01x04 - Burn or Get Burned

[bunniefuu]

[cinematic music playing]

[Seon-min] Please welcome
Director Fake Joon-h*

-with a big round of applause!
-[all cheer and clap]

[Chang-h*]
He's going up to secure the win.

It's crucial to start
and end strong in comedy.

A great finish can leave a huge impact.

[Seon-min] Son Heung-min, BTS,
and then there's Fake Joon-h*.

[Se-yoon in English] Thank you.

-[in Korean] Thank you.
-[Gyu-jin] It's an honor.

The honor's all mine.

[Gyu-jin] I had no idea
he was preparing this.

[applause]

-[Yong-jin] Parasite, right?
-Yes, I did Parasite.

-You're the guy who has tons of parasites.
-Yes.

-[Yong-jin] Oh, my goodness.
-[Seon-min] Director Fake Joon-h*.

Respect, Director!

HWANG JAE-SEONG IS KNOWN TO LOOK LIKE
PARASITE'S PARK MYUNG-HOON

[Seon-min] Congratulations.

I'd like to ask everyone
to quiet down, please.

[imitating Bong Joon-h*] Uh...

I was planning to sit back
with my vegan burger...

[laughing] His vegan burger?

...and watch comedians roast each other,

but here I am.

"I was planning to eat my vegan burger
and watch this roast, but here I am."

-[in English] Thank you.
-[in Korean] Wait, he's speaking Korean.

-[Jae-youl] He's speaking Korean.
-Why are you interpreting that?

Throughout my career in comedy,

there is one man who has
always been an inspiration to me.

"There is one man who has
always been an inspiration to me."

[in English] Thank you.

[crowd laughs]

From day one, he's always said to me,

"Get lost."

-[chuckles]
-[Se-yoon] "You'll never make it."

"Get out."

"Find another line of work."

The very person who said those words to me
is sitting right here.

Ah...

[in English]
That quote was from our great...

Kyung-kyu Lee!

[uplifting cinematic music playing]

[applause]

[theme music playing]

COMEDY ROYALE

EPISODE 4
BURN OR GET BURNED

[Seon-min] That concludes
Team Moon Se-yoon's roast.

[Ji-yoon] That Bong Joon-h* bit was great.

Wow.

-[Yong-jin] It was well-thought-out.
-[Jin-h*] It really was.

-[bell rings]
-[Se-yoon] Okay. Get ready for Round 3.

[announcer] The vote count

-will now be revealed.
-[Jae-seong] We might not get first.

[announcer] The winner of this roast is...

TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

TEAM MOON SE-YOON

[announcer] The winner is...

with 85 points,

Team Moon Se-yoon.

1ST PLACE
TEAM MOON SE-YOON, 85 POINTS

TEAM MOON SE-YOON: 2 WINS

[Jae-seong] Thank you.

Seon-min,

it's all thanks to you.

I knew you'd shine with us.
You got that, kid?

-Thank you.
-Of course.

2ND PLACE
TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

We got a lot of votes.

3RD PLACE
TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

[Yong-jin] Keep going after them.

Are we in danger?

We might get eliminated.

-[bell rings]
-[announcer] The next team to be roasted

is Team Moon Se-yoon.

Team Moon Se-yoon,
please get on the stage.

-Oh, my god!
-[crowd cheers]

[Jae-seong] Please go easy on us.

[cheers]

[Se-yoon] We'll make our pick.

We choose Team Lee Kyung-kyu.

FIRST ROASTERS
TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU

[upbeat trap music playing]

[Se-yoon] By herself?

[Beom] Another solo act?

They might place last if she goes alone.

-How brave.
-That's intimidating.

So I prepared a solo performance

based on a true story of a real person.

-That's different.
-[crowd whoops]

[Jae-seong] This will be fun.

[Ji-yoon grunts]

Hi. [grunts]

I'm here to return some clothes.

[grunts]

I'm Moon Se-yoon's stylist.

-[laughs]
-[Ji-yoon groans]

It's just one item.

Remember this T-shirt?

Just a moment. Goodness.

-[crowd laughs]
-Sorry, just a second.

[Jae-seong] Is that a curtain?

Anyway, I'd like to return this T-shirt.

[Ji-yoon pants]

Do you have this in a bigger size?

[crowd laughs]

[moans]

Good one!

-This is funny.
-It is.

[Yong-jin] He must be a fan of Se-yoon's.
He's not happy.

