01x09 - Kiddie Cure-all

[bunniefuu]

It's done.

Now to test it out... on that pudgy elf.

Is the elf here?

Seriously? No one's home...

Eh, guess I'll go k*ll some time
and try again later.

I'm home!

Huh? You around, Elfuda?

She left the front door unlocked.

Not very considerate...

Is this Elfuda's?

All these sugary sodas are the reason
she keeps gaining weight...

A new flavor...?

It looks tasty...

Maybe I'll just have a little sip.

Ugh! Tastes kinda funny...

Howdy, human!

Anyone home?

We ran into each other on the—

WHAT?!

What the hell is your problem?!

You horrible, wicked,
peach-emoji-for-an-a*s dark elf!

I was trying to pick the perfect drink
to go with my limited-edition French fries...

...then you sneak up on me and
press the red bean soup button?!

Have you lost your freakin' mind?!

There's no need to get so huffy about it...

Too late!

Fries and red bean soup?!
What if I get so thirsty I die?!

Would you feel better if I gave you
something else to drink?

I left it at the human's place.

What do you mean?

I wanted to chat with him,
so I dropped by.

But it'd be rude to show up empty-handed,
so I brought a new flavor of soda.

A new soda flavor?!

Okay, let's go!

Soda goes great with French fries!

Good. I managed to convince her
to drink the potion.

As for whether my weight loss spell works...

I'll just use the dim-witted elf
as my test subject!

French fries, French fries!

And even if it does fail, it's not like it'll
cause irreparable side effects or anything.

Holy guacamole!

Stay with us, human!

It's starting to feel like
I might've spoken too soon!

Whoa, what happened?!

C'mon, human! Open your eyes!

Just hang in there!

Human! Pull yourself together!

Please wake up!

Human!

Elfuda...?

Human! Glad to have you back!

Is he a zombie?

Quit houndin' me.

I'm not a dog!

That ain't what I meant!

Huh?

Wh-Wh-What happened to me?!

I never predicted THIS...

Could it be a calcium deficiency?

It's a spectacular failure.

Then maybe eatin' some fish will fix him.

Though technically he did lose weight...

Clearly that's not the issue!

Is anything else wrong?

No, I think I'm okay...

Well, at least it doesn't
seem life-threatening...

Sorry I scared you.

But why am I small...?

It's glaringly obvious.

I can guess who the culprit is.

No kiddin'?! Who is it?!

Of course the elf with potatoes for brains
would figure it out!

She knows the drink I brought
is what caused this whole—

The satyr!

I'm safe!

The satyr was targeting the human!

She does have all sorts of magic
at her disposal...

Wh-What should we do...?

Punish her with a hundred
smacks on the a*s!

If they find out it was me...

No, I can't let the truth come to light!

Your clothes are too big.

Got anything smaller to wear?

First, I've got to hide the evidence...

No, of course not...

...and then I'll change the human back!

Hey!

Wh-What?!

He can barely move in these clothes.

Let's head to the mall and pick out
something a little more child-friendly.

S-Sure, whatever you say.

I'll deal with the bottle later...

I'm sorry for all the trouble...

Don't be silly!
You're always taking care of us.

It's the least we can do.

We'll find her, make no bones about it.

Laika will help look for the satyr, too.

Kiddies love chicken nuggets,
so we'll bring ya some later!

You guys...

Mhm, it suits you nicely.

Thanks, Elfuda.

The skeleton crew are
out searching for the satyr.

So stay calm and wait here.

O-Okay...

I've got to steal the bottle back

and return the human to his normal size
before things get out of hand!

Yo, human!

The ogre?

Oh, I promised Oga we'd have
a cooking lesson today.

It just keeps getting worse!

Coochy-coochy-coo! Peek-a-boo!

Grow up big and strong!

We're getting out on the count of ten, alright?

Keep going! Almost there!

Mommy!

MY SON!

Stop, you're gonna squish him! Let go!

No way! He's MINE!

Her motherly instincts
are stronger than I thought...

Well, if you can even call it that...

You're making the human uncomfortable!

No, no—

Wait, the human?

Hello...

So the satyr cast a spell and
turned him into a little rugrat...

Hmm, well...
he's fine like this for now, right?

You call that "fine"?!

Focus, Kuroeda.

