Novocaine (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Don't let yourself go

As everybody cries

And everybody hurts

Sometimes

And folks, if I've learned

one thing, it's this.

You can't let your

disability hold you back.

You gotta wear it like a badge of honor.

You gotta go out there and

you gotta say, world, this is me.

This is who I am in all my

glory and I'm here to win.

Don't let yourself go.

Cause everybody cries.

But sometimes...

Sometimes everything is wrong.

Here at San Diego Trust,

we're a cross-credit union.

We don't have customers or clients.

We have members.

Family members.

And that's... exciting.

Yeah, big time.

And there's nothing more

exciting than Christmas Bonus Day.

Our busiest day of the year.

The day hard-working union

members get to turn their labor...

Tomorrow, we put the trust...

The San Diego Trust.

That's it.

All right, that's it?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good.

Nice.

Powerful.

Thank you, yeah.

Okay.

Good stuff.

Right, back to work.

Back to work.

Right.

I mean, what about the story?

Are you... Are you getting by?

Had to let Terrence go.

But I still open every day.

Not sure what else to do with

myself now that Betty's gone.

Well...

Earl, I'm...

I'm really sorry, but if you can't pay...

we're gonna have to foreclose.

I understand.

Okay.

What I can do...

is I can hold onto this

paperwork until after the holiday.

Now, that should buy you enough

time for Betty's social security...

and retirement to clear probate.

Now, I can't promise that

it'll save the store, but...

that should keep you in your house.

I appreciate that.

Yeah.

Let me walk you out, okay?

I'm so sorry again, Earl.

I mean, I can't even imagine what it's like

to lose someone after 50 years of marriage.

Time don't matter.

Would've hurt just as bad

if I lost her the day we met.

She brought the sunshine in my life.

I know.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Totally.

Hey, Nate.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

Hey, what's up?

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

What?

Oh, no, I'm... Jesus.

Oh, that's fine.

I mean, I can take care of that.

No, no, really, you don't have to.

I'm actually really good

at getting stains out of...

You actually don't have to.

I'm good.

I'll take care of it.

I promise.

Everything's... Do not worry.

I, uh...

I...

I got it.

I just didn't... I'll go.

Sorry.

Oh.

Real smart.

Idiot.

Yeah, come in.

Hey.

Sherry.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Um...

Am I just so very fired?

Listen, I know I've only

worked here for four

months, but I really feel

like I have a lot to contribute.

No, no, no, no.

You're not fired.

You're definitely...

Definitely not fired.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I feel like I at least owe

you, like, a new shirt.

Oh, this shirt?

No.

No, no.

This... This is... This is...

This is the worst shirt I have.

Okay.

Well, maybe I could take you to lunch?

Uh... Yeah.

Uh... No, actually.

Sorry.

I brought mine today.

Are you sure?

So I'm... I'm okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

No pressure.

Okay.

But if you change your mind, let me know.

Uh... Hey.

Hey.

Uh...

You know what?

I'm in.

Okay.

Cool.

Leave in ten?

Yeah.

Sounds good.

Looking forward to it.

Don't say that so loud.

Welcome back, honey.

I see you brought a friend this time.

Yeah.

This is Nate.

Hey there, Nate.

What can I get you?

Oh, you know, just a... Just

a... A milkshake, please?

Vanilla?

Milkshake?

No, you don't want any food?

There's really good sandwiches.

Really good sandwiches?

Uh... Nah.

I'm good.

Okay.

Um... Then I'll have... Oh.

Please tell me that you're

not out of the cherry pie.

It's your lucky day.

Got one.

One left.

Nice.

Yeah.

So...

What's your deal?

Uh...

My deal?

Yeah.

You know, you're

just always, like, I don't

know, in your office, and you

never come out to the happy hours.

Uh... I don't... I don't...

I don't really know.

You know, I'm, um...

I guess I'm just not

really a very social person.

Okay.

Yeah.

So...

Do you have a girlfriend?

No.

No, I don't.

Um... Not... Not right now.

Yeah.

Are you on the apps?

No.

God, no.

Why not?

Really?

No.

You look great.

I could take a profile

picture of you right now.

The reindeer tie would slay.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Oh, thank you very much.

Yeah.

Enjoy.

Holler if you need anything.

Thank you.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh, my God.

This is so good.

Do you want some?

Oh, no.

No.

I'm okay.

I'm fine.

No.

It's... It's... I'm good.

It's so good.

I'm really... I'm

really sure I'm fine.

It's so good.

Totally.

It's... Just do it.

I can't.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

I... I just can't

have, uh, any pie.

What do you mean you can't?

Uh...

Okay.

Um...

I have a genetic disorder.

Oh.

Okay.

Go on.

Oh.

Yeah.

Um...

It's called, uh, CEPA.

Um...

Congenital insensitivity

to pain with anhidrosis.

Um...

It affects my nervous system.

And it, uh...

Basically makes it so I can't feel pain.

Um...

Or hot or cold.

And that's why I can't, uh, have the pie.

Or any solid food.

Really.

Because, um...

Unknowingly, I could bite my tongue off.

Oh.

The coffee earlier.

Yeah.

No.

I couldn't feel that at all.

Uh... Holy sh*t.

Yeah.

You're a superhero.

No.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

I, uh...

