01x10 - Lucy's Working Daughter

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-Starring Gale Gordon,

Lucie Arnaz and Desi Arnaz, Jr.

Oh, back from the
post office so soon?

Yes.

Good.

But I didn't get the stamps.

- You didn't get the stamps?
- No.

You see, when I -

And why didn't
you get the stamps?

Well, when I-

Were they too heavy
for you to carry?

Oh.

Didn't you like the pictures
of the president on them?

Did the colors clash with
the dress you're wearing?

Well, come on, tell me, tell me.

Well, for heaven's sake, if you
stop making up all those silly,

stupid reasons I'll tell you.

All right.

Tell me.

Well, I didn't remember whether you
wanted 29 $0.10 stamps or 10 $0.29 stamps.

And you said the reasons
I made up were stupid?

Well, I'm sorry. I forgot.

Anybody can forget.

I'm only human.

Oh, let's not start
any doubtful debates.

I wanted 29 $0.10 stamps.

Oh, good.

What's so good about it?

Well, the post office downstairs
doesn't have any $0.29 stamps.

In fact, when I asked the clerk for $0.29
stamps he looked at me like I was cuckoo.

No?

Yes.

So I said to him, "Listen"-

I am not interested.

Just go and get the stamps.

- Okay.
- Get the stamps.

- All right.
- That's all I want, the stamps.

Of course, if you really
want $0.29 stamps

I'll shop around at
another post office.

Unique Employment Agency,
Harrison Carter speaking.

Oh, hello, Miss Simpson.

Yes, I thought you'd be pleased.

Yes, I'm sure she'll make a
very satisfactory employee.

Thank you so much.

Goodbye.

Uncle Harry, I got it.

I got it.

I know, I know.

Miss Simpson just called me.

- Congratulations, dear.
- Thank you.

- Isn't that great?
- Great.

- And look.
- What?

Craig drove me over on his
motorbike to get my Social Security card.

My, your Social Security card.

I'll probably have to wait till
she's 65 to get paid for the gas.

Oh, no, you won't.

I'll pay you out of
my first week's salary.

I'm only kidding.

Yes. Of course you are, my boy.

Of course you are.

You don't think he'd take money
from his own flesh and blood, do you?

Uncle Harry, how
much will I get?

Eighteen dollars a week
plus 15 percent of your sales.

Oh, and how much will I
owe you for getting me the job?

Well, my commission on $18.00 -

Remember, she's your
flesh and blood, too.

Of course, my boy.

Well, since you're my niece
I'll forget my commission.

Oh, thanks, Uncle Harry.

Have you told Mom about my job?

No.

No, she's out.

I sent her to the post office.

How soon will she be back?

I wouldn't know.

Sending your mother on an errand is
like releasing a swallow from Capistrano.

Oh, wait till she sees
my Social Security card.

I'm number 554-60-0676.

Bingo.

Ha-ha.

Very good.

- Congratulations again.
- Thank you.

Well, here's the Pony Express.

Hi. What are you two doing here?

Have we got a surprise for you.

What?

Uncle Harry got me a job.

Oh, another call for
a babysitter come in?

No, this is a real
job, a salesgirl.

A salesgirl?

Yes. Isn't it exciting?

I'm 554-60-0676.

What's that?

My Social Security number.

Harry, how could
you do this to me?

Do what?

You've turned my
little girl into a zip code.

Oh, Mom, when are you going
to stop treating me like a baby?

Oh, Kim, I just don't think
you're ready for a job like this yet.

It's too mature.

After all, what do you
know about selling?

Mom, way back when
I was a Girl Scout I got

first prize for selling


But you sold them
to me, remember?

Yeah, and then Mom had to
go door to door selling them.

And she told them to me.

But I was just a kid then.

Well, if you're smart you'll
stay a kid as long as you can.

Responsibility comes
fast enough, dear.

Kids should have all the fun
they can as long as they can.

I'll buy that.

I'm not trying to sell you.

I don't expect you to
go to work until someone

asks for a test pilot
in a hammock factory.

Oh, Mom, please let me
take this job in the dress shop.

I'll only work two afternoons a
week after school and on Saturdays.

And she'll get $18.00 a week
plus 15 percent on her sales.

