02x16 - Ba-Ba Town

[bunniefuu]

Hold all my-- Whoa!

[laughing]

♪ Oh-doe-dee-oh, doe-doe ♪

♪ Ba-Ba Town
What a day in Ba-Ba Town ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh-doe-dee-oh... ♪

Morning, Mateo, how's the garden?

We'll have mashed carrots galore
this winter!

It's gonna be another sunshiny day.
And that's the news in Ba-Ba Town.

[chattering]

You're all goo-goo going to jail!

[all shouting]

[yelling]

Come here!

They call us the feds because
we feast on the souls of the wicked!

We are coming and we are starving!

[yelling]

♪ Oh, Ba-Ba Town ♪

[agent] Put them up, pudding cups!

[chuckles]

Bring down the justice hammer! [grunts]

Can you not see how bad that looks?

Obviously it's a simulation,

but I know we can take them
within minutes of crossing their border.

I mean, heh, they're babies.

Yes, babies.

Nobody's gonna care
that they're criminals.

All the public sees
is us going junkyard Doberman

on a playground's worth of infants.

-They'll hate us.
-Oh, really?

I got the mayor on the phone for this,

and he's on board.

Mayor Jimbo, putting you on speaker.

[Jimbo screaming]

[Staci] Listen, crewcuts!

Nobody's cracking baby skulls
in my husband's town.

You're the stinking feds!

You don't have a secret lab
to turn these crooks back into not-babies?

Not without the surgeon
who made them babies.

-We've been unable to locate Doctor--
-[whispers indistinctly]

Why would Theodore Templeton
be coming to us?

♪ He'll be cleared of federal charges
When he comes ♪

♪ He'll be cleared of federal charges
When he comes ♪

♪ He will come and turn the doc in
Then ol' Teddy, he'll go walkin' ♪

♪ He'll be cleared of federal charges
When he comes ♪

[beat boxing]

Well, sure,

but if you don't turn me in to the feds,

I can make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams in beard hair.

-Deal!
-No.

I mean, come on!

I helped you escape the law
with fake baby surgery.

Wait. When did I turn you into babies?

-I don't remember any of you.
-Uh, we used a different doctor!

[Pip] Second verse!

♪ They must unfreeze all his assets
When he comes ♪

♪ They must unfreeze all his assets
When he comes ♪

♪ All the homes will throw a bash and
All the cash he'll take a bath in ♪

♪ They must unfreeze all his assets
When he comes ♪

♪ When he comes ♪

Federal agents!

As per your offer,
I've brought you Dr. Thubbeirhd,

and I'll claim my freedom. Thanks.

Oh, man, thank you!

'Cause we were super stuck.

Zero good ideas.

Our performance to date
has embarrassed the Bureau

and the nation as a whole.

Shall we talk terms?

Oh, it's not me you're talking terms with.

You want the doc,
cut a deal with my ice-cold negotiator.

Brass tacks, Federales.

Dr. Thubbeirhd
for the all-clear on Teddy T.

And we'll throw in this fugitive embezzler
as goodwill.

Think you got me?

I'm slipperier than
a freshly waxed yacht dock.

-Let's crunch the deets.
-I wanna make a deal!

I can help you get
the other fake baby doctor.

Hilarious. You're the only quack
in that scummy pond.

-Are you sure?
-Yeah. We're the feds.

We got stupid good intelligence.

But that would mean
these are real talking babies!

-What did you do to him, you maniac?
-Me?

It's a setup! He just torpedoed
our only way of stopping Ba-Ba Town!

Not what happened.

Tim Templeton was never the god-daddy.

That part is correct!

The mastermind's always been Theodore!

Oh, yeah!

Stick them uppies, baby!

Into Ba-Ba Town!

Come on!

If you see Tina, have her call me!

[yells]

Let me in there!

We're all furious, agent, but we can't.

It's Ba-Ba Town.

[panting]

[grunting]

No! I do not accept this ending.

I was this close
to getting my old life back,

and I will figure out a way
to turn this around.

Oh, that would be amazing, bro-bro!

I don't even know if you remember this,

but I actually did the crime
they think you did.

So... yikes!

Yes, I remember!

And there is no us. You framed me!

And you tried to turn me in
for framing you.

I think all our hearts need healing.

Come on, put up the huggers.

[grumbles]

That was definitely voices.
You heard it, right?

The sound of my being replaced
as leader of a baby criminal empire

and demoted to trespasser roundup posse?

-Yes, I hear it constantly.
-[phone beeping]

[Jarreau] Whoa, now we got beeping?

Eyes up, the trespassers might be robots!

