01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

-[both grunt]

-[Darth Dev] I'll give you one chance

to avoid an absolutely

ludicrous amount of pain.

Tell me what you saw in the Jedi temple.

[Sig] I can't believe this is happening.

The entire galaxy has changed.

Just a few hours ago,

we were nerf herders.

You're not a Sith Lord.

You're my brother, Dev.

Darth Dev! Devastator!

I am not your brother.

We are not gonna tell you anything.

Perhaps my apprentice

will be more convincing.

Meet Darth Rey.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Rey is the ultimate hero.

She defeated the Emperor.

She saved Kylo Ren from the dark side.

-She

-She's tired of hearing you talk.

[shouts]

I am really struggling

with this heroes-are-villains thing.

And I'm struggling with

not ripping you apart piece by piece.

Can I, Darth Devastator?

-Please.

-Soon.

Or perhaps we should go to work

on your little Rebel friend.

[shouts, grunts]

-[gasps]

-[grunts, groans]

-[groans]

-Wait, don't!

-All I found in the Jedi temple was this.

-[shouts]

Cornerstone. At last!

For so long, I've searched for it.

Give it to me!

[gasps]

Who are you? How did you do that?

Jedi Master Bobarian Afol.

Wait a second,

you were the guy in the temple.

[screams] Oh! Time to go.

You have a lightsaber. Fight them.

-Yeah, Jedi Bob.

-Don't call me Jedi Bob.

And lightsaber fighting

isn't really my thing,

so now is when we run.

[stammers] Come on, run faster!

I thought Jedi were supposed to be nice.

[shouts, whimpers]

[Sig pants, shouts]

[Yesi] Watch out!

[screaming]

[Sig] Okay, that was insane!

-That was insane, right?

-Now, come on.

We can make it to the spaceport.

My ship is there.

-[Servo speaking droid]

-Servo!

-You dramatic droid, you're okay.

-[speaking droid]

Who do you think told me

about you and your brother?

This droid has a lot to say.

[Sig stammers]

How does he remember the old galaxy?

[Jedi Bob] He was trapped inside the

temple when it collapsed, just like us.

We were shielded from the change.

I can't believe this other galaxy stuff

is all true.

Now, come on, we're almost there.

[all yelp]

You're not going anywhere.

No! I stole that ship fair and square,

come on.

Oh, boy. Okay,

I guess we could take my ship.

Ship? What ship?

This ship.

Yep, swirl it around, yep.

Ooh, and that goes there. [grunts]

That little one right in there. [grunts]

Yeah!

-Now get in.

-[Sig] What about my brother?

I have to save him.

He is not your brother anymore.

He is a Sith Lord who happens

to look like your brother.

There is nothing good left inside of him.

That's not true. I know my brother.

You wanna stay here

and find out the hard way?

[shrieks] Fine.

So, do you know how to fly this thing?

I got this, okay?

I'm the fastest pilot

in the galaxy, old timer.

-Loving the confidence.

-Okay.

So should we go over basic interstellar

travel safety instructions now or

-Punch it!

-[chuckles]

Oh, come on!

[troopers shouting]

[shouts]

You're not the only one

who can use the Force, Jedi.

-Whoa!

-Jedi Bob, do something!

If you keep calling me that,

I am going to let us crash.

[groans] Impressive.

I've heard of upgrades,

but not usually while you're in the middle

of flying the ship.

We're losing power. We're gonna crash!

[sighs]

I don't I don't even know

what's going on right now.

There's always another way to build.

[Yesi] We're running out of ground.

-Don't stop.

-But

Trust me.

[Sig screams]

[screaming]

-Quadjumpers?

-Well, you said you were fast.

-Now prove it.

-With pleasure.

No! [groans]

-[laughs] Yeah!

-Yes!

Listen up, Sig.

There's only one way to say this:

You messed up.

You blew it. You goofed.

Jedi Bob, that's like

three different ways.

Also, what exactly did I even do?

When you removed the Cornerstone,

you created a new galaxy.

It's like all the component pieces

of every person and every world

and all time got shaken up

and then put back together.

In my world, the Empire has been defeated.

The good guys won. My brother isn't evil.

Yesi, your dad is alive.

[gasps]

We've got to make everything go back

to the way it was.

Will you help us?

