02x09 - Run, Fueled by Impatience

[bunniefuu]

[FEMALE NARRATOR]
In today's world,

fully-immersive virtual
reality experiences

dominate the gaming landscape,

giving the players
a new way to play.

Now, they can finally
become denizens

of their favorite
fictional worlds.

In a market over-saturated
with VR games

only one boasts

more than thirty-million
players world-wide.

It's considered the definitive
triple-A experience.

A place for true pioneers.

Shangri-La Frontier!

♪

RUN, FUELED BY IMPATIENCE

[RAKURO] Huh?
There's what?

Another player,

p-pioneer made it
to the Rabituzan Palace?

Indeed!

A human lass,

and she's quite a respectable
one at that.

Recognized by Siegwurm,
the Golden Dragon King!

It's what my big bro
Ceecrue said,

and he's trustworthy!

[RAKURO] Siegwurm.

That's a unique monster, right?

And, yet another one of your
siblings has entered the fray.

I'm not the only
one who lucked into

this insane process, eh?

Triggering the
"Invitation from Rabituza"

unique scenario
was no small feat.

It involved rare
vorpal choppers,

and who knows what else!

And that means...

[EMUL] Huh?

[RAKURO] There's a pretty darn
good chance

this "pioneer" is gonna trigger
the bonus unique scenario

"Vorpal Epic" and then
your favorite bird-bud

loses his monopoly
on the deets, just like that!

Aww, crap!
This is real bad, Emul!

Like super-duper
not good, okay?

Your spirit
is as potent as ever!

I couldn't be happier,
my friend!

[RAKURO] The only reason
I had such a huge advantage

is because nobody else knew
about this place!

If the whole internet
gets the skinny

on how to start this questline,
it's game over.

Wolfgang loses its edge.

No, much worse.
I'm gonna lose my edge!

[EMUL] Huh?

[RAKURO] I'm already dealing
with my least favorite

ticking time-b*mb, SF-Zoo.

If they find out about
the Bonus Unique Scenario

in Rabituza, Schwarz Vulf
will lock-in,

and then the nutty professor
and his library of g*ons

will be hounding me forever!

Should I talk to Pencilgon
about it?

No, I won't have enough time.

I've gotta be in Fifticia

by 8 a.m. tomorrow morning
for my meeting.

Rust and Mold have
some juicy info

that could help me
hold onto my edge.

It's too risky.

If I flake out on them,
I'm a roasted duck.

- [Rakuro gasps]
- [EMUL] Huh?

Sunraku?

[RAKURO] I'm getting pulled in
too many directions, here!

Emul, do you remember
that player,

I mean that stupid
pioneer's name?

[gibberish]

[RAKURO] Huh, come again?

Ahiooane.

[RAKURO] Huh?

[whimpers]

Let's see.

Indeed! Of the truest might
and mettle!

I had a mind to introduce her
to our daddy

if possible, but, ah,
you'll have to do!

- Come here, lass!
- Huh?

Over here, meet my sister Emul!

[AKANE] Oh, right!
I would love to!

Well, hello Emul!
Nice to meet you!

I'm Akitsuakane!

See, that's what I just said!

[RAKURO] Akitsuakane.

I've met a lot of people,
but never one of those.

Figures, though.

SLF has a whopping
thirty million plus players

and counting,

unlike BERP and its few
thousand die-hards.

Trying to remember one
username out of all the people

I've encountered
is like searching

for a digital needle
in a haystack.

But if I act now,
it might not be too late.

[EMUL] It might not be
too late for what?

[RAKURO] I'd like to talk
to this Akitsuakane lady.

You know if she's still
somewhere in the palace?

Not until dad...

I mean, she said she'll be
asleep until the boss returns!

[RAKURO] She's logged out
right now, huh?

What about your bro Ceecrue
who brought her here?

He tends to disappear on me
just as fast as he arrives,

so I couldn't rightly say!

[Rakuro grunts]

[RAKURO]
They're not making this easy.

Nah, calm down.

This is just RNG,
plain and simple.

But will the random numbers
cooperate

and help me find Akitsuakane

before she reveals
our little secret to the world?

RNG

[Emul gasps]

[RAKURO] I'm doomed!

The RNG Goddess
always screws me.

Who is this RNG?

[RAKURO] The queen
who governs the world.

Huh?

