01x18 - Summer of Gwenship/Summer of Heart Eyes

[bunniefuu]

[♪ opening theme music playing]

[dogs bark]

[singing]
♪ Hey! Another day In my old hood ♪

♪ Summer's starting
And it's gonna be so good ♪

♪ Hey, oh, hey!
I was gonna be so cool ♪

♪ Then you all moved in
and got me looking like a fool, again ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Why you all up in my face ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ Get up out my space ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

♪ You're wearing out my brain ♪

♪ You're driving me insane ♪

♪ Not the roll call again ♪

♪ Cousin Bud, Nacho and Lita ♪

♪ Tere, Tabi and Tonita ♪

♪ Scooter, Lotlot and Gordita ♪

♪ Nachito, ChaCha and Lucita ♪

-[chorus] ♪ Yay ♪
-[Tater] ♪ No, come on ♪

[chorus] ♪ Oye, Primos ♪

[groans]

[Tater] Summer of Gwenship.

Hmm...

[groans]

Curse this this face of mine.

It's hard being so dang adorable.

[Bibi] Tater, you've got a visitor.

Serena! Help me with my face!

Whoa.

Your face?

That's a lost cause.

[gasps]

[beeping noises]

Um, Gwennifer,
why don't you try that again?

Why is she here to see you?

Make no loud sounds
or sudden movements, and she'll go away.

-[Bibi] She's pretty firmly planted.
-[crowing noise]

Maybe she's trying to bury the hatchet.

Hatchet? She's got a hatchet?

I meant, maybe, she's trying
to put the past behind you.

Friends with Gwennifer?
Hardest pass in the universe.

Well, she isn't her little brother.

The Skid is a thorn in my side.

But Gwennifer is pure evil.

Remember when I tried out
for the pigeon scouts?

[screams]

[Bibi] A little rough, but not too bad.

[Tater] Zoom out.

-[screaming]
-[Gwennifer laughing]

Okay, that's bad.

But maybe she wants to make up for it.

And shouldn't your final form
be above childhood grudges?

Curse my journey of personal growth.

But you're right.
She might be all about peace.

[announcer] Tater achieves world peace.

Ah, Diploma-Tater.

These pretzels are stale.

Híjole. She's in the house,

Humphrey, we're hanging out.

Well, you two have fun today.

Blink twice if you need any help.

What's wrong with your eyes?

Come on, let's go play.

Oh. And the back door
was like that when I got here.

[monkey screeches]

No puede ser.

World peace, hija!

World peace, Mom!

Oh, you're such a nerd.

[man] ♪ Diplomacy ♪

[Tater] Let's play a board game.

Do I have to play this with you?

-[object shatters]
-Where are your cousins?

Please don't flick the pieces.

-Now, first, you...
-Give me that!

-Hey!
-Yeah. Just tell me how I win.

I was about to tell you. [grunts]

A two! Snake eyes.

[grunts] I win.

-Good game.
-[man] ♪ Diplomacy ♪

So, Gwen... Can I call you Gwen?

-No.
-Gwennifer.

Did you ever think of your final form
and wonder what would she wear?

Well, wonder no more.

Feast your eyes on my costume collection.
Go on. Pick one.

Are you insulting the sash?

[shudders] No. I thought it'd be fun

to dress up and use our imagination.

This will look really good on you.

[gasps, laughing nervously]

Let me out of here!

[man] [in shaky voice] ♪ Diplomacy ♪

[TV announcer] Previously on
Kung Fu Bustle...

While you were flirting with a duke,
I studied the nunchuck.

[grunts, groans]

[laughs]

Lord Nunchucks is a total loser.

[gasps] That's
Lord Nun-Charles Esquire to you.

Only his friends
get to call him Nunchucks.

Losers don't have friends. Exhibit A.

[groans softly]

While you were studying
those stupid nunchucks,

I studied the heart.

[sobbing]

[smooching noises]

[groans] Why are we watching this junk?

[groaning]

That's it! No more Diploma-Tater!

You've crossed all my boundaries,
even my TV ones.

It's like you like being mean to me.

Well, it's because I do.

See, I even earned a badge in it.

