01x06 - Yaar Ki Shaadi

[bunniefuu]

I'd f*cking told you!

You could have died today!

Why don't you ever listen to me?

Here.

The guy barely even sat on his bike--

If he was riding…

he would've been charged
with drunk driving.

But that didn't happen.

-Sit.
-Don't make excuses for him. Please.

Question…

you plan to go as Capt.
Hook for the wedding?

Your wedding suit has lost its sleeves.

Lavu…

Auntie…

Melroy?

Auntie, your son has been
missing for two days.

And you haven't filed
a police complaint yet?

Mr. Pitroda didn't allow it.

He said it's part of the learning process.

Does anyone know
where Melroy's real dad's house is?

No. Why?

Didn't he die?

But the house is still there.

Seeing this mess, I think I'm better off.

How?

No dad!

No worries!

Padmashri Mr. Yuv Singh Maharaj alleges

that AG the OG's new song
"Ro lehn de" is copied from his song.

While AG the OG hasn't
commented on this yet.

-Has this guy lost his mind?
-Let us hear the song…

The f*ck!

I laughed, I danced

-I gave myself away
-I have an old recording of this song.

The tune and the first two lines
are copied from my song.

-The old fogy is crazy.
-Will you lodge a case of plagiarism

-against Arjun Gill?
-What is he saying?

Not at all.

When a son follows in
his father's footsteps,

it's a matter of pride for the father.

What is he saying?

Padmashri Mr. Yuv Singh Maharaj
makes a huge revelation…

that popular Punjabi pop star
Arjun Gill aka AG the OG…

is his illegitimate son.

f*ck off!

Leave me alone, please.

I said f*cking leave me alone!

f*ck!

-Baba!
-This is sick.

I laughed, I danced

I gave myself away

For once, come hug me tight

With all your heart

So that I can cry…

Let me cry today

Let me cry today

So that I can cry my heart out

Let me cry

Let me cry today

You lied to me…

that he was dead.

I'm sorry, son.

How could you not tell me, Mumma,

that my father is a legend?

Legends…

are assholes in real life!

But you should have told me.

I didn't know…

I didn't know he would do this.

You'd always hum that song.

You lied,
you said you'd written those lyrics.

What would I have told you?

That your missing father had written it?

Let me cry today

Let me cry today

Let me cry my heart out

Hello, Ma. Are you okay?

Yes.

I hope he doesn't know that I knew.

He doesn't.

It's my wedding day, Ma.

I know, son.

Okay, bye.

We will discuss this
after Rishabh's wedding.

I don't even want one guest
to be waiting in the lobby.

-Yes.
-Not even for five minutes.

The moment they come,
please give them their room key

-and send their luggage upstairs.
-Ma'am, I'll manage everything.

I'll be right there, Preets.

I've given everyone's details
and IDs to you two weeks ago.

Please check them.

Everything will be fine, ma'am.
Please don't worry.

This is the third day you've
come to recheck everything.

-I'm just being careful.
-Lavanya!

-Yes?
-Aunt Anju's children will be here too.

They'll need a room.

It's difficult to arrange it
at the last minute--

You must! It's a grand wedding, after all.
Sorry.

Auntie, can they please
manage with one room?

No… double room!

You're such a sweetheart. Thank you.
You'll arrange it, right?

You had to put it on my nose!

It's not my ceremony.

Teasing you all the time

Teasing you and driving you crazy

Teasing you all the time

Teasing you and driving you crazy

Teasing you all the time

Teasing you and driving you crazy

Teasing you all the time

Namaste, ma'am. Namaste.

Namaste.

I am Rishabh's uncle.

And I am Rishabh's aunt.

The function is beautiful,
but it's very hot out here.

It should've been held indoors,
in air-conditioning.

-Correct, it's very hot in Mumbai.
-Exactly.

Fenil…

what is this lighting?

This isn't what I had asked for.

Ma'am, it was sir who…

You know what…

the yellow lights were looking very dull,

so I had them changed.

It's our son's wedding, after all.

We should have… colorful lights.

We belong to a royal family, after all.

