02x15 - The Weather Stick

[bunniefuu]

[Bird of prey shrieks]

Tyrannis: Thank you all
for coming out.

I know dry season has been
hard on all of us.

Brutus: When is this
gonna be over?

Miriam: I'm tired
of drinking sand.

Joshua: My pee stream is like
half of what it used to be.

Tyrannis: I get it.
We all hate dry season.

But there are benefits.
Dry season drives

the tickle trolls north,
far away from here.

Brutus: What's so bad about the
tickle trolls? They sound fun.

Tyrannis: Trust me, they gave
themselves that name

to lure you in.
They are ruthless!

But we'll get through this,
and as we all know,

surviving hardship together
is what creates a sense

of community.
Brutus: Does it?

Tyrannis: Yes, sometimes! So,
to help us all get through it,

I've organized Dry Fest.
We're making it fun,

like we did
with swarming locust season.

Joshua: No one enjoyed
Locust Fest.

Tyrannis:
I seem to remember you

winning
the locust-eating contest.

Joshua: They flew
into my mouth when I yawned.

Tyrannis: Are you gonna give
your medal back?

Joshua:
Let's not go crazy.

Tyrannis: OK, then.
We've got a lot

of fun dry-season
activities planned.

Later on, we'll have
a slam poetry contest

called "What I Hate
About Dry Season!"

Woman: This sucks!
Man: Yeah!

Man 2: Window dressing at best!
Tyrannis: I'm sorry.

What do you want me to do?
Brutus: Fix my melted house!

Joshua:
Strengthen my pee stream!

Miriam: Can you just
make it less dry?

Tyrannis: Are you seriously
criticizing me

for the weather now?
Miriam: Hey, you signed up

for this when you called
yourself king.

Brutus: I see this as more
of a referendum

on his leadership in general.
[Citizens shout]

Scott, slam poetry style:
Season's too dry,

dust in my eye!
Pee stream's light

and I blame King Ty!

It's more of a referendum
on his leadership in general.

Woman: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Tyrannis:
Slam poetry's canceled!

[Theme music playing]

♪

[Male singers chanting]

♪

Singers: Whoo!

Tyrannis: It was one thing
when they blamed me

for the grain shortage.
That's on me

for storing the grain
in the pig pen.

And I'll take the hit for
the pig obesity problem, too.

But the citizens are being
unreasonable here.

Shlub: I'd say you've got
yourself a popularity problem.

Stupendous: I got a problem.
My soldiers keep deserting

because of the heat,
and the punishment for deserters

is I gotta club 'em.

Which wastes my arm
for like a day and a half.

Isn't there a place
my soldiers could cool off?

Tyrannis: OK, this is one
I can solve.

Mom, your temple is
nice and cool.

Could Stupe's soldiers use that
as their barracks?

Deliria: Absolutely not!
My temple is for my worshipers.

Tyrannis: Aren't you overstating
the number of worshipers

you have by making it plural?
Deliria: For your information,

I have picked up
a small contingent

of very dedicated worshipers,
who love

watching me turn
into various birds.

Hippocampus: Bird watchers?
Deliria: Yes!

Tyrannis: Stupe, just convert
your soldiers to Mom worshipers.

Stupendous: That won't fly.
You know who soldiers worship.

I can't say her name.
Deliria: You can say it.

I have no problem
hearing her name.

Stupendous: Athena.
Deliria: Never say her name!

That was a test and you failed.

Hippocampus: Ty, I'm working
on something that can cool

everyone down.
It's called air conditioning.

Tyrannis: How does it work?
Hippocampus: No idea,

I only have the name so far.
Tyrannis: Well,

in the meantime, can you just
make the citizens heartier

and not such crybabies?
Hippocampus: Are we talking

about... selective breeding?

Cuz just say the word.
I'll start the program.

I'm itching to do it
with humans.

Tyrannis: No!
No selective breeding.

People should be free
to choose their life partners

through the tried
and true system

of arranged marriages
and brides for land.

Stupendous: Mom, can we
please use your temple?

Deliria: As long
as no one says that name.

Stupendous: Great.
I'll get started.

There's gonna be plenty
of room if we rip out

a few friezes and parapets.

Deliria: Don't touch
my parapets!

Shlub: Son, I really hate
to see you so down.

I think I know what
you need to do.

Tyrannis: Yes, just accept
that there are times

in a king's reign when he isn't
universally beloved.

Shlub: I was going to say cheat.
Tyrannis: Cheat?

