01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Just a minute.
two

Hello. My name is Sophie Straw.

I enter Jim & Barbara Show.

Sophie Straw. Yes.

- Want to come in?
- Thanks.

Very good.

Clive Richardson enters.

What goes into The Awkward Squad.

How similar.

It's the first time I've been nervous.

That Sophie Straw, or whatever her name is.

I bet it doesn't.

- Den.
- Everything is fine?

... a show in Clacton.

Nor have I ever been to Clacton.

I don't know how you got it.
Doesn't know how to act.

What if I screw up?

Hi Soph.
We have some last minute changes.

We rewrote the opening scene.

Very good.

- Now...
- I can't learn all this.

Den, can we still trade her?

- What?
- They're kidding.

Creed! It's her first time.
Stop it.

Sorry, Soph. Break a leg.

Why?

No no. That's what they say
for luck.

Yes, because it's bad luck to say "good luck".

I just said "good luck".

- What if I screw up?
- Listen.

Even if you make a mistake in a speech,
i make a joke.

I say it's your first time.

Go, everyone out of Sophie's dressing room.

Not you, Sophie.

Den, what if I made a mistake?
And if I can not?

I didn't make any mistakes
and Sophie succeeds.

She's just nervous.

It's natural. You can use this.

You can use your nerves for energy.

I don't know what you're talking about, Dennis.

When in front of the audience,

It is going to be alright.

Trust in me.

It's natural. It's brilliant.

It's Sophie Straw.

There's still a roller in her hair.

Yes.

Breathe deeply.

Is ready.

Showtime.

It may expire.

In this comedy, Jim works
to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Barbara is the cleaning lady
and she comes from the North.

No.

- Just a minute.
- We need you on stage.

At three. Three!

How wonderful.

Let's try that laugh
be bigger.

Nice talk, Dennis. She won't leave.

Sophie?

I have a problem with clothes.

- What's up?
- Problem with clothing.

Imagine that your mother-in-law
blows up at a wedding.

That's right. Very good.

Now that already...

They're not here yet, Bert.

We have to postpone the recording.

Let's get to know each other...

But who does she think she is?
Shirley Bassey?

Call Polly.

- What the hell.
- No!

Sit down. Very good.

There is a man teaching me
winding wool.

I think he is telling me
to continue.

Yes, it seems
the cast continues at the bar.

Rays!

We don't have another pair.

I don't understand. It wasn't supposed to come until the week.

It's the nerves. They spoil the cycle.

- I've never used this.
- How old are you?

My Aunt Marie wouldn't let me.
Don't even ask.

- Don't you have a band-aid?
- No.

She takes off her pants and puts these on.

- Ready.
- Can I help you?

- No.
- No.

I was already counting.

She has no theater background.
She will screw up. No.

Sophie is not ready yet.

Where the hell is the talent?

All up. Let's go. When I say...

- It hurts.
- Don't stick it in the brute.

Then.

If you don't leave now, you diva,

I break down the damn door.

Let's record this.

Why are you wearing jeans?

The cast must still be at the bar.

Maybe they can tell me where they come from.

- Anyone coming from outside London?
- Yes.

The Sir is.

You didn't see the cast there, did you?

Where are they?

Ladies and gentlemen,
they came back from vacation.

Meet Dennis Mahindra, the producer.

- What the hell...?
- Sorry.

- Hello everybody.
- Hello.

We apologize for the delay.

We didn't know how to turn on the cameras.

- Want to meet the cast?
- Yes.

In the role of Jim, the rising politician,

is a man with a career
amazing on stage and screen.

His biggest role is, of course,

Captain Smythe in The Awkward Squad.

- A round of applause for the star...
- Clive Richardson!

Hi Clive.

- Who's in charge here?
- The Lord!

Excellent.

In the role of Barbara,
cleaning maid,

we present our newcomer
full of talent, Sophie Straw.

Hello.

Good luck.

Have fun.

to your positions.

Hello boys and girls.

Let's go record.

- Twelve to thirteen.
- Chamber 2.

Action.

Of course, Cicely.

She's the only woman in my life.

Jim? Can I rub it on your offal?

Cicely, please.
My boss and his wife are on their way.

I'm getting promoted and they want to meet you.

Without you, Cicely, I...

Cicely. Ci...

My God! What am I going to do?

STREAMING

PREVIEW

Image 62, chamber 3.

Let's try again.

"Hello. I'm Cicely. Nice to meet you."

Hello. My name is Cicely. Great pleasure.

No no. My name is Cicely.

Is it Cicely now? So I'm Jim?

- They won't believe it.
- What? No no.

- Can't I be myself?
- No, no way.

