Midwinter (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Thank you guys

for coming up tonight.

I appreciate everyone being here.

I'm actually gonna start with

one of the oldest songs

that I've written just

'cause I feel like

I need to do that

with you guys tonight.

It didn't make it

on to the first album

'cause I was uptight.

So you hear it now.

I'm gonna ask you guys actually

to put your phones away for this one.

I kind of just want us to be all together right now.

So yeah, just be with me.

I'll be with you and we'll, we'll share this moment.

I think it'll be really special.

Does that sound cool?

Yes.

Okay. Some of you might know this one.

Put my heart in a cargo and ship it West

Where the breeze is warm

And the people wear less

Thinking about God and religion makes me sweat

But I need some kind of affection in my chest

Stand in line at the cinema down the block

The warmer they go just sneak

up on you with three knocks

I've seen this movie once before

But I don't come for a thrill anymore

And I've been trying to live this

But I need some kind of affection in my chest

So remove the heavy weight

It confesses the congregation awaits

Through the hollow day

Confused by how it's made

Smile like a child and once it fade

You've proved to be the greatest

Though used and unforsaken

You are the truth and I have been waiting

You are the truth and I have been waiting

Come on over lend me a

sober eyes I'll be fine tomorrow

I've been searching for something I can find

Help me feel my sorrow

Tell me tales I don't know

Pray until I let go

'cause I need some kind of affection

And I need some kind of affection

In my, in my

And I need some kind of affection

And I just, and I need

Some kind of, some kind of

Some kind of, I need some kind of

Some kind of, I need some kind of

Some kind of, I need some kind of

Some kind of, I need some kind of

Some kind of

Some kind of affection in my

I need some kind of affection in my

Thank you.

Oh, you gotta know.

But there's another pole coming.

Another big stick.

You gotta get these sticks outta here

so mom doesn't trip and fall.

Yeah.

You know. That's good.

We don't want that. You ready?

I'm ready. Pass to me.

I gotta tie your shoe. Come here.

Yeah. Gotta be safe out here so you don't trip and fall.

Dad, I really do.

And what do you feel

or see when you look at the bear?

Well at, at first I felt like the bear was my dad

and the whale was my mom.

But as I sit here, I feel like the bear is Jack.

That's an interesting shift. And the whale?

I'm the whale.

But now it's like Jonah and the whale.

I'm Jonah, and I've climbed inside the whale

and it's my armor.

Armor?

Yes.

And why do you think you need armor?

I don't know.

I guess it's always been a part of me.

So you can see the whale

and you are also the whale.

Yes.

Great. Now I'm curious what happens

when you as the whale turn to see who's watching?

Hmm.

Did you really f*cking even read it?

Of course I read it.

Yeah. And what did you think?

It sounds.

Oh, you think it looks good?

Yeah. You don't?

They want me to work with a co-writer for the single.

Well, that's within their right.

You wanna cut my ba*ls

and feed them to some prick?

f*cking god. That's hyperbolic. Don't you think?

I'm not signing that f*cking contract,

Mia.

I am not working with a co-writer.

They want to f*cking pay you a f*ck ton of money.

Does it look like I give a f*ck about a ton of money?

That doesn't f*cking happen anymore, man.

I don't care.

So they want you to write

with a f*cking co-writer, who f*cking cares?

I care, Dave. I care.

It's the price of admission.

f*ck you.

f*ck you. Seriously, dude.

Price of admission, I'm not a house they're buying.

I know. I f*cking,

I f*cking know, man.

Yeah.

I'm on your team.

I just wish I could trust money.

It's just a contract.

You know, it's more than that.

The label has been super cool with you.

They know you like I know you.

And they want what's best for you

like I want what's best for you.

So we make a little money along the way.

That sounds fun, right?

Yeah. Well, I'm the one who sings

for our f*cking diner, so.

Just wait to sign anything, okay?

Take a day or two, a week, whatever.

We'll just make them shake in their boots.

You can write a sh*t ton of songs

and you can pick out the one you love.

We'll tell the co-writer to go f*ck off, okay?

I'm with you.

