01x11 - Summer of the Baby Races/Summer of La Extraterrestre

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ opening theme music playing]

-[cat snarling]
-[dogs barking]

[singing]
♪ Hey! Another day in my old hood ♪

♪ Summer's starting
and it's gonna be so good ♪

♪ Hey, oh, hey!
I was gonna be so cool ♪

♪ Then you all moved in
and got me looking like a fool, again ♪

♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Why you all up in my face ♪

♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Get up out my space ♪

♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ You're wearing out my brain ♪

♪ You're driving me insane ♪

♪ Not the roll call again ♪

♪ Cousin Bud, Nacho and Lita ♪

♪ Tere, Tabi and Tonita ♪

♪ Scooter, Lotlot and Gordita ♪

♪ Nachito, ChaCha and Lucita ♪

-♪ Yay ♪
-[Tater] ♪ No, come on ♪

♪ Oye, Primos ♪

[grunts in frustration]

[Baby Bud cooing]

[screaming]

Aw, Tater. We're trying to relax.

If I can't relax, no one can relax.

Not until I find
my limited edition Romancimorphs shirt.

Okay, cool. I guess we'll just
[sighs] go to the kitchen.

Uh, is that your shirt?

-[accelerating sound]
-Huh?

[Bud] Hey! Come back here, Baby Bud.

-Dang, you're fast boy.
-[laughing]

I got ya. Trying to outsmart
your old man, huh?

-Is that Rodrigo?!
-[farts]

-[growling]
-[rumbling]

-[pot and lamp breaking]
-Huh?

[whispering] Whoa! Did I just
unlock my super powers?

[slurping] Nope.
It's just a minor earthquake, sis.

Aw! Okay. Wait, what was I doing?

Oh, yeah. I was getting really mad!

You two need to get it together.

You put my T-shirt on Baby Bud's butt.

We're both so sorry sweetie.

Your dad made an honest mistake.

Yeah. I didn't even know it was a shirt.

Why would anyone wanna wear
something like this?

You're not helping your case.

Why'd you even run out of diapers?

Dang! Tater's getting salty
with the elders.

Silencio ninos.

[in Spanish] Normalmente,

[in English] I would not
let you talk to your parents like that.

[speaking Spanish]

Uh, that means I'm right, right?

Whoa! There he goes.

Uh, what is going on?

[in English] It's time for you to learn
about the secret history of our familia.

The Fresadena baby races!

Every year, Fresadena has a race
to determine the fastest baby.

I always hoped
one of my children would be el campeon

and win a lifetime supply of diapers.

But none of my babies
ever won [speaking Spanish].

[in English] Some did not even
finish the carrera.

Ma! Why did you keep records of this?

[in Spanish]

We need to strategize.

No, our racing days are over.

The truth is,
it doesn't matter if we enter.

Those Fresadena babies will
always beat Hacienda Hills babies.

They win because they cheat.

-Well, they still win, Mom.
-Where is your hometown pride?

Maybe it's in that book of yours.

Come back here, chuckle Bud.

[cooing and laughing]

That's it! We should enter
Baby Bud into the race.

He's the fastest baby there is.

He'll prove Hacienda Hills
is worthy of respect.

Have you been listening at all?

Yeah. Hate to burst your bubble, sis.
But, um... boop!

All the racers are gonna be
boujee babies from across the crevasse.

Yeah. Check out
this Fresadena influencer mom.

She's popped out three winning babies.

I mean, yeah, sure.
But we've got something to prove.

You may be fine with living
in Fresadena's shadow, but not I!

And I know just the team
to help me train Baby Bud.

Primos! Assemble!

[wind blowing]

[Big Nacho speaking Spanish]

Hey, primos, I need your help.

Sorry. We're busy waiting for Hector.

[bell ringing]

-[all] Yay!
-[Big Nacho] Andale.

-[speaking Spanish] Mango.
-[licking]

[Buela humming]

[sighs, moans and grunts]

Que pasa, mija?

I need a ride to Fresadena
to scope out the racetrack.

I would do it, mija.

But I know it's frowned upon to drive

with an expired license.

[speaking Spanish]

[clears throat and continues in Spanish]

Ay, Mama.
Is your old back injury acting up again?