- You're from Liverpool.
- Blackpool.

Either way, he won't notice anything.

Maybe it's best not to talk.

It just makes noises.

Not this one.

Go to the kitchen
prepare the antipasto.

The who?

Hello.

Here she is. The hostess full of eagerness.

Rays! I mean... Damn!

Ready. To positions. We have to repeat.

We have to repeat.

He says we have to repeat.

Sorry. should have squandered
and hired an actress.

Tell Sophie Straw
not to hit the camera.

Enjoy yourself.

Just this? I'm starving.

Please. You can almost fill your mouth.

Damn the public!

They could have laughed more. It is free.

They take a while to warm up.

It doesn't take long for you to say that you laugh inside.

Didn't help Sophie
want to hit the camera.

They laughed a lot about it.

Sophie?

Den, what did Ted Sargent say?

He is not here.

used to peek
if the show goes well.

Then that's it. We're screwed.
Ted Sargent hated it.

Calm down. He didn't say anything at all.

Congratulations! You were great.

You even upstaged Clive.

It wasn't on purpose.

Thanks for saving me.

Here.

- He believes they are the future.
- Thanks.

Goodbye.

Sophie?

We're at the bar.

Sorry, Dennis. I can not stay.

Today did a good job.

Did Ted Sargent like it?

parties.

Is everything okay, Sophie?

My dad was admitted yesterday and I...

My God.

I have to catch the last train
do not go...

Do not go...

Can I do something?

Don't worry about the program.

Bon voyage.

I'll tell you how it went.

PEOPLE AND PLACES

His Highness appeared, did it?

The girl who had more to do
than to come see the dying father?

Dying?

I had a heart attack.

I already told dad I'm sorry
not have come before.

It's good that you have an excuse.

She will appear on television.

And I have a tail.

Aunt Marie, I've been working
in a television comedy.

If you had come yesterday,
missed the opportunity.

Is this another one of your stories, Barbara?

Like when you said your mother
was abducted by aliens?

Did you record the program?

Worth it?

My father is sick.
I just came to pay his bill.

Tell Mr. Parker that's on the house.

Thanks.

We could have had it all.
We were great.

King and Queen of Blackpool.

Then.

Captain Smythe was represented by...

- Clive Richardson!
- Clive Richardson!

You two and the radio.

- Marie, get some rest.
- I don't have bits.

The pension is a disgrace
after the Scottish family left.

I swear they had rabbits with them.
There was food on the floor.

I can't believe our Barbara
will appear on television.

Do you want the blanket, dad?

Yes, force. It is free.

Well, he looks a lot better.

- When does he go back to work?
- Don't come back.

He won't come back. It's a risk.

It's tough, but that's how it is.

Aunt Marie, no.

I know you think it's my fault.

It's not ideal,

but he is not well
since your mother tore it apart.

It was a big scare.

Big scare.

Come here.

I do not know what to do.

He's sick and you're gone.

I'm very busy
and I can't split myself in two.

- It's okay, Aunt Marie.
- No.

Have some tea.

My London adventure is over.

I went back.

Here.

It has many leaves, it tastes bad.

Barbarian.

Don't use those bowls, Bill.

Sorry. They are a family heirloom.

How chic. I just inherited acne.

I hope you enjoy the show, Edith.

There's nothing left to do.

The show will premiere... Now.

Why would not you like it?

Let's be honest, Edith.
Comedy is not your style.

Nonsense.
Edith has a great sense of humour.

What were you laughing at the other day?

When you said the wrong word
"embourgeoisement".

Then. Then.

Will start?

What it was?

It's a special occasion.

Cicely. Cicely, my dear, why?
What is the problem?

It's our Barbara.

Creed! My face is all d*sfigured.

Jim? Can I rub it on her offal?

It just makes noises.

Not this one.

Go to the kitchen
prepare the antipasto.

The who?

Just this? I'm starving.

Please.

You can almost fill your mouth.

I could have sworn I got more laughs.

We used the second take.
The audience is quieter.

They wore the one from when Sophie
hit the camera.

Go for a walk.
I don't need her laughs.

You have to give me this recipe.

Let's go.

It's so nice to see a young couple
so in love.

- It's your name.
- The stage name.

Very professional. Very well dear.

The kisses and hugs at the end
leave me behind.

You're not married, are you?
Jim and Barbara.

That's the point. It's modern.

Maybe we can open the good bottle.

- Let's use the celebration one.
- Good...

we should enjoy
because it must be a unique occasion.

Come what may, darling,

you made us proud.

What do you think, Den?
Ted gives us a season?

I think he will wait first
by the criticisms.