I mean, half-royal.

Aren't they looking nice?

-Uncle, just one minute. I'll see you.
-Yeah, sure.

Beautiful! Put the same lights over there.

-Baby…
-Yeah? I'll be back.

-Listen, you have to do something.
-What happened?

Uncle has changed all
the yellow lights to some

multi-colored sh*t. Can you see this?

Rish, it looks like Bappi Lahiri's
going to perform here any minute!

Come on!

Rish, I had planned these
amazing yellow lights.

It was going to look so classy.
This is looking hideous.

Yellow, red, pink… what does it matter?

It's fine, baby.

It matters.

I've ex*cuted my entire life's
planning in these two months.

It's… looking nice.

It'll look better.

Rish, I really expected
some support at this point.

Come on, Lavu! I'm tired now!

-This is yellow…
-Your face is yellow.

-Rishu…
-What is it?

Uncle Ashok says his room is too small.

He's raising a fuss.

-Come and handle it.
-But we've given him a suite! Ashok--

You please chill, Lavu.

I-- It's looking very nice.

Very nice.

Can I get another groom?

Make do with this for now.

Honestly, Lavu,
every bride goes through this.

It's very normal.

Sounds damn rough, man.

Preet, for you, finding a groom is rough.

Shut up, Sheetu.

Listen, my hands and face
are itching like crazy.

I wonder what's wrong.

Put an ice pack, it's going to be fine.

This is so pissing off, man.
This is just--

Just wash up, man.

Ralph is going to be here any minute.

You're going to be okay.

And Lauren?

No one got my joke.

Bro…

how are you?

As kids, we've joked about not
knowing who your father is…

and now this.

Come and give me a hug, dude.

I'm angry with myself
Who do I complain to?

The fault is all mine

That I act on impulse

And make false promises

I don't know how to face myself

I don't deserve forgiveness

'Cause I'm bad

They say I'm a flop singer from Canada

-Just forget it
-Baba?

Let me feel the pain

-Don't stop me
-Baba.

-Let the tears flow
-Get ready.

Let me cry

Let me cry today

Let me cry today

Let me cry my heart out

Moisturizer…

What the f*ck!

Give a fun pose… a fun one.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Hi.

I've already been asked by three people…

Who am I wearing?

Thanks for making us look
like sex bombs, Sheetu.

Thank you, guys.

-I know!
-Thank you.

My Sheetu is the best.

Oh, f*ck!

It's just been itching.

I've showered twice,
but it's getting worse.

Okay, you need to calm down

and tell me right from the beginning
what all has touched your face.

In the morning, I wore some light makeup,

and after that has been
the turmeric ceremony, so…

nothing at all.

-Are you allergic to turmeric?
-No.

Gram flour?

Sandalwood.

Ma, what were the ingredients
in the turmeric mixture?

Frederick?

Mom, turmeric!

I don't know.
The turmeric came from Rishabh's side.

-Okay.
-What the hell happened?

Did the turmeric mix have sandalwood?

Mom, did Lavu's turmeric have gram flour?

-Not gram flour, it's--
-Chandan.

f*ck. Baby, I'm coming to you right away.

Really, Mom?

What's wrong with him?

What is that?

What is that? Allergies?

Sweetie, you look proper-f*cked.

Okay, just… breathe.

Rishu.

I'm so sorry, baby. I had no clue.

Okay. I'll be back.

Rishabh, bro…

the photographer wants
some solo shots, come.

Get your photos taken first,
I'll be there soon.

These photos are very important,
hurry up and come.

-You go take your photos first.
-Okay.

Why is this happening to me?

Don't feel bad, Lavu.

In a wedding… sh*t happens.

Look at me…

I look like a weirdo.

I wanted everything to be perfect, man.

What does perfect even mean?

I mean…

people have perfect weddings,
and imperfect relationships, right?

Look here, Lavu…

we have love.

And you're the most
beautiful girl in my eyes.

With patches or without,
I don't give a f*ck.

Bro, the photographer
is getting really angry, hurry up.

-I'll be right there.
-Where is my sexy bride?

