01x02 - Ejaculation

[bunniefuu]

"Adolescent sexual arousal

takes place when the body enters

the reproductive age."

"It's a condition in which they're

physically and mentally ready."

"Females aged between ten and 14 begin

to develop their breasts."

"Their voices become high-pitched,

and their hips widen."

"Hair starts growing around their pubis,

armpits, and genitals,

and they begin to menstruate."

IN 1978,

SEX EDUCATION WAS INTRODUCED

IN THAI SCHOOLS

"Males aged between 13 and 14

start to grow hair on their arms"

Miss.

I've had hair since I was eight.

Quiet.

"Males aged between 13 and 14

start to grow hair on their arms, legs,

pubis, armpits, and genitals,

and start to develop facial hair."

"Their voices deepen."

"The discharge of their seminal

seminal fluid in their sleep is called

a wet dream,

which is caused by sexual dreams."

Wet dreams.

Quiet!

Don. Come up here.

Read the rest out loud.

Stand here.

REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS

"Sex Sexual arousal

is natural."

"Once it happens,

it must be handled appropriately."

"The best way to control sexual desire is

to be mindful of it."

"You may deal with it

by practicing meditation

and adhering

to

the good customs

and beautiful traditions

of Thailand."

Don!

Make it go away right now!

Don't use my book to cover it.

Give it back to me.

Hey!

Hey, Don nutted!

Don!

-Hey, look!

-Bro, Don nutted!

It's all over his shorts.

Don nutted!

Dude, I just can't!

Hey, Don!

Don!

Dear Dr. cl*max.

My name is D. I'm 15.

Something's been troubling me

a lot lately.

I can't control my sexual organ.

I can't stop it

from ejaculating.

What should I do?

My friends are now calling me

Don.

Hey, Dad. Don't come in.

Did something happen at school?

Your mom said you've been acting strange.

It's nothing, Dad.

You can talk to me if anything's wrong.

I've been through it all.

I said everything's fine, Dad.

Can you leave me alone?

Son,

are you jerking off?

No, Dad, I'm not!

It's not something embarrassing.

I've also jerked off before.

I said leave me alone, Dad!

Did we make the right or wrong decision?

That's Dr. cl*max.

Really? That's him?

But these letters are proof

that we've made the right decision.

Doc.

Hey.

Hey, you've become famous, Doc.

All of these have been sent to you.

These letters are addressed to

Dr. cl*max, not me.

This is also for Dr. cl*max.

Dr. cl*max.

Dr. cl*max. They're all for Dr. cl*max.

Who is Dr. cl*max?

It's your pen name.

Pen name? Who came up with it?

I did.

Is there a problem?

What right did you have

to change my name without my consent?

Calm down, Doc.

Right, using a pen name

for this kind of column is more exciting.

And this name

My name is Nattawut.

I'm not a Westerner.

Trust me.

You'll thank me later.

Hey. Doc.

He's unbelievable.

RUANG HERALD

Thanks.

Let's get this and this.

Hey, hold on.

You usually only buy comic books.

Now you're buying a newspaper.

What's going on?

Well, we need to educate ourselves

and grow up.

It's because of Dr. cl*max, isn't it?

-Here, take this.

-All right.

Damn kids. Bet they'll only read one page.

I doubt they'll read the next page.

Come on, welcome. Okay, thanks.

What would you like, sweetie? Okay.

Thanks. What would you like, beautiful?

"Dr. cl*max."

"Dr. cl*max."

"Dr. cl*max."

What a perverted doctor.

Our society is so rotten these days!

Throw them all away.

Don't let me see them in the house again.

You're home?

You're home early today.

What's going on, Mom?

Nothing.

I just asked them to throw away

those perverted newspapers.

Mom, but

I'm reading Thong Tien's serial fiction.

You're still reading stories like kids do?

Read something else.

I don't want anyone in my house

to read the obscene column

of that perverted doctor.

Don't let me find out whose son he is.

He must have terrible parents.

How did they raise their child

to become such a perverted doctor?

Welcome to the evening news

on the first workday

I hid it for you. I was worried

you wouldn't get to read it.

-Thank you.

-Sure.

Of course, today's evening news

will present you

both Thailand and abroad.

Let's begin with the announcement from

the Thai Society Protection Association.

Hello.

As the president

of the Thai Society Protection Association

and a good citizen of this nation,

I can't turn a blind eye

to this dangerous threat.

