03x08 - Puppy Party

[bunniefuu]

- [boy grunts]
- [phone dings]

Hold all my calls.

- [giggling]
- [lullaby plays]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

♪ Change my diaper, son
Where's my bib? ♪

♪ Don't pacify
You just got to pay me ♪

- ♪ Who's in charge? ♪
- ♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

You turned down the job?

Sorry, Stace.

- I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.
- [elevator bell dings]

[audio running backward]

...down the job?

Sorry, Stace.

- I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.
- [elevator bell dings]

[Bosses] Sorry, Stace.

- [Staci gasps]
- I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.

[Boss] Sorry, Stace.

- I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.
- [shrieks]

- [Boss echoing] Sorry, Stace.
- [screaming]

Sorry, Stace.
I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.

[shouts]

Well, Staci?

[gasps]

Boss Baby's old job,
VP of Field Operations,

you want it or not?

Wait, why are you the one asking?

They fired Hermano Menor CEO Baby?

Promoted him, actually,
to the board of directors.

It's inspiring what you can accomplish
with a little effort

and a brother who's already on the board.

Anyhoo, they asked me
to find his replacement,

and after an exhaustive search,
bing bang boom, I found myself.

Buddy from HR CEO Baby.

[Peg groans] Stop moving!

You want a portrait or a flip-book?

So, VP of Field Operations...
you'll take the job?

[echoing] Sorry, Stace.
I've got Bubbigger fish to fry.

I'll borrow it.

Wha...?

And that's the face you're stuck with.

Maybe next time, respect the artist?

Oh, I deserve the promotion.

Heck, one day I'll be running this company

and wreaking unspeakable vengeance
on all who have crossed me.

But not like this.

That job should still be Boss Baby's.

Uh, we tried.

He turned it down.

Only because he's obviously
still messed up in the head

from getting fired for no good,
stupid reason in the first place.

I'll run the field team,
but our first mission is an intervention.

We're gonna fix whatever's wrong
in Boss Baby's head

and bring him back
to the company he loves.

You're hired. Go get him.

Thank you, sir.

Just as soon as you've filled out
your start forms.

Guh!

I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork.
[chuckles]

Congratulations on your promotion!

Feel the energy flow through you,
like a prune from mouth to diaper.

Look alive, babies!
We've got a new mission.

Ni hao, Boss Baby, yang to my yin,
my opposite, yet my whole.

- Short day at the office?
- I turned down the job.

You see, class?

Fulfillment does not come
from within the walls of a cubicle.

I find cubicles very fulfilling.

Then I guess you just missed
the two of us finishing

each other's sen...

Ugh!

Then whaaat?

There's a threat out there
that Baby Corp is too blind to see.

So, from here on out,
my journey is our journey.

Yes!

To crush the Bubbeezee Corporation.

You got a cray-cray mouth
in your face, Bossy B. What?

My mommy lady loves Bubbeezee,
possibly even more than me,

though I would prefer not to test
that theory, ever, please and thank you.

- Check, please!
- But do you love Bubbeezee?

Do any of you?

[babies babble]

Our parents love it.

And a good baby always...

Forget being a good baby.

Sometimes we need to do
what's good for babies.

Who's in?

- [babbles]
- Good man.

[babbling]

I'm sure we'll find something
for you to break.

[shouting]

- Puppies?
- [puppies barking]

- [babies squeal]
- G'oh!

Oh, no.

[puppies barking]

Puppy party!

- [giggling]
- [barks]

- [barking]
- [giggling]

What a fun idea!

- Wasn't this pricey?
- Fake birthday.

I got a 30-percent discount.

Stay calm. Remember your training.

Threat analysis.
Which puppy is the most likely to...

- Ah!
- [Summer] Uh-oh!

Someone's got the buttershies
in his tummy!

Let's make you
an extra magical puppy friend!

[yelps]

Aw, isn't he the nicest little pug?

There you go.

See? Best friends.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

No tails in the mouth!

Look at my guy and that pug.

So cute!

Don't make any false moves, Bug the Pug.

They're all watching.

[growls]

What's Puppy Co's greatest assassin
doing at a party for babies?

[whimpering]

What do you mean
"former" greatest assa... Wait!

Did you actually get fired
after your run-in with my team?

[Bug whimpers]

And now you work puppy parties,
doing tricks for babies.

Oh, how the bitey have fallen.

- [barks]
- Who are you calling a hypocrite?

- [barks]
- One, this is no longer a playgroup.

- I've honed them into an unstoppable team.
- [giggling]

Most days.

And, two, I chose to be here.

I had a plan to pull off a big mission,
leave Baby Corp begging to have me back,

and it worked!

I turned them down for my own reasons,
but the point is...

