01x07 - First Footing

[bunniefuu]

["NEW SONG" PLAYING]

[NAN] Of course, everyone will

know. They'll all be whispering.

- Yes, happy New Year.

- So glad you could come.

Thank you. Happy New Year to you too.

I can't look at them.

I can't look at anyone.

For God's sake, don't

glance into the garden.

- [MOUTHING] Wha

- Four hours.

Till midnight?

Until it's acceptable for

us to ask them all to leave.

[CHATTERING]

Did you really?

[CHATTER QUIETS]

- [NAN] Told you.

- [GUESTS MURMURING]

[THEO] Lord and Lady Brightlingsea.

Your Grace, we're so

glad you could come.

Thank you for opening

up your beautiful home.

And here's to a very happy New Year.

Well, at least we're not

the most ashamed here.

His father will be turning in his grave.

[CHUCKLES] Marrying an illegitimate.

Can you believe he's still marrying her?

It can only be love.

[LADY TRAYLING] Or witchcraft.

[GUESTS WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Maybe she's carrying

a b*stard of her own.

I need to go find my friends.

["NORTH AMERICAN SCUM" PLAYING]

- There you are.

- [GUY] Excuse me.

I was starting to forget what a

friendly face looked like. [SIGHS]

I noticed you weren't

getting the best welcome.

Must, uh, feel a bit foreign.

[THEO] Mmm.

I was hoping society might take my lead

in their response to Nan's lineage.

- I'm afraid not everyone's so generous.

- [CHUCKLES]

Well, lucky Nan, to have fallen for

a man so bighearted and charitable.

And with the means to be

able to disregard her secret.

I disregarded it because

it doesn't matter to me.

Not because I can afford to.

Of course. Financial worries are

irrelevant if you've never had any.

No Jean this evening?

So, how is Nan? Hiding

from all the high horses?

Nan's with her friends.

Good of you to be concerned. But

I know my fiancée better than you.

[GUY] Of course.

Though I do know the weight

of feeling inadequate.

- Mm-hmm.

- Something else entirely unfamiliar to you.

Ah.

["KISSING LESSONS" PLAYING]

[GUEST] Whoo!

[CONCHITA] Hello,

ladies and beautiful men.

[LIZZY] Hi!

Welcome to our extravaganza.

- Happy New Year, everyone. [CHUCKLING]

- Cheers.

Well, Lady Brightlingsea sure changed.

You know, the joy of it

all is that she hasn't.

[CHUCKLING]

- Conchita!

- No!

Girls, can I help it if the party

organizers find me persuasive?

I have to take my pleasure where I can.

Can you think of anything

they'll hate more than this?

- Cheers to that.

- Cheers. [CHUCKLES]

- Yes.

- Cheers to that.

[THEO] Having fun?

I am being treated like a stray dog

who you were kind enough to adopt.

All I'll ever be from now

on is my father's shame.

[SCOFFS] Not at all. In a week,

you'll be the Duchess of Tintagel

and have all the legitimacy

and respect you could wish for.

No, your legitimacy and

respect. I'd like some of my own.

[SCOFFS]

Well, respect has to be earned.

I've worked desperately my whole life

to be the person people want me to be.

I'm used to the whispering, of course.

It's just until recently,

the whispers were

[NAN] Admiring?

Well, I'm sorry if I've

ruined your reputation.

Didn't I make it abundantly clear

at Christmas that I love you?

And that I've chosen

to share your burden?

So that's how you see me? A burden.

You're deliberately misunderstanding.

[SCOFFS, STAMMERS] Why

aren't you more grateful?

Nan, you're forgetting that the minute

you revealed your secret at Christmas,

- I immediately overlooked it.

- Well, how can I ever thank you?

[SEADOWN] What have they done to

the house? It looks like a circus.

Conchita has once again

managed to embarrass my parents.

Jinny?

Darling, no need to be nervous.

I don't expect we'll

get a very warm welcome.

Well, we can keep each other warm.

And you'll always have me. Will I do?

Oh, you'll do very nicely.

- [CHUCKLES]

- I believe you're one of the Americans.

I'm the original American.

Well, could you advise your

friend to find somewhere

other than the bathroom for crying?

She's causing a queue.

Thank you. Excuse me.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[KNOCKING]

[CONCHITA] Nan, open up.

[LIZZY] Are you in there? Nan?

[KNOCKING]

- [LIZZY] Nan?

