01x02 - How Many People Does He Need?

[bunniefuu]

"I'm a valuable commodity."

I see a dude coming

at me, trying to k*ll me?

I tell myself, get k*lled!

Catch the ball!

Booya!

Touchdown!

I make miracles happen, baby!

"I've got an ant problem, Jerry."

Nobody's looking out

for Rod Tidwell.

And I'm supposed to be a superstar!

No, not today, no.

"Crops have been destroyed

as far as the eye can see."

"There is talk of a beast."

They whisper the name Dobhar-chu.

Do you believe it, An Dagda?

- Oh my God.

- I liked her.

Ah no, love.

She's not well, love.

Down your daggers.

He is of Dagda, and I am an Dagda.

All shorts.

He's all shorts and no Mescal, isn't he?

"Then she sit there

denying and denying"

and I feel a misty coldness

climbing up my back

and the skin on my skull

begin to creep

and I feel a clamp around my neck

and I cannot breathe air.

God bless you, Jerry!

But this is what you're going

to do for me. Are you ready?

I hear a voice, a screaming voice

and it were my voice.

This is a very personal

very important thing.

Hell, it's a family motto.

And all at once I remembered

everything she'd done to me.

Here we go.

Show me the money.

Show me the money!

Phew.

Peasant girl number two. Wow.

So, does that mean

you're in the show?

No, Dad, it's just a callback.

- So, what's that then?

- You know what a callback is.

- Don't play daft.

- I'm not playing anything.

What is it, like

a second interview?

Yes.

A call back.

Sorry. Forgot I married Helen

f*cking Mirren over here.

It's only a small part

and I probably won't even get it, so

Is that kettle boiled?

I thought I heard it

like, a while back.

Were you nervous?

I'd split myself doing

something like that, you know.

Gets it from me.

Obvs.

I was just doing lines from a play

that we're studying at school

so it was alright, actually.

Oh, Keith McCurdle was there, Dad.

He cried after his audition.

- Like, a lot.

- He's quite mad, honestly.

The maddest person to ever run

a petrol station, I'd say.

I suppose lots of girls will be

getting callbacks

until they work out

what they really want.

Toast there, son

if you care for such things.

Wait, who's getting a callback?

You can be my Oscar date.

Actually, no, that's weird.

- Wait, did you really, though?

- Yeah.

Don't gloat, Joanne. You know

what your brother's been going through.

I dropped out of college, Mum.

I don't have cancer.

- Wisht would you.

- Fine, I'm taking a sabbatical.

No, cancer.

You never say cancer

in a doctor's house.

That's like saying

Hamlet in a theatre.

- It's Macbeth, you plank.

- That's great, Jo.

I didn't realize it was the kind of TV

show that had orcs and sh*t in it.

It's only a callback.

Here, when did this come in?

Production can suck my nuts.

"So, in terms of our principal cast

where are we? Are we happy?"

- "What's up?"

- "More than happy, Brad."

"We sent a basket of cheese

or whatever to Jemima Rowlands"

"and she's excited about playing Bridget.

She's bringing her cat."

Alright, sorry I missed

the morning meeting.

I think my gardener's stealing from me

so I need to catch up.

- "Where are we at with the male lead?"

- "Really close is what I'm hearing."

"Well, has he signed contracts?"

Pen has not been put to paper per se

but he is deeply committed in principle.

- Yeah, that's what he said a month ago.

- "And he meant it."

Olaf Frieburger

is a huge name right now.

- "I can't believe I got him."

- f*ck is that? I didn't ask for that.

Son of a Danish film director

theatre trained in London

"started chopping wood on TikTok"

"2 million followers

made the Bond shortlist"

models for both Dior and M&Ms.

Wow, what a busy f*cking bee.

I just hope he's not using

our offer as leverage

and we'll spend all

of pre-production chasing a shadow.

He's the guy, Brad.

Trust me.

