04x06 - Interlude IV

[bunniefuu]

[TV STATIC DRONES]

[BRIGHT TONE]

It's an obvious win-win situation.

We bring thousands of
people to this community

every week to worship
at our Salvation Center.

They eat at your restaurants.
They shop at your stores.

And with this latest
expansion we're proposing,

we will bring even more
revenue into our community.

You are talking about
building a 10-acre parking lot.

You may be able to buy out
desperate people, Dr. Gemstone,

but that doesn't make it right.

[APPLAUSE, SCATTERED ASSENTS]

Look, we just want to
make Rogers a better place.

We're not only offering a space

where family and friends can gather.

We're creating good-paying jobs.

Like a parking-lot attendant?

[LAUGHTER]

Now, I realize that the
rest of the county board

may rubber-stamp
whatever you want to do.

But I speak for that crowd of locals

that is sitting behind you here today,

because they are voiceless

and someone has to be their voice.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[SOMBER MUSIC]

It's days like this I wonder
why we're even doing it.

Well, I'm taking you to our
lake house this weekend, ain't I?

That's what we're doing it for.

Baby, we got a great life.

Well, I remember a time when
the community wanted us here.

Used to be nobody ever had
a bad word to say about us.

Don't be dramatic.

The community still wants us here.

I don't know.

ALL: [CHANTING] No parking
lot! We can't be bought!

No parking lot! We can't be bought!

You were saying, Eli?

Eat it!

Oh, my word!

- Take this!
- [CROWD CLAMORING]

Get off me! [GRUNTS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ Praise ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Praise ♪

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

God damn it, Eli!

Hit it!

♪ ♪

Whoa, whoa!

Easy, Eli!

[LAUGHING]

Slow down!

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHTER]

Dang, Corey, your dad just ate sh*t.

Yeah. He sucks at waterskiing.

And normal skiing, too.

- f*cking look at him.
- Son of a b*tch!

Maybe he's trying to learn, Jesse.

Stop being so argumentative, Kelvin,

damn little know-it-all.

I don't have to know it all
to know more than you, Jesse,

spending all your time
being bad, doing sex.

Oh, snap, Jesse. He got you.

You shut it. That's not funny at all.

It's kind of funny...

a dummy like you being a daddy.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Jesse! Jesse! Jesse, back it up!

I'm sick of that little f*ck.

Me knocking Amber up ain't
something to make jokes about.

Hey, hey. No. Hey!

Jesse, that's enough. Back it up.

- Mm.
- Shh. Don't disturb the baby.

[LAUGHTER] Hey.

You look like you could go inside

and have you a nap, sweet girl.

Oh, I'm doing all right.

I just, you know, don't
really feel like myself.

Welcome to motherhood, sister,

'cause you ain't never gonna
feel like yourself again.

Lori, don't you go scaring her.

I call 'em like I see 'em, girl.

Amber, having kids was the best thing

- to ever happen to me.
- Really?

Right up there with
getting a g*dd*mn colonic.

[LAUGHTER]

- Oh!
- Oh, girl.

I'm gonna go ahead. I
should get that rest, yeah.

Get that nap while you can,

'cause that's the last one you gon' get.

- Okay.
- [LAUGHS]

[YELLING]

- [LAUGHS]
- Nobody's impressed!

[LAUGHTER]

You know, you would never
even know that we had money

the way that man makes us live.

He thinks he's humble?

- He's just cheap.
- [LAUGHS]

So cheap.

You been writing anything new?

You know, a few things here and there.

How about you?

- Not as much as I wish.
- No?

Are we ever gonna do that
follow-up to "Sassy on Sunday"?

I love that song.

I mean, that's one of our best.

- [SIGHS]
- [LAUGHS]

We should record another album.

[STAMMERS]

What I wouldn't give to get
back in the studio with you.

[LAUGHS] Right?

How much fun did we used to have?

What's stopping us?

[SOFT MUSIC]

[BOTH VOCALIZING]

♪ ♪

[SCREAMS] God damn it, you...

