01x01 - Pot O'Gold

[bunniefuu]

[♪ Norman Greenbaum:
"Spirit in The Sky"]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

[laughter on TV]

♪ When I die and
they lay me to rest ♪

♪ Gonna go to the
place that's the best ♪

♪ When I lay me down to die ♪

♪ Goin' up to the
spirit in the sky ♪

[indistinct chatter and
laughter continue on TV]

Bail enforcement.

Jeb Tucker, come out
with your hands up.

[clattering]

Nowhere to run, Jeb.

Don't make me wrestle you
out of this flea trap.

- [man] f*ck off!
- [clattering]

Fine. Have it your way.

♪ Goin' up to the
spirit in the sky ♪

♪ Spirit in the sky ♪

♪ That's where I'm
gonna go when I die ♪

♪ When I die ♪

- ♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪
- [buzzing]

♪ I'm gonna go to the
place that's the best ♪♪

[buzzing continues]

[man] What the f*ck?!

Oh, g*dd*mn it,
they're stinging me!

[shouting indistinctly]

[groaning]

Get the f*ck off me!

[shouting indistinctly]

The f*ck?! g*dd*mn it!

[groans]

Now, I warned you, Jeb.

[grunts, spits]

as*h*le, I ain't Jeb Tucker!

Billy Earle?

What the f*ck are you
doing here? Where's Jeb?

- Well, f*ck. He ain't here, is he?
- Bullshit.

I got a tip he was.

Yeah, dumbass. [laughs]

I know.

[g*nsh*t]

[Billy laughs]

[groaning]

Wait. Just wait.

[gurgling]

[eerie exhalation]

[fly buzzing]

[voices groaning]

[gasps]

[groans]

[panting]

[straining]

[panting]

[eerie music playing]

Hel...!

Let me out!

[guttural grunt]
You son of a b*tch!

[groaning]

m*therf*ckers.

[grunting]

[drywall clattering]

[sighs]

[grunting]

[groans loudly]

[shouts]

[groaning]

Oh, sh*t.

[groans]

[panting]

[gasps]

Oh. What the f*ck?

[doorknob turns]

[Tater] Because the
Earles are hardcore.

If I back out now, they'll
probably slit my throat, too.

Nah, bro, I had to grab a job.

My parents make me pay rent now.

[high-pitched screaming]

[grunting]

[both grunting]

Oh, sh*t. sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

- f*cking sh*t. Oh, sh*t. [whimpers]
- Stop.

- Aah! What do you want?
- Don't move.

What do you want?

[guttural panting]

Give me those smokes.

[guttural grunting]

You the one that cut me?

No. No, no, no, no, no.

But you work for the
Earle brothers, right?

Yeah, they hired me to burn the
place down. For the insurance.

[grunts]

And they stole my truck, too?

[Tater] Yeah.

[Tater sighs]

Oh. What the hell?

[Tater panting]

You were dead, bro.

I swear.

Get up. Get on your feet.

- [whimpers]
- Come on. Now.

- Are you dead now? [groans]
- Turn around. Let's go.

Wait, am I dead?

Are we, like, both dead, man?

Ah, sh*t. No, no, no. No.

Oh, God. Oh, Lord Jesus,
hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be
done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily
bread. Oh, wait. No, no, no.

No, no, no. sh*t. Listen,
I promise you I won't...

- Tell the Earles I'm coming?
- Mm-hmm.

- I know.
- [whimpering]

[contemplative music playing]

[crows cawing]

[banging inside trunk]

Yeah.

[eerie growl]

[♪ The Snowdroppers:
"Devil Child"]

- [engine starts]
- [muffled whimpering]

♪ Well, I walked through water
and I walked through mud ♪

♪ And doctor says it seems to
be a sickness in the blood ♪

♪ You can leave the city ♪

♪ Just don't move
up to the hills ♪

♪ The hunger might not k*ll you,
but the boredom probably will, hey ♪

[tires squeal]

[horn honking]

♪ Rain cloud, devil child,
brought up in a cult ♪

♪ It's a different kind of plan,
but it gets the same result ♪

♪ I don't know how ♪

♪ I don't know when ♪

♪ But it feels like something's reachin'
up behind me again ♪

[train horn blaring]

[tires screech]

♪ Well, I walked through water
and I walked through mud ♪

♪ And doctor says it seems to
be a sickness in the blood... ♪

What the f*ck is happening?

♪ Just don't move
up to the hills ♪

♪ The hunger might not k*ll you,
but the boredom probably will, hey ♪

[tires squealing]

♪ Rain cloud, devil
child, fevers and chills ♪

♪ They can find a cure for cancer,
but the money's in the pills ♪

♪ I don't know how,
I don't know when ♪

♪ But it feels like something's
creepin' up behind me again ♪

[beeping]

[Kitty] That you, Hub?