Shlub: Let me show you
something.

It's in here somewhere.
Tyrannis: What is this stuff?

Shlub: I've been alive
for thousands of years.

I've collected a few
magic items in that time.

Tyrannis: Oh, is this
a genie in a lamp?

Shlub: Not quite.
It's an orgy in a lamp.

Be careful with it.

Woman, robocall voice:
Good morning, Master.

You have one orgy left.

Shlub: Nope, false alarm.

I'm saving you
for a special occasion.

[Lamp squeaks]

Ah, here it is.

This is a weather stick.
You can control

the elements with it.
[Whooshing]

Tyrannis: Whoa!
Where did you get this?

Shlub: I got it from my friends,
the Placeans.

It's quite flexible
if you know how to use it.

[Thunder]

Now, you and I both know
you have a hard time

getting people to like you.
Tyrannis: Of course.

Because I'm an authority figure.
Shlub: Sure,

let's say it's that.
But in my thousands of years

on this earth, one thing
has always been true:

everyone loves you
if you have a pool.

Tyrannis: That is true.
But I'm not going to cheat

just to get people to love me.
Dry season serves a purpose.

It drives
the tickle trolls north.

Also, surviving hardships
together is what creates

a sense of community
is what I'm telling them.

Shlub: Suit yourself.
If you'll excuse me,

it's nap time.
If Daddy doesn't nap,

Daddy gets cranky.

Hippocampus: Ugh,
this heat is unbearable.

Look at my bowl.
I've got an algae bloom!

Stupendous: All right, guys,
this is your new barracks.

Deliria:
Hang on, hang on.

My worshipers expect
an entrance.

[Bird shrieks]

Worshipers: Ooh!

Worshiper 1: Oh, I know
that one! That's a kingfisher.

Worshiper 2: Ooh, hooded crow!
Worshiper 1: Red-backed shrike!

Show the plumage!
Show the plumage!

Worshipers: Yeah!

All hail Deliria!

Deliria:
Thank you, thank you.

It was hard.
I'm amazing.

Thank you.
Hippocampus: Mom, I'm impressed.

Bird nerds are
highly intelligent

and socially inept,
which makes them

even smarter, in my opinion.

Stupendous:
All right, guys, move in.

Be respectful of the losers
if you can.

Hippocampus: Huh.
Big, buff soldiers.

Nerdy bird people.

I can't remember.
Did Ty come out as pro-

or anti-selective
breeding experiment?

Deliria: You remember
things he says?

Hippocampus: If we cross-bred
their intelligence

with their muscles,
we'd create a super-citizen

that could fight and think.

And also love birds, I guess.

Stupendous: Interesting.
Soldiers with lovers

in the city are soldiers
who don't desert the city.

Deliria: And if I had worshipers
who were smart and beefy,

guess whose hair I'd be in?
Stupendous: Athena's?

Deliria: I told you
to never say it!

Angry bird exit!
[Crowd gasps]

[Bird shrieks]
Man: Majestic.

Tyrannis: Good citizens.
I think I have something

that will make dry season
go a lot faster.

What I'm wearing is called
a mud suit. Very cooling.

Joshua: You think we
haven't tried that?

It dries, and then
you're just dirty.

Brutus: Come on, King Ty!
We want action!

[Citizens murmur angrily]

Tyrannis:
Who wants a pool?

[Thunder]

[Citizens cheering]

Scott: Cannonball!
Citizens: Ooh!

Scott: My leg's a little
broken, I think.

Tyrannis: I'll be damned.

The old Mantitaur was right.

The whole city is in the pool.

Even Baby Charybdis is here.

Baby Charybdis: Hey, Ty!
Great pool!

Brutus: Hell yeah!
I love this pool!

[Ball pops]
Baby Charybdis: Aw!

Scott: Hail Tyrannis!
Hero of dry season!

[Citizens cheer]
Tyrannis: Oh, you guys.

I just want everyone
to have fun.

Ah, Dad!
Shlub: I see you're having fun

with the weather stick.
Glad you've come around.

Just remember: a little
does go a long way.

Tyrannis: Right, yeah, sure.
Shlub: I do say this

as an expert in indulgence.

Tyrannis: Indulgence, yes!
What's this now?

Farmer: Uh, your grace?
Fantastic job with the pool.

Tyrannis: No need
to thank me for the pool.

Seeing my citizens refreshed
and grateful is enough.

Farmer: One little thing.
My cows are dying of thirst.

