01x05 - My Pet

[bunniefuu]

Touch me. Please.

Please.

[clicks tongue] How dare you?

I'm so f*cking hard.

[elevator bell dings]

You don't get off this elevator

until you have calmed down.

[breathes heavily]

[breathing heavily]

[Molly breathing heavily]

Please.

Please.

- You wanna see it?

- Yes.

Yes.

[moans]

Closer?

Yes.

[exhales sharply]

[both breathing heavily]

- Kiss my thigh.

- [moans]

[moans]

[moans]

Touch yourself until you come.

[Neighbor Guy moaning]

[vibrator buzzing]

[moaning]

[moans]

[moaning]

[vibrator clicks off]

- [grunts]

- [sighs]

[Molly] Oh, sh*t. f*ck.

Get it together, Molly.

[panting]

Is the chemo port at

least f*cking covered?

I touched your

thigh with my face.

Is that okay?

- Yeah, that's okay.

- [chuckles]

I mean, these past few months

have been weird, you know?

I mean, it's been great.

Um, but I've never done anything like

this before and, you know, I love it

but I feel bad that I'm

not making you come.

Are you getting

anything out of it?

Yeah.

The way you look at me when I

give you exactly what you want.

You look at me like

you want me so much.

Uh, can I just say that

your eyes are mesmerizing?

And I know that sucks to say out

loud. I'm sorry, but they are.

[inhales deeply] Um, are you

really not gonna eat these cookies?

Because, if you don't,

I will eat all of them.

And, look, I know, you know, that

you do this with other people.

Um

A couple days ago, I heard

a guy barking like a dog.

Oh, yeah. I just started seeing

him. He likes to be a human dog.

Well, he's very good at it.

Very loud and realistic.

So

[sighs] All right. I'm gonna do

something that neither of us want, um,

which is talk about my feelings.

I, um

I was with somebody

for years. And

I'm just gonna

dive in. [chuckles]

Um, she cheated on me.

Um, and then we decided to

open up the relationship.

But that just gave us an excuse

to be horrible to each other.

Plus, this guy named

Pierre entered the picture,

and we had very bad

threesomes with him.

And I wound up with,

um, sores on my taint

from an STD that doctors

thought was extinct.

She gave you a

a prehistoric STD?

Yeah. I mean, she was a wonderful

woman. And I wish her well.

You know, I just

I've been very lonely.

I don't mean alone, but I've

been very lonely in my life,

and, um, doing this with

you has made me feel

not lonely.

And, look, I know I don't know you at

all, and I have a lot of questions.

I mean, the first time that you

kicked me, I had to call an ambulance,

and then you were gone

for a very long time.

And when you came back, you

were walking with a cane.

I mean, did kicking me in my rock-hard

d*ck permanently cr*pple you?

I wanna believe

that's true, but

Are you okay?

[Molly] Just tell him.

I don't wanna talk about it.

[sighs]

[alarm chiming]

[groans]

[Noah groans]

[softly] Sorry. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I have to take her to chemo.

[exhales heavily]

[groans]

I have to get the tooth removed.

- What?

- [groans]

[Molly] She's [sighs]

Just give me a second.

[Molly] It's just

It's like a magic trick.

[Sonya] Oh, my God. Okay.

I have to get a tooth removed. So I

can't take Molly to her next chemo.

[Sonya] Okay, we don't

recommend that you go alone.

Because of the exhaustion

and the chemo brain.

You know, you forget how to speak English.

Is there anyone else that can take you?

[Molly] You gotta do it.

Do it for Nikki. Do

it for Nikki's mouth.

Uh, my mom.

[Sonya] Great. Is

she able to come?

Yeah. I mean, I think so.

Oh, Jesus.

I-I just have to tell

her my cancer is back.

She didn't even tell her

that she has cancer again.

It's all good. I

have some literature

- on how to tell loved ones.

- Great.

And it's okay to say directly

what you need from her.

Like, I like to hold

some space for silence.

- Hold some space for silence? Very cool.

- [Nikki] Yeah.

You're gonna do that?

Think that's gonna work?

Wait, what's your

relationship like?

It's had its ups and downs.

The biggest down was

that her boyfriend

made me give him a blow

job when I was seven, so

Big down.