MOON SE-YOON

[Yong-jin] See? He hates it.

He said it was too small for him.

And he told me to say this
if you didn't give him a bigger size.

"I'm the Grand Prize winner
of the f*cking KBS Awards."

MOON SE-YOON WON THE GRAND PRIZE
AT THE KBS AWARDS IN 2021

[Ji-yoon] He told me to tell you that.

If you look in here,

you'll find the pins I borrowed too.

They're not in there?

I could've sworn I put them...

Oh, they must be buried inside Se-yoon.

[crowd laughs]

[laughs]

-Where could they be?
-[Se-yoon] Don't believe her.

-[Yong-jin] Like a bunch of skewers.
-Yes?

Is this Se-yoon's manager? Hey.

Has Se-yoon gotten his tetanus shot yet?

[crowd chuckles]

He hasn't? Well, I guess he's dead.

-[crowd laughs]
-[Ji-yoon] Okay, no worries.

You'll see I put a lot of effort
into washing this...

There's poop on it?

[crowd laughs]

[Ji-yoon] Just a moment.

[laughs]

Hello?

Did Se-yoon have a big laugh
during today's sh**t?

[crowd laughs, claps]

She's really good.

She's great.

-Is she only roasting me?
-[Ji-yoon] And...

let me just check the pockets
before returning this.

Just a moment.

Wait, what the f*ck?

[Ji-yoon] Why are there snacks
in the pockets?

Why does he keep stealing my snacks?

Hold on.

Hey, Se-yoon.

Why do you keep stealing my snacks?

-They're what you pay me with!
-[laughs]

-How could you steal them?
-[Seung-jin] Is this true?

-I can't work like this.
-[Seung-jin] Do you do that?

How is your Joo Hyun impression
supposed to make me feel better?

[all laugh]

[Kyung-kyu] What a jerk.

[Ji-yoon] I can't work like this anymore.

GET OUT, MOON SE-YOON

This will be my last day,

so let me say this
before you get a new stylist.

Please don't joke about
high cholesterol being contagious

to the stylists.

-[Ji-yoon] It's scary.
-[all laugh]

I feel like I should return these
before I go.

His nipple covers.

[crowd cheers, claps]

[Hoon] Burn!

[Ji-yoon] His nipple covers.

[all laugh]

Burn!

That was a perfect ending.

That was amazing.

[Jae-seong] She got us good.

You're good.

[Se-yoon] Ji-yoon's really good.

[Yong-jin] I loved Ji-yoon's roast.

It felt like a sketch
but with a live feel to it.

I was surprised.

I know she was roasting me,

but her spirit and tone were amazing,

as were her acting and ideas.

I could learn a thing or two
from the young g*ns.

[Seon-min] We choose Team Lee Yong-jin.

SECOND ROASTERS
TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

[Jae-youl] I was so nervous
because we desperately needed a win.

[Jin-h*] This is our last chance.
We have to go hard.

[Yong-jin] We were in a bad spot.

We could've gotten eliminated.

But the underdogs
always bring home dramatic victories.

We'll show you what we got.

If I'm being completely honest,

I don't think the audience
likes us very much.

HWANG JAE-SEONG, YONG-JIN

[crowd laughs]

Why would you say that out loud?

-[Seung-jin] What?
-However!

[Yong-jin] That won't stop us.

I'll go first this time.

[crowd cheers, claps]

Mr. Hwang Jae-seong.

[laughs]

-Jae-seong.
-[Jae-seong] What?

You mother [bleep].

[crowd laughs]

You motherswagger.

[Ji-yong] Motherswagger. Swag.

[Du-young] Stay seated!

Sorry, I was a bit nervous.

[Jae-seong] Sure, I understand.

-[Se-yoon] Just laugh it off.
-[Eun-ji] Don't help them.

Let me talk about
Mr. Hwang Jae-seong's family motto.

My family motto?

Three C, One B.

-Three C, One B?
-[Eun-ji] Three C, One B?

It's Three Crocs, One Balenciaga.

-[Se-yoon] Right.
-Oh.

His youngest daughter wears Crocs.

[Yong-jin] His oldest son wears Crocs,

and his wife wears Crocs too.

And who wears the Balenciaga?

Hwang Jae-seong.

How many times have I told you
not to talk about that?

LEE YONG-JIN OFTEN
TEASES JAE-SEONG ABOUT THIS

I told you not to talk about that.

It's true.

