01x06 - The Flamingo Must Flamin-Go/Splatter of the Bands

[bunniefuu]

[Kristine] Fame.

Music.

Tomatoes.

All that and more today
in my video project

for Mr. William's class,

since he won't accept another
hat-themed slide show.

This is...

"Splatter of the Bands!"

Behind the splatter.

Hailey Banks was just a small city girl

with big city dreams.

But would her dreams come true?

Or become a hat-astrophe?

So, what inspired you to enter Oceanside's

Splatter of the Bands?

I've gone every year since I was three

and have always wanted to perform.

So, I put "Have a perfect

tomato-less performance
at Splatter of the Bands"

on my... uh...

let's call it a to-do list.

- Hashtag goals, am I right?
- Sure.

So, I guess the real question is,

what is this Splatter of the Bands?

Oh, are you asking me? Well...

[Hailey] It started during
the Great Tomato Surplus

of 1989, when a tomato seed plane

accidentally dropped tons of tomato seeds

all over Oceanside.

Weeks later, Oceanside
was overrun with tomatoes.

Everyone ate what they could,
but there were just too many.

That is, until the awful boy band,

"Pasty Boyz" came to town.

The townspeople took out
all their frustrations

on the band by pelting them with tomatoes.

And just like that,

the new tradition of
Splatter of the Bands was born.

During the contest,
if a band does anything

even slightly wrong, the audience

chucks tomatoes at them!

Only a truly captivating performance

can save a band from a tomatoey fate.

But that is extremely rare.

But I hoped that with serious
rehearsal and preparation,

I could avoid getting pelted
by even the most

zealous tomato chuckers.

But who were these expert chuckers?

Let's find out. Star wipe!

[splatting]

I'm here with experienced
tomato chucker, Becker Denoga,

and her brother-chucker, Scott.

[squeals] Isn't he a hottie?

People think Splatter of the Bands

is about the music,

but it's really about the tomatoes.

And chucking a tomato requires zen, man.

[calming music]

- [splatting]
- [man exclaims] Ow!

[Becker] Hey! Don't ruin my zen!

We were even voted "Best Tomato Chuckers"

by Veggie Weekly, and Fruit Weekly.

It's a contentious issue.

The Denoga family key
to a successful chuck

is finding the right tomato.

Too firm, no splatter.

Too soft, hand splatter.

Just right?

[in unison] That's the splatter
that matters!

[Kristine] But Hailey's
performing this year.

Are you gonna splatter her, too?

Well, she is an amazing singer, so--

No preferential treatment!

Hey, what are you doing
with my restaurant's tomatoes?

Uh oh, conflict. [squeals]

You're not throwing them right.

- [grunting]
- [splatting]

[Wilhelm screams]

[splash]

Since Splatter of the Bands
is a band competition

I joined the only band I knew,
The Funcles.

[island music]

[Hailey] The Funcles are a band my dad

and his friends formed.

I call them my uncles.

It's a Hawaii thing.

These are my bros!

- Best bros.
- Ah, you're my bro!

I love you, bros!

So, can you give us
an exclusive sneak peek

of your performance?

Oh, we don't know what we're singing yet.

We always sing the same song.

"Pelt Me From My Head To-ma-toes!"

What? No! That's literally
the worst song to sing.

That's guaranteed to get us tomatoed.

That's OK.

- Then I can make my tomato stew.
- But--

It doesn't matter what we sing,
or how much we get tomatoed,

as long as we have fun.

[splatting]

[exclaims] Stupid boat.

Getting all wet with sea sauce, ugh.

- You mean, water?
- Yeah.

Water is the sauce of the sea.

Hey, this is giving me an idea.

We should sing a sea shanty!

- A sea shanty?
- [all exclaim] Yeah!

Hailey, a sea shanty is perfect.

Everything will be fine. Trust us.

[tense music]

OK. I trust you.

I did not trust them.

[fast paced music]

[bleats loudly]

Oh man, they're good!

There's just a few days
till the competition

and Hailey's worried
The Funcles aren't ready.

Hailey, you're worried we're not ready?

Um, kind of, honestly, but--

So, she booked extra rehearsal time.

Only problem is,

The Funcles keep getting distracted.

- Hey, we don't keep getting--
- [man] Ice cream!

[pleasant jingle]

[all exclaim] Ice cream!

But we need to rehearse!

- [exclaims] Ugh!
- [footsteps trailing]

[bleating]

[feedback]

♪ When the waves are high and choppy ♪

♪ And I'm 12 leagues out from landing ♪

♪ With a leak in the hold
And the wind's blowing cold ♪

♪ I remember who's commanding ♪

- [slow clapping]
- [Olga] Very nice, glasses girl.

Wait, Das B3at!

But who is this Das B3at, you ask?

[retro music]

I am Olga,

and this is my sibling, Frederix.

We are the biggest
techno-pop band in Europe,

known for our flawless
performances and lack of smiles.

Yeah. Ever heard of
the Eurofest Music Competition?

Of course, you have.

We won it because
we are number one winners!