♪ Do you know that feeling
of a perfect sunny day? ♪

♪ Well, that's the feeling that I get ♪

♪ When I tell the kids they can't play ♪

♪ Your butterflies
My poison spiders ♪

♪ Your rainbows
My haze ♪

♪ You're a technicolor dream ♪

♪ And I'm a nightmare of black and gray ♪

♪ It feels so, so good to be just ♪

♪ A little bit bad ♪

♪ And I don't know why that I don't ♪

♪ Wanna obey ♪

♪ And I got all this animosity ♪

♪ It keeps on pouring out of me ♪

♪ I don't know why but I'm just ♪

♪ A little bit, a little bit bad ♪

♪ I like thunder
I like lightning ♪

♪ I like evil
I like frightening ♪

♪ I like chaos and confusion ♪

♪ I'm the master of abusing ♪

♪ Everyone around ♪

♪ So if you want to know the truth ♪

♪ It's that I found ♪

♪ That it feels so, so good to be just ♪

♪ A little bit bad ♪

♪ And I don't know why,
but I don't wanna obey ♪

♪ And I got all this animosity ♪

♪ It keeps on pouring out of me ♪

♪ I don't know why but I'm just ♪

♪ A little bit, a little bit bad ♪

[chuckling evilly]

Disturbing.

Tater Gator.

[gasps] Ooh. Lord Nunchucks!
I love that guy.

[chuckling] Lord Nunchucks is so fun.

So, so fun.

Just like me.
I'm so fun and also pretty. [chuckling]

Oh. Hey there, stranger-fam.

[groaning]

[laughs] Right on.

-Uh, Gwennifer?
-Must be where he touched...

[sniffling] Mm... I'm Gwennifer no more.

Now, I'm stranger-fam.

Wait a minute. Nicknames.
Weird, obsessive fawning.

-[sighs]
-Laughing too hard,

blushing, thinking... [gasps]

-I have a crush on your cousin.
-You've a crush on my cousin!

[yelps] What? How? Why?

It all started that fateful day last week.

[chuckles evilly]

-[Cousin Bud] You are so beautiful today.
-Mm?

Mm?

[gasps] B-beautiful? M-me?

[Cousin Bud] The most wonderful flower
in all the gardens in all the world.

[swooning] Say more,

sweet barefoot prince.

[trumpets blaring]

Ha-ha! Gwennifer, the gwoss!

-[laughing boisterously]
-[blows whistle]

[grunting]

And I thought you wanted to be friends.

Get real, Humphrey.

I just wanted to use you

to get closer to Budlington.

His name is Cousin Bud.

Oh, I intend to become
more than just buds with him.

But I could never talk to him before.

So, I used you.

And it worked! [chuckles]
Now, I'm closer to Budlington...

[sniffs, sighs]

...than ever. [sniffing vigorously]

[chuckles]

I perceive a weakness.

So, Gwennifer thinks she can
make a fool out of me,

then steal the heart of one of my kin?

This aggression will not stand, man.

So, we have revenge!

I'll have Gwennifer throw
the most expensive, environmentally evil

grand gesture of love of all time.

It'll be everything he can't stand.

He'll hate it. And ergo, hate her.
[chuckles evilly]

[Cousin Bud] Suboptimal, man.

I can tell you what you must do

to win fair Bud's heart.

But you must do exactly what I say.

[man] ♪ Sweet revenge ♪

[gasps] Have I stumbled into
a romance wonderland?

Energy-wasting electrics,
air pollution, imprisoned birds.

And the coup d'etat,

giant Styrofoam sculpture of CB!

[chuckles] Yes.

He's gonna hate it.

Everything's coming up Tater. [yelps]

[roars]

[screams] Ooh, double scare.

It's not a real lion, dummy.

You said he loves fur coats,
but I couldn't find a real one.

And Humphrey, I just wanted
to say something to you.

[whimpering]

I know I'm usually mean,

but you were able
to look beyond it and help me.

So... [inhales, straining] Thank you.

This means a lot to me.

Wow, I don't know what to say.

Peons! That's not the way to confetti,
a confetti cannon.

She thanked me for the help.

What am I doing,
standing in the way of love?

This isn't like me.

-Gwennifer might be a monster...
-[speaks indistinctly]

...but no one deserves to be humiliated.

If my final form is all about peace,

then maybe I should start

with Gwennifer and Cousin Bud.

[groans] I guess I'm not meant to be bad.

I'm gonna have to stop this
on my own, I guess.

-[pigeons vocalizing]
-Fly away, birdies!

Be free! [groans]

[both yelp]

What's going on?

Are you trying to sabotage me?

[spits] Actually, I was.

All of this was just a plan
to make Cousin Bud hate you.

He doesn't like any of this stuff.

I'm sorry.

You played me.

I'm furious. [shudders]

But also, I didn't know you had it in you.

Respect.

Well, now that you know the truth,
here's the real plan.

The best way all romances begin

-is with a simple "Hello."
-[growls]

Trust me. Please.

[sighs] You're really bad at being bad.

I know.