All I know is we're losing this w*r,

and maybe this is how I can save everyone,

even if they don't remember it.

I'm in.

Show me the Cornerstone.

Now, concentrate on it.

Close your eyes.

I'll try,

but I doubt anything will happen.

Just try it.

Think of something important to you.

Look.

Just as I thought,

you're a natural Force Builder.

It all makes sense.

Force Builder?

Force Builders are a secret sect

of the Jedi dedicated to creation.

But as shines the light,

so emerges the dark.

Was that poetic? I like to put

a little flourish in my storytelling,

you know, fancy it up.

Look, the point is Sith Breakers appeared.

A sect of the Force Builders

devoted to the dark side.

Dedicated not to building

but to tearing down.

As these Sith Breakers battled

the Jedi over time,

the Force Builders realized the very

fabric of the galaxy was eroding.

The Force Builders created a Cornerstone

to hold it together.

As long as the temple was intact,

the galaxy could not be unmade.

-Whoa.

-I was the temple's sworn protector.

Who knows how long I waited alone,

but I failed, and the galaxy was reset.

Nice going, Sig.

So what can we do?

The legends say

a new Force Builder temple appears

when the old one is destroyed.

Somewhere out there in the galaxy,

there is a new unfinished temple

where we might be able to use

the power of the Cornerstone.

To put things back the way they were.

Sure, kid.

So, are you in?

Me? This feels like a job for Jedi Bob.

If only, but because you had

the incredibly bright idea

to pull out the Cornerstone,

it is permanently bonded to you

and you alone!

Which, of course, means

I am stuck with you too!

I'm sorry about that, Jedi Bob.

I'm not much of a teacher,

but we've got no choice.

You must become a true Force Builder, Sig.

But I'm not the hero.

Dev was supposed to be the hero.

I'm just the guy who knows the stories.

Sorry, kid.

This time you are the story.

What do you say, Sig?

Are you ready to be a Force Builder?

I think probably no.

Too bad. Time to train!

[Darth Rey]

Our search has yielded nothing.

There's no sign of the Rebels.

The Cornerstone was within my grasp,

and that fool Sig took it.

He had the audacity to claim

to be my brother.

I've been alone my entire life,

that's how I like it.

We must teach him a harsh lesson.

Put a call out to every bounty hunter

in the sector.

Bring me Sig Greebling.

This is Yesi Scala.

Is anyone from the Rebellion listening?

Porkins? I know you're there, Porkins.

Pick up.

If this is about what happened

back on Corellia,

that was mostly not my fault.

Okay, Sig. To begin your training,

let's start with something simple.

Something familiar.

It's time to upgrade your battery droid.

-[speaking droid]

-Servo's great the way he is, thank you.

They don't make 'em like they used to.

[chuckles] He can barely hold a charge!

Look around, Sig.

We've got rocket boosters,

blaster upgrades, personal shields.

Just fix him up a little.

Okay, Servo, just hold still.

This won't hurt a bit.

[inhales, exhales deeply]

Good, Sig.

Feel the points of connection.

Not bad.

What did you choose?

I gave him thrusters

so he can go a little faster.

[speaking droid]

Actually, I reckon you gave me

the capacity for speech.

Servo, you can talk?

You upgraded my linguistic abilities.

Yay! Thanks, Sig.

You're a legend, mate.

-[laughs]

-Um, no problem, Servo.

Hey, Yesi, Yesi, guess what? Look at me!

-[shouts]

-Not exactly what I had in mind.

Hey! That's not very nice.

Sorry.

It's not your fault. [sighs] It's mine.

I'm the last person who should

be trying to help you.

I was on Fennesa by myself a long time.

Maybe I got a little too used

to being alone.

The Jedi just left you there?

It's a long story.

Let's just say I felt like

the loneliest person in the galaxy,

-but that's a tale

-[screams]

We're under attack.

Hey, uh, does anyone need a charge,

by the way?

Not now, Servo.

We need to get out of here.

Sorry, sorry. You're right, you're right.

Wrong timing.

Um, what about now?

[shouts]

Oh, no. We've got the worst bounty hunters

in the galaxy after us.

The most vicious, bloodthirsty

little monsters in the universe.

Who?

[speaks Ewokese]

Ewoks.

[speaking Ewokese]

Ewok bounty hunters?

