Minor Leaguer (2024)

[bunniefuu]

WINNIPEG, CANADA

MARCH 3, year 1993

Most people have a hero in their childhood.

For Jake McKay, it was Teemu Selnne.

It was a wild night in Winnipeg,

when newcomer Teemu Selnne -

...broke Mike Bossy

NHL goal record.

Decisive goal

came in the third set.

Three weeks of a historic goal after,

Jake played a game of shuffleboard.

He didn't guess

that he will soon get the treasure.

Jake?

- Yeah, dad?

Guess who I saw today.

- Who?

He broke Mike Bossy's record.

- Teemu Back?

He had lunch at Teddy's Cafe.

- Really?

Really.

I have proof of that.

FOR JAKE

LET'S DO YOUR BACK

He's like on TV.

Stylish, modest and friendly.

When you become an NHL star,

i want you to be like him.

I will do that.

- I get to be proud of you.

Teemu Selnne was

undoubtedly Jake's hero.

26 years later

she got to meet that damn d*ck.

HEMEL, CALIFORNIA

Jake? Open the door!

Open now.

You have to see this. Jake?

Wake up now. You have to see this.

- Get up. There's someone at the door.

Get up!

- What the hell?

Jake, open up now.

Now wait a minute.

- I'm going to the living room. Hurry up.

Oh hell.

You won't believe this. Sit down.

- Calm down now.

This has to be a good thing.

- That's right. Don't eat that.

Why not?

- It's been there all night.

Don't, you'll get sick.

- And I won't come.

If the food is more than two hours...

- I do know.

I'm serious. - I've done this

all my life, Sniff.

You're playing with fire.

- Now show me that thing.

Leave alone. I won't show it.

When will I eat this pizza?

- No, but because of your attitude.

All right. I'm going back to sleep.

- Okay, I'll show this.

Are you ready?

- I am. I'm just really hungover.

This is an important announcement

by Winston Cage.

The Hemel Hawks owner was caught

for stealing women's underwear.

I was dismayed.

of the Old West Hockey League

as a commissioner, I threw him out.

At Hemel Hawks

now has a new owner.

One of the players of all time.

Teemu Selnne from the Hall of Fame.

If that news isn't enough,

coach bennett resigned, -

and Selnte will be

Hawks new GM and head coach.

League team owners

supported Selnte's offer.

Is this true?

- It's not a dream.

Hello.

- Hello.

Where is Jake?

- At Duke's horse farm.

What is he doing there?

- Work. He's a ring.

That b*stard. He said he would play

let it go - He does that too.

Jake McKay, Hemel Hawks captain.

Most goals in the club.

You said he's at work

on the farm. So which one is he?

He's there in the offseason.

No one gets rich on OWL.

In OWL?

- in the Old West Hockey League.

Did you knock on the door?

- Yes, I'm Jake's best friend.

I'm in charge of the ladle team's equipment.

Do you want an omelette?

- I don't. Gotta go.

Tell Jake that if he comes

To Phoenix, so give me a call.

Jake was at the farm for nine years

and worked hard every day.

Now he could only think about it,

that Teemu would buy the Hawks.

The whole town was talking about it. People

sent messages and called.

Even Duke,

who didn't even like the puddle.

What do season tickets cost?

The name of the drink at the barn bar

was Mandarin Teemu.

Sniff read everything he could

About Finnish Flash.

A couple of weeks before training camp

came a message. Teemu wanted to meet.

Jake had often driven to the hall,

but now it felt different.

She would meet a man who

had worshiped since he was a little boy.

RESERVED FOR FINNISH FLASH

Teemu Selnne. 684 goals in the NHL.

773 goal assists.

And an ego the size of Finland.

Mr. Back, Jake McKay.

- Nice to meet you.

Call me Teemu.

Everyone has to do that.

It's fine.

He is incredible.

- Right?

Very nice.

He wants to be called Teemu.

He takes a quick shower. See you.

- Great.

People think they know me

but I am much more.

I was really good at ice ball when I was young.

It's like field hockey on ice.

Brett Hull aka Golden Brett.

741 goals in the NHL.

650 goal assists.

One of the most colorful personalities

in sports.

Teemu Selnne and Brett Hull

were anything but friends.

The dispute had continued

decades, -

and Hully was happy to

to be a thorn in Teemu's side.

The most important match of the year,

and we don't have a goalkeeper.

That's why I took the gear. Ice ball goal

is four times larger.

It's time to be sloppy.

- What the hell are you doing here?

This brings to mind your character.

Dreary and boring as hell.

Who is that?

- Coach Dunn. A true legend.

20 years in the league, Hemel Hawks

the first coach. His office.

It takes three months.

Then you replace that with your own.

He is rumored to have a huge

portrait of himself in the bedroom.

It's not true.

- Yes it is.

Brett Hull.

