01x02 - Laut von Leise

[bunniefuu]

Well, you are rather quick.

Wait.

-We've gone too far.

-No.

-Why is this so heavy?

-This, my son,

is a high-end sound system with 800 watt,

downfire subwoofer and class D amplifier.

-Why didn't we take the handcart?

-Save your breath.

-Let's ask.

-No.

Yes, men don't ask, right?

Come on.

See? It wasn't that hard.

VIKTOR

DELIVERS

Hello?

What are you ringing for?

Sorry. We have

a delivery for Mr. Richard Schauer.

Then ring quietly.

The walls are like cardboard, okay?

What's that?

-Sound system.

-A robot vacuum cleaner.

-Because his wife died.

-Because only women vacuum?

What's your problem, you polished potato?

Sorry, we don't

want to cause any problems.

-We'll be gone soon.

-His wife died.

-Normal to not want to do housework then.

-Sure.

-You have to knock.

-Knock?

Thank you and have a good day.

Yes, up yours, too.

Rule number one:

Don't argue with neighbors,

it wastes time.

Wasn't that rule about

selling an extended warranty?

That's the other rule number one.

-Why are you knocking?

-Kudinski, Viktor Bringt's here.

-We have your delivery.

-Order number?

That would be the 2493821.

2,7 is correct.

-2,7 is correct.

-Enter.

Yes. It works.

-Good.

-This way.

Careful, the door.

-Look where you're going.

-This way.

Yes, will do. This way.

Just put it down here.

-Careful.

-Yes, please.

The cleaning lady comes at 1400.

-Before Christ or after?

-That's your time window.

At your command.

Please.

So Lift it out carefully.

Carefully, Michael.

-Careful.

-f*ck.

I told you, no swearing with a customer.

sh*t!

That's Hektor.

-Does he bite?

-What do you think? Of course.

But not now. His feeding time was at 0900.

-It's a crocodile.

-It's a caiman.

Graceful. Proud.

It was a farewell gift from my troops.

-He won't bite.

-Does he know that?

Unless you provoke him.

A dream of an animal.

The tail is 1.5 times larger

than the head.

Every man's dream, right?

-Is it even allowed?

-What?

You have to speak louder.

Grenade expl*si*n. Afghanistan.

We were five men.

The mission: top secret, until today.

If you knew everything I know

You would cry like little girls.

-Because only girls cry, or what?

-Excuse me?

-Great sound system.

-What?

-Great sound system!

-Don't shout like that.

The walls are not soundproof.

-That fits perfectly.

-What?

Nothing.

-Reminds me of my dad, your grandpa.

-Really?

When he said "Good morning,"

it sounded like a command.

My grandpa was a soldier?

Not quite. Tax office.

Are there any problems?

-None.

-Continue.

So

"When the knob is pressed,

the power is awakened

"and green illuminations

are ignited around the world.

"And to grow the volume,

"let the knob sink

to play the detonator block."

-Hey, that's cool.

-Put that down.

-Did you read the instruction manual?

-No. We are professionals.

-It's also more of a poem.

-Poems make you sentimental.

Sentimental people make mistakes.

-I don't read poetry.

-Reading endangers stupidity.

-Only the strongest prevail.

-Well.

In the long term the one

who adapts best will actually prevail.

-What?

-Nothing.

If you don't move with the times,

you get removed.

Men don't talk all the time.

"When the knob is pressed,

the power is awakened"

I said to put that down.

-Who thinks of that stuff!

-Put that nonsense down.

-So, let's give the baby a try, right?

-Finally.

So, this is my record.

Is it marching music?

Nothing.

I don't understand

-I can't hear anything!

-You don't say.

-I can't hear anything from the system.

-It's all connected correctly.

I won't let you go until

everything here works.

-Then let's start with the hearing aid.

-What?

Nothing. Nothing.

-We have to unscrew this thing.

-No, no.

-It's the cables.

-I'll get my equipment and take over.

-No, hang on.

-And then I dismantle the system.

Wait a minute, if anyone dismantles

anything, then it's me with my equipment.

I've unscrewed

broken radios in the desert at night.

With howling wolves

that could have attacked.

Or we just read

the operating instructions?

-No!

