Babezilla vs the Cyber Skanks: Rise of MechaBabezilla (2024)

[bunniefuu]

(ominous music)

Thoughts again, wired thoughts

System overload, all data lost

No function, let's test the night

It's so lovely to then override

Shed no tears

Shed no tears

Shed no tears, robots don't cry

Shed no tears

Shed no tears

Shed no tears, robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

- Oh, hi.

So nice to see you guys

again. I've got some big news.

So you remember when I saved the world

and defeated the zombie horde?

Devils of death, the walking undead

I'm thinking about death

I'm warning you it's

the end of the world

All I see is a zombie

horde of dead girls

Battle to the death

with the walking undead

Decapitation as we

thinking about death

I'm walking at the end of the world

All I see is a zombie

horde of dead girls

Battle to the death

with the walking undead

Decapitation as we

thinking about death

I'm walking at the end of the world

All I see is a zombie

horde of dead girls

The end is near, the

apocalypse arrives

The dead have risen,

somehow I survived

It's been a long time and

I'm feeling really lonely

I'm gonna stack a couple from

the horde to be my homies

Alas, the game is survival

But a man has needs and

these needs are primal

This time I made my move,

you can do this, Michael

You're the last one alive

You're the king, it's rightful

They ramble through the

town in states of undress

I'm barely even mad,

I'm kind of impressed

All their bare asses

and uncovered breasts

What's the worst that can happen

They could eat my flesh

I mean, there really

isn't any anything to lose

Because I've had enough of this planet

- Super queef cannon.

(laser firing)

(expl*si*n roars)

Well, the story spread far

and wide across all the land.

I got totally famous,

over a million followers

on all my socials.

And with the money that I got

from the president rubbing my feet,

I was able to stop stripping

and follow my real passion.

I'm now a porn star.

- Zilla, babe, you look beautiful.

- That's the director, Jack Offerton.

So which swinging hunk am I using today?

- Ah, well we have a very

important co-star for you today.

His name is Chad Stephenson.

He also happens to be

the executive producer

on this little skin flick we got here.

Hey Brick, get me Chad.

- Geez, man, you don't gotta yell.

I got this thing cranked up

so I can get all the good

macaroni noises, you know.

I'll get him.

Hey Chad, we're ready for you.

- Let's do this before

these pills wear off

and I lose this wood.

- Jack, shouldn't we be using

a professional actor for this?

- Chad is a professional.

But listen, guys, they want to see

a regular looking schlob like him get

with a beautiful woman like you.

- You know, just because I'm a sex worker

doesn't mean I'm a hooker.

You can't just sell me

to the highest bidder.

- Listen, this business is rough, babe.

Sometimes you just gotta

take it in the a*s.

I mean, if this movie makes some money,

I'll see you about getting

you some oily beefcake

in the next one, all right?

All right, everybody, places.

- I can smell his ba*ls from here.

You owe me, Jack.

- [Brick] Hot Sweaty Funk Junk.

Scene one, take one.

(clapperboard clacks)

- And action.

- Hey there, stud.

You here to give me

that hot, sweaty funk junk

I ordered from room service?

- Yeah, whatever. Open

up that stench trench.

I'm in a hurry.

(Chad and Zilla moaning)

- Oh my god.

- Oh yeah. I'm really giving it to you.

- Shut your mouth.

(mellow music)

- Your special assistants

have arrived, Dr. Stephenson.

- Oh yes. Thank you, Ms. Tiggolbitties.

Send them on in.

Welcome, ladies.

As you may have heard,

Macro Hard is developing

a special top secret robotics program,

a program in which all of you are going

to be playing a very important role in.

You ladies will be working

very closely with myself

as well as my associate,

Dr. Stephen Cornwallace.

- Hello, skanks.

I am Dr. Cornwallace.

You have already met my

assistant, Dr. Stephenson,

who happens to be a

brilliant, brilliant doctor

in the world of technology and robotics.

After all his work on the

Tickle Me a**l Project

back in Japan is the stuff of legend.

But I however, am a doctor of surgery

for I am a world class surgeon.

Yes, I can cut and stitch

like the son of a b*tch.

It would blow your little sticky minds

of what I could do with just two hands

and 10 and a half fingers.

Anyways, you might be wondering,

what would a top class

company like Micro Hard need

with a lonely little surgeon like myself?

Well, shut up. I'll tell ya.

Because ladies, listen here, you, you

and yes, even you, yes, especially you,

you all are going to

be part of the future.

Yes, because you are going

to be the first ever human

skanks to be enhanced

with cyber skank technology.

Yes. Yes.