If you don't give us a program, screw it.

He's the loser.

They will give me a role in a movie
with Julie Christie.

We are trying
do something different.

Bet on us.

The episode was the bet.

We are a television channel,
we are not an experimental theater group.

Tony and Bill
they're not just writing a comedy

about a couple who fall in love.

They are challenging the norms.

They are defying, according to the press.

Reviews are weak.

Yes, but everyone agrees
regarding Sophie Straw.

"In feeble effort in all else,
etc..."

"We'll keep an eye out
on newcomer Sophie Straw."

She should have been careful
with what she did.

the first rule
is not to go against the furniture or the cameras.

Yes, but she managed to laugh.

The other actors would have cried.

It's raw,
but it builds connection with the audience.

She seems to have bonded with you.

She is a find.

Let me be the director.
I know the value of this program.

I am. 4758.

Yes.

Yes.

Recovering. Thank you, Mr. Mahindra.

Yes yes. Just a minute.

Is there?

Yes.

He is well.

I understand.

Yes.

Thanks for telling me.

All good?

It's better this way. You couldn't have continued.

I'm so sorry, dear.

Ted Sargent accepted.

What? He accepted?

We have your appointment for the week.

We could go for a walk
if you get good results.

We need more potatoes. Yes.

Listen to me, if you don't go to London right away

to make the program,

I swear I have another heart attack.

- But we need her.
- No, Marie.

-George, she can't come and go as she wants.
- Shut up.

He is well? Yes.

what needs to be done
to get me a drink?

- It's the Sophie Straw of television.
- Hello, Dennis.

It's good to see you.

Jeez, Den! Shake her arm more
to make your mouth water.

Then. Sorry.

Go. Tell me what's been going on.

Good...

We have good news.

Ted wants the first show
in six weeks.

But there is bad news.

Ted wants the first show
in six weeks.

we have the opportunity
to do something original.

- Yes.
- Yes.

We took a risk with the pilot episode.

Now we can talk
of anything we want.

- Poverty and privileges.
- Yes.

Sexual revolution, gender inequality.
Anything we want.

Just thinking about it makes my gut churn.

I need a cup.

You have to follow. Drink this.

No no. these th*gs
they don't know how to take care of a lady.

I bring you a c*ck.

Thank you, Clive.

Ready.

- What is this?
- It's whiskey.

It's good.

- Good.
- She did it.

Yes Yes Yes.

Do not forget...

My God!

- My God! Soph!
- Disgusting.

I've never seen...

Can you speak softly?

I'm kidding. My God!

I didn't know you were here.

I'm over there with the editorial team.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Robbie.

- Hello. I'm Sophie Straw.
- Edith, wife of Dennis.

- Congratulations!
- Yes. Thanks. Thank you very much.

- See you later, darling.
- Yes.

I'd say you owe me four whiskeys,

two beers and a coke

Yes, me...

It's good to be back.

Did you miss it?

It says: "The newcomer, Sophie Straw,
that looks like a mix

of Brigitte Bardot and the common girl."

Your new friend Diane
seems to think you're a star.

You didn't bring this for Diane, did you?

Is it to bite or suck?

I'd say it's a personal preference,
Marjorie.

Give me a hug.

Let me.

The first episode has to set the pace.

As Den says, it has to be original,
bold,

challenge political power
and be a satire.

Then? Have you ever written innovative comedy?

So far, Tony has a great idea.

Barbara and Jim are a couple.

- Admit it, it's a good idea.
- It will only be receiving prizes.

Here.

We made a great couple, Den.

Health!

Jim might as well be g*y.

It was a good idea, wasn't it, Tone?
The married h*m*.

Bold and original.

And Ted Sargent would fire us.

Tony's right, but it's a good idea.

Television is not ready yet.

An evening with Val Doonican!

The Old Irishman of Rock
do you want to spend the night with me?

He is 36 years old. Don't be conceited.

An Evening with Val Doonican

it's just the tv show
most successful in issue.

And they want you to go there.

They have a great comedy idea.

Val doesn't understand anything he says

for being from Blackpool.

And Sophie makes fun of him
because of the Irish accent.

Do we make fun of our accents?

Yes.

Bill and Tony would say
which is cheap comedy.

Tell that to Peter Sellers.

While they write a season,

I will plan your next step.

Listen to this idea.

We can tackle a topic

with which many are faced
on the wedding night, but that is not spoken of.

- Constipation?
- No, Tony. Sex.

It's not what most people do.
so they are alone?

Damn! You're already revealing yourself, Den.

What do you think, Tony?

Barbara and Jim are married,
but they didn't have sex.

Will it be realistic?

