01x07 - Sort Of Miracle

[bunniefuu]

She's in the ICU.

Our dad wants us to see her.
Sabi thinks it's too soon.

Well, what do you want to do?

I hate hospitals.

I know. Cos of your cousin Samir,
who's an exquisite rebel.

Your face.

Oh, my God. It finally happened.

Like, Mum just saw me in makeup.

Mum and I are never gonna
talk again, are we?

Nope.

How does it
make you feel to think of your mum

not being conscious?

Am I, like, a bad person?

Cos I haven't cried about her yet?

— Sorry. I'm sorry. Just one second.

I just have to...
— Totally cool.

At 1am?

You need to stop telling yourself

how badly this family needs you!

I could be living in Berlin
right now but I'm not.

Dad's not around. You can start
thinking your own thoughts now.

Just talk to Sabi.

Are you just getting here?

Only if you're not leaving?

I know you said you weren't
able to take on more hours.

I... I found room in my schedule.

How can I talk to him
if he won't answer phone?

Live your life.

This fridge is so full, it's obscene.

7ven likes to be prepped
for a party.

So much papaya and watercress?

Yeah. Oh, my God.
That's her mum.

She's, like, obsessed with anti-aging.

Every lightbulb in this house
is a flattering 2,700 Kelvin.

Even the one in the fridge.

It works. You look amazing.

When they said they wanted me
to move to Toronto

I'm a Noogler, by the way.

What's that?

New hires at Google.

First, I was like, "Yas, Googs!

Canada is like America
after a ton of therapy.

I want to go there."

But let me tell you, people have sticks
very far up their asses here.

I'm so lonely!

I'm gonna masturbate myself
to death.

Yeah. I mean, it's...
it's rough out here

for the divergent, for sure.

For, like, relationships
but also just, like, basic friendship.

What race are you?

What's that look for?

Um, no,
that just was kind of very direct.

Most people are always
just like, "Where are you from?"

My parents came here
from Pakistan.

I was born here.

My race is brown.

Do your parents know
that you're trans?

♪ Tidal wave ♪ ♪ Tidal wave ♪

♪ Tidal wave ♪ ♪ Tidal wave ♪

♪ Tidal wave ♪ ♪ Tidal wave ♪

Everything is pretty much
the same is what I'm saying.

She... she should be improving by now.

Well, there are no shoulds. OK?

There's just so much
that we don't know.

But there are things
that we do know.

The longer she remains in coma,
the worst the prognosis becomes.

Look, I'm sorry,
but I gotta take this call.

Thanks, robot-doctor.

Well, if it isn't Sleeping Beauty!

Sorry. Sleeping Beauty.
Bad reference, considering...

Is Mum OK?

I mean, yeah.

You OK?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Do you want a cup of cappuccino?

I don't want you to take this
in the wrong way

but do you even know
how to make a cup of cappuccino?

YouTube does.

♪ These machines beep, beep ♪

♪ Darlin', you sleep, sleep ♪

♪ I say I'm OK ♪

♪ But it feel deep, deep ♪

♪ I don't like to cry
but you make me weep, weep ♪

♪ I ain't even gonna lie,
I'm playing for keep keeps ♪

Frothed milk,
now I'm gonna put the frothed milk...

It looks very beautiful.
Italian cappuccino.

That's actually good.

So...

it's been 28 days.
I should probably go visit her.

OK. Well, of course.

Um...
— Can Sabi take me?

Sure, but... why... why do you feel
that I can't take you?

Well...

Uh...

My therapist said you find it hard

to let me have bad feelings
COSs you love me.

So you try to have
the bad feelings for me

before I get the chance to.

Therapists aren't always right,
you know?

I say that as a therapist.

That's pretty confusing
since you're the one

that made me go to therapy.

School made you go to therapy,
I...

I'm not arguing with you today.

Great. So you'll call Sabi?

My parents don't "know" know

but they know.

Like, I mean, I kind of don't even know.

My dad just kind of looks at me
like his soul is crushed, you know?

Mm-hmm.

My mum, like, she's kind of trying.

Like, last night I got
this weird voicemail from her

saying, "Live your life."

Girl, that's definitely trying.

Hey, did you, um...

Did you always know
you wanted to transition?

I regret nothing.

And I lost nothing that I miss

not my folks,
not feeling safe at night.

Not even the male privilege.

Sabi, we're not so different
than everyone else, you know.

We happen,
like everything happens.