- Why the unsettling smile?
- [snarls, barks]

Same plan, oh?

Win your job back with a major operation
to take down Puppy Co's most hated enemy?

- [barks]
- [Buskie giggling]

- [dogs growling]
- [babies gasp]

Oh, right. Me.

- Well, that makes sense.
- [babies giggling]

Snuggle time's over!
These puppies have come for retribution.

[babbling]

This isn't about you.

This is about a w*r you didn't know
you were born into.

[puppies growling]

Let's show these puppies what...

- [Buskie shrieking]
- Buskie, wait!

[grunting]

Still not worried. Charge!

[all barking]

[Staci sighs]

"If you do not wish to claim a dependent,
please return Form J-8 to the requestor."

- Why would a baby have a dependent?
- [monitor chiming]

Ugh! Please be something
deadly and time-consuming.

Jimbo, monitor!

I can't!
My cookie wrist is flaring up again.

Did you just make that up?

Cookie wrist is a real problem
that affects one in ten babies

who eat cookies
three out of three meals a day.

- [groans]
- [scoffs]

- Made up.
- Is not!

- [monitor chirps]
- Staci, I need a favor!

Who's running the field team these days?

Um, me?

Oh.

Glad Baby Corp
still gets a couple things right.

- I'm proud of you.
- [Staci] Uh, thanks!

I actually needed to talk to you about...

Can it wait? I've got a situation.

- [barking]
- [baby shouts]

- [growling]
- [babies crying]

- [growls] Puppies!
- [puppies barking]

- [gasps] And is that...
- Bug the Pug!

[panting, growls]

How come your mommies and daddies
aren't stopping this?

Bug deployed
a parental distraction expert.

- [Janice] Ooh!
- [Marsha] Wow, look at that!

[Mayor] Whoa, look at that!

Puppy, I didn't know you knew
traditional Bavarian folk dance!

It's a convoluted story,
but the less convoluted moral is help me!

[shouts]

Taking this to the top right now!

Bug the Pug?

Forget filling out your start paperwork.

This is now a priority rush mission!

Sir, you don't know how refreshing it is
to have a CEO who gets it.

Run off six copies
of the priority rush mission paperwork.

Guh?

"Emergency contact number."

"Emergency contact telegraph"?

[screams] Yeh!

[growls]

You gonna give me a hand on this?

I would if I could,
but Buddy said I can't.

[whimpering] Here.

"Due to acute cookie wrist..."?

Buddy bought that coo-coo hooey?

[gasps] Wait!

That's how I get out of paperwork!

[laughs] With hooey!

It's not hooey!

[straining]

Got an idea, BB.

I'll be there
in the flick of a cookie wrist.

That's confusing, but thank you.

We're already... Ah!

- [babies shouting]
- [puppies growling, barking]

- [growling, barking]
- [shouting, gasps]

- [babies shouting]
- [barking]

- [barking]
- [screams]

[Mega Fat] Hello, puppy friend.

- You seem angry.
- [growls, whimpers]

Tell me your emotions,
I'll tell you mine.

We'll take the journey
to wholeness together.

Mega Fat, what are you doing?

Fighting this puppy
by challenging its preconceptions about...

- [Mega Fat grunts]
- This is a dog fight!

They understand alpha dominance,
not emotional nuance!

- [grunting]
- [puppies barking]

- [growling]
- But I'm a, oof, good baby now.

You know how I said sometimes you've gotta
forget about being a good baby?

This is one of those times! [grunts]

But that's not me anymore! [grunts]

I left the old... naughtiness behind!

- [barks]
- How about a pinch of mischievousness?

Just to even the playing field.

A skosh of shenanigans?

- [barks]
- Yah! [grunts]

A thimble of disobedience.

Are you sure it's okay? [gasps]

[Marsha] Wowie!

He's also mastered the ancient mysteries
of the belly dance!

Even my baby could learn a thing or two
from this frisky Fido.

Oh, you are not stealing the affections
of my mommy lady.

We are doing this naughty,
bad boy style right now!

- [whimpers]
- [barking]

- [whimpers]
- Olé!

That's Spanish for
"you're embarrassing yourself," yes.

[snarling]

- Ooh, wait. That's your tail?
- [whimpers]

I know puppies don't have
opposable thumbs,

but I didn't know you just put them
on your butt-butts.

[whimpering]

Ha ha! There's the Mega Fat
who made my life unbearably miserable.

I... I'm doing good?

Oh, yes! Ha ha!

Since when are you a "No-paperwork-ist,"
and since... What is that?

No-paperwork-ism is a movement
that values human interaction

over forms, memos, or anything else
that could be deemed "printer speak."

Uh, sir, I need you to sign this.

