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01x03 - Two Tribes

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "A Town Called Malice". Aired: March 16, 2023 – May 4, 2023.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Set in the 1980s, the Lord family is past their criminal heydays, but that does not mean they do not feel nostalgic for it.

01x03 - Two Tribes

Post by bunniefuu »

The following programme contains
strong language and violent scenes.

Dad?

- Kelly.
- Dad!

It was them Peckham Boys, Dad. They
got me at the lockup down the yard.

Leonard, round up your
cousins and get down there!

- I'm going too, Dad.
- No way.

There was a time when the Lord
name counted for something.

Look at you now. Light him up.

No. Please!

Did your uncle ever mention the
name Ernesto Alvarez to you?

No. Why?

They met around the
time he was k*lled.

Hola muchacha.

They're f*cking Gypsies.

I'll get shot of them
when I want. It's my land.

Let's find these f*cking deeds!

See that police
officer you ran into?

Yeah?

He's dead, baby.

It's Cindy.

She's hiding something
from us, Kel.

She weren't for me anyway.

I always knew she
was a wrong 'un.

♪ MARILLION: Kayleigh ♪

♪ Do you remember?

♪ Chalk hearts melting
on a playground wall

♪ Do you remember?

♪ Dawn escapes from
moon-washed college halls

♪ Do you remember?

♪ The cherry blossom
in the market square

♪ Do you remember?

♪ I thought it was
confetti in our hair

♪ Kayleigh, is it too
late to say I'm sorry?

♪ And, Kayleigh, could we
get it together again... ♪

(DOOR CLATTERING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

What the f*ck are you doing?

Nothing.

My mum just wanted me to...

try her fur coat on for size.

It's nothing.

How did you know I
was in here anyway?

Where else would you be?

Everyone knows this is all
you've got left, Dimlo.

Well, it's a good thing
you're here, Barney.

Opportunity knocks.
I'm off to Alabasas.

Pay me what you owe and
then you can f*ck off.

No, no, no, you
don't understand.

I'm here to offer you Peckham
boys a deal of a lifetime.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

90 Atari consoles.

30 Amstrad 790s.

50 soda streams. And
I mean the good ones.

Got Dorothy Perkins fur coats.

Fila BJs - not the snides.

Casio calculator watches.

300 copies of Dark Side Of The Moon.
Yeah, I've got it. Come on, then.

What's the catch?

There ain't one.

- How much?
- Five grand.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY) No.

Two grand.

Well, that was easier than
pushing a granny over in the snow.

Come to my office and
collect the readies.

I'm not coming back here.

State of it.

Full of rats.

And f*cking Lords.

(ROLLING DOORS RATTLE)

(KNOCKING)

What the f*ck do you want?

Grandma sent me.

You wanted a sil*ncer, right?

Yeah.

You wanna know where
those b*ll*ts are headed?

It's just a warning. Yeah,
it might get ugly, Kel.

His name's Eddie Smith.

Cindy's fella. He's just got
out of the nick and he's game.

What do you mean, he's game?
I heard he ironed someone out.

You know what you do - with that, yeah?
- Yeah.

It's not my first rodeo.

You've never even
ridden a f*ck' horse.

♪ When two tribes go to w*r

♪ A point is all
that you can score

♪ Score them all, score them all

♪ When two tribes go to w*r

♪ A point is all
that you can score

♪ Working for the black gas

♪ Yeah! ♪

Let me guess.

White, one sugar?

Adelante.

Firstly... let me apologise
for the grand entrance

and the flashing lights
at Club Paradiso.

It really wasn't necessary.

But we've never had a chance
to show off like that.

You see, until you arrived,

the only deaths in this part
of the Costa were the elderly.

And now, well, I'm
at a loss, you know.

I was hoping you
could fill me in.

You're the policeman.

Well, it's, um...

it's clear that your uncle
was out of his depth.

Now, witnesses place
you and Cindy Carter

having lunch with him

the day he rowed with Ernesto
Alvarez at Club Paradiso.

But, from my memory,
you saw nothing.

Furious, Tony went to Escobells
with a g*n and confronted Ernesto.

All hell broke loose.

Everybody presumed dead...

Until Ernesto was found alive
with a b*llet in his chest.

