01x02 - Rôsuto bajirisuku/Omuretsu/Kakiage

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

DELICIOUS IN DUNGEON

[chopping]

[approaching footsteps]

Hi, Mom! I'm home!

[sniffs] Mm?

What you cooking there?

It smells amazing.

[chuckles]

It's your birthday, remember?

I made all the recipes you love.

Wow, you made them all?

[Marcille's mother] Every single dish.

See? I whipped up all of your favorites.

[Marcille's mother]

Fresh from the bowels of the dungeon.

[screams]

[pants]

Good morning. Are you okay?

[sighs]

[Marcille] I had a nightmare.

[sniffs, gasps]

That's what I smelled in my nightmare!

Can you guys smell that too?

Yep, the party across the way

is making breakfast.

[Marcille] They're having salted pork

on buns?

It's not fair!

- [Senshi] It's horrible.

- Hm?

Breaks my heart to see it.

100-PERSON SURVEY

ON DUNGEON MEALS

These days, the diet

of young adventurers is a travesty,

they only eat bread,

dried meats, and wine.

Look, I get it,

exploring dungeons takes stamina

which you build by eating fatty meat.

But fat ain't enough.

Malnutrition is the real monster here.

[groans]

[Senshi] Now that I said my piece,

I feel like a total hypocrite

'cause we have yet to eat a balanced meal.

Elf girl, you know why you were

drooling over that salted pork yonder?

It's because your body

is craving fat, that's why.

It's 'cause I don't want to eat monster!

[Senshi] Today, we'll hunt monsters

that are rich in fat.

Honestly, it'd be nice

if we could find one that laid eggs too.

Eggs are filling, nutritious.

The perfect food.

So, if you spot any eggs around, grab 'em.

[gasps]

You thinking what I'm thinking?

[Senshi] I am.

Just say it.

[Laios] The body of a chicken.

The tail of a snake.

With spurs sharp as knives

and loaded with venom.

Basilisk, the king of snakes.

Oh, right. A Basilisk.

Isn't that great, Marcille?

You'll get to eat chicken meat.

[groans]

Is it though? Can you call it a chicken

when it's half chicken?

Man, what a cool concept.

I always loved monsters

that were a mix of more than one species.

Something about mashing

two species together

elevates the appeal of each one.

The Basilisk makes you

appreciate the things

about a plain old chicken

that make it special.

A simple combo

but it really makes you think.

By the way, here's a fact

about the c*ck and Basilisk,

same family, different species.

It's been my dream

to do a taste test between the two.

[Marcille] You got some weird dreams.

[Senshi] There should be

a Basilisk nest here.

There's one.

Yeah, it looks freshly laid too.

Let's bag them up

before the folks come home.

Are they supposed to be that long?

Here, take it.

But are they supposed to be this squishy?

- [distant roar]

- [both gasp]

The cry of the Basilisk.

[Laios] Come on, Senshi.

[Senshi] I hope you wrapped yours

in something soft like I did.

- [shrill cry]

- [gasps]

- [panting]

- [roars]

[Chilchuck] It's the party with the grill.

[screams]

[whimpers]

[gasps]

[whimpers]

[rattles, hisses]

[foreboding music playing]

[roars]

[screams]

[hissing]

[screams, pants]

[Laios] Mm, that escape technique.

She's just asking

to be kicked in the back.

Would you just hurry up and save her?

[gasps, groans]

- [gasps]

- [roars]

[primal scream]

[Laios] Spread your arms

and legs out wide to look huge

and do a crazy yell to sound threatening!

It'll freak the thing out

and keep it back!

[primal grunts]

- How about we pretend we don't know him?

- Hm.

[Laios imitates chicken clucking]

[grunts]

[rattles, hisses]

[both grunt]

[Laios] The Basilisk

has another head on its tail.

So it seems like it has no blind spots,

but it's still one body.

So if you attack both heads

at the same time,

you'll split its attention

in two directions

confusing the whole body.

[loud thud]

- [Laios] How is he?

- [gasps]

Did he get poisoned?