Si, mi jita.

You know what would help?
A massage at the Fresadena Mall.

Oh, yeah. There's a spa next
to the art store that's having a sale.

[tires screeching]

[bell ringing]

[traffic honking]

[birds chirping]

[car pulls up and brakes]

Ohhh. It looks like everyone's
training for race day already.

Let's do a little recon, Baby Bud.

See? Beneath that cashmere onesie,
is just a regular baby.

-[blows whistle]
-[♪ upbeat music playing]

[baby cooing]

These babies
look harder to beat than I expected.

No racing talk.

We're only here
for art bargains and massage chairs.

Bargain hunting?

[scoffs] Must be
from Blah-cienda Hills.

[both laughing]

Ugh. Snobs.

What's her problem?

Well, some people
just think they're better

than everyone else. Ooh!

-[baby cooing]
-[gasps]

I'm so glad that's not
your nanny, sweetie.

Did she say you're his nanny?

What did she mean by that?

That's a good question, Tater.

Looks like it's time
for a teachable moment.

Excuse me. You really shouldn't make
assumptions about people you don't know.

But since you did, this is my baby.

Not all Latinas are nannies.

You two look nothing alike.
How was I supposed to know?

That's why you shouldn't assume.

Yes, my baby has his father's complexion
and propensity for sunburn,

but he's got my zero tolerance
policy for bull pucky.

And we're smelling
a big pile of it right here.

[speaking Spanish and laughing]

This is my family.

And we may not have all the resources
you have, but we have our pride.

And we'll be proudly waving at you

from the winner's circle on race day.

-All right!
-Yeah!

-Whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-We're gonna race!

-Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
-Yeah!

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Tater] You should have seen it.

Bibi mic-dropped those snobs.

Dang. Who knew tia Bibi
could dunk on people like that?

Ooh! I'd like to show them.

We can.

All we have to do
is get Baby Bud to win the baby race.

-Anything for tia Bibi.
-[all] Oh, yeah!

Primos! Assemble!

[all talking]

[♪ uplifting music playing]

[Baby Bud grunting]

[cooing]

[grunting]

-[yawning]
-[♪ music distorts]

I might need your help, mija.

Because Baby Bud's energy levels
are depleting far too swiftly?

Si. He can nap when he's Pop's age.

-[speaking Spanish] He has to--
-Win.

-Baby Formula 1, coming up.
-[poof]

[Chad] It's a beautiful day
for a baby race.

I'm your host, Chad Gasser.

I'm joined by crawling champion,
Binky Bradshaw.

-[laughing]
-[mic feedback]

You ain't kidding.

-Goal!
-Goal!

[camera shutter clicking]

Hmph!

-Hmph!
-[grunting]

Make way, champion coming through.

-[both women] Hmph.
-That's my mom.

-[cooing]
-It's all up to you, Baby Bud.

Hacienda Hills is counting on you.

[blows raspberry]

Got the goods?

Here it is. Baby Formula 1.

Made of all-natural
baby-safe ingredients.

Then why is it glowing?

Vitamins.

[Chad] All right, babies.

Put down those rattles,
it's time to skedaddle.

-Ready.
-[engines revving]

-Set!
-[engines revving]

-[airhorn blows]
-Go!

And they're off!

No surprises here
as racer number three takes the lead.

But could there be an upset here today?

[cheering]

[panting]

[Chad] Oh, no. Racer number five
has just discovered her foot.

The downfall of many a baby.

-Your thoughts, Binky?
-[farts]

Binky, we're live.

Over here, Baby Bud.

-[laughing]
-[Tater] It's your favorite show.

[cooing then grunts]

[Chad] Whoa! We have
a baby powder blowout folks.

There is no coming back from that.

Hold on. Number four
continues to pull ahead.

[cheering]

Show 'em that Hacienda Hills heat.

[farts then poops]

Oh, no. He's carrying too much weight.

-Let's go pit crew!
-[both] Hmm!

-Racer number three pulls ahead.
-[tires screeching]

Oh! And he gets distracted
by a toy diversion.

How do you feel, little guy?

I feel... [yawning]

Uh-oh. It's getting close to nap time.

They should put
some spring in his crawl.