Sorry.

Yeah. Okay.

I am.

Yeah. It was too much. Okay.

Play me a song.

Play you a song.

I'm gonna f*cking beat you with this guitar.

And when can we get that scheduled?

I see, it seems sort of late.

Yes. Yes, of course.

Jack will be happy to hear

he still has some positive influence around there.

Hi Mommy.

Okay.

Doctor's office.

Okay.

Okay. I'll have those transferred.

Okay. We will see you then.

From up here everything is so good.

I have a very handsome husband.

How have your dates been going?

I thought we agreed to let sleeping dogs lie.

Sleeping dogs don't leave bite marks.

Sorry. I told her not to do that.

It's okay. I'm happy it's going well.

Someone around here needs

something to look forward to.

Will you talk to your sister.

I will.

I, I'd like her to know the treatment plan.

Just let me survive the testing first.

We're gonna take good care of you. I promise.

I know. Of course. I know.

Just, I just want her to be filled in on everything.

Yes. But she's got her own sh*t going on right now.

I just wanna ease into the hard stuff.

Understood.

You don't, you don't have to cover it up.

I want people to think we're still kinky.

We are.

You know what I mean?

Good morning.

Hey.

Hey bud.

So interesting development

with our pharma friends.

I think we have a retainer plan in our hands.

The creative is a little bottleneck.

Do you know if we

have any outstanding payments

with our well usual suspects?

No, I don't think so.

Okay, 'cause we got some notice

from Jordan on accounts payable.

Mommy!

Come, come, come here right now.

I'm coming.

This is, no, this is a, this is a new word I'm spelling.

This is a new one.

So we'll start with this one on the bottom.

No, we start from that one.

Then, then we go to this word that is-

Quizzes. Quizzes.

Hey Goldie.

Yeah.

I love you.

Thanks mom.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.

If we're in each other's dreams,

we can be together all the time.

What did you dream of last night?

I didn't. I don't know.

You don't know?

Yeah.

Do you know what I think about dreams?

What?

I think there are a way for our soul

to tell us how it feels.

Oh.

Do you know what a soul is?

No.

It's the, inside of you

Kind of like pancakes.

Yep.

With sprinkles?

Yeah.

Like daddy makes?

Yeah.

Do you want me to tell her?

You just set it up. Go for it.

We wanted to see if you would officially

become Goldie's godmother.

Wait, are you serious?

Yes.

Okay. I just, I thought I already was.

It seems kind of spooky to ask me now.

No, we just recognized

that we're gonna be a little older

than some of the other parents on the soccer field.

And we'd like to know there's

gonna be an assistant coach.

We want to make you his legal guardian

should anything happen to us.

Okay. I am really flattered and it means a lot.

But please tell me you're not

going anywhere anytime soon,

no offense, Goldie.

You are the one.

Okay. I just don't understand

why you're asking me this now.

Just checking a few boxes.

You're here now and,

and we've been talking about this for a while.

Okay. Yeah, for sure.

It would be an honor to teach Goldie

how to survive under your roof.

He'll have to do his part. Hm?

Are you gonna tell me what's really going on or?

This is what's going on?

We've just been talking about our life and our family

and we wanna make sure we have our ducks in a row.

But the doctor thing, you're good.

We're visiting your dad next

week, leaving Goldie with him

and stopping in to see Dr. Ross for a quick visit.

f*ck. Okay, I knew something was going on.

Why didn't you tell me?

We know things with you have been a bit crazy

and with the good news about the writing project,

we just didn't wanna be sour grapes.

I can handle it.

I probably have to do another round of treatment.

Oh God. Okay. What a nightmare.

I, I, some tests came back

and they were a little off,

and we just wanna make sure

everything is working the way it's supposed to.

Is it serious?

We remain very hopeful.

Just some due diligence.

Okay, 'cause if you're really dying,

my toast was in terrible taste

and I'm never gonna forgive myself.

I got you, okay.

I know, I know.

And I'm not going anywhere.

Don't make a big thing of this.

But I want you to have mom's ring.

Why?

It's a godmother gift.

