ]

This is stupid.

I don't need you, beaver.

And I don't need friends.

Lazlo: hey, edward, you'll

Never guess what we just found.

Edward: I don't care.

Both: we just found

Mcmuesli's secret onion patch.

Clam: onion patch.

Edward: ohh!

Why does your breath smell so

Bad?

Both: because we ate all the

Onions!

Clam: onions!

Edward: ew!

Please take my gum.

Lazlo: gee, thanks, friend.

Edward: friend?

So, we're friends?

Lazlo: of course!

Friend.

Edward: want to build a dam?

Lazlo: we could build a dam.

Or...we could play bad-breath

Zombie instead.

Want to play?

Edward: yeah!

All: [ moaning ]

Edward: yuck!

[ Sighs ]

What have I done?!

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

[ Watch ticking ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Whistle blows ]

♪ Take trash, trashman ♪

♪ sh**t it into space ♪

♪ Make it disappear and put a

Smile on my face! ♪

♪ Yeah, trashman ♪

♪ Go, trashman ♪

♪ Uh-huh. Trash ya ♪

He's the trash--

[ Crying ]

You're out here every trash day

Making fun of me!

No, seriously, i-i just hate

Trash so much --

I had dreams once, too, you

Know.

Get me out of here, ralph.

[ Tires screech ]

What is this?

Where did this come from?

"Come to camp dinkey.

A camp made just for you!"

A camp made just forme?

I've never had anything just for

Me.

I don't even know how to imagine

That.

But here it goes.

[ Giggling ]

Hello, sanitized nature.

Hey, there, allergy-free flower.

[ Sniffs ]

Ahh.

All: oh, no!

[ Gasping ]

Wh-what's wrong?!

Edward: that speck of dirt

Just fell from the sky!

Save us, samson!

Not a problem.

All: yay!

Whoo-hoo!

[ Screaming ]

Oh, man.

Exposure, exposure.

Exposure, exposure.

No, no, no, don't!

Now, let that be a lesson to

Us all.

We'll thaw him out when we find

A cure for dirt.

But until that day, stay in your

Bubble, and dirt's no trouble.

All: yay!

[ Car horn honks ]

Gross!

This would never happen at camp

Dinkey!

Raj: [ humming ]

What is this?

Who in their right mind would

Put up a billboard right in the

Middle of -- ooh.

Camp dinkey?

A camp made just for me?

It's about time!

Let's see, of course, there will

Have to be music.

So, so, so I said, "if those

Aren't feathers, who laid the

Egg?"

[ Laughter ]

Okay, interview's over.

Mr. Raj, these guys say they

Know you.

Buti've never seen them before.

Raj: it's okay.

Let them in.

Lazlo: the club raj mahal is

The hippest place in camp

Dinkey.

We baked you a friendship muffin

To celebrate.

Raj: ooh.

I'll put it over there next to

My other gifts.

Okay, guys, I'm on in five.

See you at the after-party.

All: [ chanting ] raj! Raj!

[ Gasping ]

Raj: are you ready for this?!

[ Cheering ]

[ Dance music plays ]

...fantasy, wrong fantasy,

Wrong fantasy!

I like mine better!

Lazlo: friendship hug.

Where you been, buddy?

Raj: [ gasps ]

Camp dinkey.

Lazlo: what's camp dinkey?

Raj: read for yourself.

Lazlo: hmm.

A camp made just for me?

What wouldthat be like?

It could beanything I want.

It could have a sign, a

Flagpole, a mess hall, a bunch

Of cool campers.

And the best part of all -- a

Scoutmaster!

Lumpus: lazlo!

It's bad enough I got to spend

Reality with you.

Leave me out of your twisted

Fantasies.

Lazlo: camp dinkey's awesome!

We got to tell clam about camp

Dinkey.

Clam: camp what?

Lazlo: read for yourself,

Buddy.

Clam: mutter, mutter, mutter,

Camp dinkey!

Hello, clam.

Clam: hello.

Welcome camp dinkey.

Clam: just for me.

What clam want to do?

Clam: clam don't know.

"Don't know."

Clam: no one ever ask clam.

No one?

Clam: clam misunderstood.

Camp dinkey understand.

Clam want to play?

Clam: okay!

Clam want be scoutmaster?

Clam: okay!

Clam want food?

Clam: okay!

Clam want drink?

Clam want bread?

Clam want play game?

Clam: okay!

Clam want fire?

Clam: okay!

Camp dinkey sure likes you.

Clam: clam like camp dinkey.

Lazlo: we like it, too,

Buddy.

Raj: yep.

It's a pretty cool place.

Both: [ laughing ]

[ Babbling ]

Skip: oh, rabbit doesn't want

To play.

Chip: what's that?

It looks like it says something.

Hmm.

We el cow mi toe.

Skip: ma di juice for yow.

It says, "welcome to camp

Dinkey.

A camp made just for you!"

Chip: a camp made just for

Us?

Skip: let's go.

Chip: okay.

Skip: where are we?

Chip: let's ask them.

Skip: we don't know.

Chip: ask them.

Skip: we don't know, either.

Chip: make it stop!

Skip: who's doing this to us?

You are, lads!

This is your fantasy cam, where

Whatever you imagine comes true!

So hop aboard and let's see

Where your imagination takes us.

[ Laughing ]

What would you like to

Imagine first?

Baby cow whispers or candy-cane

Pencils?

State income taxes or rusty

Utensils?

Leather upholstery or lug nuts

With cheese?

You can imagine whatever you

Please.

Chip: I like camp dinkey.

[ Squawking ]

Both: slow down, rabbit!

Slow down!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Both: bad rabbit!

Bad rabbit!

Skip: slow down, rabbit!

Slow do--

Chip: it was all just a

Dream?

Both: [ laughing ]

Edward: what's the big laugh?

[ Screaming ]

Edward: when did this get

Here?

A camp made just for me.

Now,that's an idea.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Attention, dinkey campers,

Edward has something to say.

[ Feedback ]

Now that my dung army is

Complete, I promise to keep camp

Dinkey safe.

All I ask is that you surrender

All your candy to me.

[ Slurps ]

Immediately!

That's not fair!

Oh, man.

[ Cheering ]

Edward: I'm not to be

Disturbed.

Right.

Edward: mommy!

Eddie-poo.

Edward: mommy, do the campers

Love edward?

Oh, of course they do,

Sweetie.

Edward: does mommy love

Edward?

Um, yes, m-mommy loves edward

Very much.

Edward: edward loves you,

Too.

[ Smooching ]

Lazlo: pass the salt.

[ Grunting ]

This camp's filthy!

I want to be clean!

Raj: I want to be famous!

Clam: I want to be

Understood.

Baby cow whispers!

Camp dinkey's got it all!

Let's go to camp dinkey!

All: yeah!

[ Tires screech ]

Hey, kid, thank you.

You made me quit the garbage

Business, and now I got my dream

Job -- fixing billboards that

Are spelled wrong.

Sometimes the thing you want the

Most is right in front of you.

Let's go, ralph!

Camp dinkey is really camp

Kidney?

[ Murmuring ]

Lazlo: come on, fellas.

All this time we've been

Imaging the coolest camp

Possible, but maybe it's been

Camp kidney all along.

[ All talking ]

Edward: let's face it.

There's nothing cool about camp

Kidney.

All: whoo!