01x05 - The God of w*r

[bunniefuu]

Life finds a way.

Like a cluster of methanogens

beneath the frigid Mars surface,

a group of like-minded
individuals

had found each other

in the shadow of the
corporate monolith.

Weaving a collective
morality in secret

from the blueprints

of long-dead
visionary modernists.

They were Mars. ly's
intellectual vanguard,

a coalition of scientists,

engineers, academics, poets.

They called
themselves The Buckys.

Woof! Woof! Woof!

We must let what
we love drive us,

while remembering it's the
river, and not the boat,

that will take us there.

Their mission was simple...

Get back to the
original dream of Mars,

One day soon they
would strike out

to create a better life
on this big red earth

in a colony of their own.

One built to fill the human soul

and not the coffers of
Mars. ly shareholders.

A beacon for future generations.

It's a misnomer that
rice with a husk

provides additional nutrition.

Humans have been ridding their
grains of these unsavory rinds

since the Huns squatted in huts.

That is, until a
few Californians

declared themselves
nutritionists...

Okay, okay. Jesus, Hubert!

Alright, who wants brown rice?

White?

Within this shared sense of
purpose, I found belonging.

Also power.

An individual within the whole.

And so it was.

The husk shall be
cast off forevermore!

But most importantly,
I found her.

Wait, wait, wait.
The scientist?

I thought she dumped you.

Right, right, yeah,
she did, but...

And what's all this "individual
within the whole" stuff?

Isn't it just you and
Sluggo moving rocks

and catching rats and sh*t?

Y-Yeah, yeah, it's that.

But, um, I dunno.

I guess it just feels good
to finally have some purpose.

Not that answering Reagan's
e-mails isn't important. It is.

It... It is.

I'm glad you're happy.

Just don't forget about
your old friends, okay?

Right.

Yeah. Got it.

Wouldn't... Would
not think of it.

Whoa! Nice!

Yeah.

Hey, listen, let's table that.

I gotta get going.

But, um, great work here
today and... Real quick,

I'm doing my annual
cheat day Thursday...

Grimaldi's cooking up a
50,000-calorie belly buster.

Gonna be epic.

I'm thinking I could
reserve us a sky bubble.

Do that sh*t up right.

Ohh... that sounds
amazing, but...

I...

I...

I will be there.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Hey, Sluggo?

How much for a private dance?

Real funny, Martin.

How 'bout I bust ya head?

That's funny.

So bad news.

I gotta borrow your assistant.

Indefinitely.

Really? You sure?

Yeah, totally.

Well, uh,
Mr. Buchinsky...

I guess this is it then.

It's been an honor, sir.

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

You've paid me more
respect than everyone else

in this colony combined.

You ever need
anything, I'm your man.

Ya got me?

Yes, sir. I got ya.

You sure Sluggo's gonna
be okay without me?

The truth of the matter, Jeff,

is, we didn't put you out
there to assist Slugs.

Nope, we just needed a
fresh body to suck up

all that radiation so Crystal
could study the effects.

A... About that...

How much are we talking exactly?

Well, your teeth glow in the
dark, so what do you think?

But I wouldn't sweat it.

If you live long enough
to die of radiation,

it'll be a miracle.

We got other sh*t
to worry about,

like what are we gonna
eat when we all run out

of those freeze-dried
bananas?

What's that sound?

Meet the official
self-replenishing protein

of the future Bucky colony.

Your job is to feed
them twice a day.

Red button's right here.

You know how to work
these things, right?

And don't feed 'em
too much, okay?

'Cause they'll
swarm and go crazy.

Any questions?

Actually, yeah. I don't know

if this is gonna
be the right job...

And, uh, next time, don't
forget your face shield.

As you may have heard,
an unusual methane spike

has been detected in the
northern hemisphere's

16th hecto-quadrant.

As Mars. ly's chief biologist,

of course I'll be investigating.

Finally discovering
life on Mars?

Perhaps.

But more importantly...

it's the perfect cover
finally to investigate

the proposed site
for our new colony.

Huzzah!

You all know how incredibly
rare this opportunity is.

If we find water, we
could leave Mars. ly

in as little as three weeks.

We leave first thing tomorrow.

We've got a tight timeline,
so we'll need a tight crew.

Martin, you're tech lead.

Don and Judith,
you're running drill.

Crystal, you're
on soil analysis.

And, young Jeffrey...

you've shown a good deal of
spunk in your short tenure.

We'll need an extra
pair of hands,

and I'd like you to join.

That's a
cool idea, Sheila,

but Jeff's actually on
grasshopper duty, so...

