01x24 - The Saw-Shank Redemption/No More Mr. Rice Guy

[bunniefuu]

[Beta] Chaos bots have been
sent from the future

to stop the one person
who can save the world.

Me?

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Teach a cat
to play the piano ♪

♪ Roller-skate all the way
to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my ear wax? ♪

♪ To make a candle ♪

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Win first place for
world's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze
Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

♪ Kiss my friend Scott? ♪

[Scott] Huh?

- [splashes]
- [Scott] Now I'm wet!

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

[school bell ringing]

- [boy grunting] Move!
- [boy 2] Whoa!

- Move! Move!
- [students yelping]

Walk the dog.
Behind the back.

[student grunts]

sh**t the moon.

- [groans]
- [laughs nervously]

Just go back
to walking the dog.

[boy]
Move, move, move!

Double dog walks.

Out of the way-- [grunts]

You doofus.

I can't be late.

Hardmeier's out here
giving everyone detention.

Oh, that's right.
It's the end of the month.

Mr. Hardmeier must be trying
to fill his quota.

The man's out for blood!

Yesterday, he gave the whole
marching band detention

for the noise violation!

You better get to class, too.

Detention is not an option.
[beeping]

The Kite Festival is today

and you have a ribbon to win.

[panting]

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

Not so fast, litterbug!

[yelps]

- But-- But I didn't mean to.
- Didn't mean to what?

Get caught?

Well, I didn't mean
to wake up this hardcore,

but sometimes that's life.

You just got yourself...

[in deeper voice] detention!

[growls angrily]

Scott, if we're late
for class, we're next!

I just need my textbook.

[grunting]

[boy cackling]

I wonder how that happened.

[continues cackling]

[groans]

- [Beta] Hurry!
I'm late for my nap.
- [both grunting]

Oh, thank goodness.
Sweet dreams.

Hey!

[panting]

[school bell ringing]

- We made it!
- [Hardmeier] Banks! Denoga!

Student ID
and locker registration now.

But we weren't late to class.
We made it before the bell.

Yeah, on what grounds
are-- [yelps]

Running in the hall!

- I clocked you at a whopping
eight miles per hour.
- [scanner beeping]

The fines are doubled
in a wet floor zone,

so that would mean...
detention!

But someone
glued my locker shut.

That's the real crime.

Appeal your case
with the dean of discipline.

Okay, we will!

Wait...

- Who's the--
- [Hardmeier yelling]
I'm the dean of discipline!

Appeal denied!

What about
checks and balances?

Due process?

I do process

you're upset about
my kick-butt hall monitoring.

I just don't care.

[grumbling angrily]

[school bell ringing]

[♪ sinister instrumental
music playing]

[jingling]

[snarls]

He's probably more reasonable
than we think.

Let's just ask nicely.

Hi, Mr. Hardmeier.

Hello.

Could we possibly reschedule
our detention for next week?

- There's a Kite Festival--
- Request denied!

Detention is my time!

So get to work!

Those novelty license plate
keychains I sell at the pier

aren't gonna
hammer themselves.

And no weird spellings, okay?

Okay, if Ashleigh with a "gh"
wants a plate,

she can go pound sand.

[man singing on recording]
♪ Your love ♪

Becker told me about
this place.
It's a hard scene.

Let's just keep quiet
and try to look tough.

- What do you think
you're doing?
- [yelps]

We don't know what we did,
but we have so much remorse!

- Take my money!
- [coins jingling]

That seat stays empty

in honor
of our dear friend, Hacksaw.

What happened to Hacksaw?

She escaped detention
weeks ago
and hasn't been seen since.

I bet she's off
living her best life.

Maybe she lives
on a stolen boat!

Aw, she totally lives
on a stolen boat.

Straight-up legend.

[Hardmeier] Less yammering,
more hammering!

Time is money.

Now I'm gonna go make space
for those keychains

in the trunk
of my pride and joy,

a 2005 Weison Cilantro.

Maybe I'll give her
an oil change
while I'm out there.

Remember, we do those every...

[all dully] 2,000 miles.

Now, don't even think
about leaving this room!

[locks clicking]

[sighs] 2005.
A fine year for Weisons.

It's your fault I'm here.

- [whimpers]
- No offense,

but aren't all you saws
kind of used to detention
by now?

Yeah! But this week
was supposed to be different.

We've all been
on our bestest behavior.

Bonesaw even went to class.

If you have any questions
about the endocrine system,
I got you.

We were being so good

'cause we just wanted to fly
in the Oceanside Kite Festival
freestyle event.

But then we got nabbed on
last-minute technicalities,

and we ended up here anyway.

You all fly kites?

We live for the breeze!

You got a problem with that?

- No, sir.
- Hold on.

We were gonna compete
in the same exact kite event.

It almost feels like
we were set up.

Chainsaw, what are you in for?

[♪ upbeat music playing]

No silly hats in school!
Detention!

[cackling]
Wonder how that happened.

A.C. was there
when I got detention too.

Us too!

He must have picked off
all his top competition

so he can win
the Kite Festival.