Sure.

It's meant for both of us.

I've had my turn.

It's a little big.

You can wear it as a necklace.

Ready?

One, two, three.

Go!

Go!

This time we're gonna have a, have...

Have what?

Have a, a contest to see who gets to,

who, who jumps the farthest?

Who jumps the farthest?

You or the polar bear?

Okay. You ready?

Go.

One, two, three. Go.

Oh, it looks like you...

It was you. It was you.

It looks like you won.

I just tumbled down a river, mega dam.

Okay. You're gonna try again?

One more time.

Yeah. Go.

This time polar bear beat you I think.

Yeah.

Here, can you give Auntie Sprinkles a big hug?

Oh, that was a good one.

Oh, I'm tired, now I'm tired.

Oh, I'm bended.

Drive safe.

Thanks for the wine.

Of course.

I love you.

I love you.

Call us if things get weird.

Maybe you should come to the Berkshires.

I wish.

I hate to disrupt Goldie schedule too much.

Kids are flexible.

Not this one.

I promise to only mess 'em up a little bit.

Get outta here.

Bye.

Where should I put this?

Oh yeah. On the table is good.

Perfect.

Thank you for getting that stuff.

I totally just forgot to bring food.

For sure. No problem.

Thanks for the opportunity.

Of course.

We're gonna have a good time.

Yeah.

If you don't mind,

maybe you could grab some firewood from outside.

Then we can roll our first on the record over dinner.

Sure.

Yeah. That'd be great.

Cool.

Okay. I'm just gonna put this here.

Tape recorder is a nice touch.

Yeah, it's my mom's.

So I think that we should start with the contract.

The record deal seems like it got off

to a wonky start.

Honestly, it, it, it wasn't so bad.

High class problems.

I just wanted to dive right in

and get started on the demos that I had sent.

But they really want me to bust something out

with this co-writer.

And you don't wanna co-write?

I think it would be a mess.

I've just always written alone.

Well, not entirely alone.

What do you mean?

I mean, wasn't your last album

all about your messy marriage?

So?

So you had some inspiration

before the chords made their way to your hands.

Whose side are you on?

Yours, definitely.

I'm just, don't you think muses

deserve a little credit?

Muse?

She was my wife, I think turned the liner notes.

Ah, well that album was a goddam bruiser.

Yeah. Well, that's all really just make belief.

Was it tough to write so honestly about sex?

I wish I never tried.

Say more.

It just felt a bit dangerous this time

and not in an artistic way.

Why is that?

Well, I think sex can be a liability

for artists as well as it should be.

And you just have to tread carefully.

And I think it got a bit messy

and things turned out a bit

worse than I had anticipated.

Do you mind if I bring up the affair?

Sure.

What was that like?

You know, using your infidelity

as inspiration for your album

and you know, that being known,

and yeah, what was that like?

Well, on one hand it was great.

It was beautiful.

I mean, I had to write it.

I mean, it would've came out one way or another, right?

So it was great. It was liberating.

It was cathartic. I think it hurt some people

and that wasn't my intention,

but I can't really control how people perceive it.

So it was a, it was weird.

I, I was very...

I still feel very torn about it, I guess.

Do you regret it?

No.

Well, the affair or the album?

Both.

Still no.

No. At the end of the day, I don't regret either of them.

Again, my, maybe I wish the outcomes

were a little bit different,

but it, it, it had to be,

it had to be said.

I had to write it.

It would've gotten ugly, I think,

regardless of whether I'd written some songs

about it or not.

That's what I love about the album.

You know, usually I've, I've seen plenty of artists,

you know, write albums about their grievances

about being cheated on,

but I don't know, yours was the first

I felt like really talked about being,

well, you know, for lack of a better word, the cheater.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

It, I think it's beautiful

in a way to pity the bad guy.

I mean, it didn't feel bad for me when it was happening.

It felt, it felt good, I guess.

I mean, it felt like free,

and like these were things

that had been stuck in my head forever

and I just needed to get them out.

And I wasn't thinking about them

in terms of I'm good or I'm bad.

It was just what it was.