[RAKURO] Anyway,
there's one thing

I should be focusing on

and that's making
my way to Fifticia.

First, we go from
the Ruins of Past Glories

to Eleventar,

then pass through
the Lightless Barrens

until you reach the coast
and smash into Fifticia.

Pretty long trip, huh?

Can I even make it there
by 8 a.m. tomorrow?

The dynamic duo,
back on the road again!

[RAKURO] Oh, sorry Emul,
but you gotta stay here bud.

Wha-wha-wha?

Explain yourself!

You can't abandon me
without abandon!

[Rakuro chuckles]

[RAKURO] It's because
I've been saving

an extremely crucial mission
for you, my tiniest friend!

A crucial mission?

For me? Extremely crucial?

[RAKURO] Yeah! This pioneer
friend of your brother's

will return to
the Palace of Rabituza

to see your boss-dad Vash

and when that happens...

[gasps]

[RAKURO] I want you to
report back to me fast

and if you can,
try and keep her

from going anywhere
until I get here.

I fail to understand
your motive,

but you'd like me to keep
track of this pioneer?

[RAKURO] Righty-o!
Are you up to the task?

All I can do is my best!

[Rakuro chuckles]

[RAKURO] I'm used to it by now,

but she's almost too easy
to manipulate,

even by my standards.

Great! Now gate me
to Eighthold, chop-chop!

[EMUL] Righty-o!

You're back, bird boy.

I was wondering why there was
an ungodly amount

of ruckus in here.

[RAKURO]
The Ancient Craftsman herself!

[EMUL] What's up, big sis?

[RAKURO] I'm kind of in
a hurry, so what's up?

[BILAC] Don't "what's up" me!

No, you can't have my carrot!

[BILAC] Who cares!

I've finally finished!

Finished what, now?

[RAKURO] Wait, when you say
"finished," you mean.

[BILAC] Done! I used
all the parts you gave me,

both the crystal
and the golden scorpion bits

to craft my ultimate
masterpiece!

The Re-Legacy.

Meet Gilta Brille!

RE-LEGACY WEAPON
GILTA BRILL

[RAKURO] These things
are freaking huge!

Is this the weapon
I commissioned from you?

Yes, indeedilydo!
One and the same!

[BILAC] What's first?

You want me to craft
a twin sword, right?

- [RAKURO] Nah.
- Huh?

[RAKURO] I gotta expand
my combat repertoire.

Make me one of those,
pretty please!

A pair of super dope gauntlets
for hand-to-hand combat!

See, super dope enough?

[RAKURO] Ask and I shall receive
I guess,

but I wasn't expecting them
to be this big.

Can I even put these
on my arms?

Of course you can, bro!

I put a lotta work
into those bad boys,

especially the Divinity-era
tech

that let's ya use
your voice to--

[RAKURO] Sounds great!
I'll test these beauts

out in a fight later.

[gasps]

Don't you wanna hear
about my process?

[RAKURO] Sorry, Bilac,
but I'm in a hurry.

I'll come back when I can

and tell ya how they fared
in the field

then you can enlighten me.

In the meantime, feel free
to regale your sis Emul, here.

Huh?

But I'm not interested
in her stories

about hammers and stuff.

[RAKURO] Don't sweat it!
Just nod along

and tell her she's great.

You know,
like a bobblehead doll.

[EMUL] A bobblehead?

You, you stupid bird.

I poured my soul into that
piece and I get this?

[Bilac screams]

[RAKURO] Whoops, gotta go!

That was close.

[panting]

Good luck with everything,
Emul, she's all yours!

Okay, now I've got
my real work cut out for me.

How do I get from here
in Eighthold

to Fifticia before tomorrow.

SUNRAKU
MERCENARY [TWIN BLADE USER]

I'm level ninety-nine,
but from here on out

I'll be hitting some later-game
content areas.

Huh?

What's the "extend"
after my level mean?

Did I unlock a new
upper-limit or something?

I'll look into that later.

Still, I can't ignore the fact

that I'm heading
into new territory,

at this point I've spent
enough time

in the frontier
to know my limits.

Even I can't solo everything.

And since I'm in such a hurry

it sure would be nice
to have some assistance.

Um...

[laughter]

[RAKURO] Oh, hell no.

They're out for blood,
I can't afford that right now.

Shoo, outta my thought-bubble!

Think, man.