The column "The cl*max Question"

is undoubtedly the cancer of our society.

I'm okay.

Dr. cl*max's column

is turning a newspaper

into a porn magazine,

selling sex blatantly

and shamelessly.

It's written by a quack

who is too cowardly

to reveal his identity.

I don't know

what else I should call Dr. cl*max

except

Dr. Limp d*ck.

We can't let this kind of person

run free in our society.

The Bangkok Express should address

questions raised in society,

declare its standpoint,

and be brave enough to announce

who Dr. cl*max is.

When I told you to boost our sales,

I didn't mean this.

Dr. Pornchai condemned us, Choo.

But I think our sales have

really spiked, sir.

We're so close

to beating the Siam Bulletin.

Look at the overwhelming response proven

by the number of letters we've received.

I think they're the people

we should pay attention to.

Plus, our column

is really helpful, sir.

You know what my wife said?

I guess I don't.

She asked if I wasn't ashamed

in front of our teenage son

and if I wanted him

to be bullied at school.

She called me when I was in Hong Kong

and called me a son of a b*tch.

What are they saying?

"Son of a b*tch."

-Did you just insult me?

-No. You asked me.

I've had it with you.

Hey.

They're quiet now.

EXECUTIVE CHAIRMAN

Get back to work.

Hold on, Tien.

The column gets to continue,

but the boss is only giving it a month.

If we can't beat the Siam Bulletin,

the column will be discontinued.

One month?

Will we make it?

We have no choice.

But keep it from Dr. Nat for now.

I'm afraid this will affect his writing.

This time, we have to take a gamble

and publish the column daily.

Can you get someone

to deliver the letters to Dr. Nat?

I'll do it.

I'll deliver the letters to Dr. Nat.

Always eavesdropping, you brat.

Have you finished proofreading?

Yes.

Not yet.

Hurry up and finish it.

-Yes, sir.

-So damn nosy.

Hey, Linda.

-Go.

-All right.

So we get to keep the column?

Since I'm done for today, I'll get going.

Hold on, Linda.

NATTAWUT CLINIC

THE cl*max QUESTION

"Dr. Limp d*ck."

Who are you talking to?

No one.

So, is the clinic already closed?

Yes.

I owe you an apology

for naming you Dr. cl*max

without your consent.

You're right.

Can I make it up to you with dinner?

You're right.

I shouldn't use my real name.

You're right. I should be thanking you.

Look,

anything unprecedented

will always be questioned

and resisted in the beginning.

But look at the amount of letters

sent to you.

The world has changed.

Your column is something people want.

But

answering questions about sex is still new

and sensitive in our country.

It's not new.

The elders in our country

just don't want to accept reality.

Choo asked me to help you

select the letters for the column,

so I've brought them to you.

Here.

He probably thought

women help make things less problematic.

But I think he's wrong.

So where do you want to work?

At home, the publishing house, or here?

For such dangerous work,

I should do it at the publishing house.

I don't want to risk it.

Well then, welcome to the Bangkok Express.

You said you wanted to thank me, right?

Yes, I'll treat you to a meal.

What would you like to eat?

Well, if possible, would you mind

providing me with after-hours service?

I'm convinced you're someone

with a modern mind.

I'm sorry for taking up your time.

I haven't had a PV examination

for a while.

It's okay.

All right. May I?

In your line of work you must get to look

at countless numbers of these every day.

Well, I regard it

as just a type of epithelial tissue.

But you must've seen so many

that you can grade them, right?

Yes.

We're finished.

Everything seems fine.

You take very good care of yourself.

Everything looked very beautiful.

I mean, it looked very normal.

Grade?

It's an A.

Wow. I feel quite proud, Doctor.

But after seeing so many of them,

you must feel like having one, right?

What?

-See you at the publishing house.

-Please see yourself out.

Our society has kept a lid

on sexual matters for too long.

Such behavior has led to

the accumulation of social problems,

such as the case of a woman

getting g*ng r*ped in Phrom Phiram,

which was big news recently.

It's an example of problems

contributed to by a society

that has repressed sexual matters.

THE cl*max QUESTION TO BE PUBLISHED DAILY

The Bangkok Express is concerned

about all social issues.

We completely understand

that sex-related problems aren't nonsense

but are problems that need answers.

