04x15 - Lucy's Lucky Day

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Here's Lucy,

starring Lucille Ball.

Co-starring Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

Oh!

Good morning, mother!

Oh, do you have to be
so cheerful in the morning?

Oh, I'm sorry. Good
morning, grumpy!

That's better, good morning.

Well mother, looks like I
won't be able to do the shopping

at the market
for dinner tonight.

Why not?

My horoscope,

it says today can be
financially unfavorable,

avoid investments in the market.

Well, you better go
to the market dear,

unless you want to
avoid eating dinner.

Hey, you wanna
hear your horoscope?

No, you know I don't
believe in that stuff.

Oh, but Mom, these
horoscopes are right lots of times.

Let's see now, you're
a Leo the lion right?

Yeah, I'm Leo the lion, raaah!

Here it is! Here it is! Listen!

"Good things will
happen to you today.

The stars are in their
most favorable positions."

I hope that means that one of
them is gonna drop on Uncle Harry.

Don't knock it, Mother;

according to astrology
this is your lucky day.

Forget it! I don't
believe in that stuff,

to me that's a superstition
I am not superstitious.

What are you laughing at?

What you just did.

What did I did?

Well, you spilled the salt and you
threw some over your left shoulder.

Where am I supposed to throw it?

Mother, throwing spilled
salt over your left shoulder

is an old superstition.

Not with me it's
just an old habit.

Oh, you're superstitious
and you know it!

I am not.

Uh-oh!

Library says that I have a book
I borrowed and it's long overdue.

Oh.

I better return that.

What book was it?

Gone With The Wind.

Gone With The Wind!
When did you borrow it?

Oh, when it first came out.

Mother, that was
over thirty years ago!

- Really?
- Yeah!

Oh!

You've had it so
long it's moldy!

Look, there's something
green growing out of it.

Mother, it's a 20 dollar bill!

Wow!

Welcome home Andrew Jackson!

Mom, you see your
horoscope was right.

This is your lucky day!

Oh c'mon, I put the
money there the stars didn't.

Oh, well what are you doing?

Looking for more
money what else!

- You see.
- Hello anybody home!

Oh yeah, we're on here
Mr. Larson in the living room!

- Mrs. Carter!
- Yeah.

Great news!

You'll never guess what
happened! You'll never guess!

Elsa the cow had triplets!

Oh, you're teasing!

But this is really
big, Mrs. Carter.

You're the Dairy's
customer of the year!

I am?

You were drawn out
of the big milk can!

I didn't even know
I was in there!

Yep and you won our special
of the week for a whole year!

Well, just what is the
special of the week?

Raspberry-Apricot yogurt

and you get a free
pint every week!

Oh, fine thank you.

You're so lucky!

- Yeah.
- Yeah, this is mother's lucky day!

Who could that be at
this time in the morning?

Oh, it's probably Howard
Hughes with a basket full of money.

Coming!

Good morning!

Oh, my lucky day, huh.

What was that?

Nothing, come in, Harry!

Oh, well I just dropped by
to give you a little present.

- A present?
- Uh-hum.

Your old portable typewriter?

Well, I hardly
touch it at home so-

Oh well, thank you very much I
guess I can get some use out of it.

Oh! And speaking of use I
have a little homework for you.

I want you to type up copies of
these and have them ready tomorrow.

Now, I might have known
there was a catch to it.

If you gave somebody a worm
you'd want the wiggle back.

This is supposed
to be my lucky day.

Well, now maybe it is.

You don't have to
come to the office.

I'm giving you the day off.

Oh, I thought you were expecting
a very important client today.

That's precisely why
I'm giving you the day off.

I told him I run a tight ship

and I didn't want him to
see what a nutty crew I have.

Well, goodbye, Lucille.

Goodbye, Harry,

Oh, Harry.

Um, would you mind returning
this to the library for me

its right on your way?

Gladly!

Yeah, oh Harry it might
be a day or so overdue.

For 10 or 15 cents.

Be my guest.

Goodbye, Harry.

Mom, Mr. Larson
has a groovy idea!

- What it is?
- Oh!

Oh, tonight why don't you
go to my company's TV show

the Milky Way to Riches.

What for?

Well, if this is your lucky day

maybe you'll be
picked as a contestant.

Yeah, you know, Mom you
watch the show all the time

they give away all
those fabulous prizes!

Yeah, yeah I know I've seen it.

Alright but, where could we
get tickets at the last minute?

From your friendly
neighborhood milkman,

I can get you tickets
anytime you want.

Well, they must think
a lot of you at that dairy.

They should, I was number


Well, congratulations!

Listen, Mr. Larson
could we have 3 tickets?

Sure!

Why do we want 3 tickets?

