01x09 - My Sister the Weirdo/Turf w*r

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Watch out
'Cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while
But ♪

♪ We're back with style
So ♪

♪ Get set
To have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
And satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

[BRITTANY]
See, if I invite Bella to my party,

I have to invite
a whole new group!

Ugh!

Celebrating one's self
is so stressful!

Oh, I'm freaking out over
my oral report today.

Can we just go
over it again?

[BOTH]
No!

I'm sorry,
Jeanette,

I can't hear
it one more time!

Sorry, Jeanette!

Oh.

So, anyway, this guy is
incredible!

He drives an amazing car,
and speaks in

the coolest English
accent, ever!

Who is he?

The assignment is to do a report
on the bravest person you know.

That's what I'm
trying to do,

if you'd let me finish.

He's the bravest guy
in the entire world!

Who is he!

I told you.

He's a secret agent!

What's his name!

It's a secret!

Anyway--

That's enough!

Who's next?

Me.

[♪♪♪]

Courage comes in many farms,
uh, I mean, forms.

And in a smell
bus, oh.

No, small bus,
years ago.

[stammering]
A very brave woman. Uh, stand up and--

[bell ringing]

--and be more courage--
More courager, no, no--

Courageous. Oh.

Okay. Okay. Not horrible.

You didn't heave once!

And, and you
spoke real words.

Oh, I'm,
I'm so embarrassed.

Jeanette, do you know what
people's number one fear is?

Number one fear?

Oh, uh, probably
getting your foot

stuck under
a Ferris wheel?

No. Why would you even,
never mind, never mind.

Their number one fear
is public speaking.

Okay, what's wrong
with your sister?

Oh, well,
she was in a--

in a terrible--

Um, uh, a tree!
Tree accident!

Yeah, yeah, she fell out
a bunch of times.

And, uh, her head was all
jingled and jostled.

And, well,
it was just terrible.

Okay yeah, yeah,
that explains it.

Aw, poor thing.

[♪♪♪]

I try to help.

Um, Jeanette?

Jeanette, we know
you're in there.

[JEANETTE]
How do you know?

Uh, ‘cause we saw you
walk into your locker.

[JEANETTE]
Oh, Alvin, can you come in here?

[indistinct chipmunk chatter]

[JEANETTE]
Thank you!

What was that about?

Uh, she's embarrassed
and wants to hide.

Wants to get over her shyness,
‘cause something's coming up.

I don't know,
it's a secret.

Can't tell anyone.
And?

She asked if
I could help her.

I said I could. So,
she's coming over later.

Why did she ask
you and not me?

Don't sweat it.

It's not like
I'm better

or smarter or funnier
or more confident.

I'm sure it's nothing, ha,
just she likes me better.

But, but, why would she--
All right, calm down.

You can be
my assistant.

[ALVIN] Now you see, Jeanette,
when I walk into a room.

I want people
to notice me!

Uh, it's like I'm saying
with every footstep,

Hello! Look
at me everybody!

I am awesome!

However, this is how you
walk into a room.

[clears throat]

I said, this is how Jeanette
walks into a room!

[under breath]
Um, hi.

See the difference,
Jeanette?

You want to be
invisible.

Not there.

Hardly
noticed.

Where'd she go?

She was
never here.

I wish
I was never here.

But I'm tellin'
ya, Jeanette.

To beat this shyness,
you've got to straighten up!

Look people right
in the old eyeballs!

Hold your head up!

Walk proud!

I said,
walk proud!

And next time that little,
tiny voice inside you

wants you to hide,
you grab it and shake it!

And say, ha, oh!

No! I won't!

You're not
the boss of me!

I will take chances,

even if I have
to embarrass myself!

I will be noticed!

Hmm.

So, I want
to be noticed

even if I have
to embarrass myself.

Your new mantra,
Jeanette, is look at me!

Okay, I'll
give it a try.

Thanks, Alvin.

And Simon!

[humming]

I don't know what's
the matter with her?

She was tap dancing
on the table and then--

Has anyone else noticed how
weird Jeanette's being lately?

What a loser
right?

Shh. Her brain is
like all jumbled

from falling
out of trees.

What? Who told you that?

I am begging you!

It's just
a little lie.

Why would
you say that?

Alvin, no one's gonna

come to my party
if they think

I have a weird sister.

All right, Brittany.

I won't expose your lie,
on two conditions.

One, you leave
Jeanette alone.

Let her do
whatever she's doing.

And two, ha, ha.

You're
working for me.

