04x13 - Camp Complain/The Engagement

[bunniefuu]

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

Slinkman: okay, okay, one at

A time.

All your complaints will be

Heard.

What's wrong, samson?

The sun is too bright.

Slinkman: oh.

Well, I'm not sure there's

Anything I can do about that.

Oh.

Slinkman: next.

Raj: this water tastes funny.

The sky is too blue.

The grass is too green.

[ Farts ]

Ew, he farted.

I tripped and got mud in my

Mouth.

[ All shouting ]

Slinkman: look, I'd love to

Keep fielding complaints,

Everyone, but I have to read the

Activities.

[ Shouting continues ]

Lazlo: so, what do you guys

Think slinkman wants to talk to

Us about?

Gee, I don't know.

It's a mystery.

Edward: as long as this isn't

About me forcing the sheep to

Eat mud -- which I didn't! --

Then I don't care what this is

About.

Slinkman: hey, fellas.

Edward: I didn't do anything!

Slinkman: okay.

The reason you're all here is to

Become cabin leaders.

[ All gasp ]

Edward: cabin leaders?

What do they do?

Slinkman: well, cabin leaders

Field all the complaints from

The campers in their cabins.

I know, isn't it great?

And here's the amazing part.

As cabin leaders, you get to

Sign a contract vowing never to

Complain again.

All: what?!

[ All shouting ]

Slinkman: hold on, hold on.

I haven't even showed you the

Perks of being a cabin leader.

Edward: what is it?

Slinkman: oh, it's your

Officers' lounge, of course.

All: officers' lounge?

Slinkman: come on, take a

Look.

Well, fellas, what do you think?

In addition to having exclusive

Use of this clubhouse, you'll

Also be able to wear these

Cabin-leader hats and special

Badges.

And...

[ Gasps ]

Is that a pinball machine?

[ All shouting ]

Whoa.

Edward: this is so cool.

Wait, it's only got one

Flipper.

Edward: that's part of the

Challenge, dummy.

Lazlo: well, what are we

Waiting for?

Press the start button.

Slinkman: hold on there,

Cowboys.

Lazlo: "standard no

Complaing contract."

Slinkman: it can all be yours

By just signing on the dotted

Line.

Edward: I got first game.

Lazlo: me, too.

[ Laughing ]

Slinkman: attention, campers.

Attention campers.

From now on, all complaints will

Be handled by your cabin

Leaders.

Cabin leaders?

What is he talking about?

Raj: did you know we had a

Cabin leader?

Clam: uh...no.

Raj: I don't get it.

This isn't logical.

Lazlo: hello, everyone.

Now, if you will all form a

Single-file line, we'll be happy

To take your complaints.

All: I'm first!

Me.

No, me.

Raj: lazlo, you have to help

Us.

There are big splinters in our

Cabin -- huge!

Clam: big splinters.

Lazlo: ha ha.

Uh...

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Edward: one at a time.

Honk.

I can't even tell what

You're saying.

Raj: mr. Lazlo.

Edward: officers, retreat!

Chip: hey!

Hey, wait.

Edward: worst job ever.

Lazlo: don't worry, we'll be

Safe in the clubhouse.

[ All panting ]

Edward: yeah!

Refreshments?

Edward: whoa!

That's what I'm talking

About.

Coming back here makes it all

Worthwhile.

Yeah, listening to complaints

Wasn't that bad.

Lazlo: I don't even rember

What they were complaining

About.

Edward: cheers to that.

[ Clink ]

[ Cheering ]

Hey, use the flipper.

Use the flipper.

[ Knock on door ]

I'll get it.

Raj: come out here and listen

To us.

[ Panting ]

Lazlo: who was it?

It's our cabin mates.

They want us to listen to them.

All: oh!

Edward: hey, I have an idea.

Why don't we just get it over

With and listen to them?

But that's gonna take

Forever.

Edward: no, it won't.

All we have to do is listen to

Their stupid complaints.

Nobody said we have to do

Anything about it.

Lazlo: wait, I got it.

We don't...

Edward: stop, lazlo, before

You hurt yourself.

I'll show you what I'm talking

About.

All right, listen up.

We're gonna take your complaints

Now, but we're only taking one

At a time.