Even the government has acknowledged

the urgency of this problem

and introduced sex education in schools,

so the Bangkok Express has decided

to respond to the policy

with "The cl*max Question"

because sexual happiness means

domestic happiness.

If bedroom problems are solved,

sexual problems will certainly disappear

from our society.

The Bangkok Express is proud

to play a part

in addressing sexual problems

in an informative and creative way.

Therefore, we've decided

to publish "The cl*max Question" daily

by popular demand.

Please read it every day

to your heart's content.

Choosak Jaithong.

You want trouble, don't you?

Fine.

BANGKOK EXPRESS

Master!

Master. Come!

Hurry up.

Master.

Master, follow me.

You can't enter.

Please, I can't let you inside.

Come on.

Hold on, please.

Hello, how may I help you?

Where is Dr. cl*max?

Come on.

-You can't enter.

-You can't enter.

Sir, please stop.

Get inside! Go!

You're not allowed in here.

-Excuse me.

-You can't go in there.

Sir

Hello, sir. What are you doing here?

Bring Dr. cl*max out here now.

Doctor who? I don't know him, sir.

What is this?

Are these letters for Dr. cl*max?

No, they're not.

Don't tell me

a little punk like you is Dr. cl*max.

No, sir.

You've misunderstood big-time. It's

-Give it to me.

-Hey, sir! Please!

Sir, please calm down. Please let go.

Whoever holds this box must be

Dr. cl*max, huh?

If it's not you,

then bring Dr. Limp d*ck out here.

And what if I don't?

What will happen?

Try it.

Well then, Dr. Pornchai, could you please

turn around and flash your best smile

for the camera?

Boy, keep sh**ting.

Make sure he's in focus.

Yes.

If you still want to look for Dr. cl*max,

go ahead and do as you please

so I can interview you

about trespassing on private property

when you're not a police officer.

I think a great number

of Bangkok Express readers

would be interested.

Fine.

Today I'll back off and leave.

But don't be so c*ck.

Soon,

I'll drag that perverted doctor out.

Please do, because I'm

a member of the press.

The more you make a fuss,

the more we will become famous.

With all due respect.

Pol, see the guests out.

Yes, sir.

This way, please, "Doc."

Come along.

Come on.

This way, please.

You guys. Everything is fine now.

Get back to work.

-Boy.

-Yes?

Be honest with me.

You pressed the shutter

like a wagtail wags its tail.

-Did you replace the film in time?

-Oh, come on!

-Someone of my level? There's no film.

-I knew it, dumbass.

f*ck, I wish there were filmless cameras

so I could expose that bigheaded doctor.

You're dreaming.

Maybe in 100 years.

That f*cking doctor is so annoying.

He gave me a headache.

NEWS ARCHIVAL STORAGE ROOM

Do you think we can move now?

I'm getting hard.

What?

I mean, my legs are getting hard,

as in stiff.

I'm getting cramps.

I see.

Well then,

shall we help each other

push it up?

Okay.

You should work with the art department

in the adjacent building for now.

Permpol will take the letters to you.

Linda has to sort the letters

for you anyway.

I'll leave Dr. Nat in your care.

Sure.

And when you come here,

you must hide your identity.

Don't let anyone know it's you. Got it?

Like a spy, right?

You'll be choking on smoke.

DARKROOM

Boy, your drink.

Your red soda.

Hey, don't go too fast.

You're still learning.

-Don't drop them.

-Okay.

-Your oliang.

-Thanks.

-Sure.

-Be careful.

-Hey, Pol.

-Your tea.

-Thanks.

-No worries.

Here you go.

PRODUCTION, PHOTOGRAPHY, ART, TYPESETTING

Hello, guys.

Hi there.

Nhong, here's your usual drink.

Here you go.

-Safe travels.

-Okay.

ART DIRECTOR

Here you go.

Thanks, Pol.

DW, sir.

And Thai iced tea with extra milk

for my beautiful Linda.

-Put it down.

-Hey.

-What?

-It's done.

Please, bro.

Nhong, how many times

have I told you not to smoke indoors?

Well,

if you all smoke,

please don't stop because of me.

Can you handle it?

VENEREAL DISEASES

OPEN MON - SA

10:00 A.M. - 3:30 P.M.

And every time I put pen to paper,

responding to the letters

I transform into

Dr. cl*max.

DR. cl*max

Dear Dr. cl*max.