And to think I wanted to pet one.

[Ewoks speaking Ewokese]

[chuckles]

[speaking Ewokese]

[screams]

[chuckles]

[screams]

[screaming]

Hold on, I see an opening.

[Sig, Jedi Bob shout]

More bounty hunters?

I know that ship.

That's a Naboo Royal Cruiser.

That means

Oh, no.

[C-3PO] Uh, pardon me?

You really ought to surrender.

The odds of me not destroying you

are approximately four billion, 325-to-1.

Why did C-3PO tell us the odds?

That was just cruel.

I am afraid there is no escape.

This old hunk of space junk

can't take much more of this.

Dear me, you are in trouble now.

-There goes the hyperdrive.

-We have to get out of here.

We don't have enough power.

[Servo] Did someone say

they needed a charge?

I think I heard that.

You walking spark plug! You did it.

We've got one jump,

but the navicomputer is fried,

and I don't know where it's gonna take us.

The Force will guide us.

It will?

Here's hoping!

Get us out of here!

Oh, how annoying.

[Yesi] Engines are gone.

Everybody, brace for impact.

We're going down.

[shouts]

-Sig, we need to do something.

-[alarm blaring]

-But I-I don't know w

-Don't think. Do.

Clear your mind. Trust yourself.

[laughs] I did it.

Good thing I was here to help.

Oh, I could have done it myself,

but it was important for your training.

Good work, Sig. I mean, it's a start,

basically a terrible start,

but a start all the same.

But hey, how did those

bounty hunters find us?

Ugh! They must have been

scanning Rebel frequencies.

I'm sorry. I messed up again.

The truth is, the Rebellion isn't exactly,

um [clicks tongue]

Thrilled with me right now.

They say I'm reckless just because

I accidentally gave away the location

of a secret Rebel base.

How do you accidentally

sell out an entire base?

Well, I was smuggling food

and medicine to the Rebellion,

but I didn't realize

the Empire put a tracker on my ship.

Normally, I would have checked,

but I was in a hurry,

and we don't know what happened

to the people in the base.

Sometimes going too fast is as bad

as going too slow, Yesi Scala.

Oh, yes. That's very wise.

-Yes. That's wise.

-[grunts]

The only question is

where in the galaxy are we?

"Mos Eisley Marina"?

We're on Tatooine.

In my galaxy, this was the home

of the most powerful Jedi to ever live.

Luke Skywalker.

Maybe he's still here somewhere.

Maybe he can help us

locate the new Jedi temple.

-If only we can find him.

-[announcer] Max Rebo maintains the lead,

but tailing behind him

is none other than Luke Skywalker!

See you around, kid.

[speaks alien language]

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [laughs]

Better luck next time, Max Rebo.

That's the guy who's gonna help us?

He used the Force to cheat

and win the race.

Trust me, he's more capable than he looks.

Go, Luke. Who is he? He's the best.

Who's Max? He's a loser.

Luke wins.

[whimpers]

[groans]

Uh, no autographs.

Uh, Mr. Skywalker. Excuse me.

I-I want to talk to you about

about how you just won that race.

How I won the race?

You mean fair and square?

Hmm, if that's what you want to call it.

Okay, okay. Keep your voices down.

I know a place we can talk.

[cantina music playing]

[speaks alien language]

[laughing]

The Mos Eisley Marina Cantina.

[speaks alien language]

-He likes you.

-Well, that's-that's very

-That's very nice. I like him too.

-I like you also.

Well, thank you so mu

I'm gonna see if anyone can help us

get off this planet.

Now, whatever you think you saw

during the race

I know what I saw.

I saw you use the Force

to disable the other podracer.

You're a naughty little Jedi.

[scoffs] I don't even know what a Jedi is

and this "Force" you're talking about.

So, I can make things happen a little bit.

Big deal.

But it is a big deal.

At le At least in the galaxy

where I come from.

Huh? The galaxy you come from?

[stammers] This might take a minute

to explain.

Uh, let me see if I have this right.

In your galaxy, my dad is mostly evil

until he turns good for like five minutes

and then dies.

My own nephew betrays me

and kills most of my best friends,

and I spend decades alone on an island

with something called Porgs

because I get super sad,

and then I come back and use the Force

so hard that it kills me?

And you want me to help you?