[BOTH CONTINUE VOCALIZING]

[LAUGHTER]

Let's do a little trade-out
here, then, like...

♪ I've been everywhere
around the world ♪

- Oh, is it my turn now?
- Do it.

Uh-oh.

♪ I've heard every single... ♪

- [LAUGHS]
- BOTH: ♪ Singing bird ♪

[LAUGHS]

- Okay, funny. Or...
- It's not our best.

♪ Funny how the grass is always ♪

♪ Greener than the pastures ♪

BOTH: ♪ Now they're
long gone now, long ago ♪

[BOTH LAUGH]

That wasn't very good on my part.

I thought it was great.

Oh, my God, we've done it again.

Did it again.

♪ I've hit every kind of tambourine ♪

- Yes.
- Your line.

[INDISTINCT SINGING]

[PENSIVE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hey, Hayden.

♪ ♪

[GASPS]

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Hot gossip.

"Seven Reasons to Love Hayden."

Like you need them.

♪ ♪

What's this?

Little secrets.

[CHUCKLES]

"Dearest Journal, it is I, Judy Leigh.

Today in class, Dr.
Carmichael kept looking at me.

"At first, he just seemed
like a regular old man.

Boring!

But the more I'm around him,
he's a dang sneak attack.

His kind eyes, I start tingling hard."

What in the f*ck?

You're in my sh*t, you little perv?

That's private property!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GROANS]

♪ ♪

You can't stay up there forever!

Yes, I can. I got supplies.

[GROANS]

[IMITATES expl*si*n]

Come and face me, boy. [GRUNTS]

Not even close. Meh, meh.

If I see that bird again,

I'm gonna burn your tree house down.

[VOCALIZING]

[SCREAMS, GRUNTS ANGRILY]

Now, Paul tells us

what a Christian home should look like,

when he gives us the twin commands

of, "Children, obey your parents,

and, parents, don't
provoke your children."

And we sure can beat
ourselves up sometimes...

Mm.

When we're falling more
than a little short.

I can't get my kids to obey,

and they sure make it hard sometimes

for me not to provoke them.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHS] But we try.

We try, don't we?

And even if we can't attain it,

we can still keep our eyes on the prize.

[CROWD MURMURS]

- Amen?
- ALL: Amen.

I still can't get over
the size of that church.

Total rock concert.

It makes our church seem like a joke.

Well, our church is your
church whenever you want.

Yo! Everybody.

Amber and I have an
announcement to make.

We've decided on a name for
our beautiful b*stard baby.

Jesse, don't call him that.

We're not ashamed he's a b*stard.

He's not a b*stard.
Y'all are getting married.

Technically, he is a b*stard

because they built him before marriage.

- "Built him"?
- Yeah.

Like what you want to do
with your teacher at school.

Build babies.

Man, f*ck you, Kelvin!

Young lady, that is enough.

Okay, can you all please
just shut the hell up

and let me finish our announcement?

Can we just watch the
language, for God's sake?

We're at Jason's.

We don't need to do this right now.

Shh.

Everybody, even Daddy,

y'all just be quiet
for one second, okay?

This is a big deal.

My firstborn child's name will be...

Stallone.

[LAUGHS] "Stallone"?

Named after my favorite
actor of all time...

Sylvester, of course.

My wife and I very much enjoyed
his Planet Hollywood in Orlando.

Let's just discuss this later.

Nothing to discuss.
Stallone's a sweet name.

Nobody in his class will have it.

People will remember him.

Stallone Gemstone is badass-sounding.

I don't like how it rhymes.

Stallone Gemstone? It's weird.

Amber, you can't just let Jesse do

whatever he wants to this child.

Nut up, homey. Defend your progeny.

I think it's a dope name. Give me some.

Thank you, Corey.

For all you haters out there,
you better learn to love it,

'cause that's what you
are all gonna be saying

for the rest of y'all's
lives when you address him.

