Kettles in the Ozarks, The (1956)

[bunniefuu]

MAN ON PA: The Atlantic and

Southern Pioneer leaving at 9:15.

Gate 4 is now open for Pullman

and coach passengers.

MA: (WHISTLES) Come on!

MAN ON PA:

Your attention, please.

Come on, kids.

The Saint Louis Flyer

now arriving on Track 8.

(MEOWING)

(DANGER BARKING)

Oh!

Who did that? I don't know, Ma.

What's the matter?

(BARKING)

(SCREAMING)

(YOWLING)

Stop him! Stop him!

Stop Danger!

(BARKING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMING) Get him!

Hold him. Stop him.

Stop him!


Help her!

Oh, no!

Stop him!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, help her!

(MEOWING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

Stop him!

MAN ON PA:


Your attention, please.

You shouldn't have oughta

done that, Danger.

Ma, are you all right?

The Arkansas Argonaut

leaving on Track 16

at 9:00.

That's us. Get me

on my feet, kids.

The Arkansas Argonaut leaving


on Track 16 at 9:00.

This is the last call.

I'll take Danger.

AW, gee, Ma!

Since I bought the tickets, I'd

like to ride to the Ozarks,

not run to them.

Just can't ride facing front.


Makes me dizzy.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Oh! Oh!

Sorry, mister.

I'm Ma Kettle.

Pleased to meet you.

Unharness yourselves,

kids.

Be little ladies

and gentlemen.

Find places to sit.

Here, Ma.

Come out here.

Oh, I'll take Jenny.

(CLUCKING)

GIRL: How's Jenny, Ma?

She's a good traveler.

(DANGER BARKING)

No animals

in the car.

Absolutely

no animals allowed.

(WHIMPERING)

That dog must go.

(CONTINUES BARKING)

(WHIMPERING)

Now that's all right. You

can keep a bird in a cage

as long as it's covered,

but absolutely no animals.

(EXCLAIMS)

The dog will have to

ride in the baggage car.

Oh, Ma!

(SHUSHES)

It's the rules!

Could you put this

up here, please?

(CLUCKING)

A chicken's a bird.

Ain't it?

Sit down, Janie.

(WHIMPERING)

Sure have to cart

a lot of stuff

travelling

with 13 kids.

So long, Danger.

We're going to Mournful Hollow.

That's in Arkansas.

We're gonna visit my husband's

brother, Sedgewick Kettle.

He lives on a farm.

It's a nice, big place.

Sedgewick and Pa,

that's my husband,

they was willed it

by their father.

But Sedge runs it.

Not very good though.

(SOFTLY) Janie!

Wouldn't you like to sit

with the other kids, Janie?

JANIE: No, Ma.

The bank man wrote Ma

and Pa a letter.

He wants to take

Uncle Sedge's farm away.

That's why we're going

to Mournful Hollow.

MA: Financial matters

get in such a mess,

but I figure I can

straighten things out,

and me and the kids

will put that farm

on a paying basis

in no time.

Pa's staying home to look

after our house in town,

and the farm

in Cape Flattery.

Real responsibility

having two places.

Pa started to grow a

peanut crop this year.

Of course, Geoduck and Crowbar

will do all the work.

Pa watches them do it.

(STAMMERING) Pa's

kind of delicate like.

He ain't able to

do too much.

The bank says Uncle Sedge

doesn't do much either.

That's why they want

to take his farm away.

Sedge must be sick,

is what Janie means.

Tickets.

Tickets, please.

Ma's got 'em.

She's there.

Oh.

Well, are you all

in the same family?

How many of you

are there?

Sixteen.

Six... Sixteen?

And who's the youngest?

He is.

And how old are you,

little man?

Six and a half.

Six and a half.

Oh! There it is!

Tickets, please.

Tickets?

They're here someplace.

Those are mine, Ma.

I knew

they weren't mine.

Well, I put 'em in here.

I... I know I did.

Where'd they get to?

Oh, here they are.

All 14 of 'em.

Shouldn't there be 16?

No, just four full fares.

For me and Nancy,

and Freddie, and Betty.

No, she's half fare.

She won't be 12

till November.

It's Johnny who...

No, Ma. Johnny's nine.

One moment!

May I ask how many

children you have?

Sure. Sixteen.

And you bought

14 tickets?

Yes. For me

and 13 kids.

Why should I buy tickets

for Tom and Rose and Elwin?

Are they under five?

Ha! Of course not!

They're the oldest.

Well, then, why didn't you

buy tickets for them?

'Cause they didn't

come with us.

Now, uh...

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Ma! It's raining!

What in tarnation

is that?

I guess Billy must've

brought Oscar.

(KIDS LAUGHING)

(CROAKING)

Oscar got out

of the bottle.

I thought Oscar

stayed home with Pa.

I've got him.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, excuse me. I... I

thought I had Oscar.

I'll get him, Ma.

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

I'll get him!

I never should've

left home.

Sedge or no Sedge.

You comfortable, Sedge?

Well, you might fluff up the

feathers just a little, Bedelia.

Mmm-hmm.

Mighty much obliged

to you.

You are

extremely awkward.