They're like my family.
Who I milk.

Tyrannis: Oh, right. Well, I
wouldn't be "the people's king"

if I didn't help out
your cow fam.

What do you say

to a world-class
irrigation system?

Farmer:
I can't thank you enough!

Please, take one
of my cow daughters.

Do whatever with it!
Tyrannis: Oh, that's OK.

Farmer: Go on.
Tyrannis: I'm not having sex

with a cow!
Farmer: Huh?

Tyrannis: What? Oh!
Farmer: Is that what you thought

I was offering?
Tyrannis: No, no, no,

of course not.
Sex, with a cow? Who would...

No, I was just mentioning,
uh, that... in fact,

you know what?
I will take one of those cows.

Farmer: I don't think so.
Tyrannis: Right. Fair enough.

Stupendous: OK, company!
Time for mess!

Hippocampus: Seating
arrangements are mandatory!

I don't expect them
to mate right away.

As a male scientist,
I estimate 10 to 15 minutes

of light conversation before
intercourse. Let's observe.

Soldier 2: So you just believe
everything you see on urns?

Worshiper 2: You think what,
the whole thing was faked?

She didn't k*ll her kids?
Soldier 2: You're the one

listening to mainstream Medea!
Hippocampus: Yikes.

Let's try another table.
Soldier 3: I saw my best friend

slaughtered at
the Battle of Thebes.

He was standing as close
to me as you are right now.

We were only boys.
Worshiper 1: Uhh...

are you gonna ask me
anything about me?

Hippocampus: Maybe this is gonna
be harder than we thought.

Tyrannis: Ahem! Ahem!
Please note

that persons having
active leprosy,

or who have had leprosy
within the previous 14 days,

shall not be allowed
to enter the pool.

Leper: Aw!
Woman: My beloved king?

We heard you're giving
away water

and, well, we'd love some

for Krapopolis' orphanage.
To bathe them and such.

Tyrannis: You had me
at "my beloved king!"

[Thunder]

Shine up those motherless
boys and girls!

Woman: Oh, we use the girls
for kindling,

to heat the boys' baths.
Thanks!

Long live King Ty!

Man: King Ty? If you don't mind.
Tyrannis: Thank you.

I was starting to think
about what that woman just said.

She wasn't saying
that they burn the girls

for kindling, was she?

Man: I've heard you're
giving out water.

Tyrannis: Yes, thank you!
Thank you again.

Ooh, please, go ahead.
Man: I've kinda been debating

adding a little pond
to my property,

maybe putting some fish in it?
Tyrannis: Say no more.

Will this do?
[Weather stick whooshes]

[Thunder]

Man: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[Chuckling] I mean, yeah,

but I want to reiterate
that I'm still

in the "waffling" phase here.

I guess, if I decide
against the fish pond,

I'll just dump this water
into a gulch.

Tyrannis: Long as you're happy!
Who's next?

[Horse nickers]
Well, hello, How can I help?

Woman: Well,
I have this cactus.

The soil feels
pretty moist, but...

Tyrannis: Better safe
than succulent-less!

[Weather stick sputters]
Oh. Hmm.

That's weird.
Let me just...

[Citizens cheer]
Woman: I'm not normally

into someone with
your leg shape, but would you

ever want to "hang out"?
Tyrannis: Absolutely.

Maybe you'd like to see
the city's famous fountain show.

Woman: You have a fountain show?
Tyrannis: We're about to!

Hippocampus: Nothing like a
little game to get things going.

Worshiper 1:
OK, this is a tough one.

What... uh... I... hmm.

I don't know.
[Bell rings]

Soldier 3: Odobenus the Great?
How did we not get that?

Worshiper 1: Am I supposed
to know who that is?

Soldier 3: He's the jolly
walrus-man hybrid

who forges our armor!
You could have given

so many clue words!
Walrus! Man! Forge!

Knowing smile! Likes to r*pe!
Hippocampus: I don't get it.

This icebreaker
always works with mice.

Stupendous: I don't think
smart people and people who can

do a one-handed pull-up
are meant to talk to each other.

Deliria: How are
my super-soldiers coming along?

Hippocampus:
Not great yet.

Deliria:
What an incredible surprise.

Who would have guessed,
when the soldiers can see all

the worshipers' veins,
and the worshipers can smell

all the soldiers'...
well, all the soldiers.

Here.
[Lightning sparks]

[Crowd gasps]
Hippocampus: Hey!

We're trying to create lasting
emotional connections here!

