03x12 - Let 'Em Eat Corn

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're lookin' for me ♪

♪ You'd better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is where
you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab ♪

♪ At the bottom of the sea ♪

$900 To social security?

Well, uh... I'm trying to think
of a joke about a lock box.

'Cause it's so timely.

Damn if I'm paying
these damn taxes!

What you gonna do, declare
sealab a sovereign nation?

Declare sealab...
Hold that thought.

Ok.



[Beeping]

Greetings, captain.

Reckon you know why I'm here.

Sovereign nation...

Hmm.

Where'd you get that?

In there.

Well, what'd you decide?

Hazelnut.

No, about the nation thing.

Oh, dang! Where's
my head at today?



Oh!

No! We can't!
It's forbidden!

Come on! Hump her!
Make a bearaff!

Or a giraffabear!

Hey, freak job,
you still a notary?

Hesh's commission
expires in 2026!

So, now that sealabia
is sovereign,

I want to buy me some
weapons of mass destruction
from england.

Duly noted.

Huddle up, tasty.

[Speaking over each other
with british accents]

Oh, hang on.
We've already done that.

Do I just
come in here now, yeah?

Yeah?
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Uh, ok.
Ok, fine.

So what do we do?
Cool. Ok.

Ok.
King and country!

Right, then. We'll do it.

Outstanding!

First, you have to give us
some new teeth.

New teeth?

Whoa!

Some of you may be wondering
why I called you here.

Well, it wasn't
to show you my diorama

Of george c. Scott as patton

From the legendary film
with the same name.

Damn! Now, where was i?

Oh, yeah. I declared sealab
a sovereign nation.

He's crazy!
What?

Behold the new flag
of sealabia.

What?
He's for real?

You can't do that!

Now, see, right there's
where you're wrong,

'Cause it's all done
and notarized.

Actually, you still need
to sign here and here and here;

Initial here, sign here,

Initial and date,
sign, initial it...

Let me see that.

No, sign that,
and sign here and here.

Well, are we sovereign?

No, but I am.
What?

Welcome to heshopolis, b*tches!

♪ Hay-oh! Hay-oh!
Hay-oh! Hay-oh! ♪

Heshopolis
is off the hook, baby!

The hell you say.

These folks are vassals
of the emperor of sealabia.

They're heshopolites!

Sealabians!
Heshopolites!

Sealabians!

All right. All right.
All right. Shut up.

We'll do batsies for it.
Put your hand there.

Oh, wait. Wait.
Let me hold it.

Sounds good to... Blah!

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!
He k*lled hesh.

Nope. [Coughs]
hesh is still barely alive.

Ugh!

Ew!

Now, then, as you...

Power vacuum!

I hereby declare myself
ruler of sparkopolis.

Sparkopolites,
follow me to freedom!

Huzzah! Long live the chair.

Damn. Well,
we'll see how they like it

When sealabia
invades their a*s.

Well, you'll do it
without us.

Who the hell are you?

I'm brad,
ruler of podsixia.

Brad? You...
You never called me.

I know.

And as of this moment,
we hereby secede
from sealabia.

Long live brad!
Love live podsixia!

Well, get ready to choke
on my wmds!

You're awful quiet
about all this.

h*, h*, h*, yeah!

That's 'cause
all I can think about

Is you having sex
with brad.

God. Me, too.

Oh, that's it!

I'm seceding from you,

And I'm definitely
seceding from your
stupid country a*s!

Anybody needs me,
I'll be in...

Quinnland.

Don't you dare
walk out that door.

Yeah? That's what
yo' mama told me! Pbbt!

Nice comeback.

Woman:
quinn, don't you dare
walk out that door.

Oh, that could be anybody!

Oh...

Don't make me,
aggie shanks,
mother of tornado,

Beg you to come back in here

And give her some more
of that sweet forbidden

Jungle fevery love of yours!

Baby, I love you.

Bab... Bab... Bab... Baby, I love you.