- Jake McKay.

How long have you known that d*ck?

I guess he already told about his ice ball career.

He wants to buy the team because

i did that. Hell impersonator.

Where is Paul? You were nothing without

him. - Not you without Oates.

What the hell is that?

- My Hemel Hawks Nodding Doll.

20 cents. Double your d*ck

and 180 centimeters shorter than my statue.

Really fun. You don't get Barons.

- Me and the commissioner are friends.

I'm ten steps ahead

and he likes me.

I'll meet that clown tomorrow.

Did you think I came for you?

His father was much better

player, so is Uncle Dennis.

Good luck to this shithead.

- Greetings to Buffalo, cheater.

Damn, what a bummer. Satan.

Where did I end up?

You told me about the ice ball and that

that you are going to put the equipment on.

I'll tell you the rest later.

Hello? What's up JR? Wait a minute.

It was nice to meet you.

- Likewise.

Come on, JR. Or wait a little longer.

One more thing. You have to take

new number. Kasi is booked.

Who has it?

- I'll call you.

Me.

- Do you play too?

No, but Imagine Hemel Hawks

shirt number 8, Selnne.

A clever sales gimmick.

I came up with it in the middle of the night.

I've always used that number.

- Not interested. Kasi is booked.

Dial a new number.

You have to do it for Teemu.

What an as*h*le! He took my number.

Why? - I'll tell you later.

I need to calm down.

I felt like slapping him.

- It's still smart.

Backless shirt

would sell really well.

Can't believe you met

Brett Hullin and Teemu Selnten.

You should have taken a selfie.

I'm glad I own it

the team. Hemel is a great place.

I am also the head coach and GM.

It's not about me though,

but about the team.

About fans and hockey.

Sure, that egomaniac too.

What do you think Jake?

- A shirt?

I bought it online.

- That's fine.

Okay? I think it's wonderful.

- Don't put it to work though.

They think you're a fan.

- I am like that.

Just think,

if Teemu sees me here.

A good first impression

can only be done once.

Crazy, I heard rumours,

that you buy a team from OWL.

Want to sh**t that rumor down?

I bid on the Fresno Barons.

- It can't be true.

When Teemu bought Hemel Hawks,

I couldn't resist the temptation.

Have you settled your dispute?

- We don't, he hates me.

I buy a team,

so I can smoke him.

Why does he hate you?

Maybe because he didn't

86 goals in one season.

Maybe because I won

twice the Stanley Cup.

Deep down he still knows

that he was nothing -

without the help of Paul Kariya.

PK was not in Winnipeg,

when he scored 76 goals.

He still had Tie Dom.

If anyone went near him,

got a kick out of Tie.

If Tie Dom hadn't existed,

he would have scored 25-26 goals.

That's damn fun.

- Will the hatred continue?

Who knows? That defeats me

Finnish. He's a real a*s.

You yourself are a donkey.

You will never get Barons.

Nice shirt.

The moment had finally come.

It was Finnish Flash,

who apparently liked admirers.

I'm also good at tennis. Roger

Federer never beat me.

In 2015, I pinned him

In front of 15,000 people.

Crazy.

- I guess I ended up in the wrong sport.

In 2006, I was voted out

Finland's sexiest man.

It was crazy.

I was suddenly the George Clooney of Finland.

I'm hard at singing karaoke.

In 2013

I participated in the World Championships in Finland.

I sang "Let It Be" by the Beatles

and the crowd went crazy.

Really? I wish I had been there.

I also like stunts. I jumped

over three exploding buses on TV.

Beyond belief.

- I can still smell that smoke.

You won't believe this.

- What?

Teemu and I got on well.

- Really?

He immediately liked my shirt.

It made a good first impression.

We talked for a couple of hours.

He's an interesting guy.

A couple of hours?

- Yes, in his office.

He wants to play tennis with you.

- What? When?

At eight in the morning, Mayor Rayn

in the old home he rented.

What the hell?

Damn fool. Sniff!

Sniff? He's talking sh*t.

- Who?

Teemuhan said

having beaten Federer.

He didn't win.

They played doubles.

Those buses were cars.

You can watch the video on YouTube.

Maybe he's exaggerating a bit.

- How about this then?

He said he attended

to the Karaoke World Championships.

in Finland in 2013.

There's just one problem.

He wasn't there.

- How do you know that?

The World Cup was

November 21 - 23.

He played in Anaheim on the 22nd.

How could he be both?

Maybe he got the year wrong.

- Not guaranteed.

Did he get voted out

Finland's sexiest?

Yes.

- So it was true.

Yeah, but he's not

no George Clooney.

Hell.

If someone had told me

as a little boy in Finland, -

that I would have such a career,

it would have been hard to believe.

I didn't want anything else

like playing craps.

Teemu?

what are you doing

- I watch porn.

Don't try. You look at your star moments.