And I told Cindy that he
was recovering in hospital.

Sadly, he succumbed
to his injuries.

But just before he died...

he had a visitor.

And they left...

this earring behind.

Don't cry, darling.

We don't sh**t our
wounded in this family.

When Gene made a
pledge to you...

we all did.

Thanks, Ma.

So why on earth do they
think Gene k*lled someone?

The guy that m*rder*d Tony...

Ernesto Alvarez,

he died in hospital.

They think Gene did it.

No-good c**ts. All of 'em.

Just cos they eat octopus don't make
the police down here any better.

My boy, a k*ller?

Are they mad?

Now, you know what I think?

I think that, while you
paid respects to your uncle,

Cindy took revenge
for his m*rder

and left this little
souvenir behind.

Tell me I'm right and you can
walk out of here a free man.

Do you know what I think?

Go, please, tell me, amigo.

I think that if you had anything
that resembled real evidence,

you'd have arrested
her, and not me.

As it is, you're
just shaking the tree

to see if anything
falls, I get it.

You're sensing I might
be the weak link.

The truth is, you've got
nothing and you know it.

Look at you.

A sheriff...

of a sleepy one-horse
town with zero crime,

and then boom...

it all kicks off when
the Lords ride in.

Like something out of a two-bob
airport novella, ain't it?

Most of the English
over here are criminals.

But not all of us.

So unless you're
gonna charge me...

time to salir.

Tea's sh*t, mate.

So...

looks like the apple didn't fall
so far from the tree after all.

Look, I'm sorry, Dad.

The man who k*lled Uncle
Tony died in the hospital.

They was just
asking me about him.

What did you say?

Nothing. I don't know anything.

Then what you sorry about, hm?

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

You avoiding me is embarrassing.

Not coming home for Christmas...

embarrassing.

But getting arrested...

You drive.

(SPITS)

A-hem.

- What?
- Your partner's widow, Mrs Russo is here.

- Now?
- Yeah.

For f*ck's sake. All
right, bring her in.

Hiya.

Thanks for coming down.

Do you mind?

No, of course not.

Been on my own with him
since his dad was m*rder*d.

There we go.

Do you wanna take a seat?

I, er...

I just wanted to reassure you

we're doing everything we
can to find David's K*llers.

You know, my husband thought
you were the bee's knees.

The way you brought him up - from traffic duty.
- Yeah.

He rated you.

He was a good lad.

They're gonna pay for
what they took from you.

You have my word on it.

I heard they fled the country.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, yeah.

And you let 'em escape.

We're gonna find them, Amelia.

I promise you,
whatever it takes.

Fighting talk.

I like it.

But my David is dead.

And whatever comfort I may have
had in seeing justice done...

that's gone too.

And it's your f*cking
fault... woman.

'What did the police do to you?'

Just digging.

- They found your earrings.
- f*ck!

Without the other one, they
can't prove it's yours.

They've got nothing.

Right?

They can't pin anything
on us, we're in the clear.

I promise.

We're home free.

No, we're not.

Your brother's worked out
the land's worth 50 grand.

He said he'd tell your
dad they should flip it

and f*ck off back to Bermondsey.

Well, that's not happening.

Cind, we ain't come
this far for nothing.

Maybe you should tell
him about the hotel.

You know, try and get him - on the hook.
- Have you met my dad?

He'd never entertain the idea
of us building on that land,

because he didn't
think of it himself.

That's his mentality.

That's why I got as far away
from him as I possibly could.

Well, whether you
like it or not,

he owns the land
now, and we need him.

Cos if they sell up and go back
to London, we're stuck here.

Potless. Squatting in
someone else's house.

Like Uncle f*cking Tony.

What's the weather like out
there? 'Sunshine and blue skies.'

Kids flying kites.'Typical. Sun
only comes out when you go away.'

Where you at with that lock-up?

'It's sorted, Dad.'Good
boy. How much d'you get?

What?'You heard.'

Yeah, pushed him hard, Dad.

He went over like a granny
in the snow.'How much?'

'A few grand.'Good. Well,
get that money sharpish.

We ain't got money to eat and
God knows how long it'll take

to sell that land.
'Yeah, sweet, Dad.'

So, what's it like there,
anyway? Nice birds?

Listen, Kel.