Yeah, and what about

all the personal sh*t?

Well, he does have

very many children.

Yeah, Google informs me

he has 14 f*cking kids.

- What is he, a seahorse?

- Well, you know what that tells us?

"What does that tell us?"

Olaf Frieburger never pulls out.

Was that a sex joke there, Wendy?

Yeah, it was, Brad.

"Not bad.

Pretty solid."

- You ready, Dad?

- sh*t the f*cking plants, there he is.

- Are you alright, Sonny?

- Are you alright?

Better than ever

as the saying goes.

Are we still doing

the pub for lunch?

Aye.

I have a committee thing, so

I found porn mags in there one time.

What's in there now?

It's so nice to have you home, son

reminding us of things.

We've completed option agreements

on most of the recurring cast.

And we're going to spend

a few days here in Drumban

hoping we can save money

on some day players with local hire.

- I did the town musical there once.

- Yeah.

Jemima Rowlands has started

vocal coaching and accent work.

But what we really need now is clarification

on who's playing the Dagda.

- We know who's playing the Dagda.

- Because it's a very important role.

Not just narratively

but culturally.

No, yeah, I've read it.

- And I know you have your heart set on

- Olaf Frieburger. My mind too.

But I suppose what everybody's

wondering is

surely it's time to walk away

from the woodchopper.

He was out, he was in, he seems

likely to withdraw his commitment

the next time Skittles come calling.

- Kelly.

- Carol.

Carol, here's what we know

Olaf Frieburger never pulls out.

Do you know how many kids he has?

We could revisit

the backup casting list.

What backup casting list?

We were instructed

by your colleague at the studio

he wanted us to have

a backup casting list

in case your primary

casting options fell through.

My colleague is such a clever clogs.

I'm so lucky to have him.

Oh, here we go.

- What is that?

- A f*cking sparrow now.

Honestly, this town

every day with this sh*t!

Sorry about your stuff.

Oh, it's fine.

It's only a bag my mother left me.

That's one of the local girls

who came in for background lines.

Any good?

Will you be wanting to photograph

everyone who's auditioned?

Would that be weird?

No. I mean, no.

I just, I actually liked her eyebrows.

I thought maybe

she knew of a good place.

I just color mine in, at home.

Oh, I know.

Have you finished with that pastry?

- "Hey, Wendy, it's Brad."

- Talk to me, goose.

"Listen, Olaf Freiberger's

agent just called."

"He's gone AWOL."

"So, now we don't have a leading man."

What is that, chewing?

And with a production this size

comes responsibility.

Every effort must be made to comfortably

house our valuable cast and crew.

We hope any temporary inconvenience

will be dwarfed by the success

we'll all share in

as the I am Celt family.

Yours sincerely, Wendy Patterson

executive producer.

That's a big ask, no?

I want to help the production

in any way possible

but my family are fairly fond

of living at home.

It's ridiculous, Seamie.

What other local dwellings

have been requested?

- She only wants my house?

- Well, that we know of.

Keith, has anyone else

mentioned it at the petrol station?

No.

I say f*ck them, Seamie.

How did your audition go, Keith?

Well, it's impossible to know

what they're looking for.

- Not talent, anyway.

- Or passion.

I don't know, Seamie.

If yours is the only house they need

I'm not aware

if it's on the official agenda

but are we planning on discussing

the fact that dead birds keep dropping out

of the fecking sky, or what?

- I mean, I'm not a holy man.

- But not ideal, as signs go.

Well, the agenda is actually fairly packed

Keith, as it's a lunch meeting.

I could squeeze dead birds

into Thursday night's agenda.

No, you're grand.

Sure it'll be fine.

- I'll just duck.

- Why?

- Did you audition?

- Of course not.

Can you imagine?

I find selfies intrusive.

- Bet you did, though?

- No.

Drama and bloody history

shite does nothing for me.

I'm more of a song

and a dance kind of a girl.