Worshiper 3: Hi, I'm Katie.
My friends are annoying.

Can I hang with you?
Stupendous: Stand down, Hippo.

Hippocampus: But... come on!
I was just...

Worshiper 4: Hey, do you want
to hear me talk about

the Sardinian warbler
for a really long time?

Hippocampus: Do I!
Worshiper 4: So, starting

with the plumage...

[Dance music playing]

Shlub: Isn't instant
gratification

just so incredibly gratifying?

Tyrannis: I don't know why
it took me so long.

Joshua: Hey, Ty-bone!
Great pool.

Tyrannis: People are
giving me nicknames!

Joshua: You mean
new nicknames.

Tyrannis: What was
my previous nickname?

Joshua: Ha ha! We don't have
to get into that.

Tyrannis: See, before,
they felt they couldn't get

too close to me.
They were too concerned

about the decorum between
a king and his subjects.

Shlub: Let's say
that's it, yes.

Tyrannis: But now, look at this.
Miriam, up top.

Miriam:
Looking good, Not-Dork.

Hey, can you wet down
my sandals?

They just look better
with a little sheen.

Tyrannis: Sure thing.

Shlub: Son, might you be
overdoing it a little?

Tyrannis: Whaaat?
Now who's the uptight one?

Grab yourself a Ty Colada and
start your next nap right there.

Joshua: Hey, you guys want
to see my pee stream?

Tyrannis: Oh, Joshua, we really
don't need to see that...

That is quite robust.

[Loud dance music playing]
Stupendous: OK, this is crazy.

Some of the soldiers
who deserted heard about this

and came back,
with more soldiers!

And everyone's humping!
Hippocampus: Something about

the music and the darkness
and the alcohol.

We've created an atmosphere

of artificial sexual arousal!

Stupendous: No one can hear
anything anyone is saying!

And they're loving it!

Hippocampus:
I'm gonna live forever!

It's a feeling I'm having
right now due to the intensity

of the atmosphere!
Deliria: What?

Tyrannis: Oh, hey, Kolax,
there's probably gonna be

a lot of citizens who want
to talk to me today.

Kolax: Oh, no doubt, boss.
I'll keep 'em away.

No one gets close.
That's the rule, right?

Tyrannis: No, no,
that's the thing.

Ordinarily I would need
protection,

but I want to mingle with
the citizens now.

Kolax: I can't let you.
It's too risky.

Tyrannis: We're living
in a new era, Kolax.

One where people like
their king.

I'm parched.
Anyone want water?

Yesterday I got this thing
to do both flat and bubbly.

Ahem.

Damn. What is wrong
with this thing?

Shlub: I've never seen it
do that before.

You may have overused it.
Tyrannis: Overused it?

You can't overuse it.

Can you overuse it?
Shlub: I don't know.

Tyrannis: Well,
how do you fix it?

Shlub: I don't know that,
either.

I've never been
in this situation before.

Tyrannis: Well, we've got
to get it working.

I'm in a really good place
right now.

I've got citizens loving me,
cows winking at me.

I need to keep this going.
Scott: King,

we've got a problem.
The Placeans are here.

Tyrannis: Oh, your friends
who gave us the stick.

Maybe they can fix it.
Scott: Yeah, no.

They're attacking.
Tyrannis: Attacking?

Chief Ravdi: I am Chief Ravdi,
of the Placean people!

Shlub: Ravdi, old friend!

Chief Ravdi:
Don't "old friend" me, Shlub!

You stole our weather stick!
Tyrannis: You stole it?!

Chief Ravdi: Open your gates
or your whole city

will pay the price!
Scott: Should we open the gates?

Tyrannis: It doesn't really seem
like that's the best course

of action, Scott, now, does it?!
Scott: I don't know!

I just work here!
Tyrannis: Dad, fill me in.

What have you not told me?
Shlub: Ravdi's a good fellow.

This has to be
a simple misunderstanding.

Chief Ravdi: Fire!

Shlub: Maybe a misunderstanding
on my part. Ha ha!

Ty: There's no need
for violence!

I'm sure this is all
just a silly mix-up.

Can we say that? Can we pretend
that's what it is?

Chief Ravdi: The silly mix-up
was me allowing this thief

to participate
in our Friendship Festival!

Did those trust falls
mean nothing to you?

Tyrannis: Dad, you told me
you got the weather stick

from your friends.
Shlub: They are my friends,

and I did get it.
Tyrannis: But he's saying

you stole it!
Shlub: Stealing is a... hmm,

it's a kind of getting,
but I didn't steal anything.