Kombuch-o'clock. Hook me up?

-What?! Just-- Shh!
-Kombuch, bro!

The meds Doc T gave us
to make sure the surgery sticks.

The special formula--?
Uh, does it come in a glowing bottle?

You know it does!

Come on, bestow B-dog beaucoup kombuch!

It's an emergen-- Whoa, no!

Over there!

[coughing]

[Bradley yelling]

Oh, dang, I'm nekko as a gecko!

Non-robotic trespasser!

-Snag him!
-[yelling]

Why are you smiling?

I told you I'd figure out
a way to turn this around.

Do you know where the Shrinkies store
the glowing bottles of Baby Corp kombuch?

[Dez] They're running formula resupply
out of Mayo City.

Perfect.

Every criminal needs special formula
every 48 hours, same as me.

Cut off the supply, they grow up.

That gives me something to bargain with.

-[Tabitha] Hello?
-Tabby-Tab!

Tell the feds
they don't need Dr. Thubbeirhd.

Give me 48 hours,

I'll turn these baby baddies
back into bustable adults.

All charges against me dropped,
work out the details.

48 hours. I'll get negotiating-- Hey!

Did you find her? Is my baby okay?

Tina, say hi to Mommy.

[in husky voice] Frosty justice
is my mommy now,

and she's already tucked me in

for vengeance.

She's fine, we'll have
her regular-baby retirement ready soon.

Hugs to the family!

Tabitha'll buy us time.
Let's storm that depot.

Dez, call in the Baby Corp troops.

Oh, we can't do that.

-You've got a monitor.
-Show him the ugly truth.

Okay, are you ever going
to explain the voice or--?

We ran simulations.

Trust me, we don't want Baby Corp babies
near Ba-Ba Town.

If the feds come,

they'll scoop up Baby Corpers
alongside the Shrinkies.

The fake baby criminals
would grow back up,

but, uh-oh, our people get revealed
as real talking babies.

Minds will snap!

Baby Corp will be exposed to the world!

[babbling]

Government scientists
will open a baby research facility.

We'll get blasted with rays

that make our brains get so big
they pop out,

and our eyes sh**t frogs
with electric tongues

to lash forth upon our oppressors.

That's why we're bringing in Baby Corp.
Call them now!

I assumed you had
an underground resistance here.

We do! It's just me,
my alternate identities, and Tina.

-And she's in a very dark place.
-[Tina] Backstabber!

I'll twist your hair into thumbtacks
and stick artwork to the wall with it!

You hear some
gravelly vengeance-type shouting?

Yeah, that is so weird.

Leave Aubrey to me!

I'll poke your back
with a pool cue covered in dog mess.

-Peek-a-boo!
-[laughing]

-No fair!
-[Boss Baby] Hey! Focus!

We've gotta find some way
to raid that formula depot.

The 48-hour negotiation
is already in motion!

For 48 hours? Um, what if we made it 24?

What if you keep your 24 hours
in the lunchbox your mommy packed you?

-Oh!
-Ooh!

-That's my girl!
-Burn!

Will you forget about your vendetta
and help me think?

Retribution never forgets.

The rest of you. Ideas?

We tried,
but the Shrinkies have all the advantages:

superior numbers, embedded position.

Granted. So, what do we got?

Brains popping out and electro-frog eyes
if we play this right.

I'll call in Baby Corp.

No. We can do this,
we have to think harder!

Look me in the eyes and beg me
to burp away the tummy gas.

No.

Tina? Making it really hard to--
Tina! Tina!

-Peek-a-boo!
-[laughs] Stop doing that!

[gasps]

The Shrinkies have a weakness!

They've turned themselves into babies!

With baby instincts
they don't realize they have.

But we do, and we can use that.

Still only five of us.

If we had a few more, but Baby Corp's out,

and nobody who's not a baby
can get inside Ba-Ba Town.

What about people
who used to be Baby Corp?

We talking about--?

Nobody says we can't use special formula
to get our own troops.

Find them, make them babies,
and bring them here ASAP.

Same for you two.
I want everyone on this list.

That goofball from the RV ads?

Especially that goofball.

-How we doing?
-Pretty close.

They've escalated to their top negotiator.

[yelling]

You wanna catch babies or cry like one?

The deal's still 48 hours.

Oh!

-Incredible!
-Did Uncle Teddy teach you that?

He helped, but mostly,
you guys just let me figure things out

and find what I love doing.
Best parents ever, thank you!

One more round!

I can take her!

I don't like it either,

but it's the only way we bust Ba-Ba Town
without looking like monsters.