- I'm not, I swear it.

Then it had to be again

Your Hall of Fame speech.

Someone Jake came

and wants to play tennis with you.

Say I'll be in five minutes

get. - It's fine.

Come on, Jake.

This ends 6 - 0, 6 - 0.

6 - 0, 6 - 0. That's what I said.

Still a good match.

If I were you, I'd take some lessons.

It would be good for your game.

Still keep working. See you in the hall.

Shove it!

- What did you say?

I said smell like sh*t.

You were my hero.

I grew up in Winnipeg.

Dad got me your name.

Had to be like Teemu.

Giving pacifiers and kissing babies.

It was just a show.

You're not modest.

I know why you bought the Hawks.

You want everyone to have a good time.

I don't mind anyone, especially not

kind of self-centered.

You are also a liar. You said no

Roger Federer could beat you.

You know how easy it is

check it out? It was a doubles match.

Are you really stupid?

I don't understand what's going on in your head.

I can't stand that stuff

about exploding buses.

I saw that video. You've watched it

probably a million times.

They were cars.

You are a liar and a pretender.

Now comes the best part.

You sang and participated

to the Karaoke World Championships.

What are you talking about?

It was in Finland in 2013.

That went wrong too. You were playing

in Anaheim against the Lightning.

And you didn't score that night.

That's what you're trying to do,

even a minor leaguer.

You can be sure of that.

f*cking...

It didn't happen.

Jake just imagined it.

See you in the hall.

Winston Cage.

Commissioner of the Old West Hockey League.

Mediocre and corrupt.

He runs the league from his home

and sometimes visits the league office.

Let's go through a couple of things

before you meet Hully.

Who bought you an expensive suit?

- You.

Who paid for your erotic massage

last week? - You.

Who bought you a trip to Cabo?

- Which trip to Cabo?

This one. Flights in first class,

five star hotel.

You just choose the days, but keep

that's the hell Hully out of the league.

Say we have old grudges.

Come up with something. Doesn't matter to me.

Can I borrow your office?

- Why?

I'll call Hully.

- That's all.

I totally understand, Cage.

- I feel bad that you came for nothing.

No problem. I took the golf club with me.

- Are you a hotel in Hemel?

No, I rented a good place.

- I hope you have a good time.

Certainly.

- That was easy.

How are you, Monica?

- Very well. It's been a while.

I just got a free trip to Cabo.

Flights in first class,

five star hotel. Are you interested?

To Cabo? Are you serious?

- Grave serious.

Oh my goodness, Winston.

That would be my dream vacation.

I think you forgot something though.

What?

- You tried to hit my sister.

The mother-in-law too.

- How did it go?

It was an easy job.

- Really?

Don't leave him out of the bills just yet.

What do you mean?

- That b*stard wants to piss me off.

Two days later

Hully left a message for Teemu.

FINNISH SHIDamn b*stard.

Now we have to continue working, mother.

I love you too.

Sorry?

- Hello.

I'm Amy, I'm in charge of ancillary products.

Sniff. I took care of the equipment.

Welcome.

Thanks. It's exciting to be here.

Nice office. are you there

- Yes, I am.

At the age of 12, I was a racket boy.

At the age of 18, I was already taking care of the equipment.

I got the name Sniff because some idiot

said I was sniffing egg sins.

I'm on four dating sites now.

Or so.

Well, see you again.

Clear. I won't do it anyway.

What?

- Sniff egg sins.

You are funny.

That's why you don't like it

to meet his heroes.

That's true.

- What are you going to do?

I guess I'll have to put up with him.

- You could ask to be sold.

I'd rather hang the squats on a nail.

Have you considered it?

- Quitting?

I don't. I tried it once.

- What happened?

It's a boring story.

- Tell me now.

I played in the East Coast League.

My NHL dreams were fading all the time.

That's when I thought I could

do something else in life.

I couldn't stand the emptiness

which I felt after the last game.

I decided to pursue the Hawks.

When I got on the team, -

I decided to keep going until someone said,

that it's time to stop.

It's been 11 years. I'm 34 now,

so I know that day is coming.

Until then, however, I am not

going nowhere.

What about when that day comes?

I guess I'll move back home.

Father has a painting company, and he

would like me to take care of it.

Hi Sniff.

- Hey, Amy.

How are you?

- Good. What about you?

Good. Do you always eat lunch here?

- Every now and then.

This is a good place. Near the ice.

My favorite food truck is always there.

- I've seen it.

I'll have to try it sometime.

- I recommend it.

See you again.

- See you.

Do you want a body that

drive women crazy? Such a body?

Abs like these? Do you want

be a mime magnet like me?

I thought you would.

Don't be losers.

Mitt will take care of you.

I can't stand that guy.

Teemu hired a new one

of the peripheral product manager. Amy's.

Amy called to ask if I was

already dialed a new number.