I have the power to step

on a nail and... and not

know until my shoe

fills up with, uh... blood.

Right.

Yeah.

Didn't... think about that.

True story, by the way.

We were at the aquarium.

My mom fainted.

Jesus.

Yeah.

My parents, they, um...

They basically spent my entire

childhood at... at the hospital.

And then when they

found out that the average

life expectancy for

my condition was, um...

25...

They sort of... locked me up.

I'm sorry.

No.

Hey, I'm... You know.

I'm, uh...

I'm still kicking.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, I hear all that.

But does that really mean that you can't

have just, like, a little bite of this pie?

No.

I can't.

I mean...

Like I said, I... I...

I could bite my tongue off and... You're

not gonna bite your tongue off, Nate.

This is the best cherry

pie on the West Coast.

Okay?

I swear to God.

Listen.

If anything goes wrong, I'm right here.

Okay.

Okay?

Here?

Here we go.

Yep.

Taking a bite.

Open your mouth.

Okay.

Remember, chew softly.

Yep.

Uh huh.

Let the magic happen.

Uh huh.

God, that is so good.

That is so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I told you.

What?

This is pie?

Yeah.

This is pie?

This is pie.

Pie's good!

Congratulations.

Whoa!

What are you doing later tonight?

Look, she invited me out to this art show.

I'm just not gonna go.

I think I'm just gonna stay here

and we'll play and it'll be fine.

You've been talking

about this girl for months.

You're basically in love with her.

I mean, if I were you,

I'd be all over that sh*t.

Yeah, man, but I'm not like you.

I'm not cool. I don't drive a Harley.

I'm not this hunky guy with a man bun.

Again, it's a short pony.

But, dude, that stuff is not

why I do well with women.

Does it help? Of course it does.

I'm not gonna lie.

But confidence is king.

I feel like I'm gonna mess it up somehow.

What's the worst that can happen?

You wind up alone in your

living room playing video games?

You're already there, my guy.

What do you have to lose?

Nate, you're gonna die.

What? Oh, sh*t, sorry. Um...

Okay.

No, no, no.

That was actually really impressive.

Hey, man, I'm sorry.

My head's not in this right now.

Can I call you back a little later?

Oh, sure, yeah. I'll just go f*ck myself.

Okay, thanks.

My friends call me a loser

Cause I'm still hanging around

I pray for you Boo.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, you came. You're here.

Yeah, no.

No, of course. My, you know, my schedule.

Cleared up and, uh... Cool.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

Yeah, of course.

What do you think?

These are yours?

Mm-hmm.

These are awesome.

Thank you.

Who are they?

Uh, they're from my therapy group.

Some cutters, some suicidal.

Everyone's kind of

recovering in their own way.

Jesus, you run a therapy group, too?

Oh.

No, no, no.

I attended.

Oh.

Oh.

Damn.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no.

Don't, don't.

I did not mean... I apologize.

I, I... You're okay.

It's fine.

Okay.

I'm not ashamed of it.

Okay.

Here.

God.

You have a... Oh, my God.

I sold one.

Yeah.

Why are you so surprised?

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Um, so, where'd you grow up?

Well, I grew up in Tucson.

And Cedar City.

And Sacramento.

And Sacramento.

Hmm.

I was in foster care.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I just kind of bounced

around until I was 12.

And then I got adopted.

And I had, you know, uh, my own

room and a big brother and parents.

And it was all very exciting.

That's amazing.

Do you still see him a lot?

Not really.

No.

Um, it wasn't exactly a loving household.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, I, uh...

Let's see.

I grew up in the mountains.

And I got adopted when I was 18.

And I've been on my own ever since.

Uh, man, that is tough.

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

You know, if you, uh,

don't have anybody you

care about, it's harder

to get hurt, right?

Novocaine?

Holy sh*t.

It is you.

I...

This is f*cking wild.

I thought you'd be dead by now.

Yeah.

Well...

I'm... I'm not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, good for you, bro.

Just like old times, huh?

It's f*cking Nova King!

And he's not f*cking dead!

So what was that?

Uh...

Uh, that was, um, some as*h*le

that I went to middle school with.

And what did he call you? Nova King?

Yeah, uh, it was...

It was just some dumb

nickname they gave me.

You know, once the other kids

found out about my condition,

they basically started kicking

my a*s pretty much daily.

Figuring it didn't matter, you know,

cause I couldn't feel any of it, so...

I'm sorry.

But...

I gotta say, as far as nicknames go...

Nova King?

Kinda badass.

No.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

But they didn't think so.

It... it... it was fine.

Sorry.

Um, excuse me for one second.

Just gonna...

Hey.

Yeah?

What does it deal with the alarm?

Um...

I gotta set one of these every three

hours or else my bladder might explode?

... ...

... ... ...

...

... ...

Hey.

How'd you two... get along?

We... really are. He's hilarious!

You know what?

I think you two just need

to let bygones be bygones.

What do you say?

What do you mean?

Shots!

Duh! Come on, my treat.

Yeah, sure, why not?

Okay, great.

Hey, and uh, no hard feelings, right?

Yeah, sure.

Feelings, get it?

So clever.

f*cking die.

There you go.

Thank you.

Here you go.

What the f*ck was that?

What is that?