[Gwennifer whimpering]

Oh, hey, there again.

[grunts] No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Gwennifer squealing]

[in shaky voice] Uh, hello. I'm Gwennifer.

Oh, Gwennifer. Here.

Have a guava, Gwennifer.

[chuckles] I love guavas.

Gwen, you did it. Up top!

-Nah!
-Wha... That was a gift.

Ugh. This was a waste of time.

I'm over him. He's too nice.

[strains] It's sickening.

But... But...

And if you ever breathe
a word of this to anyone,

you're dead!

Huh. My knees aren't knocking.

My tummy isn't shaking.

What are you talking about?

I'm not afraid of you anymore. [grunts]

Maybe, one day,
we might even become real friends.

[hisses]

Bye! We should get together some time.

[groans]

[fawning]

[trumpet blares]

[Bibi] Summer of Heart Eyes.

[♪ furious rock riff playing]

Yes!

Child prodigy would be an epic final form.

Mozart, Yo-Yo Ma, Tater Ramirez Humphrey.

[gentle strumming, twang]

Ooh. I hope Lita's guitar lessons
can expedite my skills.

Ah! Luckily,
today is our prima bonding time,

and according to Lita's schedule,
she's off work.

We'll spend the whole day together.
[chuckles]

Lita? Lita!

-[Big Nacho grunting]
-Finish him.

It's like her arm is made of steel.

[in robotic voice] Titanium.
Resistance is futile.

Large Nacho.

[Big Nacho screams]

Hey, people! Where is Lita?

She's gonna miss our bonding time.

Lita's missing? We better act fast.

The first 48 hours are the most important.

She's not missing.
She looked for Quakey's earlier.

Buzzkill.

But it's her day off.

And I that boring that
she prefers work over Tater time?

-[sobbing]
-Um, no.

Hmm. Instead of asking useless questions,

why not properly utilize
Lita's nuclear fam?

[in robotic voice] Ask her siblings.

Oh, right. [laughs] Her siblings.

-Necesitas algo, Tater?
-No, but I do need something, Lucita.

Have you two noticed
anything strange with Lita lately?

Hmm. She has been giggling
on the phone a lot.

Sí. And not only is she always at work,
she actually shows up early.

We need to get to the bottom of this
before my whole day of music

and movies with Lita is messed up.

Time for a trip to Quakey's!

These aren't real binoculars.
They're just my hands.

Just as we thought.

She's in her civilian clothes.

-Who's that?
-Oh, I know them.

That's Alex, Lita's co-worker.

So, Lita abandoned me for a co-worker?

-[Lucita] They look more like amigas.
-Friends? But I'm her prima.

[gasps] What have
they got that I ain't got?

Must get closer. BRB.

All right, Lucita.
Remember, you're a grown up now.

And action.

Sorry I'm late.

I threw my back out
as I was doing my taxes.

I'm between two names for my board,

-Skatey Perry or Shreddy Mercury.
-[laughs]

Shreddy Mercury?

I've never made Lita laugh like that.

Bueno, Lita.
Where did we leave off yesterday?

Es tu turno. So, truth or dare.

Uh, dare.

I dare you to jam on stage with me.

Okay. But I should warn you,
it's like I have two left hands.

It's okay. Yo te enseño.

[gasps]

-[gentle strum]
-That was E minor,

but it's actually majorly easy.

[laughs] Stinky pun.

[gentle strumming]

[slow drumming]

Lita's teaching them how to make music?

That should've been me!

Uh-oh. Lita's blushing.

Aw. Not again.

Okay, spill it.
Why'd Lita lose her cool card?

Did she get body swapped?

Oh, dear. You really don't see it, prima?

Your animal books
are all about this kind of stuff.

What books?

I just read Romancimorphs
which are epic romances.

Ooh.

[in very deep voice] My prima bonding time

has been foiled by love?

These are the classic symptoms
of new crush.

Lita laughs
a little too hard at their jokes.

-She looks at them with hard eyes and...
-The blushing!

-Tres por tres...
-Equals nine.

But why do you seem so worried?

Isn't this a good thing?

Mm...

[Lucita] You don't remember when that mime
broke up with her on Valentine's Day?

-[engine revving]
-[sighs]

[Scooter] Or when that trumpet player

-broke her heart?
-[trumpet playing]

-[crying] This was our song!
-[tires screeching]

Pobre Lita has a broken picker.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-[both laughing]

Wish we knew more about Alex.

Me, too. They seemed cool.

Pero, so did Armand, the mime.

[laughter]

Wait, no, no, tell it again.