- Well, I mean, that's plain as day.

- Maybe if it was a screen musical.

Right, like Mama Mia or something?

- Ah, yeah, that's more my jam.

- Could I trouble you

for some cutlery for my soup

and sandwich combo?

- Are you with the film crew?

- Guilty.

- Not that we're dodgy.

- You need cutlery for your sandwich?

No, I meant cutlery for my soup.

So, a spoon?

That's the one.

A spoon.

I think it's just by your bowl there.

Oh, yeah.

Very swish.

- It's like dining at the Ritz.

- Oh, aye.

The very same.

Then my work here is done.

Mama Mia.

Sorry.

You're eating.

- Of course you are.

- I'll send you an email.

No, no, no, you're grand.

Just enjoying a quick bite.

- What's up, Tony?

- Just had a call from the TV people.

They're going to be doing a site visit

of the school grounds this week

a reccy, so there might be

a few strange bods about.

Just FY your I.

No bother.

Good to know.

I'll let you get back

to your eating.

- Is he gone?

- Aye.

I'll let you get back

to your eating.

I think

he was talking to you.

Why did you engage him

in conversation?

With me down there doing that.

Don't know really.

It would be very bad

if we got caught, you know?

- You get that, don't you, Catherine?

- It's Mrs. Proctor.

Says it on the door.

It was a joke.

You know, I've been thinking

I might try to get a job on the TV production.

- What?

- Yeah, they're always looking for runners

- and what have you.

- Runner?

But you're desperately

needed in the surgery as my

Runner?

Maternity leave cover receptionist.

And top-notch colleague.

Well, Sandra's not going

to be pregnant forever.

The last five years

tell a different story.

Look, if you know the producer lady

you could put a word in for me.

Who says I know the producer lady?

A little birdie.

Does that little birdie happen to work

behind the bar at the White Ridge?

That committee

made a pledge of silence.

- An omerta, if you will.

- She called the surgery looking for you.

- You were busy.

- Who, Wendy?

When?

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Look, she's called a few times.

I forgot to tell you

because I'm a terrible receptionist

and you should hire

a temp until Sandra's back.

Or you could just master

our beloved post-it system.

Can't believe the committee

from the White Ridge

made an actual pledge of silence.

There were candles.

It was nice.

I always struggle

to control the bleeding.

I know it's because I don't leave it

to dry long enough

but surely life's too short.

Welcome back!

Your father's dying to see you.

I've been here a week

I've called over a few times.

Oh. I'm sorry, darling.

We've been away

golfing with the couples.

Golfing with the couples?

New course by the sea.

The Reverend's there now.

I'm away to meet him in a minute.

You could join if you like.

I'm needed here, actually.

Oh, yeah, the TV thing.

It's been quite a few years.

We've Zoomed.

Golf with the couples by the sea?

Well, since he retired from the church

we'd be up there three weeks

in the month, I'd say.

It's nice to have a different vista

now and then.

How's he doing?

His short game needs work.

Well, I'd like some proper time with

the two of you while I'm in Drumban

- to talk.

- Of course.

I'm sorry I'm rushing now, darling.

It's Meredith Mount's 70th

and we're doing back nine doubles.

We'd love to have you over

for dinner next week, of course.

Okay.

So glad I caught you.

What's your greatest fear?

Spiders.

Or heights.

If I was up a ladder

and I saw a spider, well

I wouldn't like it one bit.

When were you last up a ladder?

What's your greatest fear?

Losing the ability to walk.

Well, you conquered that one.

We did it together.

So, I suppose that

that makes you fearless now.

I suppose I am.

Mind if I hit the light?

I'm shagged out today.

Aye, go for it.

Pretty sure even I can find

my way to the bed in the dark

given I'm already sitting on it.

You alright there?

Did you happen to move the bed?

Night, Seamie.

"Who do you want to be next?"

"Whether you want to be a grizzly bear

or a yoga bear"

"there's a fitness or wellness program

just for you at Big Jim's Gyms."

