04x11 - Ginger Rogers Comes to Tea

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] Here's Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-starring Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

Yes Mrs. Metcalfe.

Now, don't worry. I'll take
care of everything for your party.

Thank you, Mrs. Metcalfe.

No, you don't.

What are you doing, Harry?

It's 5 o'clock. Time to go home.

Not tonight, it isn't.

We have to line up a staff
for Mrs. Met calf's party.

Harry, I'm busy tonight.

All you ever think about
is having a good time.

Why don't you think about
business once in a while?

They're having a Ginger Rogers
film festival at the Encore Theater

that starts tonight
at 6 o'clock.

- Ginger Rogers?
- Yeah!

They're running two of
her pictures each night.

Tonight is "Tender Comrade"
and "Flying Down to Rio."

If we hurry, we can grab a
hamburger and still get there on time.

You mean you're going with me?

Naturally!

Ginger Rogers is my idol!

I worship the very
ground she tap dances on.

I didn't know that.

Well, of course, why do
you suppose I never married?

I thought it was because
no one would have you.

Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.

Harry, what about your thinking
about business for a change?

When it comes to Ginger
Rogers, who cares about business?

We're going dutch, I presume.

No, no, no.

My treat.

You really do worship the
ground she tap dances on.

Oh yeah.

[Sings] Heaven, I'm in heaven,

and my heart beats so
that I can hardly speak.

And I seem to find
the happiness I seek.

When we're out together
dancing cheek to cheek.

They're bringing the
car around, Miss Rogers.

Thank you, Spike.

Spike, what did we
do with my wig box?

I think it's in the closet here.

Uh-huh.

Here it is.

Are you going to the movies
in your usual disguise?

Well, I can hardly go to a Ginger
Rogers film festival as Ginger Rogers.

They think I was on
some sort of ego trip,

which, of course, I am but there's
no use telling the whole world.

I'm surprised you never
saw "Flying Down To Rio".

Well, something always
came up when it was playing.

It's a fascinating movie.

As the picture opens,
it's carnival time in Rio

and this beautiful girl
is loved by two men

and she can't
decide between them.

So, while she's
trying to decide,

she dances the
karioka with one of them,

you know, [hums]
dadadadadadadu dum,

dadadada duh,

dadadada dudum dede.

Spike,

Spike I know. I was the girl.

Oh, that's right.

You know, I think it's about
time I bought a new wig.

This one's beginning to look
like a c*ck spaniel I used to own.

I don't know whether to
wear it or take it for a walk.

Yeah, yeah, actually.
Ginger Rogers.

Yeah.

Pardon me.

Hmm. Here we go.

Pardon me.

The picture's starting.

I forgot to get some popcorn.

Oh, well, here
take mine. Sit down.

You see, when I come to
a Ginger Rogers picture,

especially "Flying Down To Rio",

I don't like
anyone to interrupt.

Eat your popcorn.

Sharesies.

Oh!

Oh, that's great.

That picture is still
one of my favorites.

All of Ginger Rogers
pictures are my favorites.

She really is such
a wonderful dancer.

Yeah and she's so sexy.

She has a great figure.

Yeah. She can go flying
down to Rio with me anytime!

You know, I'd be the last person in
the world to say anything against her.

But in that last scene
that we just saw,

didn't you think she
overacted just a teensy bit?

Well, you certainly have
your nerve criticizing her!

Yes! How dare you!

Well, now, I have a right to
an opinion, if anybody does.

I've seen every
picture she ever made.

Well, I probably know
more about Ginger Rogers

than anybody else in the world!

I wouldn't be too
sure about that.

Oh? Just how big a fan are you?

Well, I'm probably the biggest
Ginger Rogers fan there is.

Oh really?

All right. Just how many times
have you seen "Flying Down To Rio"?

Well, actually,
this is my first time.

Hah!

I've seen it four times.

So, if I were you, I wouldn't go
around sh**ting off my mouth.