But obviously when you're listening to it

from a certain perspective,

unless you're relating to it, I sound like an as*h*le

So it's, well, I, I think that's beautiful though.

I think you know that both sides are, are there,

I think that's, that makes it kind of fun.

It makes it dangerous in a good way.

Yeah, I get that.

And it's just interesting

'cause I've always, what I've always said about you

is I feel like that type of duplicity,

that complexity, that contradiction.

Contradiction. Sorry.

That, I think that's what gives you

a raw energy as an artist.

That sounds nice.

Yeah.

Do you, do you actually like my music?

Or is this an assignment?

No, I like your music.

What's your favorite song?

Willow First EP.

Mm. We were married near the lake under the Willow

and you buried me under the lake near the Willow.

Yeah. See what I find so honest about that

is that most people see marriage

as the beginning of something,

but with us we are also seeing

it as the end of something.

And do you relate, have you ever been married?

No.

Long-term relationship?

Yes, I am in one

or I guess I'm actually kind

of slowly coming out of one.

Is that why you're here?

I wrote Willow at a time

where commitment felt like a death rattle.

So you're divorced now?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Why didn't you end up reconciling?

Hmm. I fell in love,

which was my first mistake.

What's the story with the ring?

Oh, it was, it was my mom's.

It's very beautiful.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, I think that's a really good start.

Yeah.

Well, tomorrow I guess I'll have to write a hit song.

But tonight...

Hey, sorry, I know it's late over there.

I just wanted to say hi.

And that I miss you.

We need to talk when you get back.

I'll see you in the Wednesday meeting. Sleep tight.

I don't think you're supposed

to mix that one with booze.

It's fine. I'm fine.

I do it all the time.

Goldie's went to bed pretty easy tonight.

He's been good lately.

It's about the routine.

Yes. It'd be nice if that routine included you

doing bedtime more often.

So I can just cry for you the whole time.

Do you ever think

maybe we should have had one more?

I am just saying,

I love making a baby with you.

You wanna untie your tubes?

If it could make you happy,

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

So when's the last time you were home?

A long time. Probably a year. Before the tour. Yeah.

Which is weird.

But what's worse is that I,

I feel so weird to sleep in the same place

for more than two nights now.

Well listen, I will get outta your hair in the morning.

I don't wanna get in the way.

No, please.

I, I really like the company. It helps a lot.

Well, still I know that I'm a stranger, so, oh.

At this point my life

is comprised of mostly friendly strangers.

What about your band mates?

Are we back on the record?

Sorry, I don't mean to grill you.

I'm just curious.

Some strangers are closer than others.

Do you wanna snack?

Thought you never asked.

And honestly, I'm just

as much of a stranger here as you are.

Sometimes you gotta just take what you want.

What do you want?

Wow. You're really meticulous with each of these.

That's why that's, you know,

that's how they come out so good.

I know. You just gotta slap it on.

That's what me and my sister did.

It was like a big boom, boom, bam.

A big boom. A big boom, bam, bam.

Show me.

Okay. You just kind of, you gotta slap it on.

Oh, see where it lands.

Your sister taught you that?

Yeah, she did.

Is she older?

Yes.

I, I can tell.

You can tell?

Yeah.

That she's older. Why?

You don't remember

I guess I haven't,

but I feel like she knows me

because she gave you this peanut butter

and I love peanut butter.

I see, I see, I see.

Yeah. What's, what's her name?

Nadine. She's sick. - Nadine.

Ah, I'm...

Sorry. I've never said that out loud before.

It's kind of...

That's okay. I'm very sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

Is she, I don't really know how to ask this,

but is she gonna be okay?

I don't know.

Her husband's out in the yard chopping wood,

which is what he did when his mother died.

So, I don't know.

Sorry to...

No. Bring me, you know,

I feel a bit silly with the sandwiches.

It's okay. Let's eat 'em.

Let's eat, let's eat. Okay.

Oh my God.

Did you have a good New year?

I was sleepy.

Did you go out?

We stayed home. I sort of hate myself for it,

but I fell asleep before midnight.