My boy Stallone.

Kneel to him.

[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC]

♪ I feel so helpless ♪

♪ All on my own ♪

♪ Running from the darkness ♪

♪ Since you've been gone ♪

♪ Tired of losing ♪

♪ It's weighing on me ♪

♪ I'm ready for a bit of
luck or a winning streak ♪

♪ ♪

- [SIGHS] Pretty good.
- Pretty darn good.

Can we take five?

I ain't as young as I used to be.

Ooh.

You still smoking?

Depends who's asking.

Somebody who wants a cig, b*tch.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, come on.

I cannot thank you enough

for entertaining me with this record.

I really needed this.

Oh, girl, I needed it more than you did.

Uh, I'm afraid that I
needed it more than you did.

No, I needed it.

Oh, I needed it.

I needed it.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Sweetheart, what's going on?

[SIGHS]

Things with Cobb are bad.

We got more issues with each other

than days that we've been
married. It's... [SCOFFS]

And I keep hoping that things will
just miraculously get better, but...

you know, they don't.

I feel like my marriage is over.

Why didn't you say something sooner?

You know you can tell me anything.

Because I knew once
I said it out loud...

it'd be real.

♪ ♪

[LAUGHTER]

All right, then right then and there,

my dad looks at me, and he goes,

"Boy, go in the house
and get me a napkin."

Huh!

And I'm looking at him like,
Dad, that gator just bit off

a piece of your pecker.

Like, what's a napkin gonna do?

- Come on. Come on now, Dad.
- What?

It was an improvement.

Pee hole still works,
but that's about it.

Inappropriate conversation
for the dinner table,

- if you ask me.
- He's telling body stories, dude.

Why don't you stop being

such a sensitive little b*tch about it?

Acting like you're
better than everybody.

I'm better than you.

A kid having a kid.

Your life's a dead end now.
My life is still wide open.

- Kelvin.
- How dare you?

Kelvin, no more of that kind of talk.

Daddy should spank his bare
a*s in front of everybody.

Spank your bottom, Judy.

Kelvin, we liked you better

when you weren't such a
little know-it-all dickhead.

- [PHONE RINGING]
- Little gossip boy.

- Jesse!
- Stop it.

Cobb's at the front gate.

- My dad's here?
- Yeah.

- This is ridiculous.
- It's not.

You just get your stuff, come back home.

I ain't gonna hear about it.

I'm working, all right?

- You ain't doing nothing!
- I am!

I'm making a record with
Aimee-Leigh Gemstone.

Yes, I am.

You're making g*dd*mn make-believe,

acting like you're her.

That's all you're
doing is nonsense, baby.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Damn, Corey, your dad's
drunk as hell, all wobbling.

Yeah, he's like that all the time now.

I overheard my mom talking
about getting a divorce.

I'm sorry, Corey. That's terrible.

Ah, sometimes married
couples just say that, Corey.

It's like a threat to
keep their partner in line.

- Yeah, I guess.
- Alligator's a*s!

You fell in love with my truck!

Is that what you're doing?

You're drunker than you are stupid,

and you're pretty f*cking stupid.

You're my wife, and
you're coming home now.

- I wouldn't go...
- Stop embarrassing me.

Anywhere with you. No. Don't touch me.

- You're embarrassing me.
- [BOTH GRUNTING]

- Okay, Cobb.
- Come on, now.

Come on, buddy, take it down a notch.

I mean it. Back off. Get away from me!

- [GROANS]
- [SCREAMS]

- [GASPS]
- Oh!

[GROANS]

- sh*t.
- Damn!

- Daddy just hit your daddy.
- Dad's gonna fight.

You hit me. You're very violent.

- It's all right now.
- That hurt, Eli.

I'm sorry, Cobb.

Get away from me!

You stay as long as you want.

- Don't come home, never, ever.
- Okay.

Corey, come on, buddy, let's go.

- Corey, no.
- Right now.

Corey, for ten times
over, let's go, boy.