[screaming] Ew! Aah!

I guess that checks out.

Glad you understand,

and thank you for excusing me
from all paperwork for life.

Bye!

Grab your chupie.

[Staci] Let's rough up some pups.

We heard about No-paperwork-ism.

Wow! She's so committed!

Teach us your ways!

Ha! Good one, guys.

- No-paperwork-ism isn't real...
- Hmmmm?

...ly easy.

You have to fully commit to the cause!

So, you will teach us?

Yes?

[lively music playing]

[sighs] I've always loved the ballet.

- [puppies snarling, yelping]
- [Mega Fat shouting gibberish]

- [shouting continues]
- [puppies yelping]

Goo ga kai!

[grunts, panting]

Tide's turned, Bug the Pug.

Unless you've got something
that can compete with that.

[Mega Fat shouting gibberish]

[snarling]

Oh, you actually do.

Ohhh!

Is... Is that the Collar of Shame?

Puppykind's greatest weapon.

Some say the collar was forged
deep in the fiery heart

of Mount Doggy Diggety Bone.

Some say it was left behind
by an alien species

known for being
another species' best friend.

But while its origin is unclear,
its power is not.

[puppy panting]

- Off my horse, puppy.
- [yelps]

I've got a rebellion to crush.

- [barks]
- Oh!

[Boss] Anyone who wears
the Collar of Shame

quickly finds their lives
and legacies destroyed.

General Washington,
I shamefully surrender.

You win America.

- [soldiers] Hooray!
- [Boss] General Cornwallis, 1781.

Napoleon at Waterloo.

That physicist who solved the equation
for faster-than-light travel,

but forgot to feed his dog.

- What physicist?
- Exactly!

One of us is ending this duel
with that collar on his neck,

a ruined future, and a lifetime of shame.

[growls]

No, you're gonna be wearing it.

Final showdown.

Call off your dogs,
and I'll call off my babies.

This was always going to come down
to you and me, Pug.

[snarling]

As a recently reawakened naughty boy,
I feel obligated to say,

"Yes, fight! Do it!"

Uh, not here.

Can't have the parents witnessing
these fireworks.

Behind those trees?

- [grunts]
- Mega Fat, you're in charge.

Hold the cease-fire until I return
with a humiliated, collar-wearing pug.

So, like, 15 seconds.

You can count on me...

to not listen to you because I'm naughty
again and rules are lame! Wah!

The movement is growing!

What movement?

Oh, right!

[chuckles] No-paperwork-ism.

Boo, paperwork.

You're doing great. Gotta go!

- Don't you want to address everyone?
- About what?

The No-paperwork-ist manifesto!

What do we believe in?

Uh, the manifesto is...

no... paperwork?

- [all cheering]
- Great manifesto!

Cool. Jimbo and I gotta run, but...

[babies chanting] Hip hip no paperwork!

Hip hip no paperwork!

- Hip hip no paperwork!
- No, no!

Why have you abandoned us, staples?

[Pug snarling]

I'm ready when you are.

[Boss grunting, shouting]

- [yelps]
- Yah! Oh!

[Boss grunting]

- Aah! [grunting]
- [snarling]

[man over radio] Four-one-one
in progress on South Kazoo.

Someone needs information!

- [tires squealing]
- [siren wailing]

[Pug yelps]

[snarls]

Ha ha! Oh!

[grunting]

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

[grunting]

- [grunting continues]
- [snarling]

[Pug wails]

Yah! [grunts]

[both coughing]

[giggling]

- Oh, adorable!
- Oh, aren't y'all precious?

[all chanting] No paperwork!
No paperwork!

Reasonable amounts of paperwork
for a busy company!

Reasonable amounts of paperwork
for a busy company!

Just fess up and do the paperwork.

You have to end this made-up revolution
so we can help the boss.

[gasps] You're right!

Yo, Hendershot, toss me that bottle!

What are you doing?

Ending this made-up revolution...

by winning it.

No-paperwork-ists forever!

It's all soaked!

You monsters!

- Yah!
- [babies shouting]

[Hendershot growls]

[both shout]

- [babbling]
- [grunting]

[both snoring]

[grunting]

Oh! Whoa!

[grunts] Ow!

- [Pug snarling]
- [gasps]

Yah!

My Italian silk!

[bangs]

[Pug yelps]

[whimpering, gasps]

Yah! Yah!

[Boss grunting, shouts] Oof!

[both panting]

[strains, groans]

[sighs] You seem tired.

What are your thoughts on a... [coughing]

snack-time break in hostilities?

[snarling]

- [squeals]
- No, no, no, no, no, I don't need one.

Just saying you're not
what you used to be, so if you want one...