And Uncle Harry said he'd
forget about the commission.

He said he'd forget
about his commission?

Those were his exact words.

We're not looking for witnesses.

And listen, Mom, now
that I'm working I can

give you $20.00 a month
for my part of the rent.

I wouldn't hear of it.

Kim, look, if taking this
job will make you happy,

all right, but I will not
have you paying rent.

Why not?

Because I'm a
mother, not a landlady.

I want her to be glad to see me, not
ducking me the first of every month.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

Okay, baby.

There, it's your turn.

Mom, you're not supposed
to be looking in the dictionary.

Who's looking in the dictionary?

Well, you've got it open.

Just because it's open
doesn't mean I'm looking.

I've got my shoes
on, but I'm not walking.

You're not supposed
to look in the dictionary.

Who says?

It says right here
in the directions.

"It's against the rules for a
contestant to refer to the dictionary."

Well, I'm not a
contestant. I'm your mother.

You've still gotta
play by the rules.

Well, then go ahead.
It's your turn. Play.

All right. All right.

Boy, by the time I get married I'll
be able to get along with anybody.

Kim, aren't you dressed yet?

Just about.

If she doesn't go to work till tomorrow
how come she's getting dressed tonight?

For us.

She wants to show off a dress
I bought her to go to work in.

[whistles]

Craig, you never said
that about me before.

I finally see a girl who
looks like Audrey Hepburn,

and it has to be my sister.

Mom, do I really
look sophisticated?

Oh, you sure do.

Are my heels high enough?

If they were any higher
you'd look like the flying nun.

You look very
sophisticated, darling.

Lady Vogue's most
fashionable saleslady.

Oh, "Saleslady."

Pardon me, sir, may I help you?

With what?

Perhaps something for madam?

What?

You're supposed
to be a customer.

In a dress shop?

Oh, come on now; act like you
came in to buy something for your wife.

I'm not married.

I know that.

Pretend your girlfriend
Elsie is your wife.

Okay.

Hello.

Hi. May I help you?

I'd like to buy
something for my wife.

Well, here's our
latest fashion in slacks.

What size does your wife wear?

I don't know.

Well, can you give me some idea?

Well, when she sits on my
motorbike she kind of hangs over.

Mother.

Oh, come on now, Craig.

Stop clowning.

I'm not clowning.

Elsie hangs over.

Well, goodnight, ladies.

Where are you going?

I've got to get home
to the wife and kids.

Oh.

Kim, baby, you're just going
to make a great saleslady.

Thanks, Mom.

I'd better go upstairs and get my
dress off before it gets all wrinkled.

All right, dear.

Oh, Kim.

Kim, there are a few
suggestions I'd like to make, dear.

Yes, Mom?

Well, for one thing,
you have a habit,

instead of saying hello
to people you say "Hi."

And now that you're in the business
world I think it would be better to

greet your customers
with a good morning.

Okay.

Good morning.

That's better.

Thanks, Mom.

And Kim, darling, when you walk up
to a customer it's good to have poise,

but don't be too nonchalant.

You know, put a little spring in
your step like you're enthusiastic

and anxious to wait on them.

Like good morning.

Try that.

Good morning.

That's better but with
a bigger smile, darling.

Your enthusiasm and your good
morning must be very sincere.

Well, Mom, if I'm
supposed to be sincere

wouldn't it be better
if I'd just be myself?

Oh, I want you to be yourself.

I'm just trying to draw
out your personality.

Gosh, Mom, if I do all the things
you tell me I won't even be me.

Oh, and besides if I don't
walk right my smile isn't right,

and I don't even know how to say hello
maybe I shouldn't even show up for the job.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I didn't mean to discourage you.

I just wanted to help.

I wanted to give you confidence.

Mothers do have
a way of interfering.

All right.

When you start on your new job
tomorrow you are strictly on your own.

Thanks, Mom.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh, Mom?

Yes, dear?

Aren't you even going to
drop by and see how I'm doing?

Of course I'm going to drop by.

Goodnight, Mom.

Goodnight.

Congratulations, Kim.
That's quite a sale.

Thanks, Joanie.

I'll have these things
ready for you in a minute.

Oh, fine. And I'd
like this one, too.

Isn't this stunning?