I went out, but they didn't even do a countdown.

I just drank some shitty champagne.

I barely drank this entire holiday though.

Hey, you have everything you need.

What?

I was just making sure you have everything you need.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think so.

What are you writing?

Can I see?

No.

Please. - No.

Just a little bit. - It's private.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Do you think I could lay down

here just for a little while?

I'm feeling kind of scared.

Yeah.

Okay.

You know, you can put your arm around me if you want.

I mean, there's some good love songs.

Some of them are like

compositionally written well right,

but I don't know,

they all talk so much about

self-sacrificing and you are my everything,

and I'm nothing without you just.

Well, love can sometimes be self-sacrificing.

Yeah. But...

I, I get what you're saying.

Yeah. I mean, I'm talking about real love.

You feel like none of the stories you ever write

are about love?

The most romantic thing I

think someone could do for me

is feel entirely liberated, entirely abundant.

And like they could survive without me

and then still choose me.

I don't like to romanticize anything.

You're practical.

Or real, whichever way you like to put it.

I admire it. I feel like

I romanticize things a lot in my writing.

You're a songwriter.

Songwriting, songwriting can be real sometimes.

And it's, you know.

Oh yeah, that's what my mom would say too.

Did she write songs?

She was a songwriter. Yeah.

Oh, okay.

This makes sense.

Did you ever interview her?

No. My biggest regret.

Nadine Andrews.

So what we often see

in early stage multiple sclerosis

is inflammation affecting the parts of the body

where nerve damage has already taken a toll.

So I want you to meet with our nutritionist

to establish dietary habits

that will curb the inflammation

and start to address at least the symptoms.

And then that should carve

out a path to rehabilitation.

So you just want me to cut out bread?

We unfortunately don't have a ton of time today

to get into the nuance here,

but I wanna get more blood work back

before we make our final treatment plan.

Thank you, Doctor.

Take care.

f*cking disease.

f*ck, yeah.

Why didn't I go cemetery, it's just like a church.

It was like a church.

Yeah.

With a cemetery and like in the yard.

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Yeah. And it was like a stone path.

The side of that outside church,

and there was like little stone

boxes with stone roof tops.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, and that can come off and,

and you put the box inside with the ashes or bones,

and then, and then, then,

then close the top.

Wow.

Just make sure to put flowers on it.

Right.

That one had many flowers.

I don't want you to worry, all right.

Mom's gonna be okay.

Okay.

Okay. You know that right?

Yeah.

All right, she just isn't feeling too well today.

Yeah.

Right. She's gonna be great.

We're gonna be fine.

We're gonna make mom some tea tonight.

It's gonna be good.

And hey, let's watch that movie you like.

What's that movie you like?

"Paw Patrol".

Oh yeah, "Paw Patrol".

Best movie we own.

Yeah.

That's right.

Did you even eat the food I made?

Would I?

Yeah.

If you made food

Yeah. What was the last thing you made me?

Remind me.

I can't remember.

I made you a very good Turkey sandwich.

Oh, a Turkey sandwich. Oh my god, for lunch.

That one time you?

Yep.

How could I forget?

I'm so sorry.

It was edible

Just wait until I burn pasta.

You would burn pasta I know.

Thank you for doing the dishes.

Could have been a little less rough with them though.

They're fine though.

Yeah, they are.

In two weeks will they be?

Are you sure you're a copywriter?

'Cause that was a weird thing to say.

I'm sorry. I am not one with words

outside of my nine to five.

I'm a good with words actually though.

I don't know if I'd say that.

That's so mean.

I'm sorry.

I'm a f*cking writer.

Why the f*ck did you say that?

I'm so sorry.

I take it back. I take it.

Lena?

What?

I take it back. - Okay.

f*ck.

Really?

Really.

Wow. Wow. I had no idea.

Since I got sick.

Sex has been complicated,

so we're open to dipping our toes in the dating pool.

So you're dating?

No.

Is he dating?

I don't know.

You don't know?

He doesn't say much.

And I try not to ask.

I would have to know.

Have you and Maeve talked about

sleeping with other people?

No.

Why not?