[all laugh]

[Jae-seong] He keeps spreading rumors
that my wife wears straw shoes

and that I suffer from residual urine.

Tell us if we're wrong. If there's
something wrong with our research,

just tell us we're wrong, you [bleep]!

[crowd laughs, cheers]

Now you're actually trying.

He's just nervous.

Why did you make your wife wait in line

at the Galleria department store?

[crowd chuckles]

We never even went there.

The Bottega Veneta store at Galleria.

Why did you make your wife wait in line
at 10:00 a.m. for the new bag?

I never made her wait.
Plus, the store opens at 11:00 a.m.

Exactly. So why did you
make her wait starting at 10:00 a.m.?

-[laughs]
-[Ji-yong] Explain yourself, criminal!

So I could be one of the first to get in!

-[crowd jeers]
-[Yong-jin] That's how bad he is.

Look at Jin-h* behind Yong-jin.

-[Sang-jun] Look at his face.
-What's up with him?

[Sang-jun] Look at his reaction.

[Jae-hoon]
What's with his facial expression?

Where is he even looking?

Yong-jin!

Shouldn't the guy behind you
get some sleep?

[all laugh]

[bleep] you, as*h*le.

[crowd laughs, cheers]

[Beom] Has he lost his mind?

[Gyu-jin] How dare you say that to him?

Why are you swearing?

[Yong-jin] He's just nervous.

He's nervous.

[Du-young] He's just nervous.

It's not like we'll cross paths again.

I might see him around 2033.

If he's still alive by then.

Be well.

-[Du-young] May I?
-Sure.

I'm in charge of Mr. Moon Se-yoon.

[Du-young] Is it true that last month,

you were at a rest stop in Gwangju

on your way to Gangneung,

and broke a toilet just by sitting on it?

[Jae-youl] Explain yourself!

As a representative of obese people,

-that never happened.
-Stop wasting our time with your excuses!

[laughs]

And Mr. Moon,

it says here that your first kiss
was not with your current wife.

[Du-young] Apparently,

you've kept a beef tongue
in your freezer for years.

-Come on.
-[crowd laughs]

Beef tongue, for crying out loud!

[Du-young] Is it true that your first kiss

-was with a beef tongue?
-What are you talking about?

Stop wasting our time with your excuses!

-[laughs]
-[Du-young] Stay seated!

[Se-yoon] Why are you all so angry?

Why would I kiss a beef tongue...

[Jae-seong] He's here.

-[Se-yoon] I'm scared.
-[Jae-seong] It's the thug.

Mr. Lee Seon-min.
I'm Prosecutor Lee Jae-youl.

You guys didn't get to see it,

but Mr. Lee and I played
a couple of mating monkeys in Round 1.

Right.

[Jae-youl] That was
our sorry excuse for comedy.

Before we went on stage,

you gave me a condom.

-[Jae-youl] What was that for?
-[laughs]

What I gave you was actually

a vitamin C packet.

[crowd laughs, claps]

[participant] Nice save.

[Se-yoon] Good one.

That's all from... Okay.

[laughs]

[Seon-min] Why did you stutter?

Hold on.

[Eun-ji] You can do it, Jae-youl!

-[Seon-min] Why?
-[Eun-ji] You got this!

-[Yong-jin] I'll go last.
-[Jin-h*] Okay.

No, you go first.

Shouldn't he get some sleep?

-Shut the [bleep] up!
-[crowd cheers]

Just shut the f*ck up, you as*h*le!

-Sit down.
-Why did you...

[Ji-yong] But he keeps...

I've been patient for so long!

Your eyes are barely open.

[Beom] He's acting like a thug!

He needs some medicine or some sleep.

[Beom] Stop acting like a thug.

Sit down if you've got nothing to say.

[Yong-jin] Please understand
that we're underdogs.

They're extremely fired up.

They've lost their minds.

My apologies.

I'm Park Jin-h*, the prosecutor
in charge of Ms. Lee Eun-ji.

You've become quite popular
from being on Earth Arcade.

There are rumors
that you keep taking pictures of An Yu-jin

to sell them as merch over the internet.

HE'S JOKING

And I happen to be into thrifty women.

[crowd laughs]

[Yong-jin] Nice.

Born on February 7th, 1991.

[Jin-h*] Aries, blood type A.

From Incheon.

NONE OF THIS IS TRUE

[Jin-h*] I've been interested
in you, Eun-ji.

