01x25 - No Sprain, No Gain/Finding Professor EX

[bunniefuu]

(NARRATOR READING)

Arthur has fallen
down a 50-foot cliff...
(SCREAMING)

...into a 50-foot hole filled
with 50 foot-biting pythons.

Can he make his way out
using only a spatula
and a hard-boiled egg?

(GROANS)
Hey, what's the matter,
Gretel beans?

I feel bad
for Nordle.

Because of me,
his dad is missing.

Gretel,
Professor Exclamation
is evil.

You did the
right thing. Okay?

I know, but
Nordle's all alone.

I'm going over
to his house
to see if he's okay.

Don't you wanna see
the end of the show?

I've seen this.
The snakes win.

Hey, no spoilers!

(SIGHS) Look at us,
sitting here

with our cell phones
and cheese curls.

We should
all be like Arthur,

fighting snakes with just
a spatula and an egg.

Oh, please. You wouldn't

last a second
without your phone.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

What up, girl?

No way. That's fire.

Send me pics.

Wrong number.

I say we have
a contest.

Whoever can go the longest
without electronics wins.

Oh, you're on. (SCOFFS)
This should be quick.

Count me in.

All right.
Phones in the basket.

No electricity,
starting... now!

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

Wait. Can we
start again after
I look at those pics?

(SIGHS)

I know you
miss your father.

I will change
to nurturing mode.

Here is a scarf
I knitted.

I don't want
your stupid scarf.

I want Father,
who never
made me anything.

But I still
miss him.

Hey, Tobor.

Hey, Nordle.

Still haven't heard
from your dad, huh?

No. Father is gone,

and these eggs Benedict
are terrible.

Did you even taste
this hollandaise sauce?

I have no taste buds.

Father had taste buds.

I feel awful.

This is all
my fault.

You had no choice.

Father was about to
erase your memory.

There, there.

I know what you need.

A nice sweater.

Well, I think there's
only one thing to do.

We have to
find your dad.

How?

Let's look
around the house.

Maybe we can
find some clues.

It's nice to have
someone who cares.

I guess I'm
wearing this, too.

This is the room
that Father got
flung out of. (SHUDDERS)

Is it hard for you
to be in here?

No. I'm just remembering

how awful Tobor's
egg Benedict were.

I'm, like,
right here.

Perhaps if
we could find

the anti-superhero
defense system,

we could figure out
where it sent Father.

I will check for
secret panels.
(WHIRRING)

Tobor! No!

That's Father's
favorite table!

Stop! Stop!

I found something.

(GASPS) Father's hat.

It must have fallen off
when he got

flung out of the room.

Father never
goes anywhere
without his hat.

He'd try to
replace it immediately.

But where?
Where would he go?

That might be
a good place to start.

NORDLE: "Martina's
Punctuation-Themed Hats."

Wow, specific.

And I just finished
my first novel.

It's about a young
woman alienated

during the
Industrial Revolution,

and vampires.

Who knew you'd
have so much time

when you don't
look at your phone?

I know! I measured
the diameter of Earth

using this pendulum
and a plate of mustard.

I've been meditating
on the cosmos for three hours.

I think I've almost
reached enlightenment.

Huh. It's not
what I expected.

(DOOR BELL DINGING)

TOBOR: It looks
drafty in there.

I think you should
wear this.

Enough with
the sweaters, Tobor.

Actually, it was
a gender-neutral shawl.

MARTINA: Well, now,
you folks look like

you wanna buy some
punctuation-themed hats.

How about this one?

Makes a lot of sense.

(CHUCKLES)
Get it? "Cents."

(LAUGHS)
Actually,
we have a question.

Well, so do I. (LAUGHS)

Have you ever
seen this hat?

Oh! I... (SPUTTERS)

I can't discuss another
customer's headwear.

It's hat maker-client
privilege.

Look, hat lady,

we can do this
the easy way

or the hard way.

BOTH: Tobor, no!

What? I was just going
to make her some eggs

over-easy
or over-hard.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
I do love eggs.

Sure, I'll tell you everything.

Over-easy, please-y.

Okay, it looks like
someone ordered

a replacement
for that hat
a few days ago.

It must be Father.

The hat was shipped
to the old abandoned

creepy doll factory
on the edge of town.

That may be
where your dad is.

We have to check it out.

Hey, now.
You know what
always helps me

when I go
on a journey?

Yeah, we're not buying
any punctuation-themed hats.