We have to go down there
and confront him.

How? We can't get
past Hardmeier.

If Hacksaw got out, so can we.

[man singing on recording]
♪ Your love... ♪

- [cell phone vibrating]
- Huh? Oh.

Kelly Hardmeier.

And also a man's name!

Tell that
to my Grandfather Kelly!

Well, no,
you can't literally tell him,
he's dead now.

But-- what is this regarding?

As a distinguished owner
of a Weison Cilantro,

you have been selected
to have your car featured

in a car show
this very afternoon.

About time!

What's the name
of the car show?

- I want to brag about it
on my socials.
- [nervously] Uh...

- Gentlemen's Car Salon.
- Just say Auto Exposition.

Save A Car Show!

It's the Mega Ultra
Manly Car Jamboree.

[Hardmeier] Sounds legitimate.

[all sigh in relief]

It starts soon,
so drop whatever you're doing

and come to Carlsbad,
right now.

[Hardmeier] Will do!
Quick question, though.

I'm sort of nervous about
a bunch of riffraff
at the show

touching my Weison.

So what's your insurance
policy's coverage limit
for no-fault claims?

It's, um, really high.

Or low.
Whichever one is better.

I'm starting to think
either your event

has inadequate insurance...

or you're actually just a kid
who can't even drive!

[grunts]

[hammers clanging]

Whatever nonsense
you're trying to pull,
I'm on it.

My eyes
are always sweeping
and scanning,

just like a vigilant
highway driver.

No more shenanigans!

You're not smarter than me.

I drive a Weison
and I demand your respect!

[locks clicking]

The security on
this one particular classroom
is quite impressive.

Wouldn't want to be you guys
right about now. [cackles]

A.C. doesn't deserve to win
like this.

There has to be a way out.

I've been in here so long,
I wonder...

will I even remember
how to function out there?

We've been here
for 15 minutes, Scott.

[door thudding]

The Kite Show's ceremonial
opening kite
is probably airborne by now.

But how did Hacksaw get out?

[yelling] Damn you, Hacksaw!

How could you just abandon us, huh?

We had dreams too,
you know? Aah!

- [clanging]
- Huh?

Only one thing
could have dug this out.

[all] A hacksaw!

[♪ soulful 80's
rock music playing]

Hardmeier's back
to his oil change.

We have...

Well, I don't know
how long an oil change takes,

but we have to
make a run for it.

But if he looks this way,
he'll see that we're gone.

I have an idea.

[tools clinking]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[grunts]

[yelps]

[all groaning]

[grunts]

[seagulls squawking]

Hmm, great technique.

And it seems
we have some amateurs
in the competition this year.

[laughing]

[both panting]

[Hailey] Hey, A.C.

Surprised to see us?

Surprised to see you dressed
like the world's
dorkiest mechanics?

Give it up, A.C!

We know about your little plan

to thin out the competition
and win.

Um, I'm just here
as a spectator.

Any true kiting arts
connoisseur

knows that piloting a kite
only detracts
from watching its flight.

[gasps] Ooh, a flutter dip.

You're telling me
you're not here to compete?

Then, why did you wear
your kite collection?

I find them comforting.

But none of the kites
in my collection
have touched air.

I keep them in
their original packaging

to preserve resale value.

Wait, so you didn't get us
sent to detention?

Then why did you say,

[mimicking cackle]
"Wonder how that happened?"

every time we got busted?

Because I genuinely wondered

how all those weird things
happened.

And I'm told my default laugh
sounds a bit conniving.

[laughing cunningly]

But then who could have--

[laughing triumphantly]
Look at her go!

Mr. Hardmeier!

Wait, if he's here,
who's back at school?

[man singing on recording]
♪ The smoke from my jewel... ♪

Vroom, vroom, vroom!
[cackling]

Hmm. Since you're the only
competitor in this category,

the ribbon is as good
as yours.

Wait!
We want to compete, too.

What? How'd you
meddling kids get here?

I locked the door 10 times
to keep you in detention.

Do you hear yourself?

I can't believe you set us up!

Sure. I've framed you kids
for crimes you didn't commit,

locked you in the slammer

and made you do manual labor
while you were in there,

but it was all worth it
because of what's at stake
here.

A fancy blue ribbon
at a local
kite flying festival.

Now it's time to execute
the final stage of my plan.

Win.

And you can't stop me!

You don't even have a kite!

[girl] Or don't they?

[♪ captivating instrumental
music playing]

Hacksaw!

We thought you were living
a glamorous life at sea.

Nah, I just moved to Encinitas
for my stepmom's new job.

I'm glad you guys
escaped though.

Now, finish the job!

[all] Ooh! Wow!

[all gasping] Wow! Whoa!

[all applauding]

[all cheering] Whoo!

No! Say "ooh" at mine!

[growls angrily]
I knew
you'd be too good!

[kite fluttering]

Aw, man!

We have a winner!

[all] Yeah!

[all cheering]

Hacksaw, thanks again
for your--

Where'd she go?

[Chainsaw] Straight-up legend.