02x02 - Lair Necessities/Tobor or Not Tobor

[bunniefuu]

[Hamster] So, we got
a villain tracker over here,

a smoothie machine over there.

Whoa! You really outdid
yourself with this lair, Hamster.

You haven't
even seen the best part.

I present...

the sparring room.

Great. But who are you
gonna spar with?

With me! I'm pretty tough!

Ow!

- That hurt.
- I wasn't even using my powers.

That wasn't even
hamster strength.

That was like gerbil strength.

If we're going to defeat the Big Evil,
you guys need to practice

with someone who's as tough as you are.

Someone who could
take a beating

- for hours.
- And doesn't get tired.

And doesn't feel pain.

Ooh, I know someone like that.

[Tobor singing] ♪ Making
breakfast for my boy ♪

♪ 'Cause humans got to eat ♪

♪ He doesn't care for soy ♪

♪ So these eggs
I gotta beat ♪

[Nordle] Tobor!

Where are my gardening sandals?

They're between your
birdwatching moccasins

- and your stargazing clogs.
- [doorbell rings]

And get the door,
for Pete's sake!

What do I pay you for?

You do not pay me.

Is it my delivery
of tulip bulbs?

Superhero Hamster and Gretel?

Why are you here?

You're the vile Philistines
who incarcerated my father!

You mean Professor Megalomaniac
with the dumb hat? Guilty.

I think we're starting off
on the wrong foot.

We're really sorry
about your evil dad,

but we have urgent matters
to discuss with you,

citizen we've never
met before.

Are you releasing
my father from jail?

Yeah, and we're also freeing
all the hyenas at the zoo.

Are you calling
my father a hyena?

- Kind of.
- How dare you?

All right, all right.
Listen, Nordle.

I mean, citizen Nordle.

We know you're mad at us,
but there's a Big Evil coming to Earth,

and Tobor could help us train.

And why would I ever help you?

For the greater good?

What has the greater good
ever done for me?

I would be happy
to provide my services, sir.

I am usually free
after your sauna.

You know, that's when my pores
are open and I need you around!

Besides, I would never
let you help these parent pillagers!

So unless you have either
my father

or a Duchess da Parma
tulip behind your back,

I must say fair thee well.

- But--
- I said fair thee well!

[sighs]

Slamming doors on people
takes a lot out of me.

I'm going to take a nap.

[Gretel]
Nordle is so stubborn. Ugh!

The entire world is in danger!

Yeah. What are you gonna do?
Anyone hungry?

You seem pretty chill about
this whole "greater evil" thing.

I'm assuming this
"greater evil" is going after big things

like humans and farm animals.

They won't even notice me.

I mean, I'll miss you guys
and everything.

[doorbell rings]

Greetings, adolescent human.

Um, Gretel, large robot.

Tobor?
What are you doing here?

I have come to help you
prepare for the Big Evil you mentioned.

[chuckles nervously] Um, you must
have me confused with someone else.

- I don't know--
- I think we can drop the charade.

You are clearly Gretel,
the superhero.

You are both named Gretel.

You both have
a hamster named Hamster.

You both interrupt people
when they--

Okay. Okay. You're right.
I am Gretel, the superhero.

But you can't tell anyone, please?

My lips are sealed.

Just kidding. My mouth does
not contain a locking mechanism.

Or a mouth.

But Nordle told you
not to help us.

How can you
disobey his orders?

When Professor Exclamation left,

Nordle programmed me
to protect him at all costs.

Oh, so since
the Big Evil will harm Nordle,

you're obeying him
by disobeying him.

You are pretty smart
for a human,

except for your awful disguise,

which resembles a cheap princess costume
for a small dog.

I'm sorry.

My politeness setting
is set too low.

Your disguise resembles a delightful
princess costume for a small dog.

Now let's start
trying to hurt each other.

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ We're gonna be
fighting a foe ♪

♪ That we just don't know ♪

♪ We have no idea
how they're gonna fight ♪

♪ We don't know
who will face us a

♪ So we'll cover all bases ♪

♪ Gonna try
to prepare tonight ♪

♪ We'll try boxing, jousting
kicking, poking ♪

♪ Martial arts, fencing
dodging, throwing pies ♪

♪ And throwing darts
judo slapping ♪

♪ Tae kwon do, tiddly winks
and hammer throw ♪

♪ We'll try it all ♪

♪ 'Cause we're just not
familiar with our counterparts ♪

♪ Don't even know how many
of them there are ♪

♪ Is it an army
or is it just one big guy? ♪

♪ So we have to enact ♪

♪ This kind
of scattergun practice ♪

♪ In a vain attempt
to fortify ♪

♪ Against a foe
we don't know ♪

You're home awfully late.