I think Small Fry

could use some help.

Bedelia!

Howdy, Bancroft.

Howdy.

Big Trout's gonna k*ll off

that corn sure enough,

putting them dead fish

in the ground like that.

Big Trout knows

what he's about.

Thank you, Sedgewick.

My people

taught corn-raising

to Myles Standish and John

Alden at Plymouth Rock.

(LAUGHS)

Maybe that's the way they do

it in them foreign places,

but it ain't

the Ozark way.

(SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE)

This corn will be good enough

to sell for seed, Sedgewick.

Hmm.

Ain't gonna

do you much good,

if'n the bank

takes over your place.

That's right un-neighborly

of you, Bancroft Baines.

Me being your

sister's intended.

Never mind him,

Sedgewick.

Let us hope the bank holds

off until harvest time.

If I could just give 'em

a little bit on account.

Perhaps your wealthy sister-in-law

will lend you the money

when she arrives.

Oh, I don't like to take

advantage of my kinfolk,

but I'll think

of something.

BIG TROUT:

Certainly you will.

That corn ain't

no good for seed.

Big Trout's crazy!

But, Bancroft, it is the finest

corn in Mournful Hollow.

Fine thing!

My own sister what lives off

of me, taking sides agin' me!

Come on! You got the milking

and the washin' to do.

'Sides, you ain't

done the plowing yet.

Sun's moved,

Small Fry.

Howdy, mister.

Well, why the galoshes

on a goose?

Well, the eggs

got mixed up,

and Gertie was hatched

by a hen.

Chickens don't like

to get their feet wet,

and Gertie

is even fussier.

Them galoshes

make her happy.

Is that your cornfield?

Yep. Right nice,

ain't it?

Looks like a good crop.

I'm Jack Dexter of the International

Development Company of America.

Well, I'm Sedgewick Kettle

of Mournful Hollow.

Just call me Sedge.

Mighty glad to

make your acquaintance.

Well, I don't mind

if I do.

You got a match?

I travel

around the country,

buying up crops

in the field.

Before harvesting?

Well, if the weather turns

bad and the crop spoils,

the farmer gets his

money just the same.

Must be mighty nice fellers,

doing things like that.

We have to protect

ourselves, of course.

The farmer

signs an agreement

to do all he can

to ensure a good yield.

Well, can't blame 'em

for that.

I'll give you $100

to bind the agreement,

and the balance

at harvest.

Well, the bank fellers

will be glad of that.

Better talk 'em over

with Big Trout first.

Who's Big Trout?

Oh, he's a real

educated feller.

Come down here

to study...

What is he studying?

Cherokee Indians'

big trek westward.

Chief Sequoyah

slept here.

Either take it

or leave it.

I'll take it.

Better have your wife

sign these, too.

Ain't got no wife.

Just me.

You live here

all alone?

SEDGE: All by myself.

What about him?

Oh, just a friend, comes

around to help me.

CROW: (CAWING)

Here he is!

Here he is! Go away, Jimmy.

Go away!

(CAWING) Here he is!

What was that?

That was my neighbor

Bancroft's pet crow.

He pesters me

all the time.

Don't like me

very much.

Why not?

Well, a long time ago

when I was a young'un,

I got a job working

for a revenuer.

You just chopped wood

for him.

Yep.

It was enough to make the

neighbors all turn against me,

and they never

did forget it.

What's all this got

to do with the crow?

He's trained

to spot revenuers.

When he sees one,

he yells, "Here he is!"

Just like he done

to me.

Would you like to

make some extra money?

Working?

Nothing like that.

I'd like to

rent your barn.

You see, my company's working

on a secret project,

developing new products

from corn.

Too much to ask for $5

a month, or maybe $6?

Could you

afford that?

My company's generous.

We'll make it $7.

Must have money

to burn.

I'll be back

with the...

Other fellows

tomorrow some time.

Just sign these

and we're in business.

Better read it first.

It's just a regular

rental form.

Grandpa Kettle says you can always

trust a man with an honest face.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Oh, it's you.

Excuse me.

Thanks for getting us

the berths.

The kids sure

need a good rest.

I hope they sleep all the

way to Mournful Hollow.

Oh, they don't need

that much sleep.

(YELLS) Come and get it!

(KIDS CLAMORING)

Let me in there, kids.

I'm hungry, too.

Madam! I...

Oh, we're just having

a little snack.

If you're hungry,

dig in.

Madam, it's my duty to

encourage train travel.

But from now on,

I hope you fly.

What time you say the train

is coming in, Bedelia?

3:30. You read

the letter, Sedge.

I wonder what your

sister-in-law is like.

I hope she's

not too uppity.

Well, I don't know. Being from

the city and rich, besides.

Being rich, she ain't

used to working.

I told you, Sedge, you

should've answered the letter.

You could've asked her

for the money

and told her

to stay home.

Oh, Bedelia,

you know how I feel

about borrowing money

from my kinfolks.

After all, this place

is half theirs.

Well, we'll make

the best of things.

Being used to

living so fancy,

maybe she won't

stay long.

(GRUNTS) Got you fixed

up as good as I can.