Leap and Larry's Five

Alarm Ghost Pepper Sauce.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

It's Novocaine's favorite.

Hey, should we, um,

head back to your place?

You can put those on his tab.

Done.

That was amazing.

That was...

You're a very good actor.

Oh, thank you.

Oh my god, that's gonna be k*lling

him thinking that I'm taking you home.

You bet you are.

Wait, what?

Have you

really read all these books?

I don't get out much.

Really?

You've even read the

Mayo Clinic A to Z Health Guide?

When you can, um, entail

yourself without realizing

that, um, you know, first aid

knowledge comes in pretty handy.

Touch.

You're a real renaissance man, Nathan Cain.

I never would have guessed.

...

... ...

... I'm sorry? No.

No, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

You sure? Yeah.

...

... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

...

...

...

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

I was a teenager, and as I got better at it, I

kind of got more sucked into it, and it was, uh, it

was just like, um, this secret world, this, this

other life that, you know, was actually an adventure.

It's a story, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, you could,

you could call it that, yeah.

How does it end?

I don't know. I'm still figuring that out.

So I have a question.

If you can't feel pain, does that also

mean that you can't feel pleasure?

I mean, uh, I think I can.

Can you feel this?

I feel a little bit of pressure.

How about this?

Definitely feel like something gorgeous.

It's not just you, Nate.

Everybody is hiding something.

I think... I think

we're all just...

...looking for someone we can show it to.

...in a maze that you're making me feel

My heart's in overdrive what?

!

...while you're behind

the steering wheel ...

...touching you

touching me ...straight

touching you God,

you touch my soul

oh

just don't tell me

So last night was life-changing.

No, no, no. Way too big.

Uh, last night was really great.

Uh, last night was... amazing.

Ah, gentlemen! Love the outfits!

How can I help you?

We're here to make a withdrawal.

Get down! Get down! Get down!

Get the f*ck down!

Whoa!

Get on the ground!

Get down!

All right, everyone.

Do exactly as we say, and you'll

all live to open up your prisons.

Fools!

On the ground in front of you!

Hands behind your heads!

Mr. Manager!

You're up.

Alarm's tripped!

Three minutes.

Open the vault.

I won't be able to open it in time.

Forty-five.

Open the vault, or I will k*ll you.

No.

I-I won't do it.

You won't do it?

They ain't called my bluff.

Ask! You! Very!

Captain Kringle?

Huh?

Your beard.

Sorry, buddy.

You saw my face.

Assistant Manager!

Two minutes.

One-thirty!

Hey.

Hey, now.

Look at me.

Say the f*cking numbers.

What?

What?

... ... ...

... ...

...

... ...

... ...

... ... ... ... ... wait wait no don't

stop okay stop okay here's the

deal open the vault or

open her brain pan okay

three okay i'm telling

you i'm telling you stop

it i'm telling you oh

one thirty two twenty six

is that so hard

come on come on Holy sh*t.

Merry Christmas, m*therf*cker.

Cops are here early!

Let's go.

Let's move.

Take a bath!

He's got the oven.

Let's move!

Grab a f*cking hostage!

Sorry, sweetheart.

Come on.

Alright, three, two, out!

Okay.

Okay.

Let's take it easy.

Nobody needs to get hurt.

Go.

Sherry.

You're gonna be okay.

Alright?

Keep pressure on it.

32 and 34, back up.

Eight minutes out.

Eight minutes?

Don't.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I will bring it back.

Oh my god.

It's not about the money.

What is important is that we had fun.

f*ck, he's still coming.

What's your f*cking call, genius?

Split up.

Meet back at the shop.

Get on the highway.

No, no, no, no.

I ain't gettin on the highway.

Get on the highway!

I wanna stay there.

He needs our help.

Get away!

Come on.

Which one, Sherry?

What the f*ck?

Go.

Sorry. No, I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

Out of the way!

f*ck off!

Hey, hey, hey, look.

Look, man, I don't want any trouble.

I just want to know where Sherry is.

Hey.

You're not a cop?

Uh, no, but...

Come on, man, just tell me where she is.

I'll let you go.

Okay?

You ever fired a g*n before?

Do you, uh...

even know where the safety is?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hey!

Whoa!

Hey, man, I don't want to fight, okay?

I'm not that guy.

I just want...

You're f*cking dead, you know that?

Tony, please.

Okay, so those are definitely third-degree,

so you're gonna want to

run it under some cool...

I'm not done with you.

Okay, wait, hold on.

Look, I still feel like we

can get what we want here.

Oh, you're strong!

I am so sorry.

Oh, no.

Hey, last chance. Tell me where she is.

Yes, sir.

Eat sh*t.

Okay, okay, uh...

Hey.

Hey, man, you okay?

You had to do it. You had to do it.

Think about it, Sherry.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Sorry.

So, Sherry was kidnapped,

and you k*lled a guy in a kitchen.

Roscoe, just listen to me very carefully.

I don't have a lot of...

Oh, my God, I got shot.

What?

You got shot?

Listen, all right?

I just texted you a photo of a tattoo.

I need you to call

around every parlor in San

Diego and try to find

out who did the art.

What am I, your f*cking secretary?

I'm not doing sh*t.

Roscoe, I wouldn't ask

if I had any other choice.

I mean, we're a team, right?

Yes, a video game team.

