01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Do you like it?

I'll touch your bird for 3
bubble gums,
if you want to.

All my childhood
I waited for Peter Pan.

For him to wake me up and ask me
to fly to Neverland with him.

Can I bring them later?

OK.

But quite early on I realized
it wasn't Peter Pan I was
waiting for…

but for Tinker Bell.

And that instead of waiting,
I should start looking for her.

What are you thinking about?

Hey… what are you thinking
about?

Is everything OK?

Yeah.

Do you remember Wiola?

The girl who used to
spend summers here?

Right.

She's a scientist in Finland
now.
Do you know what they do there?

They make food from water alone.
That' s right.

- Like half of Warsaw
restaurants.
- No, no, don't laugh.

Pure protein out of water
and carbon dioxide.

She works in the team that
patented it,
"Science World" wrote about
them.

- Read it.
- I'm glad she turned out well.

Not "well".
She's going to save humanity.

From hunger and from drought.

Do you think global warming is a
joke?

Do you ever wonder what kind
of world Nina is going to live
in?

Nina and you. And Keith
Richards.

Richards? Give me a break.
Jagger, now he's…

I need to go, I've got a job at


But it's… 2.

I know, but I need to change,
because it's this reception.

Fancy-shmancy.

You know… let me show you
something.

I always said
you were your Uncle's carbon
copy.

- Can I borrow it?
- Are you kidding?

Keep it. With the other 10.

Auntie…

- What? Didn't you just turn 40?
- I did.

- Happy birthday!
- Thanks.

When I arrived at Neverland,
I found it was great.

With not just one Tinker Bell,
but lots of them.

And everyone happy and nice.

There's just one "but".

To have a good time in
Neverland,

now and then you have to acquire

those funny coloured papers
with portraits of dead guys.

And it all uphill from there.

- f*ck, Czuly, where've you
been?
- I had to…

- You're an hour late!
- OK!

f*cking change in the backroom!

f*ck!

- Where's the… ?
- On the right!

Sorry.

Want some?

I'll be quick.

It's my 4th night in a row.

It's cool.

And the fire alarm?

f*ck the alarm.

Words of wisdom.

What's the plan?

Pour twice what they ask,
we'll be home sooner.

- Thanks for the job.
- It's cool.

- We're there for each other,
right?
- Sure.

Will you take that f*ck?
Thanks.

What will it be?

The best stuff you've got.
For me, I mean.

And a Mojito for the h*.

And a Coke.

- A joke.
- Right on.

- Mojito. Where's Coke?
- Over there.

One minute! The can.

Hi.

- We need to talk.
- Now?

No, but I think it was moronic
for a thousand reasons.

OK…

- This is Michael.
I'm more fluent in Russian, so…

- Right.
- Find yourself a Kremlin ogre.

- They're handsome too. Take
Lavrov…
- Be nice, he's my business
associate.

What's your problem? What is it?
Can I help you?

No, nothing, I just like them
scribbled all over and…

- Let's leave this place, OK?
- Yeah, it stinks of d*ck.

I'll f*ck' kick his a*s…

f*ck off!

- I mean, please leave me alone.
- Leave, you?

Easy.

Guys…

How's the party?

How's the party?

f*cking sucks. Right.

I'd be f*cking bored too
if I was so f*cking lame as you.

Oh, f*ck!

No, I'm just kidding. OK.

I just wanted to say a few
words.

A big up for the director!

Really.

sh*t happened,
but man, did we get wasted.

And a big up for the actresses,
because, man, did we…

on set, right?

Besides the movie is awesome.

So, I kindly thank you for…
casting me in this shitty movie.

Which will have a great box
office, why?
Because you'll pay to see it,

because you're f*cking idiots!

That's all…

- Here, guys, I think he's had
enough.
- I'll k*ll you!

Tips. For the f*ck.

Thank you, you're awesome.

See ya!

And the fire alarm?

f*ck the alarm.

The best thing about Neverland

is that I'm a hero there.

Everybody loves me.

And I feel this great…

beautiful… serenity.

What's the address, again?

Hello?

What's the address?

Quiet… my Aunt is sleeping…

Say, what?

What's our destination?

Here, this is it…

just be f*cking quiet.

But always,
when you return from Neverland…

everything aches.

You can't move your arm or leg.

And you're thirsty as hell.

You don't know where you are
or how you got there.

And suddenly you feel the
handcuffs
that are always on you.

The ones you fall asleep in,
brush your teeth, shower,

the ones you f*ck in…

The hangover just makes them
twice as tight.

The only thing that'll get them
off…

is cash.

Sadly.

Nothing else.

Czuly, f*ck…

that place was your life!

Your business, man!

Not the 7th chick this month
you just got bored with.