Have you done it?

- I don't.

I said I was

on four dating sites. - Why?

It just kind of slipped out of my mouth.

Now I regret it. He likes me

probably in desperation.

So what? you know

how many are on dating sites?

Yeah, but four?

- Don't think about it.

There aren't four of them. Just three.

In the podcast, Brett reviewed

from his arch nemesis, Teemu Selnetta.

Now Finnish Flash answers it.

Welcome, Teemu.

Thanks for the invitation.

I really appreciate this.

I heard the words of that big mouth

and I'm not at all surprised.

He's always been a low-key guy.

I remember when they had won

Stanley Cup St. in Louis.

They celebrate it as a team,

but it became the Brett Hull show.

He was celebrating the championship.

- Players and fans liked it.

may i speak

- That's all.

He thinks I'm Kade

after winning only one championship.

He should only have one too.

He fooled Buffalo in the Finals.

The NHL accepted that goal.

- Will you take his side?

No, we're just being honest.

- Or so. What about the Olympics?

Why isn't he talking about the Olympics?

Because Teemu Selnte has

the most points in the Olympics.

It infuriates him.

- I guess it's watching over him.

Are you being silly now?

- You act like a little brat.

You're a brat here.

Your program is stupid.

Obie, you say yourself

"To become an NHL defenseman".

You couldn't stand it

even one year with the Ducks, -

and when you were sold

everyone was delighted.

Vice versa. Everyone is afraid to speak

hearing the great Teemu Selnte.

That brat too. Let's stop here.

- I'll end this. I am...

What a fool, Updogg.

- It got pretty intense.

Damn your back.

Rachel, Do you like to travel?

- Yes.

Are you going to Cabo with me? First

class, five star hotel.

For how long?

- For a week.

It suits me.

- Great.

As long as you pay me a daily wage.

- The trip to Cabo is your paycheck.

Excuse me now, but if you think me

sucking your d*ck for free, you're wrong.

What is your daily wage?

- A thousand bucks.

I'll give you a discount.

Five tons for the whole week.

You said you were a doctor.

- Forget the whole thing.

Clear. Are you ready?

You paid for two legs.

I don't feel like it anymore.

I'm Gary Bettman, from hockey

CEO of a professional league.

Where did you find him?

- Through some Hollywood agent.

What if that Cage isn't there?

- Yes, he is.

Every day at 2 in Nunu's.

In all weathers.

Sniff? Sorry.

Didn't mean to scare you.

Hi, Amy.

- Hello.

Is there anything I can do to help?

- Maybe.

I'm like a fish on dry land.

Bill and Carol are really nice.

However, they only talk about the puddle,

and I don't understand anything about it.

I've watched it a bit

on TV, that's all.

In a job interview

Teemu said it doesn't matter.

He started talking about something else

of the species in Finland. - About ice ball.

Right, that was it.

- He was really good at ice ball.

Apparently.

I want to learn more about hockey.

Would you ever have

a couple of hours?

You could teach me the basics.

I'm pissed, Jake!

- Now what?

Amy wants to know more about the puddle

and asked me for help.

So what?

- I have to go to him.

Come along. I can't do it.

When I am two good-looking girls

with, I freeze, I talk all the time -

or i start sweating like anything.

She's just a girl, Sniff.

- Hey, Larry. How is it going?

Very well, Jake.

You have to get laid.

Hi, Tammy.

- What do you want?

I got a trip to Cabo. The first one

class tickets, five-star hotel.

I thought I'd ask if you'd like to

- Why don't you take that wh*re with you?

It wasn't... Or it was.

Boo! Fall back to New York,

Bettman!

The way I was welcomed

welcome back to vegas...

We mute the sound.

Bring me a rum cola.

- All right.

I'm a big fan, Mr. Bettman.

- Go to hell.

I'm serious. I am

Commissioner of the Old West Hockey League.

Go sit down.

- Thank you.

I get booed everywhere.

Even my grandchildren do it.

That is wrong, Mr. Bettman.

- Just say GB.

When my name is said...

- One rum cola.

what is your name

- Cat.

How do you do.

- I'll come to visit later.

That would work for me.

- Me too.

What are you doing here?

- It's a long story.

Winston Cage, right?

- I can't believe you know me.

I didn't even know

before I heard your podcast.

Are you listening to it?

- Yes, and it made an impression.

Hey, idiot. You're a b*stard.

Can you hear me, that d*ck too?

can you hear

g*dd*mn shithead. Satan!

That guy is not a fan of slop.

Earlier he yelled at the waiter.

can you hear

The next day it was

audition. - Great.

I wear sunglasses, but sometimes

some b*stard recognizes me.

Sad job, GB. - Canadians

still sad because of Hamilton.

It's still a small price to pay.

I get ten million a year.

That doesn't even include the gifts.