"So, roll in on your way home

from the office"

"and we'll sort you right out."

- But here's the big news.

- "What, you ordered a rewrite?"

What?

No.

Olaf Frieburger

is back in the saddle.

- "I thought he pulled out."

- No.

Just had a little

mental health moment

after receiving some undesirable

paternity results

but his agent tells me

that's not uncommon.

"That's great news."

"Nice save, Wendy, nice save."

"You know, maybe you should

take him out when he gets there."

"A game of golf, maybe."

Golf?

Yeah, that's an idea.

Hey, Wendy, did Carol

from casting happen to mention

Happen to mention that you have

a backup casting list, just in case

my pick doesn't work out?

She did, Brad, as it happens.

"The background, backup option really

just shows an abundance of caution"

"which I think is smart.

Don't you agree, Mr. Donald?"

"I, I think we ought to keep the process

going until we're absolutely sure"

- "that we have Frieburger signed on."

- "Yeah, okay."

Well, here's what we know

about Olaf Frieburg

"I seem to be having issues

with my Wi-Fi."

"Hello?"

"Okay.

So, before the technical issues"

He's not going to pull out, Brad.

But fine, we'll keep whatever you want.

Fine.

Bye!

- Super busy.

- "No, no, wait, Wendy!"

"You can't run from history."

- "But I can hide."

- "Yes."

"You may hide."

"Before us gone two warriors

who cannot see eye to eye"

Sorry, lads, could you scootch

down a bit? Thanks.

"They can't do anything since

they were attacked by those birds."

"And we'll get at them!"

Get plenty of shots

of the road, Jules.

Great parking space

for production vehicles.

When will I get to read the scripts?

They're only releasing pages

on a need-to-know basis.

Right now all you need to know is how many

camera trucks fit at the location.

It just doesn't feel like something

you get thanked for at the BAFTAs.

Oh, believe me

as an event it is overrated.

Well, I'd rather

believe it with my own

Flipping heck!

Shitcakes me!

- Why'd you do that?

- Why'd I do what, Glenda?

Why did I fall into a hole?

Is that what you're really asking me?

Why did I fall into a fecking hole?

You're being very lippy for someone

who just fell into a hole.

I'll see you in the Volvo.

- "Where did you fall?"

- "On my ankle."

Oh, f*ck!

Oh, I didn't realize you

were going to twist the b*stard.

Hey, wiggle your toes for me.

How's it looking?

Which foot was it again?

What?

There's no massive damage done

but you might have a tiny little fracture

in your fourth metatarsal.

What, like David Beckham?

Sure.

Nothing a couple of weeks off

your feet won't help, okay?

Well, my boss is going to love that.

And what is it you're doing

with the TV show, Jules?

I'm with locations.

Put some weight on there.

You decide where they

film the scenes and whatnot?

Well, my boss does.

I'm more the fella you call

when one of our big camera trucks

- is blocking your driveway.

- Ah, right.

Put some weight on it.

Back up. Okay.

Sit upright.

We'll get your sock on

but leave your boot off for the day.

I've got a lot of crocs at home.

Cool.

So, the producers, do they usually

hang around for the whole sh**t?

Well, I guess it depends what kind

of producing role they have.

Well, what if their role was

a handsome woman around my age?

Oh, that sounds like

Wendy Patterson.

But she'd be a lot

younger than you-hoo-hoo!

Enter.

There she is

my own little Debbie McGee.

Please stop calling me that.

I know you!

I'm the spoon man.

- Do you know the egg man?

- Oh yeah, from the pub.

- I remember you.

- That's a nice bar.

Does your girlfriend

like working there?

Well, it's her family pub

so it's more like indentured servitude.

Shelly's just a friend, actually.

- Oh, her name's Shelly?

- That's my auntie's name!

I'll let her know that.

Is that the phone ringing, Debbie?

