(water lapping)
(no audio)
(moody piano music)
(moody piano music continues)
(eerie piano music)
(crow cawing)
(eerie music continues)
(eerie music continues)
(eerie music continues)
(eerie music continues)
(bicycles clattering)
- That's the place.
- Spooky!
- [Gavin] It doesn't
look that scary.
- So you go first then.
- I'm not afraid!
- [Lyla] Good. So go inside.
- I'm scared.
Definitely scared.
Our mom says it's
okay to be scared.
(Lyla scoffs)
- Did you bring the bottles?
(bottles clinking)
- Yup!
Our dad had a bad day.
(Lyla sighs)
- You ready?
Whatever.
(gate rattling)
- Maybe we shouldn't go inside.
- Stop being such a baby.
- I think maybe we should go.
- Then go.
(quirky music)
- Dude, I'm not going in there.
It's haunted.
- Isn't that why we're going in?
- Pssh! I'm outta here, man.
Later.
(quirky music)
(tarp rustles)
- Lyla?
Lyla?
Lyla. Where are you?
Lyla?
Lyla?
(door slams)
Oh my God!
(suspenseful music)
- Boo!
(Wesley screams)
(Lyla giggling)
- You're such a baby, Wesley.
- At least I came
in. Gavin ran home.
- Huh. I guess you do
get points for that.
Come here. I think
I found the spot.
(mysterious music)
(backpack unzips)
(mysterious music)
(bottles clinking)
- So, what are we
supposed to do with it?
- I don't know.
Jimmy said you just
kind of chuck it.
- You're going first.
(Lyla sighs)
(bottle shatters)
(eerie music)
Whoa!
No freaking way!
- My turn!
(bottle shatters)
(eerie music)
I can't believe
Gavin is missing this
- Fortune flavors the bold.
(bottle shatters)
(eerie music)
(door creaking)
- [Wesley] What else do you
think this house can do?
- I don't know, but
we have to find out.
- Totally.
(bottle shatters)
(eerie music)
Huh?
(bottle thuds and clatters)
Ow!
Did you see that?
- I'll never forget
it. That was brilliant.
- No, I saw something.
Over there.
- Probably just a shadow.
- We should go. Could
be the neighbors.
(cello playing)
- Maybe just a TV or something?
- Lyla, where are you going?
Lyla?
- Just one second.
(cello playing continues)
(cello playing continues)
Huh?
(suspenseful music)
(Lyla screams)
Help! Help, Wesley!
- Lyla!
(doorknob rattling)
Lyla, I can't get it open!
- Wesley!
- Lyla!
- Wesley.
Help! Help!
- Lyla, I can't get it open!
Lyla!
(doorknob rattling)
I can't get it open!
(eerie music)
- We could ask him
to open the door.
- And then you
could play with him.
- Lyla, I'm sorry!
(muffled screaming)
(dramatic music)
Lyla!
Lyla!
(muffled screaming)
Lyla!
(Lyla spits)
Lyla!
(Lyla coughing)
- Keep going.
- Lyla!
- I'm not going back in there!
(suspenseful music)
(Lyla and Wesley panting)
(door creaks)
(eerie cello music)
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music continues)
(insects chirring)
(birds chirping)
(chirring and
chirping continues)
(chirring and
chirping continues)
(peeing)
(belt rattling)
(pants zip)
(pee dripping)
- Hey!
How was the pee funnel?
- Ryan, it's a female
urination device.
And I'm never using one again.
- At least you tried it.
- Are you sure you
don't need to go?
- Yeah. All good.
- Okay.
(turns on radio)
(channels scanning)
- You're not gonna
find anything out here.
- There's always something.
- Start driving and
you'll get a station.
- I can't drive without music.
- What were we doing
for the last four hours?
- We were talking.
- So now we're done talking?
- Well keep talking then
if you wanna keep talking.
- Oh so now I have to
do all of the talking.
(music playing on radio)
- Ah!
Now we can drive.
(upbeat pop music)
(upbeat music continues)
(upbeat music continues)
I had a dream that
I was in the circus
Climbing high upon
the wire without a net
My highest yet
I would never
fall but if I did
I'd be laughing
like a little kid
Time to time I get too
high and miss a step
(Jules chuckles)
Did you see this photo
Max posted from Mexico?
- Oh, yeah.
- You didn't even look.
- I glanced. I saw it
earlier on my phone.
- Okay, so which is it, you
glanced or you saw it earlier?
- Both.
- You're always on your phone.
(Jules sighs)
Now I'll just act naturally
Try to hide the fear
so they don't see
But it's in this song
Someday maybe
baby life goes on
Life goes on
Life goes on and on
and on and on and on
You know how people
say that... (chuckles)
when you die, your life flashes
before your eyes, right?
- Yeah.
It's like a big previously
on before the final episode.
- Yeah, so, if that's true,
then at any point you
could stop and wave
at your future
dying self, right?
Leave a little message.
- And say what?
"Hey, you did good, Ryan.
I know you're dying right now.
That must suck.
That's really tough.
But, Ryan, you did good."
- Yeah, or like,
"I hope you got your sh*t
together." (chuckles)
- Jules, look out!
(tires skidding)
(Jules shouts)
- Jesus!
Get the hell out
of the road, kid!
- Come on. It's not
like it's his fault.
- Hey, you all right, kid?
- Wesley, let's go!
(Ryan sighs)
Well, kids are a sign
of a nice neighborhood,
you know, property
values and stuff.
- No, they're a bad omen,
like a black cat
crossing your path.
- You can't say that.
- Kids are like
oranges in a mob movie.
- That's not a thing.
- Ugh.
I feel like we just opened
an umbrella indoors,
or walked under a
tunnel of ladders.
- Kids aren't bad luck.
- Well, they're not exactly
rabbits feet either.
(eerie music)
- [Ryan] Okay, so that's
16. Evens are on this side.
(Jules and Ryan chattering)
That's 17.
- [Jules] 23! Here we are.
- [Ryan] All roads lead to home.
(music fades)
- Well, it's not exactly
what I'd expected.
- Come on. Get up.
And remember, it's what's
on the inside that counts.
- [Jules] Ryan, we don't
even have the keys yet.
- I don't think it's locked.
Besides, bank already took our
money. I'm moving in early.
- Fine. Whatever.
Guess I'm the adult today.
(clunking)
Ryan?
Ryan?
Everything okay in there?
Ryan?
(acoustic guitar playing)
Say nighty night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and
tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone
and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but
I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
(camera shutter clicks)
- Jesus!
- Oh, that was beautiful!
- I hope you don't mind.
I recorded some of it
to post to Instagram.
- Uh, can we help you?
- I'm Alice.
The realtor.
- Oh! Alice from the website.
I am so sorry. I'm Ryan.
Nice to finally meet you.
This is my fianc, Jules.
- Oh, it is so fantastic
to meet you both.
It's so good to put your
faces to our emails.
Oh, and let me be the
first to say welcome home.
(ominous music)
So everything with the
bank went through. Yay!
So all that's left are just a
few signatures here and there.
- [Ryan] Uh-huh.
- I know, it probably
looks intimidating,
but if you think about it,
they're just words
on paper, right?
- What's this review release?
- Oh, that simply
gives me permission
to use your review for
marketing purposes.