Look, It's my mouth and I
can sh**t it off when I please!

You mean you're not gonna
stay to see "Tender Comrade?"

No, and if it's any
of your business,

I've seen it and I don't
want to see it again.

Well, I guess those prove what
kind of taste you have in movies.

Why don't you come
back next week?

They might show
"Beach Blanket Bingo."

She's got a lot of
nerve talking like that.

Lucile, Lucille, try to
get hold of yourself.

After all, It's just a movie.

I know, but it was so sad.

I know.

What are you doing?

I lost one of my shoes.

Oh.

Harry, look what else I found.

Isn't that your purse?

No.

It must belong that snippy
woman that sat next to us.

We'll turn it in to the
manager's office on the way out.

Wait. Wait a minute,
wait a minute, not so fast.

Maybe we ought to return
it ourselves you know,

there might be a reward.

You never miss a chance
to make a buck, do you?

See if there is
any identification.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Well, let's see.
There's a compact.

Hotel key.

She's staying at
the Bel-Air Hotel.

Oh, good!

The reward just went up.

Here's a billfold.

Yeah, that will do it.

Oh, driver's license.

Her name is...

Ginger Rogers.

Oh, then all we have to
do is call the Bel-Air Hotel.

Ginger Rogers!

That woman was Ginger Rogers!

She must have been in disguise!

I hear movie stars do
that a lot, you know.

Well, there's just
one thing for me to do,

go to the hotel and
apologize to her.

Wait. At this hour?

Oh, that's true. I don't
want to get her out of bed.

I've antagonized her
enough for one night.

Well, I'll just drop
the purse by the hotel

on my way to the
office tomorrow.

Well, then, that's fine
except for one thing.

I'll drop it by on my way
to the office tomorrow.

But I want to meet her.

I want to meet her!

Oh, all right, I'll tell
you what we'd do.

I'll take the purse home and
I'll pick you up in the morning

and we'll go to
the hotel together.

No. No.

I'll take the purse home and
pick you up in the morning

and we'll go to
the hotel together.

Well, we better make a decision

unless you want to be
locked in here all night.

All right. What will it be?

Well, we don't trust
each other, right?

That's right.

Well, then take the
purse to the office tonight,

put it in my safe, and I'll meet
you at 9 o'clock in the morning

and we'll take it to
Miss Rogers together.

Nine o'clock in the morning?

Nine.

Alright, I'll buy that.

- Ah-huh.
- Ahh!

Of all the sneaky things to do

so that you could be
alone with Ginger Rogers.

You ought to be ashamed!

You were here early too!
You're just as sneaky as I am!

Not at all!

I just happen to be
in the neighborhood.

Well, I came and it
was early and I came...

We're a couple
of dirty sneakers.

You're right.

Well, I'll take this first to Miss
Rogers so you get to work.

Oh no, you don't! I'm not
doing work until 9 o'clock.

- I'll take it to her.
- I'll take it to her.

Harry, it was my idea
to go to the film festival.

But I paid for the ticket!

- I'll take it to her.
- I'll take it to her!

All right, Harry,
you take it to her.

Oh no, you don't!

I'll tell you what
we'll have to do.

We better call Miss Rogers
and tell her we found her purse

so she won't worry about it

and that we'll return
it this afternoon.

Meanwhile, I'll
have it repaired.

Call her now! Call
her. Call her now.

- Bel Air Hotel?
- Yeah, Bel Air, that's right.

Bel Air.

Ooh.

I don't want to
wake her at this hour.

Movie stars don't
answer their own phones.

They have secretaries
and maids to do it for them.

Oh!

Why do you think I
let you make the call?

I should have known.

Miss Ginger
Rogers' suite, please.

Hello?

Hello.

My name is Lucy Carter and I'd
like to speak to Miss Rogers please.

At this hour?

Sorry, she's not up.

I'm her secretary.
May I help you?

Well, I found Miss Rogers'
purse in the theater last night.