Bill.

maybe one of them
have a psychological problem.

There's been talk of frigid women, Bill.

I don't think it's the woman
who has the problem.

Interesting. Start writing, Tony.

Listen.

I don't say this to many of my
girls, but there are career heights

when the tide turns and pulls you mercilessly

to her destiny, stardom.

It happened to me and Patsy,

although to a lesser extent, of course.

Now it's happening to you.

Keep the sails in the wind and cross your fingers.

Hopefully it just got the green light.

Green light!

Green light.

Until the end.

Honey, Diane Lewis called.

He wants to interview her again.

I like Diane a lot,

but i don't know what else to say
to Cherry magazine.

She no longer works at Cherry,
she works at Nova.

They promote it as "a new style
magazine for a new style of woman."

What's wrong with old style women?

Forward. Diane wants to take you shopping.

Yes, a relaxed setting,
of "two girls having fun".

With a photographer.

Can you buy a dress
to the Val Doonican.

Can I accept? Patsy, call Val.

Yes, fine.

Is this where you worked?

My mother shops here.

- Beard.
- Marj!

- This is my roommate, Marjorie.
- Hello.

Marj, this is the photographer, Ari, and Diane.

It's great to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.

Equally. I won't shake your hand.

No no.
I've been touching feet all day.

They smell like sewage.

Let's go.

Hello. Hello.

Yes, it's her.

Hello? Excuse me.

What's going on here?

What are you doing here?

You have to go to work.

Madam, may I help you?

Mrs. Sykes. How long.

I see you didn't remove the badger.

How am I?

Perfect.

You half-baked exhibitionist.
Give it here.

I mean it.

Give it here.

- Remove the...
- What are you going to do? Say goodbye?

No!

He arrives. Security! Security.

What are you doing?

Don't touch...

So what interviews do you do now?

Divorce, careers, orgasms.

Damn!

this is very advanced
for a girl from Blackpool.

If you were an ordinary girl from Blackpool,

you would still be there.

This is it? For the Val Doonican Show tomorrow?

Yes. Excellent.

Your grandma would love it.

Try this.

It is better.

Diane!

It's all made with glitter.

I was more covered
with feathers at the Whiskey Cat Club.

Go there.

I dare you.

our next guest
enchanted the public

in a comedy, on paper
from the beautiful Barbara of Blackpool.

Give it up for the lovely Sophie Straw.

I'll get gas.

Sardines.

I think they're just fancy mullets.

- I bought them at a delicatessen.
- Where?

New hair, chic mullets,
wine instead of tea.

- No. You changed.
- You're right. I really changed.

Give it up for the lovely Sophie Straw.

Let's go.

Sophie, meet Mr. Magic.

- Hello.
- What a cutie.

My God!
Couldn't afford the rest of the dress?

I am a magician,
but it will take a miracle

keep that dress in place.

It'll be fine as long as I don't sneeze.

Does anyone have pepper? Pepper? Salt?

It's already peppered enough.

He guesses.

I'm interviewing Jacob Bronowski.

Vernon won't let go of me
comThe Identity of Man.

Then.

Sorry.

It doesn't matter. Go back to your dumb blonde
on the TV show.

She's not stupid, actually.

And she's not blonde, actually.

Today we have special guests.

Roy Target and Chuffy.

Low blow.

Sorry.

It doesn't even look like you.

I don't usually feel threatened.

No!

Fan Mail.

Got fan mail?

A letter.

When I represented Diana Dors,
she received full bags every day.

Damn!

By the way, Mr. Magic called, honey.

was very impressed with you
noVal Doonican Show.

He also impressed me.

His breath smelled like eggnog.

He loved hanging out with you.

No.

All good. Let's decline politely.

There must be more young stars

wanting to go to the Vaults of St. James.

I hear it's the best disco.

Maybe check my schedule.

Put on the sunglasses. You will go blind.

Jimmy, rock.

Sorry, not on the list.

I'm Mr. Magic.

It's not on the list.

- It usually works.
- Johnny.

Johnny! Johnny!

Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!

- My God! Sophie!
- Diane!

I don't know what list this is,
but we are not there.

- Ron, honey. They are with me.
- Yes.

Do you give me this honor?

Of course, I came up with the trick
of the missing bra.

I remove it only with the power of my mind.

Want a demo?

If you have a dress.

Hello.

Who's that?

Johnny.

He's drunk, but he wants to say hello.

Then.

Hello. Sorry.

- ba*ls!
- Everything is fine. Excuse me.

Hello dear.

- We have already met?
- I don't think so, dear.

I saw you dancing with your grandfather.

- What did he say? What did you say?
- That you can dance.