Mother, I feel so guilty you buying
all these things on account of me.

Oh, nonsense.

For months now I've been looking
for an excuse to get a new wardrobe.

Isn't this chic?

- Yes, but - - And
it's just my size.

Look, I'm meeting Uncle Harry and
Craig at Pierre's Restaurant for lunch,

and I want to wear it.

All right. I'll take
the tags off for you.

Okay.

Is everything satisfactory?

Oh, just fine. Thank you.

You know, actually I just
came in to buy a scarf,

but your young saleslady showed me
some things that were just irresistible.

Oh, I'm very glad she's been
so helpful. She's new here.

Oh, she's new.

Well, she seems so
experienced and so poised.

She certainly has
a flair for selling.

I thought she was rather
exceptional when I hired her.

Yeah. Well, you certainly
made a good choice.

What happens when she
finds out you're my mother?

Oh, now honey, don't worry
about that. You're off to a good start.

You can introduce me some
other time when I come back.

Mom, if you're the only one I can sell to
I may not be here when you come back.

Now, don't worry,
dear. You'll do just fine.

Oh, honey, I had some cards
printed up with your name on them.

See?

Lady Vogue Dress Shop and
there's your name, Kim Carter.

You give them out to your customers so
they can ask for you when they come in.

Oh, I think I'll keep some
to give to my friends.

Honey, I've got to hurry now or
I'll be late meeting Uncle Harry.

All right. I'll get your things.

Okay.

You'd look adorable in that.

And if you're looking for
an exceptional salesgirl

ask for that young
lady right over there.

Gee, Mom's awful late.

Yes. I don't understand it.

She's always on time when
I'm picking up the check.

Hi.

Well, it's about time.

Well, I'm sorry I'm late.

I stopped by the store to see
Kim, and I bought a few things.

A few things?

You must have
spent a year's salary.

Oh, it's her first day.

I wanted to help
her get started.

Oh, and you know,
actually I was saving money

because Kim gets 15
percent commission.

The more things I buy
the more money I save.

You should be in Washington.

Oh, I had these cards
printed up for Kim.

See, Lady Vogue Dress
Shop, and there's her name.

Give them out to some of
your girlfriends at school,

and you give these out to some
of the men you play poker with,

huh, for their wives.

Oh, they'll be thrilled.

Four of them are paying alimony.

Oh.

Oh, can we eat now? I'm hungry.

Yes.

Well, listen to this.

Pierre's Restaurant will feature a
luncheon fashion show tomorrow

sponsored by the
Modern Miss Boutique.

So?

So the Modern Miss Boutique is a
dress shop right across the street

from where Kim works.

Well, what do you suggest
we do, form a picket line?

No, but if that store gets all the
business it'll hurt Kim's commission.

Look, we came here to eat.

Now, stop worrying about Kim.

Uncle Harry, what's the difference between
the sirloin steak and the porterhouse?

Ninety cents.

Oh.

Would you excuse me a moment?

Please hurry. I'm starving.

Yes. I'll be right back.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I guess the boss booked another
fashion show and didn't tell me.

What's Mom doing?

She seems to be putting
on her own fashion show.

Aren't you supposed to
have a license to do that?

I hope so.

She's liable to get arrested.

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a
new import featured exclusively by

Lady Vogue Dress Shop.

This lovely two-piece outfit is a
dramatic surprise of the season.

It answers the dream
of every woman.

I will demonstrate the amazing
versatility of this ensemble.

First, I call your attention to
this beautiful high-fashion cape

with its stunning print lining worn
with this lovely two-tone silk dress.

Notice the attract empire line.

The perfect dress for
madam's luncheons

and for the unexpected
evening invitation.

Voila.

Voila is French.

It means "How about that."

Madam is now a la mode
for any evening occasion.

And now for another surprising
aspect of this ensemble,

take off the skirt

and we have a sun suit.

Take any more off
and we'll have a lawsuit.

And now to add to the
versatility of this ensemble,

regarder,

the matching all-weather look.

Ain't il un gaz.

That means "Ain't it a gas."

This two-piece miracle ensemble will take
you around the clock or around the world.

Adorable.

Oh, I must have that outfit.

It can only be bought at
the Lady Vogue Dress Shop.