Anyone can push a button
to feed the grasshopper.

I'm confident you'll
find someone great

to fill in for him.

Okay, everyone.

Remember, keep a low profile.

This is just an ordinary
scientific expedition

because if Mars. ly
finds out otherwise...

then, well, you all
know what happens.

Sorry! Sorry.

No problemo.

C'mon!

Oh.

Hey, Brandon. You scared me.

I heard you were
going on a trip today.

Oh, y'know, just a run-of-
the-mill science-gathering

science-gathering
science expedition.

A little suspicious
they'd take a guy

like you on a science trip.

Well...

Don't get me wrong.
I love science.

I just think the next creative
director of Marsiversary

might have more important
business to attend to.

Whoa, wait. Me?

That's right.

Whoa. Wow.

I-I mean, Jeff Cooper,

Creative Director.

Whew.

But what about Midori Yamamoto?

Ooh.

Well, she was en route,
and she missed...

Mars.

Well, is she dead?

Let's just say she'll be
giving notes remotely...

for a time.

We still have a pretty
reliable signal, but, uh...

you know, she's a
real great person.

Anyway, I hope you like offices

'cause you're about to have one.

Well... I'm not sure
if, uh, that's gonna...

Oh,
that's Midori right now.

You'll never guess who
I'm standing next to.

Okay, am I on speaker?

I'm sorry. That's
not how I see it.

Well, there are some very
good people on both sides.

Please take me off speaker.

Take. Me. Off. Speak...

Hm. Thought you might
be calling in sick.

Me? Naw.

Remember, this ain't
exactly my, uh...

my first rodeo out
there on the surface.

Mmm... this is gonna
be a little different

than you and Slugs playing
grab-a*s in front of the colony.

Any screw-ups, and you can't
run wee, wee, wee back inside.

Alright?

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Uh, everything okay?

Uh, ha, yeah.

Me and Sluggo

just give the little
fellow a rub for good luck,

you know, before
we go out there.

It looks like some kind
of serial k*ller shrine.

Ha ha. No, no.

Sluggo, he's got
a heart of gold.

I mean, sure, he'll dry-gulch
you every now and again, but...

Alright, everybody!

Let's get this show on the road.

That's our cue.

Where are you going?

Port B, right?

That's class one vehicles
and foot traffic, soldier.

You're in the big leagues now.

This is us.

Beautiful day for it.

Morning, Don.

Good morning, Franklin!

Lovely to
see you, Sheila.

Good morning, sir.

Jeff Cooper. I'm new...

♪ Holding you closer in my
arms, we drift to heaven ♪

♪ Bringing in the
morning light ♪

♪ And after all is said
and done, there's only us ♪

♪ We can make it right ♪

♪ So ♪

♪ Our love will
carry on and on ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ Our love will be free ♪

♪ Be free ♪

What are you working on there?

A new résumé?

What are we up to
now... Version 100.0?

That's
very funny, Martin.

I'm actually appreciating
the world around me.

You should try it some time.

Yeah, it's like, you see
this stuff, and you wonder,

"Why are you here?" Yes!

Exactly! No, dude.

Why are you here?

Why are you on this trip?

Aw, come on, Martin.
You don't mean that.

No, I do, actually.

You should put that
in your journal.

Our algorithms suggest
that this could be

the fertile crescent of Mars.

A vein of ice as wide
as the entire valley

just 10 or so yards
beneath our feet.

What do ya think?

It's, uh...

It's, uh...

nice, I guess.

If we're lucky, this'll
be your new home, sport.

For all of eternity.

You will live and
die right there.

Alright. Marty?

Check. Crystal?

Check.

- Jeff?
- Yes, check.

Okay, drop it.

Dropping!

1.5 meters.

Tell me something good.

Nothing yet.

Ommmm.

Ommmm.

You know, my ex
does a lot of yoga.

Yeah, like, a lot.

Oh. You heard me.

I didn't realize my
radio was on. Sorry.

No, no, I-I-I get it.

I... It's... I liked it.

I feel more myself out here.

How are we doing?

Nothing yet.

There's a dust storm
about half an hour away.

I-I think we've got
time for one more shot.

Let's find our next site.

Oh, no. Guys,
this... this is a bad idea.

Uh, huh, yeah, it does
look pretty dangerous.

Great. Divining rods.

Or maybe we should ask a f*cking
leprechaun where the ice is.

I'm not above asking the
sprites for guidance.

It's now or never
for our mission.

You know that, Martin.

We're gonna die!

We die out here,
or we die back there.

You are not in charge, Martin.