Well, Uncle Harry
might wanna come along.

Uncle Harry!

- Yes. Uncle Harry.
- Well, okay, okay we'll take 3.

Thank you.

My pleasure!
Anytime! Anytime at all!

Okay, thank you, Mr. Larson.

Oh! I almost forgot!

- What?
- Good luck tonight!

Well, thank you!

Gee Mom, you really might win
something if it's your lucky day!

Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I'm your host d*ck Dunkirk!

Yes!

Yes, you're so right and I
wanna welcome all of you

to my favorite TV show
the Milky Way to Riches!

Yea!

And now in just a few minutes

we're going to be going
on the air but right now,

I'm coming up into the studio
audience to pick out my contestants!

Huh! Now let's see
who do we pick?

Huh!

Who would like a
barrel for the money!

Or what about color TV!

What about a trip to Europe?

Oh! We have fantastic prizes!

Anybody back here wanna carry
all my baby grand piano, huh?

What about a 30-foot boat, with
not two, not two but one motor!

And what about a 1
karat diamond pendant

with matching earrings
that's for the men!

We got that-

Hello!

I thought I felt a
little bite on my line.

Why did you do that?

Cause I'm pushy and I
wanna get on your show.

That's an honest answer!

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Oh! Would you really?

This is your Milky
Way to Riches!

And this is d*ck Dunkirk
presenting our first contestant

from right here in Los Angeles;

let's have a nice
welcome for Lucille Carter!

Welcome! Welcome
to Milky Way to Riches!

Thank you!

You know, you were very anxious
to get on my show this evening

may I presume it's because
that you're a big fan of mine?

Oh, yes!

I never miss your
program Mr. Kirkwood.

Dunkirk.

Oh, oh I'm sorry.

Oh, that's quite
alright, Lucille.

Do you mind if I
call you Lucille?

Of course not, Mr. Dunwood.

That's Kirk! I mean Duncake!

Dunkirk!

What do you, Lucille?

When?

I mean, what do
you do for a living?

Oh! I'm a private secretary.

Oh really?

Are you uh, are you a good one?

Well, I don't have to be I
work for my brother in law.

Well, I can see you
have a sense of humor!

Now let's find out how smart you
are, are you ready for the questions?

Yes, sir!

Okay now, what
category do you pick?

Uh, Geography that was
my best subject in school.

Oh um, what year
did you graduate?

In nineteen thir...

In my last year.

Well, that's close enough!

Alright Lucille,
here are our rules,

I'm gonna ask you
three questions,

if you answer all three correctly
you'll get a chance at the lucky door!

Gee this is exciting!

Yes it is and now here
is your first question

to your Milky Way to
Riches and good luck!

Okay.

Lucille, where is the lowest
point in the world below sea level?

Oh boy! I'm dead see.

Dead Sea! Dead
Sea! That's right!

Yes! Way to go, Lucille!

But now...

Oh, you're doing beautifully
here's your second question!

Now listen closely,

the Dead Sea is part of
the border between Jordan

and what other country?

Uh-oh, that question
is real tough.

What was that?

That question is real tough.

Israel! Israel, that's right!

Gee, I didn't realize
how smart I was!

Oh, you're doing
beautifully, Lucille!

- And now here's
your third question.
- Oh!

Answer this correctly and
you're on your threshold

to your Milky Way to Riches!

Yeah, okay.

Now take your time on this one,

- it's a real toughie!
- Oh.

It's an autonomous
region of China

that is bordered by China
on the North and East,

by India on the South

and Kashmir on the West,

name this Chinese
autonomous region?

And I wanted to bet I'd win.

You went to what?

- To bet.
- Tibet!

You're on the threshold
to the Milky Way to Riches!

Did I win the whole thing?

Well, we'll soon find out
because right now Lucille Carter

- this is your big moment!
- Oh!

- Right behind us here
are three doors!
- Yeah!

- Behind one of those doors is a
very valuable piece of merchandise!
- Yes!

Behind another
is big pile of cash!

Well, I'm glad you said cash.

I need cash.

Yes, we all need cash!

And behind the other
door is the gag prize!

Well, I, I hope
my luck holds up.

Oh, Mom! It will! It will!

Alright Lucille, which door
are you going to open?

Which one will be your
Milky Way to Riches?

Yeah! Yeah!

Number 1!

No! No! No!

Oh! Uncle Harry, don't confuse
her she's on a winning streak!

Go Mother go! Go!

Well, Lucille...

Lucille Carter, I must tell you
that you have won our gag prize.

And I want you to meet Jackie.

Well I'm glad to
know you Jackie.

You mean, she's mine.

Well uh, just
for a little while,

- you see Jackie's going to be
your house guest for one week.
- Oh.