Huh? No!

We're trying to prove we're winners,
not cheaters.

I don't know.
Maybe it's the only way to finally win?

Si. And they cheat, too.

This isn't cheating, it's vitamins.

There's always another way.
Look at this clearly.

[cooing and laughing]

[laughing]

[cooing and blows raspberry]

[cooing]

No! He's not supposed
to have screen time.

[cooing]

[Chad] Aw! Number three
took his first steps.

-Sadly, this is a crawling race.
-[cooing]

[Chad in a deep voice] Disqualified!

-[cheering]
-[♪ uplifting music plays]

[in normal voice]
History will be made today,

when the tiny Haciendan
crosses the finish line.

[Baby Bud cooing]

[♪ music distorts]

[yawning]

-[all gasp]
-[all] No, no, no!

Will there be a winner today?

Binky, what do you make of this?

[sucking]

[Baby Bud cooing and snoring]

[speaking Spanish]

[in English] What are we doing?

We really got carried away.
I don't know what came over us.

I do.

Family, we lost ourselves
in the competition.

We were trying to prove that the place
we're from is worthy of being respected.

But for me, the proof is right here.

Look at us. Our family sticks together,

works hard
and are great examples of our community.

Our babies don't need to win
to prove they're from somewhere great.

The truth is, we never needed
to compete in the first place.

Our great city of Hacienda Hills
has nothing to prove!

-[rumbling]
-[woman] Earthquake!

-[screaming]
-Duck and cover!

Sheesh.
It's just a small one, everybody.

[speaking Spanish]

[snoring and cooing]

-We won! Hacienda Hills is the best!
-[cheering]

Take that, Fresadena!

-[cheering]
-Um, excuse me.

-Oh!
-[splash]

[burps]

[cooing]

-[gasps]
-Whoa!

-Yahoo!
-[Baby Bud cooing]

-[Bibi] Ah!
-[Tater] Ooh!

[ChaCha] Cha Cha Cha Cha
Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha.

Ha! How's that?

We have optimal TV watching views.

[laughing]

Chop, chop, sobrinos.

We don't wanna be late
for your dental appointments.

Aw, tia Bibi.

You can't rush our
"going to the dentist" looks.

-[all] Selfie!
-[camera clicks]

Eight, nine, ten, eleven.
Twelve primos out of the house!

Au revoir.

Wish I could join the fun,
but I just got new bands on my braces

so no more checkups for [singing] weeks.

[angelic choir] Ah!

Whoa!

Which means today
is one of those rare wondrous days

where I get the TV all to myself.

Bye bye, Cake Island
and hello, Kung Fu Bustle.

[women on TV harmonizing]

-[both] Ha! Hyah!
-[bell dings]

Thrills, frills and kung fu skills.

-Cha Cha!
-[screams]

Oh!

Argh! ChaCha.

-[growling and grunting]
-I told you,

-I don't wanna... [grunting]
-[growling and grunting]

[sighs] ...play with you.

Ugh. Drool.

Shoo! Shoo! There you go.
Off to the dentist with you.

Well, actually, since ChaCha
takes such great care of her chompers,

she's not due for a checkup, either.

-[grins]
-[screams]

So, that's why you're going
to babysit her today, Tater.

But I can't babysit this toddler.
I have stuff to do... solo.

Pfft! [laughs] Oh, [in Spanish]

[in English] You slay me.
You were never staying home alone.

-Wha-wha?!
-[thud]

[grunting] Hola, [in Spanish] Tater.

Pop's gonna be doing
some work in the backyard

and he'll be keeping
an eye on you girls.

You don't spend much time
one on one with ChaCha [in Spanish]

[in Spanish] I bet you and ChaCha

have more in common than you think.

[Tater grunts]

Mom thinks I have something
in common with her.

[grunting]

Yeah, I don't see it.

You know who wants to spend
more time with you today? Pop.

There, there, young tita.

Mmm-hmm. Whoa!

-How did you get back here so fast?
-Cha Cha.

For the 100th time.

My name is Tater.

-Ta-ter!
-[gnawing]

-[channel switches]
-[TV reporter] Aliens on Earth.

Ugh. ChaCha, you changed the channel.
Uh, come back!