Since we're all looking out for Lita here,

why don't we combine forces
and dig up some dirt... intel on Alex?

-What do you think?
-Let's go.

Now, we sleuth.

[both] Whoa!

[yelps, grunts]

[sobs] I'll never do a kickflip!

-You need help, kiddo?
-Mm-hmm.

-Check it out.
-[laughs] I did it!

Oh, that's nice of them.

-They got mad skills.
-Kind of a show-off, if you ask me.

[lights buzz]

-[traffic noises]
-[lady whimpering]

-Need help? Allow me.
-Oh. Oh...

Oh, thank you, young person.

If I may ask one more favor,

could you teach me
a sweet trick on my skateboard?

-Sure.
-[lady grunting]

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Nobody's that nice.

You must be hiding something.

[meowing]

This is a classic.

And here comes St. Alex to the rescue.

[gasps] Or not!

Look at them abandoning that cat
just like they'll abandon Lita.

Hold up.

[Alex] [grunts] Gotcha!

What?

[meowing]

Alex seems kind of perfect.

Yeah, maybe Lita has finally
broken her pattern.

Y sabes qué?
My shoulders are starting to numb.

Let's go home.

But... But you can't give up yet.
Ugh. Fine.

I'm seeing this case through.

[visitor bell dings]

Can I get those? Awesome.

Buying flowers for Lita?
That's pretty romantic.

[groans softly]
Maybe they are legit, after all.

Now, can you add a message
that says, "For Mercedes?

the most important woman in my life."

[gasps] Alex doesn't know Lita's name!

No, wait. Alex is wooing another!
I must warn Lita!

This one's called "Alex, my Almost Ex."

And it's not about heartbreak.

-[♪ rock music playing]
-Thanks to Tater, my favorite prima.

Lita! I have breaking news for you!

Hey, there you are.

I owe you an apology
for missing our lesson earlier.

I've been a little preoccupied lately.

-Yeah, well, I...
-I have this new friend

that I think I'm vibing with,

but I can't tell if they feel the same.

Ah, anyway, enough about me.

Qué onda? What's the big news?

[squeals, splutters]

It's about my surprise
for our prima movie night.

See, I asked Scooter
to make us bonnets for

Kung Fu Bustle, The Movie, The Musical!

Oh, darn, that's too small.

I really wanted to look
like a Victorian baby.

Well, we should get going.

Don't wanna miss
the opening kung fu credits.

[groans]

[♪ orchestral score playing]

All right, prima time is back, baby.

You know, I missed you this week.

The other primas don't get me like you...

[gasps] You! What are you doing here?

It's cool if Alex joins us, right?

But them, here, why?

After all,
betrayal feels great in a place like this.

I disagree.

-[Alex] Want some?
-[Tater] Mm-mm.

Can I have some?
Only if I can have some of your candy.

[laughing] Fine. Here you go.

-[laughing] Hey, watch it!
-Hey! I'm trying to watch a movie here!

[groans]

That's it! Lita, Alex is a liar.

They already have a lady
in their life named Mercedes.

-[moviegoers gasp]
-Or are you going to deny it?

No, I mean, es verdad.

[moviegoers gasp]

See? It's settled that you and Alex
should just stay co-workers.

Lucita and Scooter agree with me, too.

[Scooter] [clears throat] No, they don't.

[gasps] Eh, tú, Lucita?

Hey, I'm trying to watch a movie.

[overlapping chatter]

Tater, I get why you're mad.

I shouldn't have invited Alex here
without asking you first.

But don't be mad at them. It was my bad.

B-but what about Mercedes,
the most important woman in your life?

Uh, she is. She's my mom.

See, I got her flowers because
she had an injury after a bad kickflip.

In terms of a relationship,
I don't have a girlfriend yet.

[gasps]

[♪ furious riffs playing]

-[♪ "Funeral March" playing]
-Hiss!

Yes! [laughs] Yes!

Now, you must spend time with me, only me!

[retches] I'm the villain?

We're sorry for snooping, hermana.

We were just worried about you.

It's okay, hermanita.

We thought you crushed
on someone who'd break your heart.

Like Armand, and trumpet girl,
and surf instructor.

Stop talking. Gracias.
No need to list more.

I appreciate the worry.
But one day, you'll get it.

Heartbreak sucks, but it's part of dating.

We learn from it, and if we're lucky,

it leads us to the right person.

[sobbing] Beautiful.

That's my favorite Romancimorphs book.

Romancimorphs? Well, that was
my favorite series as a kid.

Merman and Capybara are end game.

[gasps] [strains] Alex is the coolest!

[♪ closing theme music playing]