03x24 - Lucy Goes Hawaiian: Part Two

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here is Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-starring Gale Gordon,

Lucie Arnaz and Desi Arnaz Jr.

[Boat horn blows]

- Hi, mom.
- Oh, hi, Kim.

- Say that's a cute sun suit.
- Well, thank you.

It looks familiar. Have
I seen that before?

Yeah. In your closet
before I borrowed it.

Oh, huh. Someday I'm going
to get to wear my things first.

Don't complain. You're
lucky Craig is a boy.

I planned it that way.

- I wish some other mother
had planned it that way, too.
- What do you mean?

Oh, there isn't one decent-looking
guy my age on this whole ship.

Well. We'll be in Honolulu soon,

and there must be someone just waiting
for you on that beautiful Waikiki beach.

I hope so.

Hey, how about that redheaded
boy I saw you with yesterday.

That was a girl.

Oh.

These days I can't
tell the difference.

I can.

Ah-ha, ha-ha-ha.

Oh, boy. This is the life.

I can just bask out
here in the sun forever.

Yeah, it sure is living.

Gee, Uncle Harry has been
living in the sun for two hours.

I hope he doesn't
get too sunburned.

Somebody better stick a fork
in him and see if he's done.

- I, I'll wake him up.
- Oh, why spoil my day.

Uncle Harry.

Uncle Harry, wake up, wake up.

Wha-wha-what, what?

Well, you better get up.
You're getting too sunburned.

Oh.

If you had claws, you'd
look like a big fat lobster.

You know, I'm glad you woke me.
I was having a terrible nightmare.

- Yeah?
- I dreamt I was cast
ashore on a desert island.

I was surrounded by


What so terrible about that?

They all look like you.

Ha-ha. Well, I'll see
you both later. Bye, bye.

Bye.

Have fun.

- Hi, Craig. Having fun?
- Yeah.

- Oh, hi, Lucy.
- Hi.

- Why don't you sit
next to the lobster pot?
- Lobster pot?

OK.

Oh, what a glorious day.

- And just what do you
think you're doing?
- I'm relaxing.

Oh, no, you don't.

You are my assistant.
You are here to help.

That's what I'm doing.
I'm helping you relax.

- Up on your feet. Come on.
- Oh, Harry.

There's work to be done.

But you're relaxing.

I am not relaxing.

I'm thinking about
today's social schedule.

Now, I planned the
hula lesson for the

passengers, and I want
you to give it to them.

But I don't anything
about the hula.

There are a lot of things you don't
anything about, but you do them anyway.

Besides, there's nothing to
the hula. All you do is wiggle.

Now, get going.
Passengers are waiting.

- OK. I'll get Kim and Craig to help me.
- Yeah.

How about you
taking a lesson, Viv?

You're going to teach
me to do the hula?

Oh, no. I'd rather relax.

Oh, come on, Viv.
Maybe you can help me.

- OK.
- I'll see you down there.

You are going to help her?

I'm very good at doing the hula.

Dum-te-dum-te-dum,
pum-pa-pa-pa, te-dup-te-dup, te-du-do.

Please, sit down.
You're rocking the boat.

Very funny.

Harry, while I'm gone, why don't you take
a walk around the ship... on the outside.

Aloha, everybody.

Aloha!

Well, I'm so happy to
see all of you here today.

- This is my daughter, Kim.
- Aloha.

- And this is my son, Craig.
- Hola.

And this is Johnny
Ukulele and the boys.

Now, do you, boys,
know any Hawaiian music.

Oh.

Well, now, now, now.

As you know, the traditional
dance of the islands is the hula.

How did the hula first start?

Well, now, that is a
very good question.

Ah, are there any answers?

Oh, well, since none of you
know the answer, I'll tell you.

The hula was originated
hundreds and hundreds of years ago

by a Queen Malakahula-kahula.

- Queen Malakahula-kahula?
- Yes.

Well, anyway the queen was standing under
a tree and a bug fell into her grass skirt.

And so she tried to
shake it off like this.

And she didn't get rid of the bug,
but she gave it a nervous breakdown.