Once me and Dr. Stephenson

get done with y'all,

oh, you're going to be able

to run faster, jump higher, screw longer,

and most importantly,

you're going to be able

to k*ll, k*ll, k*ll more efficiently.

- That sounds really dangerous.

- I did not sign up for any surgeries.

- Like, do we get paid

sick leave for this?

- Ladies, ladies, take it easy.

All your questions will

be answered very shortly

and your pretty little

minds will be put at ease.

Now, if you all just go ahead

and take a look at this.

(Wipe neuralizer whirs)

Thank you.

- Oh, the old mind wipe neuralizer trick.

Epstein's favorite toy.

- Yeah, not quite. This ain't

your daddy's neuralizer.

This one's different. It

doesn't just wipe the mind.

What it does is it turns the brain

into a creamy pile of pistachio pudding.

- I love pistachio pudding.

That's my favorite.

Next to banana, of course.

But these ladies skanks,

they won't be needing

their brains for long,

because once he replaced

their empty little noggins

with your super computer technology,

oh, it is game on.

- Oh yeah, and now with

our three cyber skanks

and Mecha you know who,

our plan for revenge will begin.

We will finally be able

to get back at Babezilla

for what she did to our twin brothers.

They will not have died in vain.

- Yes, indeed.

- Indeed.

- Indeed.

- Indeed.

- Indeed.

- Indeed.

- Indeed.

(Stephenson and Cornwallace laugh)

- (indistinct)

- Carry on.

Ms. Tiggolbitties, have these

women go to the surgery room

and prep them for operation.

And when you're done there,

I want you to come back

to my office for a little slap piddle.

- Right away, doctor.

Come on, ladies.

(ominous music)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(ominous music continues)

(people chattering)

- Good afternoon, everyone.

I'm Chet Chesterton with WRUN

News coming to you today live

from the Babezilla meet and greet.

All these people have been

waiting patiently in line

for over six hours

to meet the beautiful buxom superhero.

Let's go ahead and see what

some of our citizens have to say

when they finally meet Babezilla.

Hello. Are you here to meet Babezilla?

- Yeah, I want to know

if it like feels good

when the lasers come out of

her n*pples and her hoo-ha

or like if it burns, you know.

- What do you plan to

say when you meet her?

- I just want to get close

enough to smell her hair.

- Like, well, I guess it's safe to say

that she's got her hands

full with this crowd.

I've just received word

that Babezilla has arrived

and will be out momentarily.

(people cheering)

- Are you sure this is a good idea, Jack?

I'm feeling kind of off sunset scene today

and my boobs feel weird.

Something's just not right.

And I think I'm about to lay an egg.

- Listen, it is gonna be fine.

We're gonna go in there.

You're gonna sign a couple autographs.

You're gonna take a couple of pictures.

Bing bang boom.

We're gonna both walk out

of this a little bit richer, all right?

- Okay.

(people cheering)

- Babezilla!

- Babezilla! Babezilla!

- Oh my god, f*ck, it's

really you Babezilla.

You are my f*cking biggest hero.

I love you so f*cking much.

I can't believe I'm meeting you.

Please sign my boobs.

- Wow. Those are some nice honkers.

Oh, what the f*ck?

That's my biggest fan.

You're gonna pay for that, b*tch.

(Babezilla screams)

- Wrong move, cyber skank.

(laser fires)

- In a bizarre turn of events,

the meet and greet seems

to have come under attack

by what seems to be cyborg women?

It's a gruesome scene.

But I'm confident

Babezilla will save us all.

(saw buzzing)

- Oh my god.

You k*lled America's favorite

news guy, Chet Chesterton.

You c**t.

- This is Chet Chesterton

signing off forever.

- Sorry, I'm a hugger.

(laser fires)

Babezilla

Babe, babe, babe,

babe, babe, babe, babe

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe

Babe, babe, babe,

babe, babe, babe, babe

Babezilla

- You cyber skanks are really

starting to piss me off.

(laser fires)

No, it can't be.

(laser fires)

(laser fires)

Stop f*cking around.

(lasers fire)

(expl*si*n roars)

- Objective complete.

- Wake up, you lazy bum.

- Mom, am I dead?

- Not yet but you just

got your a*s handed to you

by a robot version of yourself.

I came here to give you guidance.

- Why should I listen to

you? You were always so mean.

- I'm a lizard.

That's what I do. I'm cold blooded.

You are so lucky

that I didn't eat you before you hatched.

And your father, he's

this sentiment mammal,

putting these thoughts into your head

about hero sh*t and ugh.

I did what I could do

to be a loving mother.

I took this human form,

these giant big old hooters

for you to suck on.

I don't even produce milk.

Although I will admit that I did enjoy it

when you were sucking on them.