You're the only one I trust.

And I need my general,
here with me. You get it?

Yeah, that's cushty,
Dad. Really cushty.

Hey, we'll have a nice bit of
lobster when I get out there.

'Lobster? I f*cking
hate lobster.

'You know how much
that land is worth?'

£50,000 for the Lords.

'f*cking hell.'Yeah, exactly.

That's plenty for us to
get back in the game.

We'll be back in south London
and on top before you know it.

Ow! God, it stings!

You should've used the
Piz Buin I gave you.

- Len, ssh!
- Sorry, Dad.

Kel, it's Ma.

'All right, Mum?'

That little thing, I
asked you to do. Any good?

Yeah. Yeah.

Name's Eddie Smith.
He's a right wrong 'un.

He lives up on the flats
on Nelson Wa... Way.

'Good boy. You
gonna flop on him?'

Oh! f*cking w*nk*r!

Your kid brother deserves
to know the truth.

Don't you think?

'It's all in hand, Ma. I got the
yogga. I'm gonna stick it on him.'

That's it.

All I ask is that we
look out for each other.

Piss off.

No.

I will not sit here and
listen to you masticating.

Then licking the crisp dust off your
fingertips. It's disgusting, no.

What do you think he's up to?

I don't know.

We just need something ill*gal.

Stolen goods, theft, anything
with a bit of jail time.

That way we can get him to
roll over on the brother

before he f*ck off to Spain.

Without Kelly, we
can't get to Gene.

Without Gene, we're f*cked.

(CLATTERING)

Hello?

What the f*ck are you doing
here? Don't sh**t, don't sh**t!

- Are you trying to rob me?
- No, I'm not, I'm a friend of Cindy's.

- Cindy's?
- Yeah.

Cindy.

How do you know my mother?

Mother?

♪ MADNESS: Our House ♪

Twos.

I've just sparked up. Just
saying I want the twos.

♪ Father wears his Sunday best

♪ Mother's tired,
she needs a rest

♪ The kids are
playing up downstairs

♪ Sister's sighing in her sleep... ♪
No.

♪ Ah-ah-ah

♪ Brother's got a date to
keep He can't hang around

♪ Our house

♪ In the middle of our street

♪ Our house

♪ In the middle of
our Our house is... ♪

(MUSIC STOPS) Who the
f*ck are those people?

What you doing here?

Sorry, we did knock.

I'm Lola. And this
is my sister Manuela.

- And?
- And we're from a small Gitano community here

that live on your land.

Our land?

Yes, and as the new landowners,

my father would like to welcome you
to come over for dinner tonight.

And celebrate with our people.

It would be an honour to
have you as our guests.

I don't f*cking think so.

Dad, come on.

No, it would...

it would be our
honour. No, Son, no.

Dad, please.

We'd love to.

Gracias.

A gift.

From your land.

A tradition.

Dad, what have you got to say?

Gracias. Gracias.

We appreciate you
coming. I'll see you out.

Gypsies on our land? Maybe
they have a right to roam.

Well, unless they've got 50 grand,
they can f*ck off back there.

- Leonard.
- f*cking hell, Dad.

No, no, no, f*ck
off, Len. No, no, no.

Sooner we sell this land
and get home, the better.

I'm going in. It's f*cking hot.

What the f*ck are you
doing with this anyway?

I heard you just
got out of jail.

Yeah. TDA, mate.

I stole a car.

Hardly crime of the
f*cking century.

How did you wind up
in the nick, then?

Look at me... you fool.

I'm not sure how I'm going
to break this one to Ma.

f*cking hell. If the social
sees the state of this gaff...

I'm 16.

Socials don't give a f*ck.

And anyway, I'm just here
till my mum gets back.

Oh, mate, she's not
coming back, is she?

What you chatting about?
She k*lled a policeman.

She's on the run in
Spain with me brother.

What?

- She k*lled Babylon?
- No, it weren't m*rder. It was an accident.

- Why Spain?
- Here, look.

- Have that. What?
- Less you know, the better, all right?

I've already said too much.

Wish I could do more for you,
but I'm leaving for Spain myself.

You look after yourself, yeah?

Thanks for not sh**ting me.

Listen, Dad, I know you want to sell
up and go home, but hear me out.