I simply abided by the rules
of finders keepers.

Tyrannis: Finders keepers?
Shlub: Yes, if you find

something... here's the best bit...
you get to keep it.

I guess when I said they
gave it to me, I meant

they gave it to me
in a holistic sense,

by leaving it somewhere
where I could find it.

Tyrannis: Mm! Look, my dad
is a silly old man,

and I promise
we can make this right.

Chief Ravdi: Lightning!
Tyrannis: Ow!

You have other sticks?

Chief Ravdi: You better believe
we have other sticks!

Shlub: They're a stick-based
culture, which is why

they shouldn't mind losing one.
Chief Ravdi: Biting flies!

[Flies buzzing]
Shlub: Ow! Ow! Damn you!

Tyrannis: Please, I see
that we made a mistake,

and I'd love to make this right.
Why don't you stay

and enjoy our many waterfalls
and lazy rivers?

Chief Ravdi:
You don't get it!

Tyrannis: Or perhaps you'd
like to experience

our world-famous
slip-then-slide?

It turns accidents
into fun-ccidents.

If we just get this thing
working again,

I promise there's
enough water for everyone.

Chief Ravdi:
Only there isn't!

The weather stick
doesn't make water.

It simply moves it
from place to place.

So not only did you
steal our stick,

you stole our lifeblood.

Our livestock.
Our live... crops.

Our vegetables!
Everything!

Shlub: Hello.

Ty: Did you know about this?
Shlub: Who's to say?

I've heard a lot of things
over the years.

They don't always stay with me.
Besides, I just gave you access

to the stick, I didn't tell you
to drain the world!

Chief Ravdi: Dust in your eyes!
Shlub: Ow! Stop it!

Tyrannis: Chief Ravdi,
we needed water.

My father saw that I was
in need, and while he should not

have taken your weather stick
in the first place,

surely you see
that he was simply trying

to help out his son
in an emergency.

Chief Ravdi:
It was no emergency!

You're running a sexy
chariot wash!

[Chariot washers cheer]
Tyrannis: OK,

it did get a little out of hand.
Chief Ravdi: Sunburn!

Tyrannis: Ow! If using
the water stick meant we were

taking water from someplace
else, aren't you giving me

somebody else's sunburn?
Chief Ravdi: Somehow,

I don't think they're going
to complain! Sleet!

Tyrannis: Ah! How many sticks
do you guys have?

Chief Ravdi: Lots!
Tyrannis: What do I have

to do to make it right?

Chief Ravdi:
Give us the water back.

Tyrannis: All of it?
Chief Ravdi: Yes, all of it!

Tyrannis: OK, just let me think.
Ahem. Dad, you know these guys.

What kind of damage can they do?

Just kind of this
relatively topical stuff?

Shlub: I don't know.
I'm not a stick man.

I'm more of
a finders-keepers man.

Tyrannis: Of course
you don't know.

It seems like the worst they can
do right now is biting flies.

I'll just take my chances.
[Chief Ravdi whistles]

[Horses whinny]

Shlub:
Ravdi, you old b*stard,

you've built a bigger stick,
haven't you?

Tyrannis: This is probably
a stupid question,

but where the hell are
Mom and the army?!

Stupendous: It's still so hot.
And there's no moisture

left in my body.
Gimme some of your helmet water.

Hippocampus: Get off!
I'm already flaking!

Soldier 4: That was great.
Soldier 2: Yeah, last night,

I drank wine till I was
disoriented and unable

to perform sexually.
I feel ill today.

Let's do it again tonight!
Hippocampus: Weren't you one

of the deserters trying
to leave Krapopolis?

Soldier 4: Yeah.
Changed my mind, I guess.

Turns out if I drink enough
and dance around at night,

I forget my life
during the day is miserable.

Hippocampus: So people will stay
in the most disgusting,

awful city if it has some kind
of "night life."

We need a name
for this principle.

Oh! What'd you say
your name was?

Soldier 4: Miami.
Hippocampus: Ehh...

Stupendous: Technically I should
beat these deserters.

But maybe letting them have fun
is better than clubbing them?

Hippocampus: That's what we
call it: "deserting"!

No! "Clubbing."
Stupendous: Hey, Mom. You're up.

Anybody pregnant in there?
Deliria: I don't think so.

Most of your troops had
too much wine to raise the flag,

if you know what I mean.
Stupendous: Ohh, right.