Okay.

- Wait, this is funny.

- [Nikki] Uh

His name was Mark Wallace,

and when I went back

to school in the fall,

my second grade teacher's

name was Wallace Mark.

I sh*t you not.

[Molly, Nikki chuckle]

Sorry. I just gotta

laugh. [chuckles]

You were seven years old?

Yeah. I mean, I told my mom.

And she just fell apart, and

she did go to rehab a few times.

I had to keep convincing her

that it wasn't her fault.

I got tired of doing it after 30 years, so

now sometimes we don't talk for a while.

- I'm just gonna cancel my appointment.

- Wait. No, no. It's fine.

Okay, I'm in a good place,

and she lives in Vermont

with a goat farmer,

so, you know, like, let's

just rip that Band-Aid.

- Now?

- [groans]

- Wait, wait. You're doing it right now?

- [line ringing]

[sighs]

- Mom?

- [chicken squawks on phone]

[Gail] Hang on,

I'm in the coop collecting

eggs, and I gotta move the owl.

I've got a-a real

hawk problem. I

Mom, my cancer is back.

What?

It's stage four.

It's, uh

It's in my bones.

It's incurable, so

[chickens clucking,

squawking on phone]

I'm dying.

I'll come there right now. Where

are you right now? I'm coming.

Okay, guys, just shut up!

Gonzo, Jill, Toto!

Senator Peanut, stop it.

I'm holding space for silence.

I'm trying to talk

to my daughter.

[barking]

[panting]

I've got a good boy treat.

Stay!

- Oh! Down!

- [grumbling]

Stay.

- [grunting]

- Stay.

- Go get it!

- [barks]

I've never had someone

check me for ticks before.

How did you think of that?

Mmm. It just came

to me in the moment.

You're incredible.

- I felt so taken care of.

- Aw.

Is there anything else

you wanna try next time?

No judgment.

Uh, actually, there is something

I've always wanted to do.

But I've never said

it out loud before.

Um

Hey.

I wasted so much time

worrying if I was normal

or if I was turned

on by normal things.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Okay. I, um

All right, here.

Uh

I wanna be peed on.

Yeah, just let me

think about it.

[chuckles]

["Playin' the Fool"

playing on radio]

Hi, Gail.

[dog barks]

- Mom, is that a dog in your car?

- I'm fostering him.

Can he stay in your apartment

while we go to the hospital?

- No. Molly's immunocompromised.

- No, I mean Yeah. It's okay. It's fine.

Can you get his bed, his

bag and Oh, his leg.

- Is this the bag with everything?

- Yeah.

Um, her keys are in here in

case she can't open the lock.

Sometimes she loses

feeling in her fingers.

- Yeah, yeah. I'm her mother.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Here, take the dog.

- Oh, um

- Don't forget to walk him.

- She brought a dog.

- I'll have my phone on me the whole time.

I have four foster dogs now.

[Molly] The dogs, yeah.

We're back to the dogs.

Toto. Senator Peanut.

She wouldn't let me get

a pet when I was a kid.

[Gail] Gonzo.

We did cat-sit for

her drug dealer.

- Sweet little Jill.

- I liked that cat.

Oh, they need so much help.

One of 'em doesn't have a

rectum. That can get complicated.

[people laughing on phone]

- What are you watching?

- [people shouting on phone]

It's called Drunk Girl

Falls off of Llama.

[screaming on phone]

- How are you feeling?

- [video ends]

Yeah, great.

Yeah.

No, I-I feel good when

I'm heading into chemo.

It's just the two days after chemo

that I feel like I wanna die,

but that's convenient, 'cause

that's what's happening.

I don't care what they say.

You're gonna beat this.

Should you be eating that?

[Molly] You once sent me to school

with just a hot dog bun for lunch.

I read a great article about

raw cloves of garlic and cancer.

Raw garlic cures

stage four cancer?

Why did you wait ten

months to tell me?

I haven't told anyone.

Mentally, are you okay?

I called Steve.

What?

I wanted to know what

happened and if you were okay.

I told you I was okay.

I don't know why you had

to hear that from Steve.

He said you were on some

kind of a sex quest.

- A sex quest?