-No!

-I get my tools.

-I get my tools.

Doesn't that void the warranty?

-Is the c*ck princess right?

-c*ck princess?

Ever thought about an extended warranty?

Can I unscrew the thing then?

-No.

-Then no.

Excuse me, c*ck princess?

How about a little more respect?

-Excuse me?

-Yes, exactly.

-Respect starts with listening.

-Respect?

How is anyone supposed

to have respect for you?

Such chaos here

-Does respect depend on the clothes?

-And the nail polish.

We have given up on those gender roles.

-Like manliness?

-What is "manly"?

I'll throw the thing out the window!

Yes, what?

Men can show feelings too, right?

Congratulations.

You picked the wrong guy,

my friend. I'll tell you that.

Here. He knows

what he wants. That's manly.

It's not about "what."

It's all about "how!"

Real men do their thing.

Even if there are losses.

You wouldn't know

what that means. Sacrificing yourself!

For something

that is bigger than yourself.

Even if you don't understand it. But you

have to understand everything these days.

And it has to make sense. Such nonsense.

As if life always made sense.

The most important things in life

make no sense at all at first.

-That makes sense.

-Yes, nonsense.

-What?

-My son still has a lot to learn.

-He is your son?

-Yes.

Oh.

Why "oh"?

Why are you nodding at his "oh"?

-Well

-What, "well"?

Well Nothing achieved in life yet,

but always talking smartly.

Since you did so many great things.

Nature and the environment destroyed,

wars started.

-Not in this tone, missy!

-Apologize!

-I should do what?

-He grew up with his mother.

-That explains everything.

-Oh, yes?

-You were missing a male role model.

-Sure.

You still think that nothing works

without you real men.

With these weird ego contests

and macho testosterone sh*t.

Do you know what is really manly today?

That us men can be anything.

Those who don't adapt die out. Bang.

Thanks, evolution.

But before I die out,

I'll repair the system.

Hang on. I'll repair the system. Okay?

Arm wrestling?

Winner unscrews.

Deal.

Oh, God.

-Not manly, that's childish.

-Stop, Michael. Give the signal.

-I told you a thousand times

-The signal!

Go.

Hey, cool, you now don't want to

Hello. Fight!

Fight!

-Hold against it. Anticipate victory.

-Anti what?

Anticipate! Manifest! Fight.

Come on. Hold against it.

Come on. Use your breath, okay?

Breathe in. And when

you exhale, bam. Okay?

Breathe in. And when

you exhale, bam. Yes, good.

Pull, pull. Pull, pull.

Well done. Come, come!

Good. Pull, pull. Yes!

Good win

Well, not that that was right, okay.

Of course. Enough now.

What did you do? Now he's angry.

Me? You wanted to arm wrestle,

he can't lose. How is that my fault?

-Losing isn't that bad.

-Yes, it is.

I've lost everything.

Yes

But now

Be a man.

I'm not allowed to anymore.

A grenade explodes near your ear

and you are sent into early retirement.

And now? What do I do now?

Nobody wants me anymore.

They just say, "Look at the old white man.

"He's to blame for it all.

"The economic crisis. His fault.

"All the wars. His fault.

"Broken family and the son not speaking

to him for years. It's all his fault."

And men are only human, too.

Well, men of his generation

have really ruined a lot in the world.

I defended

our fatherland for over 30 years.

I've been all over the world. Even when

we weren't there officially. I was there.

Of course, it wasn't

always easy for my family.

For my wife. God rest her soul.

And for my son.

For whom I

was never actually there for.

Then just call him.

-Who?

-Well, your son.

What? Now?

It's not that easy. He just calls now and

then, they talk about the weather or what?

Doesn't matter.

The main thing is that they talk.

-The son couldn't have called or what.

-Exactly.

Maybe the son doesn't know

that the father wants to talk.

-How should the father know?

-Because he's the father?

Always play the father card, right.

But only if it suits you.

Maybe the father has already tried it

several times and the son didn't want to.

-So it's his turn.

-Exactly.

When did the father try?

I once accepted a collect call

from Hong Kong. Yes. Hong Kong.

For example. And maybe

the father sent an ice cream voucher

for his son's birthday every year,

as an invitation.

