02x08 - Lucy at the Drive-In Movie

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy.

Starring Lucille Ball.

Co-Starring Gale Gordon,

Lucie Arnaz, and Desi Arnaz, Jr.

♪ Singing ♪ When I was
seventeen, that was a very good year,

scooby-doo-bee-doo.

That was a very good year for small
town girls and soft summer nights.

We'd hide all the lights

on the village green.

When I was seventeen.

When I was twenty-one, that was
a very good year, ring-a-ting-ting

It was a very good year for
city girls who lived up the stairs,

with all that perfumed hair

and it came undone.
When I was twenty-one.

When I was thirty-five,
that was a very good year...

Hi, mom.

Don't you call me, "Mom,"
you're older than I am.

Can you guess
who I was imitating?

Certainly, Lawrence Welk.

- Cut it out.
- I know it was Frank Sinatra.

Ah, how I remember Frankie boy.

He was my idol when
I was a bobby-soxer.

Gee, I thought he
was before your time.

Bless you.

- Where's Kim?
- Out.

- Out?
- Yeah. She went out for a ride with Alan.

Alan again. She is seeing quite a
bit of him and I haven't even met him.

I'm gonna have to talk this
over with her at dinnertime.

Oh, she won't be
home for dinner.

- How come?
- She is eating out with Alan.

- Hmm.
- You know, mom,
I think they're serious.

What makes you say that?

Well, because they're going to a
real restaurant, not a pizza joint.

Oh.

Craig, exactly, what do
you know about Alan?

Well, he's a nice guy.
He's a college graduate.

Oh, really? What college?

- Berkeley.
- Berkeley?

Yeah. He got two
degrees and three arrests.

Oh, no!

Oh, mom. Listen, it was
nothing serious, just picketing.

- Anyway, he is taking
postgraduate courses now.
- Never mind. I've heard enough.

I'm not gonna have a
daughter of mine going out

with an older man who
has a criminal record.

He doesn't have a criminal
record and he's not an older man.

He's only 21.

And Kim is only 18,
so he's an older man.

Uh, it's times like this that I wish I
had a man to discuss things with.

Why don't you
talk to Uncle Harry?

Well, he's better than nothing.

Lucille, you are blowing up this
entire situation out of all proportion.

No, I'm not. I know
how these things work.

A girl and a boy have a
few dates and then they

decide to go steady,
then they get married,

then they have a baby, and the first
thing you know, I'm a grandmother.

Oh, don't be asinine.

That's no way to
talk to grandma.

Craig, I thought you'd
be more understanding.

After all, you're the
only child I have left now.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Your daughter goes out on a simple date and
already you have a married with children.

Of course, you don't understand
my feelings. You're not a mother.

Now Lucille, don't
misunderstand me.

- I don't think we should dismiss
the matter entirely.
- Yeah.

- Oh, we ought to know
something about the boy's background.
- You bet.

- Uh, does he have a good education?
- He is a college graduate.

- Um, does he have a nice family?
- Oh, his mother is in the social register.

- Uh-huh, does he have any money?
- His father is a millionaire.

Does he have an oldest sister?

Craig, how do you know
all this about his family?

Well, that's what I
heard him tell Kim.

Oh, that's what he says.
How do we know it's the truth?

How do we know that he isn't a
fortune hunter after our money?

What money? We
don't have any money.

Do not try to confuse me.

We just got to find out if
Kim and Alan are serious.

- Well, supposed they are serious.
- Then, this could be serious.

Kim is too young to get
married. She's only 18.

Oh, wait a minute, mom. You told me
you're only 17 when you got married.

That's right, but that was to
your father. This boy is a stranger.

Lucille, just forget about everything
and eat your dinner. It's getting cold.

I don't have any appetite.

Well, force yourself.
You're paying for it.

Good night, mom. See you later.

Where are you going?

I've got a date.

You, too? Is that all you kids
ever think of -dates and fun.

But, mom, this is the
first date I've had all week.

Well, just don't come home
late. Tomorrow is a school day.

Tomorrow is Saturday.

Don't change the subject.

OK. I'll be home early.

- Hello, Craig.
- Good bye, Kim.

My children are like
ships that pass in the night.

What did you say, mom?

It's about time you got home. Where
have you been to all hours of the night?

Mother, it isn't even 8:30 yet.

Yeah. Well, you and
your smart aleck answers.

- What's the matter, mom?
- Nothing.

Why are you putting
your sweater on?

- I'm going out.
- Again?

Yeah. Alan is waiting
for me in the car.

In the car? Oh, oh.

I'm not good enough to
meet a millionaire's son.

What's the matter, are
you ashamed of me?

Of course not, mom.

I'll ask him in right now.

Alan, would you mind
coming in for a minute?

I know you'll like him, mom.

Well, I hope so. I want to
ask him a few questions.

Like what?

I want to know what
his intentions are?

Oh, mother, please!

Did I say something wrong?