[coughing]

- [bones crack]
- [screams]

[both groan]

[babbling, sniffles]

What's with the hide-and-seek?

[babbles]

Under attack? From who, the puppies?

- We had a cease-fire deal.
- [barking]

[babbling]

- What about Mega Fat?
- [babbling]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How naughty are we talking?

[cries]

[Mega Fat laughing]

Yes! Serve me! Fetch me treats!

Chomp and slobber on all who oppose me,
for I am your pack leader!

[laughs] Alpha dominance!

[munching]

I can't help but feel, like, seven
or eight percent responsible for this.

And I'm gonna end it.

- Hey! I said I was gonna end it!
- [growling]

You're a washed-up has-been
who lost his own team.

Now, give me! [groaning]

[gasping]

Son of a Bichon Frise, he did it!

Oh, no! The Collar of Shame.

I guess that means I'm done being naughty?

[inhales, straining]

Yah!

Silly puppy!

You can't shame the shameless.

[puppies growling]

You liberated me, Boss Baby.

I should say "thank you,"

but naughty babies don't use
polite words,

so... [blows raspberry] to you.

But you like being good!

- [puppies whimpering]
- Do I? Being good is so tiring.

And you know why?

Because goodness
is not baby's true essence.

Naughtiness is as natural
as the air we breathe,

as the toots our tushies toot.

I choose nature.

I choose naughtiness!

Sic 'em!

[puppies growling]

[puppies barking]

Final offer: you do half your paperwork,
we'll forget about the other half.

- Mmm...
- [babies whispering]

[giggles] Counteroffer:
we keep all the paperwork

and just outsource it to Buddy from HR.

- Deal!
- What?

[babies chanting] Hip hip no paperwork!

- Hip hip no paperwork!
- [groans]

It's with a heavy heart that I announce
my resignation as CEO

so I can focus my efforts on paperwork.

Love you guys!

[chatter]

[Staci] Let's go help BB.

[sniffing]

Yes, butt scoot for my amusement! [laughs]

[munches] Oh!

- [barks]
- Yeah, I'm out of options, too.

I guess neither one of us
is what we used to be.

[Pug grunts]

Did you just have the same idea I did?

[panting, grunting]

What? No!

Why would we try to lick off
our own stitches?

You're disgusting.

Huh?

We're not what we used to be.

I don't work for Baby Corp,
you don't work for Puppy Co.

So, why keep doing things their way?

Mega Fat's not playing by the rules.

Let's break a few ourselves.

We work together!

[grunts]

- [lively music playing]
- [Doug] And the flamenco?

Is there any dance this pupper
doesn't know?

All clear on the plan?

[barks]

- Woof woof! I'm exposed!
- [puppies barking]

- [groaning] Playing dead.
- [puppies whimper]

- Now!
- [barking, howls]

- [barking]
- What is it now?

The Collar of Who Cares?

Forged in Mount...

[yawns, gasps]

- [barking, growling]
- Now, stop that!

Hey, I said stop!

Oh, you're so annoying.

Hey, you think I won't backslap
a puppy dog?

I'll do it, man. I'm a bad boy.

You just keep pushing and find out!

Do you not hear me warning you?

Oh, snap, there goes my self-control!

[screaming]

[Boss crying]

You asked for this! Hoo-cha!

[Marsha gasps] Baby, no!

Wha...? Oh, what?

- Who headbutts a puppy? [gasps]
- [Pug whimpering]

Mommy lady...

What have I done?

[Marsha] I don't know
why my baby did that.

I'm so... disappointed!

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have pushed you.

I was already falling.

Maybe it's time we close
the chapter on this party.

[parents chattering]

- [growls]
- I'll be all right.

I just hope he is.

So... we fighting again, or...?

[snarling]

Anytime, anyplace.

- But until then...
- [chupie zaps]

[panting] BB, we're finally here!

[loud gasp]

Uh, Staci! Let me explain! [yelps]

[Janice] Oh, I know you love the puppy,
but that's enough fun for one day.

First, he's anti-Bubbeezee.
Now he's working with puppies?

He's lost it, man.

Cancel the intervention.

This just became an operation.

We have to stop Boss Baby.

[gasping]

Hey, my cookie wrist is better!

[munching, giggling]

I don't know what's gonna happen
to Mega Fat

and I don't know what's gonna happen
with Staci and Jimbo,

but I do know it's time
to throw out the old rule book.

I'm done playing defense.

We're going after Bubbeezee,
and we're going right to the top!

So, the only question
we should be asking is,

"Who's in charge of Bubbeezee?"

- [babbling]
- Also a good question.

It's the weekend.
What has Tim been doing all day?

I met a hippo!

[theme music playing]

♪ Boss Baby ♪