I'll go get myself

ready now.

Before you pretty up,

Bedelia, you'd better

harness Sweetnin'.

Mmm-hmm. Sweetnin'!

Sweetnin'!

Come on, boy!

Come on, boy!

We're going to town.

Come on, Sweetnin'.

Come on, honey.

That's got to

be Uncle Sedgewick.

(LAUGHING) Nobody but a Kettle

would drive an outfit like that.

Whoa. Whoa.

You be my kinfolk?

If you're Brother Sedge,

we are.

We're kinfolk. Kind of

not what I expected,

but you're right welcome

to Mournful Hollow.

Thank you.

I want you to make yourself

acquainted with Miss Bedelia Baines.

You might call her

my intended.

Well! I didn't know

Sedge was engaged.

Glad to hear it.

We've been

for 20 years.

Cautious types,

ain't you?

I'm not, but he is.

Oh.

You don't look like Pa, but

you sure remind me of him.

Brothers got things

in common, son.

MA: Pile in, kids.

Pile in now.

(DANGER BARKING)

Sedge, maybe I better stop

off and see the banker.

Oh, no need

bothering them fellers.

I got everything

fixed up.

Already sold my corn crop

to some city fellers.

Rented my barn, too.

Why, Sedge. You mean you're

going to be able to pay

the mortgage off

with no trouble?

Sure.

Sorry the bank

bothered you.

I didn't want to

worry my brother,

in spite of

his being so rich.

Rich! Ha!

I see you need catching up

with the family history.

It sort of hits you the

first time you see it.

Like I said,

it's quiet.

You sure there's no one

to snoop around here?

Not a one.

Yeah, this is

a good spot.

You used your head

this time.

Thanks, Professor. This will be the

easiest caper we ever tackled.

Our worries are over. There won't

be a thing to disturb us here.

Okay, park the stuff.

Ah, it's so quiet

it gives me the creeps.

Isolation is exactly

what we need.

We like solitary,

huh, Professor?

(LAUGHS)

(KIDS CLAMORING)

(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

Ha! All it needs is

Geoduck and Crowbar

and I'd think I was back

in Cape Flattery.

(LAUGHS) Oh!

That does it.

Just like home.

Howdy, Mr. Dexter. Want you

to meet my brother's wife.

Just call her Ma.

Pleased to meet ya.

What'd you say

your names was?

This is my boss,

the Professor.

That's Benny

and this is Joe.

Howdy.

This is a surprise.

Well, it ain't

no surprise to me.

I been expecting Ma

and the kids.

They come to visit me.

Come on, Ma.

I want to make

you acquainted

with Big Trout

and Small Fry.

So you made

a mistake.

Let's set up

operations anyway.

If we're careful, they'll

never know what we're doing.

They can't kick us out.

Kettle signed away the crop and

we got the lease on the barn.

(BARN ANIMALS BAYING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Sure looks familiar.

Go! Get out of here.

(CLUCKING)

Shoo! Shoo! Get out!

Get out of here.

Go! Shoo!

I told you Ma wouldn't

like hens in the kitchen.

No sense moving 'em

till we was sure.

Git! Git! Git!

(BLEATING)

Outside, Genevieve.

Company's come.

Kind of foolish to pull

all that stuff down, Ma.

It was stacked

so neat and tidy.

Everything's got to be in its proper

place and in its right place.

(LAUGHS) Grandpa

Kettle always said.

I better get this place cleaned

up before I start supper.

Well, Bedelia'll be

glad to help you.

(sums)

Tarnation!

Gonna fix that

one of these days.

(LAUGHS)

Come and get it!

Dear Sir,

we thank you

for the fine vittles

that Ma's prepared for us,

and I'd appreciate it

if you could make my kinfolk's

visit an enjoyable one.

ALL: Amen.

You know, Uncle Sedge

says grace just like Pa.

Uncle Sedge and Pa

are lots the same.

Don't you

think so, Ma?

(LAUGHING) I can see

what you mean.

The reason is that me and

your pa got our lessons

on your

Grandpa Kettle's knee.

You hear that,

children?

Look here.

That's your

Grandpa Kettle.

He's the dude

of the family.

Yeah, your pa

was kind of like him.

In fact,

he favors him a lot.

Well, the hat's

the same.

I think it looks

like you.

Aw, shucks no.

Everybody in the family knows I'm the

spitting image of Grandma Kettle.

Why do you keep the

picture covered up?

Gotta keep things clean,

you know.

(RATTLING)

(KIDS LAUGHING)

Get away from there!

What are you doing in there, mister?

I couldn't see.

We don't want nobody

snooping around here. See?

Go on!

(KIDS LAUGHING)

Who did that?

Go ahead, scram.

You heard me.

Don't do that.

I can't stand it.

Ow!

(KIDS LAUGHING)

(BLEATING)

Help! Help! Help!

Help!

Help!

(GROANING)

Help! Help!

Hang on to this.

(SCREAMING)

Here, haul him up.

Help! Help! Help!

(GROANING)

Uncle Sedge!

We can't hang on!

Spit on your hands.

You can get

a better hold.