- [shushes]

- [Gail] Ta-da.

- [Molly gasps]

[Gail] You were so

cute. You're still cute.

[Molly] Oh, man.

[Gail chuckles]

Oh, look at you and Dad.

You guys look so in love.

I was.

That's just the way his face looked when

he knew he had cocaine in his pocket.

Oh, I love this one.

[Molly scoffs]

Oh, my God.

Uh

That was

He He took that.

That was the

After the recital.

No, he didn't. I

don't remember that.

I would never have put this

in here if I'd thought

Okay, well

Okay, fine, let's

just take it out.

[Molly sighs]

Is that why you're

doing what you're doing?

Having sex with strangers,

because of what happened?

Oh, this is my fault.

- I'm just trying to figure out who I am.

- This is all my fault.

Are you ever gonna forgive me?

[person] Am I interrupting?

Hi.

- [Gail] Sheila. You came.

- Hi. Hi.

- Sorry, what is

- [Gail] Oh.

- [Sheila] Hi.

- Um

What are you Why? What?

I started a meal train with your

cousins who live in the city.

You mean you told

You told You told them?

Of course. I told the whole family

so you didn't have to worry about it.

- Do you like chilaquiles?

- No, no, no.

I'm sorry. I can't have that.

The The pepper hurts my mouth.

- Oh. Okay.

- I don't want this. Like, whatever this

[groans, stammers]

[groans] Chemo brain. What is this

called, this thing you organized?

Toot-toot. Meal train's here.

I brought bagels. Hi, Gail.

Hi, Steve.

Hi. Hey, Molly.

[muffled] Hi, Steve.

[Nikki chuckling] [Noah] All

right. Try and get some rest.

Here, let me take off

your shoes, okay, baby?

[Nikki] Mmm.

You're so nice.

What's wrong with you?

Why are you still with me?

Oh, you're so hot!

- He is a sexy person.

- Baby, baby, let's go to bed, okay?

- Yeah. Whee!

- One, two, three. There you go.

- Nice. Okay. Lie back.

- Yeah. The wind in my sails.

- You have to sit up, he said, okay?

- Mmm.

Little bit.

- Oh, this is so nice.

- There it is. The queen.

- Where are Yeah.

- Hey.

- [phone dings]

- Is that my phone? Is it Molly?

Can you make sure if it's Molly?

[sighs]

[Nikki] I can do

it. Give it to me.

Uh, no, it's not Molly. Let's just

get some sleep, okay? [kisses]

Thank you. Thank you.

You have a beautiful spirit.

- [Sheila] Get in there.

- [Steve] All right.

- It's all good. Thank you.

- [chuckles]

[Steve] It's just

I didn't eat lunch.

Wow. This is a trip

being back here, huh?

We spent a lot of time

in this room together.

- [Gail] We sure did.

- The first time around.

She was so strong. So

brave. She fought so hard.

Uh, you're gonna eat your scallion

cream cheese. I got a whole tub of it.

- Just for you.

- [Gail] Oh, my goodness. Thank you.

- You were so good to her. To all of us.

- [Steve] Aw.

- Oh. Thanks.

- You really were.

Yeah. Dig around in there. There's

some other little treats in there.

When did you guys

actually break up?

Technically, we're

still married.

Because, of course, I wanted

to keep her on my insurance.

I mean, I don't

wanna abandon her.

But, you know, this has

been good for me too.

- I started seeing somebody.

- Did you? Wow.

Yeah. It's casual.

But, um, she's actually here.

I wasn't sure if it would

be weird to bring her in.

- [Gail] Bring her in.

- I wanna meet her.

- Really?

- [Sheila, Gail] Yeah.

Molly, do you wanna meet

the woman that I'm seeing?

- [chuckling]

- What? Molly?

'Cause I really

Stop. I really want her to

meet you. It's important to me.

You're an inspiration.

Steve said you're beautiful,

but you're, like, radiant.

Maybe it's the radiation.

I don't know what's

going on here,

but you're only allowed

two to three visitors.

So, who's this?

Hi, Pet.

[Steve] Um

I'm also seeing someone.

Okay.

- [Steve] Oh, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [barking]

- [sniffing] Mmm.