But if she is or was,

I don't think she would tell me.

How come?

I think she knows I know.

How would you know?

She comes home smelling like different soap.

Right.

I think she would sleep

better at night letting it lie.

I lose a sock every time I

come here, how is that possible?

It's just the way socks work.

I'll take some more.

Okay.

Okay. I, I will have those sent over.

Yep. First thing.

Okay.

Okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Whoever is, and the person that is on top

is also invisible.

Invisible Jack.

Invisible.

Could she see me?

Could she see me?

No. Yeah.

What are you, what are you sitting on top of?

It's like, it's like you're floating.

No, we both floating.

Yeah. No idea.

Oh.

Oh gosh.

Goldie. Where's Goldie?

I'm back.

There you are.

See, I was here the whole time you didn't lose me.

I have an idea.

Okay.

Do you wanna do mushrooms with me?

Dave gave me them

before I came up here in case I needed to get inspired

or, you know.

No.

No. Seriously?

I've never done them before.

You've never done shrooms?

No.

Really? - Yeah.

Ever? - No.

Not even like...

I've never done shrews before.

Interesting.

Okay. Well it's perfect opportunity.

They're really fun.

I, they're not like crazy like, I mean, I guess they're,

they're psychedelics, but I...

I don't know. I'm kind of nervous.

There's a lot going on up here.

Yeah. But that's even better.

You just gotta lean into like the happy place

and I'll take care of you. I promise.

Okay.

Yeah. - Okay.

Yeah.

You gotta protect me, okay?

I solemnly swear to take great care of you

and protect you from any and all harm, okay.

Here it's a pretty one.

You're gonna like them.

They're freeing.

Just eat it?

Yeah. Just put the whole thing in your mouth and chew.

Like really chew.

Oh my gosh. It's disgusting.

Yeah. They taste like sh*t.

Oh god. Ooh.

Just don't think about it.

How long does it take to hit?

I had an older brother once,

but his heart had too much electricity

and he died when we were kids.

Wow. That's really sad.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

So sorry.

Now I'm the oldest.

What about your ex?

She was an only child.

No, I mean, do you miss her?

It feels like a past life.

I knew I was someone else at one point,

but I forget the details

until I walk into a room

that has a certain smell or color of paint.

Then I'm pressed against a memory

looking through the cracks to a whole other me.

And then I carry that grief

in the tips of my feet all day.

Wow.

Wow.

We should go outside.

My therapist asked me if I think love

is a complete circuit.

Do you?

I dunno.

I know what it's like to love deeply in my gut,

but I don't know if I know what it's like to be loved.

Is it like a vibration or a wise knowing?

You are like the opposite of a sociopath.

Like a super empath.

The world is too much.

I think we should get married.

What?

So that you can know what it feels like to be loved.

You think you can love me?

Will you marry me?

When?

Right now. Today.

Repeat after me.

In the presence of God, and these here our friends.

In the presence of God,

and these here our friends.

I, Mia Hawthorne,

take thee, Lena Andrews.

I, Mia Hawthorne,

take thee Lena Andrews, to be my wife.

I, Lena Andrews, take thee, Mia Hawthorne to be my wife.

And promise with divine assistance.

And promise with divine assistance.

To be unto thee, a loving and faithful wife.

To be unto thee, a loving and faithful wife.

So long as we both shall live.

So long as we both shall live.

Now give me the ring.

And you, the trees having

been witness to our ceremony

here unto set your branches.

Lift your arms up, and reach back towards the tree.

Do you feel it?

Yes. We are loving you.

If we shadows have offended, think what this

and all is mended,

that you have but slumbered here,

while these visions did appear

and this week and the idol theme,

no more yielding, but a dream.

Gentles do not reprehend.

For if you pardon, we will mend.

And as I am an honest puck.

If we have an earned luck

now to escape the serpent's tongue,

we will make amends here long,

else the puck a liar call.

So goodnight unto you all.

Give me your hands if we be friends

and Robin shall restore amends.

Excuse me

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

It's okay. I startle easily.

I'm a teacher at the Hudson Montessori School.

