04x05 - "Simon Says"/Sing Like a Canary

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

{\an8}♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

OK, Theodore,
this is the key shot of our video.

[Alvin] You know what to do, right?

Yeah. We both push off,

we meet in the middle

and we exchange skateboards
in midair.

Bingo. Piece of cake.

All right, let's do this.

[Simon] Stop!

Thank goodness
I got here in time.

Huh! You sure did.
Prepare to be amazed!

OK, Theodore. Let's go!

That's not what I meant!
OK, Theodore. Come on, let's go.

Theodore, don't move!

-What are you doing?
-It's too dangerous!

But Alvin said
it was a piece of cake!

Simon, come on! Every time
I'm about to do something fun,

-you try to stop me!
-I'm just being safe!

Uh, no!
You're being paranoid and lame.

Well, I'm sorry
if you feel it's lame

to keep your brothers
from getting hurt!

Theodore, come on down.
We're going home.

Stay right where you are,
Theodore!

No. No,
I don't want to hurt myself.

Do you want to know
what your problem is?

No, but I have a suspicion
you'll tell me anyway.

Your problem is
you're always saying,

"Don't do this! Don't do that!
Life is unsafe!"

I never said, "Life is unsafe"!

No, but you did tell me

that eating raw cookie dough
was unsafe.

-Because it is unsafe!
-Oh, will you just admit it?

You always stop us
from having fun.

You're a buzzkill, pal!

Could you pass me the salt?

Oh, sure, Dave.

Oh, but wait!
What if I accidentally

spilled the salt
and got it in my eyes?

Oh, no! I can't see!

So, you'd better ask Simon,
Dave.

You know,
it might be too dangerous for me.

-Here you go, Dave.
-Uh... thanks.

[school bell rings]

Could you hold my binder?

No! Theodore, be careful!

You could accidentally drop it,

then step on the open binder clip

and cut your feet!

[screaming] Aaah!

Alvin,
you're taking this too far!

My point is,
we could get hurt doing anything!

So, you know,
we should just do nothing at all!

Come on, Theodore, let's lay
down and stare at the ceiling.

[sighs]

Hey, Simon.
I, uh, I couldn't help overhearing.

Oh, it's just Alvin being Alvin.

I just wish I could make him see
that I'm trying to protect him.

Yeah, but, you know, sometimes
the only way for people to learn

is from experience.

What do you mean?

Simon, has Alvin ever
listened to your warnings?

No.

Exactly.

Have you come up with an idea

for your Social Science
experiment yet?

I've got a few ideas,
but I haven't picked one yet.

Well, Simon,
Alvin's a perfect experiment.

Hello, this is Simon Seville.
Day one of my social experiment.

I hypothesise that without
my daily intervention...

Wait. What are they doing?

..my brothers might get into
enormous amounts of trouble

or, worse, get hurt.

Oh! Like right now!

He's actually taking dangerous
materials from my lab!

I can see you!

He can't hear me.
Just blowing off steam!

Anyway, to prove that Alvin

doesn't have as much fun
as he purports,

I'll agree
to each and every suggestion,

however ridiculous and dangerous
it might be, that he makes.

Oh... Wish me luck.

Come on, Theodore!
Race you to breakfast!

Theodore, come on.
I mean, come on, it's easy!

Yeah. Uh... OK.

Quick, quick,
before Simon stops you!

-Woo-hoo!
-What?

OK, Simon,
I totally misjudged you.

No. No. I'm good.
No... no worries.

First report.

This experiment might have been
a terrible mistake.

[Chipmunk song playing]

[screaming] Aaah!

My only hope is that,
at some point,

Alvin will say no to one
of his own harebrained ideas,

you know, realising
it's just too dangerous!

[phone rings]

Hello? What is it?
I'm right in the middle of...

Report immediately
to Fun Centre Extreme.

Fun Centre Extreme?
Where is that?

h*, h*! Our room!

I've got something awesome
to show you!

-Isn't that right, Theodore?
-Yeah! Oh, Simon!

It's his best idea ever!

Don't... don't start without me.
I'll be right there!

Well, you never know.

