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01x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Call Me Dad". Aired: February 29, 2024.*
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It follows Emil and Viktor, lifelong friends and partners at work. Viktor begins dating Emil's mother, Helle, and this sets an unusual family face-off.

01x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

Are you coming, sweetie?

CALL ME DAD

Doctor Kjærgaard?

EMIL BØGH

Excuse me? What are you doing here?

I have an appointment with

doctor Kjærgaard.

But he's not coming. He died.

He died?

I found him a couple of days ago

on the examination couch.

It was horrible.

-But you can't be in here.

-Of course.

These are the results of some tests

that I'd really like to see.

I'll be sacked

if anything goes missing.

I understand.

But I also think you'd understand

if I told you what I've been through

in order to get these results.

-I can't let you do it.

-Can I please just take a peek?

-Please?

-I must ask you to leave.

-And I must read this.

-Then I'll have to call my boss.

Helle gets my heart in a knot

she's just amazingly hot

Shall I turn it up?

Yes. Give it full throttle.

-I told the neighbours.

-Hi!

-Hello!

-This looks so cool.

Viktor hasn't sat down in two days.

That's true. Hi, Carla.

-Hi.

-Hi, Tubby.

-Happy birthday.

-Thank you.

Yes, happy birthday.

-How exciting. Take this.

-Of course.

It contains more than one element.

-There you go.

-Turn it over.

-She is so cute.

-Grace is from Nigeria.

We've paid for her schooling

for the next five years.

-How considerate.

-How thoughtful.

I love her!

-I must kiss her.

-Right.

-How considerate.

-Grace. Thanks. Lovely present.

-Did you bring the skewers?

-Yes, they're in my bag.

Perfect. Thanks, Carla.

Grace will get the place of honour

on my gift table.

-Big day, right?

-Yes.

-I'm a bit nervous.

-Okay. Why?

It's a bit overwhelming.

-45 people.

-Oh my God!

So we need to get the barbecue

going. It's over here, Emil.

Sure, I'll do that.

-Hi, do you need a top-up?

-Yes, thanks.

There you go.

Hi. Good to see you.

Viktor?

Thanks, Emil.

-Happy birthday.

-Hi, Erik.

I'm sorry about last time. It was

It's fine.

Beautiful roses

for a beautiful lady.

-I brought this as well.

-The one from last time?

-Yes. It's only improved.

-Thanks.

-Hi, Erik.

-Hi.

-Hello, lad.

-Hi, Erik.

-Happy birthday with your mum.

-Thanks.

-Hi, Lars.

-Hi.

-Good to see you. Long time, no see.

-Yes, long time, no see.

-Where's your wife?

-Powdering her nose.

-Careful, there she is!

-What?

-Emil! It's so good to see you.

-Let him breathe, damn it!

-There you are.

-Hi, lad.

-Hi, Dad.

-Hi. Good to see you.

-You too. Welcome.

-Thanks.

-Hi, Mum.

-There he is!

-Hello and happy birthday.

-Thank you.

-Here you are.

-You shouldn't have. Thank you.

-Happy birthday.

-Hi, Vibs.

Hi. Hi, Helle

-Hug?

-Sure.

Hi.

-Happy birthday.

-Thanks.

-What's this? It looks delicious.

-Root vegetables.

-Root vegetables?

-Believe it or not. Try one.

-What do you think?

-I think I need a beer.

Thank you for having us, then we

don't have to eat Vibs' cooking.

-That's not funny.

-Yes it is.

There's lots of food.

This is delicious!

The marinade

Emil? Emil, do you have a moment?

I think you're handling

it incredibly well. All this

You must find this whole thing with

your mum and Viktor awkward.

I definitely had to get used

to the idea.

-Yes.

-But

But I can see how much

they care for each other.

And love is love.

You can't really change that.

No. But why Helle of all people?

-I don't know.

-There are so many lovely girls.

I wonder if I did something wrong.

-Don't think that.

-No.

Viktor should be ashamed of himself.

He really should.

I..

I've been looking forward to having

grandchildren. Remember Karin?

-Yes.

-She has three.

-Does she indeed?

-Three!

It's all she talks about.

"Grandchildren, grandchildren."

You know what?

I don't know what to say to her.

Now it all comes pouring out.

Sorry, Emil. It's all too much.

It's just because I don't think

I'll ever have grandchildren.

I used that for the chicken.

I won't use the bits with chicken.

There's someone I especially

want to give thanks to.

Viktor, I love you.

Come and give me a big kiss!

I love you.

He's lovely!

-Emil!

-Yes.

I'd like a Bailey's.

-Don't have any more to drink.

-Calm down.

-We're leaving soon.

-Calm down. No cheating.

-No, I won't short-change you.

-No cheating.

Let me have one too, please.

No, you shouldn't be thirsty.

You're so Sit down.

It's so nice to talk to you, Emil.

You're so sweet.

Your girlfriend is sweet.

Did you know?

-No.

-Right there.

She's absolutely charming. Hi!

Cheers! Hi.

-Hi, sweetie.

-Hi, sweetie.

She's lovely.

-Holy cow, you're having fun, eh?

-We are.

Some more than others.

But we're leaving soon.

We're not.

We're drinking to the fact

that Viktor's girlfriend is 50.

Don't make a scene, mum.

I'm not making a scene. I'm just

having fun. We're all having fun.

Remove your arm.

He's uncomfortable.

-He's not uncomfortable. He's not.

-Move it.

-I'm not uncomfortable.

-Behave yourself!

-Is everyone okay over here?

-Yes.

Everyone is hunky-dory, Helle.

Viktor's just upset with his mummy.

-Dad, will you?

-Vibs, we're going home.

I would really like to propose

a toast to my daughter-in-law.