So, let's start with, uh, you.

Yeah, you, elephant boy.

Get in here.

Okay, raj, lay it on me.

Raj: the floors in my cabin

Have way too many splinters, and

It's k*lling my feet.

Edward: [ laughs ]

That's hilarious.

Raj: but what about --

Edward: all right, who's got

The next one?

I'm not going twice in a row.

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Edward: wow.

I hear you.

I hear you.

Lazlo: ooh.

Yeah.

We did it!

We fielded all their stupid

Complaints.

All: we fielded all their

Stupid complaints.

Edward: wait, wait.

There's only one thing to do at

A time like this.

Pinball tournament!

[ Cheering ]

Raj: that is why we feel like

Nothing is getting resolved.

All they care about is playing

Their precious pinball in their

Fancy clubhouse.

Did anybody get taken seriously?

Clam: no.

All we got was a door slammed

In our face.

Raj: they get the cool

Officers' club, and what do we

Get?

Splinters in our feet!

I say we get them out of that

Crummy shack for good!

All: yeah!

Raj: okay, here's what we do.

[ Talking indistinctly ]

[ Cuckoo! Cuckoo! ]

Does it seem quiet to you?

Yeah.

Now that you mention it, it's

Almost lunch, and we haven't had

A single complaint.

Edward: hey, you're right.

You know what that means?

This job just got a whole lot

Easier.

[ Cheering ]

Hey, it's slinkman.

All: hi, slinkman.

Slinkman: hey, fellas.

How you enjoying the new job?

Edward: enjoying it?

We're loving it.

You got any more contracts?

'Cause I think I speak for all

Of us when I say we'll sign them

Right now.

[ Laughter ]

Slinkman: no, no, that's not

The reason I'm here.

I was just stopping by to see

What today's complaints are.

Lazlo: oh, well, actually,

There haven't been any

Complaints today.

Slinkman: no complaints?

Great, then you can pack up your

Things and leave.

Lazlo: huh?

Wait!

Uh, we're -- we're expecting

Some complaints, right, guys?

Yeah, complaints in an hour.

Edward: less than an hour,

Even.

Lazlo: yeah, don't shut down

The officers' club just yet.

Slinkman: well, I suppose if

You're expecting complaints...

Raj: not too many complaints

Today, huh?

[ Giggles ]

It's gonna be great when

Slinkman takes away their

Precious pinball.

Yeah, cutting them off from

Our complaing was a great

Idea, raj.

[ Laughter ]

Well, well, well, look who's

Here.

Edward: hey, fellas, you got

Any complaints?

Raj: oh, gee, no.

Everything is good.

Fine, fine.

Chip: good.

Skip: good.

Edward: you're good.

You're good. Oh, come on!

There's so much stuff to

Complain about.

There's no rope on the

Tetherball.

The drinking fountain doesn't

Have any water.

And, raj, your feet -- they're

Splinter ridden!

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.

Cabin leaders, huddle up!

I can't believe this.

They're not complaing on

Purpose.

Why would they do that?

Edward: don't you see?

They're jealous of our pinball.

Yeah, and our hats.

Edward: no, samson, they're

Not jealous of our hats.

Our badges?

Edward: stop talking.

Lazlo: what are we gonna do?

We can't make them complain.

Edward: oh, yes, we can.

Why are we unhinging all the

Doors?

Edward: have you ever opened

A door that's off its hinges?

Believe me, you would want to

Complain about it.

Goodbye, hot water.

Edward: so, now you got any

Complaints for us?

Raj: about what?

We've been sitting here the

Whole time.

Yeah.

We didn't even notice you were

Gone.

Edward: that's it!

I'm gonna...

Hey, everyone, slinkman's

Shutting down the cabin leader

Club.

Edward: what? No!

No, wait, it's not our fault!

Lazlo: yeah, they're not

Complaing on purpose.

Slinkman: unh-unh.

Remember, you can't complain.

You signed.

Oh, and I also have to take down

The clubhouse.

But, hey, on the bright side,

You can keep those hats and

Badges.

Ah.

Camp with no complaints.

My master plan worked

Beautifully.

Lumpus: slinkman!