- [SIGHS]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

[CONCHITA] Hey.

Darling.

[SIGHS]

I just feel idiotic. Of course,

they're all gonna judge me.

And they're not just judging

me. They're judging Theo.

Well, we're not.

You've got the right idea.

Okay, Nan, we're not getting out

of this tub until you feel better.

I tried to tell you about

my mother a hundred times.

And I thought everyone

finding out at Christmas

would be the end of all this.

I suppose we've been so

busy worrying about husbands

we've drifted far apart.

[CHUCKLING] We're not that far apart.

- [LIZZY] Nope, nope, nope, nope.

- [CHUCKLES]

Nan. [CHUCKLING] No,

never. Never properly apart.

Oh, my God.

- [ALL CHUCKLING]

- [KNOCKING]

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] We are

busy using the lavatory.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

Oh, Jinny.

[SEADOWN BREATHES DEEPLY]

Nan.

[KNOCKING]

[WHISPERING] How is she?

- Perfect.

- [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

Hello. Oh, I've missed you. [CHUCKLES]

I'm glad they're back.

Do you think Mother and Father

ever tickled us like this?

[MINNIE GIGGLING]

I don't know.

[MINNIE BABBLING]

Can't imagine it.

I sometimes used to pretend Miss

Testvalley was our real mother.

It wasn't hard. She did all

the things a mother should.

We never had that, had we?

Perhaps that's why we clung to her so.

- You the most.

- That's not

I found it all very

confusing at the time.

And I wonder if you did too.

You were very young. Just a boy really.

All those mornings when your

bed hadn't been slept in.

It wasn't your job to come

looking for me, Honoria.

[MINNIE CRIES]

- [SHUSHING] It's okay. It's okay.

- [CRYING]

[SHUSHES] Hey, hey, hey.

It's okay. [SHUSHES]

Hey.

I often think about that

summer playing hide-and-seek.

You always used to give

yourself away. Do you remember?

You'd get the giggles the minute

you knew I was near. [CHUCKLES]

But then she came, and you

stopped wanting to play.

I don't think I saw you laugh

again until you met Conchita.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

[LIZZY] Nan.

Did you see who's here?

Father, I was just saying to Virginia,

all these v-vultures

ruining the floorboards

just to get a look at some

disgraced nearly-duchess.

[LAUGHS] Yes, very good.

So, my boy, I want you

to do the first footing.

[STAMMERING] But what about Richard?

[LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA]

Oh, he's wandering around

like a lame duck or a girl.

But we can't have him cross the

threshold first in that state.

God knows what rotten luck we'll invite.

I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

[GASPS]

I'll miss you.

- [CHATTERING]

- [MOUTHING] Sorry.

- Mother.

- Darling, we were meant to surprise you.

I-I thought you weren't

coming till next week.

- Well, that's the surprise. [CHUCKLES]

- [LAUGHS]

[PATTI] Now, where's

Nan? I've missed you both.

[JINNY] Mother, I

[PATTI] Jinny, what's

wrong? What's the matter?

Jinny.

[PATTI] So, everybody knows.

But a-actually, it all

worked out rather well.

Theo's a gentleman, and the

wedding is still going ahead.

And actually, I'm sure Nan is

happy to have it all out in the open

and to know how much Theo cares.

So maybe Maybe it

is all for the best.

[TRACY CHUCKLES] Maybe.

Well, Jinny, you always

did like to talk. [SIGHS]

[JINNY] I'm sorry if I

embarrassed you, Mother.

But we really did I-I really

did think it was important

I'm not embarrassed. I'm

done being embarrassed.

I never ever meant to

purposefully hurt you.

But you purposefully hurt your

sister, and that breaks my heart.

This is so unlike the Jinny

I know. I don't understand.

Oh, Nan.

What must this be like

for you? I'm so sorry.

That's all right. I've had

my friends look after me.

[TRACY] Sweetheart.

[NAN] In the absence of family.

Huh.

So [SIGHS] the duke

still wants to marry you, huh?

- [SIGHING] Mr. Good Guy.

- [NAN] Mmm.

- They're all talking about us.

- Huh.

- Well, we're worth talking about.

- [TRACY] Hmm.

You're happy, though?

- Guy. Guy.

- [TRACY] Oh.

This is, uh This is Guy Thwarte.

This is Theo's oldest friend.

- Parents.

- Oh, no need. No, I'm nobody.