-Mom?
-My Lil Bit, what up?

-Where's Tina?
-I don't know!

We were leaving, she was in the car seat.

I must have left her in Ba-Ba Town!

Yesterday?
How long did it take you to notice--?

I was distracted

burying my baseball hat ice cream bowls
in a landfill for safekeeping,

and I don't need your guilt!

We have to get Tina!

I'm sure her Uncle Teddy's
looking after her.

That criminal related to you
but not directly to my family?

A baby-napping in Ba-Ba Town.

Well, that changes things.

Presenting, back in baby form
for the first time in decades,

my mommy and daddy!

-Boss!
-Boss Man!

Jimbo! Staci!
Good to see you two back in the swaddle!

And that's not all.

We got all our bones shrinked!

[all] Yay!

-Triplets!
-[Boss Baby] Looking good!

I look forward to extracting
pitiless vengeance by your sides.

Uh, pardon me, I was promised
this would be a holy mission of peace?

Cram it, Father Buskie! I like her vibe!

Appreciate you coming,
Your, um, Sacred Blessedness?

-Scooter is fine.
-[vehicle accelerating]

I'm back as a baby, baby!

I still only travel by limo.

Sorry, not sorry,
for being a huge success.

Mega Fat RV Savings Man.

My Mega Fat Deals will put you
in your own rolling palace.

Don't forget to use
the discount code "SAVINGS!"

Bossy B, how you been?

Eh, framed for a few crimes.
Exiled to Canada.

Chased by a bear.

Wow, a bear!

I think he was a metaphor
representing the challenges

-I had to overcome before--
-He's an actual bear.

[roars]

[neighs]

Precious Templeton?
You've joined forces with Henri?

Why?

[whinnying]

[growling]

Oh, when you explain it,
it makes total sense.

Welcome to the team, Henri.

Now, let's go get
our Baby Corp formula back.

We got an attack bear?

Whoa!

Better, we got babies
who know how to be babies.

Those Shrinkie crooks are about
to play pat-a-cake with the professionals.

Charge!

Hey!

-Ow!
-[shouting]

I've never seen you three before.

Nor will you ever see us again.

What? They disappeared!
Are we being invaded by wizards?

Got your nose!

No, there's so much I haven't smelled!

-Give it back!
-I'll sell this for taffy money!

[crying]

I could take advantage
of your baby nature,

or maybe you could take advantage
of my sick discounts

on a fully reupholstered Road Pirate!

Crispy cracklins!
These RVs are practically free!

A getaway vehicle you can live in!

This feels dishonest and off-topic.

Save it for your Sunday sermon, choirboy.
Today is for dancing.

Goo-ga kai!

What?

Goo-ga kai!

[yells]

So sorry! Pray for my soul!

[all shouting]

-The sweetest sound is bedlam.
-Shall we?

What the hey-h*?!

Tina, no! Stick to the plan!

-Hello, Aubrey.
-Tina! I'm so happy to see you!

What? No! I'm a dark angel of--

Isn't this amazing?

You always told me I had great ideas,

but I never expected to run a whole empire
this early in my career!

You stole Baby Corp formula!

I sold Baby Corp formula!

Sorry I didn't tell,
I wanted to surprise you.

-Are you so thrilled?
-You cratered Baby Love!

That had me freaked,

but you kept telling me
to believe in myself.

Now that we have all this money,

I got a bazillion ideas
to pump up Baby Love!

One: tickle satellite--
Wait, what is going on over there?

[whinnying]

Is that a pony riding a bear?

If we follow them, they may lead us
to the rock bottom RV prices!

Guys! Come on!
This is clearly a distraction!

My adult brain realizes
that is probably true,

but my baby brain cannot help
making the counter-argument--

A horsey!

-Bear! A horsey!
-Ugh. I gotta take care of that.

Boss life, right?
But for super-real, thank you.

I never could've done this
without your support.

Come on, we're all clear.

Quite the formula stockpile!

-Be a shame if something were to--
-Destructo-party!

Yeah!

[shouts]

Ow!

Come on, boss, break some stuff!

Take your mind off Aubrey.

-You won!
-Doesn't feel like a win.

I messed things up with Mommy
so I could help babies like Aubrey,

and all I helped her do is become
a weirdly perky accidental supervillain.

-[Jimbo] Heh. Kids, right?
-Pardon?

You try to raise them the best you can,
but who can guess how they'll turn out?

Not everybody gets
as lucky as we did with Jimbo Junior.

[laughs]

Aw, Mom.

I hear you.

My son, Applebottom,
is always furious at me for who knows why.