Slinkman, I was trying to eat

Breakfast in my bed, but there's

No hot water, and there's worms

In my oatmeal, and then the door

Fell over.

And, slinkman, and, slinkman,

And, slinkman...

Now, gretchen, take

Margaret's head from your mouth

This instant.

Lumpus: hey, jane, I love...

I love...

[ Sneezes ]

Oh, thank you, algonquin.

Attention, campers.

It's time for camp lazlo.

♪ There were two scouts who

Made a friend ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L ♪

♪ A ♪

♪ Z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio went to

Camp ♪

♪ And turned it upside down-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

Chip: l-a-z-l-o.

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-ee ♪

[ Glass breaking ]

[ Timer rings ]

Oh, time to get engaged.

[ Humming ]

[ Humming continues ]

Well, that takes care of that.

Oh, I am just so excited.

I must absolutely call someone

And share my good news with a

Good friend.

Ooh, which friend should I call

First?

A friend.

Friend.

Well, here's a friend.

Algonquin.

Lumpus: huh?

Yes. Yes.

Of course.

See you then.

Toodle-oodle-oody.

[ Laughs ]

Slinkman!

Slinkman: yes, sir?

Lumpus: that was jane doe on

The phone, inviting me over to

Acorn flats for a visit.

Me, slinkman.

She invited me.

Slinkman: that's great news,

Sir.

Lumpus: obviously, my years

Of playing hard to get have

Finally paid off.

Slinkman: yes, sir,

Obviously, sir.

Lumpus: slinkman, you'd be

Wise to take a tip from a

Classic casanova like moi.

Slinkman: yes, sir.

I'm surprised it's taken her

This long to come around, sir.

Will you be needing limo service

To acorn flats, sir?

Lumpus: that would be fine,

Slinkman.

[ Knock on door ]

Coming!

[ Humming ]

Lumpus: hello, jane.

Algonquin.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Come on in.

[ Laughs ]

I'm so happy you're here.

Um, algonquin?

Lumpus: yes, jane?

I have something to tell you.

Lumpus: jane, I'm shocked.

I mean, everything's moving much

Faster than I expected.

Should I get down on my knees?

Um, sure, if you like.

Algonquin lumpus...

Lumpus: miss jane doe.

I am engaged...

Lumpus: yes, jane, I do, I

Do!

...to mayor pothole mcpucker.

Lumpus: a wise choice, my

Dear -- wait, what?!

[ Toilet flushes ]

Oh, there you are, pothole,

Sweetie.

Listen, potty, dear, I'd like

You to meet my good friend

Algonquin.

Just telling him the good news.

[ Farting ]

Lumpus: [ crying ]

Slinkman: sir, it's been

Three days now.

It's time to let go, sir.

Lumpus: [ crying continues ]

Thank you, slinky.

I'm good.

Slinkman: you're welcome,

Sir.

Lumpus: [ sobbing ]

Oh, slinkman, what am I gonna

Do?

Slinkman: sir, why don't you

Just tell her how you feel?

Lumpus: don't you think I

Tried, slinkman?

Slinkman: I suppose you're

Gonna have to accept the

Marriage, sir.

Lumpus: well, if I can't have

Her, he can't have her, either.

And I'll need some suckers to

Help me do that.

Lazlo: who can't have her,

Scoutmaster lumpus?

Raj: yes, and why are you

Telling us while hiding in the

Bush right next to jelly cabin?

Lumpus: [ crying ]

I am hiding here to hide my

Sorrow and anguish.

Dearest den mother doe is

Engaged to the honorable

Mayor mcpucker.

And to honor him, I wanted to

Get him something he likes.

But I can't do it alone.

Oh, boo hoo!

Lazlo: hey, why don't we help

You find the things the mayor

Likes?

Lumpus: really? That's great.

Come on.

[ Farting ]

[ Farting ]

Lumpus: [ laughing ]

Lazlo: scoutmaster lumpus,

Are you sure our presents to

Mayor pothole are a good idea?

Lumpus: why, sure.

Look how happy he is.

Did you guys change the mayor's

Dedication statue of jane to

Look really funny like I asked

You to?

Lazlo: we sure did,

Scoutmaster lumpus, because he

Loves a good joke.

Lumpus: right, right.