Now I'm stuck with some boring
alien show all day. [sighs]

[TV reporter] Today, on Aliens on Earth.

Even you'll be a believer.

[scoffs] Yeah, right.

If aliens had visited Earth,
then we would have proof.

Aliens have visited Earth,
and we have proof.

After contact with the Mayans,
these aliens made a pit stop for snacks

in an insignificant,
middle of nowhere desert town.

Hey, that looks like Hacienda Hills.

[TV reporter] This stink town,

where dreams go to die,
wouldn't matter at all,

-if not for these alien images we found.
-Cha Cha.

ChaCha, get down!

You're blocking
the phony alien pictures.

Hmm? Oh, Cha Cha.

Wha-wha-what?

The resemblance is uncanny.

Cha Cha.

I mean, yeah, ChaCha's a little weird,

but she can't be an extraterrestrial.
Can she?

Think someone in your family
is actually an extraterrestrial?

Maybe a cousin?

-Huh?
-Huh?

Then get your pen and paper ready

because we have
the three surefire ways to prove

your loved one is actually
an extraterrestrial.

-Take notes.
-Uh, okay.

[TV reporter] Crop circles.
High speed of evolution. [echoing]

Can command robots. [echoing]

Okay. Notes taken.

Now to see if ChaCha
checks the boxes. [laughs]

Cha Cha Cha Cha. Cha Cha Cha Cha.

ChaCha sure digs a lot of tunnels.

Wait a minute.

She's digging a crop circle.

That's proof number one. [gasps]

Phew. Cha Cha.

[laughs suspiciously]

[grunting and growling]

[Tater] I wonder what she's looking for.

Hmm? [growling]

-[both gasp]
-Purple alien mouth.

She's evolving. That's proof number two.

Martians can evolve
more quickly than humans.

-[Tater] Hmm?
-[ChaCha] Cha Cha...

-Cha Cha Cha Cha.
-[snarling]

Huh. Communicating with animals
isn't proof.

That's something even I can do.

But then again,
if she was talking to robots.

-[vacuum turn on]
-[gasps]

Cha Cha Cha Cha.

Hey! Stop that!

[smacks and grunts] Cha Cha.

Cha Cha. Hmm!

[gasps] She commands robots,
which is proof number three.

And that settles it.
ChaCha is an extraterrestrial.

[screams] This is gonna be so fun.

[extraterrestrial sounds]

[♪ Tater singing]

♪ Imagine all of the things
that I'll see, yeah ♪

♪ With an extraterrestrial for a prima ♪

♪ The rings of Saturn,
pyramids of Mars ♪

♪ Light years away
as we're flying through the stars ♪

♪ You got a spaceship, I'm driving ♪

♪ Intergalactic trip, but we're riding ♪

♪ Now, picturing how ♪

♪ The tiny humans on Earth
are gonna all bow down ♪

-♪ Cha Cha ♪
-♪ When we return,

-♪ They're gonna throw us a parade ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

♪ The paparazzi's
gonna be singing our names ♪

♪ Like, ChaCha, Tater,
tell us all about space ♪

♪ We're writing a book about it
so you'll all just have to wait ♪

-♪ Cha Cha ♪
-♪ Number one on the bestseller list ♪

-♪ Cha Cha ♪
-♪ Hollywood makes a movie about it ♪

♪ And now we're famous,
driving fancy cars ♪

♪ Yeah, there's ocean all around us
and we're shining like stars ♪

-♪ Blast off, three, two, one ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

-♪ Cosmos here we come ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

-♪ We're not wasting one ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

♪ Moment in the sun ♪

-♪ We're ready to take flight ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

-♪ Stardom in our eyes ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

-♪ Climbing higher and higher ♪
-♪ Cha Cha ♪

♪ On our meteoric rise! ♪

Wow, you love costumes
as much as me, ChaCha.

Hmm? [gags]

Whoa. [laughs] Even if it's
just to chew on them.

Cha Cha.

Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha.

Aw!

Okay, I think we're red carpet ready.

But before that, there's something
I should probably show you, prima.

ChaCha, it turns out,
you have another family.

-Look.
-Hmm?

They command robots like you,
evolve like you.

They even make crop circles
just like you.

