05x03 - Harrison Carter, Male Nurse

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Here's Lucy.

Starring: Lucille Ball.

Co-starring: Gale Gordon

and Lucie Arnaz.

Oh, Harry, how does this look?

Oh, they're lovely, dear.

You know, Lucy was supposed
to be here 15 minutes ago.

Yeah. She is even late when
she comes home from the hospital.

[Indistinct conversation]

The doorbell.

The bell! The Bell!

She's here! She's here!

Welcome home!

There she is.

Mom!

Oh, Lucy.

Welcome home!

Hi there.

What a welcome.

How'd she get in here?

What a welcome.

Now simmer down, everybody.

Lucille, before they
take you up to your room,

I want you to hear the
schedule that I've worked out.

Schedule?

Yes.

To save you the expense
of hiring trained nurses,

we are all going to take turns.

Oh... that's so
sweet of all of you.

Now, what are friends for.

Oh thank you.

Now then, I'll take the
first trip 8 a.m. to 12 noon,

then I'll go to the office.

Now, Kim, dear, you only
have classes in the morning,

so you take the


And Vanda when you get off work,
you take from 6 p.m. until 10 p.m.

And Mary Jane, you
will have the night shift

from 10 p.m. until


Uncle Harry, we should
get mama up on the bed now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, so she
mustn't overdo the first day.

All right, fellows, will
you take off now, please.

[Indistinct conversation]

Listen! Don't drop her.

Take it easy now.

Thank you for that
wonderful welcome.

I love the sign.

We hope you love your room too.

I love it. I just
love being home.

Oh, listen, mom. I
will be up in a minute.

I have to bring the
blackboard in from the kitchen.

Blackboard? For what?

So you can write, "I'll
never go skiing again.

I'll never go skiing again.
I'll never go skiing again."

Well...

There you are.

Oh, Harry, what a lovely lunch.

I can't get over how
nice you're being to me.

I can't either.

I guess... I... I must be
coming down with something.

Well, whatever it is you make
perfect Florence Nightingale.

All right, never mind.

I'll be downstairs
in the living room

- waiting for Kim
to take the second shift.
- OK.

Oh and if you want
anything, just ring the bell.

- Oh, OK. Thank you.
- Right.

Yes, Lucille.

I hate to bother you,
Harry, but you forgot the salt.

Does the chicken
salad need salt?

Well, I don't know. I
haven't tasted it yet.

Then, how did you
know it needs salt?

Well, we use always salt
everything before I taste it.

Well, I think you will be
sorry. I seasoned it a lot.

Um, just get the salt, Florence.

Salt.

Thank you, Harry.

Thank you very much.

Hmmm.

I told you. I told you.

Oh, no, no... that...
that is your fault, Harry.

You put in too much
salt in the first place.

Could I have some
more chicken salad?

All right.

I'll make some for you.

Oh, well, now that's
too much trouble.

I know.

My, that was fast?

It looks kind of funny.

I know.

There wasn't
anymore, so I washed it.

You washed it?

What's the harm?

After all chickens
stays out in the rain.

Now, do you need anything
else while I'm still here?

No, thank you. I'm
just fine now, Flossy.

Oh, ting-a-ling yourself.

Harry, you forgot
the lemon for my tea.

Lemon for the tea.

Thank you, Harry, you're a doll.

Oh, I'm a doll, all right,

running up and down those stairs

is making the stuffing
come out of my legs.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Kim, dear.

Where are you?

Oh, no. The transmission
when out again?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Well, I don't see why that's a reason
you have to stay at the dorm all night.

No. Just take a
cab. I'll pay for it...



Stay at the dorm. Stay. Stay.

Don't worry, dear. I'll take
care of everything here.

Yes, goodbye, goodbye.

Oh.

Hello, Vanda.

Harrison Carter here.

I was wondering... oh, you
were just going to call me.

Uh-huh.

Oh! Oh, you're right.

You shouldn't be around
Lucille when you have a bad cold.

No, no.

We've got to get her on
her feet as fast as we can.

But don't worry, Vanda, I'll
get Mary Jane to come early.

Gesundheit.

Goodbye.

Hello, Mary Jane? Harry here.

Yes, this is the head nurse.

Mary Jane, I was wondering
if you could come early tonight.

You see Kim and Vanda...

You... you... you have
to go to Santa Barbara

because your boss
is trying a case.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've
heard about bosses.

They take their
secretaries on trips.

Well, it was just a
little joke, Marry Jane.