- [girl] Yes.

- Laios!

[Marcille] Senshi says he has an antidote.

Let's have it then.

Actually, I was planning

to use it for lunch today.

[both] Huh?

[Marcille] He's dying! Can't you see that?

Yeah, well, it's better to take

one of these antidotes

if it's cooked into something.

Then hurry up and cook something!

[Senshi] First, you got to chop off

the tail and feet.

Parboil it for a sec

and pluck the feathers.

[Chilchuck] Whoa.

Looks like normal chicken.

[Senshi]

Next, you got to pull out the guts

and rub in some spices.

Chop some vegetables up

and cram 'em in with your medicinal herbs,

then tie up the cut.

Last, jam a stick through the sucker

and give it a good, slow roasting.

And it's ready.

[Marcille] Hurry up! Give him some!

[gulps]

It's so juicy and delicious.

[Marcille] Sorry for the wait.

[Senshi] Here, have some too.

I can't yet!

I should cast a healing spell to

[groans softly]

[Marcille] Oh, my gosh!

It's like something

the dining hall serves.

This really does taste exactly

like chicken meat.

I heard snake meat tastes

like chicken too.

[gasps]

I'm sorry, I'll cast

that healing spell now.

Oops, now I'm ready.

That was so good.

It's the first decent meal I've had

in the dungeon.

[both] Mm.

[man] Um

she and I,

we've been trying for three months

to get past this part of the dungeon,

but the same monsters wipe us out

every single time.

So we thought, since you eat monsters,

you could tell us how to get stronger,

so we can too.

Oh, sure, um

First, improve your eating habits!

[Senshi] Second, get enough sleep!

Third, exercise!

Follow these three rules,

and in no time, you will get stronger.

[man] What an amazing group

of adventurers.

I want to be like them.

Hmm.

I don't think we're gonna make it

to the third floor today.

We spent too much time

cooking that monster.

They say Red Dragons wake up

once a month to do their hunting.

That means the one we ran into

had just woken up.

[Chilchuck] So it's probably asleep now

'cause its belly is full.

I'd like to find it

before it finishes digesting my sister.

- [whimpering]

- [Laios] Hey, Marcille?

Could you please

pick up the pace a little?

[grunting]

[gasps, groans]

- [Laios] Yeah, my sister's doomed.

- [gasps]

Uh, I'm not slowing us down.

See? Nothing's broken. I can walk.

But you're hurt.

We should take a break.

I'm fine, really!

[Chilchuck] Oh, please.

Acting tough isn't helping one bit,

you'll just end up

really hurting yourself,

and then you'll be a burden on the party.

SHOCK

We could take the path outside.

It's easier.

Then we'll have to deal

with those pesky Big Bats.

[gasps]

I can take care of Big Bats with my magic.

- No, it's fine.

- Uh

[Chilchuck] We could take the secret path.

There's lots of traps, but few monsters.

I have spells that can disarm traps.

Ah, no bother.

It's faster to let Chilchuck handle 'em.

Oh.

[Senshi] If we're taking a path

with few monsters on it,

we'll need to stock up

on as much food as we can carry.

Won't the leftovers from lunch be enough?

That's mostly meat and eggs.

We need some more vegetables too.

I know of a spot nearby

where Mandrakes grow.

[gasps] Oh, oh! I know all about

harvesting Mandrakes!

Leave everything to me!

[Marcille] Mandrakes are basic ingredients

for magical potions.

And I'm the expert here in magic.

So follow my lead

and do exactly what I say.

[Marcille]

You can't just pull a Mandrake out

'cause it will scream.

If you hear it,

you either go insane or worse, die.

If we do this the wrong way,

we'll lose time,

and poor Falin is pretty much doomed.

So here's how we do this.

First, we need one well-trained dog

and one leash.

[Chilchuck] A dog?

Connect the dog to the Mandrake

with the leash,

- call the dog from a safe distance.

- Good boy.

The dog will run to you

and pull the Mandrake out.

What happens to the dog?

[gasps]

It dies.