We found.

Oh good.

She was so upset
when she came home.

She not only lost her purse but she
had a very unpleasant experience.

She sat next to
a real ding-a-ling.

Oh, well, you get one of
those every once in a while.

I think it's the
times we're living in,

you know, violence in the
street, full moon and all that.

Oh, will you give me that phone?

Anyway, I thought, I'd bring
the purse over this afternoon.

- We!
- Shh!

And give it to Miss Rogers
personally, if that's all right?

Ask about the reward!

I'm sorry but Miss Rogers
won't be here this afternoon.

She has a lunch date and then
she's going right to the airport

and leaving for New York.

Oh.

Could you possibly
bring it by this morning?

No. I mean that's impossible.

Oh. Well, I could
send a messenger for it

but I'm sure Miss Rogers would
want to thank you in person.

Oh, yes, I'm sure she would.

Oh, I have an idea.

I just happen to live between
the hotel and the airport

perhaps, Miss Rogers could
stop by on her way to the plane?

Very well. What is your address?



Good. You can
expect her about 2:30.

Hurray!

I mean, that will
be fine. Goodbye.

Harry, just imagine,

we're gonna meet
Ginger Rogers face to face.

- My wildest dream come true!
- Yes.

Oh!

Ooh! I better get
this fixed right away.

Yeah, yeah. Hurry Harry, hurry.

I didn't know you knew
the combination to my safe.

Hello.

Mother, what is all this?

And what are you
all dressed up for?

This is what I always wear
when we have afternoon tea.

We never have afternoon tea.

I know but this is what
I wear when we do.

Mother, what is going on?

Ginger Rogers is
coming by to get her purse

that Uncle Harry and I
found in the movie last night.

- Ginger Rogers!
- Yes!

- Oh, isn't it exciting?
- Yes.

Honey, would you run down
to the drug store for me?

I saw her picture
in a frame there.

- I want her to
autograph it for me.
- Oh, all right.

See if you can get the picture
without buying the frame.

Okay.

And listen, while you're
at it, get two or three.

I know Harry will want one.

Is Uncle Harry coming too?

Yeah, he'll be here any minute.

He's having Miss
Rogers purse repaired.

- Now, hurry up. Hurry up.
- All right. Okay.

Hello. I'm Ginger Rogers.

Who else?

I mean, come in.

Good grief! It's
the ding-a-ling!

Yes, I'm afraid it is.

And I'm certainly glad to have
this opportunity to apologize

for last night.

I wouldn't have said those
things to you for the world.

Well, I suppose if I'm going to
wear a disguise to the movie,

I'm going to have
to take my lumps.

Well, now, you're
certainly nice to say that.

I can't tell you how
thrilled I am to meet you.

I'm Lucy Carter and I...

You just flunked
the white glove test.

Oh yes. I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Come right here.

Oh please, forgive me.

Oh, what a terrible thing.

Oh, Miss Rogers, forgive me.

That's alright, you know.

Would you sit down
and have a cup of tea?

Well, I'm sorry. I'm afraid
I haven't time for tea.

You see, I'm catching a plane
and if you'll just give me my purse,

I'd like to give you
some sort of reward.

Oh, well, if you'll
just have tea with me

that will be all the
reward that I want.

Well, what can I say?

You know, it just
gives me goose bumps

when I think I'm sitting here
with someone who had starred

in 72 movies.

But if you'd like one
more bump, it was 73.

Oh, 73!

Oh sugar?

- Please.
- Yeah.

You know, I've seen every one of
those pictures you did with Fred Astaire.

There was "Top
Hat" and "Roberta"

and "Flying Down to
Rio" and "Follow the Fleet"

and "Shall We Dance" and
"The Barkley's of Broadway" and...

Oh dear.

I'm afraid... I'm afraid I
put too much sugar in it.

- That is too much, isn't it?
- Yes.

Yeah, well, let me
pour you another cup.

I'm terribly sorry.