- I haven't written a review.
- Well, not yet.
But I did take the liberty
of putting together
some of your positive
statements from your emails.
- Well, I guess I
did technically say
each of these words.
- Do we really need to sign
all of these right now?
I mean, we haven't even seen
the rest of the house yet.
- Oh, well you did just
sign away your walkthrough.
Yeah.
But we could do something quick.
- Great, great.
That'd be wonderful.
- Okay, great. Quick,
quick little tour.
But you know what?
First I really need
you to sign this one.
Everything else can wait,
but this one makes the
house officially yours.
- Okay.
(ominous music)
- Excellent! (gasps)
It's all yours!
Shall we tour?
So you have already
discovered the sitting room,
and over here are the bedrooms.
After you.
(ominous music)
(door creaks)
(Alice exhales)
So this is the master bedroom.
It's 115 square
feet. Closet space.
Beautiful view of the sunrise.
(plucks cello string)
- The estate didn't
want any of this?
- Looks like they
left in a hurry.
- Well, they didn't die.
I'm required to tell you
if the most recent
owners died in the house.
And I am happy to report
that they did not die here.
- Great.
- Great.
That's great.
- On with the tour.
This is what I like
to call the nursery,
or it would make a
great kids' room.
- Yeah, we're not really
doing the kids thing,
but I think this room would
make a fantastic office.
(quirky music)
(Jules and Ryan chattering)
(quirky music continues)
(chattering continues)
- Get out!
Let's get out!
It's a beautiful day.
Let's leave right now.
(quirky music)
A little to your left.
Oh, I meant right.
A little more.
No, wait, half the distance
back the other way.
And smile.
(camera shutter clicks)
I think we should do another.
You go ahead and look,
but I think we should do
another with more smiling.
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Who's that?
(curious music)
- It's me! (laughs)
I'm sorry to barge in like this,
but I just had to come
over and introduce myself.
I'm Peggy, your
neighbor.
- I think you two are going
to be very happy here.
I have to leave.
- What about the rest
of the paperwork?
- Oh, no, don't worry about it.
Again, congratulations!
You're a perfect fit!
- She is very nice.
I am really gonna miss
having her around.
- So, anyway.
I'm Jules. This is
my fianc, Ryan.
- Unmarried and cohabitating.
Very edgy, very hip.
- It was lovely meeting you,
but we've been in
the car a whole week,
and we've got a lot
of work ahead of us.
- Yeah, we're
already so tired, so.
- Of course.
Anything, don't hesitate to ask.
It's lovely meeting
you. (chuckling)
Bye. (laughing)
(lively music)
- This is a totally
normal neighborhood.
Huh
(lively music)
(plastic rustling)
(tablecloth swishes)
(Ryan coughing)
Huh
(lively music)
(lively music continues)
(bat squeaking)
(Jules shouting)
- It's a bat!
Ryan, there is a bat.
Bat in the house!
(lively music)
(toilet flushing)
(dishes clacking)
(lively music continues)
Huh
(books thudding)
(lively music continues)
Huh
(lemonade pouring)
- Well, the rooms are all swept,
and the kitchen looks amazing.
- Well, I needed it ready
for you to cook for me.
- Oh. Oh. (imitating
French accent)
(Ryan laughing)
Well, then tonight,
we will feast!
For our main entree, some
premium leftovers from 2003.
Some perfectly brown banana.
And for dessert,
some chilled peanut
butter from 1999.
But of course, we cannot cook
without the most
important spice.
Music!
Alexa, play "saxy" music.
(quirky music)
Close enough!
Oh, yes!
You know how to cook, yes?
- Ya. (imitating German accent)
Maybe we bring the peanut
butter into the bedroom.
(Ryan laughing)
- Oh, you are reading my mind.
(Jules laughing)
(doorbell rings)
What?
Are we expecting anyone?
- Nobody texted me.
(Ryan sighs)
- Should we ignore it?
(Jules sighs)
- It could be more neighbors.
We should say hello.
- Oh my god!
Max!
- Alive and in the flesh!
Draw!
(quirky music)
Bang!
- Bam!
(Max laughs)
(Jules groans)
(Jules laughing)
What are you doing here?
- Yeah, Max, what
are you doing here?
- [Max] You said
stop by anytime.
- We've been here 10 hours.
- Yeah.
- Here, let me
help you with that.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.
(gear clanking)
(Ryan grunts)
Wow!
I dig the digs, dog!
I can't believe you have a house
- It's all mine.
I could burn it
down if I wanted.
(Ryan sighs)
- Along with everyone inside.
(gear clanking)
- No, I mean, this
is really nice.
You deserve this, Jules.
- Thanks.
- So, Max, how did you find us?
(Max laughs)
- That is a really
funny story, actually.
So, your realtor took a
picture of you guys, right,
and then tagged you in it.
But she didn't turn off
the geolocation data,
so I used that to
track you down.
But then I messaged
her directly,
and I said she
needed to turn it off
and that, if she didn't,
she'd be seeing me.
- Poor Alice.
So, how was Mexico?
- Ugh, boring.
Hot.
But I mean, the fruit was good.
They fired me
before I could learn
the Spanish words for "I quit".
So.
- Renuncio. Yo renuncio
I quit.
- Oh, oh yo renuncio.
Si! Bueno! Veridad!
- Espera. Nosotros nos
cuidamos uno al otro.
- Si!
Bueno!
Pantalones!
Spanish.
(all laughing hysterically)
(laughing continues)
- So I just look at him. I
stare him right in the eyes.
And I just start pissing again!
(all laughing hysterically)
- No, no.
How did you have any left?
- Oh, Jesus, Max.
You're the bravest idiot I know.
(Jules laughing)
- I can see why you
quit, or tried to.
- I mean, I've got something
lined up, up near Reno,
but it doesn't start
for another week or so,
so I was thinking maybe...
- [Jules] Of course
you can stay here.
- [Ryan] Totally.
Honestly, we could really
use the extra pair of hands.
- Oh my goodness. Thank
you so much, guys.
That helps me out a ton.
- Dude, mi casa es
su casa, hermano.
- We've got the perfect
room for you too.
(door opens)
- I think we have an
air mattress somewhere.
- Ah, no, no. Why bother?
This is perfect.
(Max grunts)
- [Jules] Are you sure?
- Oh yeah.
(bed frame clanging)
See?
- Okay. (chuckles)
I'm really happy you're here.
Okay, goodnight.
(Max sighs)
(bag rustling)
(eerie music)
(eerie music continues)
- I was thinking tomorrow we
could go get the paint stuff
and get all the supplies we
need to fix the front door.
- We should do stained
glass. Big Jesus layout.
(Ryan chuckles)
- You don't want to give the
neighbors the wrong idea.
- I don't wanna give
the neighbors anything.
- Then I will
scratch the cookies
I was going to bake tomorrow.
(Jules gasps)
- Your dad's cookies?
You have to make the cookies.
- Dad's cookies are meant
to be shared, Jules.
- Fine.
We can give the creepy
neighbors some cookies.
- Speaking of creepy,
Max is tracking us?
- It's not that weird.
That's just technology,
and that's just Max.
- I knew that he would show up
from time to time here or
there, and that's fine.