Why do they wear grass
skirts when they do the hula?

Well, ah, since they had plenty of
grass on their farms, it was handy.

So, what they did was, they
put a crop of grass on this

side and they put another
crop of grass on this side,

and then they, ah, they
just rotated their crop.

Now, then, in the hula, every
movement has a meaning.

And the hands are
used to tell the story.

My daughter, Kim, will
demonstrate. Now, everybody watch.

Come on, everybody watch.

- Ah, Kim, you explain
the movements to them.
- All right.

This is the movement for ocean.

See the ocean. See those waves.

Rain.

Rain, beautiful Hawaiian rain.

Flowers.

Oh, poo, poo, see them
pop open in the sun.

Mountain.

Mountain, mountain.
Get your mountain up, Viv.

Mountain, high mountain.

Love.

Oh. Love, love, lots
of love. That's right.

And they lived
happily ever after.

And they lived happily
ever after. That's for the end.

What does that mean?

Oh, nothing. I had an itch.

Oh. Ha-ha.

Well, now, let's
put it all together.

Spread out a little. Give
yourselves plenty of room.

Kim will tell the story,
and we'll follow her.

OK, dear. A little
music, please.

♪♪

Get those hips moving.

Just let everything hang
loose and swing what's left.

Once upon a time on a faraway
ocean, there lived a rain princess.

One day, she met a prince who
brought her a garland of flowers.

And they climbed to the
top of a high mountain

where they pledged their undying
love, and lived happily ever after.

Oh, wonderful,
wonderful, wonderful.

- Now, do you want to do one more time?
- Yeah, yeah.

OK, OK. Look, puts
some pep into it, girl.

You hula like a tired duck.

Music, please.

♪♪

Get those hips up.
Get your hips out there.

- Once upon a time in a far away ocean...
- Ocean.

Lived a rain princess.
- Rain.

One day, the princess met a prince
who brought her a garland of flowers.

[fast paced music]

Hold it! Hold it!

- What are you doing?
- I'm rotating my crops.

It's more like you're
plowing them under.

You've had enough
sun, Lucille. On your feet.

How did you know I was
here? You were asleep.

You don't have to see a pain in
the neck to know that it's there.

You know, that's no way to talk to me after
all the work I had been doing for you.

You just show no
appreciation at all.

- What's to appreciate?
- Oh.

- Good afternoon.
- Oh.

Good afternoon, Captain.

- At ease, Carter.
- Oh.

I just want to tell you two what a splendid
job you've done with the passengers.

Oh, thank you, Captain.

Well, when I'm given an
assignment, I give it my all.

And mine too.

Well, I'm sure you'll do as
good a job with tonight's show.

Tonight's show?

Yes. You know, the farewell show

in which we use the talents
of the passengers and crew.

O-oh. Oh, that
show. Oh, ah, yeah.

Well, we have some great
plans for that, don't we, Lucille?

Oh, yes. Yes, sir,
Captain, great plans.

Tell him what they are, Harry.

Eh, well, uhm, we
thought we'd start out with...

No, no, no, don't tell me. I'd
rather be surprised tonight.

I'm sure in your capable hands it
will be an unforgettable evening.

Oh, you can bet your
bottom barnacle on that.

Carry on.

Why didn't you tell me
about tonight's show?

- I didn't know about it.
- "I didn't know about it."

- Well, I didn't.
- Well, you should have known about it.

- It's your job.
- Well, it's your job, too.

Oh, excuses, excuses,
always excuses.

Well, we better put
something together or

we're going to look
like a couple of idiots.

Well, don't blame me. I'm only
your assistant. You're the head idiot.

And don't you forget that.

Now, I'm going to leave this in your
hands, and you better do your duty.

Hmm. And where am I going to
find talent on such short notice?

- Well, you heard the captain, find it
among the crew and the passengers.
- Oh-oh-oh.

What are you going to be
doing while I'm digging up talent?

Eh, well, I'll be busy
working out the details

at... well, you stop
jabbering and get to work.

♪♪

[singing] Yellow beak up
high in the coconut tree.