-I f*cking love you, Eun-ji!
-[crowd cheers]

[in Japanese] Aishiteruyo!

[Jae-youl] Say it back!

-Say it back!
-Say it back!

-Say it back!
-Say it back!

I'm sorry...

but I'm celibate.

[crowd groans]

[Jae-hoon] What was that?

[Eun-ji] He just walked away.

What's his deal?

[laughs]

They don't know how to improvise.

They're not quick-witted.

I'm not interested in marriage either.

I'm only interested in you.

WE GAVE HIM ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY
BUT HE THREW IT AWAY

THIRD ROASTERS
TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

Let's get started.

We're here

to roast Team Moon Se-yoon.

We're the Spicy Guys.

[all together] Spicy.

What is that?

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

Spicy.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

THIS IS A PARODY OF A SKETCH
FROM GAG CONCERT

-[Beom] Spicy.
-Hey, fatty.

-Spicy!
-[Sun-uk] Spicy.

Wait.

We haven't even roasted you yet,
but you're already burnt.

-Spicy!
-Spicy.

-You're well-done.
-[Jae-seong] That was a good buildup.

You moved recently, didn't you?

I did.

I hear your upstairs neighbors
already have complaints about you.

-Why?
-[Jae-seong] Already?

They can't stand the constant smell
of grilled meat from your place.

[Jae-hoon's team] Spicy.

So they knocked on your door
and walked in to see

that you weren't grilling meat.

It was just your fat a*s on the floor
with the heater on high.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

The smoke's making my nose burn.

-[Sun-uk] Spicy.
-[participant] Spicy.

[Gyu-jin] Here's something else I heard.

DEEP SIGH

-[Kyung-kyu sighs]
-Well...

[all laugh]

Hey, you!

HECKLER: SOMEONE WHO INTERRUPTS A SET
ON PURPOSE (LEE KYUNG-KYU)

-How dare you yawn during a performance?
-You threw me off!

-[Sang-jun] You're garbage.
-[Gyu-jin] You're garbage.

You hate it when a sh**t
goes for too long.

Sit next to me at the team dinner.

[Sang-jun] You're garbage.

-You're garbage.
-[crowd cheers]

-Spicy!
-[crowd] Spicy!

[Gyu-jin] Keep going!

So spicy!

[crowd cheers]

All right, Lee Eun-ji.

I'm not gonna roast her.
I'm gonna seduce her.

[crowd cheers]

[Jae-hoon's team] Spicy.

[Jae-hoon's team] Spicy.

[Sang-jun] Spicy. That's even worse.

Remember how we ate together
during our break?

That spoon you thought you returned?

I have it on me.

[crowd exclaims]

No way! No!

[Jae-seong] No way! No!

[crowd screams]

-[Jae-seong] He's licking it!
-[Beom] Spicy!

-He's licking it!
-[Sang-jun, Gyu-jin] That's spicy!

Very nice. What a spicy roast.

[Sun-uk] Spicy!

[Gyu-jin] Spicy!

Is anyone going to stop him?

-[Eun-ji] Look at Beom.
-Who is he even supposed to be?

[Jae-seong]
You got scoliosis or something?

[Sun-uk] Please bear with him.

He looks like he's lost his mind.

[Kyung-kyu] That kid right there.

-[Chang-h*] You mean in a good way?
-No way.

It's time to roast Lee Seon-min.

-Lee Seon-min...
-Spicy.

-I haven't started yet.
-[laughs]

Spicy.

-Lee Seon-min, you...
-Spicy.

Let me finish.

They're not on the same page.

Lee Seon-min.

[Beom] Your mom told you
to work on the farm with her

if you didn't make it as a comedian.

Why haven't you gone?
Do you think you've made it?

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

You gotta back me up here.

-Spicy.
-Was it not spicy?

-[Sun-uk] Spicy.
-[Seung-jin] Help him out.

"Was it not spicy?"

-[audience] Let's go, Beom!
-Here I go.

-Back me up. What are you waiting for?
-Spicy.

Everyone say it.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

Spicy.

[audience] Spicy.

[Se-yoon] Are you done?

[Sang-jun]
Well, he does have one more line.

-But you're not doing it, are you?
-[Beom] I'm done.

Everyone say "spicy."

[Sang-jun] You might not know this,

but our team finished first in Round 1.

[crowd cheers]

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

[Beom] Spicy.

The moment he joined our team,

we became much weaker.

-Spicy.
-Spicy.

You're supposed to roast them.