Partly because of how we're made

and partly because of
whatever forces are acting on us.

Everything in the galaxy
is one thing

becoming another thing and...

every person
is constantly growing

into another version
of themselves

into another and another.

We're all in transition.

It's the most natural thing
in the world.

Just don't skip
your hormone pills.

That feels very unnatural.

You're cutting a lot of bread.

Buongiorno, amici!

I'm so hungry.
- Oh, me too.

Look at all this food...

The people in your life
who are going to love you

they're gonna love you anyways.

So much sexual healing last night.

Marvin Gaye is dancing in his grave.

Olympia!

Ah, hello!

Hi, b*tch.
— Hi, b*tch!

Oh, hi!

It's all cool.

You look good with clothes on.

Look at this charcoot!
I could eat this thing myself, Sabi.

All me.

I helped!

She cut the cheese.

Toast?

No, no. My parents don't let me
touch the expensive stuff.

I... I brought this.
I'm an adult.

Ze booze in the morning!

Ding!

What?

OK!

How was your move?

It's going well. Yeah.
— Uh, one sec.

Trying to get settled and...

Hey.

So Mum sent me a voice message
last night saying, "Live your life."

Me too. Amazing, right?

Uh, are you drunk?

She's never remotely said
anything like that ever, Sabi

and now she's not picking up.

She's fine.

Sabi, do I ever worry about Mum?

Am I not, like, self-absorbed, Sabi
and totally self-focused?

Do I ever say "Sabi" this much?
Something is wrong!

Come get me.
We're going to Rexdale.

OK.

Are you going?

Real life has the worst timing.

This is real life, too.

Not my real life.
Here's my Lyft.

Take my number.

Ugh, couldn't get rid of
the f*ck. Sorry!

Uh, you wanna take a minute
and de-femme for Mum?

I'm good like this.

Are you sure?

Hi! You've reached Sabi.

I totally missed your call, but...

Sabi always answers.

They've had very little time
to themselves lately.

It's their day off
and we should respect that.

It's cool. I'll go another day.

Yeah, well, I hope
Mum doesn't freak out

when she sees you dressed like that.

Cos I'm telling you,
she's losing her sh*t.

She's fine, Aqsa.

She's just lonely,
and full of regret.

Aray!

I smell chicken Karahi.
All is well with the world.

I see Mum waving at me
where I should only be seeing wall.

So I'm gonna go with
all is not well.

Food?
- Yes.

Vi?

Vi, I made you hot chocolate as...

Hi, Dad.

Where are you?

I called 7ven and asked her
to take me to the hospital.

What?

You would've said no.

OK, 7ven is legally
kidnapping you right now!

He says you're kidnapping me.

Hey, Paul, what up?

Take the napkin, if you don't want
to dirty your... uh, outfit.

Thanks. It's an old dress but I love it.

Some of your old clothes
are upstairs

if you don't want to dirty it.

I'm doing touch-up on the house.

A touch-up?
- Yes!

Today I will even
be taking old clothes

and things I don't want anymore
to the mosque.

OK, cool.
Uh, there's a giant hole in the wall

and I need to talk about it.

Well, I need light and space
and open feelings in my life.

Renovations don't just happen.

Your father won't pay for it.
So it's DUI.

It's a DIY?

OK, yeah. But how?

Oh, my God.
You can't leave the wires like that.

I think the wires are
the least of our problems.

It can start a fire.

Hey, you can't leave me alone
with her. She's unhinged.

Why does he always
have to look like a randi?

That depends. What's a randi?

Is the power in the living room still on?

- Yes!
- prost*tute.

I thought a kasbi/was prost*tute.

That's Punjabi prost*tute.

- Now?
- Yes! Still on.

So I've been calling all kinds of people
"Punjabi prost*tute" for years?

Mum, what's wrong?

That was Shehraz on the phone.

He's coming here to take
the donations to the mosque.

Get your brother
to change his clothes.

He won't listen to me.

Your uncle and cousin
will be here in 20 minutes.

What about now?

Please.

Aqsa!

Hey.

Uh, I just found out
that Shehraz Uncle and Kareem

are gonna be here
like any minute

because they don't think
that Mum can carry boxes into a car.

Classic.

So maybe you wanna go change
or wash your face?

Coulda kept the wires upstairs.

Henry, where are you?

Your sister's been kidnapped!

Well, she hasn't actually
been kidnapped.

We're going to the hospital.
Where are my keys?