-Looking sharp!
-Thanks.

What are we gonna do?

-We'll figure it out.
-Oh my God, you look really…

Superhot.

Thanks!

-I'm sure he can fix you, can't he?
-Yeah, right!

-Ralph…
-What do I do? What do I do with this?

You'll be fine.

Many years later,
you'll look back at this day and laugh.

Don't ruin your big day for yourself.

You'll be fine.

Kids, as soon as she's ready

-just bring her down.
-Yeah. You go.

Lavu, I've got you an anti-allergy
pill, please take it.

Some water.

Is it looking very bad?

-No.
-No.

Bartender…

Just one minute, sir.

Hello, can I have a repeat, please?

Hello.

You okay, Mel?

Yeah.

What took you so long?
Everyone has been waiting for you.

-Mom…
-Come.

Meet Rishabh's uncle.

-Touch their feet.
-Namaste.

-Ask for his blessings!
-Yeah.

Come on!

Lavanya.

I'll be right there.

Damn, the b*tch is looking breathtaking.

She is.

You've done a great job
designing her outfit, Sheets.

She's looking so nice.

I haven't designed it. She bought it.

She said my outfit didn't fit her well
and politely discarded it.

Did you feel bad?

A little.

Be honest with me…

am I not a good designer?

Don't be silly, Sheets.

Don't feel bad.

If she wants to wear
an expensive designer outfit,

let her waste her money.

See how nice I look

in the outfit you've designed.

Thank you.

Between you and me,

I can make this expensive
outfit for 1/10th the price.

Copy to copy.

-Really?
-Of course.

Make one for me.

And listen…

you'd better not get drunk
and tell her that I felt bad.

I can't promise you that.

I won't tell her.

-Let's go.
-Yeah.

-The ring…
-That's why I was saying…

I'm feeling shy.

Congratulations.

-Your drink, babe.
-Thanks--

I'm sorry! sh*t!

I thought it was a friend of mine.

It's okay.

Should I take it back?

It's a wedding. The drinks are free.

Plus, I like this drink.

Of course.

-Sorry again.
-Yeah.

-Who was that?
-I don't know. Some random person.

Hope he behaved appropriately.

-AG!
-AG!

-Can we have a selfie with you?
-AG!

-Sir, one photo, please!
-My daughter is a big fan.

She's a kid, she's too young to be my fan.

-Sir…
-Hi, how are you?

Come on, guys, performance time!

Arjun!

The Land Cruiser bedecked with flowers

Will be part of your wedding procession

Right from Amritsar to Patiala

The roads will be lit with disco lights

Listen to me, girls

You have to burn the dance floor

Pour your drinks into soda bottles

And pass the whiskey around

I'll glug from the bottle

Glug straight from the bottle

I'll glug from the bottle

'Cause I like my drink neat

I'll glug from the bottle

And tell everyone…

My friend is getting married

My brother is getting married

My friend is getting married

My bro is getting married

My friend is getting married

My brother is getting married

My friend is getting married

My bro is getting married

And India's population is set to increase

My friend is getting married

My bro is getting married

It's an auspicious day
And we're going to party

Everybody, put your hands up

All our relatives
And friends have come together

Time to celebrate together

Money will be spent

Alcohol will flow

'Cause my brother is getting married

Paired with my Armani suit is my Nike

When I say AG

-you say…
-OG!

He was away for 12 years

And brought back a b*mb

Anyone who doesn't dance tonight

Is a fool

He was away for 12 years

And brought back a b*mb

O bartender, fill our glasses

And make them large

'Cause my friend is getting married

My brother is getting married

My friend is getting married

My bro is getting married

My friend is getting married

My brother is getting married

My friend is getting married

My bro is getting married

And India's population is set to increase

My friend is getting married

My brother is getting married

I'll be right back.

Come on.

Listen, silver really suits you.

I love animals.

Listen…

One second.

I was saying…
I can solve everyone's problems

except for my own.

Why is it like that?

My favorite song.

Hang in there, okay?

Don't be too naughty.

Gallop away.