I think I know what you mean.
Well, it didn't help that

your worshipers spent half the
night in the bathroom crying.

Deliria: Katie was going
through some stuff.

You know, I think
we should do this again.

Or at least, roughly
every seven days.

We can call it
"Septimal Night Veneration."

Hippocampus: We're already
calling it "clubbing."

Deliria: Well, we'll see
what catches on first.

Tyrannis: So that's probably
some sort of doomsday stick,

right?
Shlub: I had no idea they have

this kind of power.
Tyrannis: I should have known

there would be
crazy consequences if I used

something from your magic box.
Shlub: Yes, you should have,

and I did warn you.
Tyrannis: We have two options.

Option one is we all die.
Option two is I give them back

their water,
and people don't like me.

Shlub: I think it should be
fairly obvious, son.

Tyrannis:
Yeah, easy for you to say.

People have always liked you.
But now the Placeans are going

to do whatever that stick does,
and the tickle trolls aren't

even here, so I'm starting
to think they were just

something you and Mom made up
to mess with me!

Shlub: Well, that's on you
for being thirty

and still believing
in tickle trolls.

But I believe I owe you
an apology.

Tyrannis:
Any more to that?

Shlub: Oh, I haven't
done this in a while.

I thought that would be enough.
What's called for, specifics?

Tyrannis:
You're actually asking? Yes!

Shlub: All right, all right.
Um...

I just hated seeing you being
unhappy and unliked, son.

But as your dad,
I should get used to that.

No? More? Is that enough?
Tyrannis: It'll do.

And, as a leader,
in the future, I should resist

overpromising
and immediate gratification.

True leadership lies
in under-promising,

overdelivering,
and slow progress.

Shlub: Ha!
It's a whole back and forth!

We're both apologizing!

What fun we're having!
Ah, ha ha ha ha!

Tyrannis: Yes. You know,
we have done this before.

Shlub: Well, son, even if
this whole town turns on you...

and they will...
I'll still love you.

Tyrannis: Thanks, Dad.
I guess no matter what,

they will never be satisfied,
and that's something

I have to be OK with as king.

I think I know what I
have to do.

Everybody out of the pool.
Swim time is over.

Citizens: Boo!

Joshua: I'm not getting out
till my toes are all wrinkly!

Tyrannis: This water
you're all enjoying,

and that's making you all
love me, was stolen.

So I'm afraid it
must be returned.

Citizens: Boo!
Tyrannis: Yes,

you can hate me if you want.
Brutus: We do!

Tyrannis:
And I accept that.

Or I will someday.

Man: Oof. Oww!

Citizens: Huh?

Woman: Oh!

Man 2: Oh... oof!

Tyrannis: There you go.
Chief Ravdi: And the stick?

Tyrannis: What? I can't sneak
anything past you guys.

Are we good now?
Chief Ravdi: We're good.

Now you know never to mess
with the Placeans.

Ha ha ha ha! Man!

That huge decoy stick
works every time.

Tyrannis: Well,
now that everyone hates me,

I might as well drown
my sorrows in an orgy.

Shlub: No, no.
I have something else

in my magic box for you.
It's a hug.

Tyrannis: But what about
the orgy lamp?

Shlub: Haven't you learned
anything? That's just for me.

Tickle troll leader: Ah,
another delicious meal

under another perfect moon.

A tickle troll giggle
for this beautiful day!

[Laughter]

What's this?
What's happening?

Tickle troll shaman:
I knew this day would come.

[Frog croaks]
It is prophesied.

For millennia, we tickle trolls
lived in harmony with humans.

We visited them in their sleep,

and they rewarded us
with their delicious laughter.

Heh! But then, parents started
using us as a threat.

"Beware the tickle trolls,"
they said.

"Their name is
a fake-out," they said.

"Brush your teeth or
the tickle trolls will get you!"

"Don't wet your bed or the
tickle trolls will get you."

Heh! No longer did the children
bless us with their laughter.

They screamed
at the sight of us!

So we stopped tickling them.

Generations of kids grew up

never even seeing us!

They believed
they had been tricked.

And just as foretold
by our sacred oral tradition,

when the last little boy
stopped believing in us,

we would disappear.
[Frog croaks]

Tickle troll leader: Wait.
You knew this day

would come,
but you never told us?

Tickle troll shaman:
It never came up.

Tickle troll:
We have an oral tradition?

Man: Did you get any
of that?

Woman: Bento.
[People cheer]