My name's Lek. I have delayed ejaculation.

Between a man with a small p*nis

and delayed ejaculation

and someone with a big p*nis

and premature ejaculation,

which one do you think

can make women happier?

Small with delayed ejaculation.

No woman wants to end the game quickly.

Am I right?

But delayed ejaculation isn't enough.

You must be good at foreplay.

Make her legs give out

till she can't get up.

Any woman will love it.

Dear Dr. cl*max.

I'm 17 years old.

I've been with my boyfriend

for two years now.

I'm wondering

if what my boyfriend said is true,

that men's semen is better

for beautifying the skin

than any facial cream.

Men's semen is mainly composed of protein,

which doesn't help treat pimples

or make the skin firm.

It will just attract ants

and other things to your face.

Therefore, when you're finished,

please wash and clean your face.

Dear Dr. cl*max.

You can call me Mr. Sucker.

I love sucking my wife's breasts

while we make love.

When I see her breastfeed our baby,

I want to suck them even more.

I'd like to know if it's harmful

to drink my wife's breast milk.

Actually, sucking your wife's breasts

while making love

is not harmful at all.

It has many benefits.

Not only does it arouse

your wife's sexual desire,

but you also get nutrients

that are good for your body.

But

you may have to prepare for a side effect.

It's possible that your wife will begin

to behave like your mother.

Mommy.

Let me help you, Don.

No!

Dear Dr. cl*max.

My manhood is humongous.

And lately,

it seems I've lost control

of it completely.

Are you getting hard?

It keeps raising its head to greet people,

and often, all it takes is

visual stimulation,

and it will immediately discharge.

Its size makes everyone tease me

when they see it. They call me

-Don the Flashlight.

-Don the Flashlight.

Don the Flashlight.

The female friend I have a crush on

won't even talk to me at all.

Hey, where are you going?

Don the Flashlight. Come back here.

No!

I'm so distressed

that I don't want to go to school anymore.

What should I do?

I want to get surgery

to make it half its size.

Would it be possible

to reduce its length to half a foot?

Dr. cl*max?

If my math is correct,

that means

the length of your manhood is

twelve inches, right?

Wow.

You should have it officially measured

for a national record.

Or if you could send me

photographic proof,

I'd greatly appreciate it.

All men dream

of having a huge and long p*nis.

The longer, the better.

Therefore, your problem isn't the size

but control.

If you can control it,

you'll be so proud of your flashlight

that you'll never want to downsize it.

Come, I'll teach you

the squeeze technique,

which will efficiently

help you delay orgasm.

Ready?

Use three fingers

to squeeze the tip of your p*nis

near the frenulum

and the corona.

Squeeze it as hard as you can

without causing pain

for three to four seconds.

This technique

will stop your urge

to release the semen immediately.

Go on, try it.

Tighter.

Even tighter.

Okay, good.

Good.

All right.

For single men or boys hitting puberty

like you, young D.,

practicing the delay technique daily

using masturbation,

or what we call jerking off daily,

works very well.

When you start feeling pleasure,

stop until the feeling disappears,

and then start again.

When it feels good again, stop.

Don't let yourself ej*cul*te, understand?

Good.

Repeat this three to four times

before letting yourself discharge.

If you can hold it,

don't ej*cul*te at all.

Practice this for a month.

Contract your butt 300 times a day too.

Both men and women can do it.

I guarantee

this method will definitely work.

five! 186, 187, 188, 189

Increase the number of copies by 30%.

Print 10% more copies right now.

SIAM BULLETIN

BANGKOK EXPRESS

-Your change.

-Here you go.

Here you go. Thanks very much.

Hey, calm down. Okay. Here.

The new column is here.

Hey

Hey, she's just 17 years old.

I think the questions in this edition

are superb.

Sucking breasts, dude.

Hey, you've got a hard-on.

-You do.

-No, you do.

The black box is for uninteresting

or repeated questions.

White is for the interesting ones.

Red is for the ones to reconsider.

Oh sh*t! I dropped it. Damn.

This one, I think

we can save it.

INSIDERS EXPOSE LONG TRADITION

OF SELLING POSITIONS

Red box.

White box.

Well then,

let's keep it for reconsideration.

Do you really want to reconsider it later?

Or do you just not want to answer it?

It's not as easy to beat them

as I thought it would be.

Guess we'll take it to the homestretch.