- I'm delighted to meet you both.

- [PATTI] Likewise.

[TRACY] Well, any friend

of the duke's is a

Do you s-still need help with that job?

- Uh, yes, I do. Thank you.

- Yes. Okay.

I'll see you soon.

[TRACY] So, all's well that

ends well. [CLEARS THROAT]

[PATTI] Tracy, she's

pretending. We all are.

Ah.

["MIDNIGHT BIRD" PLAYING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY, GROANING]

[SNIFFS]

[NAN] You always know the best spots.

[NAN SIGHS]

Don't let the whisperers make

you ashamed of who you are.

[SONG ENDS]

[LADY BRIGHTLINGSEA] Mrs. St. George.

Lady Brightlingsea.

What a very chic party.

Ah. Too kind.

[TRACY] Well, this time she

Colonel, would you be so good

as to fetch us some drinks?

Oh, yes. Yes, of course. [CLEARS THROAT]

Just to say, if the

rumors are to be believed,

the Earl of Leicester had at

least one cuckoo in the nest.

Of course, the earl

hasn't been seen in public

for over a decade. [CHUCKLES]

Aren't you brave, showing

your face, come what may?

I do admire you Americans,

your lack of shame.

Well, I have no shame.

That's the spirit. Well done, you.

Mrs. St. George. Welcome.

Would you care to dance?

I would love to.

I'm terribly sorry for

all the embarrassment

that my family has caused you.

You don't need to apologize

for anything, Mrs. St. George.

And soon, you'll be

the mother of a duchess,

so no need to answer to anyone.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

[THEO] You must be exhausted.

It's not easy bearing the

weight of someone else's cross.

Whatever weight I've had to

bear, I have to remind myself

it's light as a feather compared

to what's been forced upon Nan.

I hope you know I'm not

simply marrying your daughter.

I'm in love with her too.

Well, that's all I've ever

wanted for both of my daughters.

And for yourself?

What did you want for yourself?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[DOOR OPENS]

Guess we'd all like to hide

away up here, of course.

This constant drama, Richard.

You've learned that from your wife.

Now, come on. Up you get.

Let's get you dressed. Come on.

Come on.

Mother, I need to tell you something.

Can it wait, please? I mean, they're

out there pocketing the silver.

Years ago, when you employed her

I had a, uh

a a-a-a courtship,

I suppose, with Miss Testvalley.

We were intimate.

I believed we were in love,

but I'm coming to wonder

When I think of it now, it feels

confusing, to say the least.

- [MRS. BRIGHTLINGSEA SIGHS]

- And, um [SWALLOWS]

Is she asking for money this time?

You knew?

Who do you think persuaded

her to leave the first time?

But you didn't say anything

to me. You didn't talk to me.

- I'm your mother.

- And I was barely a man.

Richard, mothers often

don't talk to their sons

at all in polite society.

[STAMMERS] I sent her away before

you could do something foolish,

like proposing, which wouldn't

just have meant your name in ruins,

it would've brought your

brother and sister down with you.

Well, heaven forbid their lives

might have been any less blissful.

[SIGHS] I'm not gonna have any

more of this tedious wallowing.

Now enough, please.

- You're a man now.

- [CHUCKLING]

Time to act like one.

- [SIGHS]

- Hmm?

Splash some water on your face,

and I'll see you downstairs.

["LET'S MAKE A MISTAKE TONIGHT" PLAYING]

- [GUESTS] eight, nine, ten.

- [LIZZY LAUGHING]

[GUESTS CHUCKLING, CLAMORING]

[GUEST CHUCKLES] Over here.

[LIZZY EXCLAIMS, LAUGHING]

[STAMMERS] Okay, um

Um.

[GUESTS CHATTERING]

I have no idea.

Who are you?

Funny, you don't know me

when I know every inch of you.

First, you ruin Nan's life,

and then you stand by and let

your husband humiliate me again.

- Lizzy.

- I thought you needed protecting,

but you are just as bad as

he is. You deserve each other.

[JINNY] Lizzy.

[TRACY] Every single person here

either has a rod up their backside

or is laughing at us.

Come on. Find your coat.

- We're leaving.

- [PATTI] It's not even midnight.

[TRACY] I don't care. I've had

enough of all the whispering,

and everyone seems to

be avoiding me anyway.

- I wanna leave.

- But what do I want?

[TRACY] Excuse me?