That won't be an
imposition will it?

No, no my brother in law Harry
stayed with us longer than that.

But I must tell you that Jackie
here is completely untrained.

Oh, at least Harry
was housebroken.

No, Jackie is housebroken
but like I say she's untrained.

Now, you take her home and
if you can teach her one trick,

any trick at all I'll
give you $1,000.

- Uh! $1,000!
- Right!

You come back on
the show next week

and let Jackie do her trick

and the thousand
dollars is all yours!

Oh, thank you!
Thank you very much!

C'mon, Jackie!

Okay. let's hear it for Lucille
Carter and her house guest Jackie!

We'll see you next
week. Bye-bye!

Alright now, Jackie baby

I'm gonna do it
again pay attention.

- Alright, Jackie!
- C'mon, Jackie!

Here we go! Jackie wee!

Wee! Wee!

Stay Jackie just watch!

Watch, Jackie!

Watch! Watch!

Oh, you want, she
wants to do it now.

She's wants, she's trying now
Mom, I can see she's trying.

- Okay, alright, now stand up.
- Here we go!

And here we go,
c'mon get all ready.

Ready?

- Now hold on to her and then
she can skate over to me.
- Alright.

- Hold on to her.
- Alright here we go!

On your mark, set, go!

Oh, Jackie!

It's kind of hard for
the first time, mom.

- You know, you gotta...
Yeah, c'mon, now c'mon.

I think she's got it now,
she's got the weight going.

Alright, c'mon, baby!

C'mon!

Oh mother, she doesn't
know what to do with them.

Jackie.

Oh, look mom, she's falling
out of her skates and everything.

Yeah, they're heavy
on her and everything.

Now I tell you what
you take those off

and I'll do the
hula hoop for her.

Alright you wanna
play with the hula hoop?

Look, Jackie. Now
you watch this, look!

Look at this! Watch!

Look here you
take your hula hoop.

- Look, Jackie! Look, look.
- Stay there!

- Watch, watch, watch Kim!
- That a girl!

- Watch Kim! Watch Kim!
- She's not watching.

Look at me. Look! Look! Yes!

- Do the same thing, Jackie!
- Here we go, Jackie. Look!

C'mon! Look! Look! Here we go!

C'mon! Look at this.

Atta girl!

C'mon, Jackie!

She's not trying to do
it, she's just playing.

Maybe if we... Oh!

Jackie, get up and
try with this thing.

Now c'mon!

No, Jackie. You can
only take one at a time.

C'mon try with me.

Oh!

Take my skates off.

Here we go, Jackie. Atta girl!

Atta girl!

No way, no way, she's not, she's
not even paying any attention to you.

I just give up, she's never
gonna learn a trick you know.

Oh, Mother! Don't give up yet!

For three days already

we haven't been able to
teach her a single thing!

She won't ride the tricycle,
she doesn't wanna jump rope,

she doesn't pay attention
to the roller skates,

she doesn't want anything
to do with the hula hoop.

- Well.
- This is not a trick, you know.

I though Uncle Harry was
supposed to come over and help us.

Yeah, he said he had some big
genius idea on how to train her,

I'll bet he doesn't even show.

Well, Mom why
don’t you try the stilts.

Again?

- Oh.
- Oh well c'mon mother
it's worth a thousand dollars!

That's the secret word.

C'mon, mom;
give it one more try!

Alright Jackie, will
you pay attention now?

Jackie, c'mon now!

Jackie pay attention!

Jackie pay attention now take
the hula hoop away from her!

Alright, okay, it's gone.

Pay attention now, Jackie!

- Jackie, stay!
- Oh now, mother!

Now don't trip me up!

Now get her
stilts! Get her stilts!

Maybe she wants to learn.

Now get your
stilts, get your stilts!

Hang on to her! Hang on to her!

Here we go! Here we go!

Get her stilts!

- You know why Mom cause she's
so excited she wants to try it now.
- Yeah!

- I know she's gonna do this!
- Okay, okay, alright!

See, I told you if you tried
the stilts that would work!

Alright, c'mon, Jackie!

You see, I knew she's
gonna do this here.

- See this is more her style
it's like climbing a tree!
- That's right!

- There!
- She's doing it!

- I know! I know!
- She's doing it.

- She were!
- Okay!

Hang on now! Hang on!

- Atta girl!
- Come on, Jackie.

Now stay up there!

Here we go!

- You gotta hang on.
- Hang on, Jackie. Hang on!

- Hang on, Jackie!
- C'mon Jackie walk over here!

No on the stilts, Jackie!

There not crutches, Jackie!

- Maybe if we glued her hands and feet...
- No, that's cheating.

- Well.
- Jackie, that is not a trick.

Oh, I give up, Kim. I
don't know what to do.