We've never even met in person, and now

you're involving me in a real-life m*rder?

Why don't you just call the police?

You know, I technically

stole a cop car, and then

there's the whole thing

about the guy that I k*lled.

Fine, Jesus, I'll get you the

address, but that's it, okay?

Okay, thank you.

Thank you, bye.

Details are still trickling in, but we have

confirmed reports of multiple fatalities.

Citizens are advised to report

any suspicious activity in their area.

But to not engage

with all suspects... sh*t.

Bad week to quit drinking.

Well, quit drinking.

No, no.

I just mean it would be.

Detective.

Yeah, what do you got?

Three officers down.

One in the ICU.

Bank manager, DOA inside.

Three gunmen, two cars.

They took a hostage with them.

And one additional suspect at large.

Additional suspect?

Yeah, the assistant manager.

He stole a cruiser and followed the g*nman.

Witnesses say it's the

same guy who k*lled him.

We'll open the vault.

Could be a double cross.

Do we have units in pursuit?

No, these were the only ones in the area.

Calls went out at

the fifth and sixth, but

they're spread thin

because of the holidays.

Okay.

Thank you, officer.

Thank you.

We need to get a file on

that assistant manager.

Quick.

Today was supposed to be an easy one.

I'm going.

Thanks.

I'm going.

Coming through, news.

He's on my way.

Come on.

Loans for lunch.

Come back later.

You sure you don't want me

to just call you an ambulance?

No, no, no.

I told you there's no time.

All right.

Sweet Jesus.

Here we go.

Earl, you okay?

Me?

Oh, yeah.

Just...

This is not what I expected today.

Hey, if it's any consolation, me neither.

All right.

All right.

Let me find it.

Huh.

Is that it?

Hey!

There we go.

All right.

Put some on this.

Just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

Okay.

Here we go.

Yeah.

Here we go.

See?

Good as new.

Anyway.

Oh.

Whoa.

Um...

Earl, was there...

There's...

There's an EpiPen in there, right?

You mind handing that to me?

What?

You allergic to something?

Uh, thank you.

No.

Uh, epinephrine is just

another form of adrenaline.

It should, uh...

Keep me from passing out.

Oh.

God.

God.

Yeah, that did it.

Okay.

Uh...

Yeah.

All right.

Hey, Earl.

Thank you so much.

Sorry, this was...

A lot.

You go get that girl, Nick.

Oh, hey.

Um...

Almost forgot.

This should, uh...

Come up with a mortgage for a while.

Betty always said you were a good kid.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

All right.

Uh... I'll see you later.

You know, if I...

If I don't, uh, die.

You might want to launder that, by the way.

Uh...

One of our bank robbers?

God, I hoped so.

It would be a shame

if it was the real Santa.

Kitchen staff said a crazy

guy in a tie did all this.

I'm thinking that's our assistant manager.

Oh, boy.

Speaking of... Oh!

Got a bit of a profile on...

Uh...

Nathan Cain.

Single.

Male.

No record.

No affiliations.

Zero traffic tickets.

An online gamer tag of Magic Nate Ball.

Oh, that's good.

Uh... Worked at the San

Diego Trust for six years.

That just doesn't sound

like a Stone Cold k*ller to me.

And yet...

Yeah.

Do you have a cell phone number for him?

I just robbed a bank.

Tell the guy.

You really think he's just

picking up his cell phone?

This is Nate speaking.

Hi, Nate.

Uh, this is Detective Barbara

Mincy of the San Diego Police.

How you doing?

I've... I've been... Better.

Did you catch the others?

Is... Is Sherry

the... The hostage?

Is she safe?

Yeah, well, you know,

we're working on that.

But whatever it is you're doing

isn't making her any better.

So if you could turn yourself and

the cash in right now... Wait, wait, wait.

Sorry.

Um...

Holy sh*t.

You think I'm in on this?

Nope, nope, Nate.

Uh, we're just following

the facts here, okay?

Look, look, look.

Hey, I don't give a sh*t about the money.

I just want to save Sherry.

Mm-hmm.

Well, that's our job to

worry about, not yours.

Yeah, well, I heard

that 75% of hostages

who die are k*lled in

the first three hours.

So unless you're calling me to tell

me you found her, I'm not going to stop.

Sherry...

She, uh... She, uh...

Is she your girlfriend?

Yeah.

I mean, you know, we, we haven't necessarily

put a label on anything yet, but...

Look, look.

Stop it, all right?

I know what you're trying to do.

You don't give a sh*t about us.

No, Nate.

That's not true.

We just want everyone

to get home safe, okay?

I understand you care

about her, but... Do you?

Do you know what it's like to wait

your whole life to meet someone?

Someone who changes everything?

Who finally gives your life meaning?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

My daughter.

And if your daughter

was kidnapped, would

you wait around for

someone else to save her?

Or would you do it yourself?

All right, Nate.

Have it your way.

Got a trace on his cell.

Hey, you good?

Yeah.

Let's move.

...29C-47...

This is total f*cking sh*t.

Look, there's nothing on the

scanner about your brother.

That means he probably lost the tail.

Then why the f*ck ain't he here?

I don't know, okay?

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

I don't know everything.

Maybe he had to switch vehicles.

Maybe he stopped off to get some ice cream.