I found it hidden
in the games room.

What is it?

It's a design for a resort town.

Hotels, apartments, golf
courses, swimming pools.

Even a cheeky little
Giorgi Armani shop.

Don't you see?

This is why Uncle Tony was buying up
all the land. He was gonna build it.

Well, we all know
he was full of sh*t.

That's not the point, Carl.
Dad, you own this land now.

What, we're gonna build a town?

Turn that shitty old bit of
land into f*cking St Tropez?

Do me a favour, you
f*cking ice cream.

- Well, why not?
- Well, what the f*ck - do we know about building? - Yeah.

Well, nothing,
but the Gitanos do

and that's the reason we
need to keep them sweet.

Listen, Dad... you play this right
and you could be back in the game.

Just imagine, how all them
mugs back in London will feel

seeing you plotting up with a
lardy on your penthouse balcony.

This is more than just 50 grand.

Think big, Dad.
That's what you do.

This could blow everything
out of the water

and put you right back
where you deserve to be.

Right on f*cking top.

But to do that, we need
those Gitanos on side.

You're talking bollocks, mate. We
haven't got a dollar to our name.

We're totally f*cking potless.

Can't even afford to
get back to Bermo,

and you're suggesting we
build a f*cking hotel?

You've got some
fancy ideas, kid.

Why not? Hm?

You should listen to him.

You're all hands, Son.
Start using your canister.

OK, let's break bread
with the Gitanos.

I mean...

f*ck it.

What's the worst
that could happen?

Len, bring a blade just in case.

Well done, Son. Well done.

Barney?

Barney.

Just come to pick up that cash.

It's there.

Feels a bit light.

Mind if I, er...

Go on. Knock yourself out.

- A thousand pound.
- Hm?

- It's a thousand pound.
- Yeah.

Isn't that what we agreed?

Yeah.

What am I supposed
to tell my dad, then?

Tell him he's an irrelevant old man.
And no-one's scared of him any more.

And you... you're a f*cking
pretender. Look at you.

Please.

Now, your little brother, the one
who k*lled the gavver, f*cking hell.

I can't go back with a
grand. He's got more bollocks

than the lot of
you put together.

Now f*ck off before
I lose my patience.

Empty the peter, now!

OK.Yeah.

I want everything in that safe.

Sure.

Now, move.

I said move!

Well, come on, then.

- The whole thing, yeah?
- Yeah.

Open it.

- Agh!
- f*cking...! Agh!

(HE GROANS)

You're finished, you mug!

(g*nsh*t)

sh*t!

I'll f*cking get you for this.

Sorry. OK?

You're f*cked.

You're f*cked!

Who the f*ck are you?

(ENGINE STARTS) Stay shtoom.

If you wanna get out of here.

(ENGINE REVS)

Oi! Oi!

f*cking hell!

Who the f*ck's that?

It's funny seeing
our boys change.

One minute, they're off
gallivanting around.

The next, they're
back in the fold.

Making moves.

I'm proud of you, Alb.

It was smart bringing Gene
back into the family like that.

He thinks in a way
his brothers don't.

It's all up there.

He might open the door.

But it'll be me
walking through it.

Truth is, Alb...

I don't give a
f*ck who opens it.

I just wanna be
back in the room.

You will be, Ma.

You will be.

♪ HUMAN LEAGUE: Mirror Man ♪

f*cking state of this
place - it's a khazi.

Welcome. We are
honoured you came.

This is my father, Diego.

Tia Maria.

It's like wine, but...
a little bit posher.

(CHATTER)

Carl, babe, don't do
that. Give a sh*t.

Look at us.

Sat here with our clans,
enjoying each other's company,

having a nice time.

You and me...

come from nothing.

But we've got...

family, freedom.

You ever think about moving on?

I mean... Spain's a big country.

I-I'm just saying.

You know, you wander.

That's your game, right?

Right?

(HE SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

(HE SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

So this whole community
live on the land?

Mostly everyone lives in town.

But my father,
he'll never leave.

What about you guys?
What do you want?

Your family owns the
deeds to this land.

But we have history.

So I hope we can all
get along in peace.

That's why I asked you here.

Look, our accents
might be different

but our history's
closer than you think.

Me and my family have lived
on the outside all our lives,

we just wanna live in peace too.