- Do you donate?

Illicitly. Mainly from the owners.

The wife and I have been traveling

at their expense.

It belongs to this species.

What is the Old West Hockey League?

Something wild. Teemu Selnne

just bought this club.

When a football legend buys a team,

the league gets publicity.

I updated the NHL with one.

Now you just need another one.

What do you mean?

- Another legend.

Put them against each other.

Preferably someone Teemu doesn't like.

I have been striving for it.

- Of course. You're already ahead of me.

Brett Hull.

- Damn good.

They hate each other.

- Exactly.

She's just a girl, Sniff.

Just a girl.

She's just a girl.

Just a girl. Now.

I can't do this.

JAKE: YOU CAN DO IHi Sniff.

- Hey, Amy.

It's nice here.

- Grandma is proud of it.

He was a really lonely grandfather

to die, so he asked me here.

It has worked for both.

where do you live

With Jake McKay. He defended

me when I was barked at.

He's been my best friend since

until. - Sounds like a good guy.

I am actually

on only three dating sites.

What did you just say?

- It wasn't important.

Is it too hot in here?

- No, it's just an allergy.

What are you allergic to?

- For cats.

Does it make you sweat?

- It's a rare form.

Instead of sneezing and stuff

I just sweat a lot.

We don't have a cat.

I visited my aunt on my way here,

and he has many cats.

God bless you.

Do you want to do this again sometime?

No, that's it. Never mind.

I have a question.

- Let me come.

At some point

you have to hand over the reins to others.

Whenever I think about it,

I run into the same problem.

No one can replace me.

I hadn't met you yet though.

What do you mean?

- I think you're the right man for that.

Oh sh*t. Are you serious?

- Would you be interested?

Interested? That would be my dream job.

- Good. The matter is then agreed.

Don't the owners decide who...

- The owners are here.

They eat out of my hand.

If I choose Cager,

Cager is chosen.

Still treat Brett Hull. I want to

show the owners your cunning.

Agreed.

- This is going well.

HULLY: YOUR TURN

One more thing.

Everything discussed here remains confidential.

My lips are sealed.

- Good.

I give you

my secret number in Los.

Call if you start to doubt.

Otherwise I don't want to

to hear anything from you.

We can't be friends.

This should not look like favoritism.

I totally understand, GB.

- Miss is waiting.

Is it a good a*s?

- You won't be disappointed.

Gotta go, Cager. The woman is waiting.

I outdid myself this time.

- That's true. Credit goes to you.

Now. I'm done.

Clear. What is a limpet?

- Ice hockey.

Yes. What is a mill?

Fight in hockey.

Continue this sentence.

"McKay pulls an uppercut..."

"To which the heather belongs."

What is camping?

How did the argument with Teemu start?

From the 1993 all-star match.

- What happened?

A Finn with sensitive skin

didn't get the joke.

We were in the locker room, and JR

had put a mouse in his bag.

When he opened the bag,

he was jumping out of his skin.

Everyone laughed at it,

coaches too.

Gretzky and Yzerman were too

great, that he might be angry with them, -

so he looked straight at me

and said, "It was you."

It's been Brett Hull ever since

against Teemu Salami.

Now. Now let's get started.

What now?

- Cage.

What did he say?

- I'll let you read it.

"Hully, I changed my mind."

"I'll organize the vote after all

your offer. Imagine this.

"Two puddle legends

and the enemy face to face."

"That would be great advertising."

"I'm setting up a Zoom meeting

with the owners for Thursday."

I only need three of them

a quarter, and they shall eat out of my hand."

"If you're still in town,

we can celebrate it. Cage."

Give it here.

- It's not true. What are you going to answer?

Thanks, Cage.

I think I'll stay here to celebrate.

You're quite the case, Hully.

- Teemu gets a f*cking stroke.

A traitor too. Get out of here!

- It's only right.

Since when have you been doing the right thing?

- From now on.

I won't take your bribes anymore.

- You're a real con, Cage.

Maybe, but I'm going national

ice hockey league commissioner.

Really fun. Winston Cage,

Commissioner of the NHL.

Are you serious?

Even the scumbag gods laugh at that.

Smell the sh*t, Teemu.

- Smell the sh*t, Cage.

g*dd*mn shithead.

Hi Sniff.

- Hello.

Thanks again for your help. I learned a lot.

- Can't take it, Amy.

Can I offer one after work?

As a thank you.

Of course.

I have to answer.

I'll text you later. Hello?

Oh sh*t.

Mother!

Mother!

Why aren't you at work?

- Did you wash my bowling shirt?

This is not your bowling night.

It still needs to be ironed.

Can you do it now?

- What's your rush?

I'm going on a date.

- On a date? I like that.

I'm happy for you.

BARN

Hi Sniff.

Yes!

This was the best day of my life, Jake.

Really?

- Amy and I went to the Barn.