- [Steve] Oh, God. Oh.

- [Puppy grunting]

- [Steve] Oh, oh. Oh.

There's my good boy. [chuckles]

[grunting]

Okay. I actually need to get back to Rudy.

I'm pretty sure he's done playing tennis.

Ooh. He probably is. Mom, don't

you wanna go say hi to Rudy?

- [grunting continues]

- I guess.

Just call me whenever you're done

doing whatever this is you're doing.

Okay. Yeah. It's really

good seeing you, Molly.

I think we're also gonna head

- Hey. Get away from her. Hey!

- Don't touch me.

Down, down. Come here. Don't

let those mean people scare you.

- [whimpering]

- [shushes] It's okay.

[whimpering continues]

Yeah, it's okay. [shushes]

[Puppy quiets]

[panting]

I think I'm ready.

[grunting]

You all set?

Yes, please.

[Molly grunts]

[both moaning]

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Oh! Oh, God.

- Oh, yes.

- Oh. [chuckles]

- [Puppy] f*ck.

- [Molly] Whoo! [chuckles]

[Puppy imitates dog howling]

- [Gail gasps]

- [Molly screams]

- Oh, my God! Mom!

- [Puppy] What?

Is that what you

People like that?

Yes, people like that.

You like that?

[stammers]

I don't know what I like,

Mom. I'm-I'm trying things.

Well, you better

clean your bathtub.

Oh. I just came to get my dog.

Thank you for tonight.

It was so special.

Oh. [chuckles]

- And I didn't know that you had cancer

- I'm sorry.

[Puppy] It's okay. It's fine.

Thank you, Pet.

Really?

Do you have any idea

what's in her pee?

She just had a chemo infusion. So

you've got chemo all over you now.

Is that bad for me?

- I don't know.

- I hope you didn't get it in your mouth.

- Oh, God.

- I'll google it.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- I'll google it.

Okay. Oh, God.

- I'll google it.

- Did you Did you swallow?

- It's closing My throat is closing up.

- [Molly] Okay.

[Puppy chokes] My

throat is closing up.

- My throat is closing up.

- Well, take that stupid collar off.

- Can you get the key? Unlock it.

- sh*t. I don't know The key.

- Where's the key?

- Over there.

- [dog whining, barking]

- [Puppy] Yeah, I

- Uh Key. Key. [grunts] Okay. I got it.

- [Puppy] It's itchy.

- Can you do it?

- I don't have thumbs in my suit.

Okay. I can't feel my

fingertips after chemo.

- Oh, God.

- Mom?

- Can you help?

- I'm not touching him!

- I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

- Okay.

Don't drink my daughter's pee if

you can't handle it, you freak.

- [Nikki grunts]

- [Noah chuckles]

[Nikki sighs]

Yeah.

- [grunts]

- Yeah.

Thank you.

For what?

Just letting me take care

of you today. [sighs]

Um

Did you give me back my phone?

I can't find it.

I just

- I don't see it.

- Uh

No. I have it.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Thanks, babe.

Why is it off?

[phone dinging]

[gasps]

I just wanted you to

have one day off, Nikki.

[dinging continues]

- What?

- [dinging ends]

Oh, my God. Noah, f*ck you.

I don't get a day off.

- I don't want a day off.

- You're not sleeping.

You're on unemployment.

You don't see your friends.

- You never see me.

- f*ck you. f*ck you.

Oh, my God. Don't stand there

and act like you're a good guy.

Did you think what would happen

if she had had an emergency?

Her mom was there.

I am her family. She

is my family. Not you.

Do you wanna know the truth?

All I want to do

is be with Molly.

I don't really

care if I see you.

[sighs]

You're tired. And you're high.

No, I'm not. This

is I mean it.

The world without Molly in it

doesn't make sense. It's stupid.

You're telling me about your

day, and it's so stupid.

I'm watching my best friend die,

and you're telling me about how long

you had to wait for the f*cking train?

I don't like being

around you anymore.

[clicks tongue] Well, I don't like

being around you anymore either.

And that sucks 'cause you're my

favorite person in the whole world.

[scoffs]

[Noah] It's been

really hard on us.

It's just been

really hard, Nikki.