You're not supposed to roast me.

I should've taken Beom aside

and made him practice
for a couple of hours.

We planned it together.

That's how it was supposed to go.

But I didn't,
and he threw us off completely.

Sang-jun actually roasted me
and not the other team.

He should've taken the hint
and backed away from the mic,

but I think he felt the need
to fix the situation.

[Gyu-jin] He ruined it.

Not spicy!

[announcer]
The vote count will now be revealed.

The winner of this roast is...

TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU

TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

...with 85 points,

Team Lee Kyung-kyu.

1ST PLACE
TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU, 85 POINTS

Go, Ji-yoon!

[crowd cheers]

2ND PLACE, TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

3RD PLACE, TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

-[Jae-seong] They were good.
-[Chang-h*] Great job, Ji-yoon.

[imitating Kyung-kyu]
You're all horrible judges!

TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU: 1 WIN

[Ji-yoon] Thank you!

TEAM LEE YONG-JIN HAS 0 WINS

[Jin-h*] We're in trouble.

TEAM TAK JAE-HOON HAS 0 WINS

[Sang-jun]
We have our backs against the wall.

If we can bring Team Lee Yong-jin down,

we can move on to Round 3.

We'll advance to the next round
with a proper roast.

THE LAST ROAST

We'd like to invite
Team Moon Se-yoon to roast us.

[crowd cheers]

FIRST ROASTERS
TEAM MOON SE-YOON

To roast someone,
we need some material to work with.

[Seon-min] But we don't see any here.

So we're just going to let
Lee Eun-ji take the stage.

Swag.

[crowd exclaims]

[crowd laughs]

[imitating Ji-yong]
♪ The school bells are ringing ♪

♪ Let's gather up ♪

♪ Our teacher is waiting for us ♪

[crowd cheers]

Eun-G-dragon.

[Eun-ji] You know how I know
this impression by heart?

I saw you do it for seven years. Swag.

-[Ji-yong] Swag.
-[crowd exclaims]

-[Jin-h*] He's a late bloomer.
-Seven years, swag.

[Eun-ji] It took you seven years
to make it with this character.

Once people get tired of this,

will you come up with your next one
when you're 45?

[crowd laughs, cheers]

[Jae-seong] Damn.

Spicy!

[Eun-ji] But hold on.

Does anybody even recognize you
without your hat on?

[crowd exclaims]

[Seon-min] Swag.

Spicy!

[Eun-ji imitating Ji-yong]
♪ The school bells are ringing ♪

You guys try it.

[imitating Ji-yong]
♪ The school bells are ringing ♪

♪ Let's gather up ♪

[Eun-ji] He can do it.

[imitating Ji-yong]
♪ The school bells are ringing ♪

♪ Let's gather up ♪

[Eun-ji] He can do it too. Wait.

-♪ The school bells are ringing ♪
-[Eun-ji] Nope, not him.

-[crowd laughs]
-Not him.

-Not everyone can do it.
-[Seon-min] Calm down.

-[Eun-ji] He can't.
-Some people can't.

[Seon-min] Please calm down.

-Give her a round of applause.
-[Eun-ji] Swag.

[Ji-yong] What a lousy impression.

Honestly, this is a huge insult
to G-Dragon.

I'm never gonna come up
with another impression.

G-Dragon,

let's both stay healthy
and live forever, swag.

We'll choose our next roasters.

[in English] Roaster...

Kyung-kyu Lee!

SECOND ROASTERS
TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU

[crowd cheers]

[Chang-h* warms up voice]

[in Korean] All right, class.

Which team are we studying today?

Team Lee Yong-jin!

[Chang-h*] That's right.

Let's look into their members.

Name the team's members
in the order of popularity.

-Who can answer me?
-[Ji-yoon] Me!

-Lee Yong-jin.
-[Chang-h*] Next.

-Well...
-It gets difficult here.

[Chang-h*] Kim Du...

-Young.
-Young.

-Kim Du-cheol.
-Kim Du-han.

Kim Du-han.

Kim Durum Wheat.

[Jae-youl] What? What is this?

Are you feeling a little lost?
If it's too hard to memorize,

you can call him Kim Dog
since he's good at imitating dogs.

[Chang-h*] Next.

Choi Ji...

-[Chang-h*] Choi Ji...
-Choiza.

-Choi Ji-min.
-[Chang-h*] It's not Choi Ji-yeong.

-It's Choi Ji-yong. Next!
-[Beom] Choi Ji-min.