(KIDS CLAMORING)

Take some mending,

but I'll get around to it

one of these days.

Hey, you all want us to

help you unload that corn?

No, you all... And you kids

stay away from that barn!

Benny!

Them city people

sure are strange.

Ain't no use in trying

to figure 'em out.

Well, I think

I'll rest a spell.

Gertie, move over.

It's my turn now.

(QUACKING)

What do we

need these for?

We're research chemists.

This'll help fool

the local yokels.

Ah, who worries

about them?

All these people aren't like Sedge.

They're no dopes.

And they don't like

outsiders moving in here

with this kind

of operation.

If the revenue boys

stay away,

everything'll go okay.

If these hicks

get sore at you,

they can be tougher

than any city mob.

Joe, go unpack

the rest of the stuff.

We'll get a fire going

and we're in business.

Your biggest headache will

be getting rid of the mash.

Don't worry about it. We'll

bury it in the woods.

We'll have a good fire

going in a minute, boss.

(MEN COUGHING)

(KIDS LAUGHING)

Uncle Sedge!

Uncle Sedge!

Uncle Sedge!

Uncle Sedge!

Wake up!

Is it important?

Look!

The barn's on fire!

Well, go get the hose

and put it out.

And get the other kids

to help you.

Come on, kids!

(KIDS CLAMORING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Barn's on fire!

We just saved you.

Stop that!

You're flooding it!

What?

Turn that water off.

Disconnect it.

Been quite a dry spell.

Mind if the hogs

join you?

Next.

Evening, Bedelia.

Got your chores done?

Reckon so.

Leastwise till Bancroft

thinks of something

else he wants done.

Ouch! I ain't

that dirty, Ma.

Sorry, honey.

You're done.

If'n you're tired, Ma, I'd be

pleased to spare you awhile.

Oh, I'm not...

Why, that's nice

of you, Bedelia.

I am kind of tired.

Good night, Ma.

Good night.

Just give me a lick

and promise.

Ma washed me good

before supper.

(LAUGHS)

Good night, Ma.

Good night.

Do you like

little girls?

Sure do.

Little boys, too.

When you marry

Uncle Sedge,

you can have lots of

kids, just like Ma.

Oh.

Good night, Ma.

Good night.

Remember to say your prayers.

Okay.

When I was a young'un,

just spoken for by Sedge,

I used to say I wanted

a whole house full of kids.

Guess we kind of

waited too long.

Bedelia, you ever tried pushing

Sedge toward the preacher?

Tried lots of times, but Sedge

don't want to be hurried into it.

The best thing for

Sedge and this farm

is for you

to marry him.

He can't take care

of himself,

and I can't

stay here forever.

Nothing I'd rather do

than take care of him

and, oh,

this wonderful place.

You know,

making a man jealous

is one way

of hog-tying him.

Ain't nobody around here

to make him jealous of.

That's too bad.

We'll think of

something, I reckon.

Another thing

that bothers me,

the neighbors never

come around.

Ain't Sedge

got any friends?

None but Big Trout

and Small Fry.

All the others

shun him.

Say, is there any way

you could fix things,

so I could meet

the neighbors?

We could go

to the social

at the schoolhouse

Saturday.

Good!

Except Sedge

won't want to.

We'll all go.

Maybe I can straighten Sedge

out with the neighbors.

KIDS: Dear Lord, bless this

house and all of us in it.

Bless Pa, too.

Take care of him.

Bless Ma

and help her

get Uncle Sedge

straightened out. Amen.

JANIE: P.S. Please help

Bedelia marry Uncle Sedge.

She'd like to so bad.

KIDS: Amen.

Yoo-hoo, Mr. Benny!

Morning, Mr. Benny.

I fetched you a present.

Sugar cookies.

Baked 'em last night.

If I do say, and who shouldn't,

they're right tasty.

I never touch the stuff.

I'll take 'em.

Nice of you to make these

cookies for Mr. Benny.

Well, dearie, we got to think

of something better than that.

Bedelia, I sure don't like the

idea of going to that social.

I wish you hadn't

told Ma about it.

You gotta mix with

the neighbors, Sedge.

Living like a hermit

the way you been doing,

folks get the idea

you don't like 'em.

You'll see

for yourself.

Folks around here

don't wanna mix with me.

Never should've

chopped that wood.

(SCOFFS)

Soured you on work

ever since, huh?

Ma! Ma!

A letter from Pa.

Ah! I hope

Pa's all right.

I been kind of

worried about him.

(WHISTLES)

(KIDS CLAMORING)

A letter from Pa,

kids!

BOY: Read it,

read it, Ma.

MA: Give me a chance.

Nice, quiet place.

"Howdy, Ma, Nancy, Freddie, Sammy,

Sally, and the rest of you.

"Geoduck is writing

what I have to say.

"I and he and Crowbar

had a hard day.

"The pigs got

in the peanuts, Ma.

"There won't be

no peanuts,

"but the pork ought to

taste awful good."

Well, pigs is pigs.

Seems that way.

"I'm taking good care

of the place

"and there's nothing for

you to worry about.

"I got hungry for some biscuits

like you used to make,

"but couldn't get

the stove to draw.