[cries, sniffles]

Am I drooling? Oh, God.

[cries] Am I drooling or am I crying?

What's happening on my face? [sniffles]

You're droo I-It's both.

- [Nikki cries]

- [pounding on door]

[Puppy shouting in distance]

- [Neighbor Guy] Hey.

- Hey. How's it going?

- All right.

- [Puppy in distance] Help!

- Help me! Please! Help!

- [Molly] Question.

Do you have, like,

really big scissors?

[Puppy in distance] Can someone

help me? Come on, please!

Who is that?

Oh, no one.

It's just my neighbor. He's gonna

cut off the collar, then go.

- I got it.

- Oh, thank God.

Okay, I gotta go to urgent care.

No. I really don't think you do.

Uh, thank you so much.

I-I think we're good now.

- You should stay. Have a cup of coffee.

- Mom.

Hey, maybe we can get

together next week

- if I don't die. I don't know.

- Why would he die?

Because Molly peed on him

right after she had chemo.

Chemo?

Like, chemo for cancer?

Yeah.

Stage four.

Out. Out.

[door opens]

- [sighs]

- [door closes]

How dare you?

What?

How dare you tell him

anything about me? [sighs]

What is the big deal

about telling people?

Why does everything

have to be a secret?

I'm helping you.

No, it's not helping

me. It makes me feel

like I'm

f*ck. I forgot the word

I was trying to say.

f*cking chemo brain.

What word is this?

Weird. [sighs]

Oh, rag doll.

Little scary rag doll girl?

Broken. It makes me

feel like I'm broken.

Hey, and I don't I

don't want you here, okay?

Why are you doing this to me?

I'm not doing anything

to you. I am trying to

f*ck my brain.

Glue.

[stammers]

Weave a basket?

Heal. I'm trying to heal.

I want you to heal.

That's why I'm helping you.

No, you don't help me. I-I

Maybe I let you think that you help me

because that's what I've always done.

[crying] But I have to be

the one to protect you.

I'm the one who has to make sure you don't

take drugs and try and k*ll yourself.

That was a very

hard moment for me.

It was a hard moment for me.

I'm so sick of your guilt.

Like, every time you look

at me, you feel guilty.

[Gail] I failed you.

I'm the one who left

you alone with that man.

While I was passed out down the hall

from whatever he put in my drink.

I'm the one who

let him ruin you.

Stop it. I'm not ruined.

Okay? I don't blame you.

- You do blame me. You do.

- No. No. It's my fault too.

I saw him put something

in your drink.

[stammers]

I saw him.

And I didn't say anything.

[breathes deeply]

God.

You didn't know.

You didn't know.

[Molly] He smiled at

me when he did it.

I liked that I had something

you didn't know about.

I liked that he

chose me over you.

So it's not you, okay?

Well, it wasn't you.

Is that what you think?

Honey.

Honey, it wasn't you.

Well, maybe [stammers]

we're not good for each other.

Maybe there's a way we could just

love each other but be apart.

Just

Just, please.

I don't even care if

you don't mean it.

Just tell me you forgive

me, okay? [whimpers]

Forgive yourself.

[sighs] Yeah.

Yeah.

What's his name?

Oh.

Ricky Mustache.

You have a meeting

you can go to?

Yeah.

Okay.

[sighs]

[sighs]

I have stage four

breast cancer. [sighs]

And when I got hurt and you

had to call the ambulance,

um

it was because the cancer that's in

my hip caused the bone to fracture.

Um,

I left that part out.

I, uh [chuckles]

It doesn't have to be awkward.

Okay.

Let's just call it.

I had fun.

No.

[chuckles]

What? Uh

What? So [stammers,

chuckles] What's this gonna be?

We're gonna have some

tragic love story,

and we walk through a park in the autumn,

and I get a leaf caught in my hair.

And you're like, "Whoa, you

you have a leaf in your hair."

And then I just f*cking die.

No.

No leaves in your hair.

Just

keep kicking me in the d*ck.

Yeah, I could do that.

[Nikki grunts]

- Hey.

- [sniffles]

I left Noah. And my mouth

hurts so bad. [cries]

Come here. Come here. Come here.

- [sniffles]

- Oh.