Park Jin...

-Park Jin-ju.
-Park Avenue.

Park Jin-ju...

[Chang-h*] His name is Park Jin-h*,
not Park Jin, okay?

And the last one. Who's after Park Jin-h*?

You can exclude Jae-youl.
He wasn't even originally on that team.

[crowd laughs, cheers]

[Chang-h*] Now that we know
all the members,

let's learn some music
with our music teacher.

[Du-young] Please don't do Dr. Hong again.

-Hello, everyone.
-[crowd cheers]

[Hoon] All right.

Hold on.

This is Team Lee Yong-jin, right?

Yong-jin, you used to be a part
of People Looking for a Laugh, right?

-Yes.
-[Hoon] All right.

But you jumped ship
to Comedy Big League soon after, no?

[Hoon] You're like the ultimate traitor.

As far as I know, Team Lee Yong-jin...

[laughs]

[Sang-jun] Memorize your lines.

This team could be called
Team Lee Wan-yong.

[Hoon] You could call them
Team Lee Wan-yong-jin.

Now, music please.

[Beom] Is it Dr. Hong again?

GROANS

[Hoon] Once upon a time,

there lived Lee Wan-yong-jin
and his team of nobodies.

Their biggest insecurity was
that no one even knew who they were.

So Lee Wan-yong-jin
visited the famous Dr. Hong,

who told him
to buy followers on Instagram.

So he was at a bus stop
buying Instagram followers

when a man tapped
on his shoulder and said,

"Do you know Team Nobody?"

-[upbeat music playing]
-[crowd cheers]

THE CROWD GOES WILD

Do you know Team Nobody?

[Hoon] I don't.

Do you know Team Nobody?

[Hoon] Thank you.

[crowd cheers]

-[Hoon] You have to remember this.
-[bell rings]

-Lee Wan-yong...
-[announcer] Voting will now begin.

[crowd laughs]

-That's what makes him funny.
-Right.

He's a good punching bag.

[Yong-jin]
Let's bring out our last roasters,

Team Tak Jae-hoon.

LAST ROASTERS
TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

[Beom] My mind was set on destroying them.

10 MINUTES EARLIER

[Jae-seong] Don't steal our prop.

[traditional Korean music playing]

[Beom] I'll consider this my last chance
and do my absolute best.

[Sun-uk]
We need to absolutely k*ll it up there.

[Sang-jun]
We have our backs against the wall.

We'll roast them to a crisp.

He feels out of place.

[Jin-h*] They're all sizzle and no steak.

[clanging]

-[gong clangs]
-[shouts]

[crowd cheers]

Please welcome the famous shaman,
Tattooed Fat Thug.

-[crowd cheers]
-[grunts]

[Gyu-jin] The spirits are coming.

[imitating Sung Si-kyung]
Hello, I'm Fat Si-kyung.

[Gyu-jin] No, not Sung Si-kyung.
Tattooed Fat Thug.

[grunts]

[imitates Fat Jong-won]
Oh man. A lot's changed around here.

[Gyu-jin] No, not Fat Jong-won.

-Tattooed Fat Thug.
-[grunts]

He's a ghost that my friend knows!

[crowd laughs]

Jin-h*. [laughs]

Jin-h* came up to me
during our previous sh**t.

Why?

He said that the cast of Comedy Royale

is half from Comedy Big League
and half from Meta Comedy,

-so he felt like he didn't belong.
-[Gyu-jin] Oh.

He said I was the only one here

-who was in the same boat as him.
-Oh.

Says who?

-[crowd cheers]
-[clanging]

Says who?

I'm rising to the top,

but this is your last stand.

-That's true.
-[Jae-youl] It is.

Jin-h*, you can wipe my a*s.

-[crowd cheers]
-[clanging]

[Ji-yong] Lick it!
Hold back your tears and lick it!

[Jin-h*] He was right.

Thanks for the shout-out.

-[clanging]
-[crowd cheers]

[Beom] I see something.

Ji-yong, are you here for a reading?

[Gyu-jin] How did you know?

I recently had a vision
about Choi Ji-yong.

He didn't do sh*t on
Comedy Big League for ten years.

Six years.

He only succeeded
after working with Kim Hae-jun,

-who did Taeyang impressions.
-That's right.

By kissing Kim Hae-jun's a*s!

-[crowd cheers]
-[clanging]

I heard Hae-jun makes a lot of money,

but doesn't have a bidet.