We said we'd reorganize
my Lithuanian stamp collection.

Oh, sorry,
I was playing cards...

with the boys.

Don't lie to me!

[gasps] Are those...

scuff marks?

Wait a minute.

Were you training
with someone else behind my back?

No, I was just hit by a bus.

I thought you were
playing cards with the boys!

The boys were on the bus.

And I have a headache.

I'm going to bed.

Robots don't sleep!

Your lies
are tearing me apart, Tobor!

Hit me again, Sam!

That's your third strawberry milkshake,
Nordle. I think that's enough.

Just give me what I asked for.

I'm sorry, Sam.

You didn't deserve that.

So, trouble at home?

Well, it's Tobor.

I think he's been spending
time with other people.

Well, even robots
need attention.

You ever thought
of buying him a gift?

You know his favorite color?

I don't actually.

It's gray, and you kind
of just proved my point.

Well, I don't need to listen
to a ice cream man

tell me what to feel!

I'm sorry, Sam.

It's the sprinkles talking.

Maybe Sam is right.

Maybe I do need to appreciate
Tobor more.

[gasps]

Help, help! Some metal guy
stole one of my wigs and a dress!

Tobor, I know it's you!

Tobor!

[gasps]

Ow! My hair!

- What are you--
- Ahh!

This is no way
to run a business!

- Free samples.
- Free samples.

Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!

It's not a buffet, lady!

Half-priced pizza
in the freezer section!

Free samples.

You stop it! I am not buying
a 40-pound bag of radishes!

It's 45 pounds.

That is actually a good deal.

Tobor, are you hurt?

- Tobor!
- Sorry.

I was just thinking
about my boy.

I do not like deceiving him
this way.

Aww, Tobor,
that's so sweet.

Well, I am a sweet
and delightful robot!

Tobor?
Tobor, are you okay?

And now I must destroy you.

Tobor, what are you doing?

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Evasive maneuver alpha!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

- Annihilate! Crush! Destroy! Repeat!
- Defensive maneuver beta!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Run away like cowards delta!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Okay, that solves dinner
for the next two weeks.

But how am I gonna find
my robot/servant/father figure?

Oh, there he is!

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

Aha! So you were training
with someone behind my back.

Citizen Nordle,
Tobor's gone haywire!

Yeah, sometimes he starts
randomly attacking people

when he gets hit
on the head with a wrench!

How do I snap him
out of it?

With a secret code phrase
that only I know.

But why should I help you
when you all deceived me?

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

You've got it all wrong.
He's trying to save you!

What are you talking about?

Annihilate! Crush!
Destroy! Repeat!

- Gretel!
- Gretel beans!

- Annihilate! Crush! Destroy! Repeat!
- Nordle.

Annihilate! Crush!

The only reason he could disobey you
is that he knew it might save your life.

You're the thing
he cares about most!

Tobor, stop.

That's your
secret code phrase? "Stop"?

Well, you didn't guess it,
did you?

Oh, no! Did I get hit
in the head with a wrench again?

How embarrassing.

This is going to take hours
to clean up.

So what finally
changed your mind?

I didn't want my petty squabbles to get
in the way of doing the right thing.

I am so sorry I deceived you.

But it was only
to protect you.

I hope you still think
I am a good robot.

It's not all about you, Tobor.

Uh, maybe a little.

[clears throat]

For me?

Gray. My favorite color.

I didn't know you cared.

Hey, you know how I feel
about public displays of affection.

I didn't say stop.

Why don't we go home and work
on your Lithuanian stamp collection?

I guess
that might be acceptable.

[Kevin] Well, that was
a good practice session.

Besides, Tobor being hit
in the head with the wrench,

and, you know,
attacking everyone.

I think we should keep
training with him.

I mean, how often do wrenches
fall out of the sky?

Are you sure dropping wrenches to
promote Wrench World is a good idea?

Who doesn't like a free wrench?

Hey, when you're right,
you're right.

[people screaming]

[♪ theme music playing]

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