I'll be over in a few!

Whose car is that? It about
gave me a heart attack.

I'll be right over! g*dd*mn.

[phone ringing]

- [muffled groaning]
- [Kitty] You've reached Halloran Bonds.

Leave us a message.

[beep]

[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.

To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager...

Keep quiet, or I'll
cut your d*ck off.

- [muffled crying]
- ...press star.

At the Pot O' Gold we make
the impossible possible.

Ah, f*cking telemarketers.

Let's chase the
rainbow together.

- [answering machine clicks]
- [Hub sighs]

[sighs]

[grunts]

[grunts, pants]

[slow, eerie music playing]

[grunts]

Mama, I need your help.

I need to find the Earle
brothers right away.

What's he doing here?

Hub, manners.

You kicked my mama
out of your church.

What do you want?

Ron and I were
just discussing...

Your mother and I have
been making amends

and discussing her returning

to the congregation... if...

If my son would just stop detaining
skips during Sunday services.

I'll think about it.

Hub, that is rude.
I am so sorry, Ron.

I'll let myself out.

Kitty, come see me
anytime you like,

and...

I'll be praying for both of you.

- Thank you.
- Bye, now.

What has got into you?

Mama, I need to find the
Earle brothers tonight.

- They stole your truck.
- Why on earth...?

I thought Billy Earle
was still in jail.

Mm-mm. Posted last Monday.

Yeah, but his brothers don't
have that kind of money.

- Who bailed him out?
- Lucky Callahan.

Lucky Callahan?

Now don't get all bent out
of shape about some Masshole

who don't know dipshit
from apple butter.

Lucky will just go away as soon

as you and Maryanne
work things out,

like you always do.

She just wants you to
show up for yourself.

So, the Earles were
just hired hands.

It was Lucky.

Now, what in the
world would Lucky

want with my old truck?

Well, where you off to now?

I'm gonna go see that piece
of sh*t, show up for myself.

Well, good. It's about time.

'Cause I will not
have my grandson

becoming a Red Sox fan

under the tutelage
of some carpetbagger.

Do you hear me?

[intriguing music playing]

- [muffled grunting]
- [banging inside trunk]

Your luck just ran
out, m*therf*cker.

[phone rings]

[Kitty] You've reached
Halloran Bonds.

Leave us a message.

[beep]

[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.

To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager...

[phones vibrating, ringing]

[muffled speaking]

[muffled whimpering]

Oh, stop it.

It's not for you.

- Unless it is.
- [groans]

[eerie music playing]

[country music playing faintly]

- [song ends]
- [crowd cheering]

[Devin] Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the oldest and boldest

country music mecca this
side of the Mississippi,

the one and only
world-famous Boxcar!

[cheering]

Now welcome to the stage,
the pride of Landry

and the Country Queen
of North Georgia,

Miss Maryanne Dice!

[cheering]

[♪ "When Will I Be Loved"]

- Hey, what day is it?
- [Maryanne] ♪ I've been cheated ♪

[man] Wednesday. Revue's
always on Wednesday.

♪ Been mistreated ♪

♪ When will I be loved? ♪

♪ I've been put down ♪

♪ I've been pushed round ♪

♪ When will I be loved? ♪

♪ When I find a new man ♪

♪ That I want for mine ♪

♪ He always breaks
my heart in two ♪

♪ It happens every time ♪

♪ I've been made blue ♪

♪ I've been lied to ♪

♪ When will I be loved? ♪

Oh!

Oh, hey, Hub. How's the hunting?

[line cook] Hey, long
time no see, Hub.

♪ When will I be ♪

♪ Loved? ♪

Hey, shitbird.

[crowd cheering]

Surprised to see me?

You thought I was dead, right?

Well, I guess not.

Why don't we step outside?

[door opens]

Dad.

Hey, y-you hear Mom's
new backup band?

Well, I found 'em on TikTok,
but they're pretty great, right?

Yeah. They sound good.
Nice work, kiddo.

[country music playing faintly]

[Maryanne] Hey, Luck.

There she is.

What a number.

You are a force, babe.
Hey, look who's here.

[Maryanne] Oh.

You working tonight, Hub,
or is that your party vest?

I got a warrant for
your boyfriend here,

but I guess I could
serve it another time.

Mm. You're so full of it.

But I do need to talk
to you about something.

You boys want to get us a Coke?

Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure thing.

Hey.

I want my mama's truck back.

You're too good to
be singing covers, M.

You're a damn sight too good for
that empty ten-gallon hat out there.

When you gonna tell him that nobody
wears cowboy hats in Georgia?

I know, but he loves it.

And it's sweet.

Sweet?

Lucky is not who

- you think he is, Maryanne.
- Which one?

Uh...

He...

he paid some guys to
try and slit my throat.