That's totally fine.
But, on the first
night in our new home?
- If he's here,
it's because he has
nowhere else to go.
- I know, I know, I know.
It's our first home.
Our first night.
- You're so romantic.
(Ryan scoffs)
Max never stays anywhere long.
He'll be here a few days,
and then he'll be off
on his next new adventure.
- Well his adventure
this week is hard work.
- You know,
(imitating german
accent) we could
still make the
first night special.
(Ryan chuckles)
- He's right down the hall
from us. He'll hear everything.
- You mean he'll hear you.
- I'm expressive.
- He's always in his headphones.
He won't hear you. Us.
(Ryan grumbles)
(smacks pillow)
You just stay right here.
(imitating German accent)
And I'll be right
back. (giggles)
(Ryan panting)
(brushing teeth)
(brushing hair)
(hair tearing)
(brushing teeth)
Doctor! (imitating
German accent)
I have a problem I was hoping
you could help me with.
(Ryan snoring)
I guess I will die
then. (inhales)
(Jules sighs)
(bed creaking)
(cello playing)
Ryan?
Ryan, do you hear that?
(Ryan grumbling)
- I need to get my
crepe pans reseasoned.
(cello playing continues)
(mysterious music)
(mysterious music continues)
(suspenseful music)
(Jules gasps)
- Hell!
- Jesus!
- Did you hear that music?
- Sorry, did I hear what?
(music playing in headphones)
(Jules sighs)
- Nevermind. I'm just...
I'm just tired.
- Okay.
Weirdo. (giggles)
(mysterious music)
(Max screams)
- Oh, son of a b*tch! Mm.
Hey Max, can you shut up and
come hold this for a sec?
I'm trying to
finish my frittata.
But yeah, I'll help
you in a minute.
- [Jules] You've been
working on your frittata
for over an hour.
- Mm. It isn't art.
(imitating French accent)
(bin rattles)
Not just a breakfast.
- Mm!
It is good.
It's like a museum in my mouth.
- You are a sh*t curator.
Look, you've ruined my art!
No, no, no, no! Hands
notta on my frittata.
- Rent's due.
- Give me that!
You're both animals!
(Ryan chuckling)
- Are you going to
make me breakfast?
- [Ryan] You haven't
had breakfast?
- I slept late.
- [Ryan] I'm sorry.
There's cold pizza.
- You shouldn't have.
- I would love to make you
a four-course breakfast,
but I'm on my way over
to the hardware store.
Have you noticed the
locks don't work?
- [Jules] Which locks?
- All of them. Front,
back, both bathrooms.
Max and I learned
that last night.
It's weird, right?
- Yeah.
Maybe the previous owners
were super anti-privacy.
- [Ryan] Well, I am pro-privacy.
- I am also pro-privacy.
- I'll be back with new locks.
- Okay. Just shake the tarp
three times so I know it's you.
- Hey, uh you don't mind if
I smoke in your house, right?
(Max coughing)
Good? We're good.
(Jules sighs)
- Hello!
- Jesus!
- Good morning.
- [Ryan] Good morning, Peggy.
- Lovely day, isn't it?
- Sure. Great clouds?
- So, who was that
handsome young man I saw?
- Max?
Max?!
He's my soon-to-be
brother-in-Law.
- Oh, the whole family
living together.
- It's very temporary.
- Isn't everything?
- You know, Peggy, I am
baking some cookies tonight,
and I would love
to bring some by
but I'm just still not
sure where your house is.
(Peggy laughs)
- Oh, I just remembered,
I left some tea on the stove,
and I mustn't let it boil over.
I will talk to you later.
Good luck at the hardware store.
Bye.
(Ryan scoffs)
(timer ticking)
- Phone.
- Call.
Call, phone.
- Phone, okay.
- Phone, okay.
- Second word, two syllables.
- Two words?
Two syllables.
- Second word.
- Second word.
- Phone something.
Box.
- [Ryan] Chalkboard.
Two syllables.
Hat.
- Hat.
Beard.
- Hat, beard.
Top hat.
- Top hat.
(Max claps)
Okay.
Sneak.
- Sneaking.
- Creep.
- Secret agent.
Secret...
- Phone.
sh**t.
- sh**t.
- [Jules] sh**ter.
- [Ryan] Top hat.
- [Jules] k*ller.
- [Ryan] Top shot.
- m*rder*r.
Phone...
- I don't know.
(timer dings)
It was phone booth! Phone booth!
- Oh, John Wilkes Booth!
- John Wilkes Booth!
- Phone booth!
I was right there!
- Gosh, you guys
suck at this game.
- All right, my turn.
- I didn't get that at all.
- Okay.
(Jules exhales)
- One word.
- One word.
- Three syllables.
- Three syllables.
(knocking on door)
- It's Peggy.
- I'm sorry to stop
by at such an hour.
- It's 5:30.
- I know, I know.
I was just in need
of some flour.
- Sure.
How much do you need?
- Just one, maybe two.
- Coming right up.
- I love what you've done with
the place. It's very modern.
Hi, I don't believe
we've had the pleasure.
I'm Peggy, one of the neighbors.
- Hi, I'm Max, Jules's brother.
It's nice to meet you.
(Peggy chuckles nervously)
- Charmed.
Will you be staying long?
(Max chuckles)
- [Max] No, just
a couple of days.
- So what are you making?
- Excuse me?
- Making.
With the flour?
- Oh, the flour.
I'm cooking. (laughs)
Cooking cookies.
(tense music)
Oh, actually, I just remembered.
I need to leave. We
all need to leave.
(eerie music)
(eerie music continues)
(eerie music continues)
I'm sorry. I will get
that flower tomorrow.
(plate rattling)
Oh, the wind!
Oh, I just saw a big gust from
that window right over there.
These old houses
sure are drafty.
I need to go.
- Two flours, as requested.
- Ah, bless you.
(cello playing)
- Do you hear that?
- No. Nothing.
- Is that a cello?
- Ah, it sounds like
squeaky floorboards to me.
- I am not crazy. Max,
you hear that, right?
- Yeah, I definitely hear that.
- Oh, it's my car radio. I
must have left it on. (laughs)
I'll just go and
shut that right off!
- It sounds like it's
coming from inside.
- Everybody stop!
(laughing maniacally)
Oh, apologies.
Oh.
I am sensitive to the commotion.
Thank you for the flour.
Have a good evening.
(all screaming)
- Knife in head!
Knife in the head!
- Oh my god!
- [Max] That is a real
knife in the head!
(Peggy chuckles)
Knife in the head!
(overlapping shouting)
- Okay, well, it is
what it looks like.
(overlapping screaming)
Can we do some breathing
exercises together?
I don't, I don't breathe.
(overlapping screaming)
You guys, get it
together, all right?
We'll do it on the
count of three.
Terrific.
- [Children] Come play with us.
(all three screaming)
(children growling)
- Oh dear.
(eerie music)
(all three panting)
- Holy sh*t.
(Ryan vomits)
Holy sh*t!
Holy sh*t!
- Max! We get it!
- Get what? What just happened?
- So you're saying those were...
- Yeah.
- And that means
that the house is...
- Uh-huh.
- So we're totally...
- Yup.
- I don't understand.
Did we take drugs earlier?