Wow, that is
one good saleswoman.

You shouldn't
go in there on
an empty stomach.

Have a little...
Tobor, you're not my father.

My father's in there.

Come on, Gretel.

Don't make me turn
this car around.

We're not in a car!

(RUMBLING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Nordle, are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine.

My loafers, however...

(ALL SCREAM)

Ooh, it's
some kind of riddle.

Of course!
It's from Father.

He always said
if he disappeared,

he'd use riddles
to test me.

A lot to
unpack there.

Okay. "I am needy,
incredibly annoying

"and make no
contribution to society.

"What am I?"
Oh, oh, it's a child!

Ah, Father hates children.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
That's right, sunshine.

Now, watch your head.

(CLANGING)

(THUDS)

Father likes
booby traps.

Ah, I love that about him.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ You better watch your step

♪ 'Cause the danger
lurks ahead

♪ With those plastic eyes

♪ Waiting in ambush
around the bend

♪ With a jump scare
Takes you out

♪ Makes you wanna scream
and shout

♪ Shattering your nerves
like glass

♪ But you won't hear them

♪ As you pass
these silent halls
of creepy dolls

♪ Their broken faces
line the walls

♪ Everything you've ever known

♪ Will trap you here
Don't come alone

♪ Creepy doll factory

♪ Abandoned for
half a century

♪ With plastic and wood
in every room

♪ And booby traps
to seal your doom

♪ Creepy doll factory

♪ If you're in pain
or agony

♪ They will not
show you sympathy

♪ They'll just keep smiling
and staring at you

♪ At you ♪

(NORDLE SCREAMING)

Okay, guys.
This is it.

One, two...

Why is it
so dark in here?

(HISSES)

Mom, we were about
to solve cold fusion.

Later. My telenovela
is about to start.

(WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON TV)

Moving pictures.

And sound.

Weren't we about to do
something important?

Who cares?

(WHIRRING)

(GASPS) Look!

I'm sure Father's
on the other side
of that door.

You should go.
In case, you know,

he still wants
to erase your mind.

Nordle, I said I'm gonna

help you find your dad.

I'm gonna see it
through to the end.

It's so nice to have
someone who cares.

I just carried you
like a camel.

Ah, the final riddle.

"Just look around.
It's easy to see.

"These are the people
who are dumber than we."

The answer is, everyone.

Everyone is dumber
than Father and me.

(BEEPS)
I'm coming, Father!

Nordle! Nordle, be careful.

Father!

(CLICKS)

Father?

(SCREAMS)

Another riddle.

"Put the hat
on my head."

What could that mean?

Maybe it means put
that hat on his head?

A little obvious,
but I'll try it.

Nordle, son.
If you are listening
to this mannequin,

it means that
you found my hat.

You passed all of my tests.

And now I will reveal
where I am hiding,

and the details
of my ultimate plan

to destroy
Hamster and Gretel.

(GASPS)
But first, one more question.

Your last riddle is,
what is your birthday?

Oh, that's easy.

May ninth and...

Wait, your father could never
remember your birthday.

He always said
it was 01-01-01,

because that
was easy to remember.

Oh, no! You're right.
Wait, wait, wait.

Cancel! Cancel!

Incorrect.

(ALARM BEEPING)
You will be destroyed.

Have a nice day.

(ALARM BLARING)

Aah!
TOBOR: Get down.

(TOBOR GROANING)

That's gonna leave a mark.

(TOBOR GROANING)

Nordle!

TOBOR: (DISTORTED) So...

Tobor, no!

(POWERING DOWN)
You will always be my boy.

I'm so sorry, Tobor.

All this time,
I've been looking
for my father.

But the one who
really cared about me

was right here,

and now it's too late.

(SOBBING)

You are getting
tears in my servos.

(GASPS) Tobor, you're okay?

I repaired myself
while you were making

that embarrassing display
of human emotion.

You sound
just like my father.

Only nicer.

Hey, guys, the lasers,
uh, self-destructed.

Come on, Tobor.

Get up and carry me
out of this hole.

Only if you wear a sweater.

Ugh. All right.

Ugh. Ugh. This sweater
is really itchy.

It's one of the most
uncomfortable sweaters

I've ever... I mean,
thank you, Tobor.

TOBOR:
You are welcome, son.

NORDLE: Is there
egg on this?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Hamster and Gretel

♪ It's Hamster

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