And be sure and ask
for Miss Kim Carter.

She's the world's
greatest saleslady.

What are you going to do
for an encore, a bubble dance?

Can we eat now?

Yeah. What are you waiting for?

This is a very nice sale
you made here, Kim.

Thank you, Miss Simpson.

Here you are, ladies, and
thank you for your patronage.

Oh, you're welcome.

But the person you
should really thank is the

model who did your fashion
show at the restaurant.

Who?

The model at
Pierre's Restaurant.

She's the one who really sold
us on this beautiful ensemble.

Oh.

Be sure and tell her
about us coming in.

Oh, I sure will.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Hi, Kim.

Hello, Mom.

How you doing?

Well, I thought I was
doing good until I found

out that you're the one
who has been doing good.

What does that mean?

Oh, Mom, it means that just once I wish
you'd let me stand on my own two feet.

The first sale I made
this morning was to you.

And then those two women who
left was a sale that you really made.

And now you've come
back this afternoon to babysit.

Oh, Kim.

I'm sorry if I went overboard
in trying to help you.

But I give you my word.

There'll be no
more interference.

Mom, I know I can
make good on my own.

Why, this morning after you left
I sold our most expensive gown

to a very difficult customer.

Good for you.

And honey, I did not
come here to babysit.

I came over here this
afternoon to buy some gloves

to go with that blue dress
I bought this morning.

Oh.

Joanie?

Yes, Kim?

Could you wait on this lady?

Well, of course.

What may I show you?

Some gloves.

Something in navy.

This way, please.

We have these imported cottons.

And these knit gloves have
been very popular this season also.

Young lady?

Yes, ma'am, may I help you?

I doubt it.

You haven't been
much help so far.

Well, what's wrong?

This dress I bought, I distinctly
remember asking for a size 14.

Well, I'm sure I
sold you a size 14.

I don't care to argue the point.

When I tried to put that on to go to a
tea this afternoon it was much too small.

Well, I'm sorry you didn't
try the dress on here.

I'm not accustomed
to trying them on.

I happen to be
a perfect size 14.

Well, maybe if you tried
a larger-sized dress?

I don't need a
larger-sized dress.

I couldn't even get into
this one with my girdle on.

Well, maybe if you tried
a smaller-sized girdle.

What?

Well, I mean I'll see if I
can find a larger-size 14.

Are you being impertinent?

Oh, no, ma'am.

It's just that some sizes run
different, and I'll see what I can find.

I just don't know how some stores
can operate with such inept help.

Have you decided what
kind of gloves you'd like?

Boxing gloves.

This pair is fine. Thank you.

Here's a size 14
that's a lot roomier.

Oh, it's atrocious.

Well, here's the dress
you liked in a size 16.

But I don't take a size 16.

But the 14 didn't fit.

I don't believe
it was a size 14.

I believe you changed
your tag to make a sale.

Ma'am, it's not fair to accuse
me of such an ugly thing.

Are you calling me ugly?

No.

Young lady, I don't
like to make scenes,

but one more word out of
you and I'll hit the ceiling.

One more word out of
you and you'll hit the floor.

What?

For your information you only get
out of a dress what you put into it,

so don't blame this poor kid because
you're trying to put too much into it.

Who do you think
you're talking to?

Well, I'm not talking to
a size 14, that's for sure.

I have never been
so insulted in my life.

Oh, yes, you have.

Young lady, give me my money back,
and I'll never come into this store again.

Mrs. Murdock, here is the
check you gave us this morning.

I don't know which is worse, your help
or the class of customer you cater to.

Humph.

Oh, Miss Simpson, I'm
sorry for losing that sale.

Oh, it was my fault.

Oh, don't worry about it.

That woman is
always returning things.

I ought to give you a
bonus for getting rid of her.

Oh.

And it did my heart good to see somebody
jump up and stand up for the underdog.

You know too many people in
the world just stand on the sidelines

and don't want to get involved.

Oh, well I try to
be a good citizen.

And a good mother.

How did you know
she was my mother?

Oh, I could tell this morning
when she bought all those things.

How could you tell?

Well, I have a daughter who just went to
work in a decorator's shop selling lamps.

Oh!

Oh, yes. Yes.

Oh, yes. Isn't it awful.