The son could have said, "You know,

a voucher. I'll redeem it,

-"I'll visit now."

-What voucher?

-I'm wondering about that, too.

-Every year a card came in the mail.

Which never reached the son.

Never?

The son would have been happy.

Since he thought

that his father never thought about him.

But we only ever had cheesecake, right?

What should I say?

It doesn't matter.

Preferably something nice.

-What's his job?

-He's banker.

Earns a shitload of money.

Constructs inflated stock funds.

-Maybe don't call him after all, okay?

-Yes. I'll call him now.

You really don't have to.

I really think he should call.

He owes that to his son, Michael.

Sascha! Hello. I wanted to ask, if

Your father.

Don't you even know my number?

Yes, a new phone. I understand, yes.

No, nothing happened. I just thought

Yes, I see, inconvenient

Well, I just wanted to

Yes. Sure.

What?

A stock fund?

No, listen, that's

That's not my thing.

No.

No, not really.

No, nothing with weapons either.

But we could

Yes. Yes, sure, yes. Inconvenient now.

Understand. Good.

Yes, then

Yes, sure, yes. I'm happy

He hung up.

That's good, right.

-I can't feel my tongue anymore.

-It's normal. It'll pass soon.

A call like that can't

solve everything right away.

The mission failed.

-I thought a real man doesn't give up.

-I'm not giving up.

Maybe

you could invite him

out for ice cream or something?

-Sugar is the death of self-discipline.

-Maybe some water ice then.

Sugar makes you tired, fat,

and increases the risk of cancer.

Do you think I want to k*ll my son?

-k*lling is a bit dramatic now.

-Well, I mean

too much sugar, especially you should

Well, you know, because of down there.

-What?

-Yes

What you said to Mom.

What did I say to her?

Viagra is addictive.

-So I heard from a friend.

-What? No.

It can be a hard time.

Well, in a figurative sense.

Well, also practical.

I don't need Viagra.

-Me neither.

-Change of subject, please.

-I didn't start it.

-Neither did I.

What did your mother tell you?

Apparently it's not that important.

Colonel, I have a

slightly personal question.

Have you ever faced your own death?

Do you think

northern Iraq was a tea party?

I meant it more figuratively.

So if you suddenly

feel a lump down there.

Testicular cancer?

And then, you can almost

see yourself lying in your own grave.

Did you know that fried testicles

taste like breakfast meat?

But then it was only a cyst.

-Fortunately.

-I see.

And you told his mother

that you have testicular cancer.

Well, I didn't say as such,

but I didn't deny it.

Yes. I had problems back then, Colonel.

I had bills, then the child support

A man is responsible for his family.

-Imagine, you're almost bankrupt!

-Wimps find excuses.

-Heroes find solutions.

-Colonel, I always find a solution.

I'm curious how you want to solve this.

Solve what?

-How we get the system up and running.

-Right.

-It's the cables.

-We have to unscrew them.

Mr. Schauer, I was supposed to clean now.

Hang on.

We have a small scheduling issue here.

Mr. Kudinski and his son have

to get the system up and running.

Exactly.

Or we use the manual.

No!

-Then break it.

-I'm not breaking it.

-I warn you, don't do that.

-I'm a pro.

Hang on.

Quiet!

-What was that?

-800 watts.

It's called heavy metal,

comes from Scandinavia.

-Do you like that?

-It's horrible.

No recognizable melody, totally

monotonous. And one sounds like the other.

But what can I do?

Hektor loves it.

-You've never gotten a postcard from me?

-No.

-Do you think your mother

-No. Mom would never do that.

Besides, Grandpa always got

the mail for the whole house

Crazy.

You don't know, but he never liked me.

You picked up some reading material.

Real men don't read anyway.

"If you want little noise,

press button to half branch,

"and the power is off.

"And you have loud from quiet.

"When silence runs inside, keep track

"and align your mighty stand plug."

-"Mighty stand plug." I have one, too.

-Yes.

That's also important.

Well

That you have a healthy stand plug.

MEANWHILE IN

BERLIN-PRENZLAUER BERG

For the last time

Coffee, now!

Good.

Then I'll grab some tea and lie down

And then I'll destroy everything, damn it!