[♪♪♪]

♪ It ain't that ♪

♪ It ain't that
Easy to believe in me ♪

♪ The shyest ♪

♪ The shyest girl
In all of history ♪

♪ I hide behind
A smile ♪

♪ I been here
For a while ♪

♪ But I know ♪

♪ But I know now
I got to break free ♪

♪ Break free, yeah ♪

♪ I gotta try ♪

♪ To keep my head
Held to the sky ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ How the story goes ♪

♪ I never felt
So, so alive ♪

♪ And I'm
Still standing ♪

[Jeanette
trying to rap]

♪ I want to play
The fool ♪

♪ So take that smirk
Off your face ♪

♪ If you think you're
Better playin' it safe ♪

♪ I'm makin'
Mistakes ♪

♪ With my eyes
Wide open ♪

♪ Cause it's given me
Faith in myself ♪

♪ That's what
I'm hopin' ♪

♪ So step off ♪

♪ Why do you care
What I wear? Don't scoff ♪

♪ I'll do what I want
With my hair ♪

♪ I'm gonna step out ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm done
Bein' scared ♪

♪ And takin'
All these chances ♪

♪ Is what life
Should be about ♪

♪ Uh-huh
Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Let me hear
You say yeah ♪

[bongo drumming]

♪ Okay, well, let me hear
You say h* ♪

[KID] [weakly]
h*.

Oh!

[sighing]

Uh, Brit?

Jeanette
just rapped!

Alvin,
I can't take it!

[sobbing]
I just can't take it anymore.

Aw, Brit. There, there now.

You can't hide forever.

Besides, I have got a ton
of chores for ya to do.

So c'mon, up we go.

[♪♪♪]

[screams]

Alvin, I need
to see you.

I need
another session.

Well, I could
be there, too.

Where'd you
come from?

I've been standing here,
literally, the whole time.

Thank you, thank you
so much for noticing.

[♪♪♪]

[SIMON] I have read thousands
of books on psychology

and not one of them
recommends this!

Well, that's because my book
hasn't come out yet.

Now, straighten your wig
and get out there!

All right, Jeanette,
repeat after me.

I am confident!

I am worthy!

I am enough!

[weakly]
Um, I am confident.

I am worthy?

Not with that attitude,
you're not!

Simon! Get over here

and show Jeanette what
confidence looks like!

Hmm, all right.

[♪♪♪]

[gasps]

[both grunt]

Um, uh, guys.
I'll be right back.

Carry on!

Ha, Brit, what are
you doing here?

Your homemade
blueberry pie.

[JEANETTE]
I am, um, worthy.

Is that Jeanette?

No, no, no.
Of course not!

[JEANETTE] I am confident!
That's Jeanette!

Brittany, you can't
go up there!

[gasping]

Don't tell her
I'm here!

Unh! Let me in.

Oh, hello.

I, uh, thought
I heard Jeanette.

J-Jeanette? Oh, oh.
Goodness sakes, no.

No, that was me.

[girl voice]
I am confident.

Um, okay. Well,
um, I should go.

Uh, Brittany?

No, no, no. We don't need
to talk about it.

It's not
how it looks!

[JEANETTE]
Miss Smith, could I sing

a little opera
for the class?

Why are you
torturing me?

Shh! Her brain is
all like jumbled

from falling
out of trees.

What? No.

I'm just trying to get
over my shyness.

[STUDENTS]
What?

Well, she has fallen
out of trees!

Look, whatever,
she's weird, okay?

But she's not invited
to my party.

So, uh, be at my place
at 7:00.

Whoa! Yeah!
All right!

Par-Taaay!

[♪♪♪]

Jeanette! Wait!

Your sister is like
a certified weirdo.

You were so right
not to invite your sister.

We would have
been like,

Brittany we're so
excited for your party,

and then we wouldn't
have shown up.

No! I wasn't right.

Jeanette is only sweet and
kind and good and real.

Oh, I'm
a terrible person!

Jeanette!
Jeanette!

What?

[screams and grunts]

Jeanette,
are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine.
Ha, ha.

Nothing I'm
not used to.

I'm so sorry!

It's just that you've been
acting so strange lately.

It's because
I wanted to give you

a toast tonight in front
of all of your friends

without being so nervous.

Oh.

Listen up,
everybody!

Well, everyone knows how
talented and pretty

and stylish Brittany is,
but, what they don't know

is that she has
a heart of gold

and even though
occasionally

you have to dig
to find it.

And you think, wait!

Where is it?
Just keep digging.

Keep digging and
digging and dig--

Okay, okay!
Enough digging!

'Cause it's always there.

Like a beautiful gem.

So here's to
my sister, Brittany!

Okay, that was
sorta sweet, right?

I did it!

Oh, Jeanette,
that was beautiful.

Well, I couldn't have
done it without Alvin.

Alvin?

Yeah. He coached me.

No. No. No.
No, I really didn't.

Oh, he did, did he?