Where's my jacket?

Henry! Where are you?

What are you thinking about right now?

I'm worried about my dad.

Hmm.

What?

It's like you already have this role

in your family construct
as the caregiver.

And you're a kid.

Do you see
how you're like totally trained

to be caring for the male
in all of this?

Yeah.
— That's a lot of pressure there, no?

Makes me wanna scream sometimes.

You wanna scream?

I mean... maybe.

What do you wanna scream?

I don't know.
What do you wanna scream?

Uh, pretty much all the time,
I wanna scream

"f*ck everything!"

Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

Scream it. It'll feel good.

Oh my gosh, I can't.

I've never even said
the F word out loud.

OMG, Violet!
You're basically a teenager.

It's time to say "f*ck" already.

Why?

Because, babe,
it's transgressive and liberating.

f*ck.

f*ck.

Fuuuuck.

f*ck everything!

Yas, queen!
You wanna do it again?

No, absolutely not.
- OK.

You know you could charge
$100 per hour.

I have jobs.

Maybe you could have just one job?

We spent a lot of money
on your schooling.

You spent way more on Aqsa's.

Go through the boxes in your room
before your uncle and cousin come.

My mum basically, like,
never explains anything to me.

She's always just like,
"This is how it is."

And I'm like, "Great. Thanks."

Yeah. But there's value in
figuring things out for yourself, right?

But it's only with me.
She's all soft with Henry.

Explains every little thing to him.

Ah, yes.

Your mum's a feminist.

You toughen the girls
and you soften the boys.

She's hardening you up
for the world.

Cos you know
the world's gonna be tough on you.

And on top of that,
you're a mixie, like me

so sh*t's already confusing, babe.

You'll thank her one day.

You look pretty convincing.

Totally Bend It Like Beckham.

Samir was so badass.

Crazy cousin Samir.

He just did whatever he wanted.

Yeah. Including driving
while drunk and Muslim.

What? I can't be critical
because he's dead?

There are consequences
to our actions, Sabi.

I am not boy-ing up for them.

Fine. Great.

Just stay in that freshly-f*cked

afternoon-after-the-morning-after look.

Like, ugh, seriously.

You know what's gonna happen
if Shehraz Uncle sees you like this, right?

He's gonna go straight to Dad
who's gonna freak out

and take a giant sh*t
all over Mum.

You're so selfish.

Oh, I didn't realise me
getting to be me is selfish.

Why are you being
like this today?

I'm just trying to live my life.

What, are you punishing me?
I've always been there for you.

I have always covered your a*s.

Oh, yeah.
And I haven't been there for you?

All the times
you were out "studying".

That's not the same thing.
We're first-gen Paki. Lying is oxygen.

You're right.
It's not the same thing.

You had a choice to lie
about being at the library

while you were out sucking
Christiano Boccia's d*ck.

I didn't get a choice
about being me.

I did not suck Christiano Boccia's d*ck.

["Ghumar" by Falu]

As-salamu alaykum,
Shehraz Uncle.

Hey, Kareem.

They told me
you can hear our voices.

It must be so weird
being able to hear everything

but not being able to say anything...
I miss you so much.

Cos I didn't paint what I was told to...
So my teacher gave me an F.

So I took the painting outside,
and Jagger gave me a lighter.

Jagger worries me sometimes.

And then I lit it on fire.

And then...

And then the next day,
I had to stay in bed

cos I was suspended.

I thought about the time
that you and me took art class together

and then we made that...

When I'm one way, it's bad.

When I'm another way, it's bad.

Everybody just does everything.

Please, allow me.

Call a Lyft.

I'll go get our stuff.

I could have you arrested.
- Settle down, Karen.

Dad!

You're about to have
a very special moment.

You're not gonna believe it.

Call 7ven.

Christiano Boccia?

Mum...
- He was the hairy one?

Had a full beard

in grade eight.

Everyone does whatever they want.

Sabi//
I'm, like, freaking out right now!

It's the most amazing thing
I've ever seen.

She opened her eyes/

Bessy opened her eyes!

Oh, my God.
What happened now?

She opened her eyes, Sabi. Sabi!

Sabi?
- Sabi!

Yo, are you there?

Hello? Sabi?

Sabi. Sabi!

♪ Tidal wave ♪

♪ Tidal wave ♪ ♪ Tidal wave ♪

♪ Tidal wave ♪ ♪ Tidal wave ♪