"Threw in

some gasoline.

"Never did get

the biscuits that day."

Pa should never try

to help with the work.

Something always happens.

One good thing, he

don't help very often.

A man's smart to not tackle

anything that he ain't good at.

Yeah.

"Forgot to tell you, Ma,

kitchen's burned a little.

"There's a new hole

in the roof.

"Don't worry about me

and the place.

"I'm taking care

of things fine.

(SCOFFS)

"Say howdy

to Sedge for me.

"Your loving husband, Pa."

Come on, g*ng!

That was a fine letter.

I'm glad everything is

going so good out there.

I'd say Pa was getting along

about the same as usual.

Ma, dinner's ready.

Come and get it!

GIRL: Come on, let's hurry.

(KIDS CLAMORING)

Pa and Sedge is sure cut

from the same pattern!

Well, this is as good

a place as any.

Oh, I hate this

part of the job.

This mash has got

to be ditched right.

One slip-up here

and we're in trouble.

(BUSHES RUSTLING)

(ROARS)

There's a bear! There's

a bear in the woods!

You scared

of something?

There's a man-eating

bear out there!

Oh, they won't bother you

unless you hurt 'em.

They only eat sweets like

honey and wild berries.

You city fellers

got a lot to learn.

Well, gotta put

Gertie to bed.

Good fight, Game.

All right, get out there

and bury that mash!

I ain't digging holes

with bears for company!

Okay, okay!

Bring it back here

and we'll bury it first

thing in the morning.

Bears! Goats! Gooses with galoshes!

Thousands of kids!

A cop would sure look

good to me right now!

Come on!

Come on!

The coast is clear!

Hey, what's that?

I don't know.

(BUZZING)

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

(ALL SCREAMING IN PAIN)

Howdy, Bancroft.

Howdy.

That some of your pumpkin liquor?

Yeah.

Where're them

city fellers?

Thought I might

sell 'em some.

Well, you oughtn't to be

fooling with them hornets.

Got something right

here in this jug

that'll make you forget

about them stings.

(LIQUOR SLOSHING)

A 'w??-?

Never do favors

for strangers,

but you're

nice fellers

and I feel sorry for you. Yeah?

Best liquor you ever tasted

right in that pumpkin.

Make it in

the shell.

You're kidding.

No, he ain't. He's been

making it all his life.

How do you do it?

(CHUCKLES) That's

my secret.

Only takes a week, and you ain't

got no mash to get rid of.

That's the dangerous

thing about a still,

getting rid

of the mash.

Well, uh, how do you get

rid of the pumpkin shells?

Oh, feed it to

the chickens.

Makes the eggs right

tasty, too. Here.

I'll open it up and

give you a taste.

Good morning.

Goodness sakes.

You need fixing up.

Well, Bancroft's gonna take care

of that with his pumpkin liquor.

Liquor? Where?

In the pumpkin,

like I told you.

(LIQUOR SLOSHING)

You ain't got the

right to do that!

You ain't got the right to bring

bootleg stuff on this property!

I won't stand for any

liquor around here!

Ain't nothing worse

than a bossy female.

Go on! Git!

Git! Go on!

Go on!

Hurry up!

I know just what'll take the

sting out of those bumps.

It's an old

country remedy.

(SNORTS)

Fellers, come on!

You're next!

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hi, Bedelia!

Glad you could come!

Thank you.

This here's Mrs. Kettle.

Howdy.

Howdy!

Just call me Ma.

Glad to know you, Ma. Happy

to know you, Mrs. Kettle.

This is my daughter, Nancy.

ALL: Howdy.

I remember your husband,

Egbert, well. (LAUGHS)

Egbert moves slower than

any boy in the Hollow.

What's he like now?

I think you'd still

recognize him.

So you're Egbert's

woman, eh?

Got any kids?

Sixteen!

Nice,

respectable-size family.

Can see Egbert married

hisselfa good woman.

Glad Egbert turned

out so good.

Not like some

I could name.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Bedelia, you

seen my grandson?

There's Lafe now, Miz Hawkins.

Oh.

Where'll I put

the ham, Grandma?

On the table!

Miz Hawkins's about

Nancy's age, ain't she?

About, I figure.

How old's Lafe?

23, 24,

I reckon.

Just tell me

one thing.

How does a 17-year-old

girl get to be grandma

to a 23-year-old man?

Real natural.

Miz Hawkins is

Mr. Hawkins' third wife.

Other two died from

one thing or another.

Lafe's Mr. Hawkins'

grandson

by his oldest daughter

by his first wife.

Being Lafe's

Mr. Hawkins' grandson,

and being this Mrs. Hawkins

is Mr. Hawkins' wife,

naturally, she's

Lafe's grandma. See?

Kind of.

(LIQUOR SLOSHING)

(FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES)

Run along with the folks,

honey, and dance!

Have a good time!

Okay, Ma!

I hear you been right

friendly to Bedelia.

Why not? Bedelia's

a fine woman.

Be glad when Sedge

makes her a Kettle.

I don't know why

she wants him.

But there's no accounting

for other people's tastes.