Warning!
Crop circles can be used as signals

for Martians to find each other.

[both gasp]

Uh, not to be that tiger,
but do you think ChaCha

has been signaling other Martians
because you wouldn't play with her?

'Cause I do.

-[sighs]
-[TV reporter] And worse,

crop circles are also how government
scientists find extraterrestrials.

These nefarious research th*gs are
always looking for aliens to capture.

Once they get their hands on them,

[whispering] they're never
to be seen again.

[gasps] Don't worry, ChaCha.

-That's not gonna happen to you. Never.
-[vehicle honking]

Oh, no. It's happening.
The nerd th*gs are here.

Huh? They're gonna invade
the house to get ChaCha!

[Tater panting]

[groans]

Hmm? [grunts softly]

-[groans] Cha Cha!
-[vehicle accelerating]

No! ChaCha, if I had just
hung out with you

you wouldn't have made
the crop circle signal

and the scientists
wouldn't have found you.

My family can't lose ChaCha
because of me.

Don't worry, ChaCha. I'll protect you.

We're getting that book deal.

Cha Cha!

-Cha Cha.
-[Tater laughs]

Let's give hazmat suit guy
a proper welcome to casa Humphrey.

Time for a spit slide. [shouts]

Ooh! Ooh, ooh.

Enjoy the slide!

-[laughs]
-Cha Cha.

Ew. Blech.

You want ChaCha, hazmat suit guy?

Then good luck getting past
Lotlot's cake boyfriends

and Big Nacho's stinkiest socks.

Boo. Ya. Ba-bam!

Cha Cha!

Huh? [groans]

Yes!

Ooh! Lolot needs boyfriends
with better heads on their shoulders.

Ha! Zing!

[gasps]

Hazmat suit guy brought reinforcements.

He's using the poor captured
aliens against us.

[aliens groaning]

Cha Cha!

Great idea, ChaCha.

It's time to release the robots!

[snarling]

[aliens groaning] Huh?

[yelps] They foiled the robots.

Hurry, retreat. Retreat!

-[Tater panting]
-Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha.

ChaCha, we can't just
hide in the closet.

They're coming for you.

-[gasps]
-Cha Cha!

Whoa!

-Did you make this?
-ChaCha ChaCha Cha.

You thought of everything.
Truly a girl after my own heart.

-[motor revving]
-[♪ upbeat music playing]

[shouting] Yes, we made it.

Ah, Pop would have loved that.

[gasps]

We forgot about Pop. We gotta warn him.

It's too late!

Hazmat suit guy's got Pop!

-Launch me ChaCha.
-Cha Cha.

Cha Cha Cha Cha, Cha Cha Cha Cha.

[accelerating]

Get your stinking hands off my Pop!

-[kisses]
-[groaning]

Hmph!

[speaking Spanish]
Those besitos were not for you.

Wait, what?

Buela, why are you
wearing a hazmat suit?

I just got back
from my beekeeping class.

You know I gotta get
some honey for my honey.

Meow!

[shrieks] Gross.

Wait. So we've been
keeping you out this whole time.

Does that mean ChaCha
isn't an extraterrestrial?

But what about
all that proof I collected?

Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha.

[grunts]

[laughs]

Hmm, hmm.

[laughs] Cha Cha Cha Cha!

[sighs] Hmm.

Okay.

Um, I may have
let my imagination run a little wild.

I'm sorry I thought you were a Martian.

But you gotta admit
the signs pointed to yes.

ChaCha.

But I'm even sorrier that I missed

the really important stuff about you.

You're brave, you're independent

and you live your life
outside of the box.

-And you're a really good friend.
-Cha Cha.

We really do have a lot more
in common than I thought.

-Don't tell Bibi.
-Cha Cha Cha Cha.

I love you, Tater.

Whoa! Did you just call me Cha--
I mean, Tater?

Tater.

You did. That's amazing, ChaCha.

[both laughing]

How could I have ever thought
you were a Martian?

[all] Tater! Tater!

-Real Martians!
-Cha Cha Cha Cha.

[painfully] Tater.

We're back from the dentist.
And we've got a new record.

Two hundred and eighty-five cavities.

-[groaning]
-[thud]