I'm just gonna take him home, okay?

Why do you have to
be such a good person?

- Come here.
- Don't be hugging her!

- She's not even nice!
- I'll be right back.

- Okay.
- Come on, let's go. I'm going

Just want to make sure he doesn't drive.

Hey, Dad. Dad. Dad.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. Other side. Other side.

I'm gonna drive. I'm
gonna drive. No, Dad.

I can't believe I ever had sex with him.

Over here.

[LAUGHTER]

c*ck.

You earned it.

We have to try and help,

maybe get him back on the right path.

You think that's wise?

I mean, this could really blow up

if we keep getting involved.

He don't like us as it is.

Lori is my best friend, baby.

Spying on peoples?

Jesus, Judy.

I'm just making some pizza pockets.

Did you ask my mama if
you could raid the fridge?

She don't need to ask to
make pizza pockets, Judy.

Put some pants on, boy.

Don't flick me in the d*ck, b*tch.

Mom's gonna send Daddy

to go kick Mr. Cobb's a*s some more.

I wonder if y'all will get divorced.

I bet you will...

probably right after you
give birth to Tony Danza

or whatever the f*ck y'all
calling the baby today.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

But their third eyelid is clear.

It's called a nictitating membrane.

That clear eyelid is designed...

to protect their eyeball when
they go swimming underwater,

- go look for things.
- [HISSES]

Are you okay?

What do you care?

I actually do, Cobb.

I'm sorry I hit you.

I know we haven't exactly been close.

We're in each other's lives because
our wives are friends, but...

we spend weekends together,
a couple vacations, too.

We put the time in.

She wants a divorce,

so you ain't gonna have to
spend no more time with me.

Your wife is making
it easy for her to act

like me and her's life
together don't even exist.

Well, that's not
Aimee-Leigh's intentions.

They're making music together.
It's good for both of them.

You know I got money, right?

I got more than enough damn money.

I got $1 million in the bank.

Good. That's good.

And I don't care about being rich.

I just ain't fancy like you, Eli.

I work hard. I provide for my family.

But that ain't what Lori likes.

She likes fancy. That
ain't never gonna be me.

Sometimes when I'm lost...

I-I talk with the Lord.

It helps to clear the path.
Would you like to pray?

I'd rather jump in the
water with the gators.

I think you've done
enough, don't you think?

In fact, I don't ever want
to see your face again...

never.

♪ ♪

[GATORS HISSING]

BOTH: ♪ I was lost in a dream ♪

♪ Floating away ♪

♪ I'm lucky to sing ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ When we're older, I guess ♪

♪ We'll say these were the best ♪

♪ Of times in our lives ♪

♪ How about you? ♪

♪ I'm lucky to sing ♪

♪ With you ♪

- [TOILET FLUSHING]
- Ooh!

Whoo! Give that a minute.

Want to grab some food?

I could, uh, make us some dogs.

No. I just talked to Mom, so...

Oh, she come home?

Uh, no.

Uh, but I am heading over
there just for tonight...

hang out with the kids while
the parents are out and about.

You know that rich b*tch
Aimee-Leigh Gemstone

done poisoned your mama's brain?

Dad, I'm not even gonna
be with Mom, all right?

I'm gonna be with Jesse and the others.

All right.

Look, I love you and Mom both.

Please do not make me choose.

I don't want to get into it, son.

Go have a good time.

Rain check on the dogs?

Yeah, rain check on the dogs.

All right.

All right, dummies, I won't
keep them out too late.

Since you and Amber are about
to be parents, Jesse Gemstone,

now's a good time to show us
how responsible y'all can be.

Seriously, if you could
just not burn the house down,

we'd be eternally grateful.

You got it, Mama.

Bye, Mama Gemstone.

You got it, Mama.

[LAUGHS]

I love you two,

and I really appreciate
everything you've done for me.

And, Aimee-Leigh, I would...

I'd be broken right
now if we weren't making

this record together, so thank you.

Thank you.

I love you, girl.