MA: Are you gonna

hold it against Sedge

for something he

did 25 years ago?

Well, what's he done since

to make us like him?

Sister, if you give

folks a chance,

nine times out often you'll find

there's plenty in them to like.

Well, maybe our men folk will

forget that awful thing he did,

but us women don't

let our men forget.

That ain't right.

WOMAN: Us women folk

got to stick together.

The way Sedge's been

keeping Bedelia here

dangling for 20 years

is a shameful thing!

Sets a bad example

for the other men.

You all ain't got a right to

speak so mean about Sedge.

He is gonna marry me.

Someday.

From the number of

the kids in the Hollow,

I'd say Sedge never had any

influence on the other men.

If Sedge

marries Bedelia,

would you all be

friendly to him,

like neighbors

ought to be,

and let your men-folks

do the same?

Reckon so.

That's sure

foolish talk.

Sedge ain't never gonna tie

the knot with Bedelia.

You might get

a surprise.

All right, folks!

Everybodyjoin the ring play!

(PEOPLE CHEERING) Go on, Ma!

You're good at verse-making.

Well, what

do you do?

Oh, just say anything comes to you.

Watch him.

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

Raccoons a-coming

from the hollow

Possums a-coming

from the swamp

A hoot-owl called

a get-together

All the critters

want to stomp

ALL: Hoot-owl called

a get-together

All the critters

want to stomp

Go on, Ma!

(LAUGHS) Well,

if you go first.

Everybody's mighty social

This here is

a social night

Sedgewick, dear,

don't look so fearful

These good folks

ain't gonna bite

ALL: Sedgewick, dear,

don't look so fearful

Us good folks

ain't gonna bite

(ALL LAUGHING)

I can see you folks

is social

('d be friendly

if I might

[ain't mean like

you been saying

My dam shoes

is just too tight

ALL: He ain't mean

like we been saying

His dam shoes

is just too tight

You sure are

a pleasing woman

Would you like

to dance a mite?

I'd admire to

do some stomping

With the belle

of Social Night

ALL: He'd admire to

do some stomping

With the belle

of Social Night

'Fore I dance with

this here feller

There is something

must be told

Brother Sedge may

not be perfect

But he has

a heart of gold

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING)

(WOMEN SCREAM)

(ALL CHEERING)

You saved it, Cousin!

Ah, good catch,

Sedge! (LAUGHS)

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

We should've buried it

like the Professor said.

My idea'll work fine,

and with less trouble.

(CLUCKING)

(HICCUPS)

(CROWING)

(HICCUPS)

(QUACKS)

(HICCUPS)

(ALL HICCUPPING)

(CROWING DRUNKENLY)

(MOOING DRUNKENLY)

(QUACKING DRUNKENLY)

(CACKLING)

(CLUCKING DRUNKENLY)

(BARKING)

(CACKLING)

(CLUCKING)

(SQUEALING)

(SQUEALING)

(CLUCKING)

(MOOING)

(HICCUPS)

(BLEATING)

(GROWLING)

(SQUEALING)

(CLUCKING)

u-uccuppnwe)

What's going

on here?

(MOOs)

(CLUCKING)

If I didn't know better, I'd swear

these critters have been drinking.

(LAUGHING)

CROW: (CAWING) Boy!

What a party!

What a party!

(HOWLS)

(SNORING)

(CAWS) Wow!

What a party!

BILLY: Ma! A letter from Pa!

Hey, Ma, open it up!

JANIE: What's Pa

been doing, Ma?

Well, land sakes, honey! I don't

know till I get it open! (LAUGHING)

"Dear Ma and family,

"I got something

on my heart

"I'd like to

say to you.

"How are you?

(CHUCKLES)

"Mighty quiet 'round here,

Ma, since you went away.

"Sure miss your

bellering out at us,

"and the nights

is awful lonely.

"Sure would like to hear

"the hollering

of little voices

"and the clumping

of growing feet."

What's Pa mean, Ma?

It means your Pa

misses us, honey.

Oh, I miss him, too!

SALLY: So do I!

BILLY: Me, too!

"But I ain't

complaining, Ma.

"Being alone now

makes me appreciate

"how nice it is

when you're around.

"Maybe you ain't the prettiest

woman in the world,

"but you make up for it by

being such a hard worker.

"Soon as you get Brother

Sedge straightened out,

"please hurry home.

"I sure miss you.

"Your loving husband, Pa."

Uncle Sedge, you'll be

lonesome when we go home.

Sure will, honey.

Why don't you

marry Bedelia?

Then you won't

be lonesome.

MA: You'll be mighty

uncomfortable, too.

There won't be nobody

to take care of you.

Bedelia'll do for

me like before.

Ain't Bedelia

told you yet?

She ain't coming

around no more.

She's decided it ain't

right to work for nothing,

'less she's your wife.

Folks are starting to talk!

Course, once you're married,

she can work like a dog

and nobody'll think

a thing of it.

You aiming to

desert me, Bedelia?

That's right, Sedge.

I ain't waiting no more.

Well, why didn't you say

you was getting anxious?

You just name the day

and we'll get hitched.

Well, the circuit rider's

due here Thursday.