The human's always helping you,

No matter how convoluted the situation may be,

so it's time to help him!

your objective hasn't changed!

Aww...

Um, what are you doing?

N-Nothing!

Hey, Oga?

You can call me "Mommy"!

Uh, I'll pass...

About that cooking lesson I promised...

It might be tough since
I'm smaller than usual...

Bingo!

I can slip away while they're busy
cooking in the kitchen!

It's the perfect plan!

Perhaps YOU could assist
the human with his lesson.

Me?

You've got nothing to do
until they catch the satyr, right?

So why not be productive in the meantime?

Huh... Good point.

In that case, why don't we do it together?

Hm?

I can't believe I'M getting roped into cooking, too!

Today we're making a healthy meat and potato stew.

But there's not much I can do about it now.

A stew?

A potato dish?!

I'll just have to bide my time.

My chance to swipe that bottle WILL come...

...and I won't let it pass me by!

I'm a panther ready to strike!

I'll be in charge of slicing the potatoes!

For the meat, we'll use a lean round steak.

It's got fewer calories than a ribeye.

That makes sense.

They're totally oblivious...

Not very exciting, but I'll take it.

I'd better strike while the iron's—

Oh, it was you...

You startled me.

Quit skulkin' around back there.

For a second, I thought you were the satyr.

So walking is ill*gal now?
Gimme a break...

Can it! Stop slacking and start cooking!

Alright, jeez...

Craaap!

I forgot they both have
way more brawn than brains!

They're on ultra high alert...

I can't make any careless moves!

Screw it.

I'll cook and think at the same time.

Wait for an opening
while they're preoccupied...

Wait for...

I got caught up making the stupid stew!

Now we let it simmer for twenty minutes
to reduce the excess liquid and it's done.

Oh, right...

Twenty minutes?
It's going to be a while...

Wanna play a game with Mommy till then?

I-I think this is a good opportunity

to teach you an exercise
that you can do in your free time.

Standing back leg lifts.

They target your glutes and your hamstrings,

so they're beneficial for reducing swelling
in your legs and toning your butt.

I can't afford to waste time like this...

It works like a charm!

I tend to have poor circulation
in my legs, so this is great.

They're even more effective
when you pair them with a calf exercise.

All these reps and sets
are really making me sweat!

I'm getting thirsty!

Then why don't you drink this?

I-Is that...?

It was sitting over there on the table.

Here.

What do I do?!

I'm glad I got the bottle back,
but I can't drink it!

What's the matter?
You're welcome to have some.

Mwah! Mwah, mwah!

Y-Yeah, I know that!

Nooooo!

What's with the shaky voice?

M-My voice isn't shaky, okay?!

It's a defective potion!
I can't very well drink it!

But if I don't drink it now, she might
get suspicious and realize the truth!

Why is this happening to me?!

There's no way out! It's game over!

Y'know, you're acting kinda funny.

Are you hiding somethi—

I CAN'T TAKE IT!

My eyes! My eyes!

K-Kuroeda, what are you doing?!

So it was a defective weight loss potion
that caused this whole mess,

and the dark elf was the culprit...

You despicable dark elf
and your megalo-butt!

Why would you do such a thing?!

I didn't do it on purpose...
Blimp-bellied elf...

Excuse me?!

N-Now, now... There's no need
to get so angry, Elfuda.

If the victim himself says so...

Kuroeda, why'd you make
the weight loss potion?

You're an honest, upstanding person,

so I feel like you must have
some sort of reason.

I just...

You helped me out, so I just thought...

I thought a weight loss potion might
make your job a little bit easier...

But I never meant for THIS to happen...

I'm sorry.

I'm really happy you feel
that way, Kuroeda.

But... no matter how easy it'd make things,
I'd rather not rely on those types of drugs.

'Cause I love this job.

Human...

That's why I'd rather do it myself—

so that I can feel like I'm providing people

with the best care possible.

He's full-grown again.

What the...?!

OVERgrown...

Yeah...

Talk about severe side effects...

Plus-Sized Elf

Kiddie Cure-all

Standing back leg lifts



Place your hands on a desk, the back of a chair,

or a wall. Without relying on momentum,

raise your leg up behind you.

Always keep your toes pointed outward.

Be sure your upper body remains stationary.