Am I on drugs right now?
- What are we gonna do?
- Burn it down?
- We wouldn't have a home.
- We don't have
a home now, Ryan.
I'm not going back in there.
- I don't understand
what is happening!
Were those your
neighbors or what?
- Ghosts, Max!
(slaps face)
We have f*cking ghosts!
(slaps face)
(Max panting)
Una fa- Una fantasma!
- How many of those
papers did you not sign?
- The bank has
the money already.
- You are worried
about money right now?
- That's something you do
when you have money, Max!
- Did you just spend all your
money on a haunted house, Max?
No.
So, shut up!
- I know, I know,
I know, I know.
In the morning we'll
call the realtor,
and we'll put the house
up, back on the market.
- Yeah. (laughs)
We were dumb enough to buy it.
(Jules and Ryan laughing)
- Exactly.
Exactly. We're gonna be fine.
- We're gonna be fine.
- We're gonna be fine.
(both laughing)
- Una fantasma!
(all laughing maniacally)
una fantasma!
(all laughing hysterically)
(birds chirping)
(Max groans)
(birds chirping)
- Good morning.
(Max whimpering)
(Max screaming)
Oh!
- No! No!
Get away from us!
(all whimpering)
(magical energy slams)
(all three panting)
- If you would like to have
a civilized conversation,
I will be inside
(all three groaning)
(no audio)
(trap rustling)
(low eerie music)
(no audio)
Honey.
Milk.
Suit yourself.
(all three gasp)
Go ahead. Get it out.
Let it all out.
You'll get used to it.
- We cannot stay here.
(phone buzzing)
- Hello. This is Alice.
- [Ryan] Alice, this
is Ryan Campbell.
I just wanted to
get a hold from you.
We've been having a-
- No!
- [Ryan] Hello?
- No, no, no.
No, no, no, no!
- [Ryan] Alice, hello?
Alice, wait, wait, wait!
(faucet running)
Hello?
Hello.
(Ryan grunts)
Hello?
God damn it!
(Peggy laughs)
- I would be very surprised
if Alice ever came back here.
- Yeah? Why?
What'd you do to her?
- Nothing.
I just wanted to be friends.
- We'll get another realtor.
- Peggy, how long was
the house for sale
before we bought it?
- Not too long.
Let's see. Seven, 70, 1971.
- 50 years?
It could be 50 years?
- We'd die here
- You might not want that.
- Ooh! This is really good tea.
- Max, don't
compliment the ghost.
- We mostly stay out of the way.
- We?
How many of you are there?
- If I said more than three,
would that be too many?
- Is there any way you
could...not haunt us?
- Haunt? Excuse me!
I have been nothing
but polite and kind.
I welcomed you to
the neighborhood,
I gave this house a fertility
blessing, and I made tea!
- We're supposed to
be thrilled over tea?
- It is really good tea.
- Hold up.
We need to talk about
this fertility blessing.
- Oh, we have so much
to talk about. (giggles)
Unless of course you have
somewhere else to go.
(Jules laughs)
sh*t.
(Ryan and Jules crying)
(upbeat rock music)
Imagine me and you
I do
I think about
you day and night
It's only right
To think about
the girl you love
Jeez!
And hold tight
So happy together
If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the
world could be
So very fine
So happy together
(Max screaming)
I can't see me
lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
(children screaming)
When you're with me
Baby the skies'll be blue
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss
the dice it had to be
The only one for me
is you and you for me
So happy together
- Why?
I can't see me
Lovin' nobody but you
- Just let me poop!
Everybody needs to poop!
For all my life
When you're with me baby
the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss
the dice it had to be
The only one for me
is you and you for me
So happy together
(home buyers screaming)
So happy together
- Oh my god!
And how is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
(Max grunts)
So happy together
(music fades)
(Ryan yawns)
- If I have to tell Peggy
not to follow me into the
bathroom one more time,
I'm going to rip that
knife out of her head
and shove it back in!
- I don't think you can
k*ll a ghost, Jules.
- How much longer can
we live like this?
- As long as we have to.
- I just...
I just wanted a normal home.
(Ryan sighs)
- Me too. Me too.
Nothing about this is
fair or makes sense,
but we've been managing.
I wouldn't be getting
through this without you,
even without Max.
- No, no.
This isn't just some sentimental
"at least we're still
together" situation, okay?
This is a god damn haunting!
Those are dead people.
And sometimes, Ryan, I
swear I can smell them.
Dead people.
- It's our first
home, a starter home.
They all have quirks.
- Quirks?
- Yeah.
I think in a few years we'll
look back on this and laugh.
- Nobody is laughing right now.
I'm not laughing.
You're not laughing.
- But why is laughter
so important?
- You brought it up.
- But I was imagining our
blissful, ghost-less future.
- Which you find
laughable apparently.
- Yes. I see our future
filled with laughs.
I'm a monster.
- You're a hairy monster.
- Ooh.
Monster has an itch.
(Jules chuckles)
(Ryan and Jules kissing)
(cello playing)
- Uh...
- It's kind of romantic.
- It's a ghost, Jules.
- No.
- A dead person.
- But it's just music.
It's nice, romantic music.
- Okay.
(Ryan and Jules kissing)
(water dripping)
What the hell?
- Oh my God!
I've never actually
seen it before!
- Oh my god!
This is too much.
- No, no. Totally, totally.
For sure.
But I mean, it's not
like...she can exactly see us.
- [Ryan] I can see her.
No, what I'm saying is it's
not like she's watching us.
- Uh...
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
(Jules chuckles)
(Ryan and Jules kissing)
(cello playing)
(water dripping)
- [Children] K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
(Jules screams)
- First comes love,
second comes marriage,
next comes a baby
in a baby carriage!
- Get outta here,
you little shits!
- That's it! I am done!
We are not doing this!
I'm calling a professional!
(doorbell rings)
- Hi.
You must-
- Shh.
(eerie music)
Shh!
Bag!
(medium murmuring)
(medium murmuring)
(medium murmuring)
(medium trilling)
Yes.
It is good that you called.
- I told you.
- Hmm.
(medium clicks tongue)
(medium muttering)
That's trouble right there.
(eerie music)
(medium droning)
Nope.
(medium murmuring)
Ugh.
(medium sighs)
(medium murmuring)
There is a very
dark energy in here.
- I knew it!
- Yes, you can feel it.
- What do we do?
- Well, honey, the good news is
is we can balance this energy.
I recommend our full
cleanse package.
That includes our premium sage
with a top-to-bottom smudging,
a liter of holy water,
and a package of holy
salt, all certified.
(brochure fluttering)
(Jules chuckles)
- Premium sage?
- I have more affordable
value options,
but the weaker sages
don't last as long,
so I'd just be back
in a month. (laughs)
Oh!
(medium wails)
(medium moaning)
How do you sleep here?
- We don't.
So, how do we use the holy
salt? Can we bake with it?
Do we need to cook
it with garlic?
Should we put it with
the holy water, or-
- How does this get
rid of the ghosts?
- Uh-uh-uh-uh.
I don't sense the
presence of any ghost.
There is a great
energy imbalance.
But an incorporeal
infestation is much more rare.
- No, lady.
We have ghosts.
Like a few, at least.