And now we're traveling the world

winning every
singing competition there is,

including this one.

Wow! I'm a huge fan.

I watched your Eurofest performance

like a hundred times.

- It's perfection.
- Of course, it is!

Speaking of perfection,

your voice would be perfect for our band.

My sibling, Frederix,
says adding local talent

increases our chances
of winning by 37 percent.

And with you, it's 39 percent

because you have glasses, I did the math.

But I'm already in a band.

I don't see any band, only us.

So, you will join.

We only ask one thing from you,

absolute perfection!

♪ Fish skin, za, za, za ♪

♪ Za, za, za, za, za, za, za, za ♪

♪ Za, za, za, za, za, za
Fish skin ♪

♪ Fish skin, za, za, za ♪

♪ Za, za, za, za, za, za, za, za ♪

♪ Za, za, za, za, za, za ♪

♪ Fish skin ♪

♪ Three, two, one, make a wish ♪

♪ On the skin of a fish ♪

♪ Live life, find your purpose ♪

♪ I've seen epidermis ♪

♪ Let's make a wish
On the skin of a fish ♪

♪ Fish skin, za, za, za ♪

♪ Za, za, za, za, za, za, za, za ♪

♪ Fish skin ♪

That was good,

if you were from Buronia.

But we are from Shuronia.

Those are real places?

Hailey was 2.5 millimeters off her mark

and 0.7 nanoseconds off beat.
I did the math.

Then let's do it again, yah?

And this time with more efficiency

than a flat snoodle hog from Buronia.

- Is that good or bad?
- Music!

♪ Fish skin ♪

We practiced non-stop.

I was exhausted.

But I knew it would all be worth it

to be perfect on the day of the show.

- If I survive till then...
- But would Hailey survive?

Uh, of course, I--

We'll find out. Coming up...
The day of the show. Star wipe!

So, this one I found at a bus stop.

You can tell it'll splat real nice

by the redness of the skin.

And I fought a raccoon for this one.

It's maybe a little too ripe.

[chuckles] What an amateur-- Ugh, uh.

It's starting!

Here come the victims-- I mean, targets.

I mean, bands-- Ah, whatever.

I closed the restaurant for this.

They're all going down!

[indistinct chattering]

[Olga] Za, za, za, fish skins,

turn to the right, kick your chin.

- [chuckling]
- [Man] Yeah, that's a good one.

Hailey!

Hey, honey, I just wanted to say

that even though you decided
not to perform with us,

I completely support--

Excuse me, strange middle-aged man.

We are clearly rehearsing.

And you have wasted 6.35 seconds
of our rehearsal time.

So please step 7.5 meters away.

Still rehearsing? Impressive.

But make sure you have fun.

Fun? Fun!

Perfection is not fun.

Fun is for stinky strudelpump bats.

No one knows what that is.

I guess that's my cue.

[distant cheer and applause]

[applause continues]

[cheering continues]

♪ When the waves are high and choppy ♪

♪ And I'm 12 leagues out from landing ♪

♪ With a leak in the hold
And the wind's blowing cold ♪

♪ I remember who's com... ♪

I thought a perfect routine with Das B3at

was all I wanted.

But when I saw my uncles performing,

I realized having fun was
more important than I thought.

♪ ...manding ♪

[rhythmic beating]

♪ Sea sauce, sea sauce
The ocean knows she's boss ♪

♪ Drop the main sail
And ride with the tide ♪

♪ Sea sauce, sea sauce
The only way to cross ♪

♪ Is to go with the flow
Go where she goes ♪

♪ Savor each toss of sea sauce ♪

[loud cheering and applause]

- [wristband chimes]
- [exclaims] Whoa, we did it!

A perfect tomato-less performance!

Yeah...

but I kind of miss getting tomatoed.

It was more fun.

You can't eat a perfect performance.

[farts]

[Kristine] That's when Hailey
knew what she had to do.

Thank you, everyone!

And now, we have one more song.

♪ Pelt me from my head to-ma-toes ♪

♪ Don't stop till
There's juice up my nose ♪

♪ Pelt me from my head to-ma-toes ♪

[cheering]

That was imperfect.

I know, isn't it great?

[footsteps trailing]

Hello, we are Das B3at
and we are better than you!

We will now show you Oceanside birdbrains

- what real music is. [exclaims]
- [splatting]

- Gotcha!
- Splatter up!

- [Scott chuckles]
- [splatting]

No! Our white turtlenecks!

These stains will never come out.

[splatting continues]

[Frederix] But we are better than you!

[Kristine] And that's the story
of my bestie, Hailey Banks

and her perfect performance
at the Splatter of the Bands.

[Kristine] And now, a pic
of my super cute new hat.

[squeals] Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[exclaims] Woohoo-hoo, yes!

Kristine, the assignment was supposed

to be about the solar system.

Of course, Mr. Williams!

This all happened
in the solar system. [squeals]

[splat]

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ The world's what you make it
Get up and chase it ♪

♪ Leaving nothing to chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action, making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it ♪

♪ I'm on it ♪

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