That's horrible.

And where are we supposed

to get enough dogs to sacrifice?

Uh

Wouldn't you say this plan

is not only cruel but totally inefficient?

But that's what I was taught!

Can't we just use

a really long piece of rope?

[Marcille] What?

[Laios] If we used a rope

that's long enough

so we couldn't hear the scream,

we wouldn't need to k*ll a dog.

Uh

There's a reason that won't work.

Something about getting the right angle

when you pull or something

[screaming]

That was scary.

[Laios] That's Marcille.

[Senshi] If you just cut

their heads off first, they won't scream.

[Chilchuck] Makes sense.

But that's not the right way.

[Senshi]

I've been doing it this way for years.

But this isn't like picking carrots,

it's really dangerous!

Senshi obviously has experience

picking them.

And speaking of,

have you ever tried to do this

like how your book's telling you?

[Marcille] No. I felt sorry for the dog.

Well, we don't have a dog

and we're wasting time talking about it.

Sorry, but we're doing it Senshi's way.

[Marcille] It's such an easy mess,

it was safe,

it would have been in the book

and taught at school.

What was I thinking?

Trying to get them to believe

how the book says to pick a Mandrake

when I never tried that way before.

That's right. I haven't.

That settles it.

I'll show them

the book's method is the right way.

Then they'll see.

I'm so sorry, Marcille!

[Marcille] I forgive you.

Now what can I use instead of a dog?

A monster!

This floor is chock-full of Big Bats.

They should all be sleeping

in their nests now.

I hope this works.

The book doesn't say how much strength

it takes to yank these out.

[Laios] You know it's a Big Bat nest

by all the dung.

[Marcille] I never thought Laios's trivia

would come in handy.

Now, I need to find somewhere far enough

that I can't hear the scream.

Like there!

[pants, groans]

I can hit it from here easy.

Aire Faum Orbis!

[squeaking]

Yes!

[Mandrake screaming]

Ow. What the heck?

Marcille.

- [squeaks]

- [Mandrake screaming]

[Mandrake screaming]

[Marcille] No.

No. No.

[Marcille] Having experience is important.

For example,

now I know using a Big Bat

instead of a dog is a stupid idea.

[loud expl*si*n]

[Laios] Marcille!

Is she dead?

Oh. Hey there.

You used a Big Bat instead of a dog, huh?

That's stupid.

- Hey, can you hear me? You okay there?

- [both gasp]

Yeah, I can now feel better.

[Chilchuck] Yeah, right.

[Laios sighs]

She heard the scream.

Let's keep talking to her

and it'll help clear her head.

Why did you do that?

[in muffled voice]

Well, I heard my party called me a burden,

and I freaked out.

I do what I did to get back at them

and make them grovel at my foot.

Why, you rotten

Take it easy.

If I feel like I'm in the way

and not helpful, it makes me real sad.

[both sigh]

The deeper we get in here,

the tougher the monsters.

We need your magic to keep us all safe.

I don't want you wasting your power

when we're just three floors down.

[Laios] We all have strengths

and weaknesses.

And when things get crazy,

I'm gonna need you to be ready.

Till then, we can take care

of everything else.

We like to feel useful too.

Go on, Chilchuck. Tell her.

I was wrong to say you were a burden.

You've been a big help since day one.

[grunts]

[in normal voice]

Say it like you mean it, shorty.

[shouts] I see you've got

your lousy attitude back, you little

[Senshi] This is great.

We snagged ourselves a nice, fat Big Bat.

How's about we make some omelets?

Are we 100% sure this thing's an egg?

It looks nothing

like any egg I've ever seen.

That's what a snake egg looks like.

But only the tail part of it is the snake.

- All the chicken-y parts are the body.

- Uh-uh.

[Laios] The chicken-y part's the tail.

BODY, TAIL

[Senshi] Hmm, this one's

a different color than the others.

[Chilchuck] You're right.

Oh, that's the one Marcille got.

It still has a head.

[Senshi] Hmm.

Mm-hm.