The point is, your f*cking whining about it

isn't gonna make him show up any faster.

Watch how you're talking to me.

You may be running point on

this, but you're not my f*cking boss.

Hmm.

Andre, I need you to

switch up the vibe right now.

Because you're bombing me out.

Come on!

Ben is gonna be back in 15 minutes

and everything is gonna be fine.

Just keep saying it.

Everything is gonna be fine.

Yeah, f*cking right.

No more silent treatment, huh?

I'm sorry I hit you, okay?

Do you, um...

Do you wanna hit me?

Make it even?

f*ck you.

Wow.

I do not like that tone.

I don't like it.

...

... ...

... ...

...

...

...

... ... ... ... ... ...

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

...

... ... ... ...

...

... Nigel? Who is Nigel?

He was a Nigel too, wasn't he?

Nigel...

Sounds a whole lot like an excuse.

You know how I feel about excuses.

Don't you?

You're so f*cking impossible.

What's done is done.

Okay.

Let's just stay focused on the plan.

And we can hash all this out later

over some pina coladas in Mexico.

Those are disgusting, by the way.

It's in your teeth.

Yeah?

Hello, ma'am.

Is Zeno here?

I just need to talk with him for a second.

Sorry, customers only.

You know what?

That's actually why I'm here.

I'm just looking to get some work done.

Looks like you've already

had some work done today.

Sorry?

Oh!

My appearance.

Well, you should see the other guy.

Okay.

Oh.

I thought that was a real guy for a second.

Wait here.

Thank you.

You.

What's good?

I'm good.

I'm... Everything's good.

Um...

I was just looking to get a tattoo.

f*ck.

What's happening with your hand?

Oh.

Psoriasis.

It's really, really flared up on me today.

Yeah.

All right.

So, where are we working?

Uh, yeah.

Just...

Um...

Right here.

Damn.

I like your tats.

That's good sh*t.

Oh.

Wow.

Thank you so much.

I, uh...

I like yours, too.

Yeah.

So, uh...

What you want?

Well, I have a buddy of mine.

Um...

And he got this awesome tattoo.

I want the exact same one.

I think he said that he got it here.

No sh*t.

Ha.

You know Ben.

Ben.

Yeah.

Ben.

So, um... Did you

guys serve together?

Yeah.

We did.

Serve together.

Honorably.

Hm.

Rock on, brother.

Hey, um...

Speaking of Ben, is he still

working at the same place?

I don't know.

Ben doesn't talk about work.

Classic Ben.

Hates work.

Hates it.

Um...

Funny story about Ben.

Um, you know his last name, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

How would you think it's pronounced?

Seriously, you're gonna...

You're gonna love this.

Just...

Just say his last name.

Why don't you say it?

Ah.

You know, never mind.

It's fine.

It's not that funny.

Cause you know, you tell a

bad joke, you have to explain it.

It's not good.

Yeah.

Give me a sec.

Mmhmm.

Yeah.

Take your time.

You know, I'm thinking that

maybe you don't know Ben.

Yo, what the f*ck is this?

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Okay?

Just put down the knife.

...

Tell me everything you

know about Ben and I'm gone.

Let me show you how it's done.

...

...

Yeah!!!

...

...

... ...

Oh!

Diddle you little sh*t!

...

f*ck you, man!

What the f*ck are you doing?

I can't see!

Okay.

f*ck.

Alright, look.

What's his name?

f*ck you and the horse you rode in on, man.

Okay.

Look.

Look.

Please.

Please don't make me do this.

f*cking eat sh*t, man.

Okay.

Okay.

This is gonna suck, are you sure?

f*ck off.

Okay.

Here we go.

No!

f*ck!

Hey, hey, hey!

Just give me his name!

Just give me his name!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, f*ck!

It's Clark!

It's Clark.

Okay.

Clark.

Ben.

Ben Clark.

There we go.

Is that so hard?

I'm giving you what you

want, then I'll just f*cking go.

Just one second.

One second.

Hey there, Chad.

It's Nate over at San Diego Trust.

Glad I caught you before the holiday.

Yeah.

Listen.

I was hoping you

could run a quick credit

check on a new client

whose file is incomplete.

His name is Ben Clark.

He did serve in the military.

Does that narrow it down?

Yeah.

Yeah.

VA loans.

That's him.

You don't have any

employment on record, do you?

How about a last-name residence?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hold on one second.

Okay.

sh**t.

God.

God.

Okay.

Four.

Two.

North.

Tower.

Late.

All right.

Chad.

Thank you so much, man.

You're the best.

Oh.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

Go Padres.

Something's wrong.

He should definitely be here.

Look.

He's got plenty of time.

We can't leave Toadstark anyway.

I'm gonna check his house.

The house he just left?

Did he really spend all weekend booby-trapping

like he's Wile E. f*cking Coyote?

That house?

You really think he's gonna go back there?

Use your brain, man.

He's my brother!

I'm well aware of that.

Take a half hour.

If he's not there, I'll

come back and we can go.

Andre.

Andre!

Don't be a f*cking idiot!

Find an Xbet and earn a bonus

of up to 100% on your first deposit!

What is that?

.

What the f*ck is that? Why?

Okay, uh...

All right.

Oh, come on, really?

Crossbow. Under the sink. Of course.

All right, whatever. f*ck it.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I found you.