- Mom, that's embarrassing.

- That's the same thing you said

the last time you sucked on these t*tties.

You were 16 and your friend

from school caught you.

- Please just tell me what

I need to know and go away.

- All right. Geez.

If you want to defeat the MechaBabezilla,

you must study with the

great c**t fu, Master Beta.

- Where can I find this Master Beta?

- You must seek Master Beta.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

- It's taking forever.

Babezilla phone, give me

directions to c**t Fu Master Beta.

- Master Beta's c**t Fu dojo

is five seconds away by foot.

- Oh, that's convenient.

(flute tooting)

- Excuse me, Miss Circus Freak.

Have you seen a kung fu master?

- It is Master Beta which you seek.

- Yes. Have you seen her?

- Why do you seek Master Beta?

- You see, I was at this meet and greet

and I was feeling all types of funky

and these cyber skanks showed up

and started k*lling all of my fans.

And then this evil robot me showed up

and totally kicked my a*s.

I've never been beaten before,

so I was feeling pretty down.

But then my ghost mom appeared and told me

to beat MechaBabezilla, I

should come find Master Beta.

So here I am.

And oh my god, you're her, aren't you?

- In the flesh.

Familiar, I am with your ghost mom.

I totally sucked her t*tties.

Train you, I shall.

- Great. What are we starting with?

Kicks, punches, five point heart attack?

- First you must

polish this bean.

- [Babezilla] You're kidding, right?

- Master Beta does not kid.

- So what? I just rub

it with this dry rag?

Not gonna lie, I kind of liked

when she spit on my bean.

- No, no, no.

Like this.

Whack on, whack off.

Whack on, whack off.

- Whack on, whack off.

Whack on, whack off.

Defeated by an evil robot you

But you didn't give up

No, there's still work to do

So you found Master Beta

Now you're learning kung fu

But when you double down that

dog, don't forget to chew

Yeah, yeah

Always chew you food

before you swallow

Always chew you food

before you swallow

Now we're almost to the

end of our mantra song

Are you ready for battle

No, you've only begun

Flaming bananas, polishing beans

Those cyber skanks,

they're really mean

Yeah, you know what I mean

They're really, really mean

The cyber skanks

- Whack on, whack off.

Whack on, whack off.

Whack on, whack off.

I'm exhausted. Whack on, whack off.

I need a hot shower.

(Master Beta moaning)

- As above, so below.

(liquid trickling)

Namaste.

- That did it.

- Babezilla, is that you?

- [Babezilla] Yes. Sorry, Master Beta.

- No need.

Come in here and let me show

you the flying scissor kick.

Are you sure you're ready?

- Yes, I now know the secret

to defeating MechaBabezilla.

- Then go, you must.

- Thank you, master.

I'll never forget you.

(phone ringing)

Hello, Babezilla speaking.

(audience clapping)

- Hello Babezilla. Thank

goodness you answered.

This is the president.

You may recognize my top secret

CIA Indian golfing disguise.

It has been stuck on

for quite some time now

and I am beginning to accept

that this is the new me.

- It suits you quite well, sir.

- Oh Babezilla, we are

in quite the pickle.

The cyber skanks

and MechaBabezilla are

taking over the world

and k*lling anyone who resist them.

- [Audience] Boo!

- That b*tch is going down. Mr. President.

I've been training in developing

new techniques to beat her.

- Yes, unfortunately we

all saw her defeat you

on a nationwide live television broadcast,

but you are still our only hope.

- I won't let you down again.

This time, it's personal.

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla versus the cyber skanks

The rise of MechaBabezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Kaboom

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla

Babezilla versus the cyber skanks

The rise of MechaBabezilla

Babe, babe, babe, babe,

babe, babe, Babezilla

Part Two

- What the f*ck?

That's some f*cked up sh*t.

I think I recognize her.

- Time to die, sorry b*tch.

- [Babezilla] Oh, you

f*cking m*therf*cker.

(sword clanging)

- (indistinct)

(sword clanging)

- I'll f*cking k*ll you.

- f*ck you. Go back to

hell where you belong.

Go f*cking back. f*ck you.

- Die, you wh*re.

Die!

(indistinct)

- Oh, you b*tch.

- You have a boyfriend who's never happy.

(Captain Cut laughs)

- You fight, m*therf*cker! Fight!

You wh*re.

- You wish you looked like me, b*tch.

(sparks crackling)

- Where are you, b*tch? I can smell you.

I know you're in here.

(saw buzzing)

- Right here, b*tch. I'll

cut you down like a tree.

- Big money mega fire.

(laser firing)

- Systems compromised.

(Major Mammaries screams)

(sparks crackling)

- Ready or not, here I come.