I mean, this might be the idea
that brings Alvin to his senses.

Look at this! This website
sells personal roller coasters

for the back yard.

How cool is that?

What irresponsible company...

was coming up with this very,
very cool idea? [clears throat]

I know! But wait...
it gets even better!

We can add
some of our own ideas!

So, I was thinking, you know,
maybe a loop the loop here

and a triple twist there...

Alvin says it's gonna blow
every roller coaster out of the sky!

Are you kidding?

I mean,
you know, why stop there?

You think we could go bigger?

Absolutely. May I?

Mmm! Cookie dough!

There. How's this?

Oh... It's perfect!

Are you nuts?

I... I mean, you wouldn't want
to make any changes?

I wouldn't change a thing, Simon.

I'm so proud of you!

You're finally learning
how to have fun!

I am not having fun.

And... and Alvin
is not learning anything!

[gasps] What is that?

Oh, nothing
but the coolest coaster ever!

Hold on. Don't tell me
you're going to ride that thing?

No, Brittany. We're just
going to sit here and admire it

and dream about riding it.

Of course we're gonna ride it!

Guys, come on! Are you ready?

Uh... Is it... is it safe?

Of course it's safe!
Simon designed it!

Yeah, well...
but I was... you know,

as I think about it now,
uh, maybe we should wait.

Why would we do that?

Well, you know...
I just thought that, you know...

we'd take a picture!

You know, the inaugural ride!

-I'll get my camera!
-I'll help you!

Dave! I think you need
to come outside! Dave?

Simon, his car's not here!
What's going on?

What's going on?
We're gonna crash and burn!

That's what's going on!

And there's no one here
to tell us to stop!

Why did I even do this?

I just figured that when he saw
the roller coaster in person,

he'd come to his senses!

[Alvin] Simon, come on, already!
Let's go!

Oh...

All right. OK. Here we go.
I've got my camera.

And... smile.

Uh, something's wrong
with your camera.

It must be the memory card.
Yeah, that's it. It's full.

I'll just go get another one.

It's OK. I have my phone with me.

Oh, great.

Let's try this again.

OK, big smiles!

-h*, h*! Are we ready?
-Ready!

Uh... Yes.

h*, h*! Then here we...

[Dave] What's going on here?

It's our very own
roller coaster, Dave.

Alvin, this doesn't look
remotely safe!

Dave, yes, it's safe, OK?
Simon designed it!

My... my tummy hurts.

It's just nerves of excitement.

Simon, is this safe?

Well, Dave.
Um, you know, there's...

There are no guarantees in life,
of course.

Life is fraught with dangers.

Simon, is it safe or not?
You designed it.

-Come on, you should know.
-Ow...

Oh, yeah. Could... you know,
could be tons... tons of fun.

OK. Well, I trust you.

Now could we please
get this thing moving?

Wait! I... I have to go!

Theodore, we are going.

No. I feel sick.

It's...
it's all that cookie dough.

Well, you're missing out!

Simon and I
are gonna have all the fun!

-Ready, set...
-Wait!

What is it now? More pictures?

It's not safe, Alvin.

I was just trying to prove
I wasn't a lame killjoy.

I designed this without thinking
it through. But it's not safe!

Simon, you're just freaking out.

You've come a long way,
but old habits die hard.

Alvin! Alvin, don't do it!
It's too dangerous!

Simon, it can't be dangerous,
because you designed it!

And I know, deep down,

you couldn't design anything
dangerous even if you tried!

My eyes were closed
half the time!

I didn't see what I was drawing!
I swear!

Your eyes were closed?
Are you crazy? Get me outta...

[screaming] Aaah!

Uh, he's not gonna
make that turn, is he?

Not in a million years!

[Alvin screaming] Aaah!

[Simon] Alvin, I'm so sorry.

I just thought at some point,
your survival instinct would kick in.

Don't blame yourself.

I don't think I have
a survival instinct to kick in.

I guess I need you for that.

But when I get out of this cast,

there is one thing I want to get
for the back yard.

It's this giant slingshot
that can sh**t a person 100 yards...

Oh, wait, no, no, even better...

There's this wave machine
I saw on the Internet that...