- Is that right?
- Yeah, look.

Well, you look
pretty okay to me.

I-I just don't want
to see you get hurt.

He-He's dangerous, more
than I even realized.

Hub...

But thank you for
saying I look pretty.

Well, you look...

pretty great
yourself, by the way.

Hub, honey...

...you not being pretty enough

was never the problem.

Now

I need you to sign this for me

so I can take Cade out of state.

For what?

To be my stagehand.

I got an audition in Nashville.

Oh, well, look at you.

Congratulations. Who's it with?

- [door opens]
- [Cade] Dad?

Someone from a Gold
Pot called for you?

- They said it was urgent.
- Yeah, okay.

Thanks, kiddo.
Wh-Where's Mr. Bighat?

Oh, he had to run over to
the Earles' poker night,

but he says good
luck with the show.

[chuckles] I thought he gave up

gambling when he gave up booze.

Just sign the form, Hub.

I'll think about it.

Hey, great work
with the band, kid.

[electricity crackling]

Pastor Ron?

What the hell?

[jarring music playing]

[engine revving]

[electricity crackling]

[brakes squeak]

[engine shuts off]

[country music playing faintly]

[indistinct chatter]

Nah.

But nice try.

So, Lucky hired the Earles,

and the Earles hired you, right?

Mm-hmm.

You ever been to one
of their poker nights?

Mm-hmm.

Ever hear about
Lucky coming to one?

Mm-mm.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

[muffled grunting]

[gasps]

Oh, man, I'm sorry, I
think I pissed myself.

What's your name, kid?

- It's Tater.
- Uh-huh.

Or... well, my real
name's Tommy Dean.

Thomas, I guess,

but nobody calls me that except
for my Aunt June on my mama's side.

You can call me whatever
you want, though.

You related to Eddie Dean?

Yeah, that's my uncle.

No sh*t.

Hey, is he still with that gal
from Kentucky with the big hair?

Oh, nah, she's in jail.

And he went to Cincinnati.

Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah.

For which one of 'em?

Be cool, Tater.

[sighs]

[groaning softly]

Almost there.

- [urinating]
- [whispers] Come on, you son of a b*tch.

Hey, princess.

- Oh, sh*t.
- Lucky's not inside, is he?

But you drove his
car here as bait.

And your brothers are
inside waiting to k*ll me.

You're supposed to be dead.

Nah. My mama raised
me tougher than that.

[whispers] f*ck.

Move. Get going.

[Tiny mutters]

♪ Oh, preacher man ♪

♪ Well, he will free
you from your bondage ♪

♪ And take away the
monsters under your bed ♪

[muffled chatter]

♪ He's got a download
from the good Lord... ♪

[yells] What the f*ck?!

Son of a b*tch! Oh, God!

Oh! Oh, God.

You were dead.

I take it, then, you're the
one that tried to k*ll me.

Yeah, and you f*cked that
up, didn't you, Clyde?

He ain't the one that
got jumped taking a leak!

f*ck you, Bill!

I swear, he was f*cking dead!

Shut up! Hands up!

[Billy] Oh, God.

- How much is Lucky paying you?
- [Tiny] Uh-uh-uh!

Y'all don't say sh*t!
He can't prove nothing!

Ain't no warrants
out on us, bondsman.

So go ahead and
call the cops on us.

[Billy crying] f*ck. f*ck.

You won't.

You ain't no m*rder*r.

Self-defense, hoss.

I'll sleep just fine.

Now, we can talk about you walking
out alive once Lucky gets here.

[panting] Lu-Lucky ain't coming.

Oh, yeah, he is.

Once you text him

that you're letting me go free

unless he pays cash.

Double.

[whispers] sh*t.

- [♪ The Bittersweets: "Rapture"]
- ♪ Restless in the cold ♪

- ♪ Faces frozen in the snow... ♪
- Hillbilly motherf...

What happened to your card game?

- I didn't want to miss your next number.
- Aw.

Yeah, but now I
might have to, babe.

Foodco's saying I-I-I
underpaid the last delivery.

They want me to go to
the bank first thing.

I swear to God, I'm gonna
jam my foot so far up...

Hey, hey, hey. Temper.

- Count it.
- [exhales]

One, two, three,

- four, five.
- [mouths]

There.

And sleep on it.

No big moves while
you're angry, right?

[chuckles softly]

You're my guardian angel.

[song ends]

[cheering, applause]

Oh, I'm up next.

Breathe, okay?

And order me some tots
for after. I'm starving.

[Devin] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
back to the stage Miss Maryanne Dice!

♪ Our faith to carry us... ♪

I still think you're bluffing.

You ain't gonna g*n
us down in cold blood.

Nah, you're right.

I'll probably just
leave you tied up

and light the house on fire.