Well, I'm glad
I'm still smiling.

My staff of nurses
is falling apart.

I'm stuck with
Swiss bell ringer.

Well, I guess now know
for whom the bell tolls.

Bye.

What kept you?

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Oh, help me I'm going
to disconnect her clapper.

Oh, no, not another
of glass of milk.

Good for your
bone, doctor's orders.

Oh, doctor's orders.

Lucille, will you please drink
your milk so I can go to bed.

I'm exhausted.

I'm sick of milk.

- No, you are not.
- Yes, I am.

No, you are not.
Everybody likes milk.

Pat Boone likes milk.

Dear Abby likes milk.

Vida Blue likes milk.

Good, then they
can all have mine.

Lucille, you are being childish.

- Come on, drink your milk.
- No.

- Open your mouth
and drink your milk.
- No.

- You've got to drink your milk.
- Uh-mmm.

Lucy... Lucille. Lucille,
you open your mouth.

Open wide. Open wide, Lucille!

Open...

Oh, Harry, I'm sorry I
didn't mean to do that.

That's all right.

I will always sleep better

when I go to bed with a
little milk on my stomach.

Well, at least it's low fat so
your pajamas won't gain weight.

Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, where is your
sense of humor?

I'm off duty. I don't have
to have a sense of humor.

Goodnight, Tinker Bell.

What do you want
to poor on me now?

Harry, I'm not sleepy because
I took a long nap today.

Well, bully for you.

Well, I was wondering if you
would like to play Scrabble.

Are you out of your mind?

Oh, just one teensy little
short game, just for road.

I feel as if I'm lying face
down in the road all ready.

Oh, come on, Harry, please.

All right.

Good.

Just one game.

One game.

- On one condition.
- What's that?

Winner gets the bell.

Whatever you say, Harry.

- Anyway, this will give
my jammies a chance to dry.
- That's right.

Come on now, take seven.

- Take seven.
- Take seven goodies.

Whoa! I won again.

Seven games for
me and two for you.

I get to keep the bell.

Want to play another game?

Yeah, but this time we'll
play my favorite game.

Oh, what's that?

It's called Hit The Sack.

Oh, Harry, you don't really
want to go bed, do you?

Of course not.

It's just something I do
every night to humor my body.

But Harry, I'm not sleepy yet.

Couldn't you just
stay awhile and chat?

Chat?

Lucille, I'm exhausted.

OK, Harry, go
ahead. Go to sleep.

Go on.

After all why should you
care about a poor little invalid.

Oh boy.

I wonder if Flossy Nightingale
had to put up with things like this.

All right... all right. What
do you want to chat about?

Well, let see now.

Would you like to discuss
what water pollution is doing

to our ecological balance?

Oh, I'm afraid I don't
know very much about that.

Good. Neither do I.

Uh, have you seen
any good movies lately?

None that I can discuss
in mixed company.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Say, have you
read the best seller

David Nevin's The
Moon is a Balloon?

No.

Have you read Agatha
Christie's Nemesis?

No.

How about Black Beauty?

That I read.

Oh, wasn't that exciting
when the barn caught fire?

I didn't get that far.

Do you want to
know how it ended?

Not especially, no...

Do you know anything
about acupuncture?

Acuwhature?

Forget it.

Well, if there's nothing
more to chat about,

I think I'll go to bed.

I know.

Let's talk about
when we were kids.

You know, Harry, my leg is not
the first bone that I ever broke.

Yeah, I remember one time.

I was jumping up and down on
the bed, you know, like kids do.

And my mother told me not to
do it, but, of course, I didn't listen.

I just kept getting
higher and higher

I can almost touch the ceiling.

When all of a sudden,
for no reason at all,

I took a bad bounce
and fell right on the floor

and broke my arm.

Right...

Coming... coming, Lucille.

Coming. Coming,
Lucille... oh... oh.

Harry, it is very rude to fall asleep
while someone is telling a story.

Now, I was just getting to
the part where I broke my arm.

Oh, I'm sorry I missed that.

Well, anyway my mother
took me to the hospital,

and I put my arm in long cast,

and the teacher had me stand
up in front of the whole class

and tell what happened,

and that's the only other bone I ever
broke except for my leg, of course.

Although, I did sprain my ankle
once when I was in ice skating

on Chautauqua Lake.
I remember that. I...

Good morning, Harry.

Good morning, Lucille.

Oh, those eggs look good.