Peekaboo, you wh*re.

Too slow.

- Die, you b*tch.

Clamps!

I'm gonna get you, you f*cking wh*re.

(sword clanging)

Okay, how about a good old

fashioned titty twister contest?

(Babezilla screams)

(laser fires)

(laser fires)

- I've been waiting for you, Babezilla.

You're a fool to come here.

I've beaten you before

and I'll beat you again.

And this time I'll make

sure to finish the job.

- Talk is cheap and so is your mother.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

You ready to end this,

you shitty knockoff?

- Amusing. Your super queef

cannon is no match for mine.

- Show me what you got, hoe.

- Super queef cannon.

- Whack on, whack off.

Whack on, whack off.

(upbeat music)

That takes care of that trash.

Now let's see who made this mess.

- Wait, please, don't k*ll us.

- Wait, wait, wait.

We surrender. We surrender.

Go ahead, take us to jail.

Take us to jail. We give up.

- What the f*ck? Haven't

I k*lled you two before?

- Get her Steve.

- Uh-oh.

- Get f*cked, Steve.

- You k*lled my favorite Steve.

Oh, I'm going to get

you, you lizard b*tch.

(laser fires)

- You no-good drinking f*cking loser.

You're nothing good for society.

All you do is make the world a worse place

and the worst part about you

is your d*ck can never stay hard.

- Lady, normally you'd be right,

but right now, I'm as hard as steel.

- Well no, you're thinking

of our much more grosser

and much more out of shape twin brothers,

Cornelius and Steven.

We, however, are two completely different

and totally, totally original characters.

See, my name is Dr. Cornwallace.

- And I'm Dr. Stephenson.

- So your brother's name

was Cornelius Cornwallace

and Steve Stephenson?

- Yes, I'm afraid this was all for revenge

for you k*lling our twin brothers,

but things went too far

and they got out of hand.

- Yeah, you know, can't you see?

It was just a simple

little harmless, funny game

of, you know, bloody murderous revenge.

I mean, you get it, you get it.

You're a lizard of the woman of the city.

You know, you get it.

You know, just let us

live though. Let us live.

And, you know, we can get you

some precious information.

- What kind of information?

- How about the name and location

of the man who's really behind

all this, our benefactor?

He helped fund the robotics program for us

and help us create the cyber

skanks and MechaBabezilla

and he took them over though

for his own plans of world domination.

- Who is this f*ck?

- His name is...

(head pops)

- You know,

Stephenson, he's a joker.

He's a joker. He's a prankster.

You know, the whole thing

about there being someone

secretly in charge this entire time.

It was a joke, you know,

like a booby shart, you know.

It's funny, it's comedy he was doing.

He's a very funny man, you

know, with or without a head.

He's hilarious. Very hilarious, you know.

Wocka wocka m*therf*cker, you know,

'cause clearly it was

just me, Dr. Cornwallace

in charge of this whole

thing the entire time

and if anyone is listening in

to this conversation right

now, clearly I am admitting

that it was me alone and

I will totally go to jail

and take the blame for the cyber skanks

and therefore, no reason

for my head to go kaboom.

(head pops)

- Makes my job easier.

Hello, Mr. President, this is Babezilla.

Those cyber skanks are on the junk heap

and won't be bothering anyone anymore.

- Oh, thank you, Babezilla.

What would this world do without you?

You have saved us once again.

I would like to show my gratitude

by giving you not only a lifetime supply

of foot rubs,

but also the key to the US mint

so you can print as much money

as you need whenever you would like.

(laser fires)

- Oh my god, that's amazing.

This will change my life forever.

These boots are K*llers on your arches.

And that's how I defeated

my greatest foe yet,

MechaBabezilla.

And now with unlimited money,

I can fund all my own pornos

and f*ck the hottest guys I want.

- Oh f*ck.

Good game.

- Thanks for the cream pie, honey boy.

- Yeah.

- It's your turn, Jack.

- Oh, come on, babe.

Don't do me like that.

- Oh, come on.

This business is rough

and sometimes you just

gotta take it in the a*s.

Now do you want to get paid or not?

- Everybody run. There's

sh*t monsters everywhere.

- Get back, you human.

(sh*t monster grunts)

Prepare to get wiped out, Babezilla.

- Oh sh*t.

Thoughts again, wired thoughts

System overload, all data lost

No function, let's test the night

It's so lovely to then override

Shed no tears

Shed no tears

Shed no tears, robots don't cry

Shed no tears

Shed no tears

Shed no tears, robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

Robots don't cry

- [Babezilla] You cyber

skanks are really starting

to piss me off.

(mellow music)

(mellow music continues)