Now, how many lumps
would you really like?

"Top Hat" and "Roberta".

Oh. There we are.

Now, then, how
about some cookies?

Oh! Oh! Good heavens!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I'll pour you some more tea.

No, no, no. Please,
please, please,

I... I really have to go and
get my... and get my plane.

Well, if you could...

Oh dear.

I'm terribly sorry.
How clumsy of me.

Oh dear.

Oh, good heavens.

What happened?

Well, it'll go right back
on. It'll go right back on.

Let me see.

Good. It's going.

That makes two of us.

Please, may I have my purse?

Oh, well, there's something you
ought to know about your purse.

Yes?

I don't have it.

If you don't have my purse,

then why am I playing
Alice in Wonderland

at this mad tea party?

Uh, well, I did have your purse,

you see, but my brother-in-law
Harry and I quarreled

over who was gonna return it
to you and we tore the handle.

So, he's having it fixed
and he'll be here any minute.

Well, this is a fine mess!

I was counting on having
my billfold and my credit cards.

And now, I suppose I'll
have to take a later plane

and fly all night,
which I loathe.

And then I'll be so tired I'll
have to cancel my luncheon

tomorrow with David Merrick

which will probably mean that I
won't be able to do his new musical!

Wow! No wonder, you
won the Academy Award.

You sure can act mad!

Who's acting?

Well, you don't have to get mad
about your billfold and credit cards.

I have those right here.
All Harry has is the purse.

Now, she tells me.

Yeah. And, by the way, your
driver's license expires next week.

Well, apparently, Charlie Brown
isn't the only one who has a Snoopy.

Uhm.

Oh, hi darling.

Miss Rogers, this
is my daughter, Kim.

Hi!

- Glad to meet you, Kim.
- And nice to meet you.

Kim has some pictures of you.

I was hoping you'd autograph
them just this one last favor.

Hell, why stop now?

Oh, thank you, right
over here, Miss Rogers.

I'll get the phone, dear.

Hello?

Is she still there?

Yes, but you better hurry

or you're going to
miss you know who.

If I miss "You know who"

guess who won't have to show
up again at you know where!

Harry! I...

There, all signed.

Oh, thank you.

Although, I don't know why you wanted
me to autograph a picture of Lassie.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I
must have grabbed the

wrong picture out of the
frame at the drug store.

Well, it was a natural mistake.

After all, we do
look quite a bit alike.

Oh.

That was Harry. He's on his way.

He'll be here any
minute with your purse.

I'm sorry but I cannot wait.

Oh, but you can't go now.

I have a plane to catch!

Yeah, well just let
me say one thing.

There is no way you can keep
me from going out that door.

Well, I just felt maybe
you'd dance for me.

I think you're the best
dancer in the whole world

and I really do...

What kind of dance
did you have in mind?

Oh!

How about doing the Charleston?

I happen to know that you're
the Texas state champion.

But I thought only my
mother knew about that!

How about it? How about it?

Okay, but I don't
have any music.

Oh yes, you do!

♪♪

Yeah!

Now, I really must go.

Oh, I don't suppose you'd like
to do a scene from "Kitty Foyle."

No, I don't suppose I would

but I thank you for a
most interesting afternoon.

Will you do me a favor?

Oh, anything!

Please, please become
a Katharine Hepburn fan.

Well, take a last look
at the house, Kim.

What do you mean by that?

I won't be able to
afford it pretty soon.

Harry said if he didn't get to
meet Ginger Rogers, I was fired.

Oh.

Harry, she just left.
Did you see her?

From the look on
his face, I think he did.

I just met Ginger Rogers.

Oh, thank goodness.

Well, what's in the
paper bag, Harry?

Ginger Rogers' purse.

Ginger Rogers' purse!

Oh! Oh, I was
just giving it to you.

When I was just
coming to get it.

Thank you, Harry.

Ginger Rogers kissed me!

[sings] I'm in heaven.

I'm in heaven!