Because you named him Applebottom?

Probably, now that I think about it.
But I love that surly dingus.

Way I see it,
that's when you really grow up.

The moment you realize
not everything is your story.

That sounded so wise.

I'm pretty sure
zero parts were relevant to me.

[Boss Baby] What?

You said you were close
to getting me 48 hours!

I was!

But then Yaya rebranded
the invasion as a baby rescue op!

For Tina Templeton!

[all] For Tina Templeton!

-Feds incoming!
-I have to use the can!

Tell me if the pony
does anything amazing, okay?

Trespassers in Mayonnaise City!

Barricade the door!

-Take my transport chupie.
-What?

You were their number one fugitive,
now they think you're a baby-napper!

You're in more danger than any of us.

-We can send you anywhere!
-No!

I'm not running anymore.
This is where I make my stand. Alone.

-No way.
-No.

You're in this mess because of me.

Don't make me responsible
for anything worse.

If you've got a transport chupie, use it.

Everyone else out the back door.

I'll keep the Shrinkies busy
till the feds bust us.

Go!

The orphans had a saying
when we dug wells for their village--

Ugh, we get it, you're better than us.
Just move it!

[shouts] I said I was doing this alone!

Staci and Jimbo
tried to give me life advice,

but I accidentally got yours.

You wanna know the secret of growing up?
Not everything is your story.

So let's see who else has ideas.

[upbeat rock music playing]

[yells]

The simulation implied
this would be more fun.

[banging]

[babies] Oh, no!

So, who wants to make a deal?

Yo, who's this crook?

-She's--
-She's my kombuch supplier.

Hi, Teddy Templeton,
Baby Fugitive Number One.

If you want more of the stuff
that lets us stay babies,

now you gotta pay her price.

-What do you want?
-Your crowd.

We need to create enough chaos
that at least most of us get away.

-The feds are already inside Ba-Ba Town.
-[baby] What?

I can't go to white collar prison!
They only let you out for golf once a day.

We have a deal.

-No way!
-Beautiful.

Oh, my gosh, you are so brilliant!
Now we can charge them twice as much!

-To Aubrey!
-[all] To Aubrey!

[gasps]

R&D Baby Simmons' idea.

Transport chupie bottles.

-You cheated me!
-I did.

By not giving you boundaries sooner.
I'm sorry, you're fired.

[man over speaker]
Welcome to Itty Bitty Cuties!

Where fired babies
learn how to be good babies...

with songs!

No!

I've rescued Tina Templeton

and rounded up your fugitives
in a secure location.

But it'll take 48 hours to get to them.

-You got proof?
-[baby] Hey, what happened?

-Manager!
-Manager!

[sniffing] Why does the air
smell like cheap prescriptions

and expensive gasoline?

We're in Canada!

Bug out!

Nobody's bugging anywhere
for the next 48 hours, mm-kay?

On behalf of the government,

and as a result of surprisingly
tough negotiations with this one,

I am obligated to apologize
for accusing you of embezzlement,

which that one just admitted to.

Bro, call me in five to ten!

We'll get some post-prison deep dish.

So, if my name's cleared,
do I have to do this roundup ride-a-long?

Depends. Would you also like us
to drop the charges for resisting arrest,

impersonating European royalty,
ill*gal border crossing,

destruction of
a federal interrogation facility,

and corrupting
Canada's fiercest fugitive tracker

into a pony-frolicking peacenik?

Yes, please.

Just give me a minute?

Thank you for--

I'm sorry, you know I love flattery,
but I don't need this to be my story.

Maybe we just do this for a bit?

I'll see you soon.

Guess we need a ride home.
Let's hotwire one of the feds' SUVs.

-Yes!
-Tim!

They owe us!

Nothing left but for me to retire
to non-stop stories and cuddles.

I am ready to be the regular baby
you've always wanted.

Oh, mi vida. I'm so sorry.

I never want anything
other than exactly who you are.

You retire when you're ready.

Thanks, Mommy.

I don't give up on people I believe in.

-So you came here to fix me?
-Nope.

Changing is your choice.
I'm choosing to be with you.

"Little Gorilla had never been
to this part of the jungle.

It was so exciting!

He wanted to run everywhere!

'Careful,' said Mama Gorilla,

'it's easy to lose your way
in the deep jungle.

But you can always know
where to find me.'"

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ Boss Baby ♪

-♪ Tell 'em who this is ♪
-♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm a legend, mythic ♪

♪ Y'all heard the story
But you know what the twist is? ♪

-♪ Welcome to the family business ♪
-♪ Boss Baby ♪