01x05 - Comic Shop CopyCat/Neigh, It Ain't So!

[bunniefuu]

Who's the improbable duo
that you heard about?

Faster than a scooter
Stronger than metal

Who's the little girl
and her domesticated rodent?

Who's still standing
when you see the dust settle?

It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster

Hamster and Gretel

If they can't do it then nobody can

Hamster, Hamster, Hamster

Hamster and Gretel

There's also Kevin in the minivan

What do you mean,
I have to do the dishes?

I did dishes last night.

Letting the dog lick scraps

is not doing the dishes.

Snow White does it.

She doesn't have a chore board.

Always follow the chore board.

Stay out of this!

I'm not always late.

You're always early.

That makes no sense.

Your face doesn't make any sense.

Hello, evil villain here.

Stay out of this!

I said I want a burger.

This is the burger place.

I want the burger from the taco place.

You're impossible.

Your face is impossible.

Just take me to jail already.

Stay out of this!

- My turn!
- Nuh-uh, my turn.

I don't like your tone.

- I don't like your face.
- Kids.

- I hate your hat.
- I'm not wearing one.

Hey, that's enough insulting hat talk

in this house, the both of you.

Maybe you two need a break
from each other.

I'm taking the remote.

Just settle this.

Okay, I'm older,
so that means I'm right. Settled.

- What?
- You need to do what I say.

I've got a lot on my plate,

being a big brother
and your superhero coach guy person.

Uh, newsflash!

I've got to, like,
save the world every afternoon,

and do homework.

Oh, and I'm not there helping

whenever you do that
every day, all the time?

Anyone can drive a minivan.

What? You know what? You're my nemesis.

Nemesis?

You've been my nemesis my whole life.

You're older than me.

How could I be your nemesis
before I was born?

Exactly. You're younger.

So you should listen to your elders.

Fine then. I'll listen to Mom.

Maybe she's right.
Maybe we do need a break.

- Fine. Great.
- Good. Peachy.

- Excellent. Wonderful.
- Fantastic. Fabulous.

- Awesome.
- Stupendous.

- Phenomenal.
- Outstanding.

- Spectacular.
- Marvelous.

- Amazing.
- Super.

I'm out of synonyms,
but we should take a break.

Yeah. Next time the city's in trouble,

I'll handle it by myself.

Alone.

With Hamster.

Yeah. Good. Good idea.

Sibling rivalry
is the only competition no one can win.

Oh, it's just my fortune cookie.

Probably doesn't apply to you guys.

Two supervillains terrorizing the docks.

- Gretel.
- We got this.

Enjoy your day off.

No. Yeah, I will.

It's fine. I just won't help this time,

and yeah, I'm super pumped.

Has anyone seen the remote?

I'm going to the mall
like a normal teenager.

How exhilarating to walk
through a large shop

filled with smaller shops.

Kids are a lot.

Mortals! I am The Destructress,
hashtag, theDestructress.

And you can
call me Fistpuncher.

I'm not calling you that.

It doesn't even make sense.

Are you punching a fist?

Whatever, I just want to punch stuff.

I can't believe we share DNA.

I hate sharing things.

Hey, evil fans. You may be asking,

why are we at the docks?

Who would ask that?

We're here because we're
wrecking this dock crane

so our debut will make a big splash.

Ha! Because water.

Thank you for taking the figurative
and making it literal.

I'm literally dying of embarrassment.

Big splash.

Love you, cuties.

Stay evil.

Lyle! You almost hit me.

Lyle!

Fistpuncher!
My name is Fistpuncher!

Hey, free boat.

We'll do a deep dive.

Oh, no, a boat!
We got to get out of here.

Hold on, everyone.
We've got a procedure for this.

Let's check the evacuation manual.

- Avalanche. Bear attack, bee attack.
- Can you hurry up?

Do you want to do this fast,
or do it right?

Oh, no, I lost my place.

Okay, let's start over.
Avalanche, bear attack.

- We're saved.
- Thanks to the manual.

Hi, my name is Gretel.
This is my hamster, Hamster.

And we'll be taking you to jail today.

Hamster and Gretel.

Oh, my gosh,
this will be the perfect collab.

- You're famous.
- We are?

Oh, my gosh, are you kidding?
When we defeat you,

your followers will become
our followers.

I don't make the rules.

And I punch them.

You punch the rules?

Yeah, like, if they're on a sign.

No fishing?

Ha!

I get to be a normal teenager.

Walking through a large shop
filled with smaller shops.

I love all these windows
filled with merchandise.

I'd much rather be here
than at the docks

making a difference.

Methinks the Kevin
doth protest too much.

There.

Shouldn't you have a babysitter?