That's really your pitch? [chuckles]

Sorry, hard pass.

Good job, Sig. You really sold it.

Well, when he puts it that way [sighs]

But we still need your help, Luke.

[chuckles] Forget it.

I've got it good here.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe

we don't want you

to put your galaxy back together?

That maybe we're happier

in this version of the galaxy?

Are you listening to yourself?

You're Luke Skywalker,

the greatest hero of all time.

No, I'm just Luke from Tatooine,

and that's all I ever wanna be.

[grunts, speaks alien language]

I really thought he'd help us.

Eh. Being a hero is easier

when you don't know the cost.

-So why do you do it?

-Me? [chuckles]

-Oh, I'm no hero.

-Of course you are.

You're a Jedi Knight.

Sig, the Force doesn't work that way.

The dark side is loud and obvious

like a big, mean Gamorrean kicking you

in the head over and over.

But the light side, the light side

of the Force is just a whisper

in the back of your mind.

[yelps] The whisper in my mind

is screaming right now.

-What the

-Don't talk to him.

What are you yelling about?

-This is

-My name is Maul.

Hello. It's like Paul, but with an M.

It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.

Don't be charming with me.

Sig, what is your problem?

My problem is this guy is trouble.

Come on, Yesi, I'll explain later.

Real nice, Sig.

I was trying to see if Maul

could help us contact the Rebellion.

In my galaxy, this guy is pure evil.

Sith. I don't trust him.

-[beeping]

-[Yesi] Oh.

-I don't love that.

-I told you.

We've got to get out of here.

-Servo! JB! Time to leave!

-[Servo chuckling]

Aw, really?

If you think we are doing initials

with each other, you are sorely mistaken.

I do not do initials.

Hello, there.

-Hello, there.

-Hello, there.

Hello, there.

Maul sold us out. I knew it.

[Darth Rey]

I'm going to say this one time.

Give me the Cornerstone.

-[groans]

-[Jedi Bob groans]

Do we have to do this part?

I am not great at sabers.

You're very cynical for a Jedi.

I have been around the block.

I'll tell you about it sometime.

[chuckles, grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[troopers yelling]

[groans, grunts]

[Darth Rey]

Your lightsaber skills are lacking.

[imitating Darth Rey]

Oh, your lightsaber skills are lacking.

[normal] I'm doing my best.

-[chuckles]

-[groans]

[Darth Rey grunting]

[groans]

I haven't k*lled a Jedi in years.

Aw, well, then I guess

I'm going to spoil your lucky day.

Oh. And how will you do that?

By distracting you with clever banter.

[groaning, grunting]

-[Darth Rey grunts, groans]

-We got her.

[Jedi Bob] Sig.

Good thinking. [chuckles]

You're learning.

-[chuckles] Who's the prisoner now, lady?

-[Darth Rey strains]

[whirring]

Wow. The Millennium Falcon,

it's coming to help us.

Well, that is extremely ominous.

[Yesi] Oh, Sith.

I guess in this galaxy

you can have more than two Sith at a time.

That's cool and terrifying.

[Sig] This is wild!

Darth Rose Tico.

Darth Nubs.

Darth Kit Fisto.

Darth Hammerhead

I'm sorry, I don't remember your name.

[gasps]

Mesa going to hurt yousa.

[Sig] D D Darth Jar Jar?

[Darth Dev] It seems your beginner's luck

has run out, brother.

[chuckling] Aw. You called me brother.

That's progress.

[scoffs] No, I [grunts]

I was mocking the absurdity of the notion.

[stammers] You are nothing to me. Nothing.

Aw. Mean.

Whatever your pathetic brother

might have been to you, I am so much more.

There is one right way

to build this galaxy, and that's my way.

[grunts]

With the power of the Cornerstone,

I can will my enemies away.

Deconstruct Rebel planets

and turn them into lifeless wastelands.

Blink stars out of existence

with a thought.

-[Force rumbles]

-[chuckles]

Only my perfect order will remain.

-[yelps]

-Now, give it to me.

-Sig!

-[groans]

[Jedi Bob] No, Dev.

I can't let you have the Cornerstone.

You could break apart

the fabric of the galaxy!

End everything!

Hmm.

Well, that's a risk

I'm more than willing to take, Jedi.

Destroy them.

[grunting]

This new galaxy is so messed up.