I've had enough.

Of what? Because a neighbour
flooded your joint?

- People's lose factories in
fires.
- But they're insured!

They don't do it all by
themselves,
without a f*cking clue, drunk.

No, man.
You just can't fight for
anything.

No, Elka.

I can't take care of anything.

- That too.
- Thanks.

- Truth above all, remember?
- Sure.

Truth above all!
So, what's up with your
associate?

Well…

He said that…

either we move together to LA…

and he pays my bills…

or we're over.

You're f*cking hitting the
jackpot
and complaining.

The Spaniard also
wanted to take you to Madrid?

I'm like you.
Making realistic assessments.

Or maybe it's…

that we're afraid of
obligations?

I don't think it's that simple.

You've got a daughter.

She's permanent,
but you're not scared.

No, but I'm scared for her
so much I…

You wouldn't believe.

My greatest nightmare is that
Matylda
and her as*h*le die in a car
crash

and I get stuck with Nina, here.
And I can't handle it.

- Handle what?
- Everything!

Not being an idiot.

You're not an idiot.

If I weren't, I wouldn't have
the power cut off.

True.

And I'd wake up everyday
with a normal guy in my bed.

But then we wouldn't be sitting
here,
right?

L'chaim.

L'chaim.

I'm here about my bill.

- Cash or charge?
- No, no...

There must be some mistake.

- It's not a mistake.
- Are you sure?

- Then maybe instalments…?
- It wouldn't work.

I mean, you'd turn…

the power back on
and after some time I'd…

You're wasting time.

I don't follow…

I'm just a cog. The machine is
powerful
and follows it's own logic.

My sympathy is irrelevant.

I'm just a cog, controlling
numbers
on the screen.

The machine makes the calls.
The machine is infallible.

- Did you come up with that
yourself?
- Cash or card?

Or maybe I'll come back later.

- Pour me an employee one.
- On the cuff.

What cuff, bro, they cut my
power off.

Yo, homie…
I need to ask you something.

If you need to, then ask.

Is it true you flooded the cafe

because you were lying wasted
in a tub with your neighbour?

Give me the f*cking employee
beer.

Is it true or not?

The beer?

Bottled!

Don't tell me, If you don't want
to.
I get it.

Unless you want to.

There's this deal, tomorrow…
it's interesting, nice.

There's a pretty buck to be
made.

It'll be fun, you'll see.

You'll get your power back.
Light, gas. You'll be f*cking
golden!

But you could connect power
illegally.

This dude from Szkolna,
what was his name…

You know…

Pinocchio! He had it on like
that
for 6 months.

And…?

He went to jail, but you know…
there's power in prison, right?

- The deal. - What deal?
- Your deal, tomorrow.

- We'll go to Tworki.
- It's the highest time.

But seriously, there's this
dude,
my Uncle's friend

and he's got this business deal…

- and there's cash to be made.
- On what?

They poisoned her! She's peeing
red!
The f*cking phone, quick!

We have to go to the hospital.

Unlock it! The f*cking taxi
drivers
won't take us!

- You're coming with me.
- I won't manage on my own!

- Be a human being!
- Janek, it's your shift in 15!

I need help!

Hello!

What's going on?

Doctor, I beg you.
Someone poisoned her, save her!

She's my only friend.

Your only friend?

I guess I'm out of luck.

With women?

Chin up, man.

A lot of chicks will fall
for a cool dude like you.

You've got the looks, you like
dogs...

- Dogs? How is that relevant?
- What do you mean?

If you like dogs…

or even better, if you have a
dog,

preferably from a dog pound…

than you've got it all.
Just take your pick.

Buy you know that,
you're not 4 years old.

The problem is…
people here treat people like
shoes.

You must've had some
really bad experiences.

And yours were all f*cking
awesome?

People don't realize
that loving someone is hard
work.

- It's not hard work.
- What is it, then?

I don't know.

If I knew, I wouldn't be…
doomed.

Doomed?

Do you see "Peter Pan"
written on my forehead?

Interesting, because they see
it.

Only in the morning light, of
course.

She'll make it.

Hallelujah!

What's up.

Wow. You, here?

Czuly, I've got to work
somewhere.
Sorry.

No, why? It's cool.

I'm glad.

It's OK.

Hi, Janek. Pour me one.

Keep it.

- Come on…
- You can always come to me for
a pint.

- Don't insult me.
- You don't insult me.

- I see you've bonded.
- For life.

She's a great girl.
Used to work for me.

- How's life?
- They cut my f*cking power.

- You can come to me.
- For a free pint? - No, to
work.

You don't return to barkeeping
after having your own place.

I know it wouldn't be an honour
for you,
but it would be for us.

You're a living legend.

- Like Roman, only younger.
- And not as handsome.