Maybe even prosper together?

- Salute.
- Salute.

You all right, love?

Hm.

Funny lot, aren't they?

You seem comfortable here.

Good people, these.

I should know.

Didn't know you were Gypsy.

Romany.

Before I met Alb.

That's why they call me Mint Ma.

Used to graft the
herbs up Kings Cross.

Full of surprises, me.

Mm.

'Her name's not Cindy
Carter. It's Mercy Wynters.'

Last registered occupant of the
address you followed Kelly Lord to.

Ten years for a firearms
offence, but no other arrests.

Registered to the same address.

That's the little sh*t - who stole my car.
- Mm.

Hid adoptive name
is Eddie Smith.

But his birth name is Wynters.

He's her son.

16.

Just out of borstal.

Have you got anything else - on the mother?
- No.

She dropped off the face of the
earth after she got released.

So she changed her
name to Cindy Carter

and she's on the run
with a wanted Lord boy.

I mean, what the
f*ck's that about, guv?

Sadly, you're never
gonna get to find out.

Sorry, I don't understand, sir.

Unauthorised surveillance.

Intimidating a witness.

Putting a fellow
officer's life at risk.

You want to get another
one k*lled, do you?

And for what?

Are you any closer to
arresting Gene Lord?

Hm?

No, sir.

Kelly Lord?

No, sir.

Cos he's left for Spain.

To meet his brother in Alabasas,

where he can't be arrested.

So you threw away your
whole career for nothing.

No, sir.

For Russo... Oh,
for f*ck's sake!

This is what happens when you
let a woman do a man's job.

You're suspended without
pay until further notice.

c**t!

I used to love this place.

My old man brought me in here...

just the two of us.

I was allowed one
knickerbocker glory...

but had to keep it on
the QT from me brothers.

Just like a little thing
between me and Dad.

Where's the rest of
your family, then?

Well, you must have a dad.

My dad died when I was a kid.

It's just me and my mum.

At least I thought it was.

I see.

Well... thanks.

You know, for...

what you did.

Thieving skills come
in handy sometimes.

No, I'm serious.

If you're serious,
then take me with you.

To Spain.

You owe me.

I just wanna see my mum.

I wish I could.

See, I've gotta go
through the slips mate.

The police'll be looking for me.

Here.

Go on.

(LAUGHTER AND CHATTERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Mr Lord, come join me.

No, you're all right, mate. Not
unless you've got any Boney M.

Come on.

Senora Lord, will you
join me for this dance?

Carly, hold this, I'm on.

All right.

Ma.

Looking good, Ma.

Go on, Ma.

(CHEERING)

So beautiful.

Enough!

Gypo...

I want you off my land.

Albert. Nitto!

- Shut it, woman!
- Dad.

You take your caravans and you
f*ck off back to Rome, Pikey!

Ahora metiera de la ciudad!

Dad!

Hey! Que, que, que?

f*ck off.

Leonard, the blade.

Mm-mm.

You come back when you're
not with your friends.

(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

Peace, you said.

(SPEAKS IN SPANISH)

- Lola.
- Gene... Lola, please... leave it.

Leave it.

What have you done, Dad?
You just f*cked everything.

He's got his hands
all over your mother!

Right, let's get the f*ck out
of this sh*thole. Come on.

Esta bien, esta bien.

Come on, let's go.

For f*ck's sake. Now what?

♪ BRONSKI BEAT: Smalltown Boy ♪

Do you really listen to Boney M?

♪ By the rivers of Babylon... ♪

Alb, I know we hardly
know each other, but...

I just wanted to say...

you've got a good family.

Yeah.

The way you brought
your kids up.

The way you are with your wife.

They all look up
to you, you know.

It's nice.

I make you right, you know,
what you did last night.

You're a proud man...

a protective man.

And let's have it, right,

them Gitanos weren't showing
you the respect you deserve.

They don't know who you are,

what you're about.

Do they?

Leonard!

Leonard!

♪ ..Run away, turn away
Run away, turn away

♪ Run away... ♪

(MUSIC STOPS) Oi!

You still got that yogga?

- What?
- The g*n we clumped off those Dutch mugs?

Cos they ain't coming
back anytime soon.

Pugged under the pool table.