Fine. Then

Thursday's the day.

Uh, that suit

you, Bedelia?

This is so

sudden, Sedge!

Well, now, if

it's too soon...

But I accept!

That's settled.

Don't say nothing to Bancroft

till the circuit rider comes.

No sense letting him have

time to start trouble.

Maybe we oughta ask

Bancroft's permission.

MA: Not on your life!

(HUMMING WEDDING TUNE)

(SINGING)

La da de da da da

Here comes the bride

AH dressed in white

La da de da

da da da da

(CLANKING)

(GASPS)

I hope we can get this mash

buried without no big deal.

We will and we'll start a

new batch in the morning.

Bootleggers! (SCOFFS)

They must have had a good laugh

when I bawled Bancroft out

for bringing that

pumpkin liquor here.

And they seemed like

such nice fellers.

Well, I'll send Small Fry to

get the sheriff tomorrow.

Sedge, that agreement

you signed,

did it say what they was

going to use the barn for?

I don't know.

I didn't read it.

Maybe there's something in it

that'll get Sedge into trouble.

Me and Pa owns this

place with you, Sedge,

and if the papers

get you in trouble,

we'll be messed

up in it, too.

I don't know, (STAMMERS)

what're we gonna do, Ma?

The first thing we do is to

find out what the papers say.

Them folks around

here find out

that I been outsmarted

by them city fellers,

I'll never be able to

live down the disgrace.

Bancroft would have a good

reason to stop the wedding.

We'd all be disgraced,

but we ain't

gonna be!

We know you got

a still in there.

So? What do you think

you're gonna do about it?

Get the sheriff,

that's what.

Ah, now, you wouldn't want to

do a thing like that, partner.

Partner?

Sure, didn't you know?

The agreement Sedge signed lets me

use the barn for anything I want.

You raise the corn,

we process it.

That makes us partners.

I want to see

that paper.

Ah, no, I couldn't

let you do that.

You've gotta

show it to us!

I don't gotta

do anything.

All you've gotta do is

keep your mouth shut.

And I don't want to hear anymore

talk about sheriffs, either.

(BLOWING TRUMPET)

Howdy, Miz Tinware.

Howdy, Sedge.

Howdy, Bedelia.

Howdy.

I guess you'd be Sedge's sister-in-law.

I heared about you.

Howdy.

Any news around the

mountains, Miz Tinware?

Nothing much.

The usual courting, fighting, and

birthings, 'cept the revenuer.

He's been nosing

around town lately.

Revenuer?

Figure he's on

to something?

Ah, revenuer thinks there's

a g*ng of city men

operating a still here

in the mountains.

No outlander could work a still

without our folks finding out.

Seems so.

Are the revenue

officers sure?

MIZ TINWARE:

They ain't certain.

But they're gonna search

the whole mountain,

starting at Laughin' Creek,

way over to the other side.

Hear tell they're going to work

their way down to Smilin' Valley,

over Sober Peak,

then across to

Frownin' Lake.

Then over to

Mournful Hollow.

That's right, winding

up at Weepin' Springs.

How long do you figure it'll

take them to reach here?

MIZ TINWARE:

Oh, about a week.

Don't you think

so, Sedge?

Well, I figure so, unless they

detour around Shriekin' Falls.

(STAMMERS)

Excuse me,

Miz Tinware.

You know, all of a sudden

I feel right poorly.

You meet up with the circuit

rider lately, Miz Tinware?

Well, uh,

not lately.

But I'm sure to run into

him somewhere around.

Got a message you

want me to deliver?

(STAMMERS) Oh, it's

a secret, Miz Tinware,

but me and Sedge

is gonna get married,

soon as he comes

around on Thursday.

Oh, that's fine!

It's about time, too.

If'n I run into him,

I'll tell him.

Oh, you'll be needing some

of my wares for sure now!

I worried all night, Ma.

I'll be the first Kettle

to ever be a jailbird.

They'll let you off on

accounting you're a woman

and having so many

kids to take care of,

but... You ain't gonna

be no jailbird!

We'll find away to

outsmart those skunks yet.

You know, you just

give me an idea.

I'm-a going out and find

Big Trout and Small Fry.

Got to finish my

breakfast first, though.

I don't know about

this idea of yours.

Skunks are

like bombs.

Once released, they're

difficult to control.

You got a

better idea?

JOE: What's that?

BENNY: Ah, they're cats.

PROFESSOR: Get 'em outta here.

BENNY: What's that smell?

PROFESSOR: (EXCLAIMS)

They're skunks!

(ALL COUGHING)

Run up to the

creek and jump in.

I'll bring you some

soap and towels.

You'll have to burn

all them clothes.

I know!

Keep all your

papers in there?

All of them!

Where's the glue, Ma?

In the cupboard,

over your head.

Too bad we ain't got time to

fix a fancy wedding for you.

Just so the preacher gets

here and marries us

before they tote

Sedge off to jail.

Sedge ain't

going to jail!

And you're going

to be married tomorrow!

Can you actually believe tomorrow

is your wedding day, Bedelia?

Won't believe it till the

words are said over us.

They'll be said,

all right!