Whatever floats your boat.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Actually, I got some really nice
pictures of you talking to the horse.

Excuse me!

Just because I danced with you,

you're taking photos and blackmailing me?

It's not what you think.

Show.

If you give me your number,
I'll send the photos to you.

Only for the photos.

Yeah, of course.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Arjun…

Was the guy flirting with you?

What's the story?

No f*cking story, man.

Anyway…

I think I want to be alone for some time.

My luck is f*cked in such matters.

If you know what I mean.

A poem for you…

Wow!

Let me start at least, Melu.

Sure.

You have the fire,

you have the spark.

You have the fire, you have the spark.

These boys are small fry,
dude, Melroy, you're the shark!

Deep, bro.

Very deep, but like…

in a bullshit kind of way.

Like my entire discography, you f*ck!

Want a drink?

Of course, man.

Waiter…

I'll take this.

I'll take this.

And one for safety.

Thank you.

One for safety.

Are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

I'm a rock star, bro.

Yes.

And because you're a rock star,
no one asks you if you're okay.

Forget it.

Let's catch some fish for you.

Look…

It's his fault…

that he's a f*cking as*h*le.

That's not your fault.

It's his loss, so f*ck him!

He played the sitar and f*cked up.

You play the guitar and party on.

That was a good one.

That was good.

It was good.

Melu, I f*cking love you, man.

Better than your sh*t.

Look at her.

Brother… what's going on?

-You, don't worry.
-Look how she's dancing!

I'll do something about it.

-Is this appropriate for a wedding?
-Brother…

-Sister-in-law…
-Rishu, come here.

Yes?

What's going on here?

What does Antara think she's doing?

Is this a wedding

or a competition to see
who can shame us the most?

What Dad-Dad? What Dad?

The guests have left!

But I-I-I… what?

Are you trying to justify this?

Look at her.

So cheap!

-Disgusting!
-Dad, I--

-Disgusting!
-Dad, please!

Excuse me.

-See ya!
-See ya!

What's going on here, Lavanya?

What does your mother think she's doing?
So embarrassing.

-One minute…
-What's going on Rishu?

-I'll do something.
-Do something about it.

I am, Ma.

Please.

-Just handle it, okay?
-Yes.

So embarrassing.

Get your mom to behave, Lavu.

My parents are not comfortable
with the way she's behaving.

That too in front of so many people.

Ever since you were in your knickers,
you've been saying…

"Ants is so cool."

And now you're like,
"Get your mom to behave",

because your parents are not comfortable?

Wow.

All right!

It's her daughter's wedding,

and she's f*cking going
to have a great time.

Lavanya, it's my parents'
son's wedding too.

You need to understand.

Try and understand, you and your family
need to be a little careful.

The guests are from my
dad's side of the family.

This is not acceptable in their culture.

They come from villages.

My uncle is a heart patient,

this pole dancing will give
him a f*cking heart attack!

Must you make an issue out of everything?
Try to understand--

And what about your family?

Their issues are never-ending!

Why are you getting hyper, man?

-I am tired of your family.
-What are you saying?!

They may be half-royal,
but they're fully backward!

-Lavanya, enough. You're making--
-Everyone is looking.

-f*cking--
-Stop.

Everyone is looking.

I thought these were prep issues
that would get over.

-Okay.
-Stop, Lavanya.

Thank you.
Thank you for ruining it for me.

Enjoy the rest of the evening alone!

Listen, I need some time alone.

-Please, Lavu!
-Let her be.

-I need to be alone, guys.
-Look how she's talking.

-Wait, Lavu…
-Hang on.

I mean, you…

Listen…

Why are you ruining my friend's life?

Should I ruin yours instead?

Maybe it's love

Maybe it's not

Maybe it's a feeling, baby

Just a feeling that we've got

Maybe the sky

Maybe the sea

Should we just dive in, swim in, sink in

Or let it be?

No, no… why

Why is this happening?

Should it have happened?

Could it get me opened up and free?

Oh, it's so stupid

Wait… do I like it?

Yeah, so stupid

And I gotta know if it all is worth it

Oh, it's so stupid