[Gyu-jin] Why not?

Because he has Choi Ji-yong!

-[cheering]
-[clanging]

-[Sang-jun] Spicy!
-[participant] Spicy!

[Gyu-jin] Does he spit water on it?

-[Sang-jun] So spicy.
-[Gyu-jin] It is.

There he goes again.

[Beom] I see something.

-[Sang-jun] What do you see?
-Goodness, it's so dark.

-[Sang-jun] What is?
-He's doing something with his teeth.

[Beom] Choi Ji-yong is biting off

polyps from Hae-jun's as*h*le!

[clanging]

[Beom] I'm doing as we prepared,
but I'm not sure about this.

-[Gyu-jin] Like a colonoscopy.
-[Beom] Yes.

-[traditional Korean music playing]
-[gong rings]

I knew he would screw it up.

[Jae-seong]
What he said was just plain disgusting.

When you joke about that kind of stuff,

you need to package it nicely
to make it palatable.

It's one of the most
basic skills of a comedian.

No talent,

no tubes...

Give him anesthesia first next time.

-Hae-jun's a*s...
-[Yong-jin] Beom!

Beom!

Liven things up for once.

I'm trying my best, you punk!

[Gyu-jin] Just wait a bit.

-Let's move on.
-All right.

Okay, skip forward.

I did what I could.

[Beom] It's okay. We have more shamans.

I'm a shaman too.

I'm the Toad Shaman.

-I'm honestly kind of upset.
-[Gyu-jin] Hey, wait.

-I'm disappointed in your team.
-[Gyu-jin] Because we ruined the moment?

Yes, you ruined it.

Spicy.

Lousy.

This wasn't how we saw things going.

This concludes our roast.

[crowd laughs]

[Gyu-jin] Where did it all go wrong?

We never had a chance
with a singer as our master!

[Jae-youl] Why are you ignoring us?

[Gyu-jin] Where did it all go wrong?

They could've done better.
This won't get us any screen time.

It really won't.

Once you drop the ball,
it's a slippery slope from there.

[announcer] The roast is over.

-[applause]
-[Kyung-kyu] Thanks for coming!

[crowd] Thank you!

Thank you!

-[Eun-ji] Thank you!
-[Ji-yoon] Thank you!

[Hoon] Do you know Dr. Hong?

[Jin-h*] Take care.

Thanks, Young-joon!

[bell rings]

[announcer] Here are the final results

-for Round 2, the Royal Roasting.
-[tense music playing]

-[Jae-youl] Where?
-[Ji-yong] We'll be first place.

TEAM MOON SE-YOON: 2 WINS

TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU: 1 WIN

TEAM TAK JAE-HOON: 0 WINS

TEAM LEE YONG-JIN: 0 WINS

TEAMS TAK JAE-HOON AND LEE YONG-JIN
ARE BOTH AT RISK OF BEING DISBANDED

[announcer] In first place,

with two wins,

it's a tie between Team Moon Se-yoon
and Team Lee Kyung-kyu.

It's a tie?

TIED FOR 1ST PLACE
TEAMS MOON SE-YOON & LEE KYUNG-KYU

[applause]

[participants] Good job.

TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU GOT AN ADDITIONAL
WIN BY ROASTING TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

[Seung-jin] That's amazing.
They won with a solo act.

[Jae-seong] Congrats, Ji-yoon.

-[Yong-jin] We need third place, at least.
-We can't finish last again, Jae-youl.

-[groans]
-[tense music playing]

I don't want to cry again.

[announcer] Based on the final scores,

the team that will be disbanded is...

WHICH TEAM WILL BE DISBANDED?

[announcer] Team Tak Jae-hoon.

Yes, we're safe!

-[announcer] Team Tak Jae-hoon.
-Yes, we're safe!

[Jae-youl] Yes!

[Du-young] You came in last twice.

-[Eun-ji] Spicy.
-[Du-young] You lost twice.

-[Ji-yong] So spicy.
-[Jae-youl] Yes!

I can't believe we survived.

FINAL STANDINGS
3RD PLACE: TEAM LEE YONG-JIN

4TH PLACE: TEAM TAK JAE-HOON

Do you know the team that got disbanded?

[Du-young] Come on, the roast is over.

[Beom] In the previous challenge,
Team Tak Jae-hoon

came in first place.

But they finished last
as soon as I joined.

So who's the problem here?

It doesn't take a genius
to figure that out.