And we're here for you, even old Eli.

Whoa, those... those are big words.

I'm so glad this album has helped you.

You know, I was thinking,

maybe we should sing a few songs,

you know, just for a small crowd,

just, you know, see what folks think.

You think it's time?

[BOTH MUTTERING]

Why... why is he acting like that?

[SNICKERS]

- Oh, no. No.
- [GLASS CLINKING]

- Oh, no, no.
- Evening, folks.

Y'all know I can't come to Oakwood

and not sing with Joe on the piano.

- [APPLAUSE]
- Girl, no.

- [PIANO TRILLS]
- Oh, yes.

- You big wh*re.
- Come on.

- Oh, God, no.
- We're gonna sing, girl.

Are you kidding me? I can't believe you.

Come on up. Come on.

Now, she didn't know we were
gonna do this tonight, okay?

And my girl's had a bit of a rough week,

- so y'all show her some love.
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Thank you. It does help. It does help.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

BOTH: ♪ Time moves so slowly ♪

♪ Since you took your love away ♪

♪ But I won't be lonely ♪

♪ 'Cause love will
come back here one day ♪

♪ When we were young,
though we're not much older ♪

♪ There was a song, and
we knew it by heart ♪

♪ It was sung at the top of our lungs ♪

♪ Why can't we sing it tonight? ♪

♪ Love isn't always on time ♪

♪ Why can't we sing it tonight? ♪

♪ Well ♪

BOTH: ♪ Love isn't always on time ♪

♪ I'm still a-waitin' ♪

BOTH: ♪ Love isn't always on time ♪

♪ Better late than never ♪

BOTH: ♪ Love isn't always on time ♪

♪ ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ If I go crazy, then will
you still call me Superman? ♪

- Yeah!
- ♪ If I'm alive and well ♪

♪ Will you be there holding my hand? ♪

♪ I'll keep you by my side
with my superhuman might ♪

♪ Kryptonite ♪

- No. No.
- ♪ Yeah ♪

Go away, Kelvin. Go.

♪ If I go crazy, then will
you still call me Superman? ♪

♪ If I'm alive and well ♪

♪ Will you be there holding my hand? ♪

♪ I'll keep you by my side
with my superhuman might ♪

- Ooh!
- ♪ Kryptonite ♪

My turn.

- My song is still going.
- Of course you picked

the longest f*cking song in the world.

I'm sick of hearing both of y'all b*tch.

You're gonna damage the growth
of our baby with that noise.

That's not how babies work, dummy.

- Is anyone hungry?
- Oh, God, you grazing again?

What do you want to eat this time...

ALPO dog food and Twizzlers?

I was thinking we could go out.

We could get tacos,
frijoles, and chalupas.

- Sounds good.
- Do you want some?

Hey, tell you what, how about I drive?

- Yes.
- Oh.

I think I'm going to stay here.

You all bore me.

I need to take a bubble
bath and read for a bit.

All right.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Vámanos.

My lavender's in the bathroom.

- I'm taking shotgun.
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GATORS HISSING]

♪ ♪

[GATORS HISSING]

Oh, you two are great together.

Thanks for being so nice to her.

And thanks for speaking to Cobb.

I doubt if it moved the needle,

but it was eye-opening.

I thought they were salvageable.

It doesn't look like it.

Well, that's a shame.

It makes me appreciate what we have.

We do have it good, don't we?

We do.

[LIVELY MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING]

All right, folks, let me explain.

- No, I'm telling you.
- Look, you be the knife.

- I'll be the fork.
- All right, this way.

All right.

Where's the sun at?
And where's the moon at?

- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
- The sun's here.

- Okay.
- Hang on, guys. Guys.

Hey, Dad, what's up?

Hey, son. Hi.

You at the Gemstones'?

Uh, no, actually, we, uh... we
left to get something to eat.

So you're not even there, huh?

That's good.

Yeah, food's good.

Yeah, look, my truck broke down,

so whenever you're done,

I need you to come pick me up.