First, you chop the Mandrakes up

and stir-fry 'em for a bit.

Crack an egg and whip it.

Once it gets all fluffy in the pan

It's ready.

MANDRAKE AND BASILISK OMELE

Compared to a chicken egg,

this is yellowier.

[Senshi] This one's got

the Mandrake we picked in it,

and this one's got the Mandrake

the elf girl picked

using her Big Bat method.

Sure, keep rubbing it in, why don't ya?

[Laios] Now, now.

Hm.

The one with Marcille's Mandrake

is less bitter and more velvety.

Mm, it is good.

I guess it loses whatever toxins it has

when it screams.

The basic rule of cooking is

the more effort you put in,

the better the taste.

I was so hell-bent on being efficient,

I totally forgot that fact.

My apologies, Marcille.

[Senshi] You and that cookbook

of yours were right.

Hey, this is not a cookbook.

As thanks for pointing out my mistake,

I saved the tastiest parts for you.

- [gasps]

- [Mandrakes shriek]

I don't want it!

I'm sick and tired

of eating these icky monsters!

[Chilchuck] The entrance

to the secret path should be around here.

[Senshi] I don't see it.

[Chilchuck]

Laios, can I borrow your sword?

[clangs]

[echoing]

[Chilchuck] Here it is.

- [Chilchuck grunts]

- Whoa!

[both chuckling]

[Senshi] How the heck did he know?

[Laios] Chilchuck is a specialist

in finding traps and picking locks.

All right, people,

there's tons of traps coming up,

so don't make a move until I say so.

Uh [sighs]

One thing I hate more than anything

is people getting in my way

when I'm trying to work.

[Senshi] Hm.

[Chilchuck] Stop.

[quirky music playing]

[sighs]

Only step where I just stepped.

- [clangs]

- [screams]

What are you doing?

I clearly said

only step where I just stepped.

Why is your foot hanging over

on this other tile?

I don't get the details.

But the details matter!

If you don't watch your step,

you'll k*ll someone!

There are all kinds of traps,

some of them go up in tandem,

and some affect each other!

If you trigger one of them,

all my calculations

go right out the window.

Open your ears

and step where I tell you to!

- Wait!

- [Senshi grunts]

[screams]

- [Senshi grunts]

- [screams]

Hmm.

- Oh.

- [flame roars]

This room got all sorts of traps.

This one would crisp you up

before you knew it.

Get off that tile already!

Fire traps free oil,

and it won't stop

till you move your dang foot.

- Oil?

- The last thing I need is a roasted dwarf.

Roasted, huh?

- No, not roasted.

- [Chilchuck] Huh?

[Senshi] Fried.

No. Deep-fried.

Kakiage!

We're having tempura for lunch today.

You know where the oil

for this trap is stored?

It's not used for cooking.

All right, half-foot kid.

You're an expert in cooking oil now?

I hate it when people call me kid.

Vegetable oil is most common

and I bet that's what it is.

Either way,

I just want to check it for myself.

If not, no worries, I won't use it.

[sighs]

[Chilchuck] All right. Fine.

But from now on,

when we're dealing with traps,

you have to swear

you'll do exactly what I tell you!

If you don't like following my orders,

you can find the oil yourself!

I swear I'll do what you say.

And I'll help if you want.

[Chilchuck] I don't.

Look, we each have a specialty, don't we?

You cook.

I disarm traps and pick locks.

Marcille, magics.

I'd never tell you

how to cook something ever!

So, as a professional courtesy,

leave me alone so I can do my job!

[loud rasping]

I knew it.

This is the treasure room.

All those traps

were designed to protect it.

- [clanks]

- [Chilchuck] It's bolted down.

I should check inside this one.

Give me some space!

He doesn't have to get

all snippy about it.

[Laios] He knows if he screws up,

we're dead.

He's just stressing out about it, is all.

Hm.

- [clicks]

- It's open.

Great. So how are we gonna get

the oil out of it?

[Chilchuck] I have no idea.

This looks like the spout.