Wait, no, no, this is the best...

The human catapult
looked incredibly cool!

Oh...

Here you go.

Sunflower seeds.
You loved them the last time.

-Where's Theodore?
-Oh! Oh!

He's feeding this bird.
It's a real beauty.

Sorry, Simon,
but we gotta rehearse.

The concert's in two days!

Alvin! Come on! Come on!
Get down here!

[phone rings]

-Hello?
-[man] Alvin sent a list of demands!

-What?
-Did you know about this?

-No, I didn't know.
-I'm not doing it!

Yes, of course!
Don't worry. I will...

[line goes dead]

He hung up on me.

Alvin!

Did you call the promoter
and make a list of demands?

Gee, not... not that I remember.

Theodore, not you. Alvin.

Dave, we're celebrities, OK?

So I'm just trying to retain
a certain status here. OK?

I mean, every celebrity does it.
It's called a rider.

I know what it is, Alvin.
And we don't do that.

What's the big deal?

I asked that our dressing room
have a few things,

so we're more comfortable
before we perform.

Three pages of demands
is not a few things!

Dave, do I have to explain
everything to you?

It's called negotiating, OK?
Yes, I start with three pages,

but then we haggle back and forth,

we call each other some names,
and then I end up with two pages

-and he feels like a winner.
-Two full pages?

That's how I make sure
we get one!

He said you demanded
red chocolate-covered peanuts

-with a yellow "A"!
-What's wrong with that?

They make those for everybody.

Why should I be the only celebrity
without my own peanut?

Why? Because he doesn't want
to deal with you

and unless you drop these demands,
he says he's fine

if Simon and Theodore
play without you.

He's like a bad poker player.
He's bluffing!

He's got nothing.
He'll come crawling back to us.

Just call him now
and apologise.

I can't do that.

That is just the first thing
in negotiating 101, OK?

I am calling his bluff,
and trust me,

by tomorrow he'll be calling me
to apologise.

What about you guys?

Do you have any demands
I don't know about?

No, Dave. We're very excited
about the concert.

Me too!

But those chocolate-covered peanuts
sound...

Uh... sorta tasty.

-Let's rehearse.
-[singing]

Alvin, we need you
to rehearse with us today.

Has the promoter
called to apologise?

No, and he's not going to!

Dave, I can't give in now.

I've drawn a line in the sand.

If I give up now, I could never
look myself again in the mirror.

[phone rings]

Well, speak of the devil.

Before you apologise,
I just want to say all is forgiven.

[gasps] Thank you, Alvin!
Boy, I was not expecting that!

-[line goes dead]
-Wait! No! Hold it! Wait!

-Was that the promoter?
-No. It was Brittany

-and she did something...
-[phone rings]

Oh! Here comes my apology.
Hello?

Hey, Alvin.
It's Cheesy. Can I...?

-No, Cheesy!
-What? I haven't asked you yet.

Whatever it is, no!
And don't call me here today.

I'm expecting someone important!

-[phone rings]
-Oh, yes!

Third time's the charm. Hello?

-Hi, need new lawn furniture?
-No.

-OK, Alvin, time to rehearse.
-OK, perfect.

I will join you
as soon as he calls.

Simon, in case Alvin doesn't join us,
you take the lead.

[Alvin starts singing]

Well, I see that Alvin
has come to his senses.

Yeah, but... where is he?

Maybe outside?

[singing continues]

He knows the song!

-Hey, Alvin.
-Huh?

I'm giving you one more chance.

-Are you kidding me?
-The show's tomorrow night...

You'll replace me with a bird?

Yes.
I don't want to, but I will.

Her name's Lolly
and she's really good, Alvin.

OK, nice try, guys.
I call your bluff!

[Dave] OK, guys! Showtime!
Come on, Theodore, let's go!

I... I'm ready.

-Simon?
-Uh, right here, Dave!

-Alvin!
-Not going!

Where's Lolly?

In the car.

OK, Alvin.
See you after the show!

[applause and cheering]

[in the microphone] Ladies
and gentlemen, give a warm welcome

to Lolly and the Chipmunks!