Now get the drill.

Get the rig!

7 meters.

I've got nothing.

We need to go! Now!

I've got nothing.
I've got nothing.

We've
gotta get out of here!

Yes! Everybody!

Listen to Judith!

Wait a second. Wait.

Traces of hydrogen.

There's ice.

There's ice!

Jesus c*ck Christ.

We did it.

We g*dd*mn did it!

We don't have time! C'mon!

We gotta move.

Look, in case this is it,

I wanted to say I never
really had a family.

And just, you guys
actually mean a lot to me.

Even you, Jeff.

Even you.

Go over
there! Over there!

Jesus!

Holy sh*t!

Go for the
edge of the canyon!

Can you hear me?

Come in!

Sheila!

Okay, follow me!

Holy sh*t!

Oh, dear.

What the f*ck?!

What is this?

I don't recognize these suits.

Maybe they're from
the first MEU...

on some failed secret mission.

Or maybe they're
rebels like us...

stranded by a dust storm while
searching for a new home.

Well, it's fine.

We'll just wait it out, right?

We find the rest of
the team, we head home.

Right?

Right?

No. No, no.

Why don't you have a seat, Jeff?

Look, we got to make a plan.

Alright? That's what we do.

We make a plan. Then
after we make a plan,

we find some sticks, right?

We find some bungee
cords, find some...

Jeff, save your oxygen.

Now, didn't I see you had a
sketchbook in there somewhere?

May I?

Very creative.

That's... That's...
That's stupid.

That's from, like, 15 years ago.

Can I ask you a
question, J-Money?

Don't you think
these intrepid souls

deserve to be memorialized?

Uh, o-okay.

You know, I actually
died, too, once.

Like, for a while.

Oh, my.

That's quite profound.

You've been through
something real.

Maybe that's what
drew you to us.

How are you so calm? You know?

I mean, this could be it.

This probably is it.

You know what I saw when
I died the first time?

A f*cking bog.

And some wizard.

My whole life.

And it all added up to nothing.

Nothing more than
tears in the rain.

That's actually a quote
from "Blade Runner."

I don't know if
you've ever seen it.

You know, Jeff,
I feign optimism,

pretending we'll still
find life on Mars.

But after all these years,
I'm confident we won't.

The planet's dead as a doornail.

A rock in a void.

But, you see, there is life.

Our time doesn't last forever.

But we move the baton

as far as we can.

We found the river, the
coordinates are logged.

No matter what
happens, that's done.

We better get some sleep.

Jeff!

Here!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

We were about to
leave, but I just...

I knew you were alive.

Is Sheila? She's back there.

I'll get her. There's
oxygen at the truck.

Hurry!

Hey, Martin, did you really mean

what you said back
there in the truck?

No. Okay.

That's okay.

Can you find someone else
to walk next to, Jeff?

Yeah. Totally.

Totally.

♪ There was a ship
sailed from the North Country ♪

♪ And the name of the ship
was the Sweet Kumadee ♪

♪ She was built of the
pine and the bay oak tree ♪

♪ And she sailed on the
Lowlands, Lowlands ♪

C'mon, Jeff, you should
know the words by now.

♪ And she sailed on
the Lowlands Low ♪

♪ We hadna been a-sailin'
a week but barely three ♪

♪ When the lookout man, he
sighted a French gaudie ♪

♪ And he
said, "We'll be a-sent ♪

♪ Tae the bottom of the sea" ♪

♪ As we sailed on the
Lowlands, Lowlands ♪

♪ And she sailed on
the Lowlands Low ♪

Hey, careful!

Here, let me help you up.

Sheila?

Hey, hey, Sheila?

Goodbye, Sheila.

I-I'm sorry.

You live among stars
and the planets now.

Never in a million years
would I have thought

that Sheila would be the one
on that veritable funeral pyre

instead of me, the old
sack of eggs that I am.

But Sheila knew
better than anyone,

death is our next-door neighbor

up here on the God of w*r.

And now that we've found
water and our time is nigh,

we'd be fools to
think some of us

won't be joining
her in martyrdom.

But I've buried two wives.

You think I'm afraid
of you, Mars?!

It's gonna take a hell of a
lot more to stand me down,

you red-headed sonofab*tch!

Don't ever forget...

There's Mars. ly, and
then there's Mars.

Never get the two confused.

We must remember.

Always.

For Sheila.

♪ Galaxy ♪

♪ I'm the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Galaxy ♪

♪ I'm the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Planet ♪

♪ He's the ruler of the galaxy ♪

♪ Mars ♪

♪ He's the ruler... ♪