Good boy. And I need my general.

And he's gotta go,
that f*cking Diego.

Two b*ll*ts, back
of the canister.

Dad, them Gitanos are mob
handed. We'll get weighed in.

Which is why we'll
surprise him, dinlo.

Just you keep using your hands.
Leave the brains to your old man.

(CLICK)

f*ck!

Aagh!

(SHOUTING) sh*t!

f*cking idiot, Leonard!

Leonard!

Dad, you all right? Let's
get the f*ck out of here!

The g*n was empty.

(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

Sin verguenza!

Vete de aqui de mi casa!

(COUGHING)

Do you want me to f*cking die?

Eh?

Is that it?

f*ck!

I swear to God, the g*n was
loaded. I f*cking checked it.

If the g*n was loaded, then the
mug would be dead, wouldn't he?!

Stop, you'll muller him!
Shut it, you charley brass!

f*cking stop, Dad!

I won't stop!

You're a f*cking embarrassment!
Look at you! You're pathetic.

I brought you up to be a man.
You're too busy lifting weights,

listening to Bronski Beat.
- What's wrong with you?! - Albert!

Enough!

I'm all right, I'm all right.

I'll do us a cup of tea.

Sweetheart.

What the f*ck did I just say?!

- OK, babe.
- I'm all right.

I'm so sorry, darling.

Got you.

(SLIDING DOOR OPENS)

I want to go home, Ma.

It hurts, doesn't it?

Not just your face, but...

deep inside, right here.

I've always stood by you, Alb.

Even when you were down.

Those times you couldn't
get out of the feather.

Family is everything to me.

You know that.

I didn't marry a man who can't stand
to see his wife have a good time...

who sits around pitying himself.

Wondering why his life didn't
turn out the way he hoped.

No.

I married a dynamic...

a charming man.

A man who saved me from hell...

who could protect me...

a man who had vision.

Gene's right.

There's something here for us.

That place, on this land.
Call it intuition...

but I can feel it.

There's a future here.

A fortune too.

I've given you
everything, Albert.

But I will not sit back and watch
this opportunity pass us by.

I'm not going home.

I'm staying here.

And I suggest, if you want me...

if you want this family,

that you do whatever it takes,
everything in your power,

to make it right again.

Otherwise, you'll
grow old alone.

(DOOR SHUTS)

Gene...

my boy.

You fancy coming
for a drive with me?

I didn't give the best
account of myself last night.

So I was thinking that we could go
back up to the Gitanos and say...

and say, let's start again.

They trust you.

So do I.

I need you with me.

My general.

Papa...

We're just here to talk.

We've nothing to say to you.

What he did...

it's unforgiveable, I know that.

But we have a lot more to
gain from friendship than w*r.

You live on this land.

We own it.

So we need to find a way to
live side by side in peace.

Dad?

What the boy said...

we need to learn to get on.

I was insulted.

Where I'm from, a man
can't let that slide.

I was protecting my family.

You understand that.

I made a rick, it was a mistake.

I have met... bad men...

stupid men, arrogant men.

All gentlemen,
compared with you.

You say you protect your family.

You know nothing about family!

Even your boy can see that.

You're not a father...

not a husband!

You'll never build your
hotel on this land.

Please.

I'm sorry.

I need to make this right.

I... truly am sorry.

Get the f*ck off my land.

You did really well, Dad.

Here you are.

Hey.

Well, he actually did it.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, well, I'm not sure he is.

Who gives a f*ck what he thinks?

Right, I'm gonna tell
Ma, she'll be happy.

Listen...

there's nothing in this world
I wouldn't do for you, heart.

I know.

♪ We are young

♪ Heartache to heartache

♪ We stand

♪ No promises, no demands

♪ Love is a b*ttlefield... ♪

I love you.

♪ We are strong

♪ No-one can tell us we're wrong

♪ Searching our
hearts for so long

♪ Both of us knowing

♪ Love is a b*ttlefield

♪ We are young

♪ Heartache to heartache

♪ We stand

♪ No promises, no demands

♪ Love is a b*ttlefield

♪ We are strong

♪ No-one can tell us we're wrong

♪ Searching our
hearts for so long

♪ Both of us knowing

♪ Love is a b*ttlefield. ♪

(WHISTLING)