And now I'm gonna make you...

What the f*ck? God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.

God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.

God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God.

God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God

...a snare trap, and

if you don't come right

now and cut me down,

then Sherry's gonna die.

I'm probably gonna die.

Dude, you can't put that sh*t on me.

I'm not getting involved in this.

You already are, okay?

Look, man, I'm sorry, I just...

I don't know who else to call.

Maybe to you, I'm just some

random guy you met on the internet,

but to me, all that time we spent

together, it actually meant something.

You're...

You're my only friend, Roscoe.

And right now...

...I need you.

God damn it.

Okay, look, it says

15 minutes, but I'll

take the Harley and

be there in 10, alright?

Yes!

Yes! Thank you, thank you so much!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hang in there.

Sorry, that wasn't a

pun, I meant it sincerely.

No, no, it was funny.

It was funny, just please hurry, okay?

Yeah, okay, bye.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, 10 minutes.

10 minutes.

I can make it 10 minutes, okay.

Ben?

Oh, no.

You're here, bro.

Hi.

Who the hell are you?

Uh, I'm just a thief.

You know, just came here to, uh...

...thieve.

Where's my brother?

I'm sorry, your what?

Uh, look, man, look, I don't know

anything about anybody's brother, I'm...

...you know, I just

randomly picked this place

and, uh, well,

apparently, I picked wrong.

You know, most people

just have the doorbell with

the camera, but an indoor

snare trap, egg on my face.

You don't look like a thief.

Yeah, well, the best of us rarely do.

So you just picked this

place at random, huh?

Yeah, yeah, just my luck.

Then why the f*ck...

...do you have his address?

...on your f*cking hand?

That's such a good question.

And...

...the answer's really

gonna blow your mind.

Yeah, you can go ahead

and take that, if you need to.

Yeah.

Look, uh...

...Ben's dead.

Just heard it off at the scanner.

Who did it? Cops?

Uh, no.

Apparently, it was just some

random... ...good Samaritan.

Skinny guy in a suit.

Look, um...

...why don't you just get back

here, and we'll figure it all out.

Did he seriously just hang up on me?

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hold on,

hold on, hey, let's just talk about this.

You k*lled my brother!

Look, man, I, uh...

...I did...

...k*ll him.

And look, I know that means

you're gonna k*ll me too, but please...

...please, just do me a favor, okay?

Just...

...just make it quick.

There's no need...

...to draw this out.

I got a better idea.

You know, when I used to do this sh*t...

...back in Special Forces...

...it was always to try

and get some information.

Mm-hmm.

But all that matters now...

...is the pain.

Think about that. You understand pain?

Yeah. I hate it so much.

Oh, oh, oh! No! Stop it!

I mean, oh!

This is bad! God damn it!

Oh, wow!

You sadistic f*ck.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

No. Not the pliers. Please, not the pliers.

I can't even imagine what

you're gonna do with that.

Please.

Oh.

This little piggy...

...went to market.

Yeah!

Wow!

God, I hate how you

spent so much time on this.

This little piggy.

Oh, boy.

This little piggy.

Uh-huh.

Oh!

Oh!

Wee-wee-wee-wee!

f*ck' all the way home!

Oh! Wow, that hurt!

That one hurt the most!

What are you doing?

Terribly!

No!

Please, no!

Whoa, this sucks so bad!

Please don't do that again!

What?

Where the hell are you?

We're leaving in 30 minutes.

Get your a*s back here.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll wrap it up.

Not for my favorite part.

I'm gonna keep your eyes...

...in a jar... ...on my mantle.

Oh, wait, don't do that.

No.

Uh, uh...

Actually, don't do that.

Uh, hey!

Your brother...

...your brother told me something...

...before he died.

He said, uh...

...he said... ...um...

...tell... ...my brother...

...I'm sorry.

...I'm sorry.

...for that...

...thing...

...that happened when we were kids.

He said, tell him...

...tell him that Mom and Dad...

...always loved you the most.

Bullshit.

We never met our dad.

Okay.

I think maybe he meant

it, like, metaphorically.

Wait, no!

Please, please, please, please don't!

Roscoe?

No, it's f*cking Daft Punk.

Of course it's me.

Oh...

...thank God.

I was...

...huh.

What do you mean, huh?

Uh... ...no, I mean, um... ...it's

just, uh... ...didn't you say...

...that you were six foot five... ...and

that you looked like Jason Momoa?

I said I kinda looked like Jason Momoa.

Right.

He's just a very specific little guy.

...looking man.

You know, how about you just

say thank you... ...for saving my life?

You're totally right.

Absolutely.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, that's enough.

Look, go do whatever you gotta do...

...and please stay alive.

I need you to be physically able...

...to explain all this to the cops.

Okay.

I will stay alive.

I promise.

You're gonna have to do better than that.

Oh sh*t.

Cool!

Yeah, get something!

Right!

Oh sh*t!

knows what she's doing We're

really stopping the ball, huh?

...

Get out of here!

...

... ...

God dammit! I'm gonna k*ll you!

I'm gonna f*cking rip

your f*cking head off!

Okay.

Good thinking with the mace.

Jesus. Hell of a way to go.

What'd you set a timer for?

Um, it was for your...

...for your...

...for your ETA or whatever.