Shouldn't you have a girder to the face?

Dude, it's so obvious

you don't want to be here.

What? There's no place
I'd rather be than

here with you at this

restaurant filled
with smaller restaurants.

Nothing I'd rather be doing.

Cough, cough.
I'm rolling my eyes at you,

and you're missing it.

I'm super good at it. Watch.

Roll...

How come nothing perforated hits you?

Come on, Lyle. Bases loaded.

It's time for a grand...

- Piano.
- No, not piano.

Slam. Grand slam.

Why would you think I was
about to say "piano"?

- I don't know.
- Just hit them.

You gonna eat that?

What?

You're being ridiculous. Just go.

No, no, no. She wanted a break.

She doesn't need my help.

- I'm just...
- You're just what?

I'm just the big brother.

Superhero coach, guy,
person or whatever.

- Who is it?
- It's Gretel.

Aren't you gonna pick it up?

If it's important,
she'll leave a message.

So what does she want?

You shush.

Hey, Gretel beans.
Your brother's being your brother.

You good?

Fred! I'm totally fine

and definitely handling this by myself.

But if you could tell Kevin

that maybe possibly, I'm trapped

under 200 tons
of shipyard junk with no way out,

that'd be cool. Thanks.

Two hundred tons?

But they can only lift
157 tons between them.

Gretel, I'm on my way!

Thanks. Please hurry, okay, bye.

Being right all the time
really does burn up a lot of calories.

Gretel!

Kevin. So how's...

Hey, you... You flying villains, you!

That's no way to treat
a little girl person hero,

you... You better...

We better what? You want some of this?

Fist Boy, take care of him.

I'm busy. Why don't you do it?

Because I'm older.

You're only older by three minutes.

In three minutes,
you'll understand.

- 'Cause I'm the smart one.
- So? I'm the stronger one.

I can lift anything you can lift.

I'm stronger and smarter.

No, you're not.

I am all of the things.

Oh, I'm sorry, I've heard of you guys.
You're, uh...

Fistpuncher.

Right, Fistpuncher. And, uh...

The Destructress.

Right. Destructress.

- The Destructress.
- Of course.

Yeah. I heard you guys
are just so cool and famous.

Wait. Seriously. You heard of us?

Yeah, people online are arguing about

which one of you is stronger.

- I am.
- In your dreams.

What are you doing?

Playing them against each other.

Just follow my lead.

A wise rodent once said,

"Sibling rivalry is the only competition
no one can win."

Unless there's a contest.

Oh, I love contests.

I'm in.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to

"How Much Can You Lift?"

If you irritate your sibling

'Cause you both are so competitive

If the bickering and quibbling

Is just getting too repetitive

You can't wait any longer

You got to know which one is stronger

Just play "How Much Can You Lift"?

If you want to find a winner
How much can you lift?

And still be home in time for dinner

How much can you lift?

If you want to prove
that you're superior

How much can you lift?

And in the process
kick a little posterior

How much can you lift?

The Destructress,
can you lift that girder up there?

No way. That's too heavy.

Ugh!

Oh, no, a girder!

It's okay, we have the manual.

Great, now we'll never know
what we're supposed to do.

Point, The Destructress.

Big deal.

And now, our next contestant. Audience.

I bet ya Fistpuncher
can't lift that tugboat.

I don't know, folks. Looks pretty big.

No problem.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can lift this yacht.

I can lift this barge.

You lost, losing loser.

- I'm faster and stronger.
- I'm faster and stronger plus one.

I'm faster and stronger
times infinity divided by two.

So, who's the winner, kid?

It looks like this game is over.

- So it's time for a grand...
- Piano.

Well, I was going to say grand finale,
but that works too.

Where'd you get the pianos?

Cargo ship. They also had a harp.

Hmm. I had no idea he played.

Oh, no. This pile is 200 tons

and we can only lift
156 tons between us.

Hey, we can lift 157.

We're stronger.

Hey, Lauren, I don't think
that was a real contest.

Can someone take a photo of us, please?

Something I can post later?

We have rights, you know.

I'm glad we don't treat
each other like that.

Yeah, yeah. No way. Never.

So, uh, thanks for your help today.

The mall was super boring. So...

Yeah, I mean, all those smaller shops

inside of a bigger shop.

Right? You and Hamster
had it under control.

Dude, you know
we can only lift 157 tons.

Sometimes we need
a superhero coach, guy, person.

I'm going to put that on
my business cards.

- How about some tunes?
- I get to pick.

- I'm driving.
- What if I pick up the van?

- Do I get to pick then?
- Kids are a lot.

Oh, it's just my fortune cookie.

Probably doesn't apply to you guys.