[SIGHS] Oh, how the

hell would I know, Patti?

Have you ever asked? Even once?

Do you even care?

Please, can we just find our coats?

I'm not leaving you.

But Tracy

I believe I'm leaving you.

Oh. [STAMMERS, SIGHS]

Sweetheart, without

me, you have nothing.

Not true. Not anymore.

Haven't you heard? My

daughter's marrying a duke.

I'll be the mother of a duchess,

with the kind of power

that money could never buy.

The power to walk away from you.

Okay, Patti [CHUCKLES]

Look, we are both very tired

after an extremely long journey.

We've had too much champagne,

and now this whole farrago.

So, please, let's [CHUCKLES]

Let's just get some sleep,

and-and we can talk tomorrow.

No more talking.

- [SIGHS]

- And no more pretending

to laugh at your jokes

or turning my back every

time something young

and pretty catches your eye.

- [CLEARS THROAT]

- I have always deserved more.

But I've always put my girls first.

And no matter how

small you made me feel,

I made sure they were

the tallest in the room.

And now they're letting me

stand on their shoulders

where you could never reach.

Once Nan's married and

we get back to New York,

let me be clear, I shall

be getting a divorce.

[GUESTS CHATTERING, LAUGHING]

[SIGHS] It's my first time seeing

the New Year in from England.

It's almost midnight. You

ought to find your fiancé.

I got engaged so I

could carry on being me.

So that's who you are then,

a liar and a disappointment.

I forgot making others feel

small is your favorite pastime.

I was fine before I met you.

I'd never been under any

impression that I might be special.

Never lied to by my parents

that I might one day be wanted.

I knew my limitations. And

I had made peace with them.

But then you arrived

and you made me feel so [SOBS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I hate you for making me feel

like I could be loved. [SNIFFS]

[GUESTS LAUGHING, CHATTERING]

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

I was worried about you, but I

see your spirits have been lifted.

- Uh, we were just up

- [GUY] Taking the view of the roof.

Have you seen it?

[THEO] I haven't.

[SIGHS] It's quite something.

Mmm. I'll bet.

[GUESTS CHATTERING, LAUGHING]

[LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA]

Three minutes. Chop-chop.

Collect your coats before

the bells and miss the rush.

- Should we?

- You go ahead.

I've remembered something I

need to discuss with my best man.

[GUY] So [BREATHES DEEPLY]

the wedding [SIGHS]

[THEO] Well, it's certainly

related to the wedding.

[GUY] Hmm.

Specifically my future wife and

your inability to stay away from her.

- Nan and I are friends.

- [CHUCKLES]

You and I have been friends

a long time, in theory,

and you never once sent me

a telegram declaring love.

[SCOFFS]

You've known all this

time, and you didn't say?

That's right.

I'm the villain,

not the man sending love letters

to his best friend's fiancée.

Well, it didn't work. She chose me.

[SCOFFS]

Did she?

["TKO" PLAYING]

[LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA]

Here we go, everyone!

- Ten, nine

- [GUESTS] Ten, nine

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GUESTS] eight, seven

[GUESTS] six, five

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GUESTS] four, three

[GUESTS] two, one.

- [BELL TOLLING]

- [GUESTS] Happy New Year!

[GUESTS CHEERING, CHATTERING]

[TOLLING CONTINUES]

[TOLLING CONTINUES, ENDS]

[KNOCKING]

[LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA] Welcome.

- [GUY, THEO GRUNTING]

- [GUESTS GASP, MURMURING]

[THEO] Stay away from her!

[SONG ENDS]

- [GUESTS MURMURING]

- [BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GUY] Happy New Year.

- He started it.

- You were throwing food.

Are we five years old?

W-What's happening?

That telegram I sent

you, it didn't go missing.

He read it and kept it from you.

[BREATHING HEAVILY] I

thought it was for me,

from my oldest friend.

I-I didn't realize it

would be so personal.

But why didn't you give it to me?

What did it say?

- I don't think we ought to

- Tell her.

You want me to?

No more secrets. You

should absolutely tell her.

- Well, I hardly re

- [THEO] Tell her!

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

I suppose it was along

the lines of [SIGHS]

"My dearest Nan "

[EXHALES DEEPLY] "My dearest Nan.

This past year, I've

learnt a lot about grief,

but recently [SIGHS] I

can't quite explain why I s

I so greatly feel the loss of you

when you were never mine to lose.