Mother, people don't do
things like that anymore.

It isn't like when you were
a girl in the olden days.

What do you mean, "The Olden Days"?
I'm only 10 years older than you are.

Well, at least,
I'm not an antique.

Oh, Alan, come on in. I'd
like you to meet my mother.

Mother, this is Alan Stevens.

- It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Carter.
- How do you do?

Well, uh, now that I've met you, it's
easy to see where Kim inherits her beauty.

Oh. Oh, well.

Would you care for
some milk and cookie?

Uh, no thanks. It,
might make us late.

- Late for what?
- We're going to a movie.

Oh, what picture
you're going to see?

Uh, La Notte del Bacio Dolce.

Oh... one of those
French pictures.

It's an Italian picture, mother.

- Italian?
- Yeah.

Well, all right, but
don't stay out too late.

We won't.

- Oh, well, I'll see that
she's home early Mrs. Carter.
- Fine.

- Good night, mom.
- Good night.

- It's been nice meeting you.
- Thank you.

Oh, Kim, do you think that
sweater is warm enough?

Uh, sometimes, it gets
pretty cold at the drive-in.

I think it'll be all right.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Drive-in?

Kim! Oh!

[singing] To dream
the impossible dream.

[door buzzer]

All right, I'm coming.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

I've got to tell you about
something important.

I'm sorry, madam, I gave
at the office. Uh, good night.

- Lucille?
- Yes, I've got to talk to you.

Aren't you a little
old for trick or treat?

This is an emergency.

With you everything
is an emergency.

What in the world
are you made up for?

Well, this is a disguise, so Kim
won't recognize me when I follow her.

- Follow her where?
- She went to a movie with Alan.

That's an emergency?

Harry, they're seeing a
foreign picture in a drive-in.

- So.
- So, they're alone, in the dark,
by themselves, in a parked car.

Don't you had any
faith in your daughter?

I have faith in her, but
I don't know about him.

Now listen, Lucille.
Kim is not a child.

She is a young lady and they're only
doing what thousands of young people do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, will
you relax and stop worrying.

Yeah. Well, it's easy
for you to say that.

You didn't meet this
Alan. I don't like his looks.

What does he look like?

Well, he's tall, nice
looking, clean-shaven,

very neat, and has fine manners.

Sounds like a wonderful boy.

Yeah. Well, those are the worst
kind. They put you off guard.

Harry, I tell you. I've got to get to
that drive-in and keep an eye on them.

Now, Lucy, your Kim is
too old to have a chaperone.

I don't mean that. I just
wanted to keep an eye on them.

Now, come on.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
no. I'm not coming on.

No. I will not go.

Harry, I think she is serious about
this boy. They're liable to get married.

- Well, supposed they do get married.
- Well, if they do, you'll have to keep
your promise and pay for the wedding.

Well, don't just stand
there. Let's go! Let's go.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Uh, what drive-in are they going to?

I don't know.

Well, what picture
are they going to see?

Oh, let's see. It was something
like, uh, La Dachy Bachy Pachy.

Uh, I better look at
that and try to find it.

The Nachy Dachy Dachy.

Uh, Pachy, Pachy, Dachy.

Nachy Pachy Pachy.

Could this be it... La
Notte del Bacio Dolce?

That's what I said. Come on.

Oh... oh, get into
this before we go.

Get into this paper bag?

Oh, open it up and hurry up.

Come on, Harry,
please. We got to hurry.

- It moves.
- Come on.

Hey, what do you
think you're doing?

I'm looking for my
mommy and my daddy.

How come you take
your dog to a movie?

'Cause he loved the book.

- Ah-ha, if it isn't pepping Tessie again.
- Oh, hi.

Now, I told you for the
last time, you can't go

around looking into the
cars. I've had complaints.

- You startled some of the occupants.
- May I say some of them startled me.

I've had enough
trouble with you.

Now, you either get back into your
car or you get out, out of theater.

- All right, all right.
- All right, come in. In, in, in, in, in.

- Go, go. In, in, in, in, in, in.
- In, in, in, in, in.

- OK. I've had... I'm gonna...
- Now, look-We got to find them...

- There - There they are.
- What?

- What are you doing?
- Sit down. We got to hide.

- We don't want them to recognize us.
- Our own mothers wouldn't recognize us.

Um, pardon me. Could
I get in my car, please?

Did you get alone with them?

That's in fact a couple
of stone-age hippies!

If there's anything I can't
stand, it's middle-aged swingers.

They looked like they
swung their last swing.

She must have been at least 40.

Oh, more than that. She was
old enough to be my mother.

And did you see that
man? Can you believe that?

You know what, 'til you mentioned
it, I didn't know it was a man.

- Well, now that we found them, let's go.
- What do you mean go?

I'm gonna stay here and
make sure nothing happens.

What could happen? They've got enough food
with them that last them about three days.