I just wish we didn't have

nothing else to worry about.

Ma, would you mind if these

fellers sat down for awhile

till the barn

airs out?

Okay.

(SCREAMS)

Gonna fix that

one of these days.

Dust in it.

That smells good.

What is it?

Taffy candy.

The kind you pull?

Yeah.

Well, let's see.

I remember pulling taffy once.

I was a kid.

Yeah, I remember, Boss. We was

in reform school together.

Yeah, that was

it. (CHUCKLES)

Shut up!

Ma! What are you doing? Shh!

Nancy, run out and see if

the kids are all right.

They went to the woods to

pick flowers for tomorrow.

Okay, Ma.

Taffy-pulling's fun!

Of course, you

have to know how.

There's atrick

to it, all right.

We had a taffy-pulling

contest once.

I won!

Is that so?

Well, you probably

forgot how by now.

I'll bet I haven't.

How about letting us try?

Sure! If you want to.

The candy's about

ready to pull now.

Ma, that candy ain't

ready to pull yet.

What do you

know about it?

I just said it ain't

ready to pull.

Here, taste it and see.

(GRUNTING)

(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)

Yeah! Yeah!

Bedelia, take

Sedge and sit down.

Everything's gonna

be just dandy.

Well, there you are.

Grab it and

start pulling hard.

All right, boys.

Butter up!

(GRUNTS)

Ah, just like old times, huh, Professor?

Ah, yeah!

Hey! Something's wrong!

Oh, no, nothing's wrong with it.

Just work it more.

Ooh! This is awful!

Ah, this is worse

than handcuffs.

Are you sure? BENNY: You

did this on purpose!

Hey, you! (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

Give me that!

Here it is!

(SCOFFS) There ain't nothing

in this to hurt Sedge or me.

You lied to us!

Do you hear

that, Sedge?

We gotta get

outta here!

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

Ma, the circuit

rider's come!

Sedge!

Well! You're a day

early, Reverend.

Yes. I met

Miz Tinware.

Glad you

got here.

I understand you're the

Justice of the Peace, too.

That I am.

There are the bootleggers the

revenuers are looking for.

I got here

just in time.

I'll take 'em into

town right now.

Oh, never mind. We can lock

'em up in the storeroom.

I don't want

you leaving now,

until Bedelia is

Mrs. Sedge Kettle.

Well, all right.

Good! Then you can

be on your way

as soon as you speak the words

over Sedge and Bedelia.

(ALL CLAMORING)

As soon as I get a drink

of water, we'll start.

Is there time

for me to fix up?

Yes, but make it fast.

You go help her, honey.

(BOTH GIGGLE)

Come on, Nancy.

Now, children, you know those words?

ALL: Yes, Ma.

Well, let me get you

lined up like we said.

That I will.

Sticky, isn't it?

What's the

matter, Reverend?

(MUMBLING)

Avery smart trick,

but it won't work.

I had to shut his mouth. Now he's

done the same thing to the preacher.

Will it be legal if

you hold the book

and I say the

words for you?

Kind of like your proxy?

Mmm-hmm.

I'll be his

proxy, too.

Watch him, and

I'll go get Bedelia.

You and Small Fry can

be the witnesses.

Here she comes!

One, two.

ALL: (SINGING)

Here comes the bride

Bursting with pride

There stands the groom

A picture of gloom

Lady victorious

He'll run no more

He did his running

all before

Bedeli a is the bride

All happy inside

Sedgewick's the groom

With no place to hide

Uh, this ain't exactly the

kind of wedding we'd planned,

but I guess it kind of fits into

the Kettle way of doing things.

Sedge, pay attention!

As Reverend

Martin's proxy,

I'll now begin.

"Dearly Beloved,

"we are gathered together

here in the sight of God

"to join together

this man and this woman

"in holy matrimony.

"If any man can

show just cause

"why they may not lawfully

be joined together,

"let him speak up now."

You ain't gonna find anybody

around here to object.

"Will you, Sedge, have this

woman to be thy wedded wife,

"to live together in the

holy state of matrimony?

"Will you love her,

comfort her,

"honor and keep her in

sickness and in health

"and forsaking all others,

"keep you

only unto her

"so long as you

both shall live?"

Nod your head! "I do."

"Wilt thou have this man

to be thy wedded husband?"

I'm glad to.

"Who gives this woman

in marriage to this man?"

You can do that,

Big Trout.

I do.

Thanks.

"Do you, Bedelia, promise to love,

honor, and cherish this man,

"and keep only unto him?"

(ALL SCREAMING)

"With this ring,

I thee wed.

"With this ring,

I thee wed."

I hope that don't make me married

to Sedge, too. (LAUGHING)

You're just

the proxy, Ma.

With a wedding like

this, who can tell?

"I now pronounce you

man and wife."

Time to kiss

the bride.

This you can do for

yourself, Sedge.

(ALL CHEERING)

He's all mine!

Shucks! It ain't nothing.

Let her find that

out for herself.

Thanks, Reverend. Now you

can take your prisoners.

Well, Bedelia, you got a

husband, and Niagara Falls, too!

(LAUGHING HEARTILY)