Who else do I know
that plays this game?

There's always the people
from our meeting.

Hmm.

♪

Oh, yeah, I wonder if they'd be
willing to help.

Doubt it, but you miss
every shot you don't take!

[screech]

SCHWARZ VULF HQ

[PSYGER-100]
Hmm?

- [MALE VULF MEMBER 19A] Hmm?
- [screech]

That for me?

[MALE VULF MEMBER 19A]
Who is it from?

It's Animalia.

Sounds like she's curious
about Lycagon.

Are you surprised the furries

have taken an interest
in a giant wolf?

Man, it's not like we know much
about Lycagon ourselves.

Yeah, I didn't know
what to tell her

when she reached out
to me this morning either!

Pretty awkward.

[pigeon coo]

Oh, dang, looks like
Psyger-Zero got one too!

Guess she's hitting up everyone
she can for a lead.

You can ignore those.

I'll send a reply
on Schwarz Vulf's behalf.

[whimpering]

[breathing heavily]

Huh? What's with you?

[REI [PSYGER-0]] I, uh,
need to log out for a sec.

[grunts]

[clears throat]

♪

What was that?

No idea.

[cicadas croaking]

SAIGA

♪

[REI] What should I do?

It, it's here.

It's finally happening to me!

I, I knew this day
would arrive!

Okay, Hizutome, he invited me,

he invited me to play with him!

[exhilarated]

CONSTANT PROGRESS

[RAKURO] Really,
she just logged out on me!

I hit her up at the worst time?

She's like
my only lifeline, here.

Man, this blows.

Wait, what the heck
does that say?

CANNOT EQUIP WEAPON DUE TO
INSUFFICIENT STATS.

GILTA BRILL
REQUIRED STATS

CANNOT EQUIP

I need three-hundred
vitality to equip these?

Sure, just add them
to the list.

Every freaking time.
Damn it!

Reading the Gilta Brill's
description text

made it seem like it was packed

with all these kindsa
cool features, too!

Huh? Wait a sec.

You can boost your vitality
with equipment, right?

[chuckles]

[RAKURO] I repaired the
Spiked Battlehelm Four-A.

It should give me a massive
stat boost, right?

Yes, five-hundred VIT!

Buh, duh duh!

With this edge-lord helmet,

I can equip
the Gilta Brill like

it's a couple
a screamo toothpicks!

In the Wethermon battle,
vitality was an afterthought.

This helm was good
for its head-parry capability

and that's it!

Who knew that sweet bonus
would come in handy!

Boy, I'm glad
I had Bilac craft this.

She's not just a blacksmith,
she can do it all!

As long as you get
what you want.

Now then, I'll throw
my unused statpoints

into Tech and Strength,
and I'm good to go!

I'm gonna look so awesome
when I equip that helmet

and whip out those
big crystal pokers!

Like, bam!

[eagle screech]

[RAKURO] Huh?

[RAKURO] Psyger-Zero
finally answered?

[REI [PSYGER-0]]
My sincerest apologies

for the delay in my response.

First, I'd like to thank you
for the invitation.

I would be delighted to work
with you on this endeavor.

I have enclosed a desirable
meeting place and time,

should you...

[RAKURO] Typical
"letters from the w*r"

writing style, but hey,

sounds like she's on board
to help me out!

Yeah, let's go, grandma!

Now, where would she like
to meet up.

In the eleventh town,
aptly named "Eleventar."

Which happens to be on
the other side

of the Ruins of Past Glories.

If I'm gonna make it to
Fifticia by 8 a.m. tomorrow

so I can get weird
with Rust and Mold,

I'll have to hook up
with Pysger-Zero

and hit the ground
running ASAP.

Here we go.

It's a classic
"race against the clock!"

Time to show that area boss
who the real boss is!

When they pitched Fifticia
as a meeting place,

I decided to hit the internet

and do a little research
of my own.

In SLF,
once you reach Thirdrema,

the path ahead splits
into three different forks

all leading to Fifticia.

FIFTICIA

Those routes take you
through three different zones,

each with their own challenges
befitting a range of pioneers.

I chose the route that
goes past Fourfolkshire.

A lot of players pick it

because it seems like
the shortest path to Fifticia,

and it is.

But because of that,
there's a trade-off.

If you wanna take
the short path,

you gotta fight the area boss
at the Ruins of Past Glories.