- It's true.
- Muchas phantasma.
- It's actually why we called.
- Ugh!
(medium humming)
Boo! (chuckles)
(bag unzipping)
(medium gasps)
Mm!
This here is a rosa sacris.
It will turn black if a
dark spirit is nearby!
- Ours are mostly just annoying.
(eerie music)
(medium chants)
(medium chants)
(medium chants)
(music fades)
See?
Nothing.
- Okay, well then, Peggy.
Peggy you can, you
can come on out.
She's usually always around.
Peggy!
- Peggy, you wanna
have some tea?
- She's really chatty.
There's also a couple of kids.
- Oh, so not one ghost,
but several. (chuckles)
Well, that would
probably require
our Platinum Deluxe
exorcism package.
It's not cheap, and
it's not pretty.
But it will eliminate
every single ghost.
(brochure fluttering)
- All of them?
(medium screams)
- A ghost!
A real ghost!
- Told you.
- It's never actually a ghost?
How exciting!
What an opportunity.
- So you can do
something about this?
- I'm right here, Ryan.
I can hear you
conspiring to k*ll me.
(Max chuckles)
- Peggy, you're already dead.
- And yet, I'm still here.
- Ooh!
- Yeah, it's a
knife in the head.
- You get used to it.
- Ooh!
She went through the door!
I've always wanted to do that.
- Yeah.
That's what ghosts do.
- Honestly, I've never
actually seen one.
- Isn't this your job?
- Usually I'm just nickel and
dimming superstitious people
when there's a
squirrel in the attic,
but this sh*t is the real deal.
Woo!
(medium scatting)
Oh. Mm.
- About that titanium
deluxe exorcism package,
that'll get rid
of all the ghosts?
- Oh, no!
Ghosts aren't rubbish
to be thrown out!
We can talk to them,
maybe negotiate,
get your weekends
back. (chuckles)
- What are we gonna do?
- One question.
How many batteries do you have?
(switch clicks)
(salt rattling)
(mysterious music)
Now, my grandmother, on the
other hand, saw several ghosts.
I'm talking hundreds of ghosts.
She traveled all through Europe,
dated a n*zi...
spy.
Performed an exorcism
for the Pope.
It was uh, Pope... Pious the...
seventh! Mm hmmm
Anywho, she foolishly
stopped in Transylvania.
Oof.
She never recovered.
So she's dead, or...
- Jules, she's a vampire.
- Vampires aren't real.
- Ryan we're in a
house full of ghosts
you're drawing a hard line
at vampires? - I think it
was a n*zi thing, right
- Everybody, sit!
It's not a seance unless
everybody's sitting.
Ay, ay, ay.
Ah! Mind the
protective salt circle
(chair slides)
Very good.
(eerie music)
- Is this safe?
- We are in a haunted house, hm?
We left safe a long time ago.
(medium inhales deeply)
Join hands, please.
(tense music)
(claps hands)
Hello lost spirit!
Hear me! (wailing)
I'm kidding. (chuckles)
That's ridiculous.
(medium chanting in
foreign language)
(all chanting in
foreign language)
(all chanting)
(eerie whispering)
I sense...
I sense a spirit.
(ghostly whispering)
Many spirits, actually.
(ghostly whispering)
Good God, this place is loaded!
- Can you ask them to leave?
(medium stuttering)
(ghostly whispering)
- They say they cannot.
Oh.
They are...
... stuck
- Okay, well, can you ask
them to leave us alone?
(medium humming)
- Well, they want you
to leave them alone.
- Ah, makes sense.
They were here first.
Hm?
- They want you to leave
for your own... (coughs)
(medium coughing)
Excuse me.
For your own... (coughing)
Your own... (coughing)
(medium gasps)
Looky!
(chair slides)
This is legit.
Mm.
Sorry.
I lost connection there.
I will attempt to...
(inhales deeply)
reconnect.
(Ryan exhales)
- Please stop.
This is a really bad idea.
Please stop.
- I hear something! A voice!
- We all do. It's Peggy.
- Oh, amazing!
The ghost returned.
The ghost returned.
The ghost returned.
- You. You need to stop!
- I think just the opposite.
We should go further.
- Please stop.
You will wake him.
- Maybe we should listen to her.
- No, no, no.
We'll be just fine.
(medium wailing)
(medium chanting in
foreign language)
(chanting continues)
(medium coughs)
Well, that's never
happened before. (laughs)
(ominous music)
(light switch clicks)
(Peggy gasps)
- Oh no. He's here.
- Who is?
- The Dead Man.
(rose drying)
- Well, that's a terrible
name for a ghost. (laughs)
Am I right?
I mean, they're
all already dead-
(medium panting)
(suspenseful music)
(medium growls)
(ominous music)
- Mortals playing games.
I've got a game
for you.
It's called
hide
the body.
(suspenseful music)
(neck snaps)
(Max shouts)
(Ryan gasps)
(grim music)
(Ryan breathing heavily)
- What?
(light switch clicks)
(Jules gasps)
It's not a very fun game.
(eerie music)
- [Ryan] You know,
I was gonna say
I was glad we didn't pay her,
but maybe we should
just pay her anyways.
- [Max] Look, if you guys do
call the police, let me know,
'cause I can't be here.
- [Jules] We're not
calling the cops.
I'm not telling the cops that
a ghost k*lled our medium.
Let's get this over with.
(shovels digging)
(tense music)
(all panting)
- Should we say something?
- Sorry?
I think we should say sorry.
- I really wanted to believe
that she knew what
she was doing.
- I was so sure she was.
- I did like her hair.
(all gasp)
- Peggy!
I didn't know that you
could come out here.
- Oh, yeah, all the
way from the back fence
to the front gate.
- You know what I realized?
Even if we do sell the house,
now there's gonna be a body
buried in the backyard.
- Oh, well that was
true when you bought it.
- What?
- What?
- So, how many
bodies does it take
before it's officially
a graveyard?
- 10, maybe 15?
- Oh, then this is
definitely a graveyard.
- Okay, can we at least
try to show some respect?
I mean, she is dead.
Okay, I'll... (clears throat)
We are gathered here today
to mourn the death of...
Did you get her name?
- No.
No.
- What was her name?
- I don't...
On the brochure it was
M.M. Mystic Emporium.
- M.M.? Okay, we got initials.
Okay, great. I can-
- This is the worst funeral
(all screaming)
I've ever seen!
And in my business, you
go to a lot of funerals!
(Max laughing)
You survived! (laughing)
Oh.
Oh...
Oh!
- Are you done?
(medium sighs)
Now, here lies Meghan
Marjorie Merkle IV,
patron of the mystic arts,
master of the mysteries,
and part-time psychic
to the stars. (chuckles)
- She was a wonderful woman.
The world is less without her.
She is survived by
her bitter mother,
her regrettably square
nine-to-five brother, Charles,
and, her son...
Bartholomeow.
May she rest in peace.
- Amen.
- Yeah.
- Except you're a ghost.
- I know!
Isn't it exciting?
- Ooh. Mm.
Look... (sighs)
There is something that I
need to come clean about,
something that I
should have told you
when we first became friends.
- Yeah. The Dead Man?
Peggy, are you talking
about the psychotic,
murderous Dead Man?