Then. And that's good?

- Yes.
- It is good. Thanks.

It's Mr. Television Magic.

Then it should make itself disappear.

- Back to 1952.
- Choose a card.

We're all going to a party.
Leave him and come with me.

- I should be in bed by now.
- I have something to wake you up.

Don't tell me what the letter is.
I cover my eyes.

Smells.

No. Sorry.

Hell!

- What the hell are you doing?
- Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go.

And how why...

Show your magic wand.

It will bug.

- Let's go.
- No.

Very good.

Why?

Sorry I'm late.
I caught a jump on a hatch.

She never disappoints.

Congratulations on the Doonican program!

Congratulations, Soph!

- Hello, Sophie.
- Hello, Dennis.

What the hell, Clive?

Don't you know you smell the script?

Hancock did the same
to rate the comedy level.

- You smell weird.
- Go away.

It's Brut by Faberge.

More cheating, from the toilet.

I think you smell good.

- Are you five?
- Yes, you have to go take a nap.

- Why don't we start?
- Yes.

Ready.

Episode one, Private Problems.

Take a kick. Very good. We have the revelation.

And I shake my head.

Could be more... It has to be dramatic.

Not in the face.

It is good?

The door is not serious.

- Jeez!
- Ready.

I am fine.

Very good.

Then Barbara and Jim are in bed

and come out from under the sheets.

"Flaccid like spaghetti."?
You mean that...

Will you say I'm powerless?

We are implying...

Barbara is sexually experienced.

- Is it troublesome, Soph?
- What the hell!

My father, Aunt Marie
and the neighbors will be watching.

Explain to your family
that the program is not real.

I don't think they understand
because Barbara is from Blackpool

and i'm from blackpool
and her name is Barbara

and my name is Barbara.

It's confuse.

AND.

Is her name Barbara?

It called.

- What? When?
- When?

Until the day they met me.

Why didn't I say anything?
when did we call the character Barbara?

I didn't know I could.

Sorry. Sorry dear.

Can we stop and talk about me for a second?

we are saying
that I can't lift it?

Now it's you. Jim is not real.

Yes, Jim can't lift it.

- Have I ever lifted it?
- In our universe, no.

Ready. So am I a virgin?

Nobody will believe.

Look at me. Then?

Hell! That should be on your tombstone.

"Clive Richardson,
Too handsome to be a virgin."

your character
have a psychological block.

I can sue you for this.

Slander, insult. Must give.

I was going to court just to see that.

We want it to be real for the audience.

Many couples have problems.

- I don't have.
- But it's not you, it's Jim.

Perhaps Beard will be upset
and think it's her fault.

No, this is much more realistic.

- Thanks.
- Why would it be her fault?

she is not responsible
for your hydraulic failure.

Creed!
Is that what hydraulic failure means?

He has problems with the doorknob.

It's from the head. It's psychological.

- I like. It's modern.
- Of course you do.

You don't have erectile dysfunction.

I like that Jim is upset.

Show you are not afraid
to show emotions.

I think it is...

... sensual in a man.

AND?

What happens next?
He cannot remain limp.

What's the solution?

With my ex, it was potatoes and an egg.

Ready. Let's deal with it.

You can go to lunch. Pay for production.

Tony and Bill,
back to the typewriter.

May I, dear?

Yes.

I heard about this restaurant.

Isn't Mick Jagger coming over here?

Perhaps. Never noticed.

I can't believe they let us in.

Thanks.

When I went to the disco with Mr. magic,

were not interested
and he's a familiar face.

It's another known hoax.

Thanks.

Actually, he's not Clive Richardson.

I'm kidding.

Don't look, but it's there
to Terence Stamp and The Shrimp.

My God! She is beautiful.

It didn't do too badly in the department either.
of beauty.

Nor Clive.

Therefore...

We were watching the sunset
and the boat rocked.

Really was...

Let's toast to the television lovebirds.

- Thank you, Mario.
- Thanks.

Health, dear!

Put it down.

Delicious.

It seems that everyone looks at us,
Sophie Straw.

What if we give them something to talk about?

Follow my cue.

You know Sophie...

I've never met anyone like Sophie.

Northern?

- Who's in charge here?
- You.

I hope there are no complaints.

You won't mistake Clive for poor Jim
and his limp spaghetti.

No way.

What do you think others will say?

They don't have to know this.

Dennis doesn't like it very much
of contacts between the cast.

In what sense?

No. It was just something I heard.

Jim!

My God!

I think I preferred hydraulic failure.

- I can't keep up.
- I'll accompany you both.

I'm imagining?

The chemistry today is very good.

They ate each other.