I actually should pee though.

Yeah.

Wait, what?

Who the f*ck are these guys anyway?

No idea.

Huge Home Alone fans apparently.

Hey, um...

...thanks again...

...for coming.

Yeah, well...

...one of friends four, right?

Yeah, man.

That being said...

...I will testify against you if need be.

Yeah, no, no, no worries.

I assumed.

Oh, sh*t, it's the cops.

Well, great.

Tell them everything.

Let them go save her.

No, no, no.

They're not gonna listen to me.

They think I'm in on this.

No, if I go out there... ...they're

gonna bring me to the station...

...and by the time I can convince anybody

to go after Sherry... ...she'll be dead.

Wait a minute.

I think I have an idea.

You're Harley.

It's still parked out front, yeah?

Yeah.

Sort of.

What do you mean, sort of?

Nathan Cain!

I need you to come out the

house with your hands up!

Look, come on, don't make this

harder than it has to be, okay?

This whole town's going to sh*t,

because the Chargers and

the Clippers betrayed us.

Really?

Now?

Seriously, broke our hearts.

Our hearts for what?

To be second fiddle to

the Rams and the... Freeze!

Freeze!

Hey!

Freeze!

Hey!

Stop!

Freeze!

Stop!

sh*t!

sh*t!

Who the hell is this guy?

Ha-ha!

You've been deceived, for I am not Nate.

Don't care.

Yeah.

But who you are?

Somebody.

Who's about to go to jail.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!

I can help you, I can help you!

I know where Nate's going.

Yeah, we'll start talking then.

Okay, okay, but can we

have, like, a no-kick-off?

I'm not making policy from this point on.

Where is he?

Where is your jumpsuit?

I'm not doing this, Simon.

Not doing what?

It's already done.

Can't do it.

Oh, f*ck off.

Since when did you grow

a conscience anyway, huh?

I mean, what about all

the other jobs we've done?

We've k*lled people before.

No!

No!

You've k*lled people before, Simon.

You!

No!

Not me!

I'm not like you!

You think all this fake remorse

is gonna save your soul, hm?

It's bullshit.

Simon.

You know it.

Drop the g*n!

Oh, my God.

Hey.

I'm not gonna ask you again.

Okay.

You okay, Sherry?

I'm...

I'm sorry.

Who the f*ck are you?

I'm the guy that k*lled your friends.

So if you don't want

to wind up like them, I

suggest you let her go, and

you get the hell out of here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my f*cking God.

Simon, don't.

You're the guy from the bank, right?

Okay.

This is legitimately the funniest

thing that's ever happened to me.

You've been telling us to try to save...

...Sherry.

Is that right?

Uh...

I hate to break it to you, bud, but...

...she's my f*cking sister.

She played you, man.

Yeah.

You thought that she had feelings for you.

Nate, I mean...

...I'm so sorry, okay?

I never meant for you to...

...look, everything that happened

between us, I meant it, okay?

Oh, what a load of horseshit.

Look, man.

You're pointing the g*n at

the wrong bank robber, dude.

You should be sh**ting her.

So now listen.

Why don't you just get out of here, man?

Okay?

What are you doing?

Get yourself to the urgent care...

...and just forget all about this.

Stop it.

Get over it.

I'll give it to you, bank boy.

You can take a punch.

Let's see how you do.

A little pressure.

Perfect.

Simon, stop it.

It's not f*cking funny. Stop it.

The crushes head.

He started it.

Just go.

Honestly, just go.

Take the money and go.

I'm gonna stay with him.

You're gonna stay with...

You're gonna stay with that guy?

Yeah.

Sherry.

Come on!

I don't even know you anymore.

Fine.

Hmm?

You won't do it.

Yeah?

Sure.

Mm-hmm.

You know what?

You're right.

You don't know me anymore.

Got him.

Moving in.

Get him on your head.

This one's cooked.

Help this guy.

Oh.

Damn, Vespa guy was

right, he's pretty beat up.

Yeah?

Well, good thing we're

here to save his a*s.

You're lucky that you

got such a good friend.

...a little too chatty for me, though.

Backup will be here in five.

We're still stretched thin.

Does that mean I can punch out now?

Wanda's gonna start It's a

Wonderful Life without me.

Yeah, we'll just get the

elves to do your paperwork.

Wouldn't that be amazing if we...

Hey! Show me where you're hurt!

Alright, you're gonna be okay.

You just have to get to a hospital.

I'm gonna take your car and

I'm gonna go after them, okay?

Like hell! I'm not giving you my keys.

Sorry.

Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure...

...you're really gonna sh**t me.

I should, as*h*le.

But I won't. You're taking me with you.

Hey, can someone please

tell me what's going on?

I know where he's going.

Where who's going? Are we going

to a high-speed chase right now?

I don't know how you drive.

I don't know who you are.

And it's not a school bus!

You again!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Stroller!

Jesus!

Where'd you learn to drive like this?

I used to boost cars.

What? I don't anymore!

Oh, I might be dying.

But I'm gonna k*ll you first.

You f*cking loser!

So where is this son of a b*tch going?

He's headed to Pier 7.

Where for?

There's a boat waiting.

It was gonna take us south.

To a taxi!

I can see! Thank you!

You wanna know something funny?

If you'd have just stayed in that bank...