And so, it is with great

Pleasure that I now introduce

Your newest sweetheart, one that

Was inspired by a certain

Special someone.

Prickly pines, I give you

Goddess of leaky lake.

[ Crowd gasps ]

Is this supposed to be some

Kind of joke?

Now, wait a minute, dear.

Don't you "wait a minute" me,

You scoundrel.

No, jane!

Oh! Honey!

Lumpus: whoo-hoo!

Lazlo, you are a genius.

[ Laughs ]

My dear jane.

Stop, please.

It wasn't me.

Oh, really?

Lazlo: it was us, miss doe.

Surprise!

Raj: surprise!

Clam: ta-da!

Excuse me.

Did you say something, young man

Hiding in the planter?

Lazlo: it was us and good old

Scoutmaster lumpus here.

It was his idea.

So, it was you who put these

Nice boys up to these

Shenanigans.

Lumpus: ow.

Well, I have no idea why

You're acting like such a jerk,

But no matter, because I never

Want to see you ever again.

Come on, potty, dear.

Oh, and by the way, listen up,

'Cause you are uninvited to my

Acorn flats-camp kidney

Engagement party.

Lazlo: is there anything else

We can help you with,

Scoutmaster lumpus?

I own my own submarine.

How...nice.

Oh, boys, I'm so glad you made

It.

Edward: yeah, janie.

Well, you just watch the door

And make sure that despicable

Mr. Lumpus doesn't show up

Uninvited.

So, where are the hot babes?

Edward: you're not kidding,

Sammy boy.

I thought that chicks dig this.

Hold your horses, eduardo.

Check out that fine thing.

Whoa-h*-h*-h*-h*-h*!

Edward: now, that's a lady.

[ Sneezes ]

Hi.

I like your fragrance.

Makes my allergies flare up.

Lumpus: fresh!

Get lost, short stack.

I'm through with younger men.

So, you're already spoken

For.

I get it, sister.

Lumpus: [ sobs ]

Wait a minute.

You're not...with someone, are

You?

Lumpus: oh, what's the use?

What am I even doing here?

I get all gussied up to sneak

Into this joint just to be close

To the one I love, and for what?

[ Sobbing ]

You mean you're in love with

The one about to be married?

Are you telling me that your

True love is about to make a

Huge mistake because you didn't

Have the courage to say how you

Feel?

Lumpus: you know what?

I think you're right.

You know I'm right.

Lumpus: once and for all, I'm

Gonna tell that doe how I feel.

Uh-huh.

Lumpus: engaged or not

Engaged, algonquin lumpus is

Putting his heart on the line

Once and for all.

That's what I'm talk-- wait!

Who?

And then he drooled the

Cutest little bit of spit you

Ever did see.

And I said yes.

That's how it happened, right,

Potty, dear?

[ Burps, farts ]

Lumpus: ahem!

Yes?

Lumpus: I have something

That I want to say to you.

I'm sorry.

Lumpus: excuse me, but I'm

Talking.

[ Record scratches ]

I have been watching you, nay,

Admiring you from afar.

[ Crowd gasps ]

I have been trying to tell you

How I feel about you.

And now, here I stand, in front

Of everyone, exposed, revealed,

Vulnerable, to finally say I

Love you.

[ Gasps ]

Lazlo: hmm, is it just me or

Does she seem vaguely familiar?

Lumpus: well, so, what do you

Have to say to that?

I love you, too.

Huh?

I'm sorry, jane.

She's hot.

Lumpus: what? No!

Come to daddy, you beautiful

Thing!

Lumpus: aah!

Aaah!

[ All screaming ]

Oh, the horror!

Lumpus: aah!

Aaah!

Huh.

Well, this is inconvenient.

Who am I supposed to get engaged

To now?

I own my own submarine.

Well, how nice for you!

I mean, how nice for you.

So, tell me, cutie, does it

Have room for two?

It'll be a little tight, but

We can make do.

I tried to pick up

Scoutmaster lumpus.

Lazlo: ha ha yucka!

That's who it was.

[ Grunting ]

Now, gretchen, take

Margaret's head from your mouth

This instant.

Lumpus: hey, jane, I love...

I love...

[ Sneezes ]

Oh, thank you, algonquin.