-Is that allowed, Viktor?

-Of course.

-Shut up.

-Pour one for your mum.

Yes! Sorry.

A bit more.

Cheers, Helle.

Come on. Hand it over.

-Cheers.

-Thanks, Vibs.

You want to be with my son,

but you won't clink glasses with me.

I'm happy to, Vibs,

but I don't want to drink alcohol.

-Okay.

-And it's okay to not want to drink.

-Nothing's wrong.

-What are you talking about?

Are you pregnant? Are you?

Vibs Vibs, be quiet.

I'm only six weeks pregnant.

Keep your mouth shut, Vibs!

-Keep it shut, Vibs!

-Oh, my God!

Mum? No!

I can't Helle is pregnant!

I won't tell anyone.

I won't tell anyone.

We weren't going

to say anything yet.

But I have to admit

that it's great.

Soon, we'll be a family of three.

Or four, Emil. Right?

You'll have to get used to

calling me dad.

-Helle, I love you.

-I love you too.

You're my best friend.

And I can't wait to spend

the rest of my life with you.

Phew So cheers to Helle.

-Happy birthday, darling.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

-I love you.

-Cheers! And happy birthday.

-Cheers. Happy birthday.

Emil wants to say something.

He wants to say something.

-Come on. Say something.

-No, I don't want to.

-Your mum is turning 50.

-Viktor, no

Emil is giving a speech!

-Speech! Speech! Speech!

-Come on, sweetie.

-Speech! Speech! Speech!

-Come on, sweetie.

In that case, I'll begin by

saying happy birthday.

Come on, Emil!

Congratulations.

Oh, my God,

it's so exciting and so huge.

When I look at you

Come on, Emil!

I suddenly realise

why everything's going to hell.

You only ever think of yourselves.

You're the most self-centred,

privileged,

hypocritical spoilt-rotten brats

on this planet,

and it makes me sick! Seriously.

The world is literally in flames,

and all you care about is the wine

sediment and your f*cking birthday!

What are you thinking? I know.

Only about yourselves.

Bloody hell, Mum! How can you think

you should have a baby

when you act like one yourself?

-No.

-And Viktor No, shut up!

Your head is so far up your own arse

that you can't see what's going on.

-Sit down! I'm not finished!

-Okay.

I'll sit down.

You put on a tie,

and suddenly you're "daddy".

Who do you think you are?

You're lazy, irresponsible and don't

care about anyone but yourself.

No one! Bloody foie gras, Viktor!

-That's enough, Tubby!

-Shut up, Mum!

-My name's Emil! Not Tubby!

-Stop!

-Stop it!

-What are you doing?

-You're insane!

-Rock on, Emil!

Are you okay?

Rock on!

Sweetie! What the hell is going on?

Emil! Stop that. What's going on?

What the hell is going on?

Have you gone insane?

You were right.

I haven't been honest.

-What do you mean?

-I don't love you.

We're not going to be together.

-Stop that!

-That's how I feel.

No it isn't.

-Take care of yourself.

-Emil, stop!

You're lying!

Hi, do you know if Siv

is working today?

She's not working tonight.

Can you get me her address?

-I'll check the office.

-Okay, thanks.

Sorry. Torben.

-Emil?

-Hi.

Hi. I was so sorry to hear

about doctor Kjærgaard.

-My deepest condolences.

-Thank you. Thanks.

I don't know It was a shock.

One day we were playing a doubles

match with Niels and Kirsten,

and the next

Yes.

About the job opening

in the kitchen

Is that still available?

I'm ready to jump on board

and go full throttle.

Yes I need to think about it.

Is the job no longer available?

Yes, it is.

-Was there a problem with my food?

-It was fine.

-Fine? Was it bad?

-No, it wasn't bad.

-Then what?

-It wasn't good. It was neutral.

What do you mean "neutral"?

If you'd squeezed lemon juice

over the crab,

it would have tasted of something.

Lemon?

Do you know how much water is

required to make a lemon tree grow?

-Listen, Emil

-I thought

What I know is:

Food has to taste of something.

Otherwise the diners leave.

Then I might as well

close my eight restaurants.

Okay. Okay

You couldn't care less.

True.

f*ck you, Torben. Yuck!

What the hell?

Did you get that address?

-Hi.

-Hi.

What are you doing here?

-Is this your shoe?

-Yes.

Where have you been?

I've been phoning

and texting you a million times.

I know. I'm so sorry.

I'm really sorry, but my life

has been absolutely crazy.

But now I've fixed it.

Hi, darling!

-What have you been doing?

-Been on the swings.

-Did you go high? Say hi to Emil.

-Yes.

Hi, Emil.

-Hi. Great to meet you.

-Hi.

I've heard so much about you.

It's nice to put a face to the name.

-Okay.

-Hi.

-I need to pee!

-I'll do it, and you two can chat.

Please do. Thank you.

That wasn't how

I imagined you'd find out.

Is that guy Who is he?

Is he your ex?

No, that's my husband, and he's

fine with us seeing each other.

Totally. Simon is seeing someone

a couple of times a month

and I have two, and perhaps you,

if you want.

But you need to decide that.

I know it's quite overwhelming.

It's a lot.

Some people can't handle

that type of relationship.

Others are more broad-minded.

And I thought you seemed

incredibly broad-minded.

We thought you might

think it would be nice

to explore this.

Do you want to come in for

a cup of tea and talk about it?

Mum, should he be standing

so close to the water?

Oh my God! And some wine.

-Good morning, lad!

-Hi!

Tubby, what happened?

Mum, there's something wrong

with my nose.

My little man. Come in.

What's happened? You're bleeding!

Where have you been?

-He's dripping on the floor.

-What has happened?