We played pool and ping pong.

We are going to lunch tomorrow.

That's great. - I'll go early

to sleep so I'm fresh.

Look the part. Really good.

No termites in sight.

What can be found here?

Who is this beauty?

- My wife.

Is this a recent picture?

- It is.

I guess you like young girls.

- We are the same age.

I never would have guessed.

- Put the picture away. Did you stop?

I just admire a beautiful woman.

- He is married.

I just mean he is

good looking. - What's wrong with you?

I'm not jealous.

- What is your name?

Did you get me fired?

- Maybe.

You and your wife can have little ones

guests. It's hard to get out of them.

You don't dare do that.

- Take a look.

If that beauty leaves you,

tell him to call me.

Get lost!

- Say I'm well equipped.

Enough now.

He is an actor.

Hully gave two roles.

Was it a good a*s?

- You won't be disappointed.

That b*stard too.

Brett Hullinski.

The biggest d*ck in pest control."

Damn Hully.

He drives me crazy.

It was really fun yesterday.

- I had a good time too, Amy.

Let's go karaoke sometime.

- That would be great.

I...

- That's all.

It's just mom.

- Sure, answer.

I'll call him later.

- She's your mother.

He calls often. It's not important.

Is Sniff's mom there?

- He was baptized Eduardo.

You must be Amy.

- So he has told about me.

He told me everything about you.

How's the lunch date going?

Very well. Eduardo's

the cat allergy has not bothered me.

He is not allergic to cats.

- Right?

Our cat died last year,

and they were inseparable.

Or so.

I give the phone to him.

- I can't talk now.

I can't talk now, mom.

Gotta stop. We'll talk later.

Amy...

- You are not allergic to cats.

I'm not.

- I don't understand it.

Why did you come up with such a thing?

- I was...

What? You had a laugh at my expense.

At least you could admit it.

- Where are you going?

Back to work.

- Wait.

Everything went so well.

She was the one, Jake.

You may have known him

three days. - I just know that.

You will find someone. - Easy for you

is to say with your revolving door.

I don't have a revolving door.

- Compared to me, it is.

My door has been locked

two years.

Wake up, Hully.

- Get out of it.

You have to see this.

- Can't you see I'm sleeping?

Wake up now.

- Oh hell.

Someone posted this.

Guess who came here yesterday.

Gary Bettman.

I swear it. We talked for three hours.

- What did Bettman do in Hemel?

He didn't want to say it,

but he told wild stories.

First, the owners

anoint him profusely.

Did he say that?

- Yes. Dark money.

He's also lustful.

Stared at Kat's a*s the whole time.

Beyond belief. He feels

so honest. - It's just a backdrop.

The limo driver arranged for him

expensive wh*re.

Are you filming me?

You're picturing me, dammit.

What an idiot.

- Does this spoil everything?

How many times has it been viewed?

Nine.

- Then it's okay.

Get up, Jake.

Teemu wants to meet us.

They say he has a great idea.

- Oh sh*t.

I have a good idea Old West Hockey

- to the league's biggest opening.

Everyone is talking about it.

It is seen everywhere.

TSN, ESPN, Entertainment Tonight.

It's going to be a big deal.

Genius.

- You haven't heard the idea yet.

That's genius. Are you ready?

- Yes.

Justin Bieber night.

- I love Justin Bieber.

So a concert before the match?

- No, I'll take him with me.

To the game?

- He has played with the stars.

Imagine the hall going dark.

One figure is skating in the middle of the ice.

The light hits the Biebs.

He sings "Baby".

It will be wonderful.

Oh sh*t!

- He does it. He loves me.

Could he play in the league?

- He played well.

It was the likes of Tim Robbins

with. This is professional stuff.

I limit his playing time.

- Who are we playing against?

Yuma Saints.

- Holy Hannah's team.

It will be a miracle if he survives.

Front teeth go.

One of Hannah's lairs

take them for fun.

True, that was not a good idea.

Actually, the wife invented it.

Who even misses Justin Bieber?

I have a much better idea.

Teemu Selnne evening.

Everyone gets my nodding doll.

That's a great idea.

- How many are there?

3,000. They will come from China soon.

- That's genius.

Really genius.

Damn I'm smart.

I'm so sorry, Amy.

The truth is that...

Hello.

- Hello.

What are they for?

- To Amy. I want to apologize.

Fine, but leave out the roses.

- Why?

You don't want to say you love him.

- I love her, Jake.

Gotta go now. He left at ten

minutes ago and I guess he's already home.

Deuce.

There is no looking at the hair of a dog,

but this type is known.

He really is

smacks of arrogance.

Maybe it's because of the angles

traits or from a rich family.

His father owns

half of the center of Hemel.

You're that guy on TV.

- Yes.

"Mitt will get you in shape."

Where are you going?

- To Amy's.