I used to love a bit of magic.

So, all being well, Wendy might be

leaving town next week, you reckon?

Ah, I see

Get out of it.

An old friend.

Wendy's here for the long haul, Doc.

So, you've plenty

of time to catch up.

Great

Great.

It's like a maze in here.

Like a maze in a hospital.

Sorry, are you lost?

- Miss Patterson. There you are.

- Hi.

I'm Wendy.

I'm with the TV show.

Apologies, I was showing

your team the canteen.

Yeah, such a useful facility.

Shame it's only available

on the weekends.

- Yes.

- There are definitely sections

of the car park

we can utilize, Wendy.

- How are you? Jules.

- Thank you, again

- Location scout.

- Hey. Catherine.

Schoolteacher.

I've actually been meaning

to cycle more myself anyway.

How long have you

Been in the chair?

Ten years.

You?

- A lot less.

- Right.

- Don't leave them seats.

- Oh God.

Pleasure to meet you.

I'm Matt.

I'm a really big fan of television.

Cool.

Well, I make television.

Good one, Wendy.

Matt is our maths teacher.

Wish I had your job, though.

Lucky you.

Coming from here, doing all that.

Unless you had anything to do

with the Game of Thrones finale.

Then off with your head!

I hope I am Celt

has white walkers in it.

It's a historical drama, Matt.

Well, inspired by history.

Oh, right.

Sorry, what does that actually mean?

You're the history teacher, right?

Yes.

Absolutely my favorite subject in school.

Loved it.

All those wars.

I'd love to see your classroom.

Great.

So, your show.

It's about Celts, is it?

I left Ireland before high school.

Secondary school.

But my father thought this place was

all ruffians and lunatics, of course.

And we thought you lot

in Belcoo were just snobby.

And actually observant about us.

So, you're a long time gone then?

I used to come back a lot more.

But itchy feet and, you know, life.

After the divorce, my mum would send me

back every chance she got

but I'm not sure if that was for her

or for me, you know?

I do, aye.

And now you're back.

To tell the story

of your people to the world.

I have to tell you

I'm a bit of a Celtic history nut.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah. I mean

I'm just so glad it's being

told by a woman, you know

because there's layers of feminism

within the Celtic culture

- that the world could really learn from.

- Yeah, yeah, could be fun.

Shaping this story

into something that someone would put

their phone down to watch

is such a slog.

Are you ready yet, Mum?

- Been waiting in the car an hour.

- Come in, Joanne.

Come in.

And meet the producer of I am Celt.

This is my youngest.

Joanne.

Yeah, she's working on her patience.

Sorry.

It's just I

I have lines to learn.

So, yeah, eager.

I heard you did

a hugely impressive audition.

- No way!

- Mum!

I studied

The Crucible in school too.

Gave me a lifelong love

of shows featuring witches.

The clothes, spells

Yeah, we didn't even know

she was going to audition.

Well, I'm glad she did.

Oh, that is me late.

I have a date

with an interactive spin class.

Same.

Say hi to your dad for me.

Were you friends with my dad?

Kind of.

We did a little traveling together.

It was so nice

to meet you, Catherine.

Mrs. Proctor, I mean.

- I'll see you soon, Joanne.

- Bye.

Well?

Morning batch is in the fridge.

Will you stop eating it with your fingers?

We're getting complaints.

- That's what Gordon Ramsay does.

- He doesn't supply gyms.

How'd your audition go, Jimmy?

Shite.

- I got recognized though.

- Did you, Jimmy?

Maybe you should start

charging for autographs.

I could give you a free gym membership.

All you have to do is ask.

- Can I exchange it for rent?

- He's trying his best.

It's not that I don't love you

all living with me still.

- But promises were made.

- Come on, Mammy.

Jenny's carrying my baby

we're family.

And once I've paid off the IVF

and the legal fees for the court cases

- then I'll be out your hair.