Thank you very much,
but I prefer this side of the
bar.

What a beautiful day.

First I get a lead in a movie…

and then I see this b*tch
through the window.

Who humiliated me at the
reception.

Congrats on the lead,
but this is not a set.

- Say what?
- No a*usive behaviour here,
f*ck off.

Doll…

you like those f*gg*t parades,
right?

Sissy boy… come here.

Well? And now what?

You couldn't even count up to
the sum
I've lost because of you.

You cost me a part
in f*cking "Major Pilecki"!

And an energy drinks deal.
A mil in total.

You deserved it.

Do you know what happens now?

We'll take a walk.

- Go, then.
- With you.

- Out!
- Easy…

Now you'll leave and think it
over.

Janek, my boy!

- What the f*ck?
- Janek!

Bruce Lee!

You'll get a raise!

- What?
- A great guy.

You know what?
Better pay your power bill.

What's this about?

Listen… this guy…

imports this…

sh*t from China.

sh*t? What for?
People sh*t here too.

sh*t as in… plastic.

So is it sh*t or plastic?

Plastic toys.

What kind of toys?

All kinds, toys for playing,
Czuly…

What toys are there? Colourful.

- What f*cking toys?
- f*ck…

Didn't you have toys as a kid?
For children.

Is it legal?

Who cares? Business is business.

- You mean you don't know what
it is?
- I do! I didn't inquire.

I didn't ask if it's…
building blocks or…

The guy is OK.

Trust me.

The guy's really OK, I'm telling
you.

I worked with him on a golf
course,
remember?

- You carried his clubs.
- Yup. That too.

And he wants to do business with
you.

He f*cking likes me,
I'm likeable, yes?

You are.

Welcome!

Do come in!

Dandy! Just dandy!

So this is Master Czulkowski's
son?

- I love him. Welcome!
- My pleasure.

Konski. Come inside.

I've got your father's works,
I'll show you.

I bought the first ones
in the 70-ies, you know?

They weren't so expensive then.

Your Daddy, he likes the dirty
stuff.
I bet he does.

Right…

Dandy! It's just dandy you're
here.

- I'll go first.
- Please do. Of course.

This is… a Unicorn, for example.

I didn't have such toys. You?

And you just…

pardon my French, stick it up
the a*s.

Right. The plan is to open
a chain of stores.

In small towns.

Where people would buy this,
but are too embarrassed.

I need to f*cking sell it,
I've got a container of it.

Shipped by mistake,
instead of My Little Ponies.

But this is… it could be a great
idea.

And Dobromir here
offers us a partnership.

We'll work it out.
Everyone will be happy.

- I'm back, Daddy.
- Baby girl!

Baby girl, come here.

Meet Mr. Czulkowski.

His dad painted that beautiful
painting we've got in the dining
room.

Look who's come to visit us!
It's just dandy.

- It's very nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

Luiza, my only baby daughter.

Very talented. She studies
at the Kozminski University in
Warsaw,

she plays the piano, the harp

she fences…

She's my only treasure.

Oh, and she paints, too,
pastels.

- No, Daddy, come on…
- Dandy.

That's right.

- Oh, right, Mr…
- Czuly.

Mr. Czulkowski, is there any
chance

of showing Luiza's works
to your father?

I would be deeply obliged.

Daddy, how about Mr. Czuly
sees them himself first?

Sees what?

Oh, right! Great idea!

Go ahead, take Mr. Czuly, and…

They're… very nice.

You like them?

- I hear you're pretty good at
fencing.
- That too.

You like?

Well… this horse is very pretty.

It's my favourite, too.

So, are you just going to stare
or will you f*ck me?

What happened to my Daddy?

Fortunately, it was just a panic
attack.

We have to wait till he wakes
up.

Damn...

It's not that bad. You know, I…

I ended up like that once,
because
I thought was having a heart
attack.

But it turned out to be just
nerves.

- Stupid f*cking prick.
- Yeah, because you've lost
millions.

Can't you keep your d*ck
in your pants?

f*ck, it's no use telling you.

Next time bring my old man.

With a halberd…
for a f*cking threesome.

Tickets, please.

I'm sorry.

Your tickets, please.

Get f*cking lost.

Sorry!

The real Peter Pan had his
buddies.

The Lost Boys.

They were a g*ng of true
friends.

Devoted, loyal… brave.

They could kick anyone's a*s,
even that handless pirate
jerk's.

And even Tinker Bell
couldn't come between them.

There was no money in real
Neverland.

No one needed it.

No one wore handcuffs.

No one had to smile when it
reeked.

To shove oneself into one's a*s,
pretending it's raining.

No. No one had to
deny themselves anything.

In real Neverland…

which never happened.