Now, I brought you salt, pepper,
sugar, cream, catsup, the morning paper,

two magazines, a
book, some playing cards

and a ball and some jacks.

Now, don't call me
unless your foot is on fire.

OK, Harry.

Oh, and no more naps.

I don't want stay up all
night again playing Scrabble.

Harry!

Haaarry!

Why are you yelling? And
it's better be an emergency.

Oh, well, I'm sorry I
had to yell at you, Harry,

but my bell disappeared
during the night.

Really?

That's odd.

What do you suppose
happened to it?

Well, I don't know.

I suppose there's a
g*ng of bellnappers about.

Harry, did you tip toe in
here last night and steal it?

No.

Tiptoed in here this
morning and stole it.

- That was mean.
- No, it wasn't.

It was self-preservation.

Now, what did you want?

I just want to tell you
I couldn't find my bell.

That does it...

I know. I know.
I know. I know...

I... I... I'm going to rent
a hospital bed for you

and put it down
in the living room

and then... then I'm going
to order a wheelchair for you

so you can get
around by yourself.

Oh, Harry. Thank you.

Don't... don't thank me.

It's coming out of your salary
as soon as you get back to work.

Harry.

- Harry.
- What?

Am I to heavy?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

But it's worth it just
to get you downstairs.

Yeah.

I'm going to love
being downstairs, Harry.

So am I.

There you are.

- Easy now, easy.
- Thank you.

- Watch... watch... watch the foot.
- Yes.

- Thank you.
- There.

- There we are.
- Thank you.

Oh.

Hey, I thought you were
going to give me a wheelchair?

This is a wheelchair.

- It is?
- Yeah, it's the latest thing.

All the hospitals
are using it now.

You see, you can go
anywhere and even outside.

See I have ramps
put in here for you,

just so you can go out
in the patio out in front.

- Anywhere you want.
- Oh, how wonderful.

Get the fresh
air. Isn't that nice?

- Oh, it's adorable.
- Yeah.

It looks like a surrey
with the fringe on top.

Yeah, it does.

Hmm, it's comfortable, too.

When do I get to
ride it in it, Harry?

- Only I have to discover how
to run it so I could tell you, - Oh.

You know, how
un-mechanical you are.

Oh, I am not un-mechanical.

You always say that just
because I set fire to three toasters.

Come in.

Yoo-hoo!

Mary Jane, you are back!

You are downstairs!

How about this?

Oh, how marvelous.

I came over to see
if I could help you.

What's that?

It's a wheelchair.

A wheelchair... Harry,
what happened to you?

Nothing, nothing.

- I'm just trying it out for Lucille.
- Oh.

It's the newest
type of wheelchair.

Oh, Listen. Did you have
fun in Santa Barbara?

Uh, work, work, work.

A likely story.

Harry, don't start that again.

Oh, don't pay any
attention to him.

He's a little frazzled from
being on duty for 32 hours.

Thirty-two hours with one
of the ding-a-ling sisters.

OK, Harry.

Well, I think I'm ready to take this
thing in a shake-down cruise here.

"Turn on the ignition."

All right, then here it go. Oh.

Oh, hey... Oh.

Oh, this is fun.

- Hey! Oh! Wow! Yea!
- You're going to love this.

Oh, can I take it out today?

Oh, you—Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh,
uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

- What's the matter?
- I cannot get this thing stop.

Oh, that is using the
old mechanical bean.

Look up stopping in the book!

- Oh, you're kidding.
- Stopping.

Did you find anything?

What page?

How do I know what page!

Oh here.

It says "Stopping the
chair is very easy to stop."

Oh, good. We'll tell him
if we ever see him again.

Harry, it says it's
very easy to stop.

Thanks a lot!

Oh, let me see that.

- It must say something more than that.
- Stopping. It's right there.

There must be more to it.

Oh, look at that!

A little table, it goes with
it so you can play cards.

Help! Heeeelp!

How is he ever going to stop?

Well, eventually, he is
going to run out of gas.

It doesn't run on gas.
It was on batteries.

Batteries?

How long do batteries last?

About three years.

Three years?

Well, I certainly hope he
hasn't hijacked my wheelchair.

Well, I'm going to go
and see if I can find him.

Ahooga! Ahooga! Ahooga!

- Oh, Harry.
- Help!

Mary Jane, go and
find out what happened?

Oh, do I have to?

Well, I'd go but it is more
or less out of the question.

- Oh.
- Go on.

Oh!

I stopped it.