You were on a tour.

Yes. Remember you, Mr. Jokes.

You are right, Mr. Jokes.

Could I sit?

So how's all that been going for you?

We are still exploring our options.

Understand.

Could I ask you something a little more personal?

Sure.

Well, when you were there,

you were with your husband, right?

Yes. Jack.

Right. Jack.

Why do you ask?

Oh, you seem like a sophisticated person.

Sophisticated?

Yeah.

Hmm.

You don't think you are?

My mother was sophisticated.

What would you rather be?

An object of desire.

It's over with Lena.

Oh God.

I know you'd can say that.

She's gonna be f*cked up.

I have a thought.

What?

I would like to ask you some questions.

Would you let me do that?

Okay. But I might not make the cut.

Can I see? Can I...

Yeah. Here.

This is for your editor.

Mia thinks that this will be very good stuff

and you should use all of it.

Okay. Okay. Wrap.

Okay. All go for it.

Do you prefer living in the

chaos or living in the quiet?

I'm not sure I really know

the difference between the two.

Please elaborate again.

I mean I, so Maeve, she used to tell me

that I needed to quiet the voice in my head.

And it really bothered me.

It was like it was something she needed.

Like it was too much for her.

And it was just really hard for me to explain to her

that it was really hard for me

to just sit with myself.

To be alone.

Yeah.

But I'm starting to see the mercy

and that advice that she gave me.

You know, our relationship didn't last

but, but it carried a message.

And I've started to sit alone

with my thoughts a little more.

You know, just be curious

about the thoughts and feelings that come up.

And it's nice.

It's, it's like a fog is trying to lift and

I really like myself.

I really like myself.

That's good 'cause I like you.

Dinner was good.

Jack gave me the recipe.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's letting me run point on a new project.

Does he know you used to have a crush on him?

No, that was Janet.

Janet. You had a crush on Janet?

Janet had a crush on Jack.

Very cliche.

Just a little work crush.

I have those.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, like who?

Well, there is this very cute girl

that delivers the catering on Thursdays.

And what's her name?

Okay. No clue.

I don't know. It's just some cute smiles.

Longing looks.

Well, I give you permission

to say hello every once in a while.

Appreciate it. I'll work up to it.

I don't, I mean that's pretty big. Pretty famous.

Yeah. But you're kind of famous.

A sensation.

You're kind of famous.

Am I? I dunno.

I know who you are.

That's true. I didn't know who you were.

So I guess that's fame.

Fame.

Yeah. It's weird.

Fame is fame. Fame. Fame.

It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing.

No, but I don't think

I'd ever wanna be like super famous.

No.

You know, like billboard crazy.

I feel like that'd be so hard.

World tour. I think I would not do well.

Yeah, that'd be really hard.

If you could just like never do

your own thing then or anything.

Always being watched.

It would probably be really lonely I think.

Maybe not.

Did you take off the ring?

The ring?

Yeah, the ring.

Do you remember me taking it off?

Oh, I thought, I mean,

you're not wearing it so I thought you...

Yeah. That's weird.

Your side of the bed?

I don't you remember last night if I took it off?

I don't remember. I don't know.

But could you just check?

I just wanna make sure we didn't lose it.

No, there's no way we lost it.

It's probably, maybe I under your pillow or something.

Oh, I def...

Maybe it's downstairs.

I don't dunno.

Did you take it off downstairs?

I don't remember taking it off at all.

But also, I mean, I don't,

wasn't really remembering

things very well, so maybe I did,

but I don't, I don't really know.

It's not far. I mean, it's gotta be here.

It's not in the bed somewhere.

I just need to make sure that we find it,

to be honest.

It's not lost. I'm gonna find it.

It's definitely in the area.

We just really have to find it.

Is it's under the bed?

It's in the room. Like it has to be in the room.

Maybe downstairs.

Yeah. I'll check downstairs.

I check maybe in the kitchen or something.

Yeah. I don't know. But I...

That's really weird.

Shoulda never used it.

What?

I mean, just should have never used it.

No, I'm, I'm gonna find it. It's not lost.