Boo! Boo! Boo!

[starts singing]

Oh, really? Well, well, yes,

as a matter of fact,
I am available.

Well, tell me,
what did you have in mind?

Uh-huh? Alvin and The Crows?
Ha, ha! Well, no, no, no,

I really don't care
what kind of birds I sing with.

In a month or so, birds will be out
and lizards will be all the rage.

Yes, yes. Well, thank you.
Talk to you soon.

So, how was the concert?

It was good.

Would you please just drop
your list of demands?

h*, h*! Never!

[sighs]
All right, then. Good night.

So, are you gonna
sing with us tonight?

If our room
is filled with goodies.

Come on, Alvin.
You're being very short-sighted!

-[door bell rings]
-I'll get it!

-Alvin, are you being replaced?
-What do you think of Lolly?

-Are The Chipmunks breaking up?
-OK. OK.

-One question at a time.
-Some people speculate

you've lost your voice,
so are being replaced by Lolly.

That's ridiculous!
Listen to this.

[sings]

[Lolly joins in]

[Chipmunk song playing]

Really? The concerts
aren't the same without me?

He's pretending to be
on the phone again.

-Yeah.
-Oh, thank you, thank you.

No, OK,
now you're embarrassing me.

Thank you again.
Talk to you soon.

What are you guys
doing back so soon? No encores?

Well,
the crowd seemed very happy.

Ha, ha! Oh, they did, did they?
Well, guess what?

I'm getting my own
flock of pigeons

and creating my own band!

[groaning in his sleep]

OK, so, next, we're going
to sing a fan favourite!

And a one, and a two,
and a one, two, three.

[off-key mess]

[poops] Uh-oh!

Oh! Your bird just pooped on me!

Colin, what did I just say about
pooping on our audience?

Uh... Hmm. I'm busy...

-Oh, I know, I know.
-Don't!

I was gonna say it,
give me a second.

[squeals and squabbling]

No, no, no, no!

No. No. No. No. No.

So, guys?
Not unreasonable, right?

Wait, are you joking?

-This... this is ridiculous!
-Oh! Thank you! Thank you!

Finally someone who understands

their whole point of view
is ridiculous!

Ugh! No, no. Alvin. Alvin!
We're talking about you!

Wait. Wait a minute. Me?

I don't know how to say this,

but you come off
like an entitled brat.

Yeah,
even more than you already are.

Honestly? This is really bad!

Oh, no. Really?
Well, what am I gonna do?

The mature thing
is to just tell them you're sorry.

I mean, you know,
we all make mistakes.

No, I can't do that!

Oh, oh!
But you know what I could do?

[singing]

[phone rings]

-Hello, is this Mr Seville?
-Yes.

Well, I'm calling you
out of professional courtesy.

You see, I've just met with...
the most talented singer

of this generation
and he's looking for new...

Rep... what?

Representation!

It looks like a "W"!

Anyway, representation.
New representation.

It's Brittany.

-Oh, I see.
-But, before I sign him,

and I make him even more in...
in demand than he already is,

I thought I should give you
a chance to woo him back.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

We'd obviously love
to have him back.

Unless there are
lots of conditions, of course.

Well, yes.
He does have a list of demands.

No! No!
You've got to be kidding!

I'm not saying any of this!

Fine!
Just get me whatever you can!

OK. So what are his demands?

Water.
He'd like water in his dressing room.

But of course, nothing fancy.
Right out of the tap is fine.

Well, that's not a problem.

Well, good, good.

Then it's all settled. Bye-bye!

h*, h*, h*! I am back!

Hey, Alvin,
you ready to rehearse?

Yeah, yeah, but where's Lolly?

Oh, she just left.

Yeah, her owner saw her on the news
and took her home.

He mentioned
that he'd been away on vacation.

Turns out
Lolly's a big Chipmunk fan.

So, she knew all our songs.

Oh! So, Lolly's gone.

[chuckles]

Which means you need me
more than I thought.

-Alvin, don't start.
-I'm not starting.

I'm just saying that maybe
I should have asked for more.

-No!
-It's still a very short list.

-Let me just show you my revised list.
-Alvin!

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