- No, what I actually want
to say to you is that-
- That we could have our
neck snapped at any second?
- Yes.
But the truth is
that the house is-
- Not safe.
Not safe. Not safe for anyone,
not even a trained mystic.
- Oh. Thank you, Ryan.
- Why do you think
she is still here?
- Because, as Ryan said, I
am a master of the mystics.
It's not surprising that I
mastered death. (chuckles)
(Peggy chuckling mockingly)
- Well, in that case,
I guess that I'm also
a "trained mystic."
Because the actual
truth is that,
if you die here,
you're stuck here.
- Oh, Peggy.
- How could you not
have told us this?
- Well, you look
young and healthy.
And I didn't think you were
gonna die anytime soon.
And I was lonely.
- What about the
neck-snapping Dead Man, Peggy?
- Well, this is
all highly unusual.
For the most part,
all of us ghosts
do not want any new residents.
That's why we work so
hard to scare you away.
- Well, it worked,
because we are getting the
hell out of here, tonight!
(determined music)
(Meg giggling)
Max, pack everything
you need. One bag.
- Got it.
- Where are we going?
- Anywhere but here.
(Meg giggling)
(ominous music)
(book clatters)
(book sliding)
(hatch closes)
- [The Dead Man] Interesting.
(drawer slides)
(bag unzips)
(Max exhales)
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
One bag, one bag, one bag.
- You don't have to
leave right away.
- Look, when Jules says pack
a bag, you just pack a bag.
- I've always wanted to
try ghost experiments.
Huh?
Hm?
- I'm gonna start the car.
- Okay.
(door slams and locks)
(door slams)
Ooh!
What's going to happen?
(window slams)
- Jules?
Jules.
- Ryan?
Ryan, unlock the door.
- I'm trying!
It's not working!
(doorknob rattles)
- [Max] Jules?
- Max, all the doors are locked.
I'm gonna go try a window.
(ominous music)
(doorknob sizzles)
(Jules shouts)
(Jules breathing heavily)
(ominous music)
(blades slice)
(Jules shouts)
Oh, son of a b*tch!
(Jules moans)
- Oh dear.
I am so sorry.
He must really not
want you to leave.
- Are you sure that it's him,
The Dead Man?
- He's the only one that
can control the locks.
- Do you have any idea
what he does want?
I thought we just
needed to leave.
- Apparently...
something's changed.
(Ryan groaning)
- Windows won't open either.
- That's not going to work.
- You're stuck in here.
- With us!
- [Children] Do you
wanna play a game?
(suspenseful music)
- No!
No, no! That is a bullshit move!
That has to be
against the rules.
- It's not. I checked.
(Ryan sighs)
- Stop whining, and
just play the game.
- You two are total little
shits, and you know it.
All right. My move.
(Max puffing)
(Meg chuckles)
- May I?
- Sure.
(air whooshing)
Damn! I almost felt it.
- That's weird.
I mean, Peggy picks
up stuff all the time.
She made us tea.
- Well, Peggy's been a
ghost for much longer.
Ooh!
Maybe I'll get stronger.
- Maybe. (coughing)
- Wait, can I cough?
(Meg hacking)
(Max coughing)
(both hacking)
Why can't I cough? (grunting)
- [Jules] Ouch!
- Oh, sorry.
- No, it's fine.
What do you think he wants?
- I don't know.
It's not as if we
have house meetings.
- Well, you might wanna start.
You really don't know
anything about The Dead Man.
- Oh, yes. The Dead Man.
(cello playing)
(water dripping)
- Oh my God!
- Oh.
Ah, don't mind her.
She just wants to play.
I think it's lovely.
- She's gotten a lot
better over the years.
- That's great.
So, The Dead Man?
- Oh yes. The Dead Man.
(cello playing)
(water dripping)
- Okay! What about him?
- Oh, well, that's
all we really know.
He's one of the oldest
and angriest residents.
We don't really
see him too much.
Just an old scary dead man.
You must have really
pissed him off.
- What? How?
We didn't do anything?
- Well, you did
bring a medium here.
- [Jules] So?
- So?
We're kind of, you
know, natural enemies.
- We are just trying
to live in our house,
- Well it was our house first!
(Max giggling)
(Max and Meg giggling)
- It tickles! It tickles!
- Fascinating.
Do me.
- Okay.
(Max giggles)
- Are there any
other ghost kids?
- We tried to make some
once, but Peggy said no.
- So, is Peggy your mom?
- No, we're way
older than Peggy.
- Yeah, but we're
still like kids though.
Like we like chocolate
and candies and
games and slapsticks.
- Yeah, but we're mature too.
I was eight when I died,
but I've basically lived
like 100 more years,
so I'm like in adult times two.
- Yeah, that's about right.
But
are you gonna make your move,
or are you gonna keep stalling
with these dumb questions?
- Excuse me, Tammy,
but a champion plays the
player, not the game.
Into the nebula vortex!
- Oh, sh*t!
- No way!
- Well, it was 1955, and
my father had just died.
So my sister, Paula and I,
we inherited this property.
We drove here from our
hometown. It took us two weeks.
Oh, cars were slower then.
So, the plan was to
fix up the house,
live in it for a little
while, and then sell it.
I was gonna take
some of my money
and spend the summer in Sicily.
Oh, I've always wanted to go.
- I'm guessing you
never got there.
- The place was a total wreck.
We had only been here
for a few days and, ugh,
mind you, there were
ghosts here then too.
So we brought out an appraiser,
and it turns out that the land
was worth a lot more
than we thought.
And well, well, well, Paula
wanted it all for herself,
so she (imitates
knife stabbing).
- She stabbed you in
the back of the head?
- No, she was aiming
for the front,
but I turned to
run away, so, ah!
- That's terrible.
- Well, it didn't work
out so well for Paula.
Remember I told you this
place is hard to sell?
I scared her every
night for a decade.
(both laugh)
- Serves her right.
- You know, it gets really
lonely being a ghost.
- But there are
tons of you in here.
- But everybody pretty
much keeps to themselves.
It's hard to make
friends when you're dead.
(Meg muttering)
Max, Max, I got it.
I know how you can get out!
- Yeah?
- If you just k*ll yourself,
you'll become a ghost,
and then you can walk
right outta here.
- Okay, even if I did
think that was a good idea,
I think you're forgetting
the fact that ghosts
can't leave the property.
- Oh, that's right.
Wait, am I stuck here?
(electricity crackles)
(ominous music)
Max?
This is less exciting now.
- What's going on?
- The power went out.
- Duh. But why?
(cello playing)
- Oh no.
What? what does that mean?
(water dripping)
- Never anything good.
- Ryan?
Ryan.
Ryan!
(ominous music)
- Guys, what's going on?
- If you die, just
know it's not that bad.
- Yeah, it's really easy to die.
(squelching)
- [Jules] Ryan.
- Jules?
Jules?
- Ryan, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm in here. I'm fine.
Something's scaring
the ghost kids.
- Yeah. Peggy's really
freaked out too.
(Ryan breathing heavily)
(tense music)
(Jules sighs)
We need to find a way out.
- We're gonna be okay.
We're gonna find
a way outta here.
- You doing okay in there?
- Yeah, actually.
Just been playing
a bunch of games.