Yeah, I'm over by Norton Bridge.

We could come pick you
up right now if you need.

Oh, no, no, no, no. No rush.

Take your time. Enjoy yourself.

Tell them I said hi.

♪ ♪

Damn, woman.

Back to navigation.

- I'm feeding two.
- Okay, but clean yourself up.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[THUNDER BOOMS]

♪ ♪

[GLASS SHATTERS]

♪ ♪

[BURPS]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[GRUNTING]

Yeah.

Teach you to f*ck with my life.

Ah, yeah.

♪ ♪

[CUCKOO CLOCK RINGING]

[CLATTERING]

♪ ♪

[GASPS]

[MUFFLED WHIMPER]

♪ ♪

- [SCREAMS]
- [YELLS]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

sh*t.

Well, I don't see him.

And he ain't answering his phone.

Maybe he got it towed already.

- I can't keep up...
- Oh, my God,

and the chili cheese fries.

I, like... I haven't
had those in so long.

♪ ♪

Eli.

Where are the kids?

- Kelvin!
- Kelvin.

- Son?
- Kelvin?

- Kelvin?
- [WHIMPERING]

- Oh, my God.
- [WHIMPERING]

Oh, Kelvin. Kelvin.

- [GRUNTS]
- [SOBBING]

Oh, my goodness.

Are you okay? Let me look at you.

Oh, you.

You're okay. You're safe. You're safe.

I'm so sorry.

Mommy's right here.

[SOBBING]

Everything was trashed,
well, except for...

Ripped up and stole a bunch
of my "Teen Hunk" magazines.

My f*cking hunks!

They got stuff from everybody, Judy.

Stop acting like yours is the most.

[YELLS]

We have no idea who done this.

They tore the whole house apart.

They got Daddy's gold Bible.

They did?

I don't understand it.

We were just out for a couple hours.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Oh, my God.

Darling, I'm so glad you're okay.

We just went to go eat.

Dad called me having
truck troubles, and we...

we drove to go find him.

I feel like sh*t.

Corey, you saw your dad?

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Yeah.

Yeah, we... we saw him.

- We just...
- [SIGHS]

We just gave him a jump.

♪ ♪

Oh, God.

I'm sorry, honey.

♪ ♪

[SNIFFS] Good enough.

I'm sorry about your Bible, Daddy.

[SIGHS] I'm just glad nobody got hurt.

- Yeah, me too.
- [GRUNTS]

It sucks.

[SIGHS]

Can I ask you something?

sh**t.

You think you and Mama
could ever get a divorce?

What?

Why would you ask me that, Jesse?

Mr. Cobb and Miss Lori are
getting one after so long.

Just makes me think it
could happen to anybody.

I will be with your mother

until the end of my days, son.

Word.

[SIGHS] That's how I
want me and Amber to be.

No divorcings or, you
know, sh*t settlements.

Just us and Stallone.

Yeah, little Stallone...

is gonna be a strong one, I can tell.

You bet your a*s.

Stallone's a warrior, Daddy.

He's a hero, okay? He is the one.

He almost sounds like a Gideon to me.

"Gideon"? What kind of name is that?

Gideon?

He was called upon by God
to save the Israelites.

Old Gideon had serious doubts
about fulfilling God's command.

But eventually he raised an army,

and he won.

Now, the Israelites
wanted to make Gideon king,

but he turned them down.

He said, "There is no king but God."

That's pretty tight, actually.

Gideon...

I'll have to run that by the missus.

I believe the burglar
pissed in my bourbon, son.

[SPITS, GAGS]

That's good to know, Daddy.

[SIGHS]

Who could have done something like this?

Well, we seem to upset a lot of people.

But whoever did this...

I can't believe somebody
would be this violent

and this ugly.

Whoever did it had the devil in 'em.

[THE HU'S "WOLF TOTEM"]

[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SINGING IN MONGOLIAN]

♪ ♪
[BRIGHT TONE]