Yes. Which, you know, that's
when you caught me

with the whole thing I was
trying to explain about that.

Well, it looks
like you two

have a lot of
catching up to do.

So, see ya!

Oh! Get back here,
Alvin!

Wait! Wait!
Brittany!

I just to
clear something up!

[♪♪♪]

[DAVE] ♪ Every day,
every month I think of you a-- ♪

A bunch? Bunth?
Uh! What rhymes with "month"?

[giggling] Well,
I'm sure you'll find it, Dave.

After all,
you're the genius

who rhymed "orange."

What do you want, Alvin?

Oh! Dave,
you are a mind reader!

And, heh, well,
now that you mention it,

how about an advance
on my allowance?

Isn't this, like,
the third one?

Yes. And good memory.

Didn't know
you were keeping track.

Anyway,
it's for a very noble cause

that speaks to children
around the world.

Uh-huh.

Uh, this cause wouldn't be
a certain video game

that just hit the stores,
would it?

Now that's
what I'm talking about.

You understand kids!

I'm so lucky
to have a Dad like you.

Dave, what do you say we
capture this father-son moment.

[camera clicks]

Ugh, that is not
a keeper.

I look terrible.

One-one more.
[camera clicks]

Now you look terrible.
Dave, don't make that lame face.

Alvin, please.

If you want the game,
you can work for it.

Fine. What did you have
in mind?

[♪♪♪]

[grunting]

[groans]

There has got to be
an easier job.

[♪♪♪]

There's gotta be
an easier job.

[sighs]
There's got to be an easier job!

[sighs]
You can baby-sit, like Brittany does.

She almost has enough money to
buy these fancy shoes she wants.

Oh! Baby-sitting!

Of course!
How hard could that be?

Play a few games, put the kid
to bed, shut off the light.

Bam!
Finished with the job.

Theodore,
you are a genius.

[keyboard clicking]

Uh Simon, how do you spell

“responsible and-and
conscientious”?

[giggles] Oh no. I will not be a part
of false advertising.

Please? I'm posting
my credentials

on a baby-sitting job site.

"Alvin is super responsible,

"and pretty much the coolest
dude I've ever met,

signed the President.”

Alvin.
I didn't say president of what.

Brittany just went around
the neighborhood

and-and asked people
if they needed a baby-sitter.

Hmmm. I like it.

Oh! Oh! Thank you again,
Theodore!

h*, h*! King me!

[♪♪♪]

What is that?

It's a cute little baby.

[cries]
Oops.

Oh, check this out!

[cries]

How about that?
Pretty cool huh?

It cries, I put a bottle
in its mouth,

and bingo...
it stops crying.

Um... Is this something
we should be worried about?

Yeah. Worry about me
monopolizing

the baby-sitting biz!

And this little cutie
is my ticket to success.

Yes you are.
[cries]

[doorbell rings]

[ALVIN] Hello, Sir! Do you have any
baby-sitting needs?

I'm incredibly
experienced.

[crying]
Oh! He must be hungry.

[clears throat]

Hold on, hold on.

I have his bottle here
somewhere.

Okay, all right,
little darling.

Quiet now, quiet.
I-- I just fed it, sir.

Where is your bottle? Um...
[crying continues]

Do-do you have a stick or
something to plug up this hole?

[Alvin chuckles nervously]

Any, as I was saying--

[♪♪♪]

Hello, ma--
[growls]

Nice doggy...

[screams]
[cries]

Hello, ma'am.
Do you need a baby-sitter?

[WOMAN]
Oh, yes! Yes! I do!

[crying]

Triplets? Aah!

Baby-sitter! Hah!
There's no sitting.

You're running all the time.

Who knew it would be so hard
to find work?

So where's Baby Cries a Lot?

Ugh, in somebody's bushes.
That doll was a brat.

Hey, wait a minute!

Why am I working so hard
to find customers,

when I have Brittany's!

Alvin,
that's totally unethical.

You mean
totally genius!

[phone pad beeps, phone dialing]

Is this Mrs. Sanders,
Basil's mother?

Yes, well how do you do?

Um, Brittany wanted me
to call and tell you

she won't be able
to babysit tonight.

But not to worry,
I'm available.

[doorbell rings]

I just can't believe
you stole my baby-sitting job!

Brittany, it's called
the free market system.

And anyway, I offered them
a better deal.

Okay, okay. Hear me.

Basil is very sensitive.

You have no idea
what you're dealing with.

Oh please. There isn't a kid
in the world I can't handle.

My charm is universal.

Now, please leave me.
I must prepare for my work.

Baby, sit! Sit, baby!

[groans]

[doorbell rings]

Brittany, I said that--

Oh. Ha, ha.
Hello, hello! Come on in.

Aren't you just as cute as you
can be. You must be Basil.