Little Tommy is a shark.
(Jules chuckles)
Are you doing okay?
- I think I'll be fine.
May have developed
a doorknob phobia.
- When we get outta here,
let's buy a brand new house
a house that no one else
has ever lived in before.
- Yes. (laughs)
Vaulted ceilings for sure.
- Mm. Mm.
- Double sinks.
(Ryan chuckles)
And one of those overhead
showers with like the waterfall.
- Oh, yes.
Oh, a five-star bidet.
(Jules chuckles)
a robot butler that wakes you up
in the morning with stretches.
- This is the perfect
home. (imitating robot)
(both laughing)
I heard you laughing with
the ghost kids earlier.
You've always been
really good with kids.
Even dead ones, I guess.
(both chuckle)
- Yeah, well, you don't
have to feed the dead ones.
- And they can sleep outside.
(Ryan laughs)
(Ryan sighs)
You know,
I never said never.
- What?
Is that a Bond movie?
- To kids.
I never said never.
- Did you think I did?
- No, I just...
I know that you could...,
you could always go
both ways, and I,
I've kind of always
been one way,
the no way, but I don't know.
Wouldn't be the worst
thing in the world.
- Well, I could still go both
ways, if you know what I mean.
(Ryan laughs in a French accent)
Jules,
I'm with you,
for you.
(Ryan sighs)
It would mean a lot to me
if we could maybe
start thinking about
or start the conversation
towards getting a dog.
- Ryan!
I am allergic to dogs!
(Ryan chuckling)
- I know!
I could go for help, get
a message to the others.
- Yeah, that's smart!
- You know me.
- Wait!
I don't wanna be alone.
- Then I'll stay here.
- Well, maybe we
should figure out
what's going on
with Jules and Ryan.
- Mm, absolutely.
I'll be right back.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I might need you, though,
in case that scary
ghost comes back.
- Yeah, of course.
I am a master of
the mystic arts.
I'll protect you.
- That's right.
Maybe you can get the
doors open with magic!
- Good thinking!
I'll get my bag.
We'll get outta this, Max.
(slams into door)
(ominous music)
(door rattles)
Well, that's weird.
Usually I can just, you
know, (clicks tongue)
and it's real easy, but, uh...
- Stay...
- Oh my god!
- Let us talk
- We're trying to leave, man!
I thought that's
what you wanted!
- What I wanted
isn't what I want.
- Stay back, Dead Man!
I'm only more powerful
in my ghost form!
- Yeah!
- Wait, for real?
- Tell me, witch,
what do you know
about possession?
- Do you know what sucks?
This was supposed to
be our starter home.
Now it's turning out to be our-
(Max groans)
Max?
(Max screams)
- [Ryan] Jules?
- Max!
- What's going on?
(Max groaning)
(The Dead Man Snarling)
- [Jules] Max, can
you open this door?
- Jules? (bangs on door)
Jules. Jules, what's going on?
(The Dead Man snarling)
(suspenseful music)
- Max, I'm coming!
(The Dead Man snarling)
(suspenseful music)
(Jules gasps)
(delicate music)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(delicate music continues)
(eerie music)
(loud bang)
(music fades)
(Ryan breathing heavily)
(electricity crackles)
(Ryan groans)
- Damn it!
- Would anyone like some tea?
- No!
Nobody wants any of
your god damn ghost tea.
- It's just normal tea.
(Jules sniffles)
- What are we gonna
do about his body?
- I think we need to
get outta here first.
- And what, just leave him here?
- [Ryan] That's not
what I'm saying.
- Well, what are
you saying, Ryan?
- I'm saying we need to focus
on what is in front of us,
or we aren't gonna be able
to do anything about...
about a dead body.
- You mean Max's dead body?
Just say it, Ryan.
Max's dead body!
Max's dead body!
- [Ryan] Max's dead
body. Max's dead body.
There's nothing we
can do right now
about Max's dead body.
- Guys.
- We are stuck in here, and
if we don't find a way out,
nobody's body is gonna matter.
- Ryan, he's my-
- Guys!
There's something
we should address.
(eerie music)
- Oh!
Whoa!
What the hell?
(mysterious music)
Oh.
(Ryan growls)
Get out!
- Wait, Ryan.
(mysterious music)
(quirky music)
Bang! (laughs)
It's Max!
It's you! It's Max!
- Why can't we see him?
- Every ghost is different.
He must be shy.
- This is amazing.
I mean, well, it's terrible,
but this is amazing!
Are are you...
Are you okay?
(curious music)
- Your wrist hurts?
Peggy, do ghosts hurt.
- In many, many ways.
(curious music)
- No, charades. He's
trying to play charades.
(curious music)
(curious music continues)
Don't try and open the
door. Yeah, we got that.
(curious music)
(curious music continues)
There's something in the bag
that could help
us open the door?
- What do we need, the holy
salt, the sacred flower?
What do we use?
- All of it?
We just...
We just have to try all of it.
- We're gonna need some tea.
(bouncy music)
(bell tinkling)
(electricity crackling)
(Jules shouts)
(bouncy music)
(bouncy music continues)
(bouncy music continues)
(liquid splashes)
(electricity crackles)
Ow, ow!
(Ryan groans)
(bouncy music)
(muffled music)
(Meg gasps)
(The Always Dying Man wheezing)
(chains rattle)
(ominous music)
(patient wheezing)
- Hello?
(The Always Dying
Man whimpering)
Oh, sorry.
No.
Calm down.
(patient whimpering)
Breathe, man, breathe!
Easy.
There you go.
In and out.
Okay.
(patient whimpering)
(ominous music)
(patient gasping)
- He was dying when he died.
So now he's always dying.
- I get what you're saying,
but there's gotta be a
better way to say it.
- You're new.
Eventually you'll understand
that forever is a long
time to feel anything.
- And how long have you
felt like an as*h*le?
- I read your book, witch.
Yet my possession failed.
Why did the boy cease?
- His name was Max, and I'm
never going to help you.
- Then help... yourself.
(chains rattling)
- Uh, okay.
What is happening?
Uh.
(Meg choking)
(suspenseful music)
(Meg choking)
- Strange, isn't it?
To be dying forever.
(Meg choking)
- How am I choking if I
can't even cough? (choking)
(patient moaning)
(suspenseful music)
(The Dead Man growls)
(Jules exhales)
(no audio)
(Jules grunting)
Uh, Ryan?
I'm stuck.
- Pull harder.
- What do you think I'm doing?
- [Ryan] Pull harder.
(Jules groaning)
(Jules shouts)
(Jules screams)
- Ugh, fricking house!
- What's next, Max?
(bag rattling)
(Jules sighs)
- Maybe since it's a ghost
lock, we need a ghost key.
(curious music)
- We have ghost problems.
We need ghost solutions.
- That's what I just said!
- Peggy, I need the knife
outta the back of your head.
(Peggy laughs)
What? I mean, no.
No, no, no. It is stuck.
Believe me, I have tried.
- Just let me try.
Please, Peggy?
As a friend?
- Well, if you put it that way.
But you're wasting
your time. (chuckles)
She said friend.
(Jules exhales)
(curious music)
- Damn it!
How do you pick things
up in the real world?
- Oh, I don't know.
It's...