I wonder if it's because

the opposite is true.

That part of me

part of me "

- [THEO] "Has."

- " has always belonged to you."

[SCOFFS]

[STAMMERS] I suppose by that,

I meant my heart belongs to you.

[THEO] Keep going.

"And And now, because of "

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

"And now, because of my own cowardice,

I shall forever be incomplete.

We were so close, Nan. Weren't we?

But I can't rest for fear that

you thinking my walking away

at Runnymede had

anything to do with you.

I am weak. And I'm confused, but,

Nan, my love for you is neither.

But what started as

my father's stupid plan

to save the house became an entangled

mess of guilt the moment we met.

Because Nan, nothing about my feelings

for you could have been planned.

You took my breath away.

It does matter that you

were born out of wedlock

but only because it's

part of what makes you.

And you are entirely perfect.

Eternally yours, in the understanding

that you will never be mine

Guy."

You read all of that in New York?

- You'd already decided to marry me

- You knew? About my mother?

And you didn't say anything?

Yes, I Nan.

- ["HOLY MOLY" PLAYING]

- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[HONORIA] It's Richard.

[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]

- [FOOTMAN] Where to, milady?

- Pardon?

- [FOOTMAN] Where are you going?

- Could you just go?

[SIGHS]

[THEO] Nan. Stop.

- Nan. Nan.

- How could you not tell me you knew?

I told you, I told everyone

how you came into the world

doesn't matter to me.

- It's who you are I fell in love with

- It matters to me.

Didn't you think, if you were

someone I could have talked to

I've been terrified of you finding

out. I've been consumed by it.

And you've known this entire time.

I thought I was doing you a kindness.

Oh, doesn't that just

sum up our relationship?

Am I supposed to apologize

now f-for trying to be kind?

It's not kindness. It's silence.

This whole country prefers silence.

You're not some magnanimous duke

who forgave me the second you knew.

You're a secretive duke who

stewed silently for months,

never thinking it would actually

help to just say it out loud.

So now you're blaming

me for keeping secrets.

- I'm not blaming you, I was j

- It wasn't mine to speak.

What should I have done?

Confront you? Embarrass you?

Or allow you your privacy?

This was yours to either keep

or decide one day to share.

I have told the whole world that

I love you unconditionally

but I will not fight for

someone who, deep down,

doesn't want me in the same way.

Which part of what was

written in that telegram

are you really reacting to?

Hmm?

Are you in love with him?

This isn't about Guy.

This isn't about you actually

either. This is about me.

[SCOFFS] Isn't everything?

d*ck? What are you doing?

I used to come up here

when I was younger.

When I felt alone or

angry. So, often. [CHUCKLES]

I never should have brought you here.

Never should have let them near you.

Who?

My parents.

They suffocate you with their silence.

[STAMMERS] That's

That's how it's always been.

And I suppose back then

I just I just wanted some noise.

I'm so sorry about my family.

It's okay. I'm your family

now. You're stuck with me.

- Nan, I

- [NAN] Did you mean it?

Did you mean what you

said in the telegram?

Every word. [BREATHES SHAKILY]

I meant it then.

And what about now?

You chose Theo.

That's not an answer.

I moved on. I had to.

I asked Jean to marry me.

I think we could learn

to love each other.

You and I need to free

each other of this now.

[SIGHS] I'm gonna walk away now.

[SEADOWN] Jinny?

Where are you, Jinny? Jinny?

Have you seen Jinny?

Not since the bells, no.

Oh, there you are. What on

earth were you doing outside?

I was watching the fireworks.

[CHUCKLES] And how were they?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Very far away.

[GUY SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

When was the last time you did this?

- Watch you smear meat on your face?

- [CHUCKLES]

Get in a fight.

God. Not since

Henry Burton.

- [THEO] Henry Burton. [CHUCKLES]

- Henry Burton. [LAUGHS]

Still reckon I could

have taken him on my own.

Unquestionably. [CHUCKLES]

Though he was pretty

big for a 12-year-old.

Oh, he was enormous.

- Close to six foot.

- More like seven, at least.

- [CHUCKLES]

- I mean, six I could have handled.

[CHUCKLES]

You always looked out for me.

And I was wrong to send that telegram.

So wrong, and so drunk.

[SIGHS]

I should have come to

you instead, and I didn't.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye.

Your Grace.

[SIGHS]

Take good care of Nan.