Harry, we're gonna stay
here and we're gonna

watch them until they
leave. I don't trust him.

All right, all right. You watch
them. I'm gonna watch the picture.

- Uh, uh, turn on the sound.
- What?

Turn on the sound.

Where's the sound?

Out there on that little
post there. There it is.

Oh.

You better lean
out if wanna hear it.

You are supposed
to bring it into the car.

Oh.

This thing is heavy. I'll get tired holding
this thing throughout the whole picture.

You're not supposed
to hold it. You hang it up.

Oh.

- Not there. On the door. On the door.
- Why don't you just say so?

[movie playing loudly]

Will you keep that thing
turned down, madam?

That was that miserable
manager I told you about.

- He's a real weirdo.
- Yeah.

Gee, you know something, Harry?
Watching them has made me hungry.

- I'm gonna get something to eat.
- All right.

- You want something?
- No, thank you.

- You'll be sure to watch them now, here.
- I'll watch. I'll watch. I'll watch.

- You don't take your eyes off them.
- No, no, no, no.

- Kim!
- Jackie!

- Hi!
- How are you?

- Good.
- Gosh, it's good to see you.

- Thank you.
- Oh, Alan, this is Jackie Berry.

Jackie, Alan Stevens.

- Hello.
- How do you do?

And that must be Wendy?

- So, it is.
- Oh, she's adorable.

- Looks just like her father.
- Yeah, except for the mustache.

- Do you think I could hold her?
- Sure.

You wanna hold her a
few minutes 'til I get back?

I'd love it!

- If she asks for me,
tell her I'll be right back.
- OK.

She's no nice. Her husband
is in the service, now.

- Yeah. She's really got a beautiful baby.
- Doesn't she so?

Uh, she's so tiny.

Oh, I know. Look at
that cute little nose.

Those dimples.

[baby crying]

I told you to watch.

- What are you talking about?
- I was only gone two minutes
and look what happened?

You men are all alike you're just
too busy with your own selfish needs.

What in the world
are you talking about?

I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.

I'm talking about...

- Oh, I hope to see you soon.
- Yeah, hope to see you.

- Bye, it was nice meeting you.
- Yes. Good bye.

Bye.

Well, what are
you talking about?

Who's talking,
watch the picture.

I lost my hot dog
and everything.

Harry, I'm cold.
Turn on the heater.

I don't have a heater.

You don't have a heater?

No, I'm a fresh air fiend.

You're also a cheapskate.

Well, put the top up. It
does have a top, doesn't it?

- Yes, it does have a top.
- Would you please put it up?

Well, you'll have to help me.

- Help you?
- Yes. We had to put it up by hand.

- Oh, you got to be kidding.
- No, I am not kidding.

I don't believe in all those electric
gadgets that will run things up.

I want something
that never failed.

Now, get over there. There's
a catch right down there.

- Where?
- Right there.

Uh, see like that?
Right there. That's it.

Now then, now, let's get in,
on the way you can balance

it better and then latch
that. OK, come on, come on.

- Oh, honestly, Harry.
- Come on, now, hurry up.

You wanted the top... now,
pull it up, pull it up, pull it up.

Now, pull.

[car honking] Hey,
put that top down.

[car honking] Now, pull it up.

[car honking] Come
on, pull it... pull it up.

I am Harry.

- What do you think you're doing?
- We can't see a thing.

- How dare you do all that.
- Yeah.

Madam, I have never hit a
woman before in all my life.

But, in your case, I think
I'll make an exception.

Now, see here...

[cross talk]

- Oh! Oh, it's you... out!
- What do you mean me?

- Out!
- What about his car?

- Get out! Take the care and get out!
- What about what he did?

Out!

Out! Get out!

No, no, Harry. She
is not home yet.

I'll call you after
she comes in.

Now, remember, she must never
know that we were there... that's right.

- Don't forget now.
- Good night, Alan.

Oh, she's coming.

- Oh. Hi, Kim.
- Hi, mom.

Back so soon? How was the dance?

Dance? I'm was at a movie.

Oh, that's right. I forgot.
How was the movie?

Well, I wouldn't know.
The wildest thing happened.

Oh really? What?

There was an odd
couple at the drive-in.

I mean, they were really
middle-aged weirdos

and you'd never believe the way
they were dressed... like hippies.

- Hippies?
- Yeah.

They almost
wrecked the drive-in.

No kidding.

Well, it takes all
kinds to make a world.

It certainly does.

- Good night, mom.
- Good night, dear. See you in the morning.

Oh, well, what was that for?

I'm so glad you act your age.

Good night.

Good night, dear.

Hi, Craig.

Hello.

What's the matter?

- I had a miserable evening.
- What happened?

Well, I took Patty
to the drive-in.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

And her parents
followed us there.

They parked right next to us.

They were spying on us.

I don't think they trust me.

How dare they not trust my son?!

You're a very nice boy!

I got a good mind to call Patty's
mother and tell her a thing or two...