- Well, then

And once Big Jim's Jams

hits the shelves

That's the spirit, Jenny. Once the nutritional

wing of the operation takes off

then we'll be up

and away to fame and fortune.

My hole.

I love you, Jimmy

but that's exactly what you said

about your sleepwear range.

I still believe Big Jim's Jimjams would

work in a different economic environment.

- Oh!

- Covid dampened people's spirits

for two-person pajamas

and I think you know that, Mother.

"Yeah, she said to say hi."

So, where did you travel together?

There was a bunch of us.

Where did we go that time?

Up north I think, somewhere.

Didn't realize

you two were so close.

Well, I'm a mystery, Catherine.

Wrapped in an enigma.

Dipped in cheese.

She's very pretty.

Uses filler by the kilo, I'd say.

Look, she said that she really

liked my audition

so it's not even cheating if you text her

and say how brilliant I am.

Shouldn't you just be

concentrating on your studies?

I mean, I'd really like

for one of you to get a real job.

He already has a real job

with me in the surgery.

I'm with Mum on this one.

Dad

Look, I'm sure if you're right

for the part, you'll get it.

I don't know what good

a text from me would do.

I don't even have her number.

It's written on a post-it

on your desk.

I hear you've met my girls.

And your son's applied

to be a runner.

Well, get used to weak tea.

What a lovely life you've built.

Says the superstar TV producer.

It's all a lie, of course.

The young one's alright.

Is your plan really

to just never talk about

what happened

when we were younger?

Well, I'm not much

of a plan maker, you know?

Okay, how about this?

Why don't you run me through

what you think happened

the night of the millennium?

Well, let me see.

The Queen and Tony Blair

sang Auld Lang Syne

in a big tent on the Thames.

I'm not going anywhere, Seamus

so get out as many jokes as you want.

We went into the woods.

Fireworks were going off

and we got a bit amorous.

This was over 20 years ago, Wendy.

Barely started medical school

for God's sake.

We got a bit amorous

Then I went for your tit

and that move proved contentious.

Seamie

Something took us.

Something from above.

I don't know what it was

why it took us, and why it let us go.

But there you have it.

A night I'll never forget.

Cause of the spaceship

that is, not your tit.

Do you remember the blue room?

Like it was in my own house.

But the only thing

I recognized in it was you.

Well, this is new.

Do you remember the alpaca?

I remember it all, Wendy.

Well, this is great news.

This is great God damn news!

I got to tell you

the first ten years after this sh*t

I spent a lot of time thinking

I was literally insane!

Lived in Dubai for most

of that, which did not help.

The next ten, I thought

the whole world was crazy!

So, obviously I got into TV.

But the last few years

I have been convinced

that the only one

who is f*cked up is you!

You sound like my wife.

You tried to convince me

it didn't happen.

Your dad did most of the work.

You didn't back me up!

You made me sound like some crazy girl

who did too many jagerbombs.

- Well, we had!

- You didn't back me up, Seamie!

No.

No, I didn't!

My bad, as you'd say.

What the f*ck happened to us?

Literally the maddest thing

that's ever happened to anyone ever.

Oh my God

I can't wait to talk about it.

My therapist is

about to call the cops.

- I have a lot of questions.

- Everyone will.

Like, where do we even start?

People are going to lose their sh*t.

This is going to change everything.

Why would we tell anyone?

Well, because we have to.

Do we?

Why now?

Because now we know it's true.

It was always true.

Well, I f*cking know that now!

- So, what's changed?

- You're admitting it!

Only to you, though!

Wendy, f*ck.

I'm the local doctor.

That's not something they let you do

when you tell everyone you take rides

with little blue men

from time to time.

There were no little blue men.

Try telling them that, Wendy.

Mork and f*cking Mindy.

That's what they'll call us

in the real world.

This isn't LA.

Being abducted

isn't a cool new vibe.

In this village, I'd be one social

level below the woman on the bridge

who throws cats in the water.