You just kind of
have to focus on it.
You have to think
without thinking.
Really, I think you mostly
have to just want it.
Like I want tea.
- Okay.
(Jules exhales)
(Jules exhales)
(Jules breathes deeply)
(curious music)
(Jules inhales)
(Jules laughs)
- Ooh!
(Peggy groaning)
(suspenseful music)
(Peggy groaning)
(Peggy and Jules screaming)
Oh!
Oh, that feels amazing!
(Jules laughing)
(Ryan laughing)
- Go! Go!
- Okay. Okay.
- Thanks, Peggy.
(Peggy sighs with relief)
- Wow.
(Jules breathing heavily)
(curious music)
(suspenseful music)
(Jules groaning)
(lock turns)
(Jules shouts)
(knife clatters)
(Ryan shouts)
- Jules, are you okay?
- Open it.
- Are you sure?
- Just do it!
(Ryan groans)
- Meg, you're all right!
Still dead, but all right.
(body slumps)
(ominous music)
(Ryan gasps)
- Worry not about the witch.
The dead can't die.
Mortals, however,
can do so very much.
- Oh dear! Sorry!
(punch thumps)
(The Dead Man growls)
(suspenseful music)
- The failed position.
(The Dead Man grunts)
(gloves thud)
- What the hell do you want?
- Stay back, dude!
Jesus will mess you up!
- I am not going to fight
you. (laughing maniacally)
(The Dead Man shrieks)
- Where'd he go?
- Who cares? Let's go.
(mysterious music)
(loud thump)
(Jules grunts)
- Yes, it's finally
time to leave.
(ominous music)
(Jules breathing heavily)
(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music continues)
(eerie music)
- Ryan?
Ryan, what's going on?
(eerie music)
(eerie music continues)
- All evening,
you've griped about
being stuck in this house
one short night,
whereas I...
I have spent centuries trapped,
imprisoned in this Hell maw.
Tonight, I leave this place.
May you enjoy your stay.
(Jules sobs)
- Ryan, I know you're in
there. Just fight him.
(Ryan whispering in
foreign language)
Ryan.
Ryan, I know you're in there.
(Ryan whispering in
foreign language)
Fight him, Ryan.
(Ryan whispering in
foreign language)
- My last possession
was not sealed,
something your witch
friend illuminated me to.
With a binding sacrifice, I
will finally leave this place.
(suspenseful music)
(Ryan choking)
Jules!
Jules, get out!
Go!
- Ryan!
- Go!
(The Dead Man snarls)
- No...
- Jules!
- Ryan.
Ryan, I know you're in there.
Ryan, fight him!
- Jules.
Jules, get out.
Go!
(The Dead Man and Ryan snarling)
You're not...
You're not gonna hurt her!
(Ryan groaning)
No.
You will!
(suspenseful music)
(Ryan growls)
(knife stabs)
(Peggy gasps)
- Ryan!
(blood dripping)
(Ryan groans)
(blood splashes)
(Ryan gasping)
- Jules.
(knife clatters)
(The Dead Man growls)
Jules. (groans)
- Fine.
You can be the
binding sacrifice.
I'll take a different vessel.
- Not so fast, pal!
When you asked me
about possession,
there were a few
things I left out.
Yay!
(The Dead Man laughing)
Mm. (cackles)
(The Dead Man laughing)
(Meg cackling)
Got you!
I got you, buddy.
Goochie, goochie, goo!
(Jules grunting)
(suspenseful music)
(Ryan groaning)
- No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
(Ryan groaning)
Ryan. Ryan.
(Ryan groaning)
(Jules cries)
(both breathing heavily)
- I could stay.
I could stay.
I could stay.
(Ryan groaning)
(emotional music)
(The Dead Man growling)
- No!
(emotional music)
(The Dad Man growls)
(emotional music)
(emotional music continues)
- No!
I'm getting you out of here!
(determined music)
(Ryan groans)
(Meg screams)
(The Dead Man snarls)
(Ryan groaning)
- Come on.
(water spraying)
- Ha!
Ghosts can't cross a
moving stream of water!
Why do you think
castles have moats?
(intense music)
(The Dead Man yells)
(Ryan yelling)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(TV static crackling)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music continues)
(TV static crackling)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music continues)
(dramatic music continues)
(knife slices)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
(Ryan coughing)
(Jules sobbing)
(Ryan coughing)
(TV static crackling)
I can see. I can see.
(water splashes)
(emotional music)
(TV static crackling)
I can see.
I can see.
- Shh, shh, shh.
- You were right.
- You know how people
say that... (chuckles)
when you die, your life flashes
before your eyes, right?
(Ryan laughing)
If that's true, then, at
any point, you could stop
and wave at your future
dying self, right?
Leave a little message.
- And say what?
"Hey, Ryan, you did good."
I know you're dying,
and that probably sucks,
but you did good.
(emotional music)
(TV static crackling)
(emotional music continues)
(strumming guitar)
Say nighty night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and
tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone
and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
(TV static crackling)
Stars fading but I linger on
(music fades)
- Ryan?
(Jules sniffles)
Ryan.
(Jules sobbing)
Ryan. (sobbing)
(emotional music)
Ryan!
(loud boom)
(birds chirping)
(chirping continues)
- Hey, Jules.
(delicate piano music)
- My God.
Ryan. (laughing)
(somber music)
- Sorry.
No more of those.
- It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you too.
(The Dead Man snarls)
(suspenseful music)
(Ryan choking)
- You took my freedom!
I will take yours.
(The Dead Man growls)
(Ryan choking)
(suspenseful music)
(The Dead Man growls)
Yes.
Yes!
Yes.
(Ryan yells)
(fire crackling)
(delicate music)
(delicate music continues)
(The Dead Man gasps)
I'm free.
(fire crackling)
I'm free.
(The Dead Man sobs)
Thank you.
(delicate music)
I'm free.
I am free.
I'm free.
(delicate music)
- Okay, so, is he dead dead?
- I think so.
(Jules crying)
- Ryan, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't...
I'm sorry we bought this stupid
house, and I wish that...
(Jules sobbing)
- You got me out of there.
That's what matters.
- So, what's it like?
Dying.
- Oh.
It's the easiest
thing you'll ever do.
Kinda like greeting
an old friend.
- Ooh.
Maybe I will try it sometime.
(imitating German accent)
(both chuckling and crying)
- No rush.
- You're not staying, are you?
- I died on this
side of the line.
I guess we're lucky we get this.
- Where will you go?
- I don't know.
Somewhere though.
I just feel like
I'm never gonna see you again.
- Never.
Never say never.
(Jules sobs)
(Ryan humming)
Dream a little dream of me
(somber music)
(Jules sniffling)
(music fades)
(birds chirping)
(Halloween toy screaming)
(trick or treaters chattering)
- [Child] Oh, that feels good!
- Petey?
Where are you?
Petey!
There you are!
Hey, bud.
Oh, good boy.
- Hey, lady.
You know your house
is haunted, right?
(tender piano music)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(tender music continues)
(music fades)
- It's not haunted.
There's just a bunch
of dead people inside.
(running footsteps)
(Jules chuckles)
(gentle music)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(gentle music continues)
(music fades)
(exciting music)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(exciting music continues)
(music fades)
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