These Siam Bulletin guys are

really cunning.

We made more copies, and so did they.

We'll get the final numbers

this Sunday, right?

Only two more days left.

Doc, why are you here?

I told you to send Permpol

to do things for you. It's dangerous here.

Permpol doesn't understand

some technical terms.

Many readers have complained

about this too.

So I asked Linda to draw an illustration,

but she said I needed your approval.

Well,

I think this isn't a bad idea, Doc,

but can we keep it for later?

Why?

This picture is anatomically accurate.

Dr. Nat, trust me.

Our society won't accept

something like this easily.

I see.

But it might boost our sales.

Are we not in enough trouble already?

Do you have a girlfriend, Doctor?

You look so cute.

Do you like Linda?

Cat got your tongue?

If you like her, just say so.

Do you know

that Linda already has a boyfriend?

His name is Komsan.

But he has gone camping.

-Komsan?

-Yep.

Camping, my a*s.

He fled into the jungle.

Hey.

Why are you harassing him?

It's called making friends.

-Yeah.

-Right.

Linda. Can I have this one?

I like him.

He won't be interested in you.

Don't you get the feeling that he's g*y?

What?

I said that Dr. Nat is g*y!

Cheers. Let's make a toast.

-Okay.

-Cheers.

Take it easy.

Hey, go to the right. Right.

Hey.

-Slowly.

-Here. Come on.

-Where am I?

-Hey, the bed is here.

-It's here.

-Bed?

The color

This way.

-Let me help.

-This way.

I have to

excuse myself.

BUTSARAKAM

MARRIED

THE BEST-SELLING NEWSPAPER OF ALL TIME

SIAM BULLETIN

SIAM BULLETIN

ELECTRIC BALDY'S

FIRST BARE-IT-ALL INTERVIEW

COPS FOUL UP AN OPERATION

THIEF RUMORED TO USE MAGIC

BANGKOK EXPRESS

They got us.

We lost.

Dr. Nat will surely be upset

if the column is scrapped.

-Hey.

-Choo.

-It's late. Why are you still here?

-What are you doing here?

I was gonna

Do the final proofreading for me.

I'm going home now.

Why

do you think I'm g*y?

Well

you take birth control pills

because you want to be a woman, no?

Well, actually

They're axing our column.

Pui, will you be mine?

Nat, are you not feeling well?

Will you be able to go to work?

sh*t.

What?

Boss gave Choo a white envelope.

So, what's the deal?

Green light. The column lives.

I didn't nut!

-Don?

-Dad!

-Hey!

-Dad, I did it!

I owe it to you!

Thank you so much, Dad.

That "cl*max Question" of yours saved me.

Well done, son.

You did it.

You did great, son.

I love you.

Really? What did the boss say?

He only told me to manage it well

and not to give our newspaper a bad name,

or heads will roll,

especially this f*ck's.

Just stop eavesdropping

on other people already.

Come on, I was worried about you.

By the way, Linda.

Yes?

WE TREAT PIMPLES, MELASMA, DARK SPOTS,

SKIN INFECTIONS, RASHES, FUNGAL INFECTIONS

ECZEMA, CHLOASMA, GENERAL DISEASES,

SKIN DISEASES, VENEREAL DISEASES

"The cl*max Question" gets to continue.

Choo asked me to deliver

the readers' letters. Linda.

Thank you so much

for such valuable advice.

I'm back to normal now.

I no longer have to cover my crotch

with my bag,

nor do I ej*cul*te all over the place.

My friends still tease me sometimes,

but I think it's because they envy me.

My crush is also finally talking to me.

You were right, Doctor.

Now that I can control it,

I'm proud of my flashlight.

I have attached the photo you asked for

along with this letter.

I hope it doesn't disappoint you.

Choo.

Thanks.

CAPTAIN PAO KILLS THREE THIEVES

BANGKOK EXPRESS

A newspaper, please.

Sure. Thanks.

Help! Somebody passed out. Help!

Where is she? Let me through.

Pol!

-Miss, what's wrong? Are you all right?

-Help!

Are you all right? Ma'am?

Help! Somebody fainted.

What's so funny, Sopha?

I'm just wondering

how you're going to handle this.

I won't deal with it myself.

I just need to find someone

who is dangerous enough

that they won't dare to mess with.

CAPTAIN PAO KILLS THREE THIEVES

BANGKOK EXPRESS