Are you guys dating?

- Sort of.

How many times did you go on a date?

- Once.

Once, and you bring her roses.

What the hell kind of loser are you?

That's not very friendly.

- I'm just stating the fact.

what is your name

- Sniff.

Sniff?

- Yes.

Listen, Sniff.

He's dating me. Get lost.

How many times did you go on a date?

- None of your business.

Why did you do that? - Do you really think

that you can compete with this?

Get lost.

- Shithead.

These are for you.

- Thanks, Mitt. They are beautiful.

Is something wrong?

- I want to tell you something.

I still don't want to scare you.

- What is it about?

Some strange guy was in the front yard

on the porch. He's not coming back anymore.

What did he do?

- He said his name was Sniff.

Do you know him?

- Yes. What did he do?

You don't want to know.

- Tell me now.

He strangled the chicken.

- What does that mean?

She masturbates.

He said, "Amy, my dear Amy."

Disgusting.

what are you doing

- I'll send him a message.

AMY: YOU ARE DISGUSTING!

That defeats me.

He felt so comfortable.

He was just performing.

- Apparently.

How do you know such a pervert?

- He takes care of the equipment.

A puddle team? It's at work

then a strange atmosphere in the future.

I don't even want to think about it.

- Who was that owner?

Teemu Selnne. - Talk to him

and get the creep fired.

I don't really know.

If you decide to do it,

you have a witness. - Thank you.

Can't take it baby.

Can I call you honey?

It's a little too early for that.

Excuse me now.

No problem. We'll get to that soon.

Beyond belief.

How are you, sh**ting star?

- Oh hell. Leave me alone.

What kind of greeting is that?

- Unfriendly.

Did you hear that Cage changed his mind?

Did you talk to him?

To think.

- How do you do it?

Owners vote for me.

They like me.

I heard they hate you.

- Who said that?

His name rhymes with "sage".

- So your new best friend?

I'd like to stay, but I'm leaving

To a bar with Zane to celebrate.

Have a fun night

in your shabby shack.

I called him a b*stard,

whatever he is, -

but he is on TV

with his zigzag.

I have no chance.

- Don't underestimate yourself.

I have to face the facts.

I can't find anyone.

You can't find... You are 21 years old.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

Yes, a life full of heartbreak.

DEAR AMY

Before the vote Winston Cage

was downright excited.

That fool thought he would make it for

sure as the new commissioner of the NHL.

Finnish Flash was still sure,

that Brett's offer would not succeed.

How can you be so confident?

- I called all the owners.

Everyone loves me.

- That's great.

In the morning, he settled into a Zoom

meeting with a cigar and champagne.

Hully was right. Other owners

couldn't stand him.

Before the vote

I want to lighten my heart.

Teemu Selnne told a million

reasons vote against Hull.

None of them were good.

I kept thinking,

why would i do a favor.

He invited to play tennis and

humiliated me in front of my family.

I don't pretend to like him anymore.

Chico Blades votes yes.

Teemu called me too. He

wants to change his team name.

He did not tell the new name,

but they say it's genius.

And if I wanted to move

my own team name, -

he would be good at it.

Isn't Peelers a good name?

I own a chain of strip clubs.

Eugene Peelers votes yes.

I'm bored too

To the back.

He saw me in a hoodie,

so he offered to buy the suit.

Does he think there is no money?

Modesto Ice Cowboys vote yes.

Teemu realized

that the struggle was over.

The archenemy had won

Much to Winston Cage's delight.

Seven yes votes and one no.

Brett Andrew Hull now owns Fresno

Barons. The meeting has ended.

Oh hell.

Hello.

- Where are you?

In Teemu's office.

- He just left for lunch.

He gave me a special project.

Big changes are coming.

I'll tell you about them later.

what are you doing

- Teemu wants a big renovation.

It will be great.

The office will be twice as big.

Marble floors and large pictures

Teemu from Selnte on every wall.

It won't work. This is Coach Dunn's

office. It has historical value.

He still does it.

- Why are you taking pictures?

Everything must be sold on eBay.

He's on the move.

He puts up a big statue of himself

in front of the hall.

It is 30 centimeters higher

like a statue of Brett Hull.

He also changes the name.

Hemel Hawks is now a thing of the past.

What is the new name?

- I can't tell.

Now tell me that name. Say it!

All right. Then don't tell.

Jake.

- What?

Promise you won't say I told you.

- I won't tell him.

Hemel Flash.

- Hemel Flash.

Like Finnish Flash.

- Yes, I realized.

what did you say Let me guess.

"That's brilliant, Teemu."

I should have said "brilliant".

- Of course.

Everything he does is genius.

- That's not true.

You don't think he's doing anything wrong.

Even when... Let it be.

Just say it.

- It's fine.

11 years, Sniff. For so long

I used that number here.

I won two league championships

that number on the back.