And this is this trigger,

and if you pull on it,

the oil comes out, I think.

Okay, I'll hold the pot.

- And you pull the trigger thing-y.

- Huh?

That's crazy!

It's filled with boiling oil!

- Don't worry.

- [Chilchuck] I'm worried!

[breathes heavily]

You asked for it!

[grunts]

- [oil trickles]

- Hot! Hot! Hot!

[grunts]

So hot!

[Chilchuck]

That's what I was worried about.

Are you okay?

[gasps]

[Chilchuck] Your thumb!

Hmm, 180 degrees.

Perfect temperature for deep-frying.

So, you didn't feel that at all?

That smell, that taste.

This here's olive oil.

You're kidding?

There used to be tons of olive trees here.

And olive oil's easy enough to make.

[scoffs]

I figure someone would use it in a trap.

Yeah, I guess.

Now, we can deep-fry things.

Oh!

We can use that big blade from the trap

in the ceiling to chop the meat.

Hold on! We don't know if that trap

will react the same way!

[loud thud]

[Senshi] As I'm no good

at dealing with traps,

I leave trap stuff to the expert.

Do I really have to do it?

Cooking is my specialty,

so you have to do whatever I say now.

Those are the terms we agreed to.

I never agreed to that.

[loud thud]

[pants]

[sighs]

[Chilchuck] What the hell am I doing?

[whooshes]

The Big Bat's all cut up.

[Senshi] Thanks.

Next, get that fire trap going

and heat this oil up.

Go on. You got this.

[whimpers]

[Senshi] While he's doing that,

I'll strip the skin off the meat,

then chop the meat into chunks.

After scoring the meat with a knife,

I'll rub in some spices and let it rest.

Now this is good as time as any

to prepare the Mandrake kakiage.

Before you peel its skin off,

you should remove its arms and legs,

if they're all tangled, just separate them

and they rip right off.

Scrape all the skin off the body

and where the arms and legs were,

give those places a scrape too.

Next, comes the batter.

Mix a Basilisk egg with water

then sift in a bit of flour,

give it another mixing,

and make damn sure there's no clumps,

then add the chopped Mandrake.

How's that fire coming?

I have no idea.

It's not like I ever used a fire trap

for cooking before.

[Senshi] Oh, it's just about right.

[sizzles]

Once it's fried enough,

it doesn't fall apart, flip it.

Got that?

Yeah. I got it.

[Chilchuck] Is it ready?

[sighs] Damn it. It wasn't ready.

Maybe it needs more heat.

- [small expl*si*n]

- [Chilchuck gasps]

[sighs] I burned it.

How's it coming along?

Horribly. Can you just do this?

Fire traps are your specialty.

Traps are my specialty,

but deep-frying's a cooking thing!

If the heat's too low, it's gooey,

with too much heat, it burns right away.

Then it's not your specialty after all.

This batch looks okay.

I like the color of that.

[Senshi] And it's ready.

MANDRAKE AND BIG BAT KAKIAGE

I never thought eating deep-fried food

was possible in a dungeon.

[Laios] Mm. This came out perfect.

[Senshi] The heat was just right.

When you deep-fry,

you do it quick in a specific temperature.

That's how you get it nice and crispy.

[Senshi] It's hard to get it right

doing it over a campfire.

Not that anyone should use a campfire.

I've been on this floor a bunch

and never knew about this useful room.

[coughs]

It's dangerous!

Don't ever come in here without me.

Got it?

You'll end up k*lling yourself.

[Senshi] I hear ya.

And for the record,

the way you handle traps is amazing.

You sure know your stuff.

The day we go our separate ways

will be a sad day for me.

I can't figure traps like you,

that's for sure.

[sighs] It's not all that hard.

When we get some downtime,

I guess I can teach you

a little about traps.

Really?

This could go bad in so many ways.

But you did teach me

a couple of your cooking skills.

[narrator] Meat cannot replace bread.

And bread can not replace meat.

But combine them

and they can be quite delicious.

So it is with meals and people.

Delicious in dungeon.

[closing theme music]