...Sherry would be right

here sitting next to me.

She'd be just fine.

But now...

...Now...

...I'm gonna hunt her a*s down.

I promise you that.

Yeah, well...

...If you do find Sherry...

...I want you to tell her

something for me, okay?

Oh, God.

You are one sorry son of a b*tch.

You know that?

Yeah, I know, right?

It's kind of my thing.

Listen... ...I want

you to tell her...

...that even though we didn't

spend a lot of time together...

...that I always...

...felt like we...

...could've gone...

What did you feel like?

What was that?

I can't f*cking hear you.

You're mumbling. Speak up!

Sorry. I'll try to be a little more...

...Clear!

I like that you're making

me earn it, bank boy.

We gotta wrap this up.

Let's go!

Let's go.

What?

I can't... ...I can't...

...I'm sorry, I have to go.

Wait, wait.

God, I hope I live to regret this.

Take it.

That m*therf*cker...

...shot my partner.

Don't miss.

You, out.

Okay.

Get her to a hospital.

Sure. Yeah.

God, that's a lot of blood.

At least it's not a

stick shift, am I right?

Sorry. I'm bleeding to death.

Right.

You always did fight, didn't you?

Sherry!

Looks like I finally found a way

to make you feel something, huh?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

sh*t!

I gotta ask you something.

Feel this.

Nate, Nate!

Nate, Nate!

Nate!

Hey, Sherry.

I love you, baby. I love you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey, hey, please, please.

Help! Over here, please!

I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry.

Let me have it right here. I'm not going...

Hey, hey, hey.

There he is. How are you feeling, bud?

What happened?

Well, you've had some major blood loss.

And a heart attack.

And a brain hemorrhage.

And third-degree burns.

And a lot of broken bones.

But you're okay now.

It's a Christmas miracle.

It's Christmas?

It's actually January 11th.

You've been in a medically induced coma.

But still, you're alive!

Wait, Sherry, is she...

Don't worry. Sherry's fine.

She's okay.

Oh, we meet again.

Hey.

Hey, look who's up.

Yep.

You look...

...brave.

I'm glad you're up, because I

just came from the courthouse.

You know, you're looking at

some pretty serious charges here.

Manslaughter, breaking

and entering, grand theft auto.

Yeah, those...

Those sound really bad.

Yeah, they are.

There's enough here to lock

you up until you're twice my age.

Uh-huh.

But you did save a cop's life.

And you also had some pretty

persuasive character witnesses.

Also, you're a white guy

who works for a bank, so...

...the judge took it easy on you.

Six months house arrest,

five years probation.

Get a lawyer to look at that,

but it's a pretty good deal.

Oh.

Almost forgot the best part.

This is from Grace.

My daughter.

Take care, Nate.

Thank you, Detective.

Detective.

You look... Are you

looking at the hand?

Oh, the hand?

Oh, you mean your burnt-up, crisped-up tan?

Yeah, I... yeah.

I mean, it's... it's jarring, for sure.

Is it the worst part?

I just think, like, they shouldn't have

to dress it up all sexy like in fishnets.

It's a skin graft.

Look, I... I would get a glove.

Okay.

Personally, yeah.

Prepare for pain.

This guy must not know

who he's dealing with.

Okay, cast toxic cloud. I'm equipping

the Blackstone armor. I'm going in.

Oh, hey, you're coming on Saturday, right?

It's a big birthday for me.

Yeah, man.

Wait, it's not...

it's not at a biker bar, is it?

f*ck you.

Yeah, man, of course I'm gonna be there.

Oh.

Oh, sh*t.

Dude, just hold it for a couple more

minutes. This guy's almost dead.

No, dude, uh, it's not that. I actually

have to get ready for that dinner.

Wow. You're ditching me to go on a date.

I know, I know. It's

very cute and adorable,

and I will make this up

to you later. Goodbye.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, uh...

I can't believe it's been

a year since our first date.

I am... so happy I tried the bunny.

Me too.

And, hey, you even wore your tie.

Yeah, you noticed. Yeah.

Took the dry cleaners

a while to get the blood

stains out, but, um, you

know, they managed.

They did a good job.

Oh, wait, um... sorry, I almost forgot.

Oh, my God.

Hey, you finally figured out the ending.

It felt kind of weird to

have the knight rescuing the

damsel, so I had them, you

know, kind of saving each other.

It's perfect.

Hey! Button that shirt up!

This ain't no conjugal visit, man.

Oh, sorry.

No, this isn't like a sex thing. This is...

Uh-huh. Okay. Yep. Got it.

And I know that's not

an open flame, I'm saying.

Nope, it's not.

Don't play with me.

I'm not trying to play with you, sir.

Just shh. Is he new?

Uh, no.

He's intense.

Yeah.

He's really intense.

Yeah, they're strict here. It's jail.

Inmate 241, time's up.

That was a tight 15 minutes, huh?

Yeah.

At least we only have to put up

with it for another eight months.

Eh, seven months, 19

days, but who's counting?

Man, don't make me come over there.

You're gonna give me a job, so I'm sorry.

Hey.

He's so intense.

I know, I gotta go.

Okay.

I'll, uh, see you soon, Novocaine.

Okay.

Ready?

Yeah.

You lead, Novocaine.

Okay.

Yeah.

See you.