♪

[RAKURO] Ahoy, there!
We meet so soon, eh?

You don't know me, but I've
done my research on you

and you're going down!

[FEMALE NARRATOR] Behold,

the boss of
the Ruins of Past Glories.

Made up of various pieces
of ancient machinery,

scrap, and rubble, its traits
shift with the sands of time,

as do its unpredictable
attacks,

keeping the pioneers
who face it on their toes.

What's more, the rubble
covering its body

serves as an ever-present
armor,

making it difficult
to deal damage.

Every element of its design
is a testament to

and reminder of its late-game
existence.

[thud]

[whirring]

AREA BOSS
OVERDRESS GOLEM

[RAKURO] Overdress Golem.

I'd heard it was big,
but c'mon.

This thing is one peak short
of a freaking mountain!

Thank goodness
for the world wide web.

You used to be
an SLF boogeyman,

but then someone
figured out your weakness.

Now, you're nothing more than
a washed-up speed-run challenge

for high-level players like me!

The current record for beating
you is one minute, yeah?

Well, I'm about to rewrite
the books.

Start the clock!

NITRO GAIN / IGNITION /
cl*max BOOST

Skate Foot!

First, I gotta get back
behind it.

Then we climb!

Vorpal Blade Tech.
Evolved.

Moon's Reflection.

Vorpal Secret.

Waning Mirror!

[whirring]

[thud]

[RAKURO] Instead of Mount Trash

focusing on my back-stabbing
attacks,

he's bamboozled by my decoy!

It's a heck of a skill

even if it only lasts
for a few seconds!

Normally, you'd want a tank
in the party

to keep his aggro off of ya.

But with this a well-placed
decoy, I can do it solo!

Next up, my newly evolved
Boat Leaps.

Shana-Oh Incarnate!

Unlike your standard
"Boat Leaps" skill,

which buffs a limited
number of jumps,

the evolved version
enables you to super-jump

your heart out for thirty
whole seconds!

"Ruins of Past Glories,"

you're living up to your name,
aren't ya, big guy?

Decoy timed out, eh?

[chuckles]
No platform to bounce off?

No problem!
I can step on thin air!

Thanks, evolution of
Skywalker! Flit Float!

Huzzah!

Onward and upward,
I always say!

Great Climb. Let's go!

♪

[grunts]

[RAKURO]
Well, would you look at that.

Just the machine
I've been looking for!

According to other players
who have scaled Mount Garbo,

the two columns holding up
the massive wheel

are destructible,
and I'm here to confirm.

If you knock the wheel loose

the physics engine's gravity
will do its thing.

Then, you can move in
for the k*ll

because the Overdress Golem's
weak spot is revealed.

The crown of its head!

Despite my high level,

I could never pull off this
kind of destruction before.

But with these babies,

I can topple you
in less than a minute!

You ready to crack some
skulls, Gilta Brill?

Let the games begin!

We wouldn't want to keep
Psyger-Zero waiting now,

would we, my shiny new friend!

♪

[gasp]

♪

[giggles]

[REI [PSYGER-0]] I know
I'm not scheduled

to meet Hizutome for about
an hour, but still.

I just couldn't wait!

It's actually happening,
for real!

[giggles]

[WALLA: KIDS] SLF Theater!

Mini!

SLF THEATER

[MALE PLAYER 34A]
Our Lady of Love, Eristella.

At long last,
the time has come.

My dear,

I've scraped together
all the money I possibly could,

sometimes even through
petty theft.

But now
I finally have what I need!

[MALE PLAYER 34A] Sure, I PKed
a friend of mine on a lark,

because I couldn't earn it
by honest means.

But in my defense,

I've had to skip leveling
on the main scenario

to focus on gathering money!

It was the only way!

I did what I could
to be able to afford

your lady's rare holy water!

Now that I have the cash,

I can fill my entire inventory
with the stuff!

Bear witness,
as I stroll into the beginning

of a bold new chapter
of my life!

Yeah!

AND SO, THE NEW CHAPTER
OF HIS LIFE BEGINS...

Come back soon!

Nothing like buying out
a vendor's entire stock

of Saint's Holy Water.

It's a pain in the butt

to find it organically
in the game.

Man, what stellar find!

[panting]

[gasps]

[MALE PLAYER 34A]
Eristella!

RESTOCK DATE TBA