It's not like we left anywhere.

Yeah, I know.

But we just should have never used it.

I think I just need to focus on work today.

Yeah. Okay.

Can't believe I lost the ring.

You, I f*cking lost the ring.

Look, I don't wanna ruin yesterday.

Yesterday?

Yeah.

We tripped.

And it meant something to me.

Yeah. Well, I guess that's just marriage babe.

Love and wreckage.

Guess I didn't know I was

just another one of your muses.

My muse. You got a story?

Isn't that what you wanted?

You know what I mean?

Oh, I guess I just f*cking don't.

Okay. I really should go home.

You can do whatever you want.

I know.

I've missed this.

I don't want it to hurt.

It's okay.

I hate that I hurt you.

I said it's okay.

I want it to hurt.

I am running a path.

You can do this.

Thank you.

Here I've been meaning to bring you these.

You should just keep a pair in case you get locked out.

I don't know.

You don't know if you should or if you can.

I don't. I just, I don't know.

These are not my house keys.

I, I have a temporary rental.

Oh yeah.

Let's not go down that rabbit hole here.

With a friend?

Just a place to keep my stuff while I'm in London.

I should get to Nadine.

Bye

Bye.

I found it.

Thank you.

Yeah, that one's called "Fiction"

if you didn't know.

Do another.

Well, I, I will.

That was the first one so I'll, I'll do a couple more.

Can I have your phone?

Okay. I'm gonna text you some details. Take it easy.

Lena, right?

Yeah. Short for Helena.

The management company is letting me stay

at this place called Moonbeam, near the Berkshires.

Oh, that's awesome.

You should come up.

What?

Like, you should come up for a few days.

I mean, you want an interview, right?

Yeah. Right.

Well, then let's give your editor something wild.

I don't dunno, I don't wanna

Look, it's in the middle of the woods

and I'm kind of a scaredy cat so I could use the company.

Don't leave.

Don't leave. Please.

Why am I staying?

Because, I don't know.

I don't know because I'm, I'm a f*cking mess

and I can't, I can't sleep alone another night

because I just feel like a stranger,

and I, I don't know.

You feel like a whole entire place.

You feel like a planet.

And I just, I finally got some sleep the last few days

because you were here and I felt safe

and I didn't feel like a stranger anymore, you know.

And I, I felt like I was home, you know?

I need that. So just stay and please

and, and, and then come with me on tour to the studio,

hotel after hotel,

and then we can come home together.

I wanna meet your family,

and I want you to remind me

to brush my teeth in the morning.

And I want you to know that I take my,

my special pillowcase with me everywhere,

I want you to, I want you to be here

'cause I, I, I don't know.

I, I loved being married to you

even if it was only for a night.

So just stay.

Okay.

Yeah?

Yeah. Okay.

I am sorry. I'm sorry about the ring.

And in the end, I'm sitting at a picnic table again.

This time the storm has passed,

but the sky is still a blue gray.

The clouds seem bigger than normal.

And suddenly Goldie runs up to the table, arms folded.

He looks right at me.

I almost can't look at him back.

I feel like he wants to feed me or something.

I say I am not hungry.

And I know we both know it's a lie.

He's clearly holding out bread now.

I feel like I want to reach for it, but I don't.

I smile, look him in the eye.

He calms down a bit and runs off.

And then I wake up.

That's a powerful dream.

It's your soul offering you sustenance,

do you think eventually you would take it?

I don't know, I feel like I'm out of time.

This week I want you to try

and contain those images.

See if we can bring them into our next session.

We can use them as a container for this work.

It's really great to give those feelings,

that anxiety an image to bring it out

and to be in dialogue with it.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you

Oh, sh*t. Sorry I, I know we ran over.

That's okay. It's my job to keep track.

You seem different.

What do you mean?

You have a calm to you

or I guess a brightness to your being.

I feel this sort of

fundamental shift in my mind.

I don't know if I can really articulate it.

Try.

I've already run my time.

It's okay.

I'm settling into my body a bit.

It's my only vessel, you know.

It's a wrecked vessel.

Yes.