Yellow beak that's
little old lonely me.

Always I fly alone
in the sky alone.

This is very sad,
makes me feel so bad.

Maybe I'm not a bird.

Some bird will come and say.

May I share your
branch in that tree?

Oh, how I long to hear the trill of
the nightingale or the whippoorwill.

As I fly off into the blue.

I'd even settle for the bell bone chirp of
the purple-bellied red roughed Kakai bird.

I would call to him,

and I can hear him
answer, "Kakai, kakai, kakai!"

Even in my wildest dreams,
I find myself under the wings

of the splintered beaked,
prickly feathered fievel bird.

And my feathers are
ruffled when I hear him say,

"Kakai, kakai, kai, kai, kai."

And even though I awake
and realize it's all a fantasy.

I still hope that [singing] maybe another
another day some bird will come my way

and share my coconut tree.

Ah-ah-ah.

Thank you. And now, ladies and
gentlemen, we are fortunate to have aboard

a talented and beautiful
teenager and her mother,

Kim and Lucille Carter.

♪♪

[Singing] Ukulele talk.

He goes for ukulele talk.

So I talk ukulele talk.

I whisper.

When we take a walk,
he begs for ukulele talk.

I give him ukulele
talk when I say.

Ukulele talking home, I
know he'll never want a roam

on land or sea or either boat.

He's bound to say
hot shot, hot shot.

Confidentially, if he
may take a tip from me,

just talk some ukulele talk.

And your baby, he'll
fall. Your baby, he'll fall.

When he takes a walk,
he begs for ukulele talk.

I give him ukulele
talk when I say...

We have our own Don h* aboard and here
he is; Craig Carter to sing Tiny Bubbles.

♪♪

[singing] Tiny
bubbles in the wine

make me happy,
make me feel fine.

Tiny bubbles make
me warm all over,

with a feeling that I'm going
to love you 'til the end of time.

So here's to the golden moon

and here's to the silver sea.

And mostly here's a
toast to you and me.

Everybody sing, come on.

Tiny bubbles [tiny bubbles]
in the wine [in the wine]

make me happy [make me
happy], make me feel fine.

[Tiny bubbles], Oh ale-e, [make
me warm all over] a-a-ah abe, oi, oi.

With a feeling that I'm going to love
you 'til the end of time [the end of time].

With a feeling that I'm going
to love you 'til the end of time.

♪♪

[Singing] Oh, you got to see
mama's newie, newie mumu

as she strolls along
the beach at Waikiki.

It's the biggest attraction
down in Honolulu

because it's loaded
with her personality.

Mama's mumu's like a nightgown
with a bulge that's out of date,

but she struts like Ms.
Hawaii at the age of 68.

Oh, you got to see
mama's newie, newie mumu.

It's a super duper
drooper of the year.

When you're trying on a diet
and you'd like to eat a horse.

Just take cover in the mumu...

and let nature take its course.

Oh, you got to see
mama newie, newie mumu.

It's a super duper
drooper of the year.

All right. Here is Kim
Carter back again to

do a native hula with
yours truly assisting.

It's called Keep Your
Eyes on the Hands.

You keep your eyes on her
hands and I'll watch the rest of her.

Here is Ms. Kim Carter.

♪♪

[Singing] Whenever you're
watching a hula girl dance,

you got to be careful
you're tempting romance.

Don't keep your eyes on her
hips, her naughty hula hips.

Just keep your
eyes on the hands.

Remember she's
telling a story to you.

Her ropa was swaying
but don't watch the view.

Don't concentrate on the
swing. It doesn't mean a thing.

Just keep your
eyes on the hands.

And when she goes around the
island, swinging hips so tantalizing

ah-ah-ah-ah, just keep
your eyes where they belong.

And when her grass skirt goes a-swishing
keep your head and don't go wishing

that you would like
to mow the lawn.

Your eyes are revealing,
you're fooling no one.

No use in concealing.
We're having some fun.

But if you're too young to
date and can't stay out too late,

just keep your eyes on the
hands. They tell the story.

Just keep your
eyes on the hands.

[Hula dance/song]