People are going to find out.

Not from me, they won't.

And nobody in Drumban

knows a thing about it.

I'm in Drumban.

Yeah, but you're just the crazy lady

who came back from LA

and thinks she's best friends with ET.

Aye.

Wendy, I'm so sorry.

But what good would the truth

do anybody now?

Wendy, what are you doing?

Well done.

Oh, that's just, like, medicine

and medical instruments and stuff.

People will be sicker

because of that, what you just did.

Great. soggy f*cking bandages.

Here they come.

"Oh my God

how many of them are there?"

They'll be needing plenty of diesel.

"And breakfast rolls."

"That young one's

going to get herself k*lled."

"What's she doing?"

- "She'll be squashed flat."

- "Aye."

- "Idiot."

- "This way, this way."

Yeah, keep it through

keep moving through, please.

I don't know

what their actors are like

but their trucks are doing a good

impression of an invasion.

Not sure if I should salute them

or fire at them.

Time will tell.

Are you okay?

- Yeah?

- "Oh, hey."

"Wendy, it's Brad here in LA."

Yeah, it's really late here, Brad.

What's up?

Look, I just got off the phone

with Olaf Freiberger's attorney.

We play pickleball together.

"Called in a favor."

So, Olaf is pulling out

of I am Celt.

"He's got a project set up with Mattel"

for a live-action movie

of those M&M characters

paired with the Magic 8 Ball

or some sh*t.

"He also admitted that Olaf was using our

offer to get him a pay bump at the studio."

- Where do you play pickleball?

- "Chasing Mr. Frieburger"

"has obviously eaten up

much of the casting period"

and I'm told costumes needs

his character next week

which is f*cking soon.

Yeah. Yeah.

That yes

the week after this week.

8Listen, I don't want to impose

any actors on you, but

Nor can you, Brad

per our agreement on this project.

I, I do have a shortlist.

No, Brad, we haven't even

discussed my other options yet.

"What options?"

"Look, I know what

you're going to say but"

I, I kind of feel that Arnie Hammer

is due a comeback.

"I'm sure he's open to offers."

"Big Jim's your only man."

I have the guy.

Yeah?

Who is he? Do I know him?

No. He's new.

He's local.

Which makes sense

given our timeframe.

He's got a big, big screen presence.

He's strong.

Strongly recommended

strongly recommended by

- What, what's that, Brad?

- I didn't say anything.

You had the casting picks

on the last two projects.

This one's mine, okay?

"I literally didn't say

anything, Wendy."

Yes, I f*cking knew it.

8You knew what?

I knew that you'd be cool about this

Brad, and I want to let you know that

I appreciate you

trusting my instincts.

Says a lot about a man.

Yeah, well if you're sure.

- Do I sound unsure?

- Kind of.

I'm going to email over the casting

notice before I go to sleep.

- You'll approve it?

- "Look"

I do CrossFit with

Arnie Hammer's orthodontist.

- "I could put in a call"

- Just sign off on the f*cking thing, Brad.

Please?

Look, we'll, we'll cast around him.

Thank you.

Goodnight.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Cool. Coolio.

Talk then.

Okay, bye now.

That was Carol

from casting.

Well, what did she say, Jimmy?

That show I auditioned

for a small role in

The Celty one?

I thought that was another big no.

They had someone cast to play

the God of fertility and agriculture.

That's quite a combo.

- Olaf Frieburger pulled out.

- That's a first.

Carol from casting thinks

the producer sees something in me.

James, what does that mean?

It means

I got it, Mam!

Holy f*ck!

Did you hear that?

Your clever daddy's

going to be a movie star!

Are you alright, Mam?

Jimmy, my television there

you're going to be on it

not selling cheap

gyms or whatnot?

It's just a TV show, Mammy.

And you're going to be

the f*cking star of it!

I am Celt.

I am Celt!

I am Celt.

I am f*cked.