End scene.

Well, obviously
this means w*r.

And so, to recap,
coffee machine,
sealabian sovereignty,

A crack about
someone's mammy,

Then multilateral
declaration of w*r.

[Typing sound]

[Ding]

All right.

Debbie, you're in command
till I get back.

I gotta rally the troops,

Then go get our wmds
from our allies.

What allies?

Look, I'm eating corn, fresh.

I'm eating corn, too,
tasty.

And the corn
is so fresh and tasty.

Blimey! I just got that.

Sparkopolites,
when the sealabians invade

And the lead starts flying,

Just remember
our martyred founder hesh.

I'm actually
still barely... Aah!

I got it. Mine!

[Crowd cheering]

Nice save, jesus.

God, he's good.

Uh-oh, and I pooped
in our foxhole.

What?

But I did put
my blanket over it.

Well, why the hell
didn't you use the toilet?

It seceded from me.

Something is
about to happen.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

You're kidding!

This is everybody
who's joining quinnland?

[Speaking dolphin]

No, you're not!

We gotta get some more
guys, or we're gonna
be overrun!

[Crashing]

What's up, man?

Too late!
We're being invaded!

No, no, no, no. Relax.

We want to join you.

No way! You slept
with my girlfriend.

If I hadn't,
I wouldn't have
found these.

Hey! Where'd you
find my beads?

Right where
you left them, buddy.

[Laughing]

You know what
I'm talking about.

I misjudged you, brad.
I'm sorry.

Hey, don't apologize to me.
Apologize to the beads.

Hush, fatty.

Ooh, almost forgot.

We brought you a little
secession present. Dennis?

Where the hell
did you get that?

From our allies.

So, I'm glad that
stupid toilet seceded,

'Cause I'm pretty sure
it was a plumbot.

Would you shut up
and let me do this?

First I thought it was
a changeatron, ok?

But then I was like,
"nope. Plumbot."

Want to know how I knew?

No. I want to start
a nuclear w*r!

Ok, quinnsixia's
warhead is ready.

Well, you ain't the only ones
who can bribe people with corn.

You got that right.

Looks like
a mexican standoff, boys.

[Mumbling]

Leon!

[Mexican music playing]

I swear to god
I'll strike first.

Not if I strike first
first!

Then grab your socks,
'cause I'm launching.

So am i!

Screw those idiots.
We're launching.

Awesome!

Go ahead.
Put your launch key in.

Go! Go! Go!

I can't.
It's on my dresser.

Well, go get it!

No can do.
Dresser seceded from me.

What?

And my dresser
is a changeatron.

See, the changeatrons
fled their home planet

To escape
the evil plumbots,

And they came to earth
disguised as quality
furniture,

Where they lived
for generations in peace.

But the plumbots
followed them here,

And so the persecution
began anew.

And we let them
into our homes, sparks,

And let those evil
plumbots into our... Aah!

Ugh! Ugh!

Don't be afraid
to choke up on it.

Ok, sealabians.

Get ready
for a nuclear holocaust

Which will end all life
on the entire planet
of earth!

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait,
wait.

Wait.

Did brad call?

For the glory of quinnsixia!

[Speaking dolphin]

Hush, fatty.

[Laughing]

[Clank]

Are you dead?

No. Are you?

Oh, yeah. Totally.

Dammit! Them perfidious
limeys sold us duds!

Boy, they better not sing
a damn song about it.

Captioning made possible by
warner bros.

♪ Dig these choppers ♪

♪ These choppers can't be beat ♪

♪ Corn on the cob is one of
our favorite things to eat ♪

♪ Dig these choppers ♪

♪ These choppers can't be beat ♪

♪ Corn on the cob is one of
our favorite things to eat ♪

That's absolutely
terrible, tasty.

Man, this damn show.

Dude, it just
keeps on getting lamer.

Random-a*s
confusing bullsh...

No! Bad dresser.