I can't believe that you guys
brought chips and dip to my m*rder.

[electricity crackling]

Someone's coming.

Whoa. It-it-it ain't Lucky.

It's a...

it's a pastor.

From a church?

No, dumbass, from
a Piggly Wiggly.

Yes, from a church.

Well, praise be. Hey,
what are you doing?

Get rid of him and do it quick.

Get up, get up.

Move.

Down. Don't move.

Don't f*cking move.

[door opens]

- ♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
- [Clyde] Help you with something, Pastor?

♪ A-do-do-do-do-do... ♪

Look, we're all tithed up
here this year, pops, uh,

so why don't you...? Uh, Pastor?

♪ Doodily-doodily-do-do... ♪

Y-You know, you
don't look so good.

[Clyde and Billy screaming]

♪ Ain't got a dime ♪

What the f*ck?

[screaming]

♪ I need a shave
and I need a shine ♪

[Billy] Get me the
f*ck out of here!

♪ I'm all hungover ♪

♪ Got a mouth full of cotton... ♪

- [screams]
- Clyde!

Oh, God! Oh,
f*cking put me down!

Put me down! No! No! [screams]

What the f*ck?!

♪ I figured I'd
make it someday ♪

♪ I had high hopes,
but she sure shot 'em ♪

♪ I guess I've arrived ♪

♪ This must be the bottom ♪

♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪

[Tiny screeching]

♪ A-do-do-do-do-do ♪

♪ A-do-do-do-do-do, do, do ♪

♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do... ♪

[rattling]

What the f*ck is
happening, man?!

[Tiny screeching]

♪ Well, I smoke old butts... ♪

What the f*ck is going on?!

[yelling indistinctly]

You son of a b*tch!

[screaming in distance]

[intense music playing]

[brakes squeaking]

- [brakes hiss]
- [door opens]

[door closes]

- [phone ringing]
- [exhales slowly]

[groans softly]

[Kitty] You've reached Halloran
Bonds. Leave us a message.

- [beep]
- [fanfare playing]

[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.

To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager

and confirm the details
of your new employment,

- press star.
- [opens bottle]

At the Pot O' Gold, we make

- the impossible possible.
- [Kitty] We're in here, boy.

Let's chase the
rainbow together.

Oh, company?

[phone ringing]

[Kitty] She's from Pot O' Gold.

[Hub] Are you sh1tting me?

[Kitty] You've reached
Halloran Bonds.

- Leave us a message.
- Mr. Halloran.

You are a hard man
to get in touch with.

Have a seat.

[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.

- To schedule your...
- [shuts off]

I'm here about your orientation.

Yeah.

I'm not interested.

She knows things, Hub.

About how you...

Died.

And went to Hell.

[mysterious music playing]

Well, you're only standing here
now because we brought you back.

At least

temporarily.

Think of this

like a work release.

And I'm your parole officer.

[Kitty] Which I told
her is just plain silly.

And blasphemous.

And I just won't have that
kind of talk on my property.

Do you think it's
silly, Mr. Halloran?

I'm not the churchgoing type.

But your friend
tonight was, though,

wasn't he?

Look what good that did
him. [chuckles softly]

Anyway, we don't
exactly discriminate.

The last gal doing your
job wasn't even Christian.

What job, lady?

Oh, you're still a bounty
hunter, Mr. Halloran.

But now you hunt demons.

For the Devil.

♪ ♪

[Kitty] Hub.

Did you or did you
not see a demon?

Yeah, I think maybe I did.

[dramatic music playing]

[Midge] Imagine
Hell is a prison,

and sometimes inmates bust out.

[Hub] So my job is

to hunt demons and
send them back.

What do you mean, send 'em back?

♪ ♪

- f*ck me.
- k*ll 'em.

- [gulps]
- You'll see.

But if you fail to process

any demons assigned to you,

- you will be terminated.
- [growls]

Immediately.

So make the most of it.

It's the employees that
can find the silver lining

that have the best experience.

- [growling]
- [muffled screaming]

Anyway, I plan to be busy.

[intense, dramatic
music playing]

[Hub] Something I
got to tell you.

And it's definitely
gonna sound crazy.

- You have cancer, don't you?
- What? No.

♪ ♪

Run!

[Lucky] Hub is a demon-summoning
psycho from Hell.

Lord, you need a holy warrior,

like me.

♪ ♪

[Kitty] Hub is nobody's
idea of perfect.

Anybody can see he has flaws.

- But Hell?
- Exactly.

Thank you.

[Midge] You were condemned
to Hell for what you did.

So you're worried my
ex-husband might not be

the right guy to
prevent Armageddon.

[screams]

- [Hub] If we fail, it's the End Times.
- [demonic growling]

Well, sh*t.

♪ ♪

[quiet, dramatic music playing]

♪ ♪