[Jae-seong] Attention, everyone.

-What's going on?
-[Butler Park] Please excuse me.

[Sang-jun] Take him away.

-[Gyu-jin] What?
-[all] No!

No!

[Gyu-jin] No...

The stragglers will now be auctioned off.

-[Gyu-jin] What?
-[Eun-ji] An auction?

[Butler Park]
The stragglers will now be auctioned off.

TEAM TAK JAE-HOON
WILL NOW BE AUCTIONED OFF

[Butler Park] The winning teams
may keep their current recruit

or replace them with a new one.

[Jin-h*] So they'll be switched out?

[Du-young] Huddle up, team.

CURRENT RECRUITS MAY BE REPLACED

[Se-yoon] Seon-min, stay here.
Don't get the wrong idea.

-[Seung-jin] Don't worry.
-[Se-yoon] You don't have to worry.

[Seung-jin] We need to talk about
Comedy Big League.

-Of course. Take your time.
-[Se-yoon] Don't get the wrong idea.

Let's give Beom another chance.

-[Eun-ji] I don't think so.
-[Se-yoon] He's not it.

Let's just avoid Beom.

[Du-young] He ruins teams.

[Beom sighing] What happened to me?

[Gyu-jin] We're getting split up.

[Beom sighs]

[Beom] There's no doubt now

that I'm the problem.

Beom is getting auctioned off
for the second time.

[Jae-youl] You're unwanted goods.

We at Team Tak Jae-hoon
would like to turn over a new leaf

without Kwak Beom.

[Jae-seong] Spicy.

[Jae-seong] Who wants to join our team?

[Eun-ji laughs]

[Jae-seong] We're not accepting anyone
with physical defects.

What do you mean, "defects"?

[Jae-seong] Anyone who's missing anything...

Let me just say one thing.

Kwak Beom is at fault
for our team's failure.

-[Sang-jun] That's all.
-[Du-young] The weakest link.

My team...

1ST PLACE: TEAM MOON SE-YOON

...will boldly...

[tense music playing]

...keep our recruit.

[exhales in relief]

[Jae-seong] It was a simple decision.

[Se-yoon]
We couldn't choose Beom over you.

[Jae-seong] Seon-min proved himself today.

-Exactly.
-The results speak for themselves.

[Butler Park] The second-place team
will now choose their recruit.

[Kyung-kyu] Okay.

I don't use swear words.

I don't care.

[laughter]

[Jae-youl] You don't care?

I don't care if you swear.

You garbage.

[Ji-yoon]
I think Sun-uk could be a decent pick.

Shouldn't we recruit someone?

The fat kid with the glasses.

[Ji-yoon] Should we pick him? Okay.

We choose Na Sun-uk.

TEAM LEE KYUNG-KYU

Go join your new family.

-We got the good one!
-[Sang-jun] Actually,

Na Sun-uk was at fault for our failure.

[laughter]

Would any of you like to join
Team Lee Yong-jin?

[laughter]

You didn't even hesitate.

[Yong-jin] Well...

[Du-young] Make them audition.

When the Meta Comedy team was disbanded,

we talked about our dream,

which was to make
an original Netflix show together.

I would now like to achieve that dream
with Team Lee Yong-jin.

You have no shame.

After a short consideration,
we won't replace our recruit.

-I knew you wouldn't.
-[Du-young] All right!

-[Yong-jin] Yes!
-[Du-young] We only want you.

-[Yong-jin] We have faith in you.
-You're all we have.

I believed in you too.

You did so well.

-[Jae-youl] Screw you, losers.
-[bell rings]

[announcer] Eliminated young g*ns,
you may now leave the set.

[Jae-seong] Goodbye.

-Bye.
-[Jae-youl] See you.

[Jae-seong] Bye, guys.

[Sun-uk] See you, you boring b*stards.

-[participant] Right away?
-This is really sad.

-[Sun-uk] We lost because of you!
-[Gyu-jin] No!

[Hoon] Good job, Sun-uk.

-[bell rings]
-[Ji-yong] What?

[announcer] The last round will be
a grand clash of characters,

the Character Royal Rumble.

Welcome to the battle royale from hell.

-[screeches]
-[sneezes]

Blood is thicker than water.

-[buzzer goes off]
-[announcer] Warning.

-[Jae-seong] What are you two doing?
-[Beom] Stop!

I'm going to wash up.

[mutters strangely]

[upbeat hip-hop music playing]