I always wore the number with pride,

because my idol used it too.

Then he took it from me. you know

how nervous I was about that.

The next day you told me how

he was great and interesting.

I don't think he is

very interesting.

And I don't think it's smart to

change the name. It's a real ego trip.

The traditions of 45 years are being

pulled down the toilet. Holy sh*t!

Jake!

Keep up the good work, Jake.

- Ditto, Duke.

what are you doing

- I'm going home.

To Winnipeg?

- Yes.

Will you stop?

I played my last match, Sniff.

Because of me?

- No.

Because of your number?

- I would never use it again.

I can't play Hemel Flash.

Does Teemu know you're quitting?

- I'll call him when I get home.

What about your couch and

everything else? - Keep them.

I'll pay the rent until you get it

my roommate. - I don't want your sofa.

Sorry, Jake.

You were right about everything.

I don't know what I was thinking.

It's okay, Sniff.

Sorry I pissed you off.

You are the best friend I have

has been - So do you, Sniff.

You are always my best friend,

no matter where I live.

FROM AMY SNIFF

AMY: STAY AWAY FROM ME

You should have seen

the look on his face.

He was fooling around.

I had never seen one.

This damn number

has been calling me all day.

Hello?

- Mr. Cage?

A call from Bettman's attorney.

- All right.

Has he seen that video?

- Not guaranteed.

It had been viewed 17 times in the morning.

- Check it again.

Hell no.

Me and my big mouth.

Don't say anything.

Oh hell, Hully.

Over 6,000 views.

Oh Christ.

Mr. Cage?

Mr. Bettman was not at Hemel.

He does not spend time with prostit*tes

with and does not accept bribes.

I suggest you publish immediately

a public apology.

Who exactly is he calling?

GB, I know I shouldn't call.

I spoke with your lawyer about the video.

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Haven't you seen that video?

You will see it soon.

I messed up badly when I was drunk.

Winston, wait a minute.

I want to confess something.

I'm not Gary Bettman.

- What?

I'm an actor. Hully hired

me to trick you.

Excuse me now. I needed a job.

Oh sh*t.

Damn b*stard!

I cancel your Fresno Barons trade!

Can you really do that?

- Read the rules, mulkvist.

The Commissioner may dismiss the owner,

if there is evidence of fraud.

Hiring an actor

enough to fool the commissioner.

How could I have messed up?

Damn it.

It was fun for so long

as it lasted. Oh damn.

Hully was having none of it.

He just wanted to annoy Teemu.

Winston Cage

rushed to Teemu.

Do you want some good news?

- Damn right.

I gave Hully the departure passes.

- Right?

Wiggs Jr. own again

Fresno Barons.

Why?

- I had a good reason.

Great!

I thought you'd like to hear it.

Thanks to you.

- Can't take it.

There is also one bad news.

- What is it?

You can go too. You tried bribe

the Commissioner on the Cabon trip.

You can't do that.

- Read the rules, mulkvist.

I will take you to court.

You will never be able to prove it.

Flights in first class, five

star hotel. Just select the days.

Keep Hully away. say,

that we have old grudges.

Come up with something. Doesn't matter to me.

Now you are left with the puck.

Did you get it? Ice puck.

The league takes over the team.

Satan's earthworm.

What do I do now?

With 3,000 nodding dolls?

He put them up for sale online

For 20 bucks. In vain.

I heard you got a little memory

about this adventure.

My wife found this online

for 15 cents.

It says "coach Teemu".

He has never coached.

Is there anything else to expect?

- No matter what.

He's leaving

to a golf tournament in Hawaii, -

so i go there to do

his life hell.

Jake was on his way home,

when the news of Teemus spread.

Then

everything seemed to be in order.

Hi, Mitt.

- Hello, honey.

You are a cheap person.

- What are you talking about?

My grandmother has a security camera.

- What then?

Everything you said about Sniff was

a lie. Everything can be seen here.

Do you want to see it?

- Not necessarily.

That's what I thought.

Thanks again for the roses,

which you tore from his hand.

Oh hell!

Dear Amy,

sorry for lying to you.

I was sweating because I'm nervous

with beautiful girls.

Sorry I said Mitti to be

a b*stard. That was wrong. Sniff.

Hello.

- Amy.

You were right.

- In what matter?

He's a b*stard.

There is a karaoke night in the barn.

Shall we go there?

- I'd love to come.

That night about Sniff and Amy

became a couple. They still are.

Jake played two more seasons

and won his third championship.

He still didn't leave the Hawks.

New the owner wanted him as a trainer.

Duke was the owner. It was Jake's

job as long as he wanted.

The choice of assistant coach was easy.

No one knows more about the puddle.

Jake doesn't hold

a grudge against Teemu.

However, he still sometimes

dreams for beating this.

Hell of an underdog.

Damn Finn!