There must...

Wait a minute, mom.

- I think I've got a way of
getting through to her.
- What?

Maybe she's just
not used to humans.

Now you just wait here
and hold her on the couch

I got to make an entrance.

Oh, wait minute.
Wait until I get there.

Oh stay. Stay, Jackie.

C'mon now we'll find
something for you to play with.

Oh, she recognizes you alright!

Here! Here!

We need to make
her jump rope, c'mon!

C'mon, Jackie!

Yeah!

Jump rope, Jackie!

No, don't hang on it.
Jump. Jump, Jackie!

Jump rope.

- I don't think that's a trick!
- Hold it. Hold it.

We're doing this trick real well
and she's not learning a thing.

Yeah, alright I've had it.

- I have had it!
- Me too!

A thousand dollars
down the drain.

Oh, this time I have had it too.

Let me tell you something,

I no longer believe that
saying, "Monkey see monkey do"

Mother I'm so thirsty I'm gonna
get a glass of milk, you want one?

No thanks.

How about you, Jackie?

You're not waiting for
her to answer you are you?

I guess not!

C'mon, Jackie. Oh!

Now let her near
that fruit bowl!

I know she's eaten three
bananas and seven oranges!

Eating us out of a
house and home.

It's about time,
Harry. C'mon in!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

King Kong scared
the daylights out of me!

For heaven sakes!

Well, I'm sorry but I'm
working on the theory

if you can't lick 'em join em!

Now look, I thought that if
little Jackie might do a trick

if she sees a
fellow ape doing it!

Yeah we already tried that

- but I've got to admit you've gone
a little more ape than we did.
- I'll say.

But now wait a minute mom,
we didn't try it with a costume

and that'll give her the
right incentive I think,

- you know, if she saw him.
- Yeah, yeah, now I tell you what.

Alright, go get her! Go get her!

- I'll ride the tricycle.
- Yeah, put your head in.

Yeah I'll put my hand on,

there we are, now.

Oh, this is a good. I
know it's gonna work.

Hey Harry, you know, you
should let your hair grow

you look much better that way.

- Here she is now.
- Hey Jackie a relative of yours!

Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ooh! Ooh!

Watch it, Watch your Uncle Kong!

Look it, Jackie! Look at him!

Watch him!

- Look, she's fascinated!
- Yeah, she's fascinated.

- Better go on!
- C'mon, c'mon, Jackie!

- Now, you c'mon.
- Oh, look!

Oh, look she got it!

It's gonna work!
It's gonna work!

Now ride the bicycle,
ride the tricycle!

Ride the tricycle, Jackie!

Atta girl! Atta girl!

- Go!
- Go, Jackie!

- Atta girl!
- Go, Jackie!

Faster!

Oh, oh, she's not
learning any tricks

I think she's falling
in love with you!

- Jackie.
- Oh dear!

Jackie, will you
get on, on the bike?

- Oh, she's crazy.
- Do you know what she thinks,

I'm her mother.

Oh, look at that.

C'mon, Jackie!

Okay, Jackie!

Oh, you should be Fred Astaire

we got another
Ginger Rogers here!

Oh, mom! She can dance!

Look at that!

Now folks remember last week.

Our gag prize was an
untrained Chimpanzee

and it was won by a lovely red
head by the name of Lucille Carter.

Well now, Lucille didn't teach
Jackie to jump rope or ride a bicycle

or anything like that,

but she did find a certain
special talent in Jackie.

So right now ladies and gentlemen
it is my pleasure to introduce

Jackie the Chimp and Company!

[Sings] While strolling
in the park one day,

in the very merry month of May,

I was taken by surprise,

by a pair of roguish eyes,

while strolling in
the park one day.

While strolling in
the park one day,

I met this little
doll on the way;

she was very, very shy,

like a whirling butterfly,

while strolling in
the park one day.

Oh tell me pretty maiden are
there anymore at home like you

There are a few, kind sir,

but simple girls and proper too,

Oh tell me pretty maiden
what this very simple girlies do?

Daisy, Daisy, give
me your answer do,

I'm half-crazy oh
for the love of you,

it won't be a stylish marriage

but you look sweet upon the
seat of a bicycle built for two.

It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,

but you look sweet,
upon the seat...

Lucille Carter and
Jackie. Come out here!

Wonderful! Wonderful, Lucille!

Wonderful!

Hey Lucille I'm very happy to
say that you have won the $1,000.

Oh, thank you.

What do you have to say?

I want to thank my little
dancing partner Jackie

and I want to thank
my fifth grade teacher

for all she taught me
in Geography and uh-

Alright, alright! Alright! This
isn't the academy awards!

Thank you, Mr. Kirkdun!

Dunkirk!