I'm Alvin,
your better baby-sitter.

Honey-pie,
we talked about this.

You're staying at
Alvin's house

because Mommy and Daddy thought
you'd have more fun here.

He's a little shy
at first.

We won't be long,
Precious.

Love you. Love you!
Mwah!

Where-Where's Brittany?
I-I want Brittany!

[chuckles] Well,
she's not here. But I am.

I want Brittany!

Okay. Well look, I don't
even know how to say this,

but Brittany's baby-sitting
some other kids.

But, but, you've got me.
And you know what?

Don't tell your mother, but this
is my first time baby-sitting,

so you can show me
what to do.

First time, huh?

[Brittany grunts]

Does Brittany look happy about
not getting her new shoes?

[whispers] Uh, since when does she refer
to herself in the third person?

[whispers] Only when she's really mad
and shoes are involved.

It's time I--
I mean, Brittany--

Taught Alvin a lesson.

Come on, one more!
You can do it!

[muffled dialogue]

[spits]

When I said let's have fun,
I meant both of us.

[mock crying]

All right. All right.
Easy.

Easy, what would
you like to do next?

[♪♪♪]

♪ Believe me, you can do it
And be good ♪

♪ But me, I'll be fantastic
Oh ♪

♪ There's no way that you'd be
Half as great as I am ♪

♪ You wanna bet me?
We can put it all on the line ♪

♪ Let's have a competition ♪
♪ Say who wins it ♪

♪ I will be first ♪
♪ To the finish ♪

♪ Every time
I ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ I can make the world
Stand round ♪

♪ I can do it
With my eyes closed ♪

♪ Eyes closed, eyes closed ♪

♪ I can make the sun go down ♪

♪ I can do it
With my eyes closed ♪

♪ Eyes closed, eyes closed ♪

♪ I can see that it's my time ♪

♪ I can see you
With my eyes closed ♪

♪ Eyes closed, eyes closed
Oh... ♪

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

[sighs]

[♪♪♪]

[knock on glass]

What are you doing here?

How would you like to play
a trick on Alvin?

Uh, Basil?
Where are you, you...

You adorable little...

[gasps]
Basil!

Okay, Basil this isn't funny
anymore.

Where are you?

[laughs]

Serves him right.

I've been wanting
to get back at Alvin for--

Basil? Basil?

Where are you?

Basil,
I'm going to count to three

and I want you to stop
these shenanigans!

Oh, no! I'm sounding
just like Dave.

[both scream]

What are you doing here?

Um... Just, uh...
Picking flowers.

Um, no, no...

Studying the stars...
Yeah, yeah... Oh, boy.

Okay.

If you must know,

I was getting back at you
for stealing my gig.

[door slams]

Basil!

[BASIL]
Go away! Leave me alone!

Basil! It's Brittany.
Open the door.

[dishes shattering]

He's tearing the place apart!

If Dave finds out,
I'm so grounded.

Alvin, why didn't you just ask
me if you could baby-sit Basil?

Oh, you would have let me?

Heh, no, of course not.

But-but-but-but-but-but--
Shh!

I don't hear anything.

Basil! Can you hear us?

Open the door! Are you okay?
Are you hurt?

Britt, Britt. Here's an idea.
We're chipmunks!

We can just go through
the upstairs window!

[♪♪♪]

[in unison]
Oh! How cute!

Gotcha!
Now you're my prisoners!

[BRITTANY] Basil, I understand
why you're doing this to Alvin,

but me?

I'm your favorite
baby-sitter!

You don't wanna
baby-sit me anymore!

You-You wanna baby-sit
other kids

[gasps]
That's not true! Who told you that?

[whistles]

Alvin!
Well, heh,

I might have given him
the impression that--

It's not true? You still
want to baby-sit me?

Of course I do!
You're the best!

Whew! I'm just so darn glad
were' all friends again.

Uh! That way we can,

you know, just forget
everything that happened, heh,

right?
Okay. I won't tell my parents.

[sigh]

But you have to buy Brittany
the shoes she wants

with the money
you made tonight.

You put him up to this!
Basil, um,

listen, we men have got to,
you know, stick together.

Because you know,
if I did that, well then,

I couldn't get the video game
I've been dreaming of.

And-and besides--
Mommy!

All right, all right.

One pair of shoes
coming up.

Size 6 would be perfect.
'Kay, thanks.

Kids.

Uh! Simon,
how much longer?

At the current rate,
you'll be doing chores for...

[to self]
Carry the...

[normal voice] Three months before
you can afford that video game.

Three months?

Theodore. Favorite little
brother of mine.

Uh, wanna help?

Sure.
You missed a spot.